I know a few of you have read the opening Chapter to Dragonball UC (it says so in the viewed bit) and i know its no masterpiece which is why im posting here.

I wasnt expecting masses of replies since very little of the plot has been revealed (if any) and it was a very short post but rather than begging for responses, and filling up the thread with tips and advice picking it apart while people are (hopefully) trying to read it.

If you feel you can help post here or PM etc with a few pointers if at all possible. Even plot points etc will help as i only have a vague outline and im filling it in as i go. (im more of a off the cuff type of writer).