To lose an unknown life [a poem by UP]

[Unsolved Puzzle]

never tried poetry before, so here we go
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TO LOSE AN UNKNOWN LIFE

To lose a life
you did not know
He could of been your friend
or Foe
But he is dead
He had no control
but the Acident took a Faithfull toll
He might of made
a discovery
to change the life
of you and me
but he is dead
never to live
the life
that could of been his

[mistysakura]

Not bad, not bad. Yeah it's always sad to lose someone, part of it being all the things he/she could have done and experienced, and knowing you'll never get to know them better. So I like the concept behind this. But it would have made the poem better if you had gone further into all the lost oppurtunities... such as you'll never see his smile, you'll never see him cry, you'll never comfort him in sorrow or see how strong he is when he stands up on his own feet again, you won't even have the chance to be wounded by his words etc. At the moment it's all a bit vague, and we might learn to care for him more if you put in some more details. (It doesn't mean you have to make the poem about a specific character, but these universal things which make people human make the life more real.) Of course, everything's your choice though, and you can make the poem as simple or as complicated as you like.

But some things aren't a choice, such as good old spelling and grammar. The mistakes you made:
'could of' should be 'could have' (both times)
'Acident' should be 'Accident'
'Faithfull' should be 'Faithful'
'Might of' should be 'might have'

Hope that helped.

EDIT: Oh yeah, we do have a Poetry Corner at the top of the forum. It's not a rule that all poetry goes in there, so you can still make a separate topic for your poems if you want to, but most of us put our poems in there so it's like a collection.

[Unsolved Puzzle]

yah i didnt write it in word first, and i naruraly have bad grammer. But thanks misty sakura, you sound verry poetic.