The Chain Fic of Doom

[mistysakura]

Whee, Fanfic needs a chain fic. Basically, post to keep the story going. Posts must be at least three sentences long and no double posting. There are no other rules -- this can be as stupid as you like. Have fun!

Dave woke with a start in his frilly pink bedroom. He looked around, feeling in his very bones that something was very wrong. At last he remembered...

[firepokemon]

Great idea mistysakura it also helps people like me who are too busy/lazy or/and have writers block and yet still want to fanfic somehow (not sure if that makes sense).

----

...that the night before he was all-women. Was Dave experiencing the terrible curse that had befallen many in his village? The curse where certain males become female vampires at night time or was he just having a crazy dream. These were things that Dave would soon discover, but for now he decided to forget about such matters and take care of brushing his teeth.

[Goodnight Seadra]

He slowly came to his bathroom, but screamed when he noticed the bathroom was pink too. There were many womanly products like perfume and hair bows scattered everywhere. Dave took a step back, but then he lost his footing and slip.

[mr_pikachu]

With a wild, desperate lunge, Dave grasped the towel rack at his side, saving himself from falling hard onto the porcelain tiles below.

What could have happened to make me this way? Dave thought, still awkwardly clinging to the thin metal bar. Just because my name is Dave doesn't mean I'm supposed to be a guy! This is like some dirty anime....

The towel rack, under the full weight of Dave's suddenly-male body, snapped off the wall.

[mistysakura]

It plunged to the floor, taking him with it. He cursed in all its sparkling purpleness. Where the rack hit, there was now a red spot on his collarbone. It looked a bit like a love bite. Dave picked himself, clutching the towel to his chest, contemplating his next move when three loud raps sounded on his bedroom door...

[Gavin Luper]

A high, nasal voice came from the other side of the bedroom door. "Petunia? Is everything okay in there? I thought I heard a noise."

Dave froze. Petunia? He drew the towel tighter around his broad chest in apprehension. Why did that name ring a bell? His eyes darted around the lurid pink bedroom - and, suddenly, he remembered ...

[firepokemon]

...that Petunia was a girl he had picked up in the bar last night. A stunning looking girl, her hairs was jet black and her eyes sultry and blue, her figure was pretty good and it wasn't like Dave was a looker. But Petunia was strange. Whilst pretty good looking, there was just something that aggravated him about her. Was it her silly laugh she made as they were making love the night before? Or was it that Petunia could just not be trusted? Certainly there was something wrong about her....

[Goodnight Seadra]

The door snapped open and revealed a chubby woman in a silky nightgown. Her curly red hair bounced when she titled her head in confusion. She then screamed.

"You're not Petunia!" the woman exclaimed while pointing at Dave.

"Who are you?" the man asked.

[Chris 2.1]

"I'm....I'm...."

Come on man, Dave said to himself. You went to Theatre Camp. IMPROVISE!

"I'm sorry, but the person you are looking for is unavailable," Dave droned, in his best robot voice. "Please leave a message after the beep."

Pausing, Dave saw the large woman reach for a lamp. He ran into the bathroom, jamming the lock tight as obscenities filled the air. and a high shatter told him shards of lamp now lay on the other side of the door.

[Gavin Luper]

Trying to block out the screams of the chubby woman on the other side of the bathroom door, Dave scanned the frilly pink bathroom. Surely there had to be a clue, somewhere in this bizarre place, as to what had happened last night? Why did everyone think he was called Petunia? And why were there now lamps being hurled at him?

Suddenly, his eyes fell on something thin and white resting on the basin beneath a curling iron. Shuddering slightly at the volume of loose hair clinging to the device, Dave retrieved the object and gasped.

It was a white envelope, upon which was written:

"DAVE - OPEN THIS NOW. YOUR LIFE IS IN DANGER!"

[Chris 2.1]

Dave's fingers gently lifted the envelope's lid and he pulled out a fresh, crisp letter. The discarded envelope drifted on the air, landing by a rather dubious looking object, an object resembling a melon-baller and an electric toothbrush. This was ignored as Dave read the note.

'DAVE:
YOU WILL NOT REMEMBER ME. THAT WAS THE PLAN. BUT IT IS OF GRAVE IMPORTANCE THAT YOU TAKE THE REMOTE CONTROL IN THE BEDROOM AND BRING IT TO OUR MEETING POINT.'

The bangs on the door pounded with the beating of Dave's heart; like a raging animal his lumpy blood-pumper thrashed wildly against his ribcage as a woman on the other side of the door yelled for her husband to get his 'Smashin' Bar'. As Dave stared at himself in the mirror, he noticed a strange tattoo on his knuckles. Staring at them, for they were reflected in the mirror and indistinguishable, he read the message:

4 2 K I N G RD

[Goodnight Seadra]

That street does sound familar...

Dave rubbed his forehead and took a deep breath. Where would 42 King Road be? Perphaps close to a business district? A theme park? After some time, he sighed and shook his head.

Forget this. I'll just run out of this bathroom find it!

Dave turned around and was about to make a run for it, but halted. He moaned.

The remote! How am I going to get it with that woman throwing lamps at me?

[Charles Legend]

Dave Made up his mind, He was going back in.

He slowly took a looked around the door, His jaw suddenly dropped as he watched as the Lamp the woman just piked up wrapped it's cord around her neck.

Dave quickly grabbed the remote, and then he looked for some cloths to put on but all he found were hot Pink...

~Charles Legend

[Chris 2.1]

"Hmm," Dave pondered, realising hot pink was a vile colour. "Nude it is!"

Watching as the large woman was slowly suffocating by the cord of the eerie lamp, Dave picked up the remote, where he found a note lodged in the back of the panel where the batteries were usually kept. Unsure whether he needed the note OR the remote, Dave took both, using the remote to aptly cover his private area as he made a beeline for the window.

THUMP.

Bad Idea #1 - Jumping from a 1st story window. Naked, with a remote and a note, Dave ran across the street towards 42 King's Road.

Luckily, the house he had currently occupied was number 39. Not far to go, he thought.

[Andrew]

As Dave held his now non-existant breasts, he felt a dangle and bounce where he previously had not dangled, nor bounced. "That's new... AND I LIKE IT" thought Dave, clutching his man nipples, he felt a wave of revulsion at the sensation at being the proud owner of chest hair.

As Dave ran past house 41 on King's Road, he was suddenly halted by a group of large black, "Bootylicious" women.

"LaShauna, where he think he at?"

"I don't know girlfriend but he ain't all that and a bag of potato chips Rosie G"

"Mama needs her some sugar, and even though this sugar ain't the sweetest, " she said as she tried to grasp for Dave's new man-parts, "Mama will have to make do with this man-candy"

As Mama reached for Dave's man-candy, he hastily put his hand with the remote in the way.

"Mama don't like you playin hard to get!"

"You tell him girl!'

"HAY HAY HAY"

And with that, Mama snatched away the remote, but saw a movement in the flowerbed outside Number 42.


"Com'ere, sweetstuff!"

Dave suddenly felt a large black woman, with ample cleave in the front and in the truck start groping him like a zombie from Resident Evil and her tounge plunged down his neck.

Is this how it would end?

[mr_pikachu]

Yes. That was exactly how it ended.

At least, until the sequel.

[Andrew]

After Mama had broken the remote, Dave had resigned himself to "rollin with dem girls" for three years and was their "Friend" somewhat.

But, one day, they were passing a certain street again

And Dave felt familiar.

[mr_pikachu]

What is this feeling? Dave thought to himself. It feels... so familiar. Like I should remember it clearly. But what could it be?

Then it hit him. In shock, he looked toward his pants and realized the truth.