Ah, she's got herself a book now, huh? It sounds kind of similar to a book Brock had in my fanfic... but no matter. I doubt you've read it, anyway. It's not exactly the most popular fic, if you get my drift. But what's up with Matchi? I noticed that his dæmon wasn't even mentioned here... very odd indeed. He's got such a mysterious aura about him. What is it that sets him apart and infuriates Ekad? Hmm...

I liked the sub-plots in this chapter. You accentuated Ekad's conflict with Matchi nicely with the haggling. Good use of the filler's "filling" in that regard. On that note, the characters were portrayed well. You've done a good job obscuring the tension between Ekad and Matchi, too, which leaves your audience guessing. Great work there, I must say.

There were a few criticisms worth noting, however...



Fancy dresses, rare gems, sweet breads, decorative swords, the finest glass jars and beads from Soil, dolls, colorful blankets made of sheep’s wool from Quartz, hand made nick-nacks, and more.

First, why is Soil capitalized? Is that a city? If so, you should have specified that, because it looks odd. (EDIT: I see now that it is a city. It would have been a good idea to have specified that when you mentioned it, as in “the town of Soil”, or something like that.) Second, “nick-nacks” should be “knick-knacks”. And finally, this sentence technically isn’t grammatically correct (there’s no verb!), but the literary effect involved in it is clear, so it’s not a big problem.


There were even a few roasting spits, where the venders were selling large portions of meat for ridiculously low prices.

Hmm… is “where” a proper conjunction? (I’ve always been awful at memorizing lists…) If it isn’t, the comma shouldn’t be there. In fact, I’d almost get rid of it anyway, just because it breaks up the nice flow of your sentence.


And of course there was the mountain of food that had been donated by the residents.

You may want to consider a comma after “of course”, since that’s kind of an introductory phrase.


"We shouldn't let the festival go on with out us." Ekad said, hopping off the wagon behind her.

You can’t end the quote with a period if the sentence continues beyond the quote (with something such as what you had in this case, “Ekad said”).


They walked passed the voices and to the table of food.

(passed/past)


Ekad poured from a pitcher of cold iced tea into two large cups.

Hmm… the word “from” seems out of place. Even though it may make the sentence slightly more precise, it’s clear from experience what you mean even without the word.


He handed one to Tiponi, then drank deeply from the second.

The part after the comma is not a complete thought, since there is no subject on which to apply the verb (who is drinking deeply from the second glass?).


After she had drunk her fill, she offered the cup to her dæmon, who drank the remaining liquid.

…I think that “drunk” should be “drank”, although it could just be the late hour and my southern dialect tricking me. Oh, sorry. The early hour. (It’s almost two in the morning here!)


When they finished, Ekad wiped the cups dry with a towel on the table, and left the cups for another thirsty person to use.

It’s only aesthetic, but saying “the cups” twice is repetitive. Try substituting in a pronoun that also precludes the towel, such as “them”. That cannot logically apply to the towel, since it is a single object.


"That's way to low for this!"

(to/too)


Legends, Legendaries, and Their Meanings was a fairly thick book and had a stunning leather-bound cover with an elaborate picture of the so-called "Legendaries".

The word “and” should be “that”, since you’re describing the object that you just mentioned. (Wow, I almost misspelled “you’re” as “your”. I am tired!)


Medwin looked up at his human and said "I'm interested in that stuff too, Tiponi."

Since the quote contains a complete sentence, you’ve got to precede it with a comma. (Sorry if I didn’t mention the “complete sentence” detail before, but it’s a somewhat obscure condition.)


"And How much would you charge for it?" Tiponi asked the man.

“How” should not be capitalized. Typo alert!


She hugger her book to herself and shifted her feet.

(hugger/hugged)


Ekad just grit his teeth and said, "It would be best if you left Tiponi alone, Matchi."

I believe “grit” should be “gritted”.


Finally, he lifted his hands and said "Easy there, I understand that she's a treasure."

Again, you need a comma before the quote.


"Until then, farewell, madam." He said as he bowed, then dissapeared into the vast crowd.

First of all, you have to end the quote with a comma and decapitalize “He”, since the sentence continues beyond the quote. Second, (dissapeared/disappeared).


But she couldn't help wonder about Matchi, and who he really was.

I hate to criticize the last sentence of the chapter, especially when it emphasized the mystery that’s been playing on my mind ever since Tiponi arrived in Swarm. But the section after the comma is not a complete thought, so you can’t have the comma there.



However, this was a nice chapter overall. It was a filler, true, but it still developed a few plotlines to some extent. At the very least, it was fun to read. Anyway, I'll see you next chapter!