Fellow DPian

[darktyranitar]

...Right.

31st December 2006, 04:01 AM. Remember that date? That was the day I posted Gone DP!, shortly before I was send off to National Service. (Egad! I haven’t posted any official fic or one shot for about one year already?!)

So, without further ado… here it is then: Fellow DPian – a continuation of Gone DP!


But first, let’s go through the usual intro, shall we?

It was only in late March 2007 did I get the idea to write a continuation of Gone DP! (the title remained pretty much the same since its initial process of writing), and believe me, a lot have happened in the past 12 month: I went to the National Service (that alone has a lot to talk about), I entered college, and was then elected as the moderator of fanfic board, etc… but, enough about me.


Almost one year has passed, and we can see, fics that are based on TPM are not new… Right, so this would be another one of those fics that are based on TPMers, alongside the massively popular and awesome TPML, the unique, weird-but-hilarious A Fast Paced Fic, and the creative, one of a kind War of the Forums (make that three, if you want to include The Misadventures of Charles Legend and Rapagania as well).

Happy reading then (And to those who I had asked if I could feature them in this one shot: sorry it took so long; I was lazy then, ehehe).


Disclaimer: I do not claim any of the ideas in this one shot as a so-called ‘original idea’; they are written based on observations, studies, and at times, shameless copypasta-ing. Credit(s) goes to (insert any names you see fit… and that may includes YOU as well) for the original idea/words.

(The banner for this one shot is already planned… but sadly, it isn’t finished at the time being. Sorry for that ^^;; )


(P/S: I STILL haven’t played the DP game, even though nearly one year has passed since then ^^;; )

Table of Content:


Gone DP!
(Oh nose!)



Fellow DPian
(With humans and some other stuffs as well)

Conspiracy theorists: the theories brought up by these groups are said to depend on circumstantial evidence, facts without analysis or documentation, quotes taken out of context and the scattered testimony of traumatized eyewitnesses. The people who uphold such belief enjoy continued popularity due to the fact that the idea that there is a malevolent controlling force orchestrating global events is, in a perverse way, comforting. It was concluded that conspiracy theories are part of the process by which the people deal with traumatic public events and constitute an ideal form of national mourning over such a terrible tragedy.

~Edited from an article from Wikipedia.com

But what if these so-called ‘conspiracy theories’ are in fact the truth?


It was early morning in the airstrip of Vermillion City. An Umbreon that goes by the name of The Arbiter was boarding the plane; it was soon evident that he would be the only passenger on board, and he was not surprised at all. Since this was the cheapest airline that he could find – far cheaper from what he saw offered by other airline company – he had already braced himself for the worst: should things starts to look bleak, he’ll run off as quickly as possible.

The vehicle that was to take him airborne was old fashioned propelled powered plane – a DC-7B, a model that once saw its glory in the commercial airlines – that was still in decent shape, much to his suspicion. When the others were not watching, he kicked the plane – as hard as he could – and he was glad to find that the plane still remained in its current state. Still, that didn’t mean that the interior was as well maintained as the exterior. Therefore, when he was aboard, he glanced around swiftly: the seats appeared to be in good shape, the floors were sturdy enough to hold him, and the flight crew looked reliable enough. That put him slightly at ease.

Only one thing bothered him though. If the plane was in decent shape and the fare was cheap, then how come no one else had bothered to board the plane? Or could it be that propeller-powered aircraft was a thing of a past, something that only the member on the lower part of the society would take (such as himself, for example)?

Maybe… maybe I should stop thinking too much and just chill out he told himself as he took a seat – the air stewardess didn’t seemed to mind which seat he took, since there wasn’t any other passenger anyway.

As soon as he settled down, a voice was heard on the speaker – it was the pilot, he presumed - informing that it was going to be a rough ride, what with the storm coming and all, but it was nothing to worry about. It would have been a brief speech, had the speaker not went on for another half an hour, (assumingly) repeating the same speech in about twenty different language or so – The Arbiter lost count at twenty one, for he could barely stay awake by that time.

Only when he woke up ten minutes later did the airplane began to ascend.


Meanwhile…

Someplace else, where the humans roam the land…

A soldier came barging into the General’s quarter, face looking flustered and panicked. He was about to speak when he remembered to give the general a proper saluting, and asked for the permission to speak. The general returned the salute, and gave him the permission to speak.

“Sir! It appears that someone had just stolen our tank at 0645, sir!”

“Jesus on a friggin’ Harvey Motorbike…” The General went on with a further list of explicit words. “Just when I turn my ass the other way, you lost us a tank!” The soldier almost squirmed under the intense staring of the general. “Now, I assume the team is already on the track of locating the tank?”

“Yes, sir. They viewed the tape… and the tank…” He paused. “It just… it… was gone just like that, sir.”

The General went with a longer list of obscene words. Finally, when he settled down, he said, firmly, “I want you to find the whereabouts of the tank NOW, you hear me? Whatever it takes; we can’t go around losing any tanks. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?”

“Yes sir!”

* * * * *

It was twenty five minutes after their departure that the pilot announced that they have just crossed the Kanto border, and was now in the Johto region. The Arbiter was currently writing an entry in his journal, giving a detailed account on the recent event starting yesterday – where he could barely sleep due to the anxiety and excitement of boarding his first airplane trip – until now.

As he was busy writing, an air stewardess came to him with what appeared to be a trolley normally found in a hospital. “Coffee, sir?” The air stewardess offered him a pack of three in one instant coffee, along with a cup and a thermos. The Arbiter politely declined, as he continued writing in his journal. When the air stewardess was out of sight, he jotted this down:

“True, the plane appears to be safe and in tip-top shape, but the same cannot be said for the in-flight service – that is to say that they are not so costumer friendly, and not to mention very outdated. But still, you have to give credit for the good looking ladies though.”

He closed his journal as he noticed the headphone beside his seat. Oh, good… at least there’s still the in-flight music… I hope it works, though he thought. Making himself as comfortable as possible in his seat, he plugged the headphone on, and he was glad to be welcomed with music.

Where do we go from here?
The words are coming out all weird
Where are you now when I need you?
Alone on an aeroplane
Falling asleep against the window pane
My blood will thicken…

He sighed upon realizing what was the song that was now being played – it was not that he was against rock music, but after a long restless night waiting in anticipation for this trip, he would be most happy for a dose of humour from, say, Weird Al Yankovic, or Outkast. Alas, he gets Radiohead instead…

It did not take long for him to fall asleep against the window pane, as the plane continued to head towards Shinou. It was going to be a long flight, and he slept his way through the flight.

* * * * *

Mega Horny the Mister Potato Head look-alike blinked, as he saw… no, felt something smooth and sticky waving in front of him… It was pink, elastic, and long… and it was moist as well. Which could only mean that….

“Sorry, man?” he asked. He could see that Blade’s mouth was moving, but he could barely make out the words.

Blade leaned closer. “I said… are YOU OKAY?” This time, the words came to him like a rush of waterfall, and it wasn’t very pleasant at all.

“Yeah, dude. Of course I’m okay. Why would I not be okay?” Mega Horny asked, irritated. The Nosepass family doesn’t like it when people treat them as if they were deaf (their ears were there, although barely visible), but this was not the case he was annoyed: it was the look that Blademaster was giving him that annoyed MH the most.

“Oh, okay… if you say so, MH.” Blademaster said, retracing his tongue before he then stepped upon the gas.

In the past few minutes, after a short beating up that consist of Crystal Tears and Mega Horny against DarkTyranitar, they finally came to a mutual, unspoken agreement that Mega Horny was now to be referred as MH.

(It was like this:

“Hey, MH. Sorry about it, okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever, Darkie.”

And they went on with MH all the way.)


“So Blade… Where do we go from here?” MH asked after he felt that Blademaster actually had no idea where he was going. It was already half an hour, and they were still stuck in the plain ol’ country road.

Blademaster gave a ‘oh, right; I forgot about that’ look and passed MH a map, using his tongue as a mean to move the map. “Oh, right. I forgot about that,” he said. “Here. See if there’s any shop nearby.”

“Why, is the van out of gas or something?” MH asked, fumbling with the saliva drenched map.

“Nah. It’s just that I feel like having some cokes. And while you’re at it, gimme some mentos too!” Blademaster shivered; it was a coke junkie shiver. “Hey, what’s taking you so long, huh MH… hey, what’s with that look…?”

“Blade…” MH said, dropping the map on the floor. “Isn’t it easier if we used the GPS system there?” He pointed at the glowing device that was positioned on the dashboard in front of him.

Blademaster stared long and hard at the device, and eventually said “…”

“???” DarkTyranitar asked.

“!!!” MH remarked.


“Okay, we’ll be reaching the shop in… ten more feet…” MH said, his eyes glued on the GPS.

“Yeah… you can stop looking at the thing now, dude,” Blademaster said, slowing down the van until it came to a halt. “Okay guys, we’re here!” he announced, where they then quickly got out – the fresh air was a nice change after hours being stuck in the cramped and stinky interior of the van.

The shop looked like any typical shop you could find in the Shinou region, but since they were still new to the region, then the concept of the shop is unfamiliar to them: the shop was more like a wooden cottage rather than a shop (and they even have the ‘welcome’ mat on the front door too). Which means no cheap doors, cheap windows, or cheapskates – everything appears to be of high class.

A few seconds after they got out, DarkTyranitar went behind some bushes, soon followed with the sound akin to one throwing up.

“Ugh. Sorry,” he said dazedly upon his return. “I was… umm, van sick, I suppose…”

“Vans only? Are you sure” Hyperness is a Good Thing asked.

“Yeah… I dunno why… I’m fine with car. And ferries, and planes… dunno about roller coaster thought… Or, it could have been those skunks…”

As the others made their way towards the shop, DarkTyranitar stayed where he was, eyeing the building with suspicion. “I dunno…” he finally said, after everyone stared at him impatiently, hoping for some kind of explanation for his reluctance to go into the shop. “I hope this ain’t one of those shops that eat people… have you heard the story of a Pokemon Center that was closed down, and then changed into a shop? And the people who shopped there never returned to tell the tale…”

“Dark,” Crystal Tears interjected, as everyone else sighed. “There is no shop that can eat people.”

“Yes, that’s what everyone says. Just like how they say that…” At this point, everyone continued walking, ignoring DarkTyranitar completely. When DarkTyranitar starts talking trash, it’d be best to leave him alone.

DarkTyranitar meekly followed only after he realized that he was now left talking to himself. Everyone had stopped before the door – which was closed, and had a note plastered on it.

“Okay… so is this shop open or not?” Hyperness is a Good Thing went closer and checked the note at the door. “The Bends,” she read aloud. “Ask, and ye shall receive (otherwise known as the RBC shop). Open every day – including weekends!”

“The name rings a bell… Now where have I heard of it again…” DarkTyranitar muttered as he tried to recall the details. Everyone else shrugged.

“Maybe they’re closed at this time of the day?” Hinata suggested; it was plausible, based on the absence of activity around the shop.

“Nah, the door’s not locked,” Blademaster said, pushing the door open. He went inside first, followed closely by the others. It appears that the shop was really open: a television was turned on, as well as the fans and the lights. On the counter, there was a half-eaten chocolate cake.

“Besides,” Blade continued. “Even if they do, it—”

DarkTyranitar raised one (magnet) hand up, indicating them to halt in their path. “Shh...” Everyone shrugged and stayed quiet as he scouted along the wall. He returned a moment later. “Sector clear,” he said, and motioned for the others to follow. Five seconds later, he raised his hand again to indicate everyone to halt in their path. MH and Blademaster shot an annoyed look, but they said nothing.

“Hold this position.” He went forward, where he then peered hard at the wall. To their surprise, he let out a gasp, teetered backward, as his face became as white as sheet.

“Well?” Blademaster asked and pulled DarkTyranitar up and peered through him like he was a binocular. To their surprise, he also let out a gasp, teetered backward, as his face became as white as sheet well.

“Well?” Mega Horny asked, and pulled DarkTyranitar up and peered through him like he was a binocular…

And the same goes for Hyperness is a Good Thing and Crystal Tears, until it was Hinata’s turn. She quickly resist the urge to see what it was, and – covering both eyes with her paws – began to chant “I’m not looking, I’m not looking, I’m not looking…” over and over, as the faces of the rest of the group were stuck in similar façade…


A Raichu walked into the room, holding a broom in her paws. She was humming a tune under her breath, her hands moving back and fro – there wasn’t really any need for sweeping, really, since the floor of the shop rarely gets any dust on it; but somehow, she felt that she had been lazy for quite some time now.

The broom then brushed against something hard, and immovable. She scratched her head, turned on the light – for the hallway’s light was turned off- and she instantly dropped the broom upon finding six Pokemon standing on the hallway, a blank look on their face (except for one, who was muttering to herself).

She looked towards the direction that they were looking – it was his room, there was no doubt about it – and she sighed, as she immediately knew what she should do then.

“Right…” She went behind the counter, and returned later with a large, old fashioned stereo, as well as a brand new (but old fashioned) cassette that had a few Arabic characters embedded on its cover. With a quick precise moment, she inserted the cassette, and hit the play button.

It didn’t take long for their feet to start shaking, and their whole body rocking along to the song. She knew that they were then all right.

…well… not exactly all right, since they now found that it was hard to stop themselves from moving their body along with the song. It was as if the beats of the song possessed them, moving their body according to its own will.

“Music. A whole lot of music. Of every genre, even classical and anime. Sooner or later, that block will crumble, either from inspiration or the sheer volume of your stereo.” The Raichu smiled, as she – along with the others – danced along to the song (although, for the others, it was purely an involuntary act). “Well, that’s the effect of music in destroying writer’s block… but, what do you know, it work well in therapy as well.”

“…yeah. Now – ouch! – if you don’t mi – oww! – turn off the – gaahh – wayzio, vill ya? (radio, will ya?)” Blademaster said, his teeth grinding against his tongue.


Oh my god what have I done? (Do it again)
All I wanted was a little fun (Do it again)
Got a brain like bubble gum (Do it again)
Blowing up my cranium (Do it again)

The last body-rocking-and-bum-shaking faded out as the Raichu turned off the radio – much to everyone’s relief. The group were now seated, trying very hard not to recall what they had just witnessed.

“Now THAT is what you don’t see everyday…” DarkTyranitar shuddered. Everyone else gave him an ‘oh shi- don’t remind me of that!’ look, and he was smart enough to bring the subject again (for now, anyway). Fortunately, they were doing quite well in recovering; a person’s mind has the occasional awesome power in erasing images of things they don’t want to remember – unless if someone then conveniently reminded them the said ‘need to forget’ thing. Hinata, meanwhile, was furiously munching on some 4-chan kandies bars.

“So…” The Raichu placed her paw on the – strangely enough – dusty counter, sliding from one end of the counter until she was facing the crowd, and thus cleaning the counter in the process (there was a wheeled stool down the counter). She swiped her paw on a rag, beamed a smile, and began, “This is the The Bends – also known as the R&C shop, a (former) joint venture with the Overlord from Britannia. This is the only shop you’ll find in the vicinity for the next 300 miles: we sell everything from food, to video games, to books, and – if you’re interested – protection. One of our most hot items on sale is the anime DVD – it is so popular that they held record of selling out in 30 seconds. We’re out of today’s stock, by the way. Oh, and you can find books too – novel, history, literature, yao – I mean manga – and… well… stuffs, really.”

MH let out a low whistle.

“Oh, cool!” DarkTyranitar exclaimed. “Well, you don’t suppose you have any MANPADS then, um…” he tried to look for some sort of nametag on the Raichum but found none. “I’m sorry, what was your name again?”

“Classycat,” the Raichu said, receiving a handful of eyebrows arching (to those who can). “Well… it’s kinda a long story, so…” She cleared her throat. “Right. Right. Yeah, I think there’s a whole load of them behind,” she said, pointing to a load of crates lying behind some shelves; she assumed that it was some kind of a computer part that DarkTyranitar was inquiring.

“Who’s the other guy in the room there?” MH asked.

Classycat shuffled embarrassedly. “Oh, he’s my helper—”

“Business partner!” a voice called out from the depth of his room. Classycat just shrugged.

“And, what is he?” DarkTyranitar asked, and Classycat gave him a look as if he was asking which planet are they on right now. “Um… I meant, what is his name, as well as what species he belongs to… umm, yeah.”

“Oh, he’s Roy Karrde, and he’s a Luxray… don’t mind him, he’s actually quite nice, once you get to know him.” Classycat sighed. “Mind you, he has quite an… interesting hobby… anyway, what’s up?”

Blademaster’s face beamed. “I want some coke! Dark wants… something… yada yada for the other guys. Anyway, the name’s Blademaster.” He does some mock Sword Dance movement, and then pointed at DarkTyranitar. “DarkTyranitar.” (Classycat returned DarkTyranitar the look that he gave to her upon her mentioning of her name) His fingers then went to point towards the rest of the group. “MH, Hyperness is a Good Thing (otherwise known as Hypes), Crystal Tears and Hinata.” He sniffed his hands. “And uh… we don’t stink, right?”

Classycat shrugged. “Doesn’t seems – or smell – so to me.”

“You hear that? I don’t stink,” MH said from the back.

“Uh-oh,” DarkTyranitar said, receiving him a stare or two from the rest of the group.

The Raichu blinked, noting DarkTyranitar’s subtle stench and thus reminding herself not to have a direct contact with him. She looked at the grinning Blademaster. Well… he’ll do then.

“Nice to meet you guys,” Classy smiled, extending a hand toward Blademaster. He went forward and shook her hand, but then noticed that the Raichu was grinning. Before he could guess what she was up to, she sends a low amount of electricity through her hand, causing Blademaster’s hair to stand up on their end.

“Should have remembered that old trick,” he mumbled, but then brightened up. “Anyway… coke? I sure could use some!” Blademaster said excitedly. “Hold that thought… get me a crate – you hear that right, sis! – and pronto!”

She returned three minutes later – after all, it’s not easy to carry a crate of coca cola from the storeroom all by herself. This guy is nut she thought to herself, as she watched Blademaster gulping down the can one by one, with barely a moment pause between them. “Anything else? I recommend you get them while you’re still here; you won’t find another shop in the next 300 miles, remember that.”

“Got Mentos?” Blademaster asked after his sixth can.

“Sold out, unfortunately, to a bunch of Skuntank in a van.”

“And I wonder why their breath seems somewhat… mentos-ish,” Blademaster recalled the time he was in the van. “Still, they sure could some deodorant.” He paused, and gulped down his eight can.

“Say classy-rat-ta-cat… wanna go out on a date with me?” MH asked, winking playfully. Classycat just blinked, and after realizing that the silence meant a definite ‘hell no’, MH went off to look around the shop. “So much for ‘ask, and ye shall receive’…” he mumbled as he went off.

Classycat turned her attention towards the rest of the group. “How about you guys?”

“We’ll just look around,” DarkTyranitar and Hyperness is a Good Thing said in unison. “See if there’s anything good,” they said, once again in unison. Hyperness raised a grassy eyebrow, and went off, followed closely with DarkTyranitar.

“Gimme some aspirin, please…” Crystal Tears muttered, her head slumped on a table. “And while you’re at it, I’ll have some coffee too.”

Classycat went to get the coffee machine running, and returned shortly to find Hinata, who had just finished the last bar of 4-chan kandies bar, now having her head slumped on the counter. She looked somehow depressed, despite the tremendous amount of 4-chan kandies bar that she had just consumed.

“Want me to get more of the candy bar?” She asked helpfully.

“Yeah, that would be nice,” Hinata replied nonchalantly. Just as Classycat was about to get the candy bar, Hinata got up and began to speak, “I am just pondering over this whole DPian matter. From what we have seen, it is clear that Charles Legend, Chris 2.0, and the rest of their associate take themselves as the ‘elitist’, isn’t it? It’s evident in their act; resorting to threat, violence, and their ‘better than you’ attitude.”

Classycat gave her a polite blank look, wondering whether the speech was addressed towards her or not.

Hinata continued, “So, all of us here are DPian – or at least that’s what they call themselves – that evolved from the first three generation – except you, being a first generation. And I suppose Roy Karrde is a DPian himself, because I don’t think I saw any Pokemon from the first three generation that bear similarities to what would be his pre-evolution. What I wanted to say is... why do we need to resort to such labels?”

“Labels?” Classycat asked, utterly clueless.

“What she’s saying,” Crystal Tears said, now a lot calmer after taking the aspirins. “Is that it has been a long day for us… and we would greatly appreciate not having any more idiots who think highly of themselves to be chasing us, thank you.”

Classycat snapped her finger. “Okay. Gotcha.” She then scratched her head, as something just came into her mind. It was something important... something she heard the other day.

“Hey, Roy,” she called out. There wasn’t any answer. “Hey, Roy!” she raised her voice, nearly causing Crystal Tears to spill her coffee.

“Yeah, yeah. Hold on for a bit…” comes the reply, promptly followed with the sound of keyboard being furiously typed.

“Didn’t you just say something about DP the other day?”

Roy Karrde gave a groan. “Okay, okay. I’m coming...” There was the sound of items being rummaged, and Roy Karrde emerged from his room about five minutes later, carrying what looked like a Kanto region Pokedex, except that this one was pink in colour. According to Classycat, Roy Karrde was a Luxray, and this is what he looked like: on first sight, his look gave a slight resemblance to that of a Manectric, except that his fur stood out in spikes, and was black with streak of blue here and there. His tail was long and thin, with a star-shaped cluster of hair on its rear. His face suggested that he was somehow something to be feared of (in other word, mean and lean).

So, in conclusion, he is a lion.

“Jesus Christ it’s a lion!” Hinata exclaimed upon the sight of Roy Karrde – it appeared that she had just had her share of another 4-chan kandies bar. “Everyone get into the car!”

This was followed by a confused silence. “Well… there’s no car, but there’s a van, though…” DarkTyranitar said after a while.

Roy Karrde gave a discreet coughing. “Errr… anyway, some guy gave this to me the other day… has all the data on the DPese, it seems.”

“DPese?” Blademaster asked – he had now finished all thirty cans of coke. “I thought they – we – are called DPian.”

“Nah, man. We are DPese.”

“DPian.”

“DPian.” Crystal Tears and Hinata said in unison.

Roy Karrde shrugged. “I’m telling you – I’m positively sure they are called DPese, but that’s okay, now’s not the time for debate, right? Not that you’re right, anyway…” he murmured the last part. “Anyway, you guys wanna check it out?”

“Sure!” Blademaster said excitedly. “Now, what am I called? Lickycurl? Lickyplump?”

“Lesse…” Roy Karrde pushed a few button, and the screen was then filled with various pictures of foreign Pokemon that Blademaster haven’t seen before. There were some that looked awfully familiar, though he couldn’t put his finger on it. It took him about five minutes to find what he needed. “Here you are…” Roy Karrde pointed at a sketch that depicts something that look like a Lickitung, except that it was plumper and has a curl on top of his head.

“You’re a Lickilicky.”

Blademaster forehead wrinkled as Classycat, Hinata and Crystal Tears tried to stifle their laughter. “Hah, bet you can’t say that 5 times faster!” Blade shouted, and to proof his point, he began. “Lickilickylickilickyklickyklicky-likikikilillili…”

“Err, what is Blade chattering about?” Hyperness is a Good Thing asked, emerging with a few pack of candy bar, and a trolley filled with two sack of rice, a sack of potato, and a few pack of chop suey and kuey teow (both of them a Chinese delicacy). And a lot of air freshener and cologne as well.

“His species, I think?” DarkTyranitar suggested. On top of him, packs of identical candy bar, instant-tea packs, and boxes of various random paraphernalia were floating – for a second ago, anyway, until he had overheard of Blade’s name revelation. He was now struggling to lift the items with his psychic power, which proof to be quite a demanding task.

“All right… lemme check the name for the rest of you…” Roy Karrde said, pushing the buttons rapidly. “Nosepass evo…Tangela evo… Eevee’s grass evo… Magneton evo… Rhydon evo…”

“Oh, so it’s all about giving names,” MH said, who was just done with taking a look around the shop. “I’ve figured it out, man. I’m probably called a Nosetache… or something like that.”

“Actually, you’re a Probopass,” Roy Karrde corrected.

“Yeah? Cool. I rock, heh,” MH chuckled.

Roy Karrde went on. “DarkTyranitar is a Magnezone, Hyperness is a Good Thing is a Tangrowth, Crystal Tears is a Rhyperior and Hinata is a Leafeon.”

“Alright,” DarkTyranitar said impassively.

“Okay,” Hyperness is a Good Thing said.

“Yeah. Okay.” Crystal Tears said nonchalantly; she was tremendously enjoying her dark, sweet, and lava-hot coffee, so didn’t really mind of her name – for the time being.

“I figured I’d be either Planteon or Grasseon,” Hinata said, but then managed a small smile. “But Leafeon works too.”

“Okay, now, if you’ll excuse me.” Roy Karrde threw the pseudo-Pokedex into the depth of his room, where it landed with clink, before it made a small exploding sound. “I have some business to attend…” Without the other’s knowledge, DarkTyranitar peeked on what was on the computer – he was glad it was not the same thing that he had witnessed earlier – and he mentally shook his head over what he saw.

And just when things were turning out quite well, someone just had to ruin it… One might be earlier warned that DarkTyranitar has a bad habit of bringing past event up. He was not someone to forget things so easily.

Such as now, for example.

DarkTyranitar sniggered, catching the attentions of the others. “Hehe Roy... you like to RP as a girl, huh?”

“Heyyy, that’s slandering,” he said, apparently quite offended at the remark. “I do role play as boy too, you know…”

“Girls? I don’t know about that…” Hinata went sipping on another 4-chan kandies bar. “But I’d pick annoying doll over annoying little girl anyway, desu.”

“Well…” DarkTyranitar paused, searching for the right word. “Who knows loli?”

Hinata gave a nod of approval. She turned the candy bar cover over and showed it for others to see: the case showed a picture of a bear, who was standing on two feet, with a smile on its face. “Warning for some crazy content, but Roy Karrde’s twin brother is spotted...”

“What’s a loli?” Blademaster asked. DarkTyranitar told him what it was. “Oh,” was all that he said. Roy Karrde, meanwhile was staring at the bear on the candy bar cover, wondering what the heck that thing was.

“Err…” Hyperness is a Good Thing sweatdropped, trying to keep a straight face. Crystal Tears gave a grunt, and sipped her coffee.

“I DO NOT PLAY AS A LOLI!” Roy Karrde shouted, and it would have appeared as something quite intimidating, had he did not went further with “Meanies! BAWWW!”

Blademaster’s face suddenly went red with anger for apparently no reason. “I swear to God,” he said, in O’Hagan’s (from Super Troopers) voice. “I’ll pistol whip the next guy who says loli!”


Role play is something very popular nowadays, most notable in the popularity of RPG in the video games industry (not to be confused with the Russian anti-tank weapon – the Rocket Propelled Grenade, or the Ruchnoy Protivotankovy Granatomyot in its Russian acronym – which is an equally big hit among terrorists and gangs worldwide).

As Wikipedia.com puts it, participants adopt and act out the role of characters, or parts, that may have personalities, motivations, and backgrounds different from their own in roleplaying. Roleplaying is like being in an improvisational drama or free-form theatre, in which the participants are the actors who are playing parts, and the audience.

It is also not uncommon for players to form personal attachments or friendships with the player that they roleplay with.


“Is he all right?” Classycat asked worriedly, as they hauled the manic Blademaster into the van. This all happened after Roy denied of his constant loli-role playing.

(Roy Karrde: Don’t listen to him, Blade. I swear to God I don’t play as lolis.
Blademaster: … *break into fit*)

It was a shame that Blademaster didn’t have any gun with him though – that would be entertaining to watch. Stupidity aside, they knew well that Roy’s remark was not the (sole) reason why Blade had became like this.

“Bugger ‘em, bloody idiots. Bugger, bugger ‘em,” DarkTyranitar mumbled; madness was certainly contagious. “Can you drive, Hypes? I haven’t got my driving license yet… plus, I’m kinda nervous behind the steering wheels... bugger ‘em, bugger ‘em…”

“Okies-dokies!” Hyperness is a Good Thing said cheerfully, as Blademaster sang ‘Do The Mario’, dancing along to the tune.

There was some grumbling from the back – the already small space was now filled with boxes and sacks, and they were not too happy about it. Hyperness is a Good Thing was glad that she was driving this time.

“See you later, guys!” Classycat called out just as the van started to move.

“Bye-bye!” Hyperness is a Good Thing waved with briefly, although not without some sense of urgency. When she was sure that they were out of their sight, she stepped into the gas – although she was careful not to go over 60 kilometres per hour (that’s 37.3 miles to you non-metric users).

“Nice people,” Roy Karrde said after the van was had gone over a junction, and was then out of sight.

“That MH guy is kinda fishy though,” Classycat said, making a face. “And speaking of which, I wonder what MH stands for?...” She pursed her lip. “Probably best not to think of it… Okay, let’s get back to work then… oh, and Roy?”

“Yeah?”

“How about a change of style? You’re experience in creative writing, aren’t you? Think of something new then. Emancipation! Expectation! Revolution! And… oh, I don’t know. It’s getting plain repetitive, and you know it. And besides, think about those-” She sighed. “That have either end up with bleeding eyes or deranged mind – it’s a good thing I was around when it happened this time.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault that the Magnesone has x-ray vision. Serve them right for intruding my privacy.” Roy Karrde shrugged. “Although… if I find him peeking at me again, I’ll be sure to stab him in the eyes. Or something.” He thrust an imaginary knife in the air. “BOOYA! Because I am EVER VIGILANT!”

Classycat blinked. ”Is it me, or did he just referred to DarkTyranitar as Magnesone? She mentally shook her head. “On the other hand… a day off isn’t a bad idea; we haven’t had much costumers in the past one week anyway.” She began to walk towards her room. “Anyway, I wonder where-” She stopped in her track, as a box of bleach suddenly fell from a hole on the ceiling above, followed closely by an orange-ish figure… and more boxes of bleach.

Classycat winced with sympathy. “Ouch... hey, you’re okay?” She went over cautiously, inspecting the figure that was slowly rising up from the heap of bleach boxes.

“OHMYGOD BLEACH! I GOT BLEACHBLEACHBLEACH! Yay!” The figure – a Growlithe – leapt up among the cluster of boxes, almost as if it –she, actually – was high on sugar. That was quite bizarre, since a normal person does not usually get excited over boxes of bleach.

A closer observation will show that it turns out that there’s a heap of Bleach DVD among the bleach boxes. Free Bleach DVD – from the newest episodes too – for a purchase of ten box of bleach: talk about desperation…

“Whee!” Roy Karrde grinned, running towards the Growlithe with his paws held out. “You’re back! The magnificent, beautiful… wonderful…”

The Growlithe stopped jumping, effectively managing to avoid being tackled by Roy Karrde. She sweatdropped, as does Classycat. “That… was quite creepy, Roy.”

“Well, I missed ya!”

“…it… has only been an hour, you know…”

* * * * *

Chris 2.0 was quite fine, actually. Even after he was beaten badly until he was close to death by some Probopass, and even after he had just received an annoying phone call that was quite sickening (and no, it was not from the telemarketers).

He had just sat down after he had the bruises treated when the phone at his table rang. It was very unusual to get phone call nowadays; they don’t call this place the DP Secret HQ for nothing. It might be someone from the higher administration then. But, surely they couldn’t have heard of his recent loss at the base this fast…

“Hello, DP Secret HQ. Location: Always Secret. Chris 2.0, Chief of HQ.” He waited as the line remained silent. Ten seconds passed, and the line still remained silent. “Hello, may I-”

The person at the other end of the line spoke something in a foreign language – that, to him, sounded like something like Finnish or Dutch – before ending with a very serious English swearing word that Chris had known (It was six words, starting with W and ending with R). Before Chris could say anything in retaliation, the line went dead.

Then again, there’s always the prankster... Right, he had almost forgotten about them. He hasn’t heard anything from them for a very long time already, that he nearly missed them…

Chris 2.0 has received lots of prank call before. But this was certainly not the work of his peer or his superiors… or just some mere pranksters, come to think of it. Most phone call usually goes with “Hey Chris 2.0, you suck!” or “You’re Chris 2.0, eh? You suck!”

This is certainly not them… there’s a slim chance that it might be Oz, but usually, he would have said something more significant. Say, maybe “OMGFUCKMEI’MFAMOUS!!!!1111”

He turned his attention towards the map of the Shinou region, pinned neatly on his desk. He took note of the markings on the map; so far, the orientation week was going good. They got almost all the stuff cleared up. Well… except for those that are originally from overseas; those bugger; they never understand how significant this is all about. Like the Mega Horny case; why did he have to resort to unnecessary violence?

In any case, the Blademaster ‘interviewing’ event was originally not his idea… True, it was he that called off the shot, but only after Charles Legend passed him a can of banana daiquiris, mistaking it for an orange juice. Charles, being a fan of movies, fanfictions and anime he was, suggested that Chris might want to try a brand new way of getting to know the new DPians more intimately. After all, not many gets to live through their own written story, do they?

Chris 2.0 made a mental note that he should apologize to Blademaster once he got the chance – and while at it, bringing along Charles as well – and let the Lickilicky punch the Lucario or something.

What he need when all of this bollocks was done was a nice period of doing absolutely nothing at home. He would plop down in front of the telly, and never to get up again until his mum would come in screaming.

He dialled the number to his house. A few minutes passed before the answering machine picked up the call.

“Hi! If you are getting this message, it means that I’m off doing something else…” Chris 2.0 crossed his legs as he waited for the next part – the best part.

“Leave a message after the beep. And if that is you, Chris… well, pray that I’m not cooking when I pick this up… Beep beep!”

Chris 2.0 rested his chin on one of his palm. “Um… hi mum,” he said, choosing his words with care. “It’s Chris… and, I’ll be coming back home tomorrow… Yes, mum, I’m finally quitting this job, just like you wanted, okay? I’ll promise I’ll help you at home. Um… bye mum. See you tomorrow, then.”

Before Chris 2.0 could put the phone down, he heard a whooshing sound at the other end of the line, followed with an ear piercing screech that end abruptly with the crackle of static. He sagged with relief; that would mean that all’s well at house, then. Ah, those good old days…

Slowly, he began to doze off; he was already making plans on what he would do once he got home. The first thing that he would do is to duck as soon as he opens the door – this was to avoid the frying pan that his mum would be throwing after she had realized that her son has finally returned home.

Then, without any prior warning, Charles Legend came barging into the office, guns blazing (really, he has guns in his paws; it was two wicked looking Desert Eagle). In addition to the guns, Charles Legend was donned in a red jacket, dark trousers, boots, and gloves. Charles Legend was also wearing small, orange-tinged glasses over the bridge of his nose, and he had shape his hairstyle to that of spiky. The only thing that separates him from lame and cool was the bandage around his forehead.

“Hey Chris, I –” Charles’s paws clumsily struck the trigger, sending a bullet that ricocheted around the room – amazingly managing to not hit anything beside the wall – before it hit him on his chest, dead on. Chris 2.0 nearly jumped up from his seat, but he stayed at ease when he noticed something.

Charles Legend blinked, and took out a doughnut which now has a bullet in it. “Darn. There goes my point-” His paws clumsily struck the trigger again, and the bullet was send ricocheting across the room again.

Chris 2.0, bored, decided to play along and let his eyes follow the movement of the bullet. “Too slow,” he yawned, and with a snap of his finger, the bullet froze in midair.

Before Chris 2.0 could demand for the silliness to stop, Charles Legend stood up with confidence and fired one deadly (in)accurate shot that then struck a metal pipe. There was the sound of the bullet clashing against the metal, and both Charles Legend and Chris 2.0 watched as the bullet zinged through the pipe, before it came out from another pipe, where it then hit Charles Legend on his forehead, point blank.

“Headshot!” Charles Legend exclaimed as his cut opened up to form a heavy bleeding. He impressively managed to run out of the room to show others his prowess to the others, but logic kicked in, and he fell unconscious on the floor.

A Piplup that was passing took one look at the unconscious Charles Legend, and taking out a chalk, it drew an outline around Charles Legend’s body. It then began taking pictures with its Polaroid camera.

“Sieg-heil Hitler!” it chirped. Or it might as well have been “Please kill Hitler!” or “Piplup-Piplup!”; it’s quite hard to tell. Chris 2.0 shrugged, slowly sipping his cold cocoa. It was said that even the hottest lava will turn into ice slush if Chris 2.0 desired it.

“Look at him,” he said to the dumbfounded Ricky, who was only standing near the door, watching the whole commotion with barely a word. “First it was Dragon Master, and then it was becoming a scientist. Then he was into boxing…”

“I think you meant wrestling, boss?” Ricky suggested. “Um… Dude Love and Mister Kennedy, boss; he loves those guys.”

Chris 2.0 blinked. “Yeah, them… then there was the pirate deal… and now he wants to be…” Chris 2.0 searched for the name. “Stash the Vampede?”

“Vash the Stampede, boss.”

“Yeah…” he waved his hand vaguely. “Always becoming this and that; I’m surprised he hasn’t claimed that he is actually a superhero that is destined to save the world.”

“Actually,” Ricky began, grinning. “He already did that when he was 3, boss.”

Chris 2.0 leaned closer. A laugh or two wouldn’t hurt. “Oh really? So what happened then?”

“Well… you know about the incident at the Saffron City few years back, boss?”

“The big explosion at the gym?”

“That one, boss. Mm… well, on a field trip to the gym, he sneaked off, where he then saw this gas tank – it was filled with some rather reactive gas, if I recalled correctly. And upon seeing the skull and bone mark on the tank…well, thinking that the tank contained some mighty evil force in it, he punched the tank, boss.” He began to snigger. “Boom, boss. Boom. All of his fur were gone on that day. It took him another 3 years to grow his fur back. And I’m only talking about the armpit, boss.”

Chris 2.0 nodded, and sniggered as well. “I always wondered if those hairs were real… and speaking of hair, where is Truth Love?” One couldn’t help but associate hair with Truth Love; he was probably the only hippie Blaziken in the world.

“Oh, he’s out… gone for a hike. Or so he said, boss,” Ricky replied. When Chris 2.0 didn’t say anything, he went on. “Um… he said something about settling some score with… some dude, boss…”

Chris 2.0 smiled. It didn’t matter now; tomorrow, his job here would be done, and he’ll get to go back home.


Elsewhere, a translucent figure slapped its translucent forehead with a translucent hand.

“Wrong number.”

* * * * *

Currently, DarkTyranitar was reading Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s Good Omen – it was a satire about the end of the world, and there’s an angel and a demon, a few kids, apocalypse horsepersons, and an assortment of characters that are whacky, cool, weird, or a-mix-of-those-three –he really enjoyed reading it. He found the book not only entertaining, but also good for his mental health as well – for madness that he caught earlier from Blademaster was now slowly slipping away with every page turned.

He bookmarked a page and took out a B4’s candy – candies that are shaped in the shape of Pokemon. He marvelled at the design, before gulping them down in one go. “Not bad,” he said, slowly digesting the candies. “Not bad at all…”

It might be worth mentioning how DarkTyranitar’s eating mechanism works. Contrary to popular belief, Steel Pokemon still have to eat – and not only metals, or in DarkTyranitar’s case, electricity – just like every other typical living being (and they can taste their foods too). The Magnezone and its pre-evolution lines swallow their food through a hatch (that is almost invisible to casual observer), but they need to manually eject the leftovers of the food afterwards, or their inside will get all rusty. It would be particularly dangerous if their brain became rusty, for they can then become temporarily insane – or permanently, depending on the severity of the rust. They can eject their food by two methods: either by discharging a tremendous of electricity or by initiating a self-destruct to release the tremendous amount of energy.

Which is why: a) DarkTyranitar will mutter incoherent words at times, b) he sometimes teleport himself away for no apparent reason, and c) the people around him (usually) makes mental note on the time DarkTyranitar consumed his meal.

Another fact worth mentioning is this: DarkTyranitar and Blademaster are both inflicted with mental disorder that is called bipolar disorder. It is as the potent Wikipedia.com puts it:

Bipolar disorder, once known as manic-depression, is a psychiatric diagnosis referring to a mental health condition defined by periods of extreme, often inappropriate, and sometimes unpredictable mood states.
Bipolar individuals generally experience mania, hypomania or mixed states alternating with clinical depression and euthymic or normal range of mood over varied periods of time. There are many variations of this disorder. A person with bipolar disorder generally tends to experience more extreme states of mood than other people. Moods can change quickly (many times a day) or last for months. Bipolar individuals tend to have very 'black and white' thinking, where everything in life is either a positive aspect or a negative. Mood patterns of this nature are associated with distress and disruption, and a relatively high risk of suicide. Bipolar disorder is also associated with a variety of cognitive deficits, in particular, difficulty in organizing and planning. The disorder may also skew the ability to judge others' emotion, and alter sense of awareness. Bipolar individuals can be overly observant and analytical of their environment, and in some cases paranoid of others.

To suppress the illness, they need to take an occasional dose of lithium carbonate. For if they don’t, then there is a possibility that they could end up like the legendary Kurt Cobain, who had apparently killed himself due to depression from his bipolar disorder (although some people think that he was actually murdered; DarkTyranitar, a part time conspiracy theorist does not believe in this theory), or worse. Like going on air naked, for example; yes, that was worse than suicide. At least in the case of suicide, people can sometimes trust in your so-called “self righteous suicide”. But when one appears on TV, stark naked, the only thing they will trust is their optometric doctor (to treat their now un-virgin eyes… assuming that their eyes were virgin before they did saw the aforementioned scene)