Okay then. Most of you ready this probably read "Tyler & Magmar", and are thinking, "Why the *censored* is he writing this when he's still got to update his real story?! What the *censored* is he thinking?!"
Well, maybe not in those words, but around it. Anyway, the answer to that is simple: to unwind. I have quite a few stories that I write, and having to update all of "Tyler & Magmar" not only gets stressful, but I get cramped with writer's block repeatedly. In other words, it gets frustrating.
So, as a way to unwind and use jokes that aren't and can't be in "Tyler & Magmar", I'll be writing this. The chapters will take a very long time, since they're based on my battles in ASB here. Seeing that I've only completed one, and they sometimes take months, you guys don't have to worry about it taking all of my attention.
This story is more serious than "Tyler & Magmar," but it still contains what people love in my writing: odd Pokémon. It's rated PG for Pokémon battling and mild swearing, and it'll probably stay around that level. I couldn't think of a name for the trainer, so I'm just using my user name. Hopefully, you'll all tolerate it, maybe even like it. Well, enjoy!

Prologue
Departing and Arriving


I’ve always loved Cianwood Island. Maybe because it was far away from the hussle of a major city, maybe because the beach was filled with many wonderful Pokémon, or maybe just because the gym leader, Chuck, was the nicest guy on the planet.
Whatever the reason, I was going to miss this place when I started my own Pokémon journey, which is something every kid gets to say. Kids love starting their own Pokémon journeys, leaving home and getting into much trouble with Team Rocket; also, many fall in love on their journeys. Yes indeed, kids grow up on their trips, and the only one truly sad to see them go is their mothers.
Which was why mine was holding me so near to her that any closer would result in me being behind her.
“I’m going to miss you!” she sobbed loudly, embarrassing me in front of everyone present, a requirement that all moms must fill out every week. Dad was passive, but was smiling like a proud man. Chuck, also present, was laughing at my great misfortune, as was everyone else watching me struggle from my mom’s deadly ‘love grip.’
When she finally released me, I knew then how a Pokémon felt when getting out of its Pokéball. Chuck snickered one more time, then clapped me on the shoulder. “We wish you the best of luck, young man!”
I winked, then asked, “Who’s my starting Pokémon?”
“Ah, yes!” he handed me a brown and blue Pokémon, the official Cianwood Pokéball. “I’ve been saving this great Pokémon for you, because I know it is your favorite Pokémon type!”
I could easily blame Chuck for making Fighting Pokémon my favorite. I loved hanging out around at his gym, and the Fighting Pokémon enchanted me. Their excellent skill, their talent and potential, and they had muscles harder than steel and hearts of gold to match. Even Primeapes can be good friends when you get through their tough shell.
Releasing the Pokémon, I looked down at the Pokémon. It was a Machop, yet there was something special about it. A green headband was tied around her solid forehead, and fluttered in the seashore wind. Its eyes, however, were more captivating than the stars at night. They glowed with a brilliant, light blue, and twinkled with cheer, with excitement, with love. Its semi-long eyelashes gave away this Machop’s gender.
“She has no nickname, but I was thinking you’d give her one. I’m certain you’ll give her a good one, SilverMachop!” commented Chuck.
SilverMachop was what everyone called me; it was my official nickname, replacing my real name. I received the name because Machop was always my favorite Fighting Pokémon, and of all the precious metals found in Johto, silver and gold are the two most common. I was named SilverMachop, for the most successful silver mine in Johto has the same name as my first name; what my first name was, I’m not telling. My last name was originally Pearl, but being called SilverMachop Pearl just sounds silly, don’t you think?
I had green hair that stuck out from all sides, unruly and semi-curly; I always wore a cap that had several Pokémon patches stitched on it. I wear glasses and my eyes are green, so I usually wear colors that match green. I really don’t have a sense of fashion, but blue really does look good on me, especially dark blue.
My sister, Suzanne, has normal blue eyes, and black hair that spills down to her shoulders. She was only seven, and is as sweet as honey. My mom and dad passed on their looks to her, and mine most likely came from their ancestors. I always feel different than my family, especially when it comes to looks.
“Thanks, Chuck!” I said, shaking Machop’s hand in a sign of friendship. “I think I’ll call her Mastar, for it suits her eyes! That is, if she likes it!”
“Maaa-chop!” she chimed with a nod and a smile.
My ferry then pulled into port. With no water or flying Pokémon, I’d have to travel across the sea to start my adventures. Olivine City was my stop, and was anxious to meet the gym leader, whom I knew little about. Maybe I would be able to battle on the ship, and give Mastar the training she and I needed!
Setting her down, I gave my parting hugs, and then Mastar and I walked towards our ship.
“Bring fame to Cianwood, Silver!” my dad called as I stepped onto my ferry.
“We’re counting on you, bro!” shouted Suzanne.
“Good luck!” exclaimed my teary-eyed mom.
“Come back and earn a badge from me!” boomed Chuck, wearing a bigger grin than my dad had on.
I waved back, and Mastar, walking on her own, waved as well.

---

It has been two or three months since I’ve started. So far, I’ve won and lost my share of battles, but gym leader battles were impossible! Also, catching Pokémon was so much more difficult than I thought it was, and was only armed with a team of six. A very special team of six, however, all capable of speaking English by now.
Mastar is still a Machop, enjoying her cutest and smallest stage. So far, she shows no intention to evolve. She still wears her headband, although it is stained from battles. She is by far my best Pokémon, yet even she could not defeat the gym leaders that I faced.
My second Fighting Pokémon was a Tyrogue, as active and peppy as Mastar. He has taken after his favorite Star Wars character, and loves to talk like he does. He also resembles him, for on the battlefield, he stumbles constantly and then accidentally ‘dodges’ an attack. He prefers being called Jar-Jar Binks, and gets angry when he hears the common insults directed to his role model.
The water Pokémon of my team is a headache-suffering Psyduck. She loves watching TV and playing video games, but is terrible at them, since her feeble flippers and slow reaction rate keeps her from doing well at all. Named Sailor Mercury, after her (and my) favorite animé character, Psyduck proves to be a decent fighter, even without a splitting headache.
The fire Pokémon of my team, ever since he learned to speak English, has taken after his own role model. With a fake moustache of black polish and glasses, walking around with his chest parallel to the floor and shouting witty insults at his opponents, my Magby calls himself Groucho Magmarx; he sometimes uses Swagger without even trying. He’s never abusive toward us, however, and keeps his insults to those who deserve it.
My fifth Pokémon, on the other hand, will insult everyone and everything that moves (and several things that do not)! He overuses the word ‘fool,’ and uses it almost every other word. He loves to laugh evilly and shouts that he will conquer the galaxy. You wouldn’t expect this from a Cubone, or from any Pokémon, but it’s true! With his helmet and long staff-like weapon, he has gained the name Lord Helmet, after Mel Brook’s Spaceballs character; he loves this nickname. However, beneath this hard shell of silly wickedness, Cubone is really nice. If he wasn’t, then I wouldn’t have taken him in when his arrogant trainer abandoned him.
The final Pokémon of this unique team is Abra a.k.a. Ness. He loves the game Earthbound, and always plays Ness in SSB and SSBM; we cannot defeat him, and I suspect that his psychic powers help him out when we play. He has a lot of potential, but as an Abra, he cannot fight as well as he really should. When he evolves, I believe he will be one of the greatest psychic Pokémon ever.
All of them are very bright, and have created their own moves. Lord Helmet taught himself to use a very speedy headbutt called Ludicrous Speed; Mastar can whip up a tornado with Fist Tornado; Ness creates a powerful, psychic energy bat for knocking back Shadow Balls and hitting other Pokémon; Groucho creates a fireball shaped like a cigar and throws it the opponent, exploding on impact; Mercury creates a rolling snowball that can “pick up” smaller Pokémon and damage larger ones; Jar-Jar hasn’t thought of anything yet, but he says he’ll think of something when he evolves. Into which Hitmon, I’m not sure; he’s never told us.
However, Pokémon adventuring is not as fun as I wanted it to be, mainly because I had thought that the rest of Johto would be as nice as Cianwood is. Unfortunately, they have no love for a boy and Pokémon that they cannot understand; Tyrogue is treated with intense dislike for his fondness of Jar-Jar Binks, and Cubone could provoke a Blissey into a fight.
This discrimination and dislike is so overbearing that it gets me down at times, not to mention my Pokémons’ depression. Maybe because they are so unhappy, they do not evolve. Only Mastar is able to make it through the days with a smile and a twinkle in her eyes; we all envy her.
Then we heard of a place called Pokémasters. I thought it seemed like a club for experts only, but it was really a club for Pokémon fans of all kinds! He entered for our own purposes:
I wanted to meet new people and make new friends. Ever since I left Cianwood Island, I missed talking to other people.
Mastar and Sailor Mercury wished to meet new Pokémon friends, and relax. They also wanted to find some other girls to talk too, for being with five other guys left them with only each other to ‘girl talk’ with.
Groucho Magmarx and Ness wanted to battle and evolve. Pokémasters was famous for their virtual reality arena, a place where you could battle from ‘Lord of the Rings’ locations to the Resident Evil mansion. This appealed to their creative tastes, and the fact that they might win some battles would be great to cover their many loses.
Jar-Jar Binks wanted to get away from the pointing fingers, the jeers and insults, and all of the other discomforts his infamy brought him. He was hoping to even find one soul out there who would except him as we all did, and maybe even a Jar-Jar fan too. A small hope that even he did not believe in very much, but one that made him smile just thinking about it.
Lord Helmet wanted to join this foolish club, for all these foolish members would be his foolish servants by the end of the foolish month, because he would pretend to be just another foolish Cubone at foolish Pokémasters, and then he would become their leader and then conquer the foolish galaxy with their intelligence of Pokémon!
When we joined, I was ecstatic! The people couldn’t be nicer! All of my Pokémon were thrilled too. They seemed to be enjoying themselves more than they ever had in their lives.
Except for Lord Helmet, that is. His world domination plan backfired when on the Pokémasters’ message board, Little_Pikachu closed his “masterful brainwashing topic, but that foolish, midget rodent put a foolish lock on my topic, and I can’t post in the damn foolish topic and use it to take over this foolish place!” It then hit another snag when he tried to start up the most disgusting, repulsive shippings (a belief that two characters are in love); these phony and ‘psychological damaging’ shippings would brainwash everyone into states of ‘zombification.’ However, Archaic just put them in his list like if they were common, and Cubone spent a week in the hospital when he read the complete list himself.
I was able to meet an important member when I first started. Pokémaster Ash, who is married to gym leader Sabrina, informed me about the ASB battling, and once Cubone was let out of the hospital, we decided to start battling! I thanked him very much, and he was very polite about the whole ordeal when Magby and Mastar started acting like Wayne and Garth.
“We’re going to battle in the same place Pokémaster Ash does!” gasped Groucho in mock shock.
“A Pokémon Master, the greatest Gundam Wing pilot, and he survives EngiMatikul’s remarks and Salvester2’s comments!” added Mastar.
Then, with great gusto, they got down on their hands and knees and started bowing before Ash, Sabrina and their daughter Sara.
“WE’RE NOT WORTHY!! WE’RE NOT WORTHY!! WE’RE NOT WORTHY!! WE’RE SCUM!! WE SUCK!!”
“Are all your friends’ Pokémon like this?” Sabrina asked her husband playfully.
“Is that the foolish gym leader of foolish Saffron City?!” exclaimed Lord Helmet, pointing at Sabrina with his club. “The one with a foolish, female Mr. Mime? How do you sleep at night, foolish gym leader?!”
So, our battles are going to start for real now! The worlds of Pokémon, combined with Star Wars, Spaceballs, Sailor Moon, Earthbound and the Marx Brothers, are going to fight in the most unique battlefields! No more will we be held back, and all of Pokémasters will hear of our battles!
“AND I WILL RULE OVER YOU ALL FOOLISH MORTALS! MARK MY WORDS!!”

---

You can wake up now. Prologue's done.