A light read...

[Darien Shields]

I wrote this a couple weeks ago. I'm currently mulling over the prospect of continuing it. There's a solid concept behind it that I'm quite fond of, but at present I just don't have a cast of characters that I can connect to. Some retooling may be required on that front.

If any of you remember me, Gold Star! I hope I write better now than I used to. Although this isn't what I'd call A Grade... but we'll get to that later!

Prologue:

"Was that the last?"

The sun was rising in the east, and beams began to creep over the mountain. He glared as they shot into his sweat soaked eyes and made him wince. He turned his head.

"Do you think that was the last of them?" he asked.

Her eyes were wide and full of the horrors of this place. She stared back at him, searching his face, as if the answer was hidden somewhere in his own features. "I don't know", she said. "I just don't know."

How many could be left? How much more blood had to be spilled? Behind them the island was piled high with bodies. Dinosaurs and dragons lay collapsed against each other, throats shredded and bones broken. Heaps of ash were all that were left of some, smoking craters of others. The southern beach was a red stained quagmire. Towering crystals of ice exploded out of it here and there. From within the transparent prisons birds and giant insects were still frozen in their death throws.

But was it over? Were there more monstrosities left to face? They couldn't survive much more. One more monstrosity would be the end of them. His sword, crude in the first place, was warped and blunt underneath its dry coat of blood. Every muscle in his body screamed out at him to stop, every step felt like another dagger thrust into the sole of his foot, every breath raced out of his lungs, and it felt like he would never pull in another.

She didn't look quite so bad as him. Underneath the stained gown her body was barely hurt at all. But he dare not think of the agony she must be feeling inside her head, within those green locks...

"Well... come on..." he said, and heaved her up alongside him. Her shoulders felt small under his arm, and if he had the strength left to move it he might be afraid of crushing her. But for now, all there was to think about was the peak...

Silhouetted by the rising sun, the silver slopes of the mountain made the cave mouth look all the darker. Only dread fell upon them as they stared into it, and yet they both felt it, knew it. Knew that they had to go on. Just that little bit further.

'Stop'

They froze, stock still. They had not heard it before because it hadn't been there, but now it was- the harsh rasping breath between growls. Paws tapping against gravel, a tail trailing in the dust. It all resounded in their heads, as if they were hearing it from the heart of a cavern.

Slowly but surely they turned and faced the wolf.

'There can be only one. And we both know it will not be the Human'

The words were heard in the heads of all, even though the man was clearly not part of the conversation.

He felt the muscles in his chest tense as if by magic. Agony spread out through his body as limbs pushed past peak snapped into action. Somehow he found his body preparing for a fight. He raised his sword. His lips peeled back into a smirk, and he spoke despite himself.

"I thought you left long ago, with the others."

The wolf snarled.

'I have come for my Prize. I have come to Deny You.'

The sound of cracking stone shot up from beneath, and the two figures looked down in time to see a black spider web of fissures spreading across the ground. The wolf's muscles surged and he released a howl. At once the ground flew up, breaking into pieces. Gravel spilled off like sand from an upturned crab, and the two stood upon a floating slab of rock. It shook, ready to fly off into the nearest cliff face, but then she fought back.

She closed her eyes and balled her fists.

The rock stilled, and descended gently back to its place.

She put an arm on his shoulder gently. "Go. I will hold him off."

His physical pain vanished as his mind was dropped into a pit of confusion. "But- no- I can't."

She smiled, and suddenly he wanted to cry. "Go."

It was not a word- it was more. It echoed and reverberated in his head until it was a deafening shout. It crowded out conscious thought, crowded out his control. His legs turned by their own volition, and ran.

The wolf bore its teeth.

'Why do you defend him? Just as I am more than you, you are more than him. He is unworthy.'

She said nothing, but went on smiling. With a deep breath she dove into her mind.

By the time he could control his legs, there was no way to go back. There was no mountain to climb down again. The rock had exploded over and over again, only the rubble did not fall to the ground. The sky was filled with boulders and pebbles suspended in mid air. He could hear rock screaming and breaking as it was shattered over and over again in mid air. He could not make out the combatants, but he could hear her screams.

But it was too late to turn back now anyway. He was here. He was in the cave mouth.

The hunk of metal he'd called a sword clanged to the ground as he paced inside. If the wolf caught up to him now it would make no difference.

The chamber inside was cool and still. He knew why; no living creature had ever stepped foot into the perfect half sphere before. His feet padded against smooth gleaming black stone, and he entered into the circle. Twenty curved spikes, like great talons, surrounded him, clutching at the disc of the floor. They were of no consequence to him. All that mattered was the centre of the circle.

The Obelisk.

It loomed over him, black and cold. Whatever material it was didn't shine or give off the slightest gleam, and yet as he approached he could see himself reflected in it like a shallow pane of glass. He saw the ragged man who had crawled his way to the top.

And then he felt the urge to Touch It.

Deep within him, his heart tugged. This was it. Was he really going to abandon her? If he did this, there was no going back.

His reflection melted away from the face of the obelisk, and with it all remorse. It was over. It was all finally over, the madness would end. He didn't have to worry about her. She was gone, and no longer his concern. All that mattered was this.

He touched the stone.

~*~*~

Professor Hare touched the stone. It was cool to the touch, and smooth, even through his glove he could sense its perfection. His mind flooded as he did so, imagining hundreds, thousands of things. What had it been like the last time someone touched this? How long ago had that been? And what could they do once they had?

His hand began to itch within the leather. He wanted to press his skin up against it properly.

"Weeeaavile."

He removed his hand, and turned back. His pokémon was looking at the obelisk with equal fascination.

"You sure you should be doing that, Prof'?"

Hare smiled. "It's no trouble Greg." he said, waving his concerns away. "As you can see we're both quite all right. So long as we don't touch it with our skin."

His assistant frowned, but said nothing more. He had equipment to set up after all.

"But I think we best put you away just to be on the safe side..." the scientist noted, withdrawing a minimized pokéball from his pocket. The Dark pokémon flinched, but the crimson beam was already extending towards it. Moments later it had vanished, and was stowed safely in his pocket.

"We mustn't let any pokémon in this room, you understand?" Hare said, turning to Greg. "Under any circumstances."

Greg nodded, and started to set up the barrier around the monolith.

Hare looked around the room again, examining the worn stone disc. So many dreams had suddenly come true. It was here, and so much like he had imagined it. So many theories confirmed, so many more questions answered.

A section of the disk had been smashed when the ceiling started to fall in, and he had counted the remains of three arcing claws scattered on the floor. That made twenty, all in all, and the other seventeen fit perfectly. Some were more obvious than others. The huge metal spike, and the talon made entirely of ice crystals were two of the more obvious ones. Even though it looked like dull obsidian, he could feel the heat radiating from the fire spike.

A lifetime's work for this...

He withdrew his hand from his pocket, the glove now removed.

He smiled.

But what would a mortal lifetime be to a God?

[classy_cat18]

Wait a second. I recognize the name! Don't remember any of your work. I think someone nominated you for the Fanfiction Hall of Fame.

I don't think you remember me. I might've started writing after your departure. Anyway, good work.

[firepokemon]

Hey Darien Shields. This was well worth reading and if you can find those creative juices flowing, I think this could become a fantastic piece of fanfiction. Your use of descriptions are admirable and they were able to involve me in with the story. What was surprising was one did not think of pokemon at the start and I consider it a strength. This makes it that much more interesting for any further chapters that follow. Your use of dialogue works reasonably well, a few things could be reviewed. For instance in one piece of dialogue it says "Prof". And while its possible people say that, I do not find it to be naturally sounding and I believe "Professor" would be better.

The writing itself flows well and there are not many awkward phrases. However this piece I have in quotes for me require reviewing:

They froze, stock still.

Other than really that, I don't think there was anything that came off awkward or unnatural. In fairness though I think it loses some of its impact when we come to Professor Stone. In that descriptions are used less frequently and maybe it would be better suited to a chapter or something.

I guess the main thing is whether or not you continue the story. It has great potential, but it will require good planning and to be written when your creative juices are flowing. Whatever you decide, this prologue at least is some wonderful writing. If you do decide to continue writing this I would be in interested in reading it. Well done.

[mistysakura]

I remember you! Thanks for starting up the E-zine And doing FFRO stuff (the FFRO is kinda dead at the moment...) I remember you wrote Pokemon Kami, which had great description. Welcome back! Um, I haven't read this yet, but will edit in my review once I have.

[Darien Shields]

Argh, I just realised that when I copied this from Google Documents I went to all the trouble of inserting italics tags.

.... and completely forgot about putting in a representation of the Scene Break.

I will edit it in, and I hope that it was still possible to tell where it was, but if not, (for those who have read already) it came between the unnamed character in the first scene running into the obelisk room, and Professor Hare examining it in the second. Sorry about this, I realise it rather screws with the reading if the scene break isn't there.

Thanks for the kind words and the critique. I am still not 100% sure if I'll continue this, but I will try to write something good solid and pokémonny soon. Maybe an adapted continuation of this. (none of the characters in the Prologue are protagonists in the main story anyway)