First time Writer requests advice.

[Ultimate Charizard]

I know a few of you have read the opening Chapter to Dragonball UC (it says so in the viewed bit) and i know its no masterpiece which is why im posting here.

I wasnt expecting masses of replies since very little of the plot has been revealed (if any) and it was a very short post but rather than begging for responses, and filling up the thread with tips and advice picking it apart while people are (hopefully) trying to read it.

If you feel you can help post here or PM etc with a few pointers if at all possible. Even plot points etc will help as i only have a vague outline and im filling it in as i go. (im more of a off the cuff type of writer).

[Gavin Luper]

Hi there.

You're not the first one to find yourself in this predicament - 100 views but very few replies. Most of us have been there with our fics - I know I have.

A lot of people don't have enough time to reply to everything they read, which is a part of life. The best advice I can give is to keep writing and keep posting and hope that someone gives you some good feedback. Looks like you've had a couple of replies now anyway.

Glancing over your piece fairly quickly, I think the most helpful comment I can offer is that you need to work on your structure a bit. Remember to make a new paragraph for each new line of description or dialogue: it looks neater and more appealing to a prospective reader. Also, when dialogue is put in quotation marks, it needs some form of punctuation before you close the marks off. For example:

"What's your problem" he asked. ===(should be)===> "What's your problem?" he asked.

Even if it's not a question or an exclamation, you'll still need a comma there, like the example below.

"To be honest, I haven't slept in days," he sighed.

I know that seems like basic advice but it's the thing that stuck out to me most in your fic upon a quick sweep over it. If you want more grammar advice, I'd recommend mr_pikachu's Grammar Nazi columns in our forum's monthly E-zine.

If you're wanting to improve your writing in general, I reckon the best way is to read a lot. Read published novels as well as the fanfics on TPM - I always find that really helpful when I'm trying to expand my writing. Us mods are always around for advice, too.

Good luck with the fic man.

(Btw - merging this into your fic thread itself - it really does belong there, and it'll be easier for you to view everything in one place!)

Cheers!