Game: Whack-a-TPMer v.3 M.A. T_M_L

[Shadow Wolf]

*hits Master Of Paradox with a mop*

Acronym-whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

shinypkmnchaser, it is your turn.

*shinypkmnchaser wakes up in a dark classroom (sounds familiar, it should) sitting at a desk. Inferno_Dragon is in the front sitting at a desk with a giant test in front of him.*

"Hold it, Inferno_Dragon. I remember what happened to the last people who took your test. I am not going to take your test and I am going to leave this classroom." shinypkmnchaser said as he got up.

*shinypkmnchaser headed towards the door. Inferno_Dragon was just sitting there. shinypkmnchaser turned the knob and exited the room into a hallway. shinypkmnchaser saw a sign that says cafeteria and decided to go towards there. Opening the door, he saw ... the same dark classroom that he left from.

"What a minute, how did I get back here? I headed towards the cafeteria." shinypkmnchaser said confused.

"You really think you can escape so easily. Here is your real test; the room is filled with a toxic gas which I am safe from but you are not. The vials are in those test tubes but here is the catch. In order to get to those vials, you have to beat him." Inferno_Dragon said.

*shinypkmnchaser turned around and saw a dark version of him holding a large sword.*

"How can I beat myself?" shinypkmnchaser asked.

"You can't" Inferno_Dragon and the dark version of shinypkmnchaser said at the same time.

*After several failed tries, shinypkmnchaser collapsed to the floor. Inferno_Dragon walked over to the test tubes. He poured them into a jar. Using a spoon, he mixed them.*

"Hey, dark version of shinypkmnchaser, want this new drink that I invented? Don't worry, it is safe. There was no antidote. shinypkmnchaser learned a big lesson. In my classroom, you can never win." Inferno_Dragon chucked.

shinypkmnchaser, you have been whacked by your doppelganer.

[Master of Paradox]

Deep in the bowels of the earth, the Master of Paradox pulled on several levers, causing grinding noises in the space around him. He wiped off his forehead, planted his feet on the panel in front of him, and yanked hard on one lever in particular...

Inferno Dragon rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, finding himself standing in the center of a massive arena. All around him, people cheered and roared from the stands. On the far side, a gate opened.

Out walked a giant of a man, easily eight feet tall, wearing a helmet shaped like a skull and chain armor over his chest. He carried a massive hammer in one hand, and his eyes glowed red.

Inferno Dragon gulped, muttering, "Aw crap."

"LET MORTAL KOMBAT BEGIN!" the man shouted, and then swung his hammer around. It caught the bottom of Inferno Dragon's ribs, and the sheer force tore his upper body off of his waist.

"I WIN," Shao Kahn said as the severed halves of the man's body landed around him. "FLAWLESS VICTORY. FATALITY."

Mortal Whacked.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

*Whacks Crazy Elf Boy with Ash_300's profile*

Hey, postcount doesn't end when it reaches 2,000!

[mr_pikachu]

*whacks Mikachu Yukitatsu with my profile*

14,531 > 1,679. A postcount doesn't end with four digits!

(How on earth did I ever get that many posts, anyway...?)

[Shadow Wolf]

(How on earth did I ever get that many posts, anyway...?)

WARNING!!! WAR OF THE FORUMS SPOILERS!!!!!


*breathes deeply*


Well, according to a comment made by Martin (aka: dratinihaunter13, represented by Sarutobi, the Third Hokage of the Naruto Series) while conversating with Brian (aka: mr_pikachu, represented by Shinji Ikari, of the Neon Genesis Evangelion saga) on the sixth panel of the second page of the famous comic known as War of the Forums, published on April 6, 2007 at 8:42PM says:


*breathes again*

"This from the guy who insist on posting in every single topic..."

Copyright ©2007 War of the Forums, a fic made by Brian(mr_pikachu) on the board Fanfiction on The Pokemasters Forums. All rights reserved.


*After hearing this, darktyranitar's brain explodes while trying to analyze every word said by shinypkmnchaser*

*insert any funny title here, Please!* whack

[Master of Paradox]

A cold wind blows, heralding the beginning of massive changes. As it blows across the land, a man rides on its crest. This man is the Master of Paradox.

Mr. Pikachu looks up from his keyboard, hearing the wind outside his window. As he opens it, his jaw drops.

Appropriate reaction, but bad timing - for he ends up swallowing about 10 feet of snow as the storm crashes into his house.

Winter in Minnesota Whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Master of Paradox, it is your turn.

"So you are the master of everything, eh Master of Paradox?" Inferno_Dragon asks.

"Yep, there is nothing I can't beat."

*The two TPM members are at an arcade. They are both drinking Root Beet Floats. Inferno_Dragon stares at Master of Paradox like he doesn't believe him.*

"Fine, then you won't matter if you compete in a round of DDR." Inferno_Dragon.

"DDR? That's easy. I could beat you on that game with eyes blindfolded." Master of Paradox says.

"Oh, I never said I was your competitor. The person that arrived just now is." Inferno_Dragon said pointing behind him.

"It can't be. How did you ... " Master of Paradox said in disbelief.

*Master of Paradox turned around to see a figure with red hair, a weird symbol on his forehead, eye shadows and what looked like a gourd on his back.*

"Yes, that is Gaara .... of the Funk.*Inferno_Dragon said with a smirk.

*colors flash around the room and then you hear the phrase "Gaara of the Funk." Master of Paradox is trying to back away but Gaara of the Funk rushes up to him.*

"Are you trying to chicken out? You said you would a compete in a round of DDR?" Gaara of the Funk said.

"Okay!" Master of Paradox said nerviously.

*A hour later, Master of Paradox is collapsed on the floor while Gaara is doing a small victory dance. Gaara of the Funk turns to Master of Paradox. You can see him smile.*

"Please leave me alone!" Master of Paradox says.

"You lost and you have to pay the price! Funk Coffin!"

*Sand starts to surround Master of Paradox. He is encased in the sand. With one gesture, Gaara of the Funk causes the sand coffin to collapse within itself and specks of blood fly everywhere. Both Gaara of the Funk both have umbrellas that appeared mysteriously.*

"Thanks!" Inferno_Dragon said.

"No problem! No I have to get back to hunting down and killing Sasuke." Gaara of the Funk said as he left the building.

Master of Paradox, you have been whacked by Gaara ... of the Funk.

*Lights flash and again you hear "Gaara of the Funk."*

(Yes, I used a character from Naruto the Abridged Series and yes, I only used the action whenever Gaara of the Funk's name is said. I think it only counts where it is said not as a description ... I hope.)

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Do you like Jackass, Master of Paradox? Well I must introduce you the DUDESONS! It's a Finnish gang with their TV series, own movie, some trademark clothes and everything.

*puts on a Dudesons cap reading 'isäntä' (Master) and starts throwing darts at Master of Paradox's stomach*

Komiat pärjää aina!
The handsome always make it! (bad translation)

[Master of Paradox]

There was a slight clicking noise behind where Darktyranitar was standing. He spun around, and then jumped back in shock to find Master of Paradox standing behind him, wearing a Hawaiian shirt for some reason.

"Isn't this the middle of January?" he asked.

"By my standards it's a warm day," Paradox replied. "Either way, I've come to give you a little gift."

"No. Gifts from you always have strings attached. Go away."

The man with the mustache and Hawaiian shirt frowned, pushing his glasses up. "It's not that bad..."

Darktyranitar attempted to step back, only to bump into a giant metal orb. "What's that?" he asked.

"That would be my Devil's Machine. All I have to do is open it, and you'll be the wielder of the ultimate evil power. Sound good?"

There was a pause, and then Darktyranitar muttered, "The catch?"

"Nothing, I assure you. In fact, I'm going to give you the gift now."

Before Darktyranitar could protest, Master of Paradox snapped his fingers. The orb pulled open, and a wave of black energy poured over them...

When it faded, no human mind could have comprehended Darktyranitar's form. He groaned in senseless pain, eyes unblinking.

"It happens every time," Master of Paradox said, sighing. "Your mind was erased by the power. Why can't anyone ever control it?"

All Darktyranitar could do was groan, "M...O...P... It... h... u... r... t... s..."

Earthbound Whacked.

[Shadow Wolf]

After dealing with MoP, Inferno plans to destroy Louis the same way, by having aid from Gaara of the Funk.

As Gaara of the Funk tries to attack shinypkmnchaser, a voice is heard from somewhere.

"Saikō Zettai Bōgyo: Shukaku no Tatte"

Gaara of the Funk quickly looks around, as if trying to find the source of the voice. Unable to find it, and with no understanding of what has just been said, Gaara of the Funk ignores the voice, but when he turn to shinypkmnchaser, he notices that a toy-like replica of the legendary monster, Shukaku, is being used as a shield to protect shinypkmnchaser, and on the top of the replica, a figure similar to Gaara of the Funk is standing while staring angrily at him.

The figure makes some hand seals and says:

"Ryūsa Bakuryū"

After completing the seals, a huge sand waterfall rises and takes down Gaara of the Funk.

"It can't be" - Gaara of the Funk says as he is covered by the sand waterfall.

The guy standing in the Shukaku replica jumps off the replica and after landing, he slams both hands palm down into the sand, creating powerful shockwaves that compress the sand, destroying Gaara of the Funk.

Inferno_Dragon and shinypkmnchaser remain in awe as they watch the mysterious guy destroy Gaara of the Funk. After doing this, the guy dissolves the replica of the Shukaku and uses the sand with the hardest minerals on the ground to create a weird-shaped spear.

"Saikō Zettai Hōgeki; Shukaku no Hōkō"

The guy launches the spear at Inferno_Dragon, killing him easily.

"So, you must be the real one, right?" - shinypkmnchaser says. The guy does not say a thing and walks away.

"Wait! If he was a fake, then what's your real name?" - Louis asks.

"Sabaku no Gaara" -The guy answers and keeps walking.

"Gaara of the Desert" - shinypkmnchaser thinks as Gaara disappears in the distance


Whacked by the real Gaara.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Mikachu Yukitatsu, it is your turn.

*Mikachu Yukitatsu is sitting in a park eating a hot dog. It is a full moon tonight and Mikachu Yukitatsu hasn't a care in the world.*

"Boy, the moon looks bright tonight." Mikachu Yukitatsu says.

*Suddenly, Mikachu Yukitatsu hears some chanting but ignores it. He looks at the moon and it looks different. The moon now looks like it has a face.*

"Strange, where have I seen that moon before?" Mikachu Yukitatsu asked.

"I tell you where, the worst Zelda game out there." A voice says.

*Mikachu Yukitatsu turns around to face Inferno_Dragon with his armed crossed and a angry grin on his face.*

"What is wrong, Inferno Dragon?" Mikachu Yukitatsu asked.

"What is wrong? WHAT IS WRONG? For my birthday, you gave me stuff from Majorca's Mask. I never liked that game. The whole 3 day thing made it challenging but terribly annoying. And you had to get me stuff to remind me how I bad that game was." Inferno_Dragon growled.

"Come on, Phantom Hourglass wasn't that great either. That temple where your life force was being sucked out was great either." Mikachu Yukitatsu said.

"Yeah, but that was only one temple, not the whole game. So you shall pay dearly, Mikachu Yukitatsu." Inferno said with a grin.

"What are you going to do?" Mikachu Yukitatsu said while shaking.

*Inferno_Dragon points at the moon and starts chanting. The moon starts coming down at a rapid pace. Inferno_Dragon hovers up to the air high just seconds before the moon landed on Mikachu Yukitatsu.

"That should teach you a lesson." Inferno_Dragon said while floating off.

Mikachu Yukitatsu, you just got whacked by the moon from Majorca's Mask. (And yes, I don't like Majorca's Mask. It probably had good challenges but the whole 3 days thing before the world is destroyed so game over really made not like that game very much.)

[Master of Paradox]

In his hidden lair, at the center of the earth, the Master of Paradox checks his list. All of the names are checked at least once. He smiles, pulling a nearby lever.

0000000

After a splitting headache, Blademaster gets to his feet, swaying in confusion. He was standing in his house just a few seconds ago, but now he's in a dimly lit cavern, the walls made of light blue stone.

At the center of the room sits a statue of a man with a bird's head, body covered in ridges. It is seated, knees drawn up, and holds a glowing orb in its outstretched hands.

"Oh, no you don't," Blademaster says as he approaches the statue. "We've already discussed this. I know exactly what you're up to here." He reaches out, slides his hands around the orb, and lifts it off of the statue's hands without breaking it.

The statue does not move.

"Dumbass," Blademaster mutters as he approaches the door. He taps it with his knuckles, but the door remains shut. He then notices that it's a dull gray.

He blinks, and then sighs before saying, "Crap. This is one of those things where you have to trigger the fight and win before you can leave, isn't it?"

"Yep," Master of Paradox says over a loudspeaker.

There is a long pause.

"Crap."

Blademaster then breaks the orb, and a glowing gun barrel appears around his arm. Five notes of music play in the air...

And the statue's eyes glow before it rises to his feet.

The screaming starts shortly thereafter.

Chozo Whacked.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

"Saikō Zettai Bōgyo: Shukaku no Tatte"

Konnichiwa!

Eigo de nan desu ka?

Minna wo WHACK shitai da kara, kimi wa ware no tsugi no aite desu.

Watashi wa shinypkmnchaser wo WHACK shimasu!

Bad Japanese for:

Good day!

What's that in English?

Because I want to whack everyone, you are my next opponent.

I whack shinypkmnchaser!

[Inferno_Dragon]

mr_pikachu, you are next.

*mr_pikachu is sitting on the couch when the doorbell rings. He gets up to answer and there is a delivery man at the door with a package. After signing it and telling the delivery man to have a good day, he goes inside to see what he got.

"Hmmmm ... this is from Inferno_Dragon. It is probably a trap but I am very careful." mr_pikachu says.

*mr_pikachu opens the package and digs through the styrofoam peanuts to reveal a lap, like Aladdin's lamp. Curious why Inferno_Dragon would send him a lamp, mr_pikachu rubs the lamp three times. A genie appears out and smiles at mr_pikachu. It isn't Inferno_Dragon so mr_pikachu isn't worried.*

"I am the genie of the lamp and I am here to grant you three wishes." He says.

"You aren't going to twist any of the wishes I make, right?" mr_pikachu asks.

"Do I look like that kind of genie? No, I will simply give you what you want." The genie explains.

"Okay, for my first wish, I wish to be the ruler of TPM." mr_pikachu says.

"Done. Look at outside." The genie says.

*mr_pikachu sees all the members of TPM bowing outside of his window. mr_pikachu chuckles.*

"My next wish ... I wish to have a million dollars." mr_pikachu says.

"Done." The genie says.

*Suddenly, a million dollars fill the room. mr_pikachu is diving in the money and throwing it everywhere.*

"Finally, I wish for the best sandwich out there." mr_pikachu says.

"Done." The genie says.

*Out of nowhere, a plate appears with the most tantalizing, delicious sandwich out there. mr_pikachu grabs the plate and starts to drool.*

"I can't wait to eat it." mr_pikachu says.

"But you won't." The genie says.

"I am a different type of genie. Once my master grants three wishes, I go free but another has to take my place. That other is you." The genie grins.

"Wait a minute, I didn't agree to ... " mr_pikachu tries to explain but it is too late.

*The lamp sucks mr_pikachu into the lamp. The genie smiles and looks at all the money. Suddenly Inferno_Dragon steps into the house.*

"So did it go as I planned it go?" Inferno_Dragon asked.

"Yep, he is now the prisoner of the lamp. Want it?" The genie asks.

"No thanks. You already granted me limitless wishes from saving you from being destroyed by that Aladdin fellow." Inferno_Dragon says.

"Yes, I think I will find a way to get my revenge on him. Have a good day." Jafar said.

"Enjoy that sandwich." Inferno_Dragon said.

"I will. It should be the best. I made it so." Jafar said.

mr_pikachu, you just got whacked by Jafar the genie and his lamp.

[Shadow Wolf]

[i]

1-"Saikō Zettai Bōgyo: Shukaku no Tatte"


2-"Ryūsa Bakuryū"


3-"Saikō Zettai Hōgeki; Shukaku no Hōkō"


4-"Sabaku no Gaara"

[b]Konnichiwa!

Eigo de nan desu ka?

Bad Japanese for:

Good day!

What's that in English?

1-Ultimate Absolute Defense: Shield Of Shukaku

2- Quicksand in the style of a Waterfall

Gaara follows it with a Sabaku Taisō (Desert Imperial Funeral)

3-Ultimate Absolute Attack: Shukaku's Halberd

4-Gaara of the Desert (altough Sabaku with capital S means Sand Waterfall, thus the name would be Gaara of the Sand Waterfall)





...and now



shinypkmnchaser pulls out a strange gold and black hammer called the "Dragon Flame" and whacks CEB with it. After squashing CEB with it, the hammer disappears.

"That hammer its almost impossible to get, so I only get to dream with it. And I'm just at eighteen *cries* "

Shiny walks away rambling about a famous MMO beause of its difficulty to level up.

Maple whack.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

"It has moved."

Mikachu Yukitatsu rises his hands. He is holding a small instrument. He points at Blademaster, as if he was threatening him with a gun.

"Soil is my power! Kannel is here!" Says Mikachu.

"Kannel must be that harp-like instrument there." thinks Blademaster. "But it's not like 'Magun' or anything from Final Fantasy Unlimited."

Meanwhile, Mikachu starts putting...some bullet-like things inside the instrument.

"The soil to use against you has been decided.
The color of my third big love's hair: RED!
The color of the cross in my country's flag: BLUE!
The color of...OK, I am not good at inventing these...anyway, YELLOW!" claims Mikachu.

He plays the kannel.

"I summon you! Magikarp!" shouts Mikachu.

"Since when is Magikarp a summon monster?" wonders Blademaster.

"Hm, to make it clearer, I say I summoned Magikarp for you to use." clarifies Mikachu. "You get a fresh start since it's on level 1 and knows only Splash! Now I can call MY Pokémon! GO! Venusaur! Razor Leaf!"

"Hey...Pokémon aren't supposed to attack humans..." cries Blademaster while he is torn by Razor Leaf.

Blademaster, FFU/Kalevala/RBY-whacked.

[Master of Paradox]

The air turns dark around Mikachu Yukitatsu as he finishes his borrowing from the epic and sets down his harp. He turns around, narrowing his eyes as he tries to make out the figure walking through the storm.

It is Master of Paradox, wearing a surprisingly colorful robe and carrying a staff on one shoulder. He smirks as he stands a few yards from Mikachu, raising a hand in greeting.

"So you too have the power of summoning, eh?" the man with the mustache says.

"Yes... at least when it suits me. Why are you here?"

Taking the staff from his shoulder, the Master of Paradox explains, "I wished to test my power before I use it in an... upcoming affray. Now, if you could stand still, please..."

Dots of glowing dust whirl in the air around Paradox as he spins his staff before him, quietly singing,

"Ie e yu e
No bo me no
Re en mi ri
Yo ju yo go
Ha sa te ka na e
Ku ta ma e"

At that point, Mikachu begins to back away, but it's already too late.

A flash of lightning fills the air, and the Master of Paradox raises his staff overhead. From its tip launches a beam of black light, cutting into the air. He moves the staff, slicing a thin line into the sky, and then hurls his staff straight up. It flies true, hitting the line and turning onto its side. A hole expands into the sky, and the staff falls back into his waiting grasp.

There is a rumble, and then a massive chain shoots down from the hole in the sky, a barbed hook on its end. This chain smashes into the ground, burrowing through earth and rock as though it were sand. It digs deeper and deeper... and then stops, going taut as though it has hit something.

The chain begins to pull back, straining under a mighty weight. Soon it pulls forth what it has caught. It has caught an abomination - a gigantic, bloated monstrosity, screaming in eternal pain. Its head is like that of a fish, with a line of feathers along the crest, and its horrid body is concealed by two fleshy wings, drawn over its mass. Two spindly arms are chained against its chest, and its eyes are a dead white.

As the chain fades, the creature settles into place, roaring hatred as it stares down at Mikachu.

Raising his staff, the Master of Paradox yells, "Anima, do my bidding! Unleash the power of Oblivion!"

The tortured soul does not have any objections. It roars again, and a beam of white-hot fury lances from its eye, burning away the ground under Mikachu's feet. He plummets...

...and then floats in a nightmarish, surreal cavern, staring directly at something even worse than Anima. It is a giant, withered corpse that still lives, joined at the waist to the monster above, with curling horns on its head and equally chained hands. As Mikachu watches, the loathsome thing pulls on the chains, and they splinter into metal fragments before shattering.

Hands free, the creature has all the time in the world to unleash its wrath on its new victim. It pulls its gnarled fists back, and delivers a furious rain of blows to Mikachu. The first hit renders him unconscious, but even in that state he still feels a shock of pain from each hit of those giant hands.

It could go on forever, but Anima is not done. The beast raises its head and hands, invoking a power born from eons of pain and hate. Energy swirls around it like a dome, and it roars in triumph as the power bursts forth.

The explosion shakes the earth at its very core, cracking the surface and sending beams of light into the sky. The entire time, the Master of Paradox merely smiles.

Overdrive Whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

shinypkmnmaster, it is your turn.

"Here is your whack." Inferno_Dragon says to Louis.

"You gave me a piece of paper that says WHACKED! Are you running out of creative juice, Inferno_Dragon?" says.

"No, read the paper closely." Inferno_Dragon says.

"Read the paper closely, he says. Okay, I will ... wait, it can't be ... this is not possible. How do you know this?" shinypkmnmaster says.

"I am psychic." Inferno_Dragon says.

"I don't believe this. You are just trying to trick me." shinypkmnmaster says as he walks away.

"Three, two, one ... and it should be ... " Inferno_Dragon says but turns his head to watch the action.,

*shinypkmnmaster is walking across a plain road. He turns back to see Inferno_Dragon. Get hit by a bus, yeah right, shinypkmnmaster thinks. The moment I drop my guard he will come at me with some whack that I wont ... *

SMACK!!!!!!!!!!

"Did we hit someone?" A passenger inside the green bus asks.

"Who cares? We just need to get rid of that amusement park." The other says.

"Whose bright idea was it to go inside a place called Horrorland?" Another person says.

"I knew we should have gone to Zoo Gardens. Let's get out of here." The last passenger says as the bus drives off.

"I told him that he was going to hit by a bus but he didn't believe me. Maybe if I should him the picture I took of him earlier?" Inferno_Dragon says.

*Inferno_Dragon pulls out a picture showing shinypkmnmaster get hit by a green Horrorland bus. Inferno_Dragon also pulls out the camera that took the picture.*

"Maybe I should return this thing. I don't need and I don't trust it but at least I know that this thing really works." Inferno_Dragon says while he starts to heads down the road.

shinypkmnmaster, you have been whacked by R.L. Stine's Goosebumps. (You have got to love that camera from "Say Cheese and Die.")

[mr_pikachu]

Oh, Inferno...

*slices throat with trio of CDs*

Enjoy your final fantasy.

Game-that-originated-in-Japan-(no-really-it-did!)-whacked.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

*Picks up a large blade razor and slashes Mr_pikachu with it*

haha I can't come up with anything witty to say after that whacked

[Master of Paradox]

(Author's note: the following whack means no offense to Crazy Elf Boy. It's just that I got Justice For All yesterday and, well...)

*Picks up a large blade razor and slashes Mr_pikachu with it*

haha I can't come up with anything witty to say after that whacked

"HOLD IT!"

The camera pans quickly over to a man in a blue suit, his hair in a style that can only be called "hedgehog-like". He pounds his hands on the wall in front of him.

"The point of Whack-a-TPMer is to perform these 'whacks' in as entertaining a manner, isn't it?" he asks.

Clutching the front of his shirt nervously, Crazy Elf Boy, in the witness stand, mutters, "Well... I guess..."

Pointing his finger, the man in blue shouts, "Then what excuse do you have for a lazy whack like-"

"OBJECTION!"

The camera whips over to a balding, nervous man in a gray suit, his glasses high on his nose.

"That's not the point of this game at all!" the nervous man yells in a rather high-pitched voice. "The point is just to 'whack' as many players as possible! Didn't you read the rules?"

Above both men, the judge nods. "I seem to recall reading that myself..."

As he adjusts his glasses, the balding man smirks, moving to tap the top of his head afterwards. A smug tone enters his voice as he adds, "Besides, creativity is hardly a hallmark of this game. Mr. Crazy Elf Boy can't be faulted for just going with the flow..."

The man with the hedgehog haircut steps back, beginning to sweat profusely. Dang it. He's got me on that one... How am I supposed to get out of it?

The camera moves to the man's other side, where a young woman in a medium's outfit taps his shoulder. "Nick," she whispers, "think about it. He's leaving out a very important fact..."

What is she referring to... Wait. WAIT!

"OBJECTION!" Phoenix yells, pointing dramatically at his opponent. "I refer you to some of the whacks put up by Blademaster and Shinypkmnchaser! Those things are practically little fanfics in themselves!"

The balding man lets out a yell and jumps backwards as though someone just slapped him.

Crazy Elf Boy winces as well, recoiling.

"The rules don't say you have to be elaborate," Phoenix continues, hands on his hips, "but nobody is going to complain if you are. By now we appreciate a little extra thought put into our whacks. If you're going to take the time to whack somebody..."

He leans in, and the camera does a close-up on his face, speed lines rushing past it.

"Then get creative!"

Crazy Elf Boy swallows hard, and then his eyes roll back in his head before he passes out.

The judge blinks,and then mutters, "Well, I think that settles this case..." He brings his gavel down.

Phoenix Whacked, Ace Attorney.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Master of Paradox, you are next ... by the way nice whack. Haven't played the games but I hear they are quite interesting.

*Master of Paradox walks into a empty warehouse. It is so silent that you could probably hear a pin drop. Suddenly, there is the sound of a pin dropping.*

"Well, that myth is plausible."

"What myth? You just wanted to drop it in a quite room.""

"Oh sure ruin my fun."

*Master of Paradox turns around to see Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman. They are walking over towards him. Why they are here in the first place, who knows?*

"I know you two. You do that show on Discovery Channel .. what was it called? Oh yeah Mythbusters. You two must enjoy your work." Master of Paradox says.

"Yeah, we do." Adam says.

"If we are going to bust a myth, then we have to bust it in style. And we might get to explode something." Jamie says.

"So what are you doing here? Are you testing out a myth?" Master of Paradox asked.

"Yes, we are. We are testing the myth on how quick it takes to whack someone." Adam says.

"Wait a minute that's not a myth." Master of Paradox says.

"Well, according to the books, it is. So how shall we do? They are various methods." Jamie says.

"Wait a minute, aren't you going to test this myth on Buster?" Master of Paradox asks trying to draw the attention away from him.

"But that wouldn't follow the rules," Adam says, "wait a minute, I got it."

*Adam presses a button and a giant battering ram gets shot out the wall straight towards Master of Paradox. You hear a bone-crunching sound as Master of Paradox is rammed into the wall.*

"So what is our time?" Jamie asks.

"We are off by a second. So is this myth plausible?" Adam asks.

"Sure, it is. But we aren't done yet." Jamie says as they stepped out of the building.

*Jamie and Adam get far away from the building. Master of Paradox is trying to get up but he can't move. Jamie pulls out a device and presses a red button. Suddenly the building explodes which was caused by enough TNT to blow a small town.*

"Now the myth is plausible. It is always nice when we get to blow something up." Jamie says.

"Indeed. So let's celebrate this victory over a couple of smoothies." Adam says as the two walk to a nearby smoothie shop.

Master of Paradox, you have been whacked by the Mythbusters.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

A huge square block, about 20 meters tall, 5 meters thick, made of steel, appears in front of Inferno_Dragon.

The block has a familiar Chinese character, which we can divide in two parts. Below is the 'clothing' part, which comes from a picture of collar and sleeves, while above is the 'dragon' part, which comes from a picture of a creature with four legs, long tail, pointed nose and large ears. The head was later replaced (it is not clear whether deliberately or in error) by the 'needle' part, and the legs by the 'flesh' part. The 'dragon' part is used here phonetically to express 'fold'. The character originally referred to a type of burial garment with the collar folded over (in a special way), the folding having a certain religious significance. It still retains this meaning in Chinese, and in Japanese is very occasionally used in the associated sense of wearing double layers of clothing. It is not clear why such a complex character was chosen as a phonetic. The idea of religious ritual led to ritual and convention in a board sense, and eventually to the inheriting (something from the past). Attack stems form confusion with a now defunct character which combines the 'clothing' part with the 'grasp' part, the earlier form of which shows shackles and a kneeling person with outstreched hands.

Its Mandarin Chinese reading is xi2, Cantonese jaap6, Japanese ON-reading SHUU, and Japanese kun oso(u). It is used in compounds such as SHUURAI 'invasion', KYUUSHUU 'air raid' and SESHUU 'heredity'.

And this block falls over Inferno_Dragon, crushing him.

Inferno_Dragon, A Guide To Remembering Japanese Characters/Chinese Character Dictionary - whacked.

[Master of Paradox]

Smoke rising from his clothes, Master of Paradox rubs his eyes, groaning as he stumbles back into the lever room. Setting a foot against the console, he takes hold of a handle and gives it a good yank, starting an engine very far away...

0000000

Inferno Dragon wakes up in a darkened room, holding his head as he gets to his feet. He looks around, trying to figure out where the game has taken him now.

The lights slowly come up, revealing that he is standing in the heart of a wrestling ring. A crowd of unruly, tough-looking people are standing around the ring, waving weapons and shouting incoherently, volume beating content. The rest of the ring except for the area directly around Inferno Dragon is shadowy still.

A blur comes down from the ceiling, and then the Master of Paradox is crouched on the ropes, grinning in that psychotic manner he does so oftne. "Welcome to the Mad Gears Secret Arena!" he says, one hand on the ropes to keep him balanced.

"The what?" Inferno Dragon mutters, raising an eyebrow.

Holding up his other hand, the master continues, "Tonight you're going to be the chief entertainment for the Mad Gears gang over there. Tonight, it'll be you and an opponent of your choice in the center of this ring, fighting to the death."

Sweat beads on Inferno Dragon's head.

"Now, you have two options..."

The lights come up on the left side of the ring, showing a mountain of a man, seven feet tall and with muscles like tow cables. He wears a pink wifebeater and jeans, but somehow that doesn't seem laughable. He has an almost ridiculous amount of black hair, and does squats as he holds onto the ring ropes.

"That would be your first choice, Mr. Hugo Andore," Master of Paradox says. He then gestures to his other side. "Or..."

The lights on the left side of the ring come up, revealing that the other challenger is sitting against the turnbuckle. He wears sleeveless orange samurai armor, blue leggings, and a blue mask of a scowling face attached to his kabuto. Two katana rest on his hips as he looks up, arms crossed.

"That is your other choice, Sodom." Master of Paradox turns to Infero Dragon, grinning. "Pick."

Infero Dragon looks from one to the other, realizing there's no way this will end well.

That night, his corpse is tossed into a dumpster outside the arena.

Whacked Final Fight style.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Mikachu Yukitatsu, it is your turn.

*Mikachu Yukitatsu stepped out of his house to get the newspaper. He opens it to read his horoscope. It reads you will soon be meet a powerful opponent .... the rest of the horoscope is missing though.

"I guess I will win this one. It didn't say that I would lose." Mikachu Yukitatsu says.

"Your overconfidence is your weakness ... "

"I know the ending to this quote ... and your faith is your friend is yours." Mikachu Yukitatsu says.

"That is true. Time to meet your death."

*Mikachu Yukitatsu turns around to see Darth Maul, Darth Vader, Boba Fett, Jango Fett, and Count Doku all facing him.*

"Wait a minute, the horoscope said I would face only one opponent." Mikachu Yukitatsu said in a panic.

"We just rigged that up to make you feel like you could defeat anybody." Count Doku said.

"And the ending of the horoscope." Mikachu Yukitatsu says.

"Death is imminent." Darth Maul says.

*All of them rush at Mikachu Yukitatsu with either Lightsabers and Blasters in their hands. The sounds of lightsabers bashing against Mikachu Yukitatsu's body was heard from all corners of the earth. Finally, the group left Mikachu Yukitatsu battered and beaten.*

Mikachu Yukitatsu, you have been Star Wars Whacked.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

mr_pikachu has gone out shopping. He has found a good pencil from the stationery department. As he walks towards the cash desk, he is delighted to notice that there is almost no queue at all. Only a black-haired man, about in his early twenties, wearing sweatsuit and glasses, is standing in front of the cash desk with his shopping cart.

As mr_pikachu gets closer, he notices that the cart is full of stuff. The mysterious man begins to place them on the line. He places 5 cartons of milk and the salesperson takes the bar code.

"I like all kinds of milk, did you know?" says the man.

"This one has lots of fibre." says the man as he hands a bread.

"I hate cereals so I make porrige from these grits." says the man, giving the packet.

"Sweets are very cheap here." the man tells while placing them on the line.

The man is also going to buy some tomatoes. "Hey, these ones do not have a bar code!" notices the salesperson. "I'm sorry, I must make a phone call."

Meanwhile, mr_pikachu is losing his patience. "Hurry, please!" he proposes.

The mysterious man ignores and continues chatting with the salesperson who still is on the telephone. "I buy lots of stuff because I don't want to go shopping every day. My busy hobbies include internet, where I go to a forum named TPM. I run a whacking game there."

Then mr_pikachu noitices that this man must be noone other than Mikachu Yukitatsu! "Hi, Mikachu!" he greets.

"Hello mr_pikachu." says Mikachu, takes off the rest of the shopping and lifts the empty cart! He hits mr_pikachu several times with it. mr_pikachu falls on the floor and Mikachu keeps hitting him. Mikachu hits mr_pikachu at least 30 times with his shopping cart, causing lots of broken bones.

mr_pikachu, cash desk queue-whacked.

[Shadow Wolf]

In a vast whole new universe, unknown to mankind, two warriors were battling on what it could be call: "The battle of the finest"

Two mega superstars were giving their all to prove their might in TPMs Whack-a-TPMer kingdom.

The first warrior was a Elite among all people living in TPMs kingdom. Being a popular guy, knowing what to say, when to say it, where to say it, how to say it, and even say it right, he's the favorite all around member. Holding his sword he's an almost unstoppable force around TPM. The Popular smartest, coolest, sexiest man alive (apparently), The Blademaster.

The second warrior is known by very few people, since he focus on one special part of TPM's kingdom. Having nothing to lose, but everything to win, he holds no fear in this one of a lifetime battle. Having the ability to be unpredictable, since he's known by very few people, he can unleash a flurry of tricks that his opponent can't predict. With a club in hand the rookie warrior gives his all. The lame-o, game-o, for fame-o, shinypkmnchaser.

The battle is arguably favoring Blademaster, as his experience is remarkable and he knows many opponent's weak points. Blade launches shiny up high, making him crash against the "THE POKEMASTERS" main title crystal monument. Blade follows by a sword combo and finishes the combo with a power strike, making shiny go way down into the archives building.

Blade wonders how much is shiny going to last, since he has been flattened, rolled up and tossed aside for more than 17 hours of pure intensity, and he can still stand up.

He decides to finish the fight with his special, the fire-blade, fire-ball ultimate strike. He gathers all his energy into his blade, creating a hell fire that can melt anything. The fire goes to the tip of the blade, creating a fire ball similar to the sun.

"Ultimate level infinity flaming blast."

He launches the fire ball, and the hell sphere goes down slowly, melting the advance generation floating island, the classic generation onyx stadium, the other pokemon games moving fortress, the TCG spiral tower, and the video games inverted pyramid.

as it goes down, shiny thinks:

"It seems I have no other choice"

The fire sphere burns away the PAAM classic marble dome.

"I must use the forbidden pill"

It melts away the OAAM mirror dungeon

"That way, I will use full power of my SPKMN club..."

The ASB giant fourth-dimension tritower is melted to dust.

"...and the arsenal of chaser gadgets."

The virtual plasma Fanfiction's skyscraper is reduced to nothing.

"But it is certain..."

The fanart's hand-made jewel factory melts and falls into the ground.

"...that the faith that awaits me..."

The OPG origami peridot grand building is shattered to ashes.

" ...is the fact that I will be banned of the forum!"

The RPG's shape-change fantasy city is turned into black powder.

"But there is no other choice."

As the PCG's diamond skytower slowly melts away, shiny makes a few movements, lifts his club, speaks a few gibberish words and the club trnsforms itself into waterforce field, surrounding him.

The waterforce turns into a rising water tornado, consuming the hellish fireball and heading directly towards Blademaster. The water releases a flash of shiny light drops, blinding Blademaster, and the water turns into a devastating triple-edge, level infinity whirlpool.

The Admin gods of TPM universe are warned of the dangerous situation that has been unleashed in their world and they don't hesitate in taking action. In less than .000000000000000000001 seconds, they find the forbidden power main source and proceed to eradicate it.

And as the three main gods on the TPM's universe take away shinypkmnchaser, Blademaster is destroyed by an ultimate bump, explict stupid pontless annoying water whirl tsunami.

TPM whack!

[Mystic_clown]

A slow clapping could be heard as the place clears after Loius' latest whack. The TPMer in question turns to see a young man wearing a purple and gold jester's hat.

"Not a bad whack there," the young man says lazily. Loius stares at him before recognising him.

"Mystic_clown? when did you get here?"

"Just a few minutes ago. Anyway, I saw your whack. Here."

Mystic tosses Lious what appears to be a candy of some sort.

"Just a reward of sorts for that whack."

Lious eyes the candy before eating it.

"Tasty," he remarks cheerfully. Mystic chuckles.

"Oh, but the biggest surprise is still to come."

Loius starts to feel a strange sensation in his belly. He's shocked to find that he's inflating.

"What the heck!?"

"That 'candy'," Mystic explained, "was really concerntrated amounts of helium, enough to inflate you to...well...let's see."

Loius continues to inflate until he's pretty much a ball with a head, hands and feet attached.

"Now, what to do with you?" Mystic taps his chin thoughtfully. He snapped his fingers.

"I've got it!"

--------------~*~--------------

"Hey guys!"

Everyone at the beach turned around to see Mystic, holding the inflated and now very light Loius over his head.

"Who's up for some volleyball?"

Inflato-whack!

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Sports News:

New Jersey Devils's Patrik Elias managed to pass the Calgary goalkeeper Mikachu Yukitatsu during the first minute of the overtime, when Devils got a 1-0 win from Calgary Flames.

Yukitatsu, who was elected one of the stars of the game, saved 21 times in the game. Devils goalkeeper Martin Brodeur, who was marked in the stars of the game as well, needed 30 saves to his 95th zero game.

However, another source tells that Mikachu wasn't happy when a reporter named Mystic_clown asked him to comment on the goal. MY whacked the reporter with an ice hockey stick!

Mystic_clown, NHL-whacked.

[Master of Paradox]

After noticing Mystic Clown's arrival, the Master of Paradox smiles and writes a new name into the list he keeps on hand. He then sticks a new lever into the wall, pulling it.

0000000

When the vertigo of teleportation wears off, Mystic Clown finds himself in a small, dark room with film equipment everywhere. Most notably, a large pile of film canisters dots the center of the room. He begins to get nervous, and rightfully so.

A trumpet blares, and the canisters go flying as the Master of Paradox shoots out of them. He wears a lime-green, hooded robe, and a maniacal grin is crossing his face. With a wave of his hand, he sends intentionally-cheesy sparkles everywhere... and then he starts singing.

"I am the Wizard of Speed and Time"

As he sings, he gestures everywhere, causing the sparkles to shoot into lamps and camera tripods. The lamps turn on, and the tripods begin to dance in marvellously cheesy stop-motion style.

"The word of film is where I shine!
I've got magic to let you see
Just where you were and what to be
On imagination's silver screen!"

A clipboard animates, and as Mystic Clown is enthralled by this truly... unusual experience, it sneaks up behind him.

"I can help you find your dream
Dream
Dream
Dream
Dream..."

The clipboard snaps on Mystic Clown's ankles, and as Master of Paradox twirls at the center of the room, the tripods stampede over their latest victim.

Whacked of Speed and Time.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Master of Paradox, you are next. I will whack Mystic Clown later.

*Master of Paradox is sitting on a bench eating a snow cone when he hears a noise. He turns around and sees Inferno_Dragon standing there with a grin on his face.*

"You scared me, Inferno_Dragon. What are you doing here?" Master of Paradox asked.

"I am going to whack you, Alien Style." Inferno_Dragon said.

"I have seen the movies ... and there is nothing that you can do to surprise me." Master of Paradox said with a smile.

"You underestimate me, Master of Paradox. I wasn't talking about the Alien Movies, I was talking about these Aliens." Inferno Dragon said.

*Inferno_Dragon pulled off his coat to reveal ... the Omnitrix on his arm. Master of Paradox was in shock.*

"How did you get a hold of that?" Master of Paradox asked.

"If you know the right people ... " Inferno_Dragon said.

*Inferno_Dragon slams down on the Omnitrix and turns into Diamondhead. As Diamonhead, he fires a barrage of crystals at Master of Paradox. Then he switches to Fourarms. He uses Fourarms' strength to piledriver Master of Paradox into the ground. Then Inferno_Dragon turns into Ghostfreak which he uses to scare Master of Paradox out of his wits. Then Inferno_Dragon turns into Grey Matter which creates a energy weapon to fire at Master of Paradox.*

"How are you switching between alien forms? Ben couldn't do that, well young Ben couldn't." Master of Paradox said.

"Like I said, if you know the right people ... " Inferno_Dragon said while continuing his assault.

*Inferno_Dragon turns into Heatblast, which he uses to charbroil Master of Paradox. Using a transporter spell, he teleports both of them into the ocean which he then becomes Ripjaws to bash into Master of Paradox several times. Teleporting them back onto land, he transforms into Stinkfly which he sprays Master of Paradox with its sticky goo. Then he transforms into Upgrade which he takes control of a wrecking ball to slam it into Master of Paradox.*

"How many aliens are on there?" Master of Paradox said while still trying to survive.

"Who knows? But I am using everyone to take you down. To be lenient, I am giving you small breaks but it won't last long before I use my final alien." Inferno_Dragon said with another smile.

*Inferno_Dragon transforms into Wildmutt which he uses it to run Master of Paradox over several times. Then he transforms into XLR8 which he speeds circles around Master of Paradox slashing him with its sharp claws. He then transforms into Benmummy which he uses the wraps to swing Master of Paradox around and around and around. Inferno_Dragon lets Master of Paradox down so he can watch Master of Paradox throw up. Inferno_Dragon then transforms into Benvictor which he fires off a stream of lightning energy right at Master of Paradox. Then he turns into Eon.

"How can you turn into Eon. No even Ben ... let me guess. If you know the right people ... " Master of Paradox said.

"Now you are catching on." Inferno_Dragon says.

*He uses Eon's powers to pummel Master of Paradox in any direction. Then Inferno_Dragon transforms into Benwolf which he uses his wolf to shatter a cliff (why there is a cliff I don't know) to cause rocks to fall on him. Inferno_Dragon turns into Cannonbolt which uses Master of Paradox as a game of bowling as he rapidly bowls him over. Then Inferno_Dragon transforms into Ditto which he multiples himself many times. Then the many Inferno_Dragons play a game of dodgeball using Master of Paradox as the target. After forming backing to one entity, he transforms into Eye Guy which fires rapid energy beams at Master of Paradox.*

"Are we almost done?" Master of Paradox asks while struggling to breathe.

"Boy, you are taking the fun out of this, you know that?" Inferno_Dragon said with a shrug.

*Inferno_Dragon then transforms into Upchuck which he swallows into an entire tank. He then fires a giant ball of liquid fire at Master of Paradox. Then he transforms into Wildvine which he uses the vines to scratch Master of Paradox and the plant bombs to scar him. Finally, Inferno_Dragon takes a breather and grims. With one transformation, he turns into Way Big. He picks up a building and slams down on Master of Paradox. He then transforms into XLR8 to find Ben Tennyson. Meanwhile in a park, Ben and family are having a picnic when Inferno_Dragon shows up.*

"Thank you for allowing me to borrow the omnitrix, Ben."

"No problem. Don't worry, Inferno_Dragon said he needed into take down a powerful threat." Ben said.

"Then why didn't you do it?" Gwen asked with an uneven tone.

"Because I wanted a day without going hero. I might play tricks with it but I don't need to use it every single second of my life." Ben said.

"Well, that does make sense. Did you defeat this evil, Inferno_Dragon?" Max asked.

"He won't be harming anybody for a long time" Inferno_Dragon said, "well I have to be off somewhere. I hope to see you again."

*Inferno_Dragon rushed off from the campsite to press a button. A second Omnitrix appeared on his arm. Inferno_Dragon pressed a button to transform into XLR8.

"When you know the right people, anything is possible." Inferno_Dragon says.

*He then speeds off into the horizon.*

Master of Paradox, you have been whacked by every single alien in the Omnitrix (with the exception of the one Ben 10,000 uses. Otherwise this whack would be way too long.)

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Mikachu Yukitatsu has partly paid Crazy Elf Boy a trip to Finland. After having met at Helsinki ariport, they took a train and reached Ylivieska. Now they are in Mikachu's place.

"How about an old PSX game?" asks Mikachu. "I have V-RALLY."

"OK, let's try." replies CEB.

Mikachu switches on his Playstation 3. He inserts the game.

"I don't know if you have played this, but there shouldn't be a Finland track in this version. However, for some odd reason, the track suddenly appeared when I was playing yesterday." Mikachu tells.

The race begins. Mikachu's Peugeuot faces CEB's Renault. The track starts with an easy curve.

EASY LEFT!

Mikachu's car almost goes into a ditch, whereas CEB manages quite well.

EASY RIGHT!

Mikachu's car is hit by a CPU car. Hardly, Mikachu keeps the car on course. CEB gets a little more lead and takes the second place.

MEDIUM RIGHT!

CEB Slows down wisely. However, a CPU car bumps into him. CEB's car turns accidentially 180 degrees, but he does a quick U-turn and takes the first place. Meanwhile, Mikachu has taken advantage and cuts in to gain the second position!

Then there's a straight stretch. Both Mikachu and CEB do not want to lose. After about 1,200 meters , CEB notices a curve and slows down. Mikachu won't slow down and takes the first position.

"Hehee! I'm winning!" rejoices Mikachu hands on the PS3 controller.

"But you are going to crash!" remarks CEB.

MEDIUM LEFT!!

Mikachu's car hits a tree and flies in the air. It does a neat figure which looks like Infogrames's logo.

Crazy Elf Boy can't help laughing. Mikachu is laughing, too. But, all of a sudden, CEB is drawn inside TV. He finds himself from a right-hand front seat of a car. "What now?" CEB wonders. He looks around him. Beside him is sitting nobody but Mikachu Yukitatsu! He is driving the car! CEB notices that he is inside Mikachu's car in the very same game they were playing! The car crashes into the ground and rolls around like a tornado. Mikachu teleports himself out of the car just before it explodes (yes, I know V-RALLY cars don't explode, but...) and CEB is sent to Heaven.

[Master of Paradox]

"I shouldn't," the Master of Paradox tells himself as he stands in front of a certain lever in his domain. This lever has the words "DO NOT PULL" painted on it in very clear letters. It's surrounded by a velvet rope and lit with red undertones.

He checks his list. The name with the fewest checkmarks jumps out at him.

With a sigh, the Master of Paradox pulls the forbidden lever, muttering, "Please don't let him ban me..."

0000000

It was a bright, sunny day in the park as Mr. Pikachu walked along, just enjoying himself. He was relatively unmarred thus far in Whack-A-TPMer, but part of him stayed on his guard.

And that part of him sounded an alarm as he passed one bench in particular. The man sitting on it smiled up at him; it was a Japanese man with close-cropped hair and fairly well-defined features, his eyes half-lidded at the moment. He wore a brown bodysuit, zipper partially undone.

With a smile, the man muttered, "Yaranai, ka?"

Those words chilled Mr. Pikachu to the bone, and he prepared to fight.

It availed him little.

(Fourth-wall break: WARNING! That video doesn't contain anything unduly offensive, but I wouldn't let my boss see it if I were you!)

When it was over, the last thing Mr. Pikachu heard before he passed out was "Arigato, Piichan."

Kuso Miso Whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Mikachu Yukitatsu, it is your turn.

"This should work. I have planned everything to the last second and Inferno_Dragon shall pay." Mikachu Yukitatsu said.

*Mikachu Yukitatsu is standing in a desert valley surrounded by cliffs. There is a plate of chicken strips on a platform in the middle of the road. There is a sign saying Free Food. Above the free food, it is a anvil tied to a rope. The rope goes all the way down to where Mikachu Yukitatsu is standing. He is holding a button that when pressed will drop the anvil on Inferno_Dragon.*

"There he comes." Mikachu Yukitatsu says.

*Inferno_Dragon using the omnitrix is right now the alien XLR8. He is running really fast. He stops right at the plate. Inferno_Dragon drools and starts to eat it faster. Mikachu Yukitatsu presses the button. Nothing happens. He presses it a bunch of times. Nothing is still happening. By that times, Inferno_Dragon has finished off his meal and sped off. Mikachu Yukitatsu throws the device to the ground, walks over to the plate and scratches his head.*

"What went wrong?" Mikachu Yukitatsu asks.

*Suddenly, he hears a click. A small scorpion has just walked over the remote and has pressed the button. The rope releases and drop the giant anvil on top of Mikachu Yukitatsu. It flats him. Inferno_Dragon speeds back to the spot and looks at the scorpion. Inferno_Dragon uses a spell which transforms it into the pokemon Skorupi. Inferno_Dragon recalls the pokemon and speeds off into the sunset.*

Mikachu Yukitatsu, you have just been Looney Tunes whacked. (For those of you who don't know what I am talking about, I am refering to the cartoons featuring Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner where Wile always fails and his plans backfire so always gets hurt.)

[Blademaster]

"I shouldn't," the Master of Paradox tells himself as he stands in front of a certain lever in his domain. This lever has the words "DO NOT PULL" painted on it in very clear letters. It's surrounded by a velvet rope and lit with red undertones.

He checks his list. The name with the fewest checkmarks jumps out at him.

With a sigh, the Master of Paradox pulls the forbidden lever, muttering, "Please don't let him ban me..."

0000000

It was a bright, sunny day in the park as Mr. Pikachu walked along, just enjoying himself. He was relatively unmarred thus far in Whack-A-TPMer, but part of him stayed on his guard.

And that part of him sounded an alarm as he passed one bench in particular. The man sitting on it smiled up at him; it was a Japanese man with close-cropped hair and fairly well-defined features, his eyes half-lidded at the moment. He wore a brown bodysuit, zipper partially undone.

With a smile, the man muttered, "Yaranai, ka?"

Those words chilled Mr. Pikachu to the bone, and he prepared to fight.

It availed him little.

(Fourth-wall break: WARNING! That video doesn't contain anything unduly offensive, but I wouldn't let my boss see it if I were you!)

When it was over, the last thing Mr. Pikachu heard before he passed out was "Arigato, Piichan."

Kuso Miso Whacked.

"ROTMFFLMMFAO!!!!!!!"

Master of Paradox perked up, sweatdrops appearing on his brow.

'Gods...' he thought, turning around. 'Tell me that isn't him...'

"That was PRICELESS!" a cackling Blademaster says, laughing and clapping. "Congratulations, Paradox: You win the Internet!"

Paradox looks unimpressed.

"Didn't somebody do this whack already?" he says flatly.

"Maybe." Blade replies with a shrug, shoving Paradox into a chair and pulling a table up in front of him. On the table is a single computer, its monitor black; a strange cord is sticking out of its back.

"Oh, real creative." Paradox scoffs. "Lemme guess - that cord is going-"

Master of Paradox is abruptly silenced by the cord, which promptly comes to life and shoots itself into his forehead. The cord has no plug, though - it simply vanishes into his brow, the wound surrounded by crackling blue light.

Blademaster sits down to Paradox's right at the table, watching with a satisfied grin. Paradox grits his teeth and begins to convulse as the entire Internet ravages his brain. A horrid screeching fills the air, like nails on an electrical chalkboard. And it's getting louder and higher in pitch...

Through his agony, Paradox manages to look at Blademaster.

"This... is not... how... the... mo... vie... goes..."

"I know!" Blademaster calls over the deafening screech. "But it makes for a good whack, huh?!"

Master of Paradox tries to reply... But the screech hits its lethal peak, and Master of Paradox's head explodes.

...

A moment later, a single message appears on the computer screen:

Scanners-whacked.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Since Magmar isn't here, I'll use my standard Sailor Moon whack on you, darktyranitar!!

bad German/English
English translation

Hört auf damit, Mikachu darktyranitars Leben zu zerstören
Hear that Mikachu destroys darktyranitars life
Die reine Seele und die Liebe helfen nicht dich
The pure soul and love do not help you
Lasst die Scwert und die Kugel in deine Herzen
Let the sword and bullet in your heart
Forget about the sense in whacking you like this

I whack, everyone of us whacks

Jeber WHACK hat seinen Preis
Every whack has its price
Ob es gut ist, oder schlest ist, es ist nicht mein voller Ernst
If it's good, if it's bad, I am not serious

WHACK OUT, vertraut auf TPM
Whack out, count in TPM
Whack out, Postcount+++

WHACK OUT, und kämpft mit Mikachu
Whack out, and fight with Mikachu
Whack out, I am not good in German

Whack out, the moderators approve this

Whack out, I cannot write all at German

For the might of TPM I whack darktyranitar now

darktyranitar, whacked by the German dub of Sailor Moon.

[Master of Paradox]

Louis finds himself standing in the middle of a room full of levers. As he didn't hear one of them being pulled, he isn't sure where he is until he hears a familiar laugh.

A hole opens in the air in front of him, looking vaguely like a bat-headed cape. From it emerges the Master of Paradox, dressed in one hell of a swank suit, a monocle in one eye. As he still has his glasses on, this gives him an unusual look.

Louis immediately moves into a combat stance, but before he can react the Master of Paradox adjusts his shirt, a red aura glowing around his feet. He then dashes in and slams his shoulder into the other man's gut.

The blow knocks the wind out of Louis, and thus he can't help himself when that fist comes around. It connects with his jaw, and he goes flying at the speed of sound up through the ceiling, which opens to accomodate him.

As he flies away, the Master of Paradox lights a pipe, reciting a haiku to himself:

"On the ground, the snow
Fights to survive one more day
It will outlive you"

There is a twinkle in the sky at the end of the poem, and a deep voice from nowhere shouts, "DESTROYED!"

Guilty Gear Whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Master of Paradox, you are next.

*Master of Paradox had just finished a wonderful teryaki dinner. He reached over to get his fortune cookie. After cracking it open and eating the shell, he read the message.

"You shall get whacked. Your lucky lottery numbers are 5,8,23,7,1,0, and 30. Wow, I am going to rush out and get me a lottery ticket." Master of Paradox said.

*Master of Paradox ran out of the restaurant to find a mini-mart to get a lottery ticket. Suddenly, he was pulled back into the restaurant. The chef was looking at him angrily. Master of Paradox didn't know what was going on.*

"I suppose you are going to run out and not pay for that meal." The chef said.

"But I gave you that coupon." Master of Paradox said.

"Yes, but it wasn't until I looked at it closer that I saw it was expired 1 day ago." The chef said.

"Can't you just overlook this?" Master of Paradox pleaded.

"Well, can't you overlook your pending doom?" The chef said while grinning.

*Before Master of Paradox could say what, the chef pulled out a button. A trapdoor opened up and dropped Master of Paradox into a pit. There was a man looking at Master of Paradox. He shackled Master of Paradox to a typewriter.*

"Congratulations, you have been become the new fortune cookie writer. Write good ones and your sentence will be shorter. Write bad ones and well he will punish you." The man said.

*Master of Paradox turned around to see a Balrog with its fire whip. Master of Paradox started to type while trying not to be afraid. Meanwhile up in the restaurant, a customer had just paid the chef.*

"Here is an extra tip.* The customer said.

"And here is the fortune that Master of Paradox had. You deserve it. I needed a new fortune cookie writer since the last one ran away with my daughter. And it is impossible to get anything back from her." The chef said.

"Well, expect me to come back here often. The food is great and you should have good results. If Master of Paradox doesn't work out, there are others I can find for you." Inferno_Dragon smiled.

*Then Inferno_Dragon walked out of the restaurant with the fortune cookie message in his pocket. He headed over to the nearest mini-mart and bought a ticket hoping that the numbers were truely lucky.*

Master of Paradox, you have been Fortune Cookie whacked.

[Magmar]

Just to be simple and fun, via tradition, I whack Inferno_Dragon, via bubbles.