Well, welcome back to TPM! I can imagine this is somewhat unfamiliar territory now that these years have passed, but don't worry; we Fanficcers are more than happy to have another writer in our midst.
Interesting start. I'm a bit unclear as to what's going on, due to my never having read the previous fic, though. Perhaps I should search for it around the net... I like this introduction, though. It would seem a lot of mysterious things are going on, including one in particular at Morning Creek. Though you have to wonder if D-5's reading too much into the situation. I guess we'll just have to see. The Safari Zone problem should provide some interesting plotlines, as well. I'm still unsure of where this is going, but that's perfectly okay at this point in the fic. (I'm almost to Chapter 50 in one of my own, and the madness is still somewhat unclear!)
Good job with the characters, especially in that you didn't make the mistake of dwelling too much on appearance. You've found a nice balance, and you added some interesting points to that description, so good job.
There were a few things that could have been a little better in my opinion, though. I noticed a lot of instances where you reverted to using present tense, as well as some issues with other things, such as plurals. Thankfully, though, those are things that can be worked out of a fic with some solid editing. Just remember to keep those types of things in mind when you edit, and this will look much cleaner. (And yes, before you ask, I've developed a reputation as the resident grammarian.)
But this looks nice so far. I'm curious to see where these different mysteries will lead, and if there's any connection between them. Good start. Anyway, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter!![]()