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  1. #1
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    Default A Light Kiss

    I was bored. So sue me. ;_; I posted this...in three places elsewhere. Let's see how it fares well here also.



    A Light Kiss





    She stared, unblinking; face cold in a firm stare. It was one of those stares where icy blue eyes could easily penetrate without hesitation, as her grip tightened.

    He stared back, lost.

    “Alright Ash Ketchum…” The orange haired teen whispered furiously, clenching the edge of the wooden desk, staring at the sitting boy in front of her. “Let’s do this quick, and let’s do this easy, shall we?” She snarled with aggression, slamming herself onto the metal chair suppressing the urge to get straight to the point. He yawned once, scratched his black hair, and still stared at her with those doughy brown eyes. She gritted her teeth with the seed of anxiety sprouting in her strong willed heart, while forcing a presumptuous sweet smile to lift upon her stone face.

    “Let’s start this thing then,” She spoke through zealous lips, frowning at the dim preparation before snapping her finger. The forty watt bulb clinging onto the ceiling did not even flinch. Nothing happened. She groaned inwardly at her stupidity. Of course, this wasn’t one of those magical moments where one snapped a finger and suddenly a whole field of light erupted. Oh no, life was too stupid and imperfect for that. And she marveled at the blunt fact.

    “Now Ash, what do people do when they are in love?” She asked briskly, the light bulb flickering on and off once in a while. She stared at him intently with her unblinking lovesick cobalt eyes; was he thinking for once? He stared at the empty air wavering around, eyes rolling to the ceiling, before staring back at her, tilting his head.

    “Dunno.”

    Oh no. Misty Hanosea Waterflower would not take that as an answer. No, never on her life. She pounded her fist, colliding painfully against the creaking table but she did not pay any attention. She was void of emotions, love ringing through her head at the same time frustration kicked in.

    You listen to me, Ash Ketchum,” she hissed while springing up from her chair, knocking it over; a demonic flare triumphantly rising up like steam towering over the ebony haired teenager. “I will not take that for an answer, you understand? Oh no, I have waited patiently long enough. And you are going to answer me truthfully, got that?” She snapped. A bit of the devil’s work, a dash of truth and her own frustration that had to be released; it was, all in all, not bad.

    Misty panted, transfixing her steely glare in front of her. Ash sniffed once, and sniffed again. Her heart melted then, had she been too harsh?

    The rare tranquil moment ended with a loud sneeze.

    The girl sighed desperately, angrily kicking her chair with a loud echo and pulling it up again. After having seated, she kept that focused look glued on Ash. He stared back plainly, sniffing once again.

    “Let’s start over then,” she spoke in a vexed tone, words slick and cool off her tongue. “When a girl and a boy get together, they spend time a lot, which is what we’ve been doing…alright?” No response came. She continued on in a forced steady tone, unwavering. “And pretty soon, that time comes when young teenagers such as us must have one special moment that involves a certain technique which can be performed by the trained movement of the mouth…”

    Now at this, a furious blush crept up her cheeks in spite of her feeble explanation, thinking Ash would’ve gotten it by now. He didn’t give any hint of what he might have been feeling, instead giving off the hint of boredom instead with one simple word.

    “So?”

    Misty swallowed hard, refraining herself from lunging at him.

    Oh no. Instead, with proper form of etiquette, she smiled. It was a smile dripping with venom sweetness, it was a smile that could’ve sent an Arcanine cringing for help, but a smile was a smile. Ash cocked his head to the side like a small bird, before yawning again, eyeing the shadow around him with half interest.

    “It's called a kiss, Ash,” Misty said earnestly, oh so every charmingly, yet with a tinge of anticipation. “And you know what a girl and boy do when they kiss?”

    Now, Misty was proud to say her accomplishment had sent Ash a look of nervousness. He sat there, white in the face, before weakly staring at the successful girl.

    “N-no.” He stuttered, confusion arousing him.

    She grinned.

    “Oh it’s quite simple,” she said in a daring low breath, swinging her legs on top of the table. Crawling forward fairly lightly, she laughed in a dainty amusement at Ash’s unassertive movement into backing up. “You position your lips slightly…” More closer... “…and you kind of inch up to them…“ Her voice was trying hard to be casual, but she couldn’t help it at Ash’s realization, crashing onto him like a tidal wave.

    It hit him. Hard.

    "Y-you want me to-" He stuttered and jerked through words again, and much to his horrified yet peculiar daze, Misty let out a mischievous giggle. Her slender figure perched on top of the table; she neatly jumped down, right when the boy stood up abruptly from his own chair.

    A bold movement, as she raised an eye. Misty swung back her cascading orange hair, her hands extending up to his face with his eyes glowing frightfully amber against the flickering light. Her touch tingled with excitement, an overwhelming rapture seizing her strongly. Right, so close. Just a bit more, despite the dancing shadows that blinded their eyes occasionally. She repeated to herself in her mind, feeling ecstatic now that her dream would come true after many years of traveling-

    “Oh!” Misty let out an alarmed cry of surprise as the lights finally gave way, leaving them both in the darkness.

    And distinctively, she could hear Ash’s loud noise as he scrambled through the mess of chairs and out the door within few seconds. She stood there, fanaticizing for a moment more, before angrily casting her eyes on the failure light bulb.

    "And God said ‘let there be light’,” she ejaculated sarcastically.

    Kicking the table over while muttering unexplainable words low under her breath, Misty ran out the door in hopes of searching for Ash so that they might’ve finished what she had started.


    ~*~


    …XD I know, bad. ;;

  2. #2
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    Default A Light Kiss

    lol.

    you have to admit, Misty is kind of, scary.

    I wouldn't want to be in the same room with her if she was like that. It sounded as if she was on raging PMS or something ^.^;; I can see why Ash ran as crazilly as she did. Misty was rampaging! O.o woo.

    Nice work. Nice laugh as well ^.^



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  3. #3
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    Default A Light Kiss

    I know Misty's character is a tad bit OOC...but that's how it should be. She will NOT be abused as a marshmellow anymore and Ash will NOT be the perfect Prince Charming. At least, not in my one shots...XD'

    ty for the review Pancake. ^^

  4. #4
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    Default A Light Kiss

    Very, very strange indeed. Misty's character might be a bit off, but that doesn't really matter. I would not have liked to have been in that room, Misty creeped me out. Ash's slowness was a bit exaggerated though, I mean no ne can be that slow. Yet, it somehow has a comic effect.

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  5. #5
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    Default A Light Kiss

    Yes, well...it was part of the humor, don't ya get it? =D Good vs Evil, in this case you see Misty and Ash with two totally different reactions...

    And will do! *salutes*

  6. #6
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    Default A Light Kiss

    *gasps for breath* You know, it's been a long time since a fanfic made me laugh this hard. And better yet, it was a shipping fic! My favorite genre!

    Hmm... nice opening. Excellent contrast of characters here; that's what gives it the incredible comedic feel. Nice choice of words, as well. I like the descriptors especially, like the "zealous lips", the "demonic flare" and the "vexed tone". Beautiful vocabulary, there!

    The main problem I have here is simply the exaggeration of Ash's and Misty's flaws. Yes, Ash is dense, but here he's yawning in something similar to an interrogation room. Plus, he's not responding (until the very end, at least) to Misty's own multiplied anger and determination. The setting also creates a question, but that's something that could be explained. These things may have made it more funny, but from a writer's standpoint, they didn't exactly fit the given scenario of the characters, either.

    Regardless of that, though, this is an excellent work. The humor is outstanding, and despite the exaggeration, you've defined your characters well. The writing style and word usage is also great. And please, don't take offense to my criticisms. Never take offense to the advice of someone who steadfastly believes that if you can't find flaws in Shakespeare, you're not looking hard enough.

    I hope you'll continue to post here on TPM's Fanfic, because we could use more works like this! Well, I'll see you when you post your next fic!

    (Note: The aforementioned philosophy was not an exaggeration. Seriously.)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gavin Luper View Post
    Holy crap ... I'VE become a grammar nazi, too.

  7. #7
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    Default A Light Kiss

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    *gasps for breath* You know, it's been a long time since a fanfic made me laugh this hard. And better yet, it was a shipping fic! My favorite genre!
    XP It was my first shot at a shipping fic...

    Hmm... nice opening. Excellent contrast of characters here; that's what gives it the incredible comedic feel. Nice choice of words, as well. I like the descriptors especially, like the "zealous lips", the "demonic flare" and the "vexed tone". Beautiful vocabulary, there!
    Thankies. 'demonic flare' was part of the usage of god vs. devil humor, as you can see by Misty's last words. 'Zealous...' It was supposed to be jealous, but it didn't fit so...zealous it is!

    The main problem I have here is simply the exaggeration of Ash's and Misty's flaws. Yes, Ash is dense, but here he's yawning in something similar to an interrogation room. Plus, he's not responding (until the very end, at least) to Misty's own multiplied anger and determination. The setting also creates a question, but that's something that could be explained. These things may have made it more funny, but from a writer's standpoint, they didn't exactly fit the given scenario of the characters, either.
    Yes, both their character...actually, I only thought Misty was a bit OOC...I know I overdid it, but perhaps Lily wanted to exaggerate how tired she was of seeing Mistys' that were so...romantic in fics. ><; And Ash DOES seem 'dense' and 'oblivious' at times. I wanted to portray their inner self, and see how they clash. The setting is simple, think of a suspect in questioning by a police and voila! The flickering lightbulb plays a major role in symbolism as well. ^_^

    Regardless of that, though, this is an excellent work. The humor is outstanding, and despite the exaggeration, you've defined your characters well. The writing style and word usage is also great. And please, don't take offense to my criticisms. Never take offense to the advice of someone who steadfastly believes that if you can't find flaws in Shakespeare, you're not looking hard enough.
    Me? Take offense in criticism?

    *bursts out laughing* o.o; Thank you anyway for the excellent review! XP

    I hope you'll continue to post here on TPM's Fanfic, because we could use more works like this! Well, I'll see you when you post your next fic!

    (Note: The aforementioned philosophy was not an exaggeration. Seriously.)
    Alright, see you as well? XD (Yes..yes...ok. o.O)

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