Mewfour Annoyed. All Shall Suffer.

[Mewfour]

Going to Naniamo B.C. or however the hell you spell it for the week. Out in the friggin' middle of nowhere miles away from civilization, running water, and the concept of the wheel. If no one hears from me after today, that means I've probably been eaten by a dinosaur or something.

Neways, here's a real old one of mine that I don't think has ever seen TPM yet. It's a Zelda/Gundam Wing crossover. I think I should just stop there. Enjoy.

New Ocarina Report: Zelda Wing

Episode I - Beginning

A meadow within the Holy kingdom of Hyrule.

The long lush strands of green grass waved and billowed from the gust of gentle northwestern wind. Hyrule Meadow was a haven for many miscellaneous creatures that called Hyrule home, like the Octorks and Like Likes. They milled about in their grassy kingdom and ruled over all they surveyed in perfect harmony with the other creatures of the vicinity.

A sweet tune rolled over the meadow. Fluid notes of music whistled over the breeze like an angel's breath on the world. It softly died away. "That was lovely, Link," the teenaged female Hylain sighed, her mind whisked half away to dreams by the sweet melody as she leaned on a nearby boulder.

The other teenage Hylain, sitting against a small tree and dressed in green took his lips off the pale Ocarina in his hands and looked up to his companion. "Thank you, my lady Zelda," he replied.

"Oh, must you be so formal?" Zelda asked, "All the way out here in Hylain Field?"

"You are a princess," Link joked softly. "And shall be treated as such."

"Oh, nonsense," Zelda giggled as Link slowly got up off his tree-seat and gently kissed her hair hand.

"Will you play me another?" Zelda asked.

"Certainly, my lady," replied Link, raising the ocarina to his lips as he rested beside Zelda on her boulder. Taking in a deep breath, Link slowly exhaled into the small shell-like ocarina, and another soothing melody whispered along the wind as his fingertips raced around the ocarina's note holes. Zelda sighed and closed her eyes.

Zelda imagined she was flying. Flying without effort over Hyrule. Although she had never seen the Hylain Castle from above, her mind created a mental image of an overhead view of her royal home, as she soared over it with hardly a thought of keeping aloft. She glided over the trees and rivers like a sparrow, the sweet music flowing from Link's ocarina taking hold of her and letting her soar over the skies.

Suddenly, her dream vision's tranquility was abruptly shattered by a screeching phoenix, blackened silver talons that would cut through flesh like an axe through string.

Zelda awoke with a jolt, and found herself, still leaning against the rock, underneath the towering shadow of a giant inferno of a bird.

"Link?" she asked softly.

"Yes?" Link replied with his eyes lightly closed, pausing his Ocarina's gentle serenade.

"Link, there is a phoenix in front of us," she said with worry.

"They are gentle creatures, my lady," said Link with absolute calm, "I have encountered them many a time on my journeys."

"This one does not look gentle, Link," Zelda replied, huddling closer to Link.

"My lady, even if there was," Link began as he opened his eyes, "It would be as calm as-"

Link stopped his assurance when he locked his eyes with the blazing phoenix's glare.

The phoenix snorted, and craned its neck down, its beak inches away from Link's chest. Then, with a mighty cry, the phoenix jabbed its head forward and pinched the ocarina from Link's hands with its beak. With a flap of its flaming wings, the phoenix took to the air and glided off.

"My ocarina!" Zelda gasped.

"Fear not, my lady," said Link, unsheathing his sword from his back-belt, "I shall retrieve it."

Before Link could set off in pursuit of the thief bird, Zelda put her hand on Link's shoulder. "Then I shall accompany thee."

"My lady-" Link began to protest.

"Perhaps my magic shall persuade the phoenix to return my ocarina." When Link did not answer, Zelda added, "I wish to leave such a rare bird as the phoenix unharmed."

Link sighed. "As you wish."

It was not until one hour later that Link and Zelda finally followed the phoenix back to its nest among a rocky cliff. The phoenix set the ocarina down in its straw nest, and began gazing at it in amusement.

From behind an outcropping wall beside the nest, Link and Zelda peered upon the phoenix and its capture. "My lady, I'll retrieve it now," said Link, drawing his sword.

Zelda put her hand upon Link's shoulder at those words. "Nay, I will try my magic," she said.

Zelda lightly closed her eyes, and began humming a few bars in an ancient Hylian dialect. When she opened them again, she asked, "Link, has the bird changed its mood?"

Link shook his head. "No, the bird still keeps the ocarina in his nest." Link gripped his sword tighter now. "I'll not harm the bird," Link said to Zelda, slowly venturing out towards the phoenix.

"Be careful," Zelda quietly wished her companion.

Link, on the tip of his toes, edged closer and closer to the phoenix's nest. "Be a good infernal bird and give me the ocarina," Link cooed to the phoenix.

The phoenix only snorted as Link was about a yard from the edge of the nest. Then, with a sudden jab of its neck, the phoenix began pecking at the ocarina.

"No! Don't peck it!" Link growled more to himself than the bird. The phoenix paid Link no heed as it continued to curiously peck at the small instrument.

"No! Curse thee, damned bird!" Link snarled.

"Link!" Zelda gasped with disgust from behind the outcropping.

"Pardon, `ignorant' bird," Link said, turning his head over his shoulder to look at Zelda.

The phoenix continued it's pecking.

"Oh, to the Eternal Bonfire with this charade," Link growled. With a loud yell, Link waved his sword around in the air and ran to the phoenix. With a startled squawk, the phoenix frantically flapped it's flaming wings and sped into the air.

Zelda strolled from out behind the outcropping and stood beside Link. "I'll not heed your word again," Zelda stated firmly.

"My apologies, my lady," said Link apologetically. Link stepped into the phoenix's deserted nest and plucked the ocarina from it. "Blasted bird," Link growled, "He's gone and cracked it!" Link grumbled as he ran his fingers over the numerous hair-thin cracks indented into the ocarina.

Just before Link could return the ocarina to Zelda, a familiar screech echoed over the skies. Both Link and Zelda looked skyward to see the phoenix about to swoop down upon them with its flesh-tearing talons and fearsome beak. "My lady," Link murmured as he stood in front of Zelda, "I advise that you desert this place anon."

"But what about you?" Zelda asked in a squeak, watching the bird circle above them in a trail of flames.

"I shall be fine," said Link as he clutched his sword harder, "I've been on many an impossible quest. Retreat to Hyrule Castle, my lady."

Zelda nodded, and quickly dashed off back down the cliff.

Link raised his sword and pointed the tip at the overhead phoenix. "Hear me, damned bird!" Link shouted at the phoenix, "Whilst you battle me, my Zelda is toward Hyrule! Fight me now, I may'st distract thee!"

The bird screeched an awful cry of war, and swooped down upon Link. Link had to tumble to the ground to avoid the fierce talons of the phoenix from impaling him. As soon as Link picked himself up, the phoenix had already come around in a circle, and had begun another decent upon him. Link dove to his right to miss being skewered on the phoenix's beak. It was then that Link began to dash down the cliff and into the plain yellow stained sprout-grass field below.

As Link was running, he took a quick shot over his shoulder with his eyes, and saw the angered phoenix gliding smoothly behind him. Link threw himself belly down the ground as the phoenix swooped over him for a third time. When Link picked himself up, he noticed a faint wetness dribbling down his neck. He rubbed his gloved hand over his chin and brought it to his eyes. Blood. Presently, Link had no time to pamper his wound, as the phoenix had already begun another aerial assault. Link threw himself down to his left side, letting the bird sail over his right shoulder. Link yowled as the phoenix's talon lacerated his right shoulder. The windy air stung upon his shoulder's bloody wound as it blew upon him. Link was about to raise his sword and cut up the bird when it would begin another descent, when he remembered his promise to Zelda. "Aye, a word is word," Link growled to himself as he re-sheathed his sword.

Link was wishing in his mind that he had brought along his shield with him, but at the time that he and Zelda left for Hylain Field, he had not thought of being attacked by any local wildlife.

Link's thoughts were soon interrupted as the phoenix made another dive at him. Link barely found time to throw himself to the ground again as the infernal bird's blazing body soared over him.

Link was exhausted. "Curse the phoenixes," he muttered under his breath. Link still held the damaged ocarina in his right hand. Link knew he had not the energy to dodge another assault. So, as the phoenix began its last dive, Link took the small ocarina to his lips and played a melody.

Within instants, Link disappeared in a cloud of clear smoke.

[mr_pikachu]

Not too shabby. I liked the scene with the phoenix in its nest, but it was a bit unrealistic nevertheless. I would think that Zelda would appreciate the gravity of the situation enough to not worry about language.

Your description was brief, but I understood enough about the Legend of Zelda characters to understand. In the future you may want to give more information, because your readers may not know all of the characters. I, myself, know nothing of the Gundam Wing series. So it could be helpful to many to describe everything a little more thoroughly.

Otherwise, this is good. Your grammar was fine, and your spelling was fairly good as well. Nice use of a generally tame creature in an unfamiliar position. It's good to be surprised by characters and creatures doing things we wouldn't normally expect. You also use the "Old English" dialect well. Nice work, and keep going!


P.S. Sorry about your upcoming torture. I can imagine that'd be frustrating. Just remember, you'll be back to the real world soon enough!