~Cutsom Robo: Tournament~

[-/Deathborn/-]

My newest fic, will be finished in 15 chapters hopefully.
It's about 3 school guys(Julian,12, Nick,14, and Attilla,17), who find
out about a secret of the school. And about the Outside world portal under their school.

Custom Robochool Conspiracy

-Chapter 1 of 15-
At the School For Future Commanders, or SFFC, students who are usully 12-17 years old, work their way to become Robo Commanders. Battles are held all day long, classes on stratagy, parts, and other topics concerning Robos. Yet some students have found ways to get illegal parts.
But one Student managed to make his "own" parts, though illegal, there was no sign they where.


"Hey,Nick! How's you Robo doing? I heard you have some really nice parts!" Julian asked Nick, who was modifying his Robo.
The computer screen showed a Rakansen Body, Wyrm Gun, Swallow Legs, Tremble Bomb, and Cheetah Pod. They all had a '!!' next to their name.
"Aren't those parts..errr..ill-"
"Shut up! I don't want anyone to know!" Nick hissed at Julian. He comepleted his Robo, and his Cube, which was black, came out of a slot. He put it in his
pocket, and walked away.
Julian decided to follow. Half-way down the hall of the 3rd floor of the school, Julian was wondering how Nick got illegal parts.
"Hey, Nick...couldn't ya tell me how you got those parts?" He asked, curious.
"I made them, took me a week to get them working." Nick replied.
Keeping their voices down, Nick continued.
"You see, a parts generator could not generate these, and I needed new parts, so I modifyed some parts to accostum to my needs." Nick explained, cautious.
"But, aren't those home-made parts supposed to be made under certain safety regulations?" Julian asked.
Suddenly, a voice came from behind.
"And they must also not be able to cause serious mental harm enough to kill." Attilla said, who was following them the whole time. He was the best in the school, a great commander with a great robo. He was 17 at the time, and was deciding on being a Bounty Hunter.
"Hiya, Matt. Wanna do a 3-Robo Battle Royal?" Nick asked.
"Sure. Remember, I'm the best in teh School, so I'll go easy on `ya." Attilla said.
"I'm pretty decent, but I can't beat the teachers.." Julian said, almost glummly.

In the battle room, the three friends put their cubes into the slots, and 'dived'
to start the battle.
After the cannon shot, the three friends duked it out, Nick in his home-made robo, Attilla in his Strike Vanisher(with Halberd Body,Afterburner Gun, SpiderG pod, Feather Legs,and Geo Trap Bomb), and Julian in his Lightning Sky(Breaker Body, Drill Gun, Titan Pod, Standard X Bomb, and Booster Legs).

At the start, Attilla fired an Afterburner round at Julian, nailing him in the legs. Followed by Julian's Titan Pod, which exploded in Nick's face. Nick launched a Tremble bomb round, and surrounded Attilla with blue fire. Attilla launched 2 GeoTrap bombs, and severly damaged Nick's Robo. Nick fired rounds from his Wyrm gun, and Julian was smart enough to slide out of the way, launching a bomb at Attilla. The bomb barely missed, but Attilla air dashed out of the way, and fired 5 Afterburner rounds. They nailed Julian so much his robo exploded. Julian lost. 1 Down, 1 to go.

Attilla was squared off against Nick. Nick fired shots from his gun, hit, but Attilla air-dashed in time and went into stealth to doge the shots. Deploying 3 SpiderG pods, they homed in on Nick (about to fire a pod shot), and exploded all at once, and Attilla dashed in and fired his Geotrap Bomb in Nick's face.

KAAAAAAAAABLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!! Nick's robo exploded. Nick and Julian lost to the best in the school.
After de-diving, Attilla looked not proud, but impressed.
"Wow, you really put on a good fight. I'm still the best in the school, but Nick sure has potential. You too, Julian." Attilla said.
"Maybe I should get a Funky Big Head model instead..." Julian thought out loud.
"No, Lightning Sky is good. Since they can glide instead of air-dash, you have a serious advantage. You gotta make use of it." Attilla said again.
"HEY! Don't ignore me!" Nick whined.
"Oh, you did great. Practice ALOTALOTALOT and you could beat me. Those parts could beat even a Metal Grappler in under a minute." Attilla said to encourage Nick.
The three where 5 minutes late to their classes, after running in the hallways like chickens without heads.


Later, after all the classes where done, the loud speaker crackled to life-
"TOURNAMENT NEXT WEEK! AGAIN, TOURNAMENT NEXT WEEK!"
"Sweet! Let's go home and practice!" Julian and Nick said at once.
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Likey? No Likey? If you think it's too long or too short, wait till you see Chapter 2. Goona be REAL long..actully, looks bigger in Notepad than here..

[-/Deathborn/-]

-Chapter 2 of 15-

At Julian's house, Nick and Julian where talking about Robos and what kind of part Nick should make next.

"You know, an Ehnanced Breaker with more defense, and speed on the ground. Ya know? Wouldn't that be nice?" Julian asked Nick.
"How about a Little Raider with more defense? Now THAT would be nice...and extra offense power.." Nick said.
Just then, Nick ran to his computer, smacked it on, put in his cube, and started up his Part-Making program.
Julian was not far behind.
"Hey, Nick! What should we call this thing? Extreme Flyer? Superrobo? Unknown?!?" Julian asked Nick.
Apparently, Nick wanted exotic names, and chose "Ruhiel" for the Lightning Sky with more defense and speed. He also chose "Bleda" for the Little Raider with more Defense and Offense. "Ruhiel" had average defense and speed, but it's disadvantage it was a big target. "Bleda" had above-average defense, but average offense.
After 2 hours of coding, "Ruhiel" was a working body. It had "!!" next to it, but Nick didn't particuly care. He turned to face Julian after an hour of coding for "Bleda", with a sad look on his face..
"Sorry, Julian. This one is too complex for me. But, I can make a weapon for you to make it up to you." Nick said.
Julian wondered- 'I could have Ruhiel for my body, but my Bomb ain't that great..'
"Could you upgrade my Bomb, the Standard X?"
"Sure thing. Now, let's see here..." Nick began to tap keys furiously. Code scribbled across the screen, soon, after 20 minutes and 500 lines of code, Nick turned around and said:
"Here ya go, the Wyvern bomb. Upgraded in everything to make it have all average ratings. Pretty nice, if I say so myself."
The part was just like a Standard bomb, but it was a white color, and was illegal. It fit onto the Breaker's hands easily. And Julian took his Robo cube back home.

The next day, in school, Nick and Julian went into the battle room, and practiced 3 times, Julian won first, then Nick, then Nick again.
"Wow, not bad, Julian. See that young kid over there? Try fighting him."
Julian went over to the little kid, and asked if he wanted to fight his robo.
"YEAH! I'm goona crush you!" The little kid asked in his tiny voice.
After the cannon launched, Julian in his New lightning sky (Ruhiel Body, Drill Gun, Wyvern Bomb, Titan Pod, and Booster legs), and the kid's Little Raider
(Perigene Body, 3-Way gun, Standard Bomb, Twin-Flank K pod, Standard Legs) duked it out.

First, Julian fired a wyvern bomb, nailing the kid in the face. Julian doged the 3-Way gun shots, and fired his Drill gun, Brought in the kid, and blew a bomb in his face. The kid, still defiant, fired like crazy. 3-Way gun shots covered everywhere, Julian glided and fired a Titan Pod hurling at him, a huge explosion occured, and the kid fired a Standard bomb, hitting Julian. Taking minimal damage, Julian ran and rammed into the Little Raider, severly damaging it. Julian took the final shot from his Wyvern bomb, and the poor kid's robo exploded. Julian won, obviously.

After de-diving, the kid started crying, vigourously.
"N-n-n-n-n-ooo...fairrrr..."
"Hey,kid..don't cry. You put up a good fight. Heh heh..err.." Julian said to the kid.
"Good grief, let's get outta here." Nick said, starting to run.
"Right behind you!" Julian said as he ran after Nick.
After the classes, the kids met Attilla once again. And this new kid was next to him. He looked enthusastic.
"His name's John. He only has a Ray 01 with standard arment. The principal told me to train him in the battle room. Wanna come?" Attilla said.
"Sure. I made Julian some new parts, a new body and bomb, so watch out! Heh heh heh..." Nick said.

In the battle room, that little smart-a** kid was gone, luckily.

The battle took 5 minutes. Julian was doging shots from Attilla's Afterburner Gun. And John's bombs.
"Nice pair.." Julian thought.
Nick, however, had locked onto John, firing a Wyrm Gun shot, nailing John. John got up, locked onto Nick, and started shooting. The shots made no contact, so he shot a pod shot. Nailed an unspecting Nick, and John went in and fired 6 shots into Nick's Rakansen body before retreating. Julian had went onto Attilla, who soon got a hold on Nick, and Julian got a lock-on on a weakened John. Firing a Wyvern Bomb, nailing John, and his Robo explodeed.
"He ain't goona be happy.." Attilla thought.
The Battle continued. Attilla purposely gave up, because he wanted to make sure John didn't freak out.
After everyone de-dived, John wasn't sad, just a little disapointed.
"Oh,well. I lost. I'll go home and practice some more." He said.
"Wow. He's pretty good, considering he has only standard arment." Julian said.
"Remember, I was going easy on `ya. Don't go thinking I quit because I knew I couldn't beat you two!" Attilla said.
After they all got home, Julian practiced all night against a computer oppenent. He got better, but he knew he couldn't become someone of Attilla's skill overnight. Nick, was vigourously trying to train against a Very-Hard AI oppenent. Nick won 10 times, lost 5 in a 15-Match round. But Attilla had other plans.
---------
Likey? No Likey?

[-/Deathborn/-]

If this thing doesn't get a reply not from me by tommorow, this thing will be dead.

[Mewfour]

Yay! A custom robo fic!!!

Though, a few little weeeeee problems, tho.

The next day, in school, Nick and Julian went into the battle room, and practiced 3 times, Julian won first, then Nick, then Nick again.
"Wow, not bad, Julian. See that young kid over there? Try fighting him."
Julian went over to the little kid, and asked if he wanted to fight his robo.
"YEAH! I'm goona crush you!" The little kid asked in his tiny voice.
After the cannon launched, Julian in his New lightning sky (Ruhiel Body, Drill Gun, Wyvern Bomb, Titan Pod, and Booster legs), and the kid's Little Raider
(Perigene Body, 3-Way gun, Standard Bomb, Twin-Flank K pod, Standard Legs) duked it out.

Aye carumba, where to begin?

So okay, let's say for sake of argument that I have no idea what the hell Custom Robo is, much less any idea what the hell Robo Cannons, Pods, etc. are. At least try to detail and explain what everything is for non-Robo fans, k?

Also, you'd better jsut slooooooooooooooooooow down alot, bub. Jumping from idea no. 1 to idea no. 2 in less than two sentences is more likley to give your readers a headache than entertain them. See the above quote there? Say if I was still said non-Robo fan, I'd be thinking that Julian and the kid were lauched out of the Robo Cannon instead of the Robos themselves.

Lastly, canon. How is it that a 12-year old kid gets three illegal parts that are capable of killing the other commander via mental shock? Unless he had a run-in with a pack of criminals, illegal parts are a no-no. And plus, I'm pretty sure someone would report him, too . And a portal to the outside world underneath the school? I'd think that a gateway would be in a more, oh, I don't know, SECURE place like the Police station? City hall?

Hm, well I suppose it's a good try for a beginner.