How to be an Otaku in 7 days!

[Dark-San]

If you had browse through Borders, you will realized that there are tons and tons of books that are for Noobs. First, there is the Dummies series. The pile of books that literally teaches you everything from scratches. Secondly, there are also books that teaches us on how we could do up a certain task in a number of days.

But then, have you ever wonder why on why you couldn't find any books that teaches you on how to be an Otaku? Today, your local anime resident expert and Otaku teaches you on how to become one in days! 7 days in fact!

Be sure to be entertain!

** ~ **

Day 1

From Day 1, you have to get your image right. It is very important as lots of people tend to stereotype Otakus as being dirty, plump and smelly. But no, these people are wrong! Otakus are not like those they had in mind. Otakus, especially anime Otakus, have to have a glass fetish! I am not talking about your branded spectacles either.

Why do Otakus need to have a glass fetish and wear glasses? Firstly, we would sit down in front of the computer all day and chat with our fellow comrades on what episodes to expect on certain days. Secondly, we discussed on how likes and dislikes of a certain anime scene over the forum. Thirdly, we can monitored our moe figurines more closely with more feelings.

Hence, the number one golden rule is ...

Day 2 to 4
Now after getting your dorky glasses, you must be already pumped to do more moe hobbies. Collecting figurines are a must! We looked at these goddesses everyday, touching and putting our feeling into them. But there are also other alternatives, we could looked at.

Hence, golden rule two is ...

Many of us would complained about games. On how boring it gets, how predictable the plot can be or what lousy equipments your character possessed. But for Otakus, games to them means the following,

1) How can I get Setsuna to date with me this Sunday?
2) Should I go out with Sekai and dumped Setsuna or go for Setsuna and dumped Sekai?
3) What clothes should I recommend Kotohana to wear tonight?

People have different expectations of games. But to Otakus, it just means a totally different world for them.

How about TCGs? There are many in the market right now? You have your Naruto card games, your Gundam card games but Otakus would definitely play Duel Monsters. It is the most epic games ever to be played in large scaled tournaments since Pokemon TCG. But then again, playing casually does not mean anything to an Otaku! For them, they have the winning mentality to beat the odds and become the champion.

Different from the perception of what ordinary folks' impression of an Otaku being a loser. We Otakus are different! We are Champions!

Day 5 to 6
What is an Otaku if they do not even watched a single anime series? I have people telling me that they are anime fans just because they watched either Naruto or Bleach. But no, watching two titles does not put you on par with the likes of me. If watching one or two titles makes you a fan, then I must be an anime god!

Day 7
What are all those fuss about? Otakus originated from Japan. The lowest class levels of your Otakus are your NEETs! NEET stands for,

N - Not in
E - Education
E - Employment
T - Training

The second lowest are your Hikkimoris. These people who preferred to stick their ass at home and stay within their computer world. They generally preferred 2D girls to your 3D ones.

These scums are the worst of the society. And it is their fault that makes the other Otakus looked bad! We have the more intelligent ones like me. Those who have a sense of reality and still indulged in the series.

However the main point of being an Otaku means that we all have to one day go on a pilgrimage to Aikihabara, the anime and manga capital of the world!

** ~ **

Well, the above topic promptly sums up on how to be an Otaku within 7 days with all the relevant explanations and definitions. Still considering on becoming one? What are you waiting for?

(Spoiler:) Disclaimer: The above facts on becoming an Otaku in 7 days are fictional. TPM or Dark-san does not hold any responsibility should anything happen to you upon trying out the above steps!

[PancaKe]

Haha i read this, and I still don't understand what an Otaku is.
I'm gonna go wikipedia it.

[Weasel Overlord]

LOL those glasses are win! I wish mine looked like that. XD

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Great. Next, I want to know how to get a female otaku girlfriend here in Finland.

[Dark-San]

The response is bad! >.<

Looks like I failed in being goofy. =(

[Jeff]

I thought it was funny, especially the glasses.

Also, did you really watch all that Anime? Wow, I've only ever watched Pokemon and the Dragonball series. Of course, I don't claim to be an otaku.

[Zak]

Great. Next, I want to know how to get a female otaku girlfriend here in Finland.

You don't want one, believe me, even if you are one yourself.