~Brandy Kerr~
You can't protect everyone...
:::3:14AM, Dec 22, 2012:::

I was scared.

Not for myself, even though because of the uncertainty of the situation no one could really blame me if I was. Even the sense of rising dread I felt didn't come from the fear for my own safety. This was a nightmare, true, but not for the reasons it would be for most people.

It was something I feared deeply. So many people were missing from the party, like they just vanished into thin air. We don't know where they went, or how, they were just gone. I had no guarantees that the people who were still here wouldn't vanish too, and though it made no sense I felt that if I could see them, if I was near them, somehow I could keep any harm from coming to them. I knew that was ridiculous, but I also couldn't forgive myself if there was even the possibility I could save someone if something happened and I wasn't there. Even if it meant me dying to save them. I was selfish like that, I didn't want to lose anyone, I would rather it be me.

But I didn't have the luxury of such selfishness anymore, because I wasn't carrying around just my life. I had to keep this little one safe, this unique person that was half me and half Ben. So as much as I wanted to argue, weedle or cry for Ben to not go out into that unknown, I knew I had to let him. And I HATED that.

I moved closer to him, trying to fight back the tears as I gave him a hug, cradling his face in my hands. "Honey remember that you are going to be a father, so don't let this baby grow up without you." I looked into his eyes and I knew he saw what I was really trying to say: I love you, take care of yourself...and don't leave me alone. After the fight we went through to be together, we can't lose each other now in what is supposed to be the happiest times of our lives.

He nodded and gave me a kiss on the forehead before looking back into my eyes. "I'll be careful, I love you..." I whispered "I love you too," before he turned away and beckoned to Lou to follow. Sarah and I followed them to the door, and watched from the safety (though safety was a very relative term) of the doorway as they strode carefully towards the downed plane.

As I watched them go, to keep the fear for their safety from overwhelming me I tried to think of all the things I could be thankful for, even though so much was wrong. Ben had not disappeared, neither had Sarah or Lou, that's three people I know are still here. I'm not totally alone, pregnant and helpless. I have a wonderful baby on the way. The love of my life has not been taken. My animals were....wait.

"Hey Sarah..." I whispered, as I watched the men stride off into the unknown, that feeling of dread not going away in the slightest. "Have you seen Miles?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag the three people I'm with, as well as anyone else that wants to run into the men, or check on us girls in the house