D-5: A Family Affair (Chapter 2)

[DaNnY]

Hey everyone and all on the board. I'm making a return to Pokemon. It's been such a long time. I used to be here a couple of years ago, many new faces here, not many old - I seen DratiniHaunter13 is still here

Well, I recently bought a GBA-SP and Pokemon Sapphire cause I knew I could trust that to be a good game.... and now I'm hooked, I even bought my sister her on GBA-SP along with Ruby so I would have someone to battle with and stuff.

I swear the fic is here you just have to read the filler. Anyways, I've been gone for so long. I'm now making my own movies and stuff which you can watch here http://www.jackiedan.cjb.net and I'm working at Canadian Tire in Port Hawkesbury. Last time I even seen the forum was almost two years ago when I was at my then Girlfriends house (she was Nayia Waterflower / Starmie44) some people might remember us having a relationship thing going on here, not to mention some stuff happening in a post once.

Anyways, here's what you need to know. Last time I was here I wrote a fanfic called "D-5: The Magician's Creed" about some magical pokemon trainer breaking the creed of thier master as to not steal others pokemon using their powers, that awakened the dead master. It was sorta a Pokemon DBZ Hybrid with more action then just poke battles. A lot of deathes happened but when they eventually over came the evil most returned to life if they died at the hands of the zombie guy... haha... well this is kinda a continuation, you'll here stuff about what happened in Magician's Creed in the fic.

Also to note is that all of D-5 brothers are actually numbered from oldest to youngest (1-7). I really don't know why but it's always been like that since I made him up a long long time ago. Well enjoy!


Chapter 1: Hollowed Employment

It was all in slow motion now for the cocky trainer. His pride Pokémon, Machamp; was falling towards the floor. He doesn’t know what to do. Should he return him and forfeit the match; or should he allow him to land full force, only to find out if he can or can’t continue to battle. It’s too late.
“Machamp is unable to battle – win in favor of the gym leader!” called the referee.
“No!” said the trainer. “I’m capable of winning! I can beat you!”
“Not with your knocked out Pokémon.”
The Trainer frustrated recalls his Pokémon. “I will be back!”
“I assume so. I am the last gym leader before the elite. You’ll have to come back. You’re weak though. I doubt you’ll be back in a long while.”
“Do you even know who I am?”
“No, I don’t, and I could really care less... you’re weak! Go train – Blaziken, return!”
The gym leader walked out of the room but the kid followed him with his face red.
“I am Richard Kraw! My Brother is the top Elite in this league, and I must follow in his footsteps in order to bring honor to the family by having their second child also achieve greatness.”
“Listen! Your brother also didn’t beat me in his first try... in fact he was already an elite when I challenged him!”
“That’s a lie. An Elite member would never challenge a gym leader. He only accepts challenges of trainers on their quests.”
“I was a trainer! It was 7 years ago. You’re dumb too kid, leave!”
“I will not leave until you tell me who you are.”
The gym leader turned around to face the kid again. He wore his Morning Creek City hat on backwards. His light brown hair was parted in the middle and jut out from under the hat leaving a third of either eye covered, and some strands of hair hung out from the hole where you would adjust the size of the cap. He also wore his official gym leader uniform that was pale blue, but also had navy blue shoulders. “I am D-5, the youngest trainer to consecutively defeat all 5 elites. That includes your brother!”
Richard stood there, his mouth hung opened. “I didn’t know.” With that he headed towards the door and looked back as D-5 slowly walked up a set of stairs to the top of his gym. Richard walked off and the door closed.
D-5 reached the top floor of his gym. It wasn’t much, a hallway that led to a door. The door would take him outside, to a porch where he could look out over the city of Morning Creek. A bit of shade was cast down by the Leverage Corps building that stood near the center of the city. D-5 sat down in the chair that he kept up there. He pulled a pokéball out of his pocket. He pushed his forefinger onto the button that was in the middle of the red and white ball. It expanded in his hand, and then he threw it up into the air. Blaziken burst out of it and jumped onto the ledge of the building.
“Can you believe I’ve only been the leader here at this gym for a year” D-5 sighed, as his Blaziken listened. “There have only been a handful of trainers that bet me, but there’s been absolutely none that were able to on their first try.
“It just makes me believe that this isn’t where I’m supposed to be. I don’t think I should be a gym leader for the Rakso League. None of the trainers seem to be great enough to defeat me without loosing first. I should have taken the Elites’ offer when it came up so long ago.
“But if I did do that. I never would have found you, when you were a Torchic. We’ve come very far since then. I still wish I could re-live those days. When it was just me and the rest of the family; I wish I still knew where they all were.
“I know D-3 is out looking for new leagues all over the world. D-6 should be on his way to battle the Elites right now. Last I heard D-2 was getting ready to enter some under ground fighter ring where they pit Pokémon versus people. I can’t imagine that. D-1, D-4, and D-7.... I have no idea what they’re up to know. It’s been so long.”
D-5 stops all of a sudden. He rises quickly out of his chair and looks out at the skyline, the same as his Blaziken is doing.
“Yea, I see him to Blaziken”
Out in the distance they see a figure hopping from building to building. He’s been going around and fighting crimes that happen in the populated city. The people call him Pokémon Ace. He’s been in the news as well, shadowing the greatness of the gym leader, who should be the most respected member of the community.
“Are we going to look in to this?” D-5 asked his Blaziken.
Blaziken nodded and jumped from the porch where they sat. D-5 followed.
D-5 was much like his Blaziken in physical ability. Of course Blaziken had Pokémon abilities that D-5 would never have, but D-5 competed in the youth Olympics when he was 11 and took home the gold for Pallet town, one of his friends at the time, Tao brought home the gold in the female division. It’s been years since he had talked to her as well. Last time he ever seen here was before the evil magician Kemper had killed her in order to fulfill the curse he laid upon the world if any one were to break the creed of his magical school.
That was one of D-5 last adventures; he was 15 then, now 19. He and his brothers were forced to find several elements that were scattered over 4 continents in the Pokémon world. With those elements they would defeat Kemper, who was also D-1 old teacher, and free the souls that he sent to the dead lands. After witnessing most of his brothers and friends die during that adventure and others having Kemper control their bodies, D-5 decided it was time to stop the adventures. That’s why he became a gym leader.
Blaziken jumped to the top of a building as D-5 ran behind. “You know I’m still a bit rusty.” D-5 yelled to his show off Pokémon, not that D-5 could ever jump to the top of a five story building in one go.
He looked at his surroundings. He noticed a dumpster at the bottom of the building that the Blaziken stood on, and he noticed a fire escape on the building across from that. D-5 smirked and stretched his legs a bit. He ran at the dumpster, jumping to the ledge of it and pushing of in the direction of the fire escape. He managed to grab hold of the rung on the ladder that ended ten feet from the ground. From there he swung him self up to the flat surface and pummeled over the side. Now he climbed up the scaffolding that divided each level of the fire escape.
His Blaziken looked on as he jumped from one building across an 8 foot gap. He landed and rolled to the feet of his Pokémon.
“That wasn’t so bad.” D-5 said as he brushed of the dirt he collected on his shirt from rolling. “What’s going on down there?”
D-5 walked toward the edge of the building, where Blaziken was looking. They were atop the Morning Creek High Security Bank. There didn’t seem to be much commotion on the street as they looked down. D-5 thought that perhaps Blaziken was loosing his once fantastic tracking skills.
“You know what?” D-5 asked to his silent Pokémon, who was probably quiet so he could hear what was really happening on the inside. “For a high security bank, there wasn’t much stopping us from getting up here.”
D-5 looked around the roof as he figured almost any one could get up to it when two windows smashed. Two robbers were thrown through a forth story window.
“Oh man!”
The criminals plummeted towards the ground with shards of glass around them, but mere inches they stopped. Frozen in the air; as if they landed on an invisible table.
“What is going on?”
D-5 ran from the side of the building from where he was standing to a door that lead would lead inside. He pulled on the door and noticed that it was padlocked.
“Blaziken, use your Blaze Kick on the door!”
With a nod of approval Blaziken ran from the side and jumped in the air, when he was close enough to the door he extended his leg and knocked the whole thing in.
“Man, I just meant the padlock.”
The two ran down several flights of stairs before they had a robber thrown through a door and hit the wall next to them. They ran into the room of offices and seen him, standing in his white cloak, his face disguised by his hood. Next to him was an Alakazam, with his arms extended and focused to the broken windows. He was the one that kept the other two from hitting the ground. D-5 walked amongst the tossed about money and desks to wear the guy was standing with another criminal in his hands.
“What the hell are you doing here” D-5 asked as he neared.
“I’m here to foil a robbery.” The man said as he turned to face D-5. The logo on his cloak was a stylized “P” and “A”, which stood for Pokémon Ace. “Although I might ask you the same question gym leader; are you part of this terrorist group?”
“No, I was actually chasing you. When we found out you were in this bank we found it very odd. We thought what could he really be up to? And then all of a sudden this place is supposedly being robbed and you’re here.” D-5 said to him as his Alakazam returned two robbers to the office from the window. “I actually find that very odd.”
“I’m working side by side with the police force thanks. Now if you don’t mind, I have criminals to imprison.”
The Pokémon Ace runs and jumps out the window with robber in hand. His Alakazam followed after he grabbed the robber that was thrown into the stairway. Now D-5 and Blaziken stood in the office alone.
“Come on, let’s go back to the gym.”


The entered through the double glass doors, the television in the foyer played the news of the Pokémon Ace foiling the robbery. D-5 shut it off as he passed. When they entered the arena there was a trainer standing in the center, his back facing the two who entered.
“Listen kid.” D-5 yelled to him. “The gym is closed now. We’ll be accepting challenges again tomorrow at 9.”
“Yes, I know.” The kid replied without even turning around. “The referee told me that as he left.”
“Well you mind leaving until then? I really must lock up.”
“I actually think you’d rather me stay.” The trainer turned around. He revealed his blue hair that was lifted more on his right side, it also covered his eye. He wore a pokéball around his neck as a necklace. His shirt was Green and Orange, those only worn by workers in the safari zone. Under his left eye there was a scar, it wasn’t there the last time that D-5 seen him.
“D-3! What are you doing in Morning Creek?” D-5 said as he ran into the center of the ring.
“It’s actually very important. I know you actually like this new gig here, but I figure that you’re the only one who could help me in this situation.”
“Well please, fill me in.”
“In the safari zone I used to work at they began finding dead pokémon. We’ve searched the parks and there’s been nothing to determine that it’s been other pokémon killing them, or poachers. We’re very sure that they are being dumped there. We’ve never ever had a Spinda in our park but we’ve found three dead ones. We have no idea what is going on but they hired me to dig into it. I’m not sure why me but it must be my reputation as one of the family.”
D-5 stood there and took in all that he was saying.
“You know what..... I’ll do it!”
“Great!” D-3 said “We need to leave tomorrow. That will give us enough time to get to the Rakso Mach port to catch the Mach Plane to Goldenrod in Johto. From there we’ll need to travel to New Kanto.”
D-5 nodded, Blaziken did aswell.
The two brothers locked the gym, and left for D-5’s home, from there; the adventure would begin.

[mr_pikachu]

Well, welcome back to TPM! I can imagine this is somewhat unfamiliar territory now that these years have passed, but don't worry; we Fanficcers are more than happy to have another writer in our midst.

Interesting start. I'm a bit unclear as to what's going on, due to my never having read the previous fic, though. Perhaps I should search for it around the net... I like this introduction, though. It would seem a lot of mysterious things are going on, including one in particular at Morning Creek. Though you have to wonder if D-5's reading too much into the situation. I guess we'll just have to see. The Safari Zone problem should provide some interesting plotlines, as well. I'm still unsure of where this is going, but that's perfectly okay at this point in the fic. (I'm almost to Chapter 50 in one of my own, and the madness is still somewhat unclear!)

Good job with the characters, especially in that you didn't make the mistake of dwelling too much on appearance. You've found a nice balance, and you added some interesting points to that description, so good job.

There were a few things that could have been a little better in my opinion, though. I noticed a lot of instances where you reverted to using present tense, as well as some issues with other things, such as plurals. Thankfully, though, those are things that can be worked out of a fic with some solid editing. Just remember to keep those types of things in mind when you edit, and this will look much cleaner. (And yes, before you ask, I've developed a reputation as the resident grammarian.)

But this looks nice so far. I'm curious to see where these different mysteries will lead, and if there's any connection between them. Good start. Anyway, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter!

[DaNnY]

Haha, ya Mr. Pikachu, I try not to switch tenses.... I'll get back into a good streak soon I bet.

Yea, the other fic is incompleted on fanfiction.net somewhere's under the author of D-5. But man, I tried reading that thing again and it's hard... hahaha... I complete chewed up the process of writing back then. Although there was a consistancy in tenses towards the end. But not much detail, which I'm trying to put into this.

I'm gonna have to scan the pics I drew of the characters so people will be able to fully understand what they look like due to my lack of being able to draw their face with words.

Yes, everything is going to be linked. Since I've been making movies I kinda want to put the flare of one of those plotlines into the story. So I put the Pokemon Ace as a Superhero (which may seem weird, I dunno if anyone else wrote about a superhero in a fic before either so I thought that could be exploered) so there's going to be more than just Pokémon action and conflict. But Human conflict as well. Not only that but you'll get to see Poké vs Human too now that there's the underground fighting league.

I hope you and others stay tuned.

[DaNnY]

ok, everyweek there will be a new chapter posted. That way it's kinda like a TV series.. haha.... meh. Just thought I'd let ya's know. I hope those other views were people reading....

[DaNnY]

Woah... so i couldn't get on the comp yesterday to post this cause I'm busy filming, and next week I hope to have a chapter up too but I will also be busy filming again. So anyways, enjoy.

Chapter Two: Goldenrod Underground

“Attention Passengers. Our Captain has just advised us to bring attention to the ‘fasten seatbelts’ sign. With that we will prepare for departure in one minute, as well as our arrival at Goldenrod International MachPort in two. Due to the time that the flight takes there will be no in-flight movie. Also note that no lunch will be served. Please remember that all MachPort Passes must be renewed every six months. Thank you for flying with MachLines and please exit to the left. We hope you enjoyed your flight.”
D-5 and D-3 still sat in their seats.
“Did she just talk through the whole flight?”

Goldenrod City; one of the largest cities in the Johto Region, it has salons for pokémon, herbal shops, a radio tower, a game corner and a Gym. The streets are packed with tourists and towns people a like. Everyone is there for the “Underground Poké to Man Challenge”. It’s the first time that one of these events have been promoted, making it all the less underground. Some people aren’t necessarily there to watch however, they’re there to boycott for cruelty to Pokémon. Posters litter the ground where people walked. D-3 happened to pick on up.
“Look at this D-5,” D-3 said as he straightened out the paper. “It’s an ad for that Fighting League that D-2 is a part of now. Looks like they’re holding a tournament tonight for people to watch, I think we should go to it.”
“I don’t know. I actually never thought it was a good idea, even for D-2. It shocked me. He was the smartest of us all, I remember him building all these machines and stuff when we were younger.”
“So what you’re trying to say:” D-3 interrupted. “Is that you never thought a nerd like D-2 would ever be able to compete in a fight against anything.”
“I never thought he could fight the school bully, let alone a Pokémon.” D-5 finished.
“Well we are here now. I think it would be good to see him.”
D-5 shrugged. “I suppose, it has been a long time.”
They both walked into the food square that was in behind the Goldenrod Plaza, most of the tables were full, but one table near the middle was empty. They managed to get through the crowd and grabbed it before someone else could. They sat there and decided what to it.
“I think I’m going to go to the Eat-a-mon buffet.” D-3 said as he studied the restaurants around them.
“Actually D-3, I meant to ask you yesterday. How did you get that scar under your eye?”
“It happened one night as I was taking a shift in the Safari Zone. Somebody unleashed a Cacturne into my tent. It attacked me and I was left with this, and luckily only this.”
“You think someone released it?”
“No doubt in my mind. There has never been a Cacturne in the Safari Zone, nor has there been a Cacnea, so I know it didn’t evolve there. I must’ve been close to something, that’s why I had to come and get you.”
“That is strange, whatever it is that’s going on there I am going to do everything to help you. I guess we should eat now though, and then waste some time till the Fight.”

The Underground Tunnel in Goldenrod was packed, mostly with picket signs. The two of them squeezed their way through as boycotters called them names for attending such an event. They never even heard most of it. As they both rounded one of the last corners D-3 spotted something that he didn’t like the look of, he pulled D-5 back against the wall and out of sight.
“What’s going on? I want to go see D-2 man.” D-5 said as he pushed D-3’s hands off of him.
“I just saw some Team Aqua members here.”
“Team Aqua? What are you talking about?”
D-3 forgot that there we new teams being formed in that D-5 wouldn’t have heard about. “Ok, you know of Team Rocket, well there’s been some new diabolical teams turning up now. One of them is Team Aqua, their trying to flood most of the land so that the water Pokémon can have a bigger habitat, another team that is here is Team Magma; a rival group to Team Aqua. Not only that, but there has also been a Team Hybrid and Team Gen. I think this groups have something to do with the dead Pokémon in the Safari zone. So far I can’t really prove anything, but it would explain the Cacturne.”
“So what are we going to do?”
“We’re just going to walk right by them and enter the arena. I just figured you should know who those guys were.”
The Team Aqua guys were to busy chatting amongst themselves to even notice if anything was going on. D-3 and D-5 found a seat near the ring so they could really see what was happening in the ring.
They noticed the guy standing in the center of the ring. He bounced up and down as a warm, in order to keep his heart pumping at a constant rate. He jumped straight up into the air and back flipped as if it were nothing, he then aerialed over the logo in the center ring. He continued his warm up with a series of jabs and kicks. His long hair was all tipped Black, leaving most to believe that it was dyed at one point and has since grown out; the remained of the hair coming from his roots were blonde. The long hair was parted in the middle; it was a lot fuller on his left side. He pulled the rest of it back into a ponytail. They could also see that he had a thin goatee growing. He wore a blue guy with a maroon undershirt to match his belt.
An announcer now entered the ring. The fighter stepped back into a corner. The announcer grabbed the hanging mic. “Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for coming out to this great event. For those of you who don’t know these fighters have trained vigorously in order to compete with Pokémon as their equals. They are all aware of the danger that the Pokémon can cause to them. How this works is that you the audience will get to be chosen to release a Pokémon into the ring to battle with our fighters. First off we’ll need a Pokémon to go up against one of our favorite fighters in our league: D-2!”
The announcer pointed to the guy who stood in the corner of the ring. D-3 and D-5 were shocked to see what had become of their older brother. He was no longer the computer whiz who wore glasses that he used to be. He could move around that ring faster than anyone had ever seen. D-2 just stood there silent though; he was in the zone. You could see it in his eyes; they were still, awaiting his challenge.
“And now ladies and gentleman, may I have one of you to volunteer your Pokémon into the ring. The stronger your Pokémon is the better.”
Most of the crowd in the arena stood up, hoping to be picked.
“STOP!” A voice rang out from the arena floor. “You’ve got to stop this right now!”
From between the aisle ran a girl with pink hair; everyone who she was. It was Whitney, leader of the Goldenrod City Gym, also a pokémon activist.
“Listen Whitney, we have our permit from the city to be here and do this, the only people truly in danger are those in the ring, there is no way a pokémon could be seriously injured. Perhaps you shouldn’t be a gym leader if you’re against battles.” The announcer said as he tried to make a spectacle out of the gym leader.
“That is totally different.”
“Well let’s say you put your Miltank to the test?”
“Never!” Whitney clenched her fists in disgust. “I’m leaving, but I’ll have you know, you’ll soon see what you’re doing.” Whitney turned and left up the aisle, pelted with trash as she passed people.
“Let’s her it for Whitney ladies and gentlemen!”
D-5 still watched his older brother in the ring. It seemed that everything that just happened right now was invisible to him.
The announcer finally pointed out to one of the kids in the crowd.
“I choose you, Rhydon!”
From within the pokéball thrown in to the ring came a Rhydon, packed with steel hiding and a drill tipped horn; it spun as he let out his battle cry. D-2 still stood in his corner. The Rhydon stepped forward with slow but powerful steps. D-2 was still standing still; with only a few feet between he and the massive Pokémon.
The two brothers were on end, they couldn’t imagine what a Rhydon would do to their brother. “He’s planning something” D-5 thought to himself. “He knows the ins and outs of Pokémon. After seeing him move earlier he obviously knows that he’s faster than the beast, but he’s not stronger... I hope he knows that.”
The Ryhorn attacked with a menacing punch right towards D-2’s head. He brushed the hair out of his face as he shifted his left; dodging the punch. Ryhorn continued the momentum of the punch he threw and continued by a back fist, which D-2 arrogantly avoided by taking one step back.
“Come on Ryhorn, let’s make this interesting.” D-2 said smugly as he put his hair behind either ear. “I must’ve got all warmed up for nothing.”
“He’s moving like his Hitmonlee.” D-3 said to D-5. “They’ve been training long and hard to do this. He even invented a machine that enables Hitmonlee to copy every move that he does if he wants to have better Pokémon Battle.”
“Amazing.”
The Ryhorn’s rage built up; a human defeating him, he felt insulted. It stood at the end of the ring, with D-2 standing stoutly in the center. A battle cry was heard once more as the drill begun to spin. He charged at D-2. Each step he gained more speed and more power, D-2 turned so his back would be facing the on coming drill. From within his peripheral he could see how close the charging Pokémon got. He ran to the other end with Ryhorn on his tail. Before anything else could happen he jumped to the top rope, and used it as a trampoline to back layout over the tanked Pokémon and watch as it fell out of the ring.
“Ryhorn.... return” said the trainer from the audience ashamed at his defeat.
“There you have it ladies and gentlemen, but we’ve only just begun....”
More fighters entered the ring to take on anyone’s Pokémon but D-2 left the stage and proceeded to his dressing room. The two didn’t care to watch anymore, they just had to see their brother.

[mr_pikachu]

So D-5's changed completely, huh? Interesting. The human-Pokemon battles are a good idea, IMO; they're sort of similar to what Chuck from the Cianwood Gym did with his Pokemon. Nice idea. The picketers were a good idea, as was Whitney showing her disgust at the event. I guess we'll have to wait to see if anything comes out of that. And just what is Team Aqua doing there, anyway? Only time will tell, I suppose...

Watch your use of tenses, though. I noticed that a portion of the narration in the beginning used present tense. Past tense is really more appropriate for narration. Also, make sure your sentences make sense. For instance, this sentence was a little difficult to understand:

He bounced up and down as a warm, in order to keep his heart pumping at a constant rate.

What do you mean when you say he bounced "as a warm"? That part doesn't really make sense. Make sure you're using words in correctly in regards to grammar.

This is pretty good so far, though. The family's slowly being reunited, but we'll have to wait to see if they stay that way. Your descriptions were just enough to give us a good idea of D-2's appearance, and that's exactly what you want. Nice work with the battle, as well. This was a pretty nice chapter, and I look forward to the next one! Until then!

[DaNnY]

haha, oops it should be "as a warm up"....... my bad..... I have all the way to chapter 8 outlined and you should just know that it greats a whole turn in direction around there.

I'm also glad that there's someone replying so that boosts the writing spirits