Minty Thrill (Trainer Rip-Off)

[Drago]

Rightio, first and foremost, I'd like to thank OzAndrew for the much-needed help!
Second and secondmost...well, there is none! ^^; Let's get stuck in, eh?

Minty Thrill
Chapter 1
Midday with the Master

Time. It’s something I seem to have trouble comprehending, and something that has never been my friend. If I ever met Father Time I’d beat him up and take his wallet.

For now, though, time has won. Again it has foiled me, and again…I wake up at 12 PM.
“My god…� I groan, and roll over. I grab my bedside bottle of water. “Here’s to hoping I don’t do this on Saturday.�

Saturday was the big day…Saturday was my time to shine…on Saturday I would be getting my first Pokémon. I had waited for this day for a long time. I was fourteen, and had already failed Professor Gum’s Pokémon lessons four years in a row. This time, though, I passed! Now nothing could stand in my way…
I slowly moved myself toward the edge of the bed. How long did these journey things take? A week, I guess.
Good thing I told Principal Douglas I had chicken pox. Well, I didn’t tell him in person, obviously. I assumed that chicken pox had something to do with chickens, so I just made a lot of clucking noises on the phone. Ah, another story of success… Speaking of success, I’d have to prepare my victory speech for when I defeat the Elite Door. I didn’t have much time. I mean, how hard could it be to beat up on a damn door?

I rolled again, this time completely falling from bed. I took this opportunity to grab my plastic microphone from underneath, as well as a handful of dust that looked like it was alive and scared me witless.

I stood atop my bed, cracked my neck, and cleared my throat.
“Hello, all my loyal fans!� I roared, the microphone rumbling in a strange plasticky echo, “It is I, Anthony Chambers, from Burake Town! It’s the fourth…or fifth town of our lovely world of Furudo. I have just come back from the grass type gym…� I paused for a moment. “Uh, Jungle Gym, and defeated the leader for the ninth time. That just proves what happens when Frank Furt messes with Terrible Tony! In short, I kicked his grass!� I moved the microphone away from my face, and made a variety of guffaws to symbolise the crowd response. “Seriously, though, I’m here to tell all of you future Pokémon masters out there to try your best, and never give up hope! And always remember the little people.� I moved the microphone away again, and chirped in a tiny voice, “Like me?�
I bent over. “Yes, just like you, little…Horris. I couldn’t have gotten to where I am without you, and without my legions of fans, and without the help of my loyal Pokémon…� I paused, and leant further, “My loyal Pokémon…�
Guess I’d just have to guess…
“My loyal Pokémon. I like to call him-AAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!� I bellowed as I leant too far, and fell off the bed. I headbutted the floor with a sickening thud.
“Oww…self piledriver…� I moaned, and sat up. I really should decide which Pokémon I would choose.

Time to put my amazing skills to good use. I grabbed a pen and a pad of paper. Now what could I choose from… there was that pear thing with the leaf on its head…
I scribbled down Chocolata.
Then…there was that water crocodile thing.
I couldn’t remember what it was called though, so I just wrote Big ol’ Smile.
And…oh yeah, the turtle thing.
…Yerdle.
And then there was that fire shrew thing.
…Mintythrill.
And the lizard, that was a fire Pokémon too. Wow, I was just too good at this.
…Charbladder.
And finally, there was the scary frog thing with a green fortune cookie on its back.
…Bulb-is-sore.
Now. Decisions, decisions… of course, I’d get all of them in two days, three if I was busy with a photo shoot, but to get my first few, I’d need one to start with.

Each Pokémon has a diverse range of advantages and disadvantages. Not only is there the obvious range of types, and which could overcome another in battle, there is also a blend of each Pokémon’s statistics. Although a Pokémon levels up to improve each of these qualities, it can only be as good as it knows how to be. Thusly, a Pokémon must also be equipped with the correct moves. One must avoid physical attacks for Pokémon with low attack, and elemental for those with low special attack. Other qualities of a Pokémon must also be taken into consideration. Which of the moves can it learn to overcome its weaknesses and capitalize on its strengths? If it has a diverse range, it will overcome a wide range of obstacles, whilst one still must remember that it will excel with attacks of the same element.
Above all, though, this Pokémon needs love. With a considerate trainer who’s willing to try to be something, a Pokémon can excel. A trainer who is prepared to go through the harsh days and nights, and tend for the Pokémon when it is sick. To be a master, one must remember to be a trainer.

“…Is that it?� I groaned, and flipped another page, “No wonder I never read any of these stupid books…�
I looked around, and spotted my Pokémonopoly game. I grabbed a dice from in it, and rolled it along the floor.

It landed on one. That meant… Chocolata.
That’s a bit girlish…
I gulped, looked around, and lightly pushed it over. A four, that meant the shrew.
I grinned, and stood tall. “I shall conquer all with my Mintythrill!�
There was a thud against the door.
“Shut up Chambers!� Mr. Michaels, the landlord, bellowed, “Or you’re gonna get a minty thrill where the sun don’t shine!!�
I gulped, and grabbed my pen should I need it to ward off the 300 pound blob.
“And get the rent ready tomorrow, you ain’t gonna scam me with that chicken pox excuse this time, punk!�
“…Bu-bu-buckaw?� I squeaked sheepishly, hoping I could trick him.
“Yeah that’s right, I only accept bu-bu-bucks!� he roared, waddling down the hallway.

I sighed, then it hit me. …Payday is Sunday! But that meant…
I raced over to the table, and looked at my watch. It was Saturday today! …I was…LATE!
“Aww hölle!� I shouted, and threw my watch at the closet door. It smashed in a hundred pieces.
“Aww hölle!� I repeated, when I realised that watch was from my grandfather.
“Aww hölle!� I let out one more time, when it hit me; my grandfather was dead.

I guess those German lessons did come in handy after all…

[AquaBabe727]

Bwaahahahahaa!!! He's just like me! No sense of time WHATSOEVER. Sometimes i don't go to sleep until 4:00 in the morning, sometimes i don't sleep at all, sometimes i don't wake up until noon, sometimes i wake up WAY to early. Hehehe. I know how he feels.

This fic is so funny! Minty Thrill! I luv it~ but i feel kinda sorry for him. He's so ignorant it's sad. Maybe he's like a dumb lucky type, kinda like Ash? Anyway, this character has real dimension to him, no matter how odd and twisted. ^_^ Can't wait for the next chapter, DragoKnight!

[Drago]

AquaBabe727: Wow, thank you so much for reading, and furthermore, enjoying! I spose that's one of the relations I have with the character (well, besides the name)...I have no sense of time either!

Minty Thrill
Chapter 2
The White Rabbit Rides Again

“Late?� I groaned, and threw open the closet door, “That’s so…unoriginal!�
I frantically looked through my wardrobe for something clean. I didn’t get the time to wash all my clothes often.

I eventually grabbed a big pink Barney T-shirt, Hello Kitty runners and a pair of shorts so short you’d swear I was wearing Speedo’s.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this…� I moaned, “I wore these last week!!�

I threw open my door, ran down the hall and barrelled down the stairs, almost clotheslining Mrs. Veshuan along the way.
Too bad I missed, I thought spitefully.

I crashed through the front entrance, and made a mad dash towards Professor Gum’s dinghy. …That’s right, a dinghy. Burake Town wasn’t all that noticeable, so Gum didn’t get all the perks of being a professor. Then again, he was also a captain and a licensed minister, so maybe it was just him.

“Professor Gum!� I bellowed, as I ran up to his boat, “I’m here! I’m here!�
“Arr…� he scoffed in a gruff voice, “I’m sick of all ye damned landlubbers comin’ to me classes late. I oughta make you walk the plank…�
I gave him a bemused look, and he ripped off his eyepatch.
“Fine then!� he whined, “You kids never let me have any fun.�
Now without his pirate gear, he looked just like any professor would. 37, wearing a slightly dirty white coat, and balding. His thick beard must’ve been where he stored the rest of his hair…
“Anyway, you’re too late, Tony.� He continued, “You were supposed to be here at 6. …Not 6 times 2!�
“I did not come here at 66 o’clock!� I shot back.
“Sorry kid, but I’m all out of Pokémon.� He sighed, then suddenly perked up, “I do, however, have one thing that’ll take you closer to being a master than just a Pokémon!�

He reached into his deep pocket, and thrusted out a strange rectangular red contraption. It seemed familiar, actually. Then it hit me.
“This… this is a Poké-�
“That’s right, Tony!� he interrupted, “This is a Pokékatsu brand novelty clock!�
I frowned, and flipped open the cover. …There were several foreign markings on a fading screen. I looked up to see Gum rowing frantically away.
“Of course, I’m not sure which country it’s from, but at least you’ll always know when it’s Chio Chio o’clock!� he cackled.
“Aww hölle!� I groaned, turned around and threw the clock over my shoulder.
*conk* AAARGH! *splash* *glug glug*
I gulped as to what that was, and ran for my life.
********************************
“What a gyp!� I whimpered, sitting on a stump near a restaurant, “I’m cold, alone, and missing Jeopardy!�

There was dead silence, before a rustling from the bushes. I gasped.
“This is it! The rare and elusive-�
A sub rolled out from behind.
“Sandwich?�
A blue-green claw reached out, and pulled it back behind the grass.
“Now, either that sandwich is evading escape,� I deduced, walking towards the grass, “Or…�

I glimpsed behind the grass, and there it was. A small blue dinosaur/frog/scaryass thing with the big green thingo on its back.
“Bulb-is-sore!� I said excitedly.

It looked at me, one eyebrow raised curiously. “Bulb-A-saur.� It argued.
“I can’t believe it, this is my chance to get my very own Bulb-is-sore!� I bubbled.
The Bulb-is-sore stood up.
“Bulb-A-SAUR.� It protested, this time louder and angrier.
I picked up a rock, and raised it to the air. “You’re coming with me, Bulb-is-sore,� I threatened, “Any attempt to resist is futile!�
It stomped its foot angrily, “BULBASAUUUUUUR!!� it bellowed, chewed up a piece of sandwich, and hawked it up at me. A piece of chewed up lettuce and saliva hit me on the cheek.
“Nooo!� I gasped, stumbling around, “Healthy Food Spit! Bulb-is-sore’s special attack!!�

I wiped it off hurriedly, and winded up my throw. “Gooooooooooo rock!!�
Bulb-is-sore watched my arm swivel around, and yawned. Finally I let go, and the rock soared…right at my feet.

The Bulb-is-sore shook its head as though it was going to be sick, and charged at me at full speed.
“Tackle attack!� I gulped. It was easy to remember an attack when you thought of it as a modified spear.
I looked around frantically, as the Bulb-is-sore closed in.
“Um, urg…� I babbled, “Go…foot!�
The Bulb-is-sore leapt up at me, and I did all I could! I…kicked it in the face.
It landed on its feet, and started stumbling about dizzily.
“Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuurrrrrrr……� It groaned.
If it was so sore, I guessed it was male. A female Bulb-is-sore probably would’ve slapped me by now. Creative plus number one.

He shook his head rapidly, before pointing a claw at me accusingly.
“Saur, bulba, saur, bulb… saaaaur!� He said with such feeling I felt as though I should go at war for him.

He looked at the sandwich, then looked back at me wickedly.
I gulped as he chewed on the sub, churned it around in his mouth, and turned to a large fence. His mouth puffed up, and he shot a barrage of sesame seeds at it.
They went right through it!! I looked at the message, ‘You gonna die foo’’
If nothing else, this Bulb-is-sore was a very good speller.

He turned back at me, and I did something I hadn’t done since my attempt at being a politician. …I ran for it!!

Thinking logically, it must’ve been a very curious sight to see a fourteen-year-old prancing around town in short shorts bellowing for his life as a very angry frog chased after him firing sesame seeds.

I ducked a seed that would’ve otherwise hit me in the head. I had to think quickly. I looked around, and saw a Weedle crawling along a fence. They were easy to remember. I filled Mrs. Veshuan’s room with them one time.
I snatched it up, and grabbed the pen from my pocket. I pointed it at the Weedle’s throat. Or what seemed like its throat anyway.

“Come any closer and the bug gets it!!� I roared.
Bulb-is-sore looked at me as though I just said something very stupid.
He looked to a nearby building, and shot off another sesame message. ‘I don’t care.’
“I’ll make you care!� I shouted, and took the Weedle in both hands. I thrusted it down, and hit Bulb-is-sore over the head with it like a club.

He stumbled around, before fainting. I cheered, and put Weedle down.
“We beat him, Weedle!� I cried with glee, before looking at Weedle. …Its horn was broken off.
I picked the white horn up, as well as Bulb-is-sore.
“Well…� I gulped, “You’re a Caterpie now!�

I made a mad dash for the apartment. If there was anything I had learned from school, it was that if there wasn’t a Pokémon Centre around, you should always go home to heal your Pokémon.

I busted through the front doors. “Mom?� I called, “MOOOOOM?!�
Then it hit me. My mom lived in Kentucky. And my dad worked at Kentucky, for that matter.
“Aww hölle!� I snapped, and set Bulb-is-sore down. I knocked on the door of the closest thing to a mom…
“Whaddya want, Chambers?� Mr. Michaels hacked as he threw the door open.
I gazed disgustedly at him. He was overweight, had a big pimply nose, and shot spittle every word he spoke. He wore shorts and a sweatshirt that read ‘I’m Dead Sexay!’. He had only a few greasy strands of wiry black hair, as well as some chin stubble. I held my breath to avoid his horrible stench.
If he were a Pokémon type, it’d be Poison…
“Mr. Michaels,� I gulped, “I need you to be my mommy and heal my Bulb-is-sore.�
Mr. Michaels had that ‘mental institution’ look in his eyes as I stood there. “What’s its name, huh?� he smirked, “I’ll do it if I like its name.�

I gulped once again. Bulb-is-sore’s name?
Frog…Toad…Frog ‘n’ Toad…Bush…George…
“Leaves!� I blurted out finally, “His name is Leaves!�
Mr. Michaels rolled his eyes, unimpressed.
“Leaves looks a lot like money!� I said quickly.
“Hey hey!� Mr. Michaels cackled, his fat jiggling as though it were laughing too, “Alright I’ll do it! So where is it?�

I picked up Leaves, who seemed to be regaining consciousness.
“Right here!� I shouted with a grin, thrusting Leaves up. Mr. Michaels just barely ducked a barrage of sesame seeds from the Bulb-is-sore before it fainted again.
Mr. Michaels looked at me angrily. “You want me to heal it, you little worm?� He picked Leaves up by the throat, “Ding ding ding-aling.� He spat, “And that’s all you’re gonna get from me!�
There was a snarling from Leaves.
“Hey!� I grinned, “It worked!�

Leaves took this opportunity to shoot off his last round of sesame seeds. He shot the windows, the fishtank, the bowling trophies, all while in Mr. Michaels hand.
Mr. Michaels turned very pale, and Leaves jumped from his grip. Leaves let out a small chuckle as we ran out the front door.

“Aww hölle!� I finally let out, “You killed Mr. Michaels!�
Leaves looked up at me, and shook his head.
“Aww hölle!� I continued, “You didn’t kill Mr. Michaels!�
We headed to the edge of Burake Town. It seemed like Leaves was willing to go with me, most likely to see what other trouble he could cause.
“And so, we’re off to Dezu City!� I shouted, pointing ahead. “Look out, world! Here comes Terrible Tony!�
Leaves cheered with all his heart.
“And his Bulb-is-sore!�
Leaves collapsed with a loud sigh. “Saaaaaaaur…�
“No time for apologies my friend.� I grinned, “We’ve got a Pokéthing journey to do!�

[Mew Trainer Rose]

lol, what an idiot! I love trainer parodys.

i thought he'd get a Cyndaquil, judging by the name of the fic and what he thoughtia cyndaquil was called.

[Oddish17]

I enjoyed quite a nice laugh from this parody fic
Its always fun to laugh at the stupidity of other people.
Very funny, keep up the good work.

[Drago]

Mew Trainer Rose: Thanks for reading! Well, I'm sorry if I had disappointed you on the Cyndaquil exchange... Before starting I had planned Leaves in, and I was a bit stuck on titles, and just went with Minty Thrill. Just sounds better than Bulb-is-sore.
Kenji: Thanks! It's good to know the parody genre has paid off thus far. And as far as stupidity goes, below is the first attempt at catching a Pokémon... Tony-style.

Minty Thrill
Chapter 3
Route Something or Other

With my newfound Bulb-is-sore, Leaves, I was on the road to Dezu City, the first place to fight a Jim Leader and get a badge. There were several success stories as to this, although oftentimes I wondered how many Jims there could be…

“You know Leaves,� I muttered, “You’re not gonna be walking around for long. I’m gonna get you a Pokéball soon, so don’t get too comfortable.�
Leaves shot an offensive look at me, and snarled loudly.
“Alright, alright!� I gulped, “But can’t we walk a little faster? It’s starting to get a little cloudy out here, and I don’t want to get caught out in the rain…�
Leaves looked up at the sky happily. It then hit me that…well, he liked rain.
“That better not be some weird fetish…� I snapped, “The last thing I want is a Pokémon that gets excited when the opponent uses Rain Dance.�

At least Leaves and I had developed an understanding… that cheating was good. We’d use any underhanded tricks we could, from sand in the eyes to a kick in the groin. We called it, Plan B. Of course, we’d only do that when we needed to… hopefully that’d be often.

I stepped off the beaten trail into the grass. “I better start catching some Pokémon if we’re gonna beat this Jim guy…� I muttered to myself. Leaves sighed, and sat down nearby.
“Now how do you flush out the Pokémon anyway…� I grumbled, “Umm…Maybe if I call…Rabbita! Poriddgey!�
No avail.

“Alrighty then…� I said quietly, “How about some…food!� I threw my hand into my pocket, but just ended up with a handful of Weedle horn.
I sighed, and buried my face in my hands.
“I don’t have anything to lure them out!�
Then I was struck with another idea. “I’ll make something look like food!�
I surveyed the territory. Grass, dirt, Leaves…
Hey…this could work…
********************************
“WOW!� I bellowed loudly enough for all to hear, “This sure is a delicious…uh… green mushroom!!�
There was a furious growl from Leaves, who was now a makeshift dinner. I knew that green thing would come in handy.
“It’s too bad I’m not hungry, though!� I continued, “So I’ll just have to take a little bit, and leave the rest for some other HUNGRY POKEMON!�

I pretended to nibble at the green thing, then took a big lick at it.
“Aww hölle!!� I hacked, “My god Leaves! YOU TASTE NASTY!�
Leaves looked up at me as though he wanted to flip the bird. Nearby, though, there was a rustling. I ducked low, when out came…some weird dark blue Pokémon with a big orange thing on its head. It looked rather gloomy indeed.

I shot up quickly, and pointed at it.
“Ah-HA!� I roared, before taking a whiff of the air. “Gaaag!� I choked, “That smells terrible! Gah, boof!�
I waved Leaves forward to attack. He didn’t seem to mind the smell, actually. Either that or he was anxious to kill it. He seemed to have that ‘sesame seed stare’ of his.

“Leaves,� I ordered, before pausing.
…Now, what were his attacks again? There was… uh-oh…
The opposing Pokémon shot out a strange yellow cloud of dust at a confused Leaves. He shivered lightly, and started teetering to the side.
“LEAVES!� I shouted, “Growl!�
Leaves shook off the paralysis, and snarled at the Pokémon. He then looked back at me, as though to ask ‘now what?’
I stood there blankly.
“LEAVES!� I shouted, “Growl again!�
Leaves growled on command, then looked back.
“Growl some more!� I demanded.
He let off a small groan that sounded more like he had a migraine, then hung his head low.
“Keep on growling, Leaves! I have a plan!�

And so Leaves growled…and growled…and growled… and yet the opposing Pokémon never responded.
I was about to command Leaves to growl, when I heard a sound.
“Leaves, is that you?� I asked.
Leaves shook his head, and listened up as well.

The sound was strange. Like a sort of throaty breathing. And it seemed to be coming from the Pokémon.
When I realised the situation, a huge sweatdrop appeared on my forehead.
“It appears to be…sleeping.�
Leaves fell to the ground, when suddenly I remembered.

“LEAVES!� I shouted dramatically, “Use TACKLE!�
Leaves got up quickly, and shot off at the Pokémon like a rocket. He crashed straight into it, and it rolled back dizzily.
“Good work!� I grinned, “Pokéball go!�
I reached into my pocket and tossed out…a handkerchief?
It landed on the Pokémon’s head in what turned out to be a very good shot, but unfortunately it didn’t seem to do much to capture it.
The Pokémon soon stood up, and threw the handkerchief aside. It looked at us angrily, and regained its stench.
“Yikes!� I bellowed, “Run for it Leaves!!�
We dashed off down the path and, although I was worried about what would happen, I secretly was pleased we were finally making good ground.

After a while we stopped, panting heavily. This wasn’t good. I didn’t have any cash on me, so I couldn’t afford any Pokéballs. And without Pokémon, how was I going to get money? Not to mention now I didn’t even have anything to blow my nose with. All I had left was my pen, the horn and my walkman…my very lousy walkman that I would have to pay someone else to buy.
I paced back and forth. This was so very not good. So very very not good. In fact, I came to the conclusion that this was so not good it was bad.

After several minute’s pacing, and making a small crater in the ground, Leaves let out an excited “Bulb!�
I looked up to see what he was so thrilled about, and spotted a short kid walking up to us. Next to him was a brown Pokémon with a bone in its hand and wearing…a very cheap football helmet. It didn’t even look round!
I was about to scoff at this, when I thought back to the classes. Thinking hard, I recalled that this was a Cubone! There was no mistake, this was the Lonely Pokémon. I had actually spent the class crying over it.
It was strange, though, that it had a small spotted red thing dangling from one of its spikes.

“Hi!� said the kid in a cheery voice, “I’m Richard. I see you’re a trainer too!�
“And what proof do you have?� I snapped.
Richard pointed at Leaves. “Well…� I muttered, “It could’ve been a mouldy frog.�
“Would you like to engage in a one-on-one battle?� Richard continued.
“Should I do it?� I whispered to Leaves. He nodded, and I gave Richard a moody smile. “I’m Anthony, and I’ve got only one thing to say.�
I quickly threw him into a headlock. “Gimme all your money or Leaves will Growl the crap outta you!�
Leaves gulped and shouted its name again and again at me.
“…Oh.� I said sheepishly, “You meant I should agree to the battle…�
Leaves nodded frantically. I let go of Richard slowly, stood there, and dropped to the ground and put Leaves in a headlock. “Next time, you tell me when we’re not going with Plan B!�

Richard and his Cubone looked at me wide-eyed.
“Uhh…� I squeaked, “Just giving him a friendly hug.�
Richard looked at me and Leaves, bent over to his Cubone and whispered something into its ear. Well, that is if it had an ear. Something I often ponder.
Cubone took a look at us as well, and nodded.
“How about we throw in an extra quirk.� Richard said deviously, “The winner gets $10, and…the loser’s Pokémon!�

I gasped loudly.
“Are you crazy??� I shouted, “…Ten bucks? Man, you are so gonna be $10 poorer! Leaves and I are gonna rip that wussy little brown thing apart! We’re gonna mangle him and strangle him and put him in a wheelchair. …Then we’ll take him!�
Leaves and I took a few steps back, and stared down the opponents.
Wow…that kid really is short…

“Go Cubone!� He finally shouted.
“Go Cubone!� I repeated. Leaves looked at me puzzled. “Well, it was worth a try. Go Leaves!�
Leaves and Cubone dashed towards each other.
“Cubone, start this off with Bone Club!� Richard shouted.
“Leaves…� I responded, watching Cubone lift his club, “Duck!�
Leaves ducked as Cubone raced by.
“Boone!� he snapped, and screeched to a stop.
“Now Leaves, do that Tackle thing!� I commanded.
Leaves charged at Cubone, increasing speed, and leapt at him fiercely. He crashed with a lot of impact but it was…ineffective!

“Haha!� Richard shouted with triumph, “You can’t overcome Cubone’s defence with mere muscle! Cubone, take this opportunity to use Thrash!�
I looked at Richard angrily.
He’d look a lot less smug with my fist in his mug…

Leaves, still reeling from crashing into Cubone, looked up clumsily to see Cubone dashing at him.
Cubone leapt atop him and proceeded to slap the living snot out of him with his bone. Leaves flailed about frantically trying to get Cubone off his back.
He started stumbling around like a lunatic.

I had to think fast. At this rate Cubone was going to win by just wearing Leaves out. Time to stop fighting like a trainer! Time to use what I had learned from my all-knowing mentors!
“Leaves!� I shouted, “Use Rolling Thunder!�
It was far beyond me how Leaves knew of such a technique, but nonetheless, he dived into a forward roll, throwing Cubone to the ground, then flipped down on him. Cubone bellowed in pain. I took it Leaves wasn’t light.

Leaves got up, and opened his mouth wide. He was about to do something either very drastic or very cannibalistic.
“Bulb………aaaaaaaaaaa…� he droned, as his green thing pulsed.
Suddenly, though, Cubone kicked up off the ground and stuffed his bone in Leaves’ mouth!
Leaves’ eyes watered, as Cubone proceeded to punch and kick at him. He lifted his fist, and wound up a final punch.
“Cuuuuuuuuu…� he started.
“Noooo!� I whimpered, as Leaves stood there dizzily.

All of a sudden though, Cubone stopped as soon as he had began. He looked around, befuddled.
“Alright! He’s highly confuzzled, uh…confused!� I said with glee.
Quickly, Cubone ripped the red thing off its spike and chomped it down.
“…Until he eats a Bitter Berry!� Richard laughed wickedly, “Now Cubone, put that TM to good use and Dig!�
Cubone pulled the bone from Leaves’ mouth, then span it along his fingers like some… thing that spins.
He pointed it to the ground, and started to drill.

“Leaves!� I gulped, “Brace yourself!�
Leaves grinned sneakily, and uncovered something shiny from under the dirt. He slipped it over his claw, and raised it.
“Regal brass knuckles?� I groaned, “No Leaves, I’m not talking about Plan B! Not THAT kind of brace…�

We were interrupted when Cubone shot out from underneath Leaves, and shot him into the air, the bone whacking him repeatedly.
They both fell to the ground. Cubone on his feet, Leaves on…my feet.
“Leaves!� I gasped, ignoring the pain (He really was rather heavy…). I bent over to pick him up, and the walkman fell from my pocket. It landed on the radio switch, and out came a static tune. …It sounded like some sort of pep rally cheer.

Cubone’s eyes widened, and he lifted the bone above his head. He span it again, and stepped towards us!
“Oh no…� I gasped, “This is it!�
Suddenly, Cubone threw his bone above his head. He stood there shifting from one foot to another, then caught it and marched back in the other direction.
“Cubone, NO!� Richard shouted, “You can’t do this to me now! Stop that marching!!�
Leaves slowly got to his feet.
“Now’s our chance!� I said in disbelief, “Give him…� I paused. Regular attacks wouldn’t work here. I needed something better…
“Give him The Gore!�

Leaves stood hunched, and raced at Cubone. When Cubone turned back to us, Leaves lifted his front two legs, and slammed Cubone down to the ground with him.
“I woooooooon!� I cheered, and looked at Leaves. He was tired, but happy.

Suddenly, however, there was a bright red flash from Cubone. He opened his mouth wide, and a star-shaped flame shot out!
It engulfed Leaves, who fell to the ground, char-black. It was too hopeful to assume he was just a very good pretender. Leaves was down and out.

I stood there silently. …I had…lost.
“Yeeeeeeeeah!� Richard screeched, jumping up and down, “I win, and now your Bulbasaur is MINE!!�
He ran onto the battlefield, ready to scoop up both Pokémon.

No…this wasn’t happening! I just wouldn’t let it.
There has to be some way of fixing this… how about… Hey, it might work…
“WAIT!� I bellowed, and Richard stopped in his tracks.
“What?� he snapped, annoyed, “Is it about my $10?�
“I should think not!� I said fiercely, and strolled toward Richard, “Tell me son, just how old are you?�
“Uh…10.� He replied, “Why?�
“You’re awfully smart for your age…� I said, smiling, “But not smart enough! You’re underage, I’m afraid! You can’t be a legal Pokémon trainer!�
I stomped right up to him, and towered over him.
“I am from the Pokémon FBI! I’m Agent Tony from the…� I looked down at my shirt, “Yenrab division of underage drinking, smoking, and other naughty acts!�

Richard whimpered miserably. Either I was scaring him or I had bad BO.
“Now listen up.� I continued, “You’re a good kid… So I won’t turn you in.�
“R-really?� he stammered quietly.
“Yeah…� I said quietly, “I won’t even take your money…I’ll just take the Cubone with me so you don’t get in any trouble, OK?�
Richard nodded frantically.
“Now get outta my sight before I changed my mind!� I snapped, and with that he ran off toward Burake Town.
Television…had saved me again. Of course, I couldn’t remember what show it was. I think it had a pineapple and someone named Frank. Frank the Pineapple? …Probably not...

Cubone looked at me accusingly.
“Hey,� I chuckled, “Not my fault your trainer didn’t realise he was of legal age! Why, the way things are going these days, he’s probably old enough to grab a pack of Maltybros and drink some Jack Damniels.�
Cubone looked at me wide-eyed, seemingly shocked at my…pronunciation difficulties.
“Hey, let that slide and I’ll play lots of music for ya…� I gulped. Cubone nodded happily. Which was good, because I didn’t expect him to do much happily.

After a short rest, Leaves regained consciousness, and we were ready to finish the walk to Dezu City. Why, I even had a Pokéball for Cubone, as it seemed Richard had dropped it after the battle. I decided Cubone would be happier walking for now, though.
“In fact,� I said grinning, “I even have some travelling music for us!�
Cubone hopped up and down happily, and Leaves gave a tired smile.
I pressed play on the walkman and, after a few seconds, the music started…

Cubone bounced up and down to the opening guitar bit of I’m Gonna Be.
He’s gonna love this!

When I wake up, well I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who wakes up for Xatu! When I go out, yeah I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who captures Pikachu! It was the special karaoke version I sung myself to motivate my Pokémon!

Leaves and Cubone screamed, and ran at top speed toward Dezu City.
“That’s funny…� I muttered, “I guess that motivation stuff really works…�

[Oddish17]

Haha, I had quite a laugh at this chapter. That Tony, what a goof. Very good work, its quite amusing to say the least. At least he got Cubone's name right. Jim leaders This is great.

[Mew Trainer Rose]

lol @ Plan B. so he bluffed his way into getting another pokemon from a really gullible kid. I wonder if the guy will ever do anything right in this fic.

[Drago]

Kenji: Thanks Kenji. It's good to know this isn't going to waste. And I think we should all be very thankful that Tony didn't think Cubone was Cueball! lol
Mew Trainer Rose: Well! I'm glad Plan B is appreciated, now I know what to work with. And Tony has about as much in common with right as left does... uh, did that sound right?

Minty Thrill
Chapter 4
Meet the Locals

“Well, here we are guys!� I said proudly, breathing in, “Dezu City!�
I threw my hands to the air, and almost whacked someone nearby doing so. I smiled widely.
“Isn’t this exciting?� I bubbled, and looked down at my Pokémon. Cubone was leaning against his bone wearily, and Leaves let out a puff of smoke.
“Uh…I guess you’re still a bit tired, huh?� I gulped, “I suppose we should try to find one of those Pokémon Centres before going to fight Jim…�

I returned Cubone to his Pokéball, as Leaves gazed around. He looked up at me angrily.
“Well I don’t know where it is!� I frowned, “Maybe one of the locals does…�

I looked around, and saw some guy on a fresh patch of dirt with a pitchfork.
I walked up to him. “Hiiiii!� I bellowed, and waved. He stared at me, speechless.
“I’m Anthony, and this is my Bulb-is-sore, Leaves.� I said, smiling, “We’re really tired and just want to get to a Pokémon Centre. Could you show us the way?�

He pointed the pitchfork at my face.
“Behind us, you say?� I squeaked, barely breathing.
“You IDIOT!� he bellowed, “I’ve been here all morning fixin’ up my garden, and all I needed was to rake it down a little, and then YOU come along and WALK ALL OVER IT!!�
I looked down. There were several footprints all around.

I quickly dropped to the ground. “We can fix it! We can fix it!� I threw the dirt around, trying to balance it out. He snarled when I hit him with a big clod of dirt.
“Leaves and I are very sorry…� I whimpered, “And we would like to-�
I looked over where Leaves was, but he was…gone! I shot my head back and forth until I saw him, sneaking away and cackling.
“You coward!� I snapped.
“What did you call me?� the pitchfork wielder demanded, furrowing his brow.
“No!� I gasped, “I wasn’t, you-the…Leaves, and…�
“You’re ugly!� a voice squealed from below. I looked down, to see a young boy and girl, poking faces.
“Yeah,� the girl agreed, “And your legs are all HAIRY!�
She gave me a swift kick.
“Ow!� I snapped, and stepped back.
“Hairy and smelly!� the boy followed up, kicking the other leg.
“Hey!� I whined, and stepped back further.
“Not like THAT, kids!� the pitchfork guy muttered, and lifted his fist, “LIKE THIS!�
********************************
I woke up, finally, with dried blood on my nose, and a throbbing face. I was in a hospital, it seemed. I looked around. Cubone was standing near my bed. He wasn’t tired anymore.
“You watched over me all this time?� I whimpered.
Cubone nodded happily, and indicated a thumbs-up.
“Well that’s just so-�

A nurse walked by, listening to a walkman through a set of headphones. Cubone excitedly leapt off the table he was standing on and dashed out after her, swaying his bone about.
Seems his hearing exceeded his loyalty…

I looked over to the right. There was snoring coming from the other side of a closed curtain.
I suddenly heard a loud gasp, followed by heavy breathing.
“Nooo!� a voice groaned, “Leave me alone!! Nurse! NUUUUUUURSE! It’s a ghost
Doctor come here to get me!�
My eyes widened, and I sat straight up.
“AAH!� the voice screamed, “Leave me alone!! Stop staring at me like that!! Hey! HEY! Gimme back my wallet! Hey, hey! GET BACK HERE!�

The curtain opened, and out jumped the ghost!
It was mostly invisible, besides its doctor’s coat, and where the head should be jutted a white horn.
“Save me! It’s the wallet stealing dead doctor!!� I screeched, as a claw reached out from inside, “No! It’s reaching out with its blue claw and…�
I frowned. Blue claw? I ripped off the horn, and saw that inside the coat was Leaves, staring at me innocently with the patient’s wallet in his mouth. I put the Weedle horn aside, and took the wallet.
“Looks like we’re eating tonight!� I whispered excitedly to Leaves.

A woman in a long white coat walked by.
“Excuse me, nurse?� I called, “Can I see the doctor?�
She looked over, annoyed, and pointed at a nametag on her coat.
I strained to read it over my migraine.

Doctor Simmonds

“Wow nurse, that’s nifty!� I grinned, “But can you go get me a real doctor?�
She looked down at the floor.
“It’s quite alright if you don’t know where he is,� I said understandingly, “But-�
“I AM the doctor, you half-wit!� she snapped.
“Oh…� I muttered, “So, can I go yet?�
“I suppose you’re right to go.� Dr. Simmonds replied, “I’m just about to go too…�
“With me?� I said.
“No! I’ve got other work to do than to stick around and tend to people like you!� she snapped, and snatched the wallet from Leaves’ mouth, “And it’s best you leave before you or your Pokémon do any more damage…�
There was a scream down the hall. Cubone dashed into the room, headphones on his head and the nurse’s walkman dragging behind him. He dived under the bed, leaving me to grin innocently at Dr. Simmonds and the nurse.

Luckily the nurse was a lot more understanding than Dr. Simmonds and, after she had left for wherever, the nurse let Cubone keep the walkman. She also gave directions to the gym. Fortunately, I put two and two together and didn’t ask why Jim got replaced.
Outside the hospital, I looked around Dezu City. It wasn’t too big; most buildings were the size of a double-story house, though there was one large structure that stuck out like a sore thumb.
Cubone was in his own little music world, wielding his bone like a drumstick, as Leaves moped about, still miffed about the wallet.

“I suppose we can skip the Pokémon Centre and head right for the gym, huh?� I asked nobody in particular.
I started in the direction of the gym. It was unfortunate I didn’t know what types the leader focussed on, or who, for that matter the leader was. I dared not to ask anyone, though. I had already gotten the impression that Dezu City was ‘the home of the punch in the nose’.
Past a few more brick houses, I could see the gym ahead. It looked like a big house, really. It was brick, with a tin roof and a small chimney up top.
Actually…it looked rather cheap.
“Cubone,� I muttered, “With your digging and fire breathing skills, I guess I should send you out first. It should come in handy, ’k?�
I waited for a moment, “OK?�
I looked down at Cubone. He was moonwalking, and throwing his arms around with a weird flare. I sighed, and returned him to his Pokéball, picking up the walkman as it dropped to the ground. No use trying to reason with a Michael Jackson impersonating Cubone.

Leaves and I walked up the small flight of cement steps, and I knocked on the hard wooden door. It echoed with an eerie thud.
“Bulb…� Leaves gulped, and backed up slightly.
“Don’t worry…� I reasoned, “It’s probably just the wood they use. Pine, perhaps…�
I looked closer at the door, “Actually, it’s a bit dark to be pine…unless of course they varnished it too much…�
I leant over and took a whiff of the wood.
“The hell are you doing?� a static voice blared. I looked up to see a security camera and a speaker.
“I’m sniffing your door!!� I snapped, “Is that a crime?�

There was an annoyed sigh, and the door clicked. I twisted the handle, and pushed it open. I cautiously looked around. It was a large gray room, somewhat dark due to its only having two windows.
A receptionist typed busily away at a computer.
“Do you have an appointment?� she said without even looking away.
“No,� I replied casually, “But I came here with some Pokémon and to my understanding the basic idea is to beat the opposing Pokémon up and win a badge so that I can join the Pokémon League and impress my 300-pound landlord.�
“Oh…no!� the receptionist groaned.
I frowned, “Well he may be 280, but I can’t be sure.�

The receptionist turned away from the computer. It was Dr. Simmonds!
“Hey, you’re Dr. Simmonds!� I gasped.
“I know that!� she spat, “You can’t be serious, though, about fighting Gordon!�
“I can be serious about a lot of things.� I replied, “But if I go and beat up this Gordon guy, will you give me a shot at the gym leader?�
Dr. Simmonds let out an annoyed screech, “Gordon IS the gym leader! And I doubt very much you’ll survive his challenge…�
“Oh?� I gulped, “Tell me more…�
“Well,� Dr. Simmonds started, folding her legs and leaning back in her chair, “Gordon is in his mid-twenties, he’s tall, he has blonde hair, and is real cute. He’s got a great tan and a nice butt, too…�
“About the challenge!� I bellowed, covering Leaves’ ears, “You’re disillusioning the children!�
“Fine…� Dr. Simmonds sighed in a snooty tone, “Gordon has no set Pokémon element, and is widely acclaimed to be the biggest test any trainer will ever face! He used to use a Scizor, Nidoking and Heracross, but he gave them all to the mayor when he said they were too weak! The mayor was happy, as he keeps all sorts of Pokémon. The last I saw of Gordon he was training a Larvitar, yes, a Larvitar! I can just see the glory his Tyranitar will bestow upon this gym!!�

I stood there blankly. Who, or what, was a Tyranitar? It sounded bad. Maybe it was just that everything Dr. Simmonds says sounds bad, but this particularly worried me.
“So when can I fight him?� I said shakily.
Dr. Simmonds swung back to her computer, “The earliest I can fit you in is… 5 tomorrow.�
“5 tomorrow?� I groaned, “Can’t you do anything?�
“No, I’m afraid that’s the earliest Gordon is allowing battles after his Tyranitar training. That’s all I can do.�
“Aw come on!!� I whined, “How could someone as inconsiderate as you become a doctor?!�
Dr. Simmonds swung right around, and shot an icy glare.

“Uhh…� I stuttered, “So what time did you say that was?�
“6 AM.� She hissed, “In two days. And between now and then I suggest you train, prepare your will and GET THE HELL OUT!!�
I shrivelled up as I backed away from Dr. Simmonds.
Leaves flashed the brass knux, and looked at me for approval, but I shook my head.

We walked out, and already I felt defeated.
I hadn’t been planning on staying in Dezu City for as long as I already had, and now I had to wait another two days? I had a refreshed hate for all things doctor.
I’d take their advice, of course, but don’t expect me to take any more of their prescriptions!
“Leaves…� I sighed, “I guess we should start trucking, ag, training, but first, I think I should catch some really strong Pokémon for this Gordon guy. I mean, the last thing I want is to get creamed by the biggest train on Thomas the Tank Engine…�
Leaves looked up at me with a stare I had gotten all too used to by now.
“But how are we going to get the ‘mon and train in only two days?� I muttered.
I looked down at Leaves, and he looked up at me. A grin spread across his face.
I gazed up to the sky. It was getting dark, and lights flicked on in some buildings. I strained to see the large building in the distance.
“Leaves…� I cackled, “Let’s go visit the mayor…�
********************************
“Pen?�
“Saur.�
“Horn?�
“Saur.�
“You ready?�
“Saur.�
I frowned, “Leaves, were you answering yes?�
“Saur.�
“Was that a yes or a no?�
“Bulb.�
“Oh forget it!�
I shuddered as Leaves and I huddled near the large building. This wasn’t going to be easy, and if we were caught, I’d be put in jail, Leaves could go to some frog dissectors and Cubone would…probably acquire a British accent and join a boy band.
I shuffled around to the front door, and stopped dead in my tracks.
“Leaves!� I groaned, “We don’t have masks!�

We stood there for a moment. I eventually just took off a sock, poked out eyeholes with the pen and put it over my head. I offered one to Leaves, but he refused. I assumed it had something to do with the fact that I could only see through with one eye and, should I need to, my mouth.
I looked through the glass door. There was a big room with a fountain in the center. No security guards or receptionist though.
I nodded to Leaves, and opened the door slightly.

We crept quietly, looking about, until I made it to the front desk.
DING!
Leaves looked at me wide-eyed as I pressed the service bell.
“Sorry!� I gulped, “Force of habit!�
We bolted across the room and made a mad dive into the fountain.

I strained to hear (quite a feat underwater) heavy footsteps across the carpeted floor.
“Damn kids…� a voice muttered, before returning to wherever they came. Which probably wasn’t important enough to think about.
I shot out of the water, gasping for air, and plopped onto the floor. I was tired, but relieved. Not only did we avoid getting caught, but also I picked up twenty-five cents in change!
Leaves crawled out after me, and nudged his head towards the elevator. I nodded, reached into my pocket, and pulled out the pen.
I threw it ahead toward the elevator to see if there was laser alarm equipment. The pen landed safely. I looked around, and crawled along the floor towards the elevators. Leaves followed suit, and I stabbed furiously at the button.

We looked around, panic-stricken, before the elevator finally reached the floor. We raced in, and looked at the panel.
Eight floors.
“Best we start with #1…� I decided. Leaves nodded, as the elevator doors closed. We stood there for a moment, before they opened again. I peeked out. …It was the same floor.
“I guess this is #1…� I chuckled sheepishly. Leaves sighed as I pressed #2.

The door opened to a long hall with several doors on both sides.
“I…don’t believe it!� I said with glee, “1A, 1B, 1C, 1D… Each Pokémon has their own room! And with eight floors…times that by the number of rooms on each floor… Do you know how many Pokémon we have?�
Leaves shook his head.
“…A lot!!� I said excitedly.
“But we don’t have much time…� I sighed, “We better just grab a few then split. …But which ones?�
Leaves looked at the long hall of doors, and shrugged.
I stepped back into the elevator.
“Maybe we should go to the basement.� I said, “That’s where the highest security would be.�
I pressed BF, and Leaves and I readied ourselves.

When the door finally opened, we found ourselves in a very small room with a door right across from us.
I walked up to it, and fiddled with the handle.
“…It’s locked!� I groaned.
I was about to chuck a fit, until I recalled I had the horn. I pulled it out of my pocket, and stuck it in the lock. I fiddled around for what seemed like, and very well may have been, an hour, until it popped open.
“It worked!� I gasped, “It really worked!�
I proudly pulled the horn from the lock, and…the lock snapped shut again.
“Uh…� I muttered, “Whoops.�

After another lock-picking session, I opened the door to a dark room. There weren’t any sources of light, aside from the one in the previous room.
“Let’s just find the Pokémon and get out of here…� I said nervously to Leaves.
We shuffled into the room, and I felt around.
Some packaging…some magazines…some…thing.
“Found anything Leaves?� I whispered.
“Saur.�
I groaned, annoyed.
I continued to go through the items, until I fell upon something round. I picked it up, and found that there were more.
“I’ve found them!� I gasped, “Grab as many as you can and let’s split!�
********************************
Tomorrow afternoon. Leaves, Cubone and I sat around the Pokémon Centre, who had let us in that morning despite the fact that I was wearing a sock on my head. Leaves and I were fuming, whereas Cubone knew nothing about last night’s events, and just sat on a beanbag, listening to the walkman.
I turned on the TV. No use avoiding it anymore. Leaves and I watched the report that had been going around each and every news channel for the last few hours.

‘-and although the robbers had left no clues as to who they were, they did leave a large puddle near the fountain.
Police are still sceptical about making accusations, as they are still not sure whether sneaking around a hotel, breaking into the storage room, and stealing a few dollar’s worth of soap balls is a chargeable offence. There-’

I muted the TV angrily. What a waste. That wasn’t the mayor’s office, those weren’t Pokéballs and I now added hotels to my ‘things I hate’ list.
“Well guys…� I sighed, “A dozen multicoloured balls of Palmolive isn’t gonna beat Gordon unless we’re really good pitchers or he hates bathing with a vengeance. …Guess it’s just going to be the two of you tomorrow, we should start training…�

[Mew Trainer Rose]

lol! soap balls! Then it's a good thing he didn't try any of the rooms.

[Sooty]

Wow I absolutely love this fic! Your style is terrific ^^

[Drago]

Mew Trainer Rose: Hey yeah, I never actually thought of that...
Sooty: Crikey, thanks! I didn't know I really had a style... ^^;

Minty Thrill
Chapter 5
The…Other…Gym

“Come on, Cubone!� I roared, as he charged at Tyranitar, his bone raised. He lifted it skilfully, and dodged Tyranitar’s clumsy swipes. He leapt up high, then… turned into a carrot!
“No, Cubone!� I whined, and attempted to return him, only to find that my fist was made of stone!
“Sorry, old chap…� Tyranitar scoffed, smoking a pipe, “Better luck next time…�

“GYAA!� I gasped, shooting straight up. I looked around. I was on the couch in the Pokémon Centre…A dream…
I gazed around, and spotted the clock. 3:48??
“Leaves, Cubone, wake up!� I gasped, “We fell asleep!�
I shook both Pokémon, and dashed outside. They were both still tired, and wouldn’t be too good in training.
“Fine…� I snapped, returning Cubone to his Pokéball, “I’ll wait.�
I took another step, and cringed. “These shorts are giving me a wedgie…� I frowned. Leaves looked at me wide-eyed.
“I doubt these would fit you either…� I sighed, “I guess I better buy some new clothes…�
“Bulb…saaur…� Leaves mumbled, and I checked my pockets,
“You’re right, I don’t have any money!!� I whined, “But we should look around, see if there’s any Barney fans willing to trade garments…�

Leaves and I walked through Dezu City. I don’t know why it was called a city, as it was mainly just houses for farmers and people who worked in other places nearby.
“Pardon me, boy…� I muttered to a kid walking past, having to resist asking if this was the Chattanooga choo-choo, “What’s around here to do?�
“Uhh…� he replied dully, “There’s the gym…�
“Yeah, I know,� I replied, rolling my eyes, “I have a match there tomorrow.�
“Not that gym…� he mumbled, “The…other…gym.�
I widened my eyes. This other gym sounded quite illegal.
“It’s where people here train for Gordon.� He finished, and continued on his way, pointing toward a long building. I shrugged, and walked toward it.
I pushed the door, and it…fell down.
Leaves and I stood there in front of a group of people. They didn’t look at all pleased.
“Oh no!� I gulped, shutting my eyes, “I’ve killed the door!�
“You idiot!� one of them snapped, “I simply cannot believe…
That you’d wear those clothes!�
I opened my eyes slowly, and looked down. I had forgotten to ponder just how other people felt about my getup.
“Well, uh…� I said sheepishly, “This is all I’ve got.�
He backed up, shocked, “Wha…? I can’t let that be!� he folded his arms.
“No, no, no!� the others behind him chimed.
He grinned widely, “You should wear something that just screams…�
“Wow,� I interrupted, “A screaming shirt! That’d be nifty.�
He frowned, “Screams good taste…�
********************************
I stepped out of the change room in my new clothes. A long shiny orange coat that stretched down to my feet, a tight green shirt, a silver belt, shiny black flair pants and pointy white shoes. I felt like I was Rico or something… I swiped my hand across my head, and breathed a sigh of relief to find that there were no sideburns. I looked around nervously, and licked my coat. I spat in disgust.
So much for good taste…
I walked into the training room. The others seemed impressed.
“Now THAT’S style!� the leader grinned, indicating thumbs-up.
“Yes, yes, yes!� the others agreed.
“Now that you’ve met me, dressed me and complimented me…� I said nervously, “I’m Anthony…�
The leader extended his hand.
“Jim.� He replied.
“Oh…my…god…� I gasped, “You’re Jim? …Of the gym??�
Jim shook his head, “Not really. The…other…gym.�
“So what do you do here?� I asked.
“We train those soon to fight Gordon!� he replied, “Although our humble Pokémon services are nothing compared to what Gordon is capable of…�
He shot a fist to the air. “We merely SMASH! And CRASH! And SHATTER! And BREAK EVERY BONE IN THE OPPONENT’S BODY!!�
“Super!� I replied, “Wanna battle?�
Jim and his cohorts fell to the ground.

Gathering themselves up, Jim and I stood on opposite ends of the gym.
“Here we go!� Jim shouted, lifting a Pokéball to the air.
“Go, go, go!� the others echoed.
Jim shuddered. “Guys…� he whispered, “Could you, like, uh…get lost?�
They happily obeyed, dashing into another room. “Lost, lost, lost!�

Jim tossed down the Pokéball, and out came a…thing! …With…legs…
“What the hell is that?� I groaned.
“Check your pocket.� Jim said slyly.
I shot my hand into the coat pocket with such obedience I deserved a milk bone, and my hands fell upon a…
“Pokédex!� I gasped, and pulled out the scratched-up, black object.
“Well, it’s…a little old.� Jim said sheepishly.
I shrugged that off, and pointed the Pokédex at the opponent.
“WHAT IS THAT?!!� I shouted proudly.

Hello…customer # 04195…I am…a Pokédex… Oak Laboratories thanks you…for purchasing…this fine product…we hope you will be…pleased with-

I stabbed at a few buttons frantically.

Hitmonlee…the kicking Pokémon… Using its feet as its focal point of fighting…it can kick so…rapidly that its attacks are but a…blur.

“Alright!� I muttered, “Hitmonkey!� I gazed back at the Pokédex’s screen.
“Hitmonlee then. I think I’ll use Cubone! That alright with you, Leaves?�
I looked around for Leaves, who was busy outside…shooting sesame seeds at windows around the town. I frowned.
Now where did he get more from…

I threw Cubone’s Pokéball to the ground. He shot out, stretched, and dashed over to me. He reached into my pocket, and snatched out the walkman. He switched on the radio, and a deep-voiced tenor boomed out from the small machine. He pranced slowly towards Hitmonlee.

“Cubone,� I started, “Use your-�
I stopped when Cubone ran into battle himself, giving Hitmonlee a few swipes with his bone.

Bone Rush. The Pokédex assisted.
“Hitmonlee,� Jim shouted, “Do your Jump Kick!�
Hitmonlee backed away, then leapt at Cubone, foot outstretched.
Cubone stared through Hitmonlee, then when he had almost hit him, Cubone spun aside.

Detect.

Hitmonlee crashed into a wall, and got up slowly. He stood about dizzily, and turned back to Cubone. Cubone hung his head low as though he was about to start up the Riverdance, then rolled forward to the tenor’s voice, headbutting Hitmonlee at a fierce speed.

Skull Bash.

“Hitmonlee!� Jim gasped, “Use Substitute and get outta there!!�
Hitmonlee…turned into a doll!! I stood there, confused.
Cubone merely hopped across to the doll, when an instrumental started up. Cubone set down his bone, and started wiggling his fingers happily. His claws glowed an eerie blue.

Metronome.

He closed his eyes, and a pulsing wave shot out towards Hitmonlee’s decoy. It seemed as though the air jumped in a slight bluish flash.

Psychic.

Hitmonlee’s Substitute broke, and he fell to his knees, tired.
Cubone span quickly, then charged at Hitmonlee. He lifted the great brown git above his head, and span faster.

Seismic Toss.

All of a sudden, though, the station cut to an ad! Cubone dropped Hitmonlee, confused.
“Hitmonlee,� Jim shouted, “Now’s yer chance, use your secret technique!�
Hitmonlee rose his fist swiftly and punched a music-less Cubone with great speed.

Mach Punch.

Cubone flew backwards, and rolled about a few times before hitting the wall. He was down.
I ran over to him, and lifted his head slightly.

“He’s fine…� Jim said quietly, “A quick rest and he’ll be back on his feet.�
Jim stepped through a doorway.
“Of course, if you couldn’t beat me…� he sighed, “Gordon will whoop you!!�

I snarled angrily. First he gets me this crazy suit, then he knocks out my Cubone, then he insults me! I returned Cubone to his ball, dejected.
Just then Leaves walked in, grinning happily.

I smiled…a wide smile.

“Leaves…� I whispered, “It’s time to go…so why don’t you leave the nice people with your name?�
He nodded, and fired off a sesame seed ‘Leaves’. I chuckled and dashed outside towards the Pokémon Centre.

Even if we lose tomorrow… I thought proudly, I can always shoot him full of holes with my Bulb-is-sore…

[burakkichu]

LOL!! great parody fic! ^__^; hey, any clothes are better than a barney t-shirt and hello kitty runners, lol.

[Sooty]

omg cubone won!!!
The pokedex is so cute ^^ I wanna hug the pokedex

[pictish_freak]

WOW this is one amazing fic, you've got a really really funny humour, well i can think of too say is...keep up the good work, your story's a real minty thrill!

[Drago]

burakkichu: Aww, I liked those shoes! ^^;
Sooty: Uhh, actually, Cubone lost. Sorry if I put it the wrong way. My wording sucks!
pictish_freak Crikey, thanks! Sorry if this chapter is a bit of a let-down, but I was in such a hurry, and thought better now than ever, huh?

Minty Thrill
Chapter 6
Gordon VS. Rico!

I brushed a snowflake off my coat, and stepped up to the door. It was a cold snowy morning, and we were at the gym’s door, ready for our match.
Cubone stood on one side of me, Leaves on the other. I nodded, and pushed the door. It…wouldn’t open!
“Noo!!” I whined, “I’m not gonna get in and I’m gonna die waiting out here and it’ll say cause of death: beaten by a door!”

I slammed my fist against the door angrily.
“And I don’t even know whether or not its pine!!”
I looked down at Leaves. “Help me!” I gulped, “Open the door!!”
He looked at me blankly, hopped against the door and turned the handle.
…Success! It opened!!

We stepped into the main room, and peered around. Dr. Simmonds was sitting in her chair, sleeping. I guess it was a tad early, what being 6 AM! I hadn’t woken up this early since Christmas morning last year. …Of course, that was because the room was flooded, but that’s beyond the point.
I took a step forward, and heard a booming voice from the other side of a big black door.
“Welcome, Anthony…” it cackled, “Come on in to face my wrath… IF YOU CAN! Muahahaha!! Muahahahahaa!”
There was a moment’s pause.
“Aw what the hey, muahaha!!”

I ran anxiously up to the door. If not to battle then to see what was so damn funny.
“Hey…” I frowned, “There’s no handle…”
“Yes!” the voice shouted, “The only way you can get through is with ‘the victory tune’!”

That’s not fair! There had to be some way of getting this door open!!
“Cubone!” I shouted, “Use your bone…hitty…thing.”
Cubone cleared his throat, and paced around nervously.
“Fine fine…” I sighed, and reached into my coat pocket. “I’ll use the ‘dex…”
I flipped open the black cover, but to my surprise all I saw was a screen with cards on it!
“Oh no!” I groaned, “I got an Ace-Deuce game by mistake!!”
I stabbed angrily at the buttons, hoping it would perhaps know Cubone’s attacks.

A card flipped, and ended up on 3-4-9.
All of a sudden, electronic beeping sounds filled the air. I watched on as the money level on the game increased. Seems I had been pressing ‘raise’ repeatedly. The money landed on the thousands, and ‘I’m in the Money’ beeped out.
I grinned, as Cubone attempted to get a dance out of the quick tune.

“Oh maannnn…..” the voice moaned, “That’s the tune…”
I looked up, confused, as the door creaked open.
On the other side was a big room with several markings on the floor. It was the gym room! In the centre stood a grinning fellow in his twenties. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a pair of shorts, and obviously had no clue it was snowing outside… He tilted his head over to the corner.
“Yaaaaaag!” I gasped. There was a giant green dinosaur in the corner! It stretched up to the roof, and stood there, a piercing glare aimed down at the doorway.
Funny… In my dreams Tyranitar was orange and had a goatee…
“I’m Gordon!” Gordon said smirking.
“Really?!” I gasped, “…You’re huge!!”
“Over here, you dolt!!” The human shouted, a much less intimidating figure, I would’ve preferred to battle him, “That over there is my Tyranitar! It’ll eat your pitiful Pokémon for breakfast! You should leave before you get hurt, do you REALLY want to battle me?”
“Well of course!” I scoffed, resulting in a shocked look on Gordon’s face, “It sounds like loads of fun!!”
“But, but, uh…” Gordon stammered.
“Go Cubone,” I shouted, “And show that thing what you’re made of!!”

Cubone reluctantly charged across the gym towards the great beast. He lifted his bone, leapt, and smacked it with all his force!
Such force, that it left a gaping hole in the Tyranitar!
“What the?” I gasped, “Tyranitar is the Cardboard Pokémon??”

Gordon whimpered. “Alright, I’ll level with you!” he sobbed, “I don’t really have a Tyranitar! I was training a Larvitar and things were going great, until…”
“Until what?” I asked quietly, confused beyond belief.
“…Until it ran away.” Gordon said quickly.
I shot him a look of disbelief.
“…It…died of…food poisoning.” He said next.
I stamped my foot.
“Alright I SAT ON IT!” Gordon bellowed. “But I don’t have any more Pokémon, so you aren’t getting any badge!”

I was about to argue in a furious rage, until I heard clacking shoes on the other side of the door.
“Gordon?” Dr. Simmonds’ voice came through, “What’s all that yelling? Are you about to battle? Ohhh, I’m so excited!! Kill ‘im Gordon, kill ‘im!”
Always nice to have support…

“Oh no…” Gordon groaned, turning pale, “I don’t want Mimi to know I don’t have a Tyranitar…”
He looked around frantically.
“Look kid,” he said quietly enough so that only I could hear, “If you make it sound like we’re having the battle of the century, I’ll give you the Mightbuckle!” He pulled out a star-shaped belt buckle.
“…Wha?” I gasped, “What about the badge?”
“We don’t do that anymore!” Gordon snapped, “Now we give out belt buckles.”
My eyes narrowed.
“Hey, they’re still official, just as good!” he hissed, “So are you gonna help me or not?”

I looked down at Leaves, then at Cubone. Both nodded approvingly. I looked up, and also nodded.
“ALRIGHT GORDON,” I bellowed in such a campy voice you’d swear I was an extra in a cheap horror flick, “I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE AND WILL FIGHT YOU NOW SO THAT I CAN WIN AND NOT LOSE THIS BATTLE WHICH I WANT TO WIN TO GAIN A SHINY BELT BUCKLE TO SHOW OFF TO MY LANDLORD!!” I panted for breath, “Go Cubone!!”

Cubone dashed forward toward the centre of the ring. “Now, use your Bone Hit Thing!”
Sick of trying to figure out what I was on about, Cubone swung his bone about like a madman, sometimes hitting the floor for extra effect.
“Nice block Tyranitar,” Gordon yelled, “Now use your Bite!”
We all stood there blankly. “WELL?” Gordon snapped.
“Uhh…” I muttered, “MUNCH! Chew, chew…gobble gobble gobble!”
Gordon shook his head.
“Yum!” I resumed my normal voice, “Oh no Cubone! Your arm is…gone! Now I can never win the award for Best Cubone With Two Arms… Get your vengeance! Use your shouting attack where you yell at them!!”
Cubone opened his mouth, and shrieked at high-pitch.
“AG!” I gulped, covering my ears.
“Tyranitar,” Gordon bellowed over the pain, “Make it stop!!!”
I dashed up to the centre of the gym, and whacked Cubone against the skull, “That was good!” I shouted, “A little too good!”
“Use Dragonbreath!” Gordon wailed.
“What breath?” I gulped, to which Gordon shrugged.
“Bleeeeeeeeaaaaahh!” I hacked like a madman, “Bleaah bleaah bleaaaaaaaah!!”
No wonder it takes Pokémon so long to learn attacks. They’re hard to pull off!!
“Now Cubone,” I continued, “Use Bone Crush!!”
Cubone gulped, having no idea what to do, eventually sliding his bone against the floor like a rolling pin.
“Oh the agony!” Gordon wailed, “We’re losing!! …Use your Hyper Beam!”
I took a deep breath. “BLEAHAHAUHUAHAUAH! BLEAUHAUHA! BLEUHEUAHA!!” I screeched with all I could. If I really were a Pokémon, that would’ve been one hell of a Hyper Beam.

“Umm…” I gulped, trying to figure out how Cubone would’ve been able to survive that, “Wow! It…missed.”
Gordon frowned.
“Now Cubone,” I shouted, “Use a bony spinning attack!”
Cubone nodded, raised his bone, and ran in circles. He picked up speed, until he almost seemed to be a brown tornado.
I was about to express how impressed I was, until the bone slipped from his hands, and whacked me in the face.
“OHHHH!” I wailed, throwing my hands up to my nose, which started bleeding again. “OH MY GOD! OHHH! AGGH!!! OH MY….OHH…I………I…uh, WON!”

Gordon looked at me wide-eyed. “Can’t you make it any longer?” he said quietly.
“Sorry,” I said, “But I’ve gotta get out of this city before I end up being more blood than man!”
Gordon sighed, and handed me the Mightbuckle. “We’ll have a rematch soon…” he hissed, and pushed open the door.
Dr. Simmonds backed up slightly. She seemed shocked about the amount of blood. Of course, she never stopped to think about why it was Leaves and Cubone looked fine.
I slithered out for them to sort out those problems on their own, and sat down on the front step. Cubone and Leaves sat down next to me, more than ready to leave Dezu.
“What a lame match!” I sighed, then perked “But what a great prize!”
I proudly threw up the Mightbuckle, which was…covered in blood!
“Aww hölle!” I groaned. Dezu City. City…of much blood…

[pokemasterfrank]

Rushed...yet still very funny. This parody is great! You capture the stupidity of the trainer well. Very nice. Those sound effects were great! (Hyper Beam and Dragonbreath...lol...). Very nice.

[pictish_freak]

you have GOT to be kidding, that wasnt rushed was it? it was funny as every (that door thing and hyper beam remarks took me too long a time to be healthy time to recover from the laughter) keep it up! i love it ^_^ still the best fan fic ive read by the best fan fictor

~this fan fics #1 fan~

[Mew Trainer Rose]

*falls over laughing*

*fnally able to get up again* wow. the idiot sat on his Larvitar? he's just as stupid as Anthony!

[Drago]

pokemasterfrank: Thanks for being honest. Good to know it wasn't disappointing though.
pictish_freak: Whoa, I've got, liek, fans... Thanks!!
Mew Trainer Rose: Of course, only now do I realise that sitting on a Larvitar would've been quite painful!
Time, now, for Chapter 7!

Minty Thrill
Chapter 7
CHUse Your Anime Expression

I opened my eyes wearily. It was midday now, but I made extra sure that I came back to the Pokémon Centre to go back to sleep for a while. It was the hobo thing to do. I got up and stretched. I gazed down, and was surprised to see Leaves and Cubone at my feet staring blankly at me.
“You watched me sleep for six hours?” I said with a yawn, “Golly, you two are weird…”

I stepped outside, as I so often seemed to do, and took a good look around the snowy surroundings. Cubone was more than willing to go into his Pokéball. Finally we could leave Dezu City. Of course, first off I would have to go for a few free bonuses from the Pokémart. I’ve seen the ads. People join the Pokémon League, get a few badges (or belt buckles in this case), impress their friends, and get all the women. Or maybe that was from eating the Pokémon Crunch cereal. Most likely it was the latter, but there’s no harm in trying.

I burst through the doors of the Pokémart, and shuddered slightly. Leaves trudged in behind me.
“Some weather we’re having, huh?” I chuckled, to which there was a frustrated screech from the other side of the counter.
“No! No! No! No! No!” the person behind the counter cried, and whirled around.
“Dr. Simmonds?” I groaned, “What are you doing behind the counter?” I stepped up slightly. “THIEVING, perhaps?” I asked, raising a suspicious eyebrow.
“No you clod!” Simmonds snarled, “I own this store!”
“Wow Dr. S, how many jobs do you have?” I said in disbelief.
“More than you do!” she growled, “Now whaddya want?”
“Uhh, I, well, umm…” I muttered. I didn’t exactly know how to ask for all this bounty. “I sorta wanted some trainer stuff for free… Unless I need, like, tokens, or stuff, but I think we can work around that, I’ve got something veeeeery interesting that I’d like for you to see…”
Maybe I could give her some tokens I had gotten from my macaroni and cheese boxes…
They expired well over a decade ago, but maybe I’d at very least get the prize of two Transformers and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
I threw my hand in my pocket, and shifted things around. A ball of lint drifted lazily onto Leaves’ foot, and he snapped at it hungrily.
“No…” I muttered, and felt around. I pulled out the Weedle horn. The tokens were stuck onto it.
“Look at THIS!” I roared proudly, and stuck the horn in Simmonds’ face.
She backed up in fear.
Oh no! Don’t I have enough tokens?

She slid four Pokéballs and two Potion-containing beakers onto the counter.
“T-t-take ‘em!” she squeaked, shaking.
“Wow!” I said, amazed. I suppose my sheer skill at token collecting had intimidated her, “This should be enough…but if it isn’t you’ll see THIS again!” I snarled, thrusting the horn back into her face. I shifted it a few times so she could take a good look at each token. I nodded triumphantly, and marched back outside, Leaves behind me, coughing up lint.

Unbeknownst to me but soon to be knownst to you…
Dr. Simmonds threw her hands to her face, shaking madly.
“That stupid thing was all just an act…” she whimpered, “He really was crazy!” She gasped loudly, “He must’ve been a part of the hotel robbery! …So those soap balls were more important than we thought!”
She reached down and snatched up a phone.
“Hello, police?” she said slowly, trying to hold back her tears, “I’d like to report a maniac on the loose. His name is Anthony “Tony” Chambers. He’s fourteen, wears a long coat, and has a Bulbasaur. Be very careful…

He’s armed and dangerous!!”
********************************
“LA LA LA!” I bellowed loudly, rewarded with a horrified look from Leaves.
“Fine then…” I sighed, “You Bulb-is-sores sure are picky about music…”

I looked around the snowy surroundings, and then looked down at Leaves. He didn’t look cold…but he sure looked hungry!
“You know what,” I chuckled, “I’ve never fed you before!”
Leaves looked up at me spitefully. He didn’t seem to find the comic value in that.
I felt around my pockets. No subs on me. That meant no sesame seeds for Leaves.
I reached into the back pocket, and pulled out the two Potions.
“…Well,” I deduced, placing my hand against my chin, “You guys do seem to like these things…after all, it recovers poison and all…”
Leaves shook his head and sighed.
“So… Bottoms up!” I cried, and threw the bottle up to my mouth. Leaves looked at me with disbelief. I smiled a wide smile, purple goo oozing down my mouth. I nodded with approval, then looked at the road ahead.
A PIKACHU!!
This is it! We’re set for life! I saw what that Ash guy did, this is the best Pokémon in the world! I mean, it could even Thunderbolt a Geomood! If there were a Meouch around, Pikachu would fry it! This is it! The moment I’ve been waiting for! I have to yell it to the world!!
I opened my mouth widely.
“PIKACHU!!” I gargled, launching a purple waterfall of Potion out of my mouth and soaking the small mouse.
“Pikaaa…” it whined, “Chaaaa!” It squealed, and its cheeks crackled with electricity.
“Oh no!” I gasped, “It’s gonna attack! What am I gonna do? Cubone wouldn’t stand a chance against a Pikachu!!”
A bright light flashed from Pikachu’s cheeks, and a bolt of lightning shot up into the sky.
It changed direction, and was headed right for us!
This is the time that Team Rocket would say some stupid rhyme about how they’re doomed, or scream like someone had dropped a piano on their toes. …I’m gonna do what they shoulda done all that time!

“Sorry Leaves, I hate to do this,” I whimpered, “But…”
I snatched him up, and put him in the path of the thunderbolt. I shut my eyes tight as Leaves bellowed loudly. It’s a good thing I didn’t know what he was saying. It most likely would’ve hurt my virgin ears.
After the bolt had fully hit Leaves, I gulped, and took a look. He was charred and blackened, sort of like when he had been hit with Fire Fast.
“How you feelin’, Leaves?” I gulped.
“Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaurr…” was the response.
“Really?” I gasped, “Where are you sore? Don’t worry buddy, I’m here for ya!”
“Pika!” Pikachu shouted. I dropped Leaves to the ground.
“Whoops, sorry.” I said with a slight laugh, as Pikachu shot off a second Thunderbolt.

There wasn’t any avoiding it. I just had to take it the right way. …With a poem!
“Nowhere to run from the thunderbolt.
I’ll just have to take it.
I’m no dummy, I’m no dolt.
I’ll just bellow-”

I was interrupted when the blast finally crashed down on me.
My entire body felt alive with the rush. The pain came down everywhere in an instant. My vision blurred, and I couldn’t help but spasm. The thunderbolt seemed to become a part of me, until the shock finally ended.
“OH MY GOD!” I wailed, saliva coming from my mouth uncontrollably, “THE PAIN! I’VE NEVER FELT SO MUCH PAIN! THE UNENDING HORROR, THE-”

I stopped abruptly when I realised I was doing it all wrong.
I sucked up the spit, and teetered to the ground, anime-style. I instantly turned charred.

“Wow!” I cried, “That’s amazing!”
I shot back up, “I didn’t know I could do that! I know, I know… someone said something really obvious…”
I fell down instantly, anime-style.
“Woow!” I bubbled, “Ooh, I gotta try this one; I just realised my efforts are futile!”
A large sweatdrop appeared on my forehead, anime-style.
I leapt up and down with glee, “It didn’t work the way I wanted it to!”
My mouth contorted into a beak shape and I breathed out a small mushroom cloud, anime-style. It even came with a sound effect!

Pikachu looked at me wide-eyed.
“What?” I whined, “I’ve never done this before! It’s sooo much fun!!”
Pikachu furrowed its brow, and screeched loudly. I covered my ears, as Leaves cringed.
Pikachu smiled malevolently, as a second Pikachu popped up from under the snow. …And a Richu. …And a Pichu. …And a Pikachu. …And a Richu. …And a Pikachu. …And another Richu.
They looked at Leaves and I sinisterly, their cheeks crackling with energy.
“Aww hölle.” I squeaked, and looked around frantically.
My eyes became wide as dinner plates and gushes of tears flew from them, my mouth filling up the rest of my chin, and a red stripy background flying by behind me…anime-style.
I couldn’t resist. I just had to.

Leaves and I started to run for all we were worth off the side of the route. We crossed over a few hedges and shrubs, the ‘chus quick to follow.
“Pokédex!” I shouted, still running, and pulling out the black pocket-filler, “What’s faster, a Bulb-is-sore or a Richu?”
There was a pause before the response.

What in hell’s bells…is a Rich U? Until you learn…the difference between a Raichu and a wealthy vowel, I can’t help you.

I sighed angrily, and crammed it back into my pocket. While my hand was in there, I came across the four Pokéballs.
“A-ha!” I grinned, screeching to a stop. Leaves stopped too, shouting as though he were wondering why I was so suicidal at times.

“Never fear, Leaves!” I bellowed, “Tony the Terrible is about to make his first catch!”
I looked at the opposing side. Twelve Pikachus, five Pichus and thirteen Raichus.
“Uhh…” I gulped, looking down at Leaves, “Which should I start with?”
“Stop!” a Raichu said in a buzzing voice. I gasped, then noticed the small device on its collar. A translating device, I’d wager. I came to this conclusion when I realised it translated. …And it was a device.
“Stop running and let us do what we have to!” it continued. I looked over at the other ‘chus. They grinned fiendishly.
“No way!” I cried, “I’m not gonna let you do it!”
The Raichu looked at me angrily, and hopped on another Raichu’s shoulders. It, in turn, jumped onto the shoulders of another Raichu, and the Raichu tower walked up to me, roughly at my height.
“How do you think you’re gonna get away?” it snarled in my face.

“Uhh…” I gulped.
Time to use the best I’ve got…
My mouth went into a beak shape, and I breathed a mushroom cloud into its face. The Raichu tower collapsed, befuddled, and I continued running. Leaves followed suit, being sure to poke his tongue out at them first.
“Go! Go!” the Raichu cried, “Get ‘em! We can’t let ‘em get away!”

“Leaves!” I panted, gasping for air, “I don’t know how much longer I can go!”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out Cubone’s Pokéball.
“Go Cubone!” I wailed, “Hold ‘em off as long as you can!”
Cubone shot out in a blast of white light and snarled at the opposing mice. The lead Raichu stopped, and fiddled with its translator. There was a static sound, then it came.
I love you…you love me…we’re a happy family…
Cubone couldn’t resist, and started doing the Barney march.
I groaned, and returned Cubone, defeated.

“Alright, alright!” I moaned, falling into the snow, “I can’t run anymore… Do your dastardly deed…”
The lead Raichu stormed up. I threw my hands to my face, as Leaves covered his eyes.
The Raichu reached into the snow and pulled out…

“A Santa Claus hat and a conductor’s stick?” I muttered, confused.
The other ‘chus reached into the snow and each grabbed a sheet of paper and an elf hat.
The Raichu tapped its stick against its paw a few times, then flailed it around.
“Chu chu chu, chu chu chu, chu chu chu, chu chu!” the ‘chus happily sang to the tune of Jingle Bells, although it sounded more like a bad train imitation.

“Chu chu chu chu chu chu chuuuuuuuuuuuuu…” they finished, and grinned widely.
The Raichu turned toward me, and bowed, “Happy holidays, mate.” He buzzed, and then jumped back into the snow. The other chu’s also leapt into the snow.

Leaves and I sat there blankly.
“…Carollers are early this year.” I eventually muttered.

Kyle
********************
I shifted the Pokéballs on my belt as I stepped out of the police station. My pale police uniform seemed to complement the dull building walls. I looked down at my nametag, and sighed. ‘Trainee’…
I found it sort of maddening that they should assign a fourteen year old trainee to tackle a madman alone. They wouldn’t get a present from me this year.
I nodded as I went through the description. Bulbasaur, fourteen, Anthony. Didn’t pick up his last name, but that there was all I needed. This assignment would surely get me a spot as a proper Dezu City officer.
I trudged through the snow to the route to Kurabusu City.
“Be prepared, Tony…” I cackled to myself, “Kyle Riddells is on the job…”

[pokemasterfrank]

This was great! You portray the complete moron in such a wonderous way! Very nice. It's a wonder this guy is still up and around. Kyle Riddells better watch where he's going...

[Mew Trainer Rose]

o_O what in the world was up with those 'chus? and will that idiot ever get rid of that stupid Weedle horn?
if he does , he'll be in trouble, he uses that for everything.

[Drago]

pokemasterfrank: lol, Kyle is the one who should have the least worries! Thanks, btw, I try to be as moronic as I can!
Mew Trainer Rose: They're 'chus! Evil is all they know! And I'm not giving up the horn. Never never never! Thanks for your continued support!

Well, since exams are over, and I've got a lot more creative juices a-flowin', expect for there to be a lot more chapters churned out, starting (obviously) with number 8!
It's 'illin, it's chillin, it's Minty Thrillin'! (Corny, yes, but I liked it!) ^_^

Minty Thrill
Chapter 8
Flippin’ the Bird

Snow. White, wet, weary… and damned cold!!

Every step I took seemed to be against me ever getting to Kurasable… Kuranassee… wherever I was going!
Leaves and Cubone struggled alongside me through the harsh weather. Why did I bother sending Cubone out? I dunno. For a cheap laugh, probably.

“Think this road is much longer?” I yelled over the harsh wind.
“Saaaaaaur!” Leaves shouted.
A surprising response, truly.

I strained my eyes to see further through the white fury. From where I was, it looked like there was a house nearby!
“What luck!” I grinned, “A place for me to burst into uninvited and get such hospitality you would’ve thought I had just saved their baby from being eaten by a wild mongoose!”
Leaves and Cubone gazed up at me.
“…I watch a lot of TV!” I muttered, as I stood in front of the door.
It was a relatively large log cabin, with a window on the front wall, as well as one on the door.

I pressed my face against the window, trying to get a good look through the frost that had developed.
Inside there appeared to be a blazing fire, a few couches, and a Christmas tree. It looked pretty inviting. A figure moved around. There was definitely someone in there!
I pulled my face away from the window, when I noticed something odd. My tongue appeared to be…stuck!

“Unnnnnnngh!!” I bellowed, waving my arms around. Cubone leapt onto my shoulder, attempting to pull my head away.
“Muuuh! Muuuh! Muuuuuuuuuuuh!” I groaned, each tug seeming to make my tongue grow two inches longer. This wasn’t good. I intended to have a tongue by the end of this journey!
Leaves sighed, and slammed his head against the door, annoyed.
My eyes widened, as the figure inside got up from their chair and walked towards the door!
Leaves gulped, and dived into a nearby bank of snow, no doubt crashing into an annoyed ‘chu caroller.

An old, bald man with glasses opened the door, and his eyes widened.
“The hell are you doing?” he snapped.
“I’m needing your help now!” I tried to whimper, but it sounded more like “I eeda ou ilow!”
“You’re eating my window?!” the man gasped, “Boy, you kids these days sure are hungry…”
“Oh please, get me off it!” I tried, ending up with “Ohpe, E me o’ i’!”
“Open and cough quick?” the man said, and shrugged, “Whatever you say kid…”
He slammed the door shut, and walked inside. My eyes widened as a figure inside grabbed the window, and, with what I’m sure was a malevolent grin, coughed loudly, drowning out my cries for him not to open the window.
His hands tensed, and the window flew open like a rocket!
********************************
I sat in the favourite, overstuffed armchair of Hank, the old man. I had a towel over my shoulders, and my feet were in a bucket of hot water.

There was a throbbing pain in my tongue, or what was left of it, and I shot a spiteful look at Leaves and Cubone, happily lazing about on beanbags.
“My, my, my!” Hank moaned, feeling my forehead, “Can’t tell ya how sorry I am, kiddo!” In my current lack of tongue, I couldn’t tell him my name, my condition, or just how much I’d like to pop him one.

“Boooooone!” Cubone shouted, waving his arms up and down. I sighed, and pulled the walkman from my pocket. I threw it over to him, and he turned up the volume to full blast.
I don’t think the headphones can handle that much sound… I thought to myself, as it would be pointless to try warning him.
He flipped it onto the radio, and my prediction was correct. The sound came across too loud, and as a result, poor Cubone got an earful of a high screeching sound.

Cubone fell back off the beanbag as the screeching was heard across the room, and Leaves chuckled wickedly.
“They’re here!” Hank bellowed, and pulled out a rifle. He waved it nervously across the room.
“What’re you doing?!” I gasped, but of course, ended up with “Ahah oo ooig?”
“Whassat?” Hank gulped, looking at me, and inadvertently pointing the gun right in my face, “Do you see ‘em?”

I shook my head furiously, and pointed desperately at the walkman.
“They’re in the floor, is they?” Hank roared, and shot at the floor as though he were a very upset exterminator, “DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!”

“It’s the walkman, you freak of nature!” I snapped, and, as luck should have it, he understood perfectly.
Relieved, he threw the gun aside. It shot off, and almost gave Cubone a new reason to be unhappy.
“Phew…” he sighed, wiping his forehead, “Thought they were back…”
“Who?” I asked, curiously, not caring at all that Cubone and Leaves were sitting there, wide-eyed.
“Those dadgern Natu…” Hank said with a cough, “They’ve been goin’ around everywhere, causin’ all sorts of trouble! They stole me scarecrow, as well as Reverend Areless’ toupee!”
I nodded. No surprise Revered Hairless needed a wig.
“It’s too bad,” Hank sighed, “Areless just bought that toupee too. Surprised he managed to get away, that’s about the time all them Natu started going off their rockers. Areless was a lot tougher back when he was a scientist, I tell you what, he wouldn’t have taken that from a bunch of birds!”
There was a loud pelt of hail against the wall. “Anyway, I reckon you oughta stay here for the night… Tomorrow you can come to the Kuradezu award presentation. It’s where all the community service fellers come and get a certificate for cleanin’ up this route.”
“So why do they call it Kuradezu?” I asked, interested.
“Well, it’s located between Dezu City and Kurabusu.” He replied, “That way people from both towns can get there pretty easily.”

We had a somewhat small dinner at Hank’s. He didn’t have too much money, so he wouldn’t let us take too much food. Of course, Leaves managed to trick Hank into thinking he had only had a few bites, and got twice as much. Cubone actually went the extra step and stuffed everything he could see into his skull for safekeeping. He was learning from the master, really.
I had trouble sleeping as well, as I pondered how it was that it had already been several days, and I still hadn’t caught that Moo or Celery Pokémon the Pokédex told me about.
That, and around about midnight a flock of Natu attacked the house, the leader carrying Reverend Hairless’ mangled toupee. Hank only just managed to fight them off, as I lay under the bed, a shivering mess.
…It was mostly due to Moo and Celery, though.

The next morning the weather had settled, and it wasn’t too hard to walk to the community centre for the awards.

Leaves, Cubone and I were hovering over the food provided already, before too many people got there.
“Wow…” I bubbled, looking into a big bowl of punch, “Look at this!”
Leaves hopped up onto the table, and admired his reflection. Cubone followed, and leant over to get a good look. I grinned…until some of the food from last night fell into the punch!
I pulled Cubone away, as the hostess, Mrs. Beldemore, walked over.
“It is so nice to have you all here!” she said in a loud voice, and placed a big wet kiss on my cheek, “Your darling Pokémon are sure to attract quite a few people for this get together!”
She seemed to be the kind of woman who overdid things. She was dressed up like she was having a party for a friend, or a funeral. …Or a friend’s funeral, for that matter.
“It’s always a treat to have such fine honest youth like yourself here to join us!” she continued, scooping up a glass of punch.

I smiled weakly, until I noticed that there was a chunk of cherry pie floating in her glass.
“Mrs B.,” I gasped, “Your glass has cherry p-”
She laughed loudly, “No, no dear. Not cherry punch, it’s raspberry!” She swigged it down in a single gulp, much to my shock, and Leaves’ entertainment.

“They’re here!” Hank bellowed.
“Oh no!” I squealed, and leapt behind the table, kicking a plate of sandwiches on my way.
Hank walked in, confused, with all the community workers and their families.
I poked my head up, and blushed. I picked up a squished slice of sandwich.
“Appetizer, anyone?” I said sheepishly.

The presentation went on with the various groups being called out, their leaders making a speech about what they did and what they learned from it, followed by their supervisors saying how they performed, how we could help, and probably what he ate last Tuesday, for all I cared.
Revered Hairless walked up, grinning widely. His bald head shone against the bright lighting. I actually had to shield my eyes, I felt like it was giving me a tan.
“It is with GREAT pleasure that I see you all here today. I just know that you all put so much work into the renovations you made… Like the…gift shop you added to my church.” He muttered, angrily.
I chuckled slightly. Novel idea, that. You could buy a Jesus Jug.
“And I know, that you will all walk home, feeling like you have really done something. I’m sure your parents will take you home and say-”

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH!

Everyone in the room got up from their chairs, and ran around screaming.
“…Wow.” I muttered, “Mr. Michaels never said that to me!”

Just then a massive flock of Natu swarmed into the room like a big green plague.
They started diving on all they spotted, snatching up certificates, hats, and food.

I ducked under my chair, and looked around frantically for Leaves and Cubone. Leaves was fighting off all the Natu who threatened the food, and even managed to pull off a falling powerbomb on one of them.
I looked over for Cubone, and saw him being lifted up by several Natu!
“Cubone!” I gasped, and ran over.
“Tuuuuuu…” the Natu holding him droned, and their eyes flashed a neon blue. I was thrown back against a table by some weird force.

“Damn!” I snapped, and got back up. I charged again, only to receive the same result.

I got up, and Leaves ran up to me.
“It’s no good!” I groaned, “We can’t beat ‘em when they’re in big numbers like this! We’ve gotta take ‘em down one by one! Which one of them’s on their own?”

I looked around, to see a flock of three, one of them the Natu leader.
Hank, now out of bullets, angrily threw the rifle at them. It hit two of them, and the leader picked up speed to avoid it.
I picked up Leaves. “Time to do the Bubba Ray-Spike thing!” I shouted. Leaves looked at me, confused.
“Uhh…” I grumbled. …I couldn’t remember what the move was called!
“I’m going to do…” I mumbled, “THIS!” I threw Leaves at the Natu, and it fell to the floor, dizzy. Revered Hairless’ toupee fell from its claws, and a strange chip fell from out of it. The Natu quickly snatched it up in its beak, but got bumped from behind, and ended up swallowing it!

Just then, the Natu stopped. Some of them landed, some of them fluttered about, befuddled, but all of them dropped their booty. Cubone fell into the bowl of punch, fortunately.
The Natu all flew towards the doorway.
“No, no, nooooooo!” Reverend Hairless bellowed, “Stop you stupid things!”
He stepped right in their path, and got knocked off his feet by the huge flock.
“They’re back to normal…” I sighed, relieved.
“Not all of ‘em, watch out!” Hank shouted, and pointed to the leader, who, after swallowing the chip, seemed to be in a confused rage.

He flew around, disoriented, and I just barely ducked his lunge.
“Leaves, It’s a flying-type!” I shouted, stating the obvious, “Don’t use any grass attacks!” I stood there for a moment. There was no worry, Leaves didn’t know a single grass attack to begin with.
The Natu turned, and made another mad dive. I just barely jumped out of the way, as he zeroed in on Leaves!
“Look out!” I shouted.

Leaves looked at the Natu and, eyes widened, jumped. Unfortunately, he didn’t jump high enough, and ended up landing on the airborne bird.
The two flew around, nearly crashing into walls.
“This isn’t good…” I gulped, “Leaves can’t last up there!”
“Bone!” Cubone shouted. I looked over. In his hand was…a sub! (A sandwich, before you start asking)
He threw it over to me, and I took careful aim.
“Leaves!” I shouted, “Get ‘im!”
I threw the sub as quickly as I could, and Leaves snapped it up mid-flight. He chewed it a few times, then grinned deviously. He churned his mouth, and shot a few seeds at Natu. Fortunately, he wasn’t doing it quickly enough to put a hole in it, and it flew around dizzily.
“…Saaaaur!” Leaves bellowed, and leapt from Natu’s back into the punch alongside Cubone.
“Naaaat…” Natu groaned, whirring about. I reached into my pocket, and yanked out a Pokéball.
“Pokébob!” I shouted loud enough for everyone to hear me. I sighed, a sweatdrop appearing on my head. “BALL! PokéBALL! Goooooo!!”

I threw the Pokéball with all my might, and it bumped into Natu. The ball fell to the floor, and the button shone an evil-looking red. It wiggled around, and I stood still.

…It was several minutes later, and still wiggling.
I have to go to the bathrooooooom!
Finally, the light disappeared, and the ball stopped.
“Whoo-hoo!” I shouted, “I got a Natu!” I leapt onto Reverend Hairless’ chest. “And yooooooooou don’t!”
********************************
Hank put his hand on my shoulder, his eyes gleaming proudly.
“Well kid, you’ve saved the day!” he said, “The toupee held a device to control psychic Pokémon! Areless must’ve been developing it back when he was a scientist! Of course, now that that Natu of your’s ate it, it’ll never be the same again…”
“That’s alright.” I said, smiling, “I’ll just call him Klepto.”
Hank sighed, and walked over to the tied-up reverend.
“But why did you do it, reverend?” he sighed.
“Because you jerks ruined my church!” Reverend Hairless cried, “It was a thing of beauty until you defiled it with a gift shop! With the Natu destroying the place, they eventually would’ve torn apart that shop!”
“But wouldn’t they have destroyed the entire church?” I asked, bemused.
“No!” Reverend Hairless snapped, “I filled the rest of the church with Super Repel! The Natu would’ve mangled the gift shop, as well as the houses of all who built it! And I would’ve gotten away with it too…”
I beamed proudly.
“If it hadn’t been for this STUPID MORON!”
“Damn straight!” I shouted, “…Hey, wait a minute…”
“Well kiddo,” Hank sighed, “It’s not too much further to Kurabusu City. Should take you about an hour or two from here. Good luck!”
And so, with a new member on my team, I continued on the road to Kurabusu.

Kyle
********************
“Urrrrrgh!” I groaned, and punched the wall of the gym. I had completely searched Kurabusu City, and yet, no sign of Anthony! He had to be here! Only a complete and utter moron wouldn’t have made it here by now!”
Then it hit me.

…This guy was some sort of Pokémon genius! He had probably already beaten the gym leader, and was on the way to Attiles City RIGHT NOW!
I started running towards Attiles City.
…He wasn’t going to outsmart me! Nobody outsmarted Kyle Riddells, no matter HOW smart they are!!

[Mew Trainer Rose]

lol! she thinks he's actually SMART? couldn't be farther from the truth.

[pokemasterfrank]

Poor Kyle. I knew Andy's incompetence would be Kyle's problem. If Andy showed anymore stupidity...

Very nice again. This guy is a real Einstein...

[Drago]

Mew Trainer Rose: Well, I think he's better off not knowing just how dumb Anthony is. It won't hurt his ego!
pokemasterfrank: (I'll assume you meant Tony) Thanks. And you and me both know that there is gonna be a LOT more incompetence yet...

However, you may notice a slight change of pace, in this ninth chapter...

Minty Thrill
Chapter 9
To Train…What a Pain!

Kyle
********************
The route between Kurabusu and Attiles was an unpleasant one, at best. It was deemed safe to the public recently, but it happened to be set around Mt. Madran, making it a spiralling path to the top. From there on there was a Pokémon Centre if memory serves, before a cave into Mt. Madran. Trainers then had to make their way through the dark, mazelike interior. It remained, however, a popular spot for scientists, as snow never fell on the mountain or its path. Nobody has figured out just how that works, yet, but research has been heavily funded lately.

It was a good thing I was following Chambers, actually. This way I could also check the condition of the land, and sort out those damn vandals.
I didn’t often say that about people, as they were just as old, if not older, than I am, but I have a few special perks they don’t. I lightly stroked my baton before pulling it out.
Some police brutality…

I smiled wearily as I started up the spiralling path, keeping one hand near my Pokéballs. Pokémon were known to attack here, and aggressively at that.

I swirled around when I heard a thud behind me. I grabbed my baton, and acted as though I had more authority than I likely did.
…But there was nothing. Nothing but a rock. I walked up to it. It was as big as my foot, and very jagged. The dirt around it was still settling.
I gazed up, and gasped.

At the very top of Mt. Madran, just above the cave, were several boulders! There had never been boulders up there before, and they looked very unsteady.
“I bet Chambers’ Pokémon put those up there…” I said spitefully.

There was no time to report this, though, and it would be dangerous trekking up to the top, so I grabbed a Pokéball.
“I need you, Kuda!” I shouted, and threw her Pokéball to the ground. Her red eyes shone in the bright sun.

I walked around the mountain, trying to get the best positioning.
“Here!” I commanded, pointing at a particular spot on Mt. Madran, “Dig here!”
Kuda nodded, and quickly began to dig, her claws piercing through the rock with ease.

When Kuda finished the hole I returned her, and ran through. As I had predicted, the digging had caused a fair trembling through the mountain, and a few of the boulders fell from the top, blocking the new entrance I had made. It was as though the mountain were alive.

Nervously, I shifted through the darkness. I walked around a rocky wall and saw a bright doorway of light. I stepped slowly out of the cave. I looked behind me. There was only one way for anyone to get through Mt. Madran, climbing up top, going through the cave up there, trekking through the labyrinth, and coming out this second cave.
Attiles was surrounded by thick, government protected trees, so there was no way of going around the mountain.
I shifted my hat, and started down the short path to Attiles City.

Tony
********************

I stood on one foot, slowly. The stump I was balancing on wasn’t very even, and it was difficult just getting atop it.
“I am…mighty!” I roared, shooting a fist forward, “I am a Taurmoose! A bull!”
I twisted my wrist, before punching the air with my other fist. “I am an Arbook! A cobra!”
I span around in a heel kick, followed by a double back elbow. I am an Arc-is-mine! A big…doggy with a wig!” I stood there blankly. “Uh…something fiercer… a red zebra that doesn’t really look like one! No, that won’t do…”
I thought through the animals in my picture book from years ago (Two, to be precise)
“T is for tiger!” I shouted with glee, “I am a tiger! I am Tony!”

I leapt up and down, I wanted the world to know just who I am.

“I AM TONY THE TIGER!!” I screeched, and pulled off a mid-air axe kick. …Well, sort of. The landing wasn’t exactly spectacular. I stumbled around, trying to regain balance.

“Whoa…whoooooa!” I wailed, and fell backwards off the stump. I landed heavily on Cubone, who screeched loudly, flailing his arms.

Klepto watched on, wide-eyed. He flapped his wings once, hopping from one foot to the other. I had noticed that he didn’t like staying in one spot for very long, even if that meant merely swapping his standing foot.

I got up off Cubone, who had made an imprint on the ground which looked very ghastly indeed.
“You know what that looks like?” I said dully, “It looks like a zombie named Tobias Fannhart that dug out of the ground, intent on ripping the flesh off a hapless victim, who works as a mulch farmer in Illinois!” I took a deep breath, “But then Tobias realised that he left behind the watch his wife, Janice, had gotten for him from Singapore at a very good deal from a shifty pawnshop owner, and so Tobias decided to dig back into the ground to get the watch, but found himself stopping when he questioned the value of material possessions, and that lead to a conflict on the point of life itself, so he went to a psychiatrist and became a social outcast who sells porcupine quills for the rest of his life!”

Cubone looked at me wide-eyed, as he so often did, and Leaves looked as though he was about to be sick.
Klepto twisted his head erratically, and took off to the air.
“Hey!” I shouted, and shot straight up. When I did I heard a horrible tear. I looked down, and was horrified to find my black pants had a hideously large rip in them, leaving all in attendance audience to my neon blue boxers with big yellow smiley faces on them.
“Aww hölle!” I bellowed, the boxers seeming to mock me as they grinned on.
Leaves cackled wickedly.
“Shut up or I’ll buy you a pair!” I snapped, and he stopped immediately.

I looked up nervously.
Now where did Klepto get off to? That bird needed a bell, really!
To that I heard a light chiming sound.
“What the…?” I muttered, and shielded my eyes from the harsh sun. I could make out Klepto flying back towards us frantically. In his talons he held…a bell!
He swooped down towards us, and dropped the bell into my hands, then hid behind my leg.

I looked back ahead, and saw an extremely angry very large man running right towards us.
I stood there blankly, as he closed in like a homing missile (which he also somewhat resembled) and snatched the bell from my hand.
“You little punk!” he babbled, and I pondered what his original language was. Grunting, perhaps, “Your little bird thing took bell from me!”
He gingerly rubbed the tiny bell, before shoving it in his pocket.
“You insult me badly!” he continued.
“M-m-me?” I squeaked, about to cry, “I insult nobody!”

I stepped back, and scratched my upper leg. He looked down, and noticed the large tear in my pants. He seemed to get the impression I was doing something far less innocent.

“Cheeky bugger!” he roared, and kicked me. The world seemed to be a blur. The clouds moulded together like they had been put in a blender, and the trees went a very dark shade of green indeed. All sound disappeared as I knelt over, before bellowing…
“AAG! I’ve been de-knackered!!”

I was sure that my boxers were now unhappy faces, and I slowly got up to my feet, before zipping up my jacket, hiding away the rip.

“Tobias laugh at wussy man!” the man cackled wickedly.
“AAAH!” I screeched, “It’s the zombie man!!”

I stepped back, frightened, and tripped over Klepto, who squawked loudly.

Tobias roared with laughter.
“This much funny!” Tobias said, snorting, “Not only are you wuss, but lousy Pokémon trainer too!”

I looked up at Tobias with a raging hate in my eyes.
The big buffoon continued laughing now at his own comments, which he found to be very funny indeed.

I snatched the Pokédex from my pocket.
“Right then, a battle, you and me!” I hissed.

Tobias stopped laughing. “One condition,” he grinned, “I use four, you use one!”
My mouth dropped, “That’s not fair!” I whimpered.
“Alright then!” Tobias said, shrugging, “You bigger wuss and bad Pokémon trainer than Tobias thought!”
My knuckles went white as I clenched my fists tightly.
“…Alright!” I wheezed, “One of my Pokémon against four of yours!”

I dashed a fair distance away from Tobias, my Pokémon close behind me.
“Guys, this is for our pride and honour!” I snarled, “And for puppy dogs and Charlie Brown Christmas specials!!” I roared, Tobias backing up ever so slightly.

“…Let’s boogie.”

Tobias smirked, and threw down his Pokéball.
Out came a strange gray Pokémon with something growing from its head.
“Eww…” I muttered, “Put a shirt on…”

Machop. The Pokédex informed, A Fighting-Type Pokémon.

“Fighting, eh?” I grinned, “You ready for this Klepto?”
Klepto anxiously hopped up and down, and flipped onto the battlefield.
I scan through the Pokédex’s brief list of the Natu’s current attacks.

“Klepto,” I shout, “Start with a Confuse Ray!”
Klepto’s eyes glazed over, and there was a darkness. Out of nowhere, a bright beam flashed, and Machop stumbled backwards, confused.
“Alright!” I smiled, clenching my hand into a fist.
“Buhuhuh…” Tobias chortled, as Machop reached behind its back.
It pulled out a Bitter Berry, and chomped it down!
“Aw hölle,” I groaned, “No…”

“Machop, use yer Double Team!” Tobias grunted.
I stood there, a tad confused. Why would he want to raise evasiveness when I was going to use psychic attacks?
Nonetheless, Machop darted back and forward, eventually creating multiple images of itself.

“Hahahaaaa!” Tobias cackled, slapping his knee, “I’d like to see you hit Machop now, punk!”
“Alrighty then,” I smirked, eager to please, “Use Psychic, Klepto!”
Klepto rose his wings, and his eyes flashed a familiar blue. A pulsating wave enveloped the Machops, and I got a headache just watching.

One by one the Machops disappeared, until there was only one left, who held his head, groaning, and fell to the ground.

“Stupid Pokémon!” Tobias bellowed, stamping his foot, “Stupid stupid stupid! Go, Pinsir!”
The next Pokémon he releases is a hideous and frightening giant brown bug thing with a grotesque mouth and two very scary pincers atop its head. Of course, it only seemed to be a head with arms and legs, but that was beyond the point.

“Pinsir,” Tobias said, interrupting my thoughts, “Use Submission!”

I stood there blankly. Unless I was mistaken, submission is a fighting move, and, last I checked, is lousy against a Natu.
Pinsir ran up to Klepto, and put him in a submission hold.
Klepto stared ahead blankly, more annoyed than anything else. He easily escaped from the bug’s grasp, and it fell flat on its face.

Pinsir snarled loudly, as did Tobias. “Show it who boss! Use Vicegrip!”
“Quick Klepto,” I let out loudly, “Get in a Night Shade first!”

Pinsir bent over and started charging at Klepto headfirst, its pincers snapping along the way.
The arena went dark again, but this time, Klepto’s eyes also flashed black. He flipped over Pinsir, and shot a piercing black glare right at its rear.
Pinsir’s eyes widened as the attack burnt its bum.
“Piiiiiiiiiinsiiiiiir!” It squealed uncharacteristically, running around in circles.
“No, this not right!” Tobias yelled, “Use Focus Energy!”

Pinsir stopped racing around and concentrated. Its once scrawny arms bulked up to twice their original size, and its eyes sharpened into a frightening glare. It turned back at Klepto, who backed up in fear. He looked at me, worried, and waiting for me to give him a way to get out of this mess.

“Uhh…” I gulped, and gazed back at the ‘dex. There was an attack I hadn’t used yet.
“Use Future Sight!” I said nervously. Klepto nodded, and lowered his head. After a few moments he was done, and looked back at me for his next move.

“That…was lame.”

“Pinsir, Furry Cuter!!” Tobias shouted, trying to take the advantage, and having as good pronunciation as I sometimes do.
Pinsir raced at Klepto, its claw outstretched Klepto merely sidestepped the attack, and flew up above Pinsir’s head while it stood there, confounded.
“Finish it off with Psychic!” I shouted.

Pinsir looked back up, and was met with the bright flashing blue wave that had KO’d its comrade. It fell backwards, and waved its claws around frantically, but to no avail. The attack hit, and Pinsir was out.

“You cheat!” Tobias spat, “You use same bad attack again and again! I fix you good!”
He threw out the next Pokéball, with blue where there was normally red, and strange red and yellow markings.

The next monstrosity was…a giant…crab?
I looked down at the Pokédex, trying not to laugh.

Kingler. It said wobbily, as though it were holding back laughing as well, A Water-Type.

“Klepto, use Confuse Ray!” I said, trying to take this seriously.
The darkness returned, as did the beam, but Kingler just stood there regardless.
“Huh?” I grunted.

“Use Crabhammer!” Tobias snapped, saliva oozing down his chin.
Kingler dashed sideways towards a dumbfounded Klepto, and raised its crab-claw…thingy. Only now did I notice just how LARGE they were.
“Klepto, look out!”

But it was too late. Kingler dropped its claw, and it fell hard on Klepto, nearly crushing him.
“Tuuuuuuu!” Klepto bellowed, unable to escape in a similar fashion to when I had fallen on Cubone.

“No, no…” I said, breathing heavily. Klepto couldn’t make an attack in this position, and its mind was too cluttered to let loose a psychic blast.
Kingler started twisting its claw wickedly, pushing Klepto further and further into the dirt.

“Nooooooo!” I wailed, when all of a sudden Kingler stopped. Its eyes widened, and it turned multiple colours. It paused for a moment, before flying off of Klepto!

Future Sight.

The Pokédex assisted.

“Wow, that’s great!” I grinned as Tobias returned Kingler, “But there’s no way Klepto can stand another fight!”

“Now for new Pokémon.” Tobias cackled, “I learn well how to use.”
He threw down a yellow and black Pokéball. A great light shone, and it released a yellow cocoon.

“…A Kakuna?” I muttered blankly.
“Yes!” Tobias chortled, “I catch just today!”

I more than ever wanted to put this guy out of his misery.
“Use Psychic.” I sighed. I tied my shoe, and when I looked back, Kakuna was still in there!
“Harden!” Tobias babbled, “Harden lots!”

The Kakuna shone gold, and then went back to its yellow colour.
“Psychic.” I said, shaking my head. A final blue wave came out, and Kakuna was down.

“I won…” I said quietly, coming upon the realization. My first ever victory…

“I won!” I yelled loudly, “I won I won I-”

“Not just yet!” A voice interrupted that wasn’t Tobias’. I looked back to see a short girl with long blonde hair and wicked eyes.
“This isn’t over yet.” She said, “I’m Amy. And my brother Toby was only the beginning! Three Pokémon each! Let’s do this!”

I stomped in protest, “But Klepto can’t fight! Look at him!”

I pointed down to the Natu, who was…hopping?
He was alright! A little hurt, but he wasn’t crushed!
I looked over at Cubone, who was chuckling. He pulled a few red fruits from his helmet.
“Berries…” I muttered, “From Hank’s place! Alright, I’ll start with Cubone!”
I set the walkman on the ground, and a frantic tune came out from it.

“Go, Paras!” Amy smirked, and threw down her ball. “We’ll show this loser how it should be done!”
Another flash shined, and out came the orange bug with mushrooms on its back. From what the ‘dex had told me, I knew this was a bug/grass type.

“I’m learning! That’s good.”
I then realised something.
“I’m disadvantaged! That’s bad.”

I tried to think back to some of the TMs Cubone had acquired, “Alright,” I said slowly, “How about Icy Wind!”

Cubone stomped quickly to the music as he hacked out a steady stream of beautiful blue ice.
It hit Paras right on, and it backed up, slowed down by the harsh breeze.
Thus far this was looking good.

“Paras,” Amy commanded, “We’ll use Giga Drain!”

Paras summoned up its energy to produce a green circle of solar power. It flew up from it, and headed towards Cubone.
The music turned to a trombone solo, and Cubone flipped around in one of his best evasive techniques.

The green ball just stopped, however, and turned right into the path he was taking! The attack hit him right in the chest, and he fell on his head.

“Bone…” he groaned, as Paras sucked back up all the energy it had lost. Cubone reached into his helmet. He chewed up a berry, and tried to get back into the beat.
I was about to give him a command, when he flew forward in a Headbutt of his own.

He seems to perform better without my help…

Paras attempted to brace itself, but couldn’t block off Cubone’s sharp horns. It flinched in response to the hit, and Cubone flipped back RVD-like.
Paras was prepared for this, though, and sent off a Giga Drain!
“Good thinking!” Amy giggled, “But any thinking is out of their league!!”
It easily flew right towards Cubone, and he fell mid-Headbutt. Paras looked refreshed.

“Cubone, return!” I sighed, returning Cubone, “Klepto, think you can handle another fight?”
He paused for a moment, before nodding uncertainly. He hopped onto the field. I’d have to do this quickly.

“Klepto, start with Confuse Ray!”

There was another darkness followed by a beam, but Paras merely stood there!
It also resisted the confusion.
“Paras, use Spore!” Amy shouted, and a yellowish-green cloud of dust shot up from Paras’ back, and landed right on Klepto.
His eyes slowly closed, and he drifted off to sleep, balancing on one foot.
“No, no, no!” I roared.

“Use Slash!” Amy cackled. Paras lifted its claw, and swiped mightily at Klepto. He was knocked back, but remained sleeping on one foot. The cut began bleeding.
“Again! Again!” Amy squealed as though this was some sick game.
Paras slashed repeatedly at Klepto, who was getting cut up! However, he remained sleeping, and eventually just fell backwards.

“Klepto, get out of there!” I wailed, and returned Klepto.
Unsurely but bravely Leaves stepped onto the battlefield.

“Use Growl!” I shouted.
Leaves snarled at the Paras, but it seemed to do just about nothing.
“Keep it uuuuuuuup!” Amy squealed, and Paras lifted its claw to continue slashing. Leaves was then on the receiving end of a slashing barrage. He backed up with each swipe, but refused to give in.

“Spear!” I shouted hopefully.
Leaves lifted his arms, and charged the small bug. It rolled back upon impact, but only got back up and gave Leaves another Slash. Leaves flew back and skidded across the ground.

“And there you have it.” Amy said with a grin, “The battle ends here.”

All of a sudden, Leaves got to his feet.
Blood leaking from his mouth, he slowly, painstakingly stepped up to Paras. It stood there, confused, as Leaves started pushing it with all he could. Driving it back. It was all that Leaves could do.

Paras slashed Leaves in the face, and he rolled back. Nevertheless, he got back up, and got right back pushing.

“Leaves…” I whispered, tears coming to my eyes.

“Paras, return.” Amy said quietly, and reached for her next Pokéball.
Leaves and I watched on as she dropped the ball to the ground. The silhouette came out, and the enemy stood before us.


“Charmander!” the orange lizard snarled, waving its fiery tail around.

Leaves took a deep breath, and stepped forward, a trail of blood behind him.

“…No.” I said finally. “This battle is over, you win Amy.”

“Ahahahah!” Amy and Tobias cackled. “We won! Now pay up!”
“What?” I gasped, “But I beat Tobias!”
“And Tobias was my teammate. We work as a team, your win means nothing to me!” Amy hissed, and stepped right up in front of me, “Now give us all you’ve got or we’ll finish off your Bulbasaur…permanently.”

I sighed, and handed her the remaining Pokéballs.

“Is that IT?” Amy cackled, and Tobias started laughing, “You really are a loser!”

They returned Charmander and walked off, kicking Leaves along the way. Angrily, I gave him the Potion I had saved, and sat there as he slowly recovered.

This wasn’t fair. This Pokémon journey wasn’t what I wanted it to be.
…Maybe I am a loser. Maybe I should just stop now…

[Reptilius Pyrus]

Hehehe....Tony and Tobias. Dumb and dumber.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Reptilius Pyrus, one of your "closet readers". Though since I am now posting, it means I'm an "ex-closet reader". Even though this is my first reply, I have been following the story since you started. I just wanted to say that I think this is hilarious, and.....

HURRY UP WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER!!! *Growls*

Ahem... sorry.

[Drago]

Reptilius Pyrus: Well, more than anything else, I want to say THANK YOU! I was really lacking in inspiration, and was considering dropping Minty Thrill altogether, but all it took was one reply to keep me going! Thanks again, and this time, I'll try to be a tad more faithful to my readers! ^^;

This chapter is going to be a bit less serious than the other one, and from a new viewpoint... Leaves'!

Minty Thrill
Chapter 10
Ausfall

Leaves
********************
My teammates were mangled. I don’t know if they’d be able to hang on. Tony was on his hands and knees, crying. I…was hungry.
It was quite the gyp, actually, because I was hungry and yet not hungry. When those goons had kicked me it sort of made me lose my appetite.

I walked up to Tony, trying not to let on that I really didn’t care that we’d lost. He looked up at me weakly, and I scratched a message into the dirt, to which he agreed.

‘I’ll be back’.

And so I was off, a free Bulbasaur (or a cheap one at very least). I ran off through the bushes, and found myself in Kurabusu City. It seemed calming.

There were few high-buildings, rather, several tents pitched up. It looked more like a travelling circus than anything else.
I thought I might take a look around. Couldn’t hurt, unless of course I felt like causing some havoc.
I ruffled uncomfortably. Actually, havoc. That would be something to take my mind off of all that was going on, what with Tony’s ausfall and all (I was starting to pick up his scattered German, it seems).

I cackled wickedly, and ran up to a tent. Looking inside, I found that there was an elderly woman behind a table, old and gray. Her eyes were closed.

“Sleeping…” I muttered to myself.
“Not quite, m’dear!” the woman cackled, and opened her eyes, “Now what is it that Madame Vertigo can do for you?”

I took a step back. “You understood me?”
“Not quite, m’dear!” she chuckled again. I was starting to get sick of her already. “You see, it is rather convenient, that you so choose to think everything that you plan on saying! I’ve been reading your thoughts, young Bulbasaur.”
She leant back, her mouth stretching widely in what looked like a combination of a frown and the results of two fishhooks in the gob.
“And Madame Vertigo has noticed that most of these thoughts are negative ones… Of hatred, mischief, and ausfall!” A puzzled expression crossed her face. “Urm, what is this ausfall?”
“Loss,” I muttered, “Unless Tony was mistaken.”
Which was quite likely, actually.

“As unlikely as Tony’s being correct may be, Madame Vertigo sees that he is in pain! He is suffering… and he must rediscover his love of life!”
“Fair enough.” I said offhandedly, jumping onto a chair, “But why should I care?”
“Because you yourself must make a choice, you see…” she replied, a solemn look on her face, “Should he return to his normal state of mind(lessness) there is the question on what he will think of those who have wronged him. You will pay a very integral part in this, my young Bulbasaur.”

She seemed to know what she was talking about. She could’ve slipped Padowan in there and I would’ve been too interested to disagree.
“Gaze into my ball!” she hacked.
Oh no! This meeting has just taken a turn for the worse!!

Madame Vertigo waved her hand over a crystal sphere.
“That’s a relief…” I breathed a sigh of relief, as it seemed the right thing to do, and took a look. There was a blank darkness, before I saw a raging fire within. I looked up at Madame Vertigo.

“The ball is vague…” she said quietly, “And this may represent your past, present, or future… Which do you believe it shows?”
“Well…” I muttered, “Tony couldn’t light a fire if his life depended on it, and Cubone’s too sliced and diced to make it for him, so the present’s out… Hang on, that’s it! This is the past! That stupid stupid Charmander!” I looked up and snarled.
“Truly?” Madame Vertigo chuckled, “If you say so…”

The ball went dark again. “Remember,” she repeated, “Should Tony have to make a life or death decision, it is in your hands… not his.”
“…Thank you, Madame Vertigo.” I said finally, “You’ve just made things a little more clear for me.”
Hang on, I was here to cause trouble…
Madame Vertigo’s eyes widened as I thought this, so I began to panic. I knocked over her crystal ball, and RAN!!

I panted heavily after leaving. There. Havoc at its best.
I looked around. Now what devious acts could I commit?

I strolled into one of the buildings. It was two stories, and looked like a gym. The Pokémon Gym? I wasn’t sure, but what I was doing had to be done quickly.

I snuck around the lower floor, and somehow found my way into some sort of small kitchen. The glasses looked weird, though, and held some strange purpley stuff. Only now did I notice I was sort of thirsty, so I turned on a tap. Nothing came out, so I tried the next tap. Nothing. I went through all the taps, and yet nothing came out.
“Stupid cheap taps…” I hissed, and knocked over a glass angrily. It was empty, and didn’t even break, which just fuelled my anger.
I dashed out of the building, and out into the city.
“I’m a big angry Bulbasaur!” I wailed, “And I’m a-gonna getcha!”

I looked around to see the response. Silence, unfortunately.
A Pidgeotto in a tree flapped its wings once or twice, as though it were mocking me.
“That’s it…” I growled, “Have a taste of Razor Leaf!”

I bent slightly, and roared. Then it hit me. I didn’t know Razor Leaf.
“Oh my!” I grumbled, “How saddening!”

The Pidgeottto flew down smartly.
“Right then!” he cawed in a strong English accent, “Just what do you think you’re doing around here?”
I looked around. “Breathing?”
“Are you being facetious, sunshine?” he continued, and stepped forward.
“I suppose I would be if I knew what it was, southpaw.” I replied, widening my eyes.
“And just how did you know I was left-winged?” he said suspiciously.
“Just a hunch.” I sighed, “So what moniker do you go under?”
“The names Wegal.” He said proudly, “Rilliam Wegal.”

I shook my head, “So what do you birds do for fun?”
“Make magnificent ground with only a mere few cycles of action.” He said, scratching the ground.
“Can I join you?” I asked.
“Didn’t think you could fly…” he said, bemused.
“Uh,” I gulped, “No I can’t. Not last time I checked, anyway.”
“So…” Rilliam said slyly, “Up for some havoc?”
“I could only be more ready if you turned me into a vowel and dipped me in blood!” I said proudly. Rilliam was…unimpressed.
********************************
“See there,” Rilliam whispered, pointing his wing in the direction of an elderly lady wearing a strange black hat, “Every day at this hour she’ll go through the grocer’s extra-extra large turnips, and she’ll always go through every single one, then end up taking the one in the top-right corner.”
“Yeah…” I said quietly, “Woeful woman takes turnip.”
“But the thing is, that there’s a hole in the top-right corner, big enough to fit your head through.”
“So you’re suggesting that we go up to her and steal her wallet!” I said, smiling widely, “You dog you!”
“Are you daft man?” Rilliam snapped.
“No…” I whined, “I just like wallets.”
“What I’m saying is that you stick your head through the hole, chew into the turnip, and scare the living daylights out of ‘er!”
“Meh, whatever plays your fiddle.” I muttered, and started towards the turnip stand.
I snuck under it, and slowly chewed through the turnip covering the hole. It was a pretty tight squeeze, actually.
Eventually I had my entire head in the giant turnip, and listened as she went through each turnip.

Suddenly, there was a squawking. “I caught ‘im! I caught ‘im!”
Before I could figure out what was going on, I found myself in a sack.
“What the?” I snapped, and poked my head out. The old woman grinned at me evilly. And, on her shoulder…was Rilliam!

“So you’re the one who’s been causing trouble around here, eh?” she cackled, “Well I know just what to do with you, young Bulbasaur!”
“Yes!” Rilliam laughed, “She is the Witch Hazel!”
“She’s a delightful green cartoon character often associated with Bugs Bunny and named humorously after a medicinal cure?” I squeaked innocently.
“Did I say Hazel?” Rilliam muttered, “Sorry, slip of the tongue. I meant the Witch HELLZEL!”

“Oh.” I gulped, “That’s somewhat less appealing.”

She pushed me pack into the sack and I could tell I was being whisked away to a devious abode with gnarled trees that seemed to be reaching towards me, and a dirty old mudstone house that loomed forward, and could very well contain a monster.

I peeked out, and in front of me was devious abode with gnarled trees that seemed to be reaching towards me, and a dirty old mudstone house that loomed forward, and could very well contain a monster.
“Yup.” I muttered, “Thought so.”

The Witch Hellzel dashed inside, and slammed the door closed. She soon opened it, when she realised she had forgotten to take me with her.
She took me into the house, and I could only gaze out through the opening of the sack.

“Now then!” she snickered, “You’re going to be put to great use!”
She pulled out a coal-black cauldron, and started pouring various concoctions. Rilliam gazed at me from his perch nearby.
“Come on Rilly, old buddy old pal!” I whimpered, “How ‘bout some of that havoc right about now?”
He snorted, and turned away.

Witch Hellzel threw in a few eyeballs, and grabbed a large wooden spoon. “You see, what I want is a Murkrow, to go well with my witchly habits. I used to have two dear Murkrow, and I miss them oh so terribly!”
“What happened to them?” I asked curiously.
“Those were their eyeballs in the cauldron.” Rilliam answered.
I rolled my own eyes. This was turning out to be a very camp experience.
“So, with you in this cauldron, you’ll be transformed into a delightful Murkrow, and my troubles will be over!”
“Why me?” I groaned.
“Because.” Rilliam replied casually, “As you might have guessed, the Witch Hellzel is stark raving mad.”
“Oh.” I said with a sigh, “Fair enough.”
“I’m adding the final ingredients!” Witch Hellzel announced.
“She’s adding the final ingredients.” Rilliam repeated.
“I’m letting it sit for a few tense seconds!” Witch Hellzel continued.
“She’s letting it sit for a few tense seconds.” Rilliam said, grinning.
“I need to test it!” Witch Hellzel snapped.
“She needs to test-BRAWK!”

Rilliam was cut off as Witch Hellzel snatched him off his perch, and tossed him in.
There was a distinct smell of sizzling turkey.
Perhaps she would change her mind and we’d have a merry Pidgeotto stew instead. …THEN I could steal her wallet!”

Eventually she reached her hand in, and pulled Rilliam out. He was black, like a Murkrow. Success?
It could be, if Rilliam wasn’t now twice his normal size, cycloptic, featuring three legs and a disformed face.
“Hm.” Witch Hellzel muttered, “Needs a tad less mutant cream.”
“Well this is just bloody brilliant…” Rilliam sighed, annoyed.

“Okay!” the Witch Hellzel said with a grin, “In we go!”
She walked up, and I prepared for the fiercest battle of my life. She opened the sack, and I charged! She stumbled backwards, and fell headfirst into the cauldron.
“Wow.” I muttered, disappointed, “That was easier than I thought.”

I stepped out of the sack, and headed for the doorway. Rilliam was too shocked to stop me. I looked back, as the Witch Hellzel slowly pulled her head out. She snapped up, and looked at Rilliam. He gasped when he saw her face. She turned around, slowly, and I braced myself. She turned fully, and I saw her face.
“Aaaahh!” I bellowed, “It’s LARRY HAGMAN!!”
I turned, and bolted as quickly as I could.

I ran along the path towards Kurabusu City, the Witch Hellzel close behind me.
“Whatever was wrong with the brew?” she whined, as she ran. She was gaining on me, and there was still a fair distance to go.
“That’s it!” she gasped, and stopped. I continued running.
“There were too many genes in it!” she wailed, “It was too genie! GENIE! GENIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!” she bellowed, and for some reason I couldn’t help humming I Dream of Jeannie as I made it safely into Kurabusu.

I panted heavily, and fell to the ground. Off in the distance, I saw him. It was Tony! But he wasn’t as I’d expected him. He was happily skipping along…
What was going on? Last time I saw him he was on his knees crying, but now he’s back to being happy…
I shrugged, and ran up to him.

“Hey!” he grinned, “So there’s my Bulb-is-sore! Get up to any shenanigans?”
“As only I can…” I sighed.
“You didn’t, uh… steal any wallets, did you?” he gulped.
“I forgot to!” I moaned, as we walked into the city.

A man with a moustache and torn clothes ran up to us, and grabbed Tony by the shoulder.
“Kid!” he shouted, panting for breath, “Are you a Pokémon trainer?”
“At least I assume myself as being. Perhaps in a foreign country I wouldn’t be considered one, but for the moment I’ll answer in the affirmative…” Tony muttered.
The man stared at him.
“Yes.” Tony said with a sigh.
“Good!” the man said, and started to run, “There’s a terrible incident, we need your help!”

We ran after him.
What could this terrible incident be? Tony’s arrival, perhaps?

We finally arrived, to a terrible sight…

[Drago]

No, not posting just yet. Since I actually know for a change when the next chapter's coming, just thought I'd let you know.

I was planning on putting chapter 11 up today after I had finished it off, but I'm afraid I had to go on the net early, because I have to go to the station at 4, so the chapter's almost done, and it'll be up tomorrow. Thanks for your patience! It was quite frightening...

[Drago]

Well here it is! The eleventh chapter, which also features the last bit from Leaves' viewpoint (well, for now anyway)

Oh, and I forgot to say... I hope everyone had a very happy new year, and that 2003 will be a great year for all you Minters!!

Minty Thrill
Chapter 11
Out of the Frying Pan…

“Egad!” I gasped, as my eyes widened. The building…
It was on fire!!

The man looked at me as though he was seriously forlorn, or someone had beaten him in Mario Kart.
“I just barely escaped…” he moaned.
“How did this happen?” I gasped.
The man looked at me as though I were wasting time, “I don’t know, but I’m sure it’s my fault… I went into the lab, and lit a Bunsen burner, and the entire room went up in flames! My guess is that someone forgot to turn off the gas…”
Leaves gasped loudly, as though he had come to a realisation.
“Whatever the case, you and your Pokémon have to put it out! The fire brigade isn’t gonna make it in time, the nearest one is in Attiles City.”
“Very well!” I said, needing no more explanations, “Come out and help us guys!”

I threw down my Pokéballs, and Cubone and Klepto came out.
“Alright!” I commanded, “Now put out that fire!”
They stood there, looking at me worriedly.
“You’re kidding…” the man groaned, “You don’t have a water Pokémon?”
“…Nooooo…” I gulped. I wasn’t being very impressive, “But Cubone can shoot out a mean Fire Blast, wanna see?”
The man started to cry, which made me think.

“Cubone, it’s up to you!” I said loudly.
Cubone pointed at himself, and gulped.
“That’s right!” I continued, “You’re the one with all the TM moves, you must have at least one water attack!”
I picked Cubone up, and he squirmed in fear.
“Gooooo!” I roared, and threw Cubone at the blazing building.
He flew right into the wall, and was knocked unconscious.

“Uh…” I muttered, my eyes shrinking and a sweatdrop drooping down my forehead, “What now?”
I looked around, “Where’d Klepto go?” I moaned.
Leaves shrugged, as a figure stumbled through the front door of the flaming building.
I ran over and pulled him away. He was rather fat, so it was quite the difficult task.
I better be getting hazard pay for this…

“People!” he hacked, “People still in there! They’re trapped on the second floor!”
“Aww hölle!” I gasped, when I saw something in the smoky sky. I focussed, and realised it was Klepto! He was carrying a large pail of water.
“Hoorah!” I cried happily, “Klepto realised that I needed water! It’s all gonna be ok, mister!” I waved my hands so that Klepto could see me, “Gimme the water, Klepto!” I shouted.

The smile was wiped off my face when Klepto poured the entire pail of water over my head.
He landed to the ground, looking happily as though he had done a good job.

“…Thank you Klepto.” I muttered, and looked back at the building, “There’s no time! Someone has to go in there and save them!”
I propped the fat bloke onto his feet. “Go!” I roared, “Go and save them!”

It was then I realised he had passed out, and he wasn’t getting any lighter. I dropped him to the ground, and looked about frantically.
“Hey…” I muttered to Leaves and Klepto, “You don’t suppose it’d be alright if we just, uh… walked away, do you? I can whistle pretty good, we’ll be perfectly innocent!”

Klepto looked at me confusedly, as Leaves shook his head. He snorted, and dashed off towards the building.
“Leaves!” I shouted, “You can’t go in there! Your bulb will catch fire!” I paused for a moment, “And stuff!”

I groaned, and ran after Leaves into the blazing inferno!

I looked around inside. The heat was unbearable, and beads of sweat already developed on my forehead. Leaves stood in front of me, looking around for the stairs. I couldn’t really see very well, the smoke was getting to me, and the fire was so bright.
I couldn’t tell one thing apart from another.

I stumbled around, waving my hands in front of me.
“Bulb! Bulba!” Leaves suddenly growled.
“Leaves?” I gasped, and dropped to my knees. I could see clearer now. Leaves was looking at me, nudging his head forward. He had found the stairs! The problem was that they were engulfed in flames.
“You want me to put it out somehow?” I asked, and Leaves nodded.
“Uh, alrighty….” I gulped, and crawled towards the fire.

I took a deep breath, and shot a mighty ball of spit at it.
I sat there for a moment.
“I don’t think it worked…”

Leaves groaned, and looked around.
“Bulb!” he said suddenly, and bit at my jacket.
“Awwwwww no you don’t!” I shouted, “We aren’t gonna go through under this! I like this jacket! It’s so bright and orange! Where else are we going to see something this bright and orange?”
Leaves sighed, and looked around.

“…Oh yeah, the fire.” I gulped, and pulled the jacket over my head. I scooped up Leaves in my arms, and dashed through the fire up the stairs.

This is the time to say something heroic, like they do in the movies! I thought to myself as I ran through the flames.

“Hot hot hot ow ow ow!” I bellowed each step of the way, until we made it to the top. I tripped forward when I found there weren’t anymore steps, and looked forward.
There was a massive hole in the floor! I hadn’t been able to tell downstairs.

“Help us!” a voice squealed, and it was then I noticed two pairs of hands dangling desperately from the hole, trying not to fall in.
“I’m coming!” I shouted, and ran up to the hole.
It was then I saw something I had never expected…


…It was Tobias and Amy!

They looked up at me desperately, and Tobias reached his hand out.

They’re here… Clutching on for dear life… They, who mocked me… They, who robbed me…
They…they’re here…

Leaves
********************
No no no!
This was what Madame Vertigo was talking about! The fire in the ball, it had been representing the future! Right now!

You yourself must make a choice, you see… her haunting voice ran through my head, Should he return to his normal state of mind(lessness) there is the question on what he will think of those who have wronged him. You will pay a very integral part in this, my young Bulbasaur.
Should Tony have to make a life or death decision, it is in your hands… not his. Not his… Not his…

I looked down at Tobias, who was desperately reaching towards Tony’s hand. Amy squealed as one of her hands slipped, and she edged closer towards the fire.

I then looked up at Tony. He was… laughing!

He lifted his foot, and raised it over Amy’s hand.
“Now we’ll see just who’s a loser!” he cackled. His voice didn’t sound normal. It was full of hate and jealousy. It wasn’t the Anthony Chambers I knew.

He threw his foot down, and stomped on Amy’s hand!

“No!” I roared, and rather unexpectedly, a pair of vines shot out from my bulb! I was doing it! I was finally doing Vine Whip!

I reached down with them, and caught Amy just before she fell into the fire. I strained as I pulled her up, as Tony stood by in disbelief.

I gasped as I skidded forward slightly. She was surprisingly heavy, and I didn’t know if I could hold her!

All of a sudden, the strain was half as much. Tony was pulling Amy up! We pulled her up, and finally pulled her out from the hole. We then pulled Tobias out, but when we turned around towards the stairs, the top few fell through!

There was a big gaping pit of fire between us and the remaining stairs, and I didn’t know if I could make the jump…

All of a sudden the window smashed open, and a bone fell to the floor.
I looked up, and there they were. Klepto was carrying Cubone through the window!

They landed on the floor, and Cubone dashed over towards the pit.
He opened his mouth, and an icy blast shot out. He had made a path towards the stairs!

We quickly slid across before it melted, but found that the area between the stairs and the doorway was completely filled with fire!

“We doomed!” Tobias wailed, when all of a sudden Klepto’s eyes flashed blue. He concentrated, and the fire separated, Moses-like.

We ran through, and made it out the doorway.
Klepto flew out last, just before the building tilted over slightly, and the roof tumbled in.
The building had collapsed on itself. …But everyone was safe.
********************************
It was a while later. The fire was out, and Tony was talking to Tobias and Amy.
“It’s amazing how quickly you two recovered from the fight!” I said happily to Cubone and Klepto.
“Yeah, we don’t know how it happened, but for some reason we both awoke at the same time, and Tony was really happy about something…” Cubone replied.
“Happy?” Klepto suddenly squawked, “Gifts will make him happy! Gifts! Gifts! Should I go get him more gifts?”
“No…” I said, laughing, “I think he should be alright for now.”

We looked over to Tony. He had a really strange look on his face as he talked to Amy. He was putting on all sorts of casual expressions, while keeping a steady grin.
“What’s he doing?” Cubone muttered.
“I think he’s trying to get with that Amy girl…” I whispered, “He’s pretty forgiving when it comes to a pretty face.”

Tony said one last thing, and put on a really big smile. Amy gasped, and then WHAP! Amy slapped Tony across the face. She and Tobias walked away, as Tony fell to the ground.
“I take it she doesn’t like dinner?” Tony groaned dizzily.
I laughed loudly, “It’s good to see him back to normal. …Or as normal as he can be, anyway.”

[Drago]

Crikey, where did everyone go? It's been rather lonely here...
Oh well, guess the current theme just wasn't doin' it for you, eh?

Never fear, I'm returning to the seriousnessless of before, and hopefully it'll bring in a few more replies. Mebbe, mebbe not. Oh well, we'll see how it goes.

Minty Thrill
Chapter 12
Freaky Fun

Kyle
********************
I had completely torn Attiles City apart, and yet Chambers was nowhere to be found.
I sighed, annoyed, and walked into a nearby restaurant.

I was met with a loud shout, and I fumbled with my baton, dropping it to the floor.
Right in front of me leapt a teenager, a tad older than me. He had long, shaggy hair, and looked to be drunk. Of course, given my current position, I couldn’t really book him for supposed underage drinking, but I could smell it in his breath.

“Huahaha!” he cackled wickedly, although it sounded more like a phlegmy cough. I shielded my face from the saliva he shot out, “Hey kid, wanna fight?”

This wasn’t good. He raised his fists, so I had to act quickly. I looked to a table, and grabbed a plastic fork.
“I’ve got a plastic fork!” I snarled, waving it menacingly.
“Dude! Please, don’t stab me man!” he gulped, not realising just how puerile threat was.
“Then get lost.” I snapped, and he quickly scampered away.

I sighed, and picked up my baton.
I sat down, and gazed at it. Right now, there was one thing bugging me about it.
…Just why did I have to call it a baton? That was such a stupid term, and I felt more like the leader of a marching band.
What were some better names? Nightstick… club… The Riddells Device…

“Excuse me?” a woman said suddenly, shocking me and making me throw the baton over my shoulder.
I heard a thud and a scream.

“May I take your order?” the woman asked perkily. I shook my head.
Such idiocy in this town. No wonder Chambers didn’t stay for long. A genius of his calibre would’ve been appalled by the intelligence quotient…

Tony
********************
“Hey Leaves,” I asked the Bulb-is-sore, and he looked up curiously, “Just what ARE you? I mean, really. I’ve been wondering for a while. Are you a dinosaur thing, or some kind of iguana? Because you look an awful lot like roadkill of some description…”

I looked up suddenly as I collided with an indescribably odd object.
“What’s this?” I gasped, eyes widening, “Someone knows we’re here! Some devious Kurabusu resident has planted this large white… THING here to block our path! Damn them! Damn them and their superior knowledge! When will we be enlightened with their fascinating technology and grand dental plans? When, Leaves, WHEEEEEEEEEEN?”

Leaves groaned, and I took another look.
“Hang on.” I muttered, “This is a wall.”
He walked around the corner, and through the door. It was a Pokémon Centre, to be precise.
I let out Cubone and Klepto, and stepped inside as well.
The nurse standing behind the counter looked tired and irritated, a Fancie by her side. There was also a little girl in the lobby sitting in a large leather couch, watching TV.
I walked up to the counter, and noticed that the nurse was very pretty. She had long, shiny blonde hair, and thick red lipstick. She had a generally smart look to her. I got that impression because of how flustered she looked. Only smart people get flustered like that. Except me, it seemed, for some reason…

“Can I help you?” the nurse asked, trying to be polite as possible.
“Yeah,” I said, clearing my throat to sound more appealing, “I was wondering if I could stay here the night, as well as getting my three Pokémon fixed up?”
“Certainly!” she replied, surprisingly happily, “We’d love to be of service to you! I’m Nurse Iris, and I run this Pokémon Centre. There are a few rooms vacant, fortunately. Although most people are feeling bushed lately. That fire has made things uncomfortably warm around here, and it hasn’t snowed for days! It almost feels like summer! Anyway, I’ll get you your key card.”

She walked over to the several key cards hanging on the wall.

I stared at her shifting through them, trying to find juuuuuuuuuuuuuuust the right one. Parting them and sorting them with her long, slender fingers. They glided along the cards reflective and smooth surface.
Not since Crazy Eights had I been so turned on by cards.
“Here it is.” She said, relieved, “Somebody’s been messing around with the order, I’m surprised I found it so quickly!” She handed me the card, “Here’s the key card to your room. Any questions?”
“Yes.” I said unknowingly, “Will you be sleeping on the left side of the bed or the right?”
For this I got a swift slap, and Iris stormed into the back room, completely forgetting to answer my question. The Fancie sighed, and followed her.

I shrugged, and started wandering around. I walked over to the little girl watching TV.
“Hi!” she grinned, “I’m Tina!”
“Whatcha watching?” I asked her, rubbing my cheek.
“Hamtaro.” She said in a cheery voice.
“Hamtaro?” I scoffed, and laughed out loud. Leaves, Cubone and Klepto chuckled as they left the room to do some exploring.
I leant towards her. “Which episode?” I asked quietly.

“HEY!” a voice shouted. I quickly whirled around, to see Iris with a phone, “It’s for you!”
I walked over, and picked it up.
“Hello?” I asked, confused.
“CHAMBERS!” the voice on the other end bellowed. I gasped, and pulled it away from me. I knew exactly who it was.
“Mr. Michaels!” I gasped, “I’m so sorry! I never expected you to come back from the dead to get me! I’m so sorry dead Mr. Michaels! Oh wait, wait, would it offend you less if I said Mr. Zomichaels?”
“Chambers, you dolt! I’m not a zombie!” he shouted.
“You’re …really Mr. Michaels then?” I asked suspiciously, “Prove it! What’s three times two?!”
“Chambers, if you don’t shut up I’ll reach through the phone and rip your lungs out!” he hissed.
I closed my mouth. “Wow Mr. Michaels,” I said through my teeth, “You must not have many friends if you say things like that…”
“Listen!” Mr. Michaels snarled, “Your extensions are up! Your room is no longer your’s!”
“My room!” I gasped, “You can’t take it away, I’ll be homeless!”
“Then pay up!” he said in a gruff voice.
I thought for a moment.

“Uhh…” I grumbled, “I know how I can get the money…and more.”
“Huh?” Mr. Michaels grunted. The prospect of more money was enough to interest the foul beast.
“You can turn my room into a Pokémon lab, and I’ll send you all my spare Pokémon. Then, you can charge people to come in and see them!”
“Chambers.” Mr. Michaels sighed, “You are an absolute moron.”
“Uh, I’ll send you a wish-granting Pokémon?” I squeaked.
“Alright then!” Mr. Michaels cackled, “So what’ll I need?”
“Just a Pokémon transporter, like they have in all the labs!”
“Sure!” Mr. Michaels replied, “…Hang on, how the hell am I supposed to get-”

I gulped, and threw the phone out the window. An alive Anthony is a happy Anthony.
I sighed, relieved. “There. Now that my apartment is safe, I’ll have a place to sleep at night.”
I followed after my Pokémon, looking for where I was supposed to sleep tonight.

I walked through the halls, and an elderly man opened the door from his room. He looked a lot like Hank. He was bald like him, and wore glasses.
“Hank?” I muttered, confused.
“I ain’t no Hank you lousy punk!” he wheezed, “Stop stompin’ down the halls! I’m tryin’ to get some sleep here! It’s almost… 11 o’clock! Wow, that’s strange… usually it’s earlier than that. Oh well. Nonetheless, shaddup and lemme sleep! You’re just lucky Snorlax ain’t awake. He woulda…mangled and tangled and yearaha…”

He slammed the door shut. I didn’t catch his name, so I’d just call him Almost Hank.
Another door opened nearby, and out stomped a fat, tattooed man. Alongside him strode a fat, tattooed Wig-is-bluff.
“Eh, wha’s goin’ on’ ou’ ‘ere, ‘en, ya li’l wart!” he babbled. He seemed to have trouble opening his mouth against the layers of fat of his chin.
“What?” I gulped.
He grunted, confused.
“Ul ba’ ba’ba ‘raus sa’ bu’l bu’sa.” Leaves muttered.
“Oh, a’igh’, ‘orry li’l ‘igh’er. ‘ub’a mean’ no ‘arm…” ‘ub’a replied, and waddled back in.
“Wow, Leaves!” I gasped, “I didn’t know you knew other languages!”

Dear Diary:
It seems Leaves speaks fluent fat.

Rather unsurprisingly, a third door opened, and a chubby woman and thin man peered out from behind the frame. Standing in front of them were a boy and girl.
I gasped lightly, and Cubone backed up. Maybe it was just the dim light, but their eyes were large and round, and seemed to glow. Their faces were blank and cold, and expressionless. They wore dark, black clothes, and it reminded me of an Ozzy Osborne impersonation gone terribly wrong.
“H-h-hello.” I squeaked, “I’m Tony… Tony Pleasedontkillme!”
“Hello.” The man said in a weak, English voice, “We are the Bunkits. I am Mr. Bunkit, and this is Mrs. Bunkit. These are the children, Eleanor and Theodore Bunkit.”
“Uh-huh…” I gulped, as they stared on. They didn’t once blink, or change their gaze, “This here…is Leaves! He’s great with doors! Would you like for him to close your door?”
The Bunkits continued staring.
“We have to go inside now.” Mr. Bunkit said finally, “We will say goodbye to you and hope you have very pleasant dreams.”

They shifted back inside, and slowly pulled the door behind them.

I let out a sigh, and closed my eyes, “Finally… they’re going back to their hellish world, hope they say hello to El Dibby for me.”

I opened my eyes, to the same large gazing ones.
“YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG!” I screeched, “He’s sooner than I expected!!”
“This is HootHoot Bunkit.” Mr. Bunkit said, and the creature hovered back onto Bunkit’s shoulder, “He would just like to let you know that your Natu appears to be taking the children’s clothing.”
Mr. Bunkit reached inside, and pulled out Klepto, who had a curious look on his face, and a shirt clutched in his beak. Mr. Bunkit handed Klepto to me, and slowly moved back inside, closing the door behind him.

I gasped for air, and looked angrily at Klepto.
“Never steal demon clothing!!” I snapped, as we walked down the hall towards the final room.
I shifted nervously for my key card. “Between Almost Hank, ‘ub’a and those freaks I think I won’t be getting much sleep tonight…” I moaned, and finally found the card. I quickly went inside, shut the door, and turned on the light.

I looked around. It was a one-nighter, and thus only had two beds and a table. There was a small window. I looked at the clock. It hit eleven, and bars slid down over the window.
“Security system.” I muttered, “That, or they don’t want anyone eloping with their windows while they sleep.”

I pulled everything out of my pockets, and had to sternly tell Cubone not to listen to the walkman.
Annoyed, he climbed into one of the beds, clutching it to his side. Klepto ruffled the shirt around on the table, before settling into it as though it were a nest.
Leaves paced around a few times before collapsing onto the soft fluffy rug next to my bed.
“So!” I said loudly and suddenly, and everyone’s eyes shot open, “Anyone up for some training?”
********************************
“No…no, stop it… No…NOOO!” I shot up from the bed, covered in a layer of sweat. It was morning, and Leaves awoke. He lazily gazed up to see what was wrong.
“Oh Leaves, it was awful!” I groaned, “I had that dream where I went to the futuristic camp where everyone was classified by their last name and a certain colour, and I was on the raft with Hyman Blue and McFinty Green, and I took a wrong turn, and they all yelled at me ‘Chambers Brown, you blockhead!’ and all I could do was mutter ‘good grief’! Then a big white beagle jumped onto the raft, and started dancing, and a little yellow THING flew alongside him, and do you know what happened next?”
Leaves’ eyes widened.
“A shark came up and ate the world.”
He looked surprised by the ending.

“No!” a voice from outside shouted, “Please, stay calm! It’s just a very bad mix-up, really!”
“OK!” I shouted in response, “That’s nice to know!”

The door flung open, and nurse Iris poked her head in,
“I apologise, but there are a few security problems at the moment…” she muttered, “And all the doors and windows are locked, so nobody will be able to exit for the moment until we find the security key card.”
“’k.” I muttered, not fully understanding, “But, hey… how come you didn’t need a key card to get into here?”
“Oh because your key card doesn’t open your door. It’s actually the key to the utility closet. I gave it to you because I didn’t care if freaks came in and attacked you in the night.” She answered quickly, and shut the door after her.
“Oh, ok.” I said with a smile, “Hey, wait a minute…”

After getting dressed in the same clothes I had been wearing for about a week or two now, I returned Cubone and Klepto, and Leaves and I wandered down the hall.

Almost Hank was complaining to Iris, as she was repeatedly apologising. Was he blaming her for his age? Only time will tell…
I turned, and accidentally bumped into the large figure of ‘ub’a. He snarled at me.
“Uh-oh…” I gulped, then decided to try my luck, “’ow a’ou’ ‘e ge’ a li’l ‘ore ‘ren’e ‘en, eh?” I grunted in my best fat voice.
‘ub’a chuckled, winked at me, and walked back into his room.
“Uh, Leaves?” I gulped, “Just what did I say to him?”
Leaves did a little pelvic motion to explain. My eyes widened, and I now feared ‘ub’a for more reasons than I had before.

I looked around nervously, and was relieved to find the Bunkits didn’t appear to be anywhere in sight.
“I guess they only come out at night…” I muttered to Leaves, and stepped out to the lobby.

Sure enough, there were bars over all the windows and the main door.
“Why don’t you just call someone?” Almost Hank snapped from behind me.
“I’m afraid I can’t find the phone!” Iris cried, and I froze in my tracks. It just struck me that I had thrown the phone out the window…

I strolled nervously towards Tina. She was still watching TV.
“What is it?” I asked.
“Cardcaptors.” She replied, “They just found out that Sakura is the master of the cards, and they’re now star cards.”
“And I missed it?” I gasped, then realised Leaves was standing next to me, “Uh, good!”
I shook my head at the close call, and turned towards the hall. I looked up, and was face to face with the Bunkits!
“AAAAAAAAH!” I screeched, stirring no response from them, “Uh, I was just… praying to my gods?”
I gulped hopefully. Maybe I could pretend I was some description of Satanist.
“We are afraid that we are running behind schedule.” Mr. Bunkit said solemnly, “We were planning to leave early this morning, but we have not been able to do many things.” They shifted slightly, “And we find it to be rather unpleasant.”
“Hoot.” HootHoot said, agreeing.
Leaves and I slowly stepped away from them, being eyed every step of the way. I fell into a chair as they walked back down the hall.

“This isn’t good…” I sighed, “I can’t stay here! It’s getting warmer by the moment, and missing time that should be spent fighting the Jim, uh… gym leader!”
“Hey, at least you can watch cartoons with me…” Tina called from where she was sitting.
“Leaves,” I said determinedly, “We’ll have to find out who took the key card! We’ll have to be detectives!”
Leaves tilted his head slightly, confused.
“Oh no…” I groaned, “You don’t know what a detective is?”
I tried to think of a WWE gimmick that involved detectives…

“Uh, I guess Hurricane will have to do…” I muttered, “Alright, you know how the Hurricane is a super hero? Well, he has to fight crime. And he fights crime with superpowers. But if you’re a person who has to fight crime without superpowers, you would be a policeman.” I paused for a moment, “Or Batman. Anyway, policemen dash about stopping criminals and shooting them full of holes. But there are people who need to tell the policemen who to shoot, by finding out who’s guilty. That person is a detective. Detectives are people who find out who’s guilty.”
I stopped, proud of my explanation, but then realised something. “Actually, detectives can also be rather low-ranked policemen, somewhere between patrolman and sergeant. What they have to do is be extra brave to get higher than their current rank, and shoot more people with more holes. Except civilians, of course. You see, civilians, are innocent people. We try not to shoot innocent people.” I paused again, “Unless of course you’re a robber. Robbers shoot people in their way for money and chuckles, and they’re the person who the policemen have to shoot full of holes, because robbers rob banks, because they’re bad people, and that’s what bad people do.” I paused yet again, “Unless you’re a super villain. Super villains are like robbers because they do bad things, but they do extra bad things, like torture people and strive for world domination. They’re almost undefeatable, but they can be defeated by super heroes. Hurricane is a super hero. Well, he has to fight crime. And he fights crime with superpowers. But if you’re a person who has to fight crime without superpowers…”

Leaves groaned, and walked away, ready to be a detective.
“I’ll finish my explanation later.” I said to him, and stood up. Iris walked into the back room, her Fancie close behind her.
“Good, now that she’s out of the way we can get to some questioning…” I said gleefully, and walked down the hall.

I knocked on Almost Hank’s door. He seemed to be a very unhappy man, so maybe he was villainous to lock everybody inside.
The door shot open, to a huge yellow and green blob thing.
“Wow Almost Hank, you sure got big…” I muttered, and Leaves handed me a notebook Klepto had found from somewhere, “Alrighty Almost Hank, what were you doing last night?”
“Laaaaax…” he responded, and I jotted down ‘relaxing’.
“Could you give me a demonstration?” I asked curiously. Almost Hank tipped over, and fell towards us.
“Waaaaaaaaaah!” I squealed, and we scrambled out of the way as he fell to the floor.

“Snorlax, return!” a voice snapped, and Almost Hank was sucked up into a Pokéball!
All of a sudden, Almost Hank stepped out from behind!
“Almost Hank!” I gasped, “You look thinner already!”
“That was my Snorlax you nimrod!” Almost Hank snapped, “Now whaddya want?”
“I want to know…” I replied, “Were you enough of a bastard to take the key card and lock us all in here to die?”
Almost Hank glared angrily at me, and slammed the door shut.

I wrote down, ‘yes’. Only question, though, is if he actually did it, villainous or not.

I turned around towards ‘ub’a’s door.
“Oooooooh no!” I snapped, “I am not going to question this guy! I don’t want to ruin our current relationship…”
I shuddered, and sent out Cubone.
“You can do it…” I muttered, and ran down the hall. I peeked around the corner as Cubone knocked on the door, Leaves standing next to him.

‘ub’a opened the door, and tilted towards them. I feared he would eat them up right there. Wig-is-bluff was by his side, looking just as hungry.
“Bone, cuba, cuby, bone, cub cube.” Cubone muttered.
“ul’a, bl’as, ul’ab, al’ab, bul’ab bul’aba.” Leaves translated, and ‘ub’a thought for a moment.
“I ‘as ‘andin’ ‘ight ‘ere wit’ me ‘igg’ytuff, o’ cawse…” he replied, and closed the door.

Leaves and Cubone ran over. Leaves had written the English version on the notepad. He was quite the handy Bulb-is-sore.

I gulped, as I looked at the Bunkits door.
“Uh…” I whimpered, “You know, they seem awfully innocent! Of course they didn’t do it!”
I turned around, and was once again face to face with them.
“It is rather kind of you to find us innocent.” Mr. Bunkit said in the same voice as always, “Of course, you must excuse us if we act a bit impolite. The current state of affairs is making us veeeeeeery unhappy, you see.”
“Hooooooooooooo…” HootHoot said in an agreeing tone.
“If you’ll excuse us,” Mr. Bunkit continued, “We must go kill-”
I gasped.
“Some time.” He finished, and they glided across the floor towards their room, never stopping looking at me.

I shuddered, then let Klepto out. “Alright fellas,” I said quietly, “Here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m going to get all the residents and their Pokémon out of their rooms. While I do that, you guys go through their rooms, and see if you can find the key card.”
They nodded, and argued who went into the Bunkits’ room.

I sighed, and knocked on all their doors. I knew just how to distract them…
********************************
“See that guy there?” I said, pointing, “He’s Kriiiiiiiiiilliiiiiiiiiiiiiiin, got that?”
Almost Hank, ‘ub’a and the Bunkits were actually rather interested, now that I had distracted them by getting them all here to watch Dragonball Z. Tina was thrilled that someone was finally watching her anime shows with her.
I decided now would be the perfect time to rewrite this show the way I thought it should be done…
“Now, you see, Krillin is the strongest Z Fighter of them all.” I said loudly, “He has had to save the day many times around, and has the most threatening techniques. In fact, when Goku got killed, it got Krillin so angry that he went Super, uh… Krillin. And he kicked Frieza’s ***! He took his sorry carcass and mangled him! He went BIFF and POW and KABOOMP!”
I slammed my fists against the couch as I told my version.
“And then he took that Puar thing and he took it in both hands, and he-”

I was interrupted when I noticed Leaves, Cubone and Klepto excitedly motioning around the corner.
“Excuse me…” I said politely, and ran up to them, “Alright guys, did you find the key card?”
They nodded, and each dropped a key card.
“What?” I grumbled, “Ohhhh… you IDIOTS! I wanted you to get the key card for the main door, not to their rooms!”
I groaned. It was hard being so smart.
“So what else did you find?” I muttered. They all shrugged.
“That won’t do!” I snapped, “Go back in there and find something useful!”
They nodded, and ran back into the rooms.

I sighed, then noticed something sticking out of the utility closet. It looked like a key card! I slowly and carefully slid it out, and looked at it. The sticker on it read, ‘main security’.
“This is it!” I gasped, and ran to the front door. I stuck the key card in the slot next to it, but all I got was a beep, and the card shot back out.
“What?” I groaned, and tried again. Still, the results were the same.
I tapped my chin, then noticed the number on the slot. It read ‘Main Security, A1’.
The card, however, read, ‘Main Security, A5’.

I thought for a moment, then walked back to the utility closet. The slot next to it read ‘Utility Closet, A5’.
I stuck the card in, and the door to the closet swung open.
“Yes!” I gasped, “But…”
Leaves, Cubone and Klepto ran out from the rooms with their new finds. They had each found a photo in the rooms. Almost Hank and his Snorlax, ‘ub’a and his Wig-is-bluff, the Bunkits and their HootHoot…
“That’s it!” I said with a grin, “Guys, it’s time to take ‘em down…”

I gathered everyone in the lobby, and paced back and forth. I took a puff from a pipe, and coughed lightly.
“Where did you get this, anyway?” I asked Klepto, who was on my shoulder.
“So, all, I’ve deduced not only where the key card is, but also just who it was who took the key card!”
They talked amongst themselves curiously.

“First off, I’m sure you want to know who has stolen the key card.” I started. A few of them nodded, and I’m pretty sure I heard a ‘duh’.
“Well, to be rather frank, the one who had the key card was …me!”
A gasp hit the room.
“But it wasn’t my fault!” I quickly continued, “You see, nurse Iris had given me the key card to the utility room! However, it was in fact, the key…” I walked up to the front door, and stuck it in the slot, “The security system!”
All the bars shot up, and the door opened.
“You see, the stickers indicating which room the key card opened had been switched around. However, underneath the sticker its engraved which door number it corresponds with! As you can tell, my key opened the front door.”
I shot my finger across the room.
“And this made me suspect none other than nurse Iris herself!”
There was another gasp, and all eyes shot towards the shocked nurse.

“Buuut…” I said quietly, “I came upon another realisation… This is a Pokémon Centre. And Iris would’ve been the top suspect, but there was someone even more suspicious…”


I pointed a finger at the guilty suspect.


“…Tina!” I screeched, and all attention was on her, “I noticed that ALL of you had a Pokémon, even nurse Iris, who didn’t need one! However, the one person who didn’t fit in was Tina, who didn’t have a single Pokémon! What would she be doing here without a single Pokémon!”
“Alright alright I admit it!” Tina whined, “I switched the key cards around!”
“But why?” Iris asked, shocked.
“Because!” Tina said, tears developing in her eyes, “If none of you could leave, then you’d all have to stay here and watch TV with meeeeeeeeeeee!”

There was a silence across the room.

“Wow.” I muttered, “That’s a lousy excuse.”
I returned Cubone and Klepto, and stepped out the door.
“But really, all of you are guilty…” I said mysteriously, “Of being the biggest bunch of freaks I’ve ever met!”

I cackled, and dashed outside, finally free! Finally rid of all of those clowns! Finally…

I walked back inside.
“Uh, sorry.” I said sheepishly, “I forgot all my stuff…”

[Mew Trainer Rose]

Hamtaro! Yay! *starts singing the Hamtaro theme song, realizes how much like Tony she seems at the moment, and stops abruptly*um...yeah.

lol @ the sleauthing. who'd think he would be smart enough to figure out who locked everyone in?

[burakkichu]

wow, classic! love the detective spoofery, LOL! ^__^; poor Tina....had nobody to watch anime shows with her..... ^^

[Reptilius Pyrus]

YEAH! Go Krillin! *Stuffs Puar down the toilet*

Sorry for not replying...been busy. I'll stick with ya from now on, though!

[Drago]

Mew Trainer Rose: I know how you feel, lately I've become obsessed with Hamtaro! Go Maxwell... I suppose it was a bit smarter than usual for Tony to have been able to figure everything out, but I couldn't really think of any other way to wrap things up than with him figuring it all out. He has to get one thing right, no?
burakkichu: It's good to know you liked the chapter, I put a lot of effort into that one! And as far as Tina's excuse goes, I still think it was rather lame...lonely or not!
Reptilius Pyrus: No need for apologies, if anyone should be apologising for not being around, it should be me! After all, I haven't put in a chapter for a while now... It's good to know you're back for more Mintyness though!

This chapter is sort of a 'fill-in' chapter, btw, for the next one. I was going to put it here, but I thought that would make Kurabusu seem a tad smaller than I had first pictured. I made this chapter to extend the time spent here, so we didn't end up with a short visit like the one in Dezu City.
Anyone who isn't a wrestling fan probably won't get a kick out of this one, but don't worry, Chapter 14 will return to what we're used to! I just thought I'd stay varied, and in the world of Minty Thrill, varied means STRANGE!!

Be afraid, be very afraid...

Minty Thrill
Chapter 13
World Wide Evil

I wandered around Kurabusu City, trying to find the gym. Although the only places around were tents, they really did block the view. It was rather strange that the city was filled with tents, actually, because the area was really big. It could take about an hour to get from one end to the other on foot. …Well, if you had a very slow foot.

“Unnnnnggggh…” I whined, “All this looking sucks! Why can’t I just have a Pokémon that I can ride around and make it do all the walking…”
I gazed accusingly at Cubone.
“That’s it, I command you to be a Rapidash!” I snarled, and his eyes widened.
“Bulba!” Leaves suddenly shouted, and I looked up. He was pointing off into the distance to what looked to be a big white building.
“That’s good enough for me…” I muttered, “Let’s get packing! Uh, going.”

We strolled along merrily for a while, until we found that it was a fair bit farther away than we had thought. It looked like it was just as far away as before, without the tents in the way of course.
“You know, maybe this would be quicker if we sang a song?” I muttered, and grabbed Cubone’s walkman.
I grinned, and pressed play. Apparently, Cubone had been listening to the Mario Kart 64 soundtrack, or something, and Rainbow Road started up.
“Uhh…” I muttered, “Guess I’ll add my own lyrics…”
I looked up to the air, threw my arms up, and started to sing…


I’d like to sing a little song to you
About a man, and what he’d do
He comes every day
To sweep the germs away
And this is what he’d say

In parades you’ll find
Me behind
Sweepin’ the mess
That’s what
I do best
I sweep the floor
For a few dollars more
I’m a janitor!

Sometimes he runs
Other times he just jogs
Wearing some spectacular togs
He’s an unsung hero
If ever there was one
From when he starts to when he’s done

In parades you’ll find
Me behind
Sweepin’ the mess
That’s what
I do best
I sweep the floor
For a few dollars more
I’m a janitor!

Oh yeah

Some days it isn’t worth getting out of bed
You’d rather be dead
Yeah, that’s what I said
But every day he comes without fail
I bet he could even deliver the mail

In parades you’ll find
Me behind
Sweepin’ the mess
That’s what
I do best
I sweep the floor
For a few dollars more
I’m a janitor!

Oh, a janitor…


I looked down to the others for a response.
Cubone was clapping unenthusiastically, Leaves made a loud yawn, as Klepto started milling about, looking for something to steal probably.
“Fine then,” I snorted, “See if I ever take up sanitation…”
I looked up. The building looked just as far away as ever, and the sun was starting to really heat things up. There wasn’t any snow in sight. Had winter ended abruptly? Is there a big winter commission made of snowmen and congressmen who decided that winter just wasn’t making as much money as it used to? That wouldn’t be very polite. Next time I see a snowman, I’ll steal his nose.
Over to the right, I spotted a large boulder next to a tree nearby.
“Let’s go and take a break over there.” I muttered, and started to run towards it.

After a while, it was still just as far as before.
“What’s going on here?” I muttered, and took a step forward. Only then did I notice that Leaves, Cubone and Klepto moved back, despite the fact that they were standing about!
“What’s going on here?” I snapped, and looked back to the city. Despite the fact that we had been walking for so long, the tents were only a short distance away!
Leaves took a step to the right, and I felt the entire ground move, and Leaves had made no distance whatsoever.
“We’re on some trippy treadmill!” I groaned, “We haven’t been moving at all!”

At that moment, the ground tipped over a bit, and a hole opened nearby!
“Oh no!” I gagged, “I think I’ve hurt its treadmilly feelings!”
All of a sudden, the treadmill started taking us towards the hole at a rapid pace! We started running, but it was just no use, the treadmill was going too fast. Klepto couldn’t even keep balance to take flight.
“Hang on guys,” I gasped, “We’re going down!”
We fell down the hole, and it closed behind us as we tumbled down a long dirt tunnel. We finally stopped when we crashed into a dark room.
“Dude…” I groaned, “That sucked!”

A cage dropped down over us, and a light shone, barely illuminating the silhouette of a huge man.
“Where are we?” I whimpered, “Have I died and gone to hell? …Again?”
“You are here at the headquarters…” a nasally voice responded, “Of the WWE!”
He stepped into the light. It was Brock Lesnar!
“This is really quite odd…” I muttered, “Leaves, are we drunk ...Again?”
Or perhaps drunk in hell...
Cubone and Klepto shuddered and hid behind me to avoid the gaze of this large man.
“Now you listen here, Lesnar,” I said bravely, “I know your ways, and I know your F-5’s, and I know your cheap parlour tricks! This won’t get you any titles, you boob!”
“Lesnar?” he grunted, confused, “I don’t know of any Lesnar… My name is Brad Lesnore!”
“Oh god…” I groaned, “Another cornball adventure, my life is really weird….”
“You, my scrawny friend, have been causing many problems for the WWE…” Brad continued.
“No I haven’t!” I gulped, “I’m a very big fan of World Wrestling Entertainment…”
“What ARE you on about?” Brad snarled, “This is the WWE, World Wide Evil! We are the most elite criminals in the world!” he shrugged his shoulders for a moment, “We’ve been tracking you for a while now…Agent Tony!”
“Agent Tony?” I muttered, confused.
“Yes, Pokémon FBI Agent Tony!” he spat, “Of the Yenrab division of underage drinking, smoking, and other naughty acts! You Yenrab agents have been foiling our naughty acts of stealing for too long!”
“Aww hölle…” I groaned, and shook my head. I may have just found the stupidest person in the world…
“That Richard boy was very good at contacting us, and now we have you right where we want you!” Brad cackled.
“In an oversized cage with three frightened and disorientated animals?” I muttered.
“Uh…yeah.” Brad grunted, “And now, I’m passing you four onto our professional executioners!”
“Oh no…” I squeaked, “We’re doomed!”
********************************
“Uhh…dynamite!”
“Got any?”
“Nope. Sorry.”
“Brilliant.”
“…How bout a very angry rhinoceros?”

Those were the executioners. The very daft Booker T and Goldust look-alikes, or as they seemed to be called, Booger Coffee and Goldumb.
“Leaves?” I muttered, and he looked at me, annoyed, “Can you kill me now? Pleeeeeeeeease?”

“I’ve got it!” Goldumb said suddenly.
“What?” Booger responded.
“A giant hole!” Goldumb stated proudly, “We’ll drown them in a hole!”
“Wow, that’s good.” Booger said, astonished, “No wonder you’re the smart one…”
“Now all we need is to dig a hole.” Goldumb muttered.
“Aww I’m too tired…” Booger moaned, “Can you dig it, sucka?”

My eyes widened. This was getting to be too much.
********************************
After a boring and lengthy argument about which end of the shovel to use, the two had dug a hole. They grabbed a hose, and pushed us in.
“Now you’re gonna drown!” Goldumb guffawed, “’Cause you can’t breathe underwater!”
“Really?” Booger gasped, amazed.
They turned on the hose, and walked out of the room.

“Oh no!” I shouted as the hole filled rapidly with water, “We’re going to drown!”
Leaves looked at me, annoyed.
“What?” I muttered, then, to my amazement, we were floating at the top of the hole.
The others climbed out, as I drifted about.
“How did that happen?” I muttered, “We were, like, in a hole and now we’re not…”
I climbed out, and looked around.
“We’ve got to get outta here…” I gulped, “I don’t think it’s healthy to stay in the underground lair of a crime syndicate…”

We crept along through the darkness, when all of a sudden bright lights filled the room, and we realised we were within a wrestling ring.
A lean fellow with a ponytail leapt into the ring. Rob Van Dam?
“Look, guys…” he said, “Messing with World Wide Evil…just isn’t cool. You want to get out of here, you’re going to have to face five of the top executives. Starting with me…” he pointed to himself, “Rob…Van…”
I gasped.
“Bleep.” He finished.
“Rob Van Bleep?” I muttered, “Doncha mean Rob Van Da-”
“Dude!” he gasped, “It’s not cool to swear.”
He grabbed a Pokéball, and sent out an Achoo. Oh wait, what was it called…
“Oh yeah, the ‘dex.” I grabbed it from my pocket, “I forgot about this thing…”
Raichu… it whirred, An Electric-Type…Pokémon that tends…to be athletic…
“Drat.” I snapped, “I was hoping it’d say it tends to the house…”

At that, Rob Van Bleep and Raichu curled up, and started rolling and flipping about the ring.
Leaves, Cubone, Klepto and I looked around, confused, as they circled us.
“Alright, think.” I muttered, “What shouldn’t you do when fighting RVD…uh, RVB?”

Van Bleep flipped in front of me, and jumped into a spinning heel kick. It connected with my jaw, and he resumed flipping. I fell to the mat.
“Oh yeah…” I coughed, “Don’t stand still.”
Raichu barrelled towards me, and flipped atop me, hitting me with an electric bolt.

“Aaaaack!” I wheezed, “What was that?” I pondered for a moment. “Oh wait, Rolling Thunder. …That was too corny to be true.”

Van Bleep scooped up Leaves and Cubone, put them atop each shoulder, and flipped atop them.
“Rolling fireman carry…” I told a horrified Klepto, “This is no good! We have to fight back!”
Van Bleep and Raichu climbed atop the turnbuckles, and crouched in position.
“Oh no! Frog Splash!” I gasped.
Time was running out, I had to act fast.
What would a heel do?

“A-ha!” I gasped, and picked up Klepto. I threw him at Van Bleep with all my might, and he was knocked to the floor. I dashed towards Raichu, and just as it jumped, I caught it mid-air. I lifted it above my head proudly.
“Look guys,” I grinned, “Military press!”

The Raichu opened its mouth, and chomped down on my thumb. I dropped it, and it started rolling again.
“Owwwww!” I wailed, “It BIT me! It didn’t reverse it! It didn’t counter it! IT BIT MEEEEEE!”
Raichu bounced off the ropes, and rolled at me at top speed!
“Oh no!” I gasped, and ran. I leapt over Cubone, and Raichu couldn’t help but roll right over him, sending it awkwardly to its feet.
I picked it up with one arm, and flipped it over the ropes to join Van Bleep on the floor.
“Booyeah!” I grinned, as Leaves, Cubone and Klepto came back to their senses.
“It isn’t over yet!” a man snarled, and climbed into the ring. He was bald, and had a goofy face. He looked a lot like Kurt Angle, but… he wore Canadian colours!
“A Canadian Kurt Angle?” I said, dumbfounded.
“I’m Bert Mangle!” he said, “Your Canadian hero!” He pointed to the air, and red and white pyros went off.
“So where are your medals?” I asked.
“I’m a Canadian Olympian, I don’t have any.” He responded.
“In essence…” I muttered, “It’s times like these I’m glad I’m dual-nationality.”
Mangle threw down a Pokéball of his own, and out came a Meanchalk!
Machoke. The dex interrupted, correcting my thoughts.
The picture on the Pokédex was different from the Machoke standing in front of me, though. It didn’t have any weird things on its head!
“Good god!” I gasped, “It’s a bald Machoke!”

Mangle and Machoke ambled towards us, arms at the ready.
“Don’t worry, guys,” I reassured my Pokémon, “Mangle won’t be nearly as fast as Van Bleep… What can a wuss like you do?” I snarled, only to find both opponents were gone.
All of a sudden, Mangle came up behind me, locked both arms around my stomach, and tossed me backwards.
I fell to the mat with a thud.
“More than a wuss like me can do, apparently…” I said dizzily.
Leaves and Klepto scrambled towards me, as Cubone got caught between the two.
They began throwing him back and forth in various suplexes, until Machoke put him across both shoulders, and dived to his back, Cubone’s head being put into the mat.
“Ack!” I gasped, “Angle Slam! Machoke Slam! Whatever you freaks call it!”
Machoke easily kicked the knocked-out Cubone out of the ring, eliminating him from the match.

The two then set their sights on us.
I got up, and raced towards Mangle. As I got near him though, he scooped me up and slammed me down to the mat in one sweeping motion.
“That’s cheating!” I hacked, bleeding from the nose, “You’re not allowed to win!”
Mangle threw me into the corner, and Machoke began punching me in the gut. I fell to the ground.
This isn’t good… I can’t think of any weaknesses!
Mangle dropped to his knee, and grabbed my foot. He twisted it in an impolite direction.
“Gaaaaaaaaaah!” I wailed. I slithered towards the ropes, but he pulled me back to the center of the ring, and put on the pressure.
I lifted my hand, ready to tap.

“…Bulba!” I suddenly heard. “Bulba…Bulba…Bulba…Bulba!”
Leaves was repeating the words at a steady pace.
“Natu…” Klepto joined in, “Natu…Natu…Natu…”
They kept saying it, before I finally caught on.
I twisted around to face Mangle.
“You suck!” I spat, to the same timing as Leaves and Klepto, “…You suck! …You suck!”
Mangle stopped the submission, and backed up.
“It’s not true!” he gasped, “I don’t suck! I don’t suck!”
“You suck!”
“Bulba!”
“Natu!”
It sounded more like an odd lollipop commercial, but it seemed to be working.
“No no no!” Mangle wailed, blindly stumbling about. He lifted his arm, and inadvertently clotheslined a dumbfounded Machoke, and they both fell out of the ring.
I gasped for breath. Wrestling was difficult.

Two more men came into the ring. I strained to see who they were. One was holding a Canadian flag, the other an English one.
“Lance Storm and William Regal!” I gasped.
Regal grabbed a microphone. “Now listen sunshine, I’m tired of all this besmirching going on!”
“Finally…something normal…” I sighed, relieved.
Storm took the microphone. “If I could be cereal for a minute…”
“Daaaaamn…” I sighed.
“Your troubles are just beginning, I’m afraid. Now you’ll have to face us, Lawrence Stork and Wallace Real!” Stork said.
“This really sucks, you know what I mean?” I snapped, standing up. “I mean, honestly. You’re all a bunch of rubbish impersonators. You get the names wrong, you fight barely anything like the real superstars, you’re all just a bunch of losers!”
“Well then!” Real whimpered, “Now you’ve just hurt my feelings…”
He raced out of the ring, bawling.
Stork stood there. “Uh…I hope you’ve learned your lesson…” he muttered, and climbed out as well.

Leaves and Klepto looked at me, surprised. “Uh… I guess they aren’t quite as fierce as the real thing?” I said, utterly confused.
“Be prepared to be beaten!” a woman said, and slid into the ring.
“What the? Terri?” I muttered, confused.
“No, I’m Rippi!” She snapped, “And I’m going to beat you down!”
“Bu-bu-but you can’t!” I gasped, “You’re an interviewer now!”
Rippi stood there for a moment. “…Damn, you’re right.”
“So we win then?” I said with a grin.
“Not at all!” Rippi smirked, “If I can’t fight you…Kandy will!”
I snorted. “Kandy? What kind of a name is Kandy? Jeez, this is going to be easy…”

A large man wearing a red and black mask, and similar clothing appeared in the ring, surrounded by flames.
“…Easy for Kandy, that is.” I squeaked.
Rippi left the ring, and the Kane clone stood there. From his hand dropped a Pokéball. There, before us, stood the large, looming figure of a fiery creature wearing a mask.
Typhlosion… the evolved form…of the Fire-Type Quilava…it is unfriendly…and very strong… If this is not your Typhlosion…then you are…screwed.
“Oh no…” I gasped, and ran towards Kandy. I hit him in the chest, but my fist seemed to bounce right off.
I shook it in pain, and he grabbed it in his much larger hand.
“Uh, all you wanted to do was hold hands?” I said hopefully.
Kandy pulled me off my feet so that we were face to face.
“Apparently not.” I gulped, and he grabbed me by the throat.
“Oh god, help me save me help me save me!” I wailed, and Leaves and Klepto ran up to Kandy, whacking him in the legs with all their might.
Annoyed, Kandy dropped me and picked up Klepto. He threw him right out of the ring, and Klepto crashed into the cave wall, leaving an imprint.

Leaves and I crawled into a corner.
“This isn’t any fun!” I whined, “Killed by Kandy, what a way to go!”
Kandy walked towards us slowly.
“Alright, fine.” I said confidently, and climbed onto the turnbuckle, “If it’s a fight he wants it’s a fight he’ll get!”
I leapt at him! …Only to be caught mid-air.
“Nooo!” I cried, “I said fight, not flight!”
Kandy threw me over his shoulder, and I bounced against the ropes, skidding across the mat.
Kandy walked over to Leaves, and, despite Leaves’ efforts, picked him up and put him atop the turnbuckle. He climbed up top himself, and clutched Leaves tightly by the throat. He was going to chokeslam him off the turnbuckle to the floor! This would be the kind of thing JR would say ‘Good god almighty’ about!
I got up, and raced towards Kandy. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I did it!
I raised my arms, and…pushed him. Kandy and Leaves fell to the floor, eliminated.
“Now if anything sucked, that was it!” I sighed, “I mean, I pushed him. I didn’t hit him. I didn’t kick him. I didn’t even yell ‘boo’ and make him jump off in fright! I pushed the guy! I feel like less of a man…and more like some big old pushy thingy…”

I looked across the ring, and noticed the Typhlosion. I gulped, and walked towards it. It stood there, glaring at me. This would be a good time for some dramatic western tune.
I got right in the Typhlosion’s masked face. Its breath was heavy as mine.
Now was the time to be brave.

I slowly lifted my fist, and hit it in the face!
It stumbled backwards, and turned a bright white. It shrunk in size, then turned into a strange pink blob.
Ditto…a Normal-Type…that utilizes the ability…to transform…
The tiny Pokémon quivered on the mat.
“Maybe I should’ve saved my suck remarks for right now…” I groaned, and pushed it out of the ring with my foot.

“I win!” I roared proudly, as my Pokémon climbed back into the ring, dazed but happy.
“Oh no no no, not so fast.” A voice said angrily, and another fellow came into the ring. He looked just like Vince McMahon.
“Oh great,” I groaned, “Another one. What do they call you? Vinnie McMohawk? Vego McMorbid? Venividivici McDonalds?”
“No…” he snarled, “I’m…VINCE MCMAHON!”
“Wha?” I gasped, “You’re really Vince McMahon? What’re you doing with the World Wide Evil?”
“I’m evil, remember?” McMahon said.
“Oh yeah, so you are.” I muttered, “Sorry, slipped my mind.”
“And there’s no way possible you can beat me!” he cackled, “You even try, and you’ll be fired!”
“Oh no!” I gasped, “You’ll fire me! …Hang on, fire me from what?”
“A cannon!” McMahon roared.
“Uh…ok.” I muttered, “Well then, if I can’t beat you with my abilities, I’ll have to beat you some other way.”
“Oh yeah?” McMahon chuckled, “And what’s that?”
I shuffled into his face. “Cheating. PLAN B!”
I dropped to my hands and knees, and Leaves leapt off my back. He slipped the brass knux on, and hit McMahon in the face!
McMahon went blurry, and disappeared!

“What the?” I grunted, “Leaves, I think you hit him wrong, or something.”
There was a bright flash, and I tried to figure out what was going on.
I then realised I was looking at the sun! I shook my head, and gazed around. Leaves, Cubone, Klepto and I were on the rock under the tree, and there was a… something!
Haunter… the Pokédex informed, A Ghost-Type that…loves playing tricks. It can…create illusions of things…that are not really there.
I looked menacingly at the ghost, and it flew away. Leaves, Cubone and Klepto came back to their senses.
“But…but but…” I gasped, “How could it make us think there was a treadmill? And an HQ? And how come all those beatings actually hurt? And how come Klepto was affected DESPITE BEING A PSYCHIC-TYPE?”
The Pokédex went blank for a moment, then a white screen appeared, with a message on it.

All script clauses must be forwarded to Nintendo, Pty Ltd.

I groaned.
“Come on guys, we’ve gotta go.” I sighed, and started towards the building. After such an ordeal, next time I watch Ghostbusters, it’ll be with a newfound respect for the services Bill Murray is doing for the community…

[pokemasterfrank]

*begins laughing his head off* Wrestling parodies...illusions...stupidly falling into a win...and this line...

"All script clauses must be forwarded to Nintendo, Pty Ltd."

...really struck me as funny for some reason...lol

[Reptilius Pyrus]

Hey, I'm not a big wrestling fan, but that was as funny as ever! Keep it up!

[Drago]

AAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHH!! So many...mistakes! Crikey crikey crikey, I'm terribly sorry for not chaptering and not getting to the bloomin' point...but chapter 14 is dead! Gone! Eliminated! ...Meaning it got deleted mid-way. And I'm not a man to redo a chapter, so I'm afraid chapter 14 will now be chapter 15. Until then, we have the new chapter 14. Confusing, no?

pokemasterfrank: Thank you! I was always waiting for a time I could associate Booker T with shovels, and the line was something off the top of my head. Glad to know it worked.
Reptilius Pyrus: Phew! I was a tad worried that non-marks would be disappointed, but it's good to know that you got the humour out of it nonetheless!!

And thus, another nonsensical chapter before I finally get to what I was planning on doing!

Minty Thrill
Chapter 14
Flesh, Brains and a Side of Fries

“So close….” I wheezed, across each labouring step, “And yet… so far I can’t be stuffed to walk any more!” I fell to the hard ground.
The gym looked like it’d take another twenty minutes to get to. Twenty minutes I didn’t have. Or did have, but didn’t want to give away to such a cause. Sort of like donating to charity.

“Buuuuuulb…” Leaves moaned, nudging me.
“I will not get up!” I snapped, “This ground is delightful! It makes me feel like a new man! A new, dirty man!”
Klepto began hopping up and down impatiently, as Cubone looked on worriedly. He seemed to be the only one concerned for me. Typical.

“I can’t go on…” I gagged, “How could this be winter? I see no snow! I don’t even see any rain!”
Cubone nodded dutifully, turned on the walkman, and started doing a strange little dance.
Soon, a light drizzle fell from the sky.
“That’s nice…” I said cheerily.
Cubone looked proud, and did it again.
The rain came down a little harder, and I stuck my tongue out to catch a few drops.
“Quite relieving.” I said warmly, “Thanks Cubone.”
Cubone then did an insane jig that involved much flipping, and a heavy guitar riff.
By the end he was panting, but the rain stopped.

I looked up at the sky.
“Where’d it go?” I muttered, confused, until I spotted a single raindrop falling fast. I smiled, until I noticed that the raindrop appeared to be quite large. PINE TREE large.
I stood there blankly as it rocketed towards us.
“Aww hölle…” I groaned, before it crashed down with great force, knocking me out so cold I was downright frigid.
********************************
Light…bright light…really bright light… ACK!
“Someone turn that damned light off!” I groaned, and focused. I was on a couch in a house. Seems the only way I could get inside people’s houses these days was by being unconscious…
I gazed around, and spotted a short old man. He had goggle-like glasses that were two sizes too big, and fluffy tufts of gray hair scattered across his balding scalp.
Such a grand description! Cat in the Hat pulls through again…

“Hello!” he said in a weak, crotchety voice, “My, it’s good to see you woke up. I’m Professor Punchinello, and this is my house.
“Tell me, Punchy…” I said wearily, sitting up, “You got a daughter one-sixth your age who’s quite hot and willing to discover the real seven wonders of the world?”
“’Fraid not.” The prof replied, “Just me and my faithful Pokémon.”
“Dammit!” I snapped, “Why is it I only seem to run into old men on this journey? Did two-thirds of the people take an interest in old man soup, despite its side effects? Did everyone young and frisky decide to rocket off to some strange planet, leaving me here on the planet of the old apes? Or are you just holding out on me, Mr. Punch, are you just holding out on me…”
He straightened his glasses, “None of the above, I just prefer to work alone.” He fixed his coat proudly, “I am the Pokémon God you know…”
“Oh almighty elderly man with Pokéminions to bring his bowl of mush…” I scoffed, “Why do you bring me here, you lousy, good-for-nothing, beady-eyed, foul-smelling, and otherwise non-partygoing coot! …And why exactly am I so PO’d at you?”
He chortled lightly, “I’m afraid that’s my fault…” he placed a strange Pokéthing on the table. It waved its heavy tail in a spiral, and I suddenly felt less angry.
“That’s why I’m the Pokémon god. You see, I can teach Pokémon new attacks that nobody’s ever heard of!”
“Wow.” I muttered, “That’s a handy little trick.”
I pointed the Pokédex at the Pokémon.
Smeargle…a Normal-Type…Pokémon with…abnormal battling capabilities…it can learn any move…that its opponent uses against it… However…it is not…commonly used as a serious battler…due to its low stats…
“Huh…” I muttered, “Anything else?”
Personally…I do not like…Smeargle. I find…it to be…UTTERLY STUPID AND IRRITATING AND AN OTHERWISE USELESS AND POINTLESS BEING THAT COULDN’T WIN A FIGHT IF THE OPPONENT WAS ONE-EYED, BOW-LEGGED AND HAD A SIGN AROUND ITS NECK SAYING, ‘I WILL LOSE’! I THINK I COULD FIND MORE VALUE IN CAT SH-
I quickly stuffed the Pokédex in my pocket, Punchinello and Smeargle looking on, shocked.
“Sorry….” I said, leaning forward, “My Pokédex is angry!”
“I see…” Punchinello said shakily, “I’d approve if you never presented that thing in front of me again, if its not too much trouble.”
“Certainly!” I grinned.
Now I know what to get him for Christmas!!

“So anyway, about this Smeargle.” I said quickly.
“Ah yes…” Punchinello grinned, regaining his confidence, “It can learn any move I want it to. Any move I create. It could solve world hunger if I knew how to make such an attack! Right now, though…I’m working on a skill that could save trainers millions of dollars!” he leaned closer, as though this was very secretive information, “A Revive technique!”
“Wow!” I said loudly, “This Sneerbull sure is a hoot!”
I slapped it on the back, and it was sent flying across the room, crashing into the wall.
“Oh jeez, the weakness…” I gulped, as Punchinello gasped. “…Hey, shouldn’t I have levelled up?”
********************************
We were in the living room, late at night, all sitting around watching Punchinello prepare Smeargle for the task at hand. We were sitting in a circle on the floor as Punchinello whispered instructions into Smeargle’s ear…hole.
Cubone and Klepto watched nervously, as Leaves lay on the couch, shaking his head. The rain was still heavy from Cubone’s dance.

“Alright,” Punchinello said quietly, “We’ll need a KO’d Pokémon.”
“Sure thing!” I said. I took Cubone’s walkman, and conked Klepto over the head. He fell to the floor. “Now what?”
Once again, Punchinello and Smeargle looked…less than impressed.

“A-anyway…” Punchinello continued, as Smeargle walked up to the unconscious Natu.
It flung its hands up, and I clapped enthusiastically. It pointed at Klepto, then raised its hand, strained as though it were trying to lift him up. It shouted, then started using both hands. It frantically shook its hands about, but to no avail. Klepto was still out.
“What a gyp!” I snorted, “It didn’t work!”

Meanwhile, Nearby…
There was a slight rustling in the dirt. A few pebbles rolled aside, then settled. Again, the ground shifted, though, and a bulge rose from the dirt. It grew and grew until, finally, a hand shot out. A mouldy, gray hand.
A figure pulled its way from the dirt, struggling to walk. It glared angrily. The large boulder it had as a tombstone had been touched. It looked around, until it spotted a house, where the culprits were at. It didn’t like these fiends. They had slept on what was not their’s. It wandered along, stirring up more of its kind as it ambled along. The fiends had taken its privacy, and it wanted nothing…nothing but revenge!
********************************
I sighed.
“Professor Punch?” I said quietly, and he looked up, “Your Smeargle sucks like a vacuum.”
“Speaking of which, I should dust around here more often…” Punchinello muttered, and Leaves, Cubone and I toppled over, annoyed.
“Cubone,” I sighed, “Super Yummy Revival.”
Cubone nodded as Punchinello watched on, curious.
I reached into Cubone’s helmet, and grabbed a few (smushed) berries. I proceeded to cram them down Klepto’s throat, until he couldn’t help but wake up. He coughed out some berries, then shot up, back to normal. He looked around, then began pecking at the berries he had just spat out.
“Oh god, that’s vile…” Punchinello wheezed.

The rain started coming down heavier, and a bolt of lightning pierced the sky. The thunder came louder and louder. The wind seemed to be moaning as it rushed past.
“Moaning wind?” I muttered, “That’s new…”

Punchinello tried to reassure Smeargle that it did the best it could, and he was proud of it, and various other lies, but the painting Pokémon wasn’t buying it. Frustrated, it stomped a few times. It roared loudly, and I covered my ears. I walked up to the door.
“I’ll be outside if you need me…” I yelled over the noise, “That Smeargle’s making enough noise to wake up the dead!” I flung open the door, to the dead. “See?” I snapped, and shut the door.

I paused for a moment. Something was rather curious about this situation. I opened the door, and looked at the decaying flesh, empty sockets and missing limbs of the dead. I was given the indication that these dead were quite dead, but not dead enough to be acting dead. Confused, I poked one in the stomach. A piece of flesh fell to the ground as I did.
“Hey fellas…” I gulped, “Are you dead today?”
The closest one lifted its arms and lunged at me. I shouted, and shut the door in its face.
“…Punchinello…” I whimpered, “You’ve got visitors…”

The zombies pounded on the door, moaning and groaning. Punchinello gasped loudly when he saw one peering at him through the window. Leaves, Cubone and Klepto looked rather unimpressed by these large, dead oppressors, though.
“Uhh, Punchy,” I gulped, “I think these things want to hurt us!”
“No,” Punchinello snorted, “They want to play hopscotch with us!”
“Oh, alright then.” I muttered, and opened the door. The zombies stumbled in.
“WHAT’RE YOU DOING?!” Punchinello gasped, horrified.
“What?” I grumbled, “Don’t you like hopscotch?”

Smeargle bolted from the room, and down the stairs to the basement. Punchinello quickly followed, leaving my Pokémon in the room with them.
“Wow…” I gulped, “This is quite a change.”

A zombie collapsed forward, clutching tightly around my leg. It nibbled at my ankle gingerly.
“Oh that’s brilliant…” I groaned, “Stupid thing’s a light eater!”
Leaves, Cubone and Klepto looked on wide-eyed at the undoubtedly bizarre sight.
“Guuuuuys!” I whined, “Get this thing off of me! It’s chewing my sock!!”
They shrugged, and I felt around my pocket.
“That’s it!” I gasped, “The mightiest and most undefeated weapon in the widest of wide worlds…” I pulled it from my pocket, and thrust it above my head, “…THE WEEDLE HORN!”
Leaves groaned, as Cubone applauded politely. I poked at the zombie at my feet.
It glared at me. “Ow.” It moaned, then went right back to chewing.
“Aw jeez…” I snapped, and kicked it off. I ran down the hall, followed by my Pokémon.
I looked back, to see that the zombies were also following. I skidded to a stop.
“Hey you!” I snapped, “You’re not supposed to be following too!”
“Soooooooorryyyyyyyy…” they droned, and stopped.
They stood about for a moment before putting two and two together and realising that perhaps they shouldn’t listen to my advice.
I dashed through the house, uncertain of which way lead to where. I pointed a finger bravely to a door.
“This way…” I announced, “To FREEDOM!”
We leapt in… it was the laundry room.
The zombies followed, blocking off the doorway.
“…Wait…” I squeaked, “You can’t kill us.” I paused for a moment “…At least, not with those dirty clothes! Perhaps you should discover the wonder and splendour of the Fishy and Pinkel washing machine! …Thingy.”

The zombies continued. They didn’t seem impressed. I breathed heavily as we were backed into a corner by the oncoming zombies.
“Why am I always being stalked by death?!” I wailed, “…Or dead, in this case.”
They leapt at us, and I fell back into the wall. However, it seemed I was quite fat, as it broke under my weight!
I found that we were now sliding down a large tunnel. “Oh my god, it’s a secret passage!” I gasped, “…Punchy sure has a strange lifestyle…”

We fell to the floor with a thud. I shook my head, and looked about. We were in a large, stone room with a few barrels here and there.
I heard a thud from above, then a skidding sound.
“Oh no!” I gulped, “Either someone mistook this for a laundry chute, and that’s a shirt, or they’re following us! …In which case, that would be a zombie.”

I spotted a door, and threw it open.
“AAAAHH!” a voice shouted, from within. I peeked in. It was Punchinello!
He looked up weakly.
“Oh, it’s you!” he gasped, “Quick, get in here with Smeargle and I!”
“No!” I shouted, “You smell funny!”
I shoved him out of my way and leapt into the room, my Pokémon behind me.
I shut and locked the door. For some reason, I really didn’t seem to like that Punchinello fellow.
I heard the zombies crash into the other room, then Punchinello wailed,
“Oh god no! No! Noooooooo! Aaaaaaaaack! Stop it! No! No! Stop it! AAAAAAAGGGGGRAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAA!!!!”
I gazed nervously across the room. “…Think he’s ok?”
********************************
The hours flew by as the zombies thumped both doors, unable to get inside. Smeargle yawned loudly, as Leaves paced back and forth. He didn’t like being confined. He’s not a very confinable Bulb-is-sore.
I peered over at Cubone. He was happily listening to the walkman. Curiously, I leant over to listen.

-denly, to my surprise, HE DID THE MASH. He did the Monster Mash. THE MONSTER MASH-

I widened my eyes.
“You’re quite the sick little brown thing…” I muttered, and looked at Klepto. He was hopping about again, each time making a click against the box he was standing atop.
“Could you stop it, Kleps?” I asked weakly, and he ceased swiftly.
We sat about for a moment, when all of a sudden Klepto began rolling around.
“…What the hell are you doing?!” I shouted, “Damn freaky bird…”

Suddenly, Klepto fluttered around the room. He landed clumsily about, scanned the area, then went back to flying.
“Sorry Klepto…” I sighed, “There’s nothing here to steal.”
Frantically, Klepto swooped down at me, and snatched up the Weedle horn. He then took flight.
“Heeeeeey!” I whined, “That’s miiiiiiine!”

I got up, and ran about the room after Klepto. The others could only watch as I angrily dashed after the small thief.
I leapt about after him, until I managed to knock the horn out of his beak. It fell quickly, and tore through the lid of one of the boxes.
Annoyed, I opened the remaining lid, and stuck my hand in the dark box.

“Hang on…” I muttered, and pulled my hand out. I looked in. “There’s no bottom to this box! It’s a secret tunnel!”

Smeargle perked up and ran up.
“See if it’s safe.” I instructed, and chucked Smeargle down.
“Smeeaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrr…” it bellowed for a long while, before finally, landed with a sickening thud.
“…OK, who’s next?” I said with a grin.

Leaves, Cubone and Klepto backed into a corner, as though I were some sort of maniac.
I groaned, irritated. “You guys just can’t appreciate pure genius when you see it.”
I adjusted my sparkly coat proudly, “And there’s no bigger genius than Tony! Tony… Tony… hang on, what was my last name?”
They all collapsed, and I shrugged.
“Suit yourselves.” I muttered, “Tell the zombies I said hello.”
I leapt down the tunnel, and plummeted quickly towards the bottom.

I crashed down next to Smeargle, and was shocked… to find that I was in the room directly outside the previous one!

…The one filled with the zombies, of cawse.

“Oh crap!” I whimpered, as the zombies lurched towards me,
“No no no!” I squealed, “How do you kill a zombie? Uhh…kill the summoner!”
I started bopping Smeargle over the head.
“Come on, die!” I shouted, “The only way you’ll survive is if you die!!”

I shoved Smeargle aside, and snatched up the nearby Weedle horn. I pointed it at the fiends.
“Begone, foul beasts!” I roared, and began stabbing at them.
They just kept coming!
“Help meeee!” I babbled mindlessly, “I want my mommy! I want my daddy! I want my cousin! I want that guy at the gas station who calls me Rick! I want my Foxtel!”
They pounced at me, and I covered my eyes weakly.

“Stay off property!”
I felt a weak slap on the wrist.

I opened my eyes, to see that they were walking away!
“Hey, guys?” I mumbled, “You forgot to eat me…”

“They couldn’t!” a voice from behind them chuckled.

I looked over to the source of the voice. It was Punchinello!
“Puncho, I thought you were dead!” I muttered.
“Not at all!” he replied, ruffling slightly. “The zombies wanted vengeance on you, and they got it. The harshest punishment they could think of and, as you could imagine, thinking wouldn’t be one of their best qualities! Lucky for you, zombies are very dumb!”
“Yeeessss…” I droned unknowingly.
“Although I suppose they would’ve eaten your brain….” He continued, “But they seemed to think that doing so would cause them to rot.”
I was about to point out that they were already rotting, but decided against it. “So I’m safe?” I said with a sigh of relief, “And what was with you screaming.”
“All that screaming?” Punchinello muttered, “Oh yes, well, that would be because I’m mad then, wouldn’t it.” He grinned malevolently, “And your safety all depends on the results of my next experiment.”
Smeargle grinned widely. Only then did I notice the stitches across the back of Smeargle’s head…
It rolled out an operating table, with various medical implements.

“N-n-next experiment?” I squeaked, “What’s that? What’re you going to do with all those sharp tools? Make a sandwich?” I laughed weakly. Punchinello and Smeargle walked closer and closer. “Hey, you know, I bet Leaves would love to be a part of this, in fact, maybe all of it? Hehe…heh… Uhh, what’re you gonna do with that?

…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!”
********************************
“I wish you luck on your journey, m’lad!” Punchinello grinned, waving, “Don’t be a stranger! Perhaps you could help with even MORE of my experiments!”
“Smeeeeeeeeear!” Smeargle shouted happily, and also lifted a hand.

I walked away uncomfortably, and continued towards the gym. Leaves, Cubone and Klepto followed close behind me, shocked.
“Not a word!” I said sharply.

We walked, until I heard snickering.
Angrily, I returned Cubone and Klepto to their Pokéballs. Leaves resumed cackling uncontrollably.

What absolute nonsense! I’m going to be the greatest Pokémon trainer in the world, and I don’t get the slightest bit of respect! I can’t believe this…
Oh well. When we get to the gym, I’ll show everyone what I’m capable of. I’ll show them not to mess with me! Not now, not ever!
They don’t know now…but soon…they’ll ALL know… I thought to myself… and wagged my tail anxiously.

[Mew Trainer Rose]

lol! A tail! does it look like a Smeargle's tail?
and again, a chapter with random insanity that just seems to take up space. still, the Frankenstien-like wierdo with the super-weak Smeargle was funny. I like when Coubone used Rain Dance (or something siilar), then did "an insane jig that involved much flipping, and a heavy guitar riff." gotta love the crazy dancing rain-bringing ground-type.

[Drago]

Mew Trainer Rose: Wow, that's a great idea! I was actually thinking of something like a Saiyan tail ^^; But a Smeargle tail would be sooo cuter! Thanks! I now plan on stealing your idea *cackles villainously*
Oh, and before anyone asks, yes, the extremely weak Smeargle was something already done by OzAndrew in EBTV. I hope there's just enough difference between the two, though, to not have been a direct rip-off!

And so, finally, I may continue back on the path of which I was planning on taking. Thanks, all, for your patience, and continued support!

EDIT: Oh yeah, it's my birthday. Fifteenism is MINE!!

Minty Thrill
Chapter 15
The 'Nome Dome

“Leaves…what’s going on?” I gasped loudly, throwing my arms to my face dramatically, “It’s impossible…it just can’t be!! …Look! Look!” I stumbled backwards. “The sun, Leaves, the sun!! It’s… it’s disappeared!! O sweet gods up above, are we from now accursed with eternal darkness? Will we ever again see the sweet, glistening glow of the warm star? Has it all ended? Or is this a new path you have chosen for us? A new future that consists solely of mole men and spunky mulch shippers from Illinois? Why have you taken our sun? You fiends! You cruel fiends! You will forever regret this day…this day…this day…” I gazed at my watch, which I had only recently glued back together, “Hang on, night. All right, you will forever regret this night! This night on which you have taken away the sun! A night with no sun? I stand aghast at such a thing! I…I…” I lowered my previously pointed finger, and blinked. “Uhh…I suppose the sun doesn’t usually come out at night, does it…”
I folded my arms across the back of my head, and put a decisively pensive look on my face, “You know…it wasn’t very polite of Punchinello to send us off in the middle of the night…” I gazed behind my shoulder, “And with a tail, no less.”

I reached over and grabbed the newly acquired appendage, for the first time paying full attention to it. It was a tan colour, and looked like a paintbrush, dipped in a dark brown. It somehow rang a bell…
“Hang on…” I muttered, and grabbed the Pokédex. I pointed it at my tail.

Smeargle…a Normal-Type…Pokémon with…abnormal battling capabilities…

“Oh brilliant…” I groaned, and slipped the ‘dex into my pocket. I sighed, and let my tail drop, coiling it along the way. Just then I realised something.
“Hey, wow!” I gasped, and flicked the tail around, “I can control this wacky thing!” I twisted it in all directions, and slapped it against the ground.
“Hey Leaves, look at this!!” I swung the tail in his direction.
“Saaaaaur!” he wailed, before I inadvertently slapped him across the face.
“Saaur…” he whimpered, tears welling up in his eyes.
“Uh, maybe you shouldn’t have looked so closely…” I gulped.
I painfully crammed the tail into my pocket, and continued towards the gym.
“Well at least we know it’s open,” I said with a grin, “I mean, all the lights are on. …Of course, maybe that just means that the janitor doesn’t like the dark. Or the dark doesn’t like the janitor.”

Soon, we were at its doors. Or door, as the case happened to be.
“Hey, I want to make a big entrance…” I said with a grin, and opened the door ajar. I took a deep breath, lifted my foot, and gave it a mighty kick!
It flung partly open before stopping with a crash and bouncing back. There was a loud ‘OW!’ heard.

“Oh god!” I gasped, “I hurt the door!” I threw my arms against it. “How could I do such to something that has done so much for me over time? How could I have hurt the door! I HURT THE DOOR!!”
It opened, slightly, to a portly man rubbing his nose. “Quite alright,” he muttered, “Although it’s pronounced Theodore.”
“Not now!” I hissed, “The door needs me!!”

Theodore shrugged, and picked up a pen and paper, “So welcome.” He said with a warm smile, “Are you participating as a competitor or spectator?”
“Well…” I muttered, “I’ve often been referred to as quite a spectacle, but competitor…I guess.”
“Excellent!” he chortled, and from behind him popped up a tall, long-nosed woman who reminded me of something quite ugly.
“And what, pray tell, would your Pokémon be?” she said, frowning. Her nostrils flared so widely I thought she was going to suck me up.
“A cheating Bulb-is-sore, a dancing Cubone and a rather cheeky thieving Natu!” I muttered, “But alas, I’ve given away my battling methods… Perhaps you’d like to give me some new Pokémon?”
“I should say!” she scoffed, and I gasped hopefully, “None of your Pokémon qualify!”
“Whaa?” I snapped, “Qualify for what? The Olympics?”
“I’m afraid, lad, that the ‘Nome Dome is quite the serious event,” Theodore sighed, “And we can’t make any exceptions…”
“The Gnome Dome?” I repeated, “You mean elf battles? Isn’t that illegal?”
“No, no, no…” Theodore grunted, “The ‘Nome Dome! Quite the spectacular event! Here…” he handed me a flyer, “Here’s the basics…”

I glanced at it, curiously.
101 Splendid Ways to Remove Warts

“Wow!” I gasped, “This IS spectacular!”
The woman snatched the flyer away from me, and stuck another one in my hands.
“Hey…” I whimpered, “I was reading that!!”

The ‘Nome Dome
Where cute Clefairys, gruesome Gravellers, and dreaded Drowzees finger their way to the finals!!

I frowned. They might want to change their terminology…

The ‘Nome Dome was an idea originally conceived by the residents of the back streets of Moralliny City. They strenuously combined the fine art of mastering Metronome with…

“Wow!” I gasped, and Theodore and the woman beamed proudly, “This is sooooo boring!!”
“Wha-whaaaaaat?” Theodore rambled, stepping backwards, “You must be kidding!! You’re just a disrespectful little punk, aren’t you?!”
“Maybe so…” I muttered, “But who cares about Moronilly City and their Meterfoam?”
Theodore turned an entertaining shade of white, as the woman screeched as though she had just won the lottery. Or she was getting rhinoplasty.
“Alright alright!” I shouted, covering my ears, “I love your tournament! It’s as enjoyable as a fresh-baked pickle from the oven!!”

All of a sudden a young, attractive girl stepped in.
“Mom! Dad!” she snapped, “Please! Stop harassing the entrants!!”
They backed away obediently, and my saviour looked at me, embarrassed. Instinctively, I got a mental analysis. She was a little short, but very attractive. She looked perhaps a year or two older than me, but still had very cute pigtails. She wore a black shirt with sparkly red handprints across the front of it, which seemed quite inviting indeed. She had jean shorts, which showed off quite a bit of thigh…down to…

“WHOA!” I gasped, and dropped to her feet, “Look at those shoes!! I mean, wow! Just look at ‘em!!”
Leaves shook his head. The movement reminded me he was there, rather than somewhere very far away, as I would’ve preferred.
“Come on, admit it!” I gurgled, “If god were a shoe, he’d look just like this!!”
“…Excuse me?” the girl snapped, backing away.
“Pardon…” I muttered, standing up and brushing myself off, “I was just admiring your god shoes.”
“Uhh… neat.” She said quietly, before putting the smile back on her face, “Anyway, I’m Chase Ginnit! I’m the organiser of the ‘Nome Dome! Of course, I’m entering it myself, as tradition. These are my parents, Theodore and Daisy Ginnit.”

Jeez, hope that isn’t that Bunkit kid grown up and with a surname change…

“These are your parents?” I said in my most suave voice, “I couldn’t tell. I mean, you’re nothing like them.”
“Really?” Chase asked shyly.
“Yes, they’re quite hideous!”

“WHAT?” Chase gasped, looking angry, as though I had insulted her or something.
“Uhh, uhh…” I gulped, “I meant, they’re charming! They’re brilliantly smart! I love them!”
“So I’m nothing like them?” she snarled, “I must be appallingly dumb then!”
“No, no, no!” I whimpered desperately, “Just a little dumb?”

What followed was a slap so forceful I lost vast quantities of saliva, curiously ending up on a family portrait.
Theodore and Daisy stormed away, either hurt, or looking for a rifle.
“Bye mom! Bye dad!” I squeaked, before looking back at Chase. She was glaring angrily at me.
“Chase…” I babbled, “That’s an interesting name, does it have something to do with…chasing?”
“Now look…” she hissed, pure hatred in her voice, “Before I rip your jaw off with my thumb, and beat you to death with it, is there anything else you’d like to say?”
“Uhh…” I gulped, looking around nervously.

What would they say in soap operas…

“I’m carrying your child!” I shouted. There was a stunned silence.
“Saaaur…” Leaves moaned, and covered his eyes.
“…Guess that doesn’t work both ways, does it?” I chuckled sheepishly, as she raised her fist. It was too late to assume she was just pleased with her hand and showing it proudly to me.
“I’ll be your servant!!” I choked, and she stopped.
“What?” she muttered, and lowered her fist.
“Well…” I said, catching my breath, “You said you were participating in the ‘Nome Dome? I’ll enter it, and, if I lose, I’ll be your personal servant!”
“…But what if I lose?” she asked, leaning against the door.
“Uh, hadn’t thought of that…” I muttered, “But if you lose… you have to marry me!”

“What?” she gasped, with a shocked look on her face. However, it soon turned to a grin, “Sure thing. There’s no way you can win, so whatever you want to believe, kid.”
“Oh grand!” I grinned, “So, uh…what am I supposed to do?”
Chase rolled her eyes. “Alright, you enter any type of Pokémon, up to a maximum of three. These three Pokémon have to know Metronome to qualify, which is obvious enough. The catch, though, is that you can’t command them to use any other attack. You can tell them basic things, run, jump, duck, whatever, but the only proper attack they can use is Metronome. That’s where the fun begins… So who’s your Pokémon?”
“Cubone!” I said with a grin.
“They have to have Metronome, bonehead.” She snapped.
“But he does know Metronome! He does, he does, he doooooooeeeeeees!” I whined, stamping my foot.
“Fine I’ll enter your stupid clod of dirt.” She snorted, writing it down, “Makes it easier for me to win. Your name?”
“Yergago!” I grinned, “Yergago Meniterelli!”
She didn’t look impressed.

“…Oh, you meant my REAL name.” I sighed, “Anthony Jamieson Franklin Morgan Tyler Jones Roger Harry Edward Chambers.” I paused for a moment, “The first.”
“And hopefully the last…” she muttered, “And how many battles have you been in before this?”
“Real battles?” I grunted, “Uhh…Three.”
“Just three?” she chuckled, then noticed the belt buckle, “You must’ve been pretty lucky to be able to beat Gordon then… so how many of those did you win?”
“Absolutely none of them!” I said proudly.
Chase peered at me for a moment, before getting back to writing. She muttered something, but all I caught was ‘weird’ and ‘freak’. I guessed it was something like ‘it’s weird how freaking good he is.’
“And that’s it.” She grinned, setting the form on a nearby table.
“Great!” I exclaimed, “So when’s my first match?”
She looked at her watch lazily, “In a minute or two. Guess you’d better hurry…”

“Egad!!” I gasped, and ran past her, Leaves close behind.
I ran through the building until I spotted a door labelled ‘This way to arena’.
“Nah…” I frowned, “Too obvious.”
I continued down the hall, until I came upon a dead end.
“Hm.” I muttered, “The tournament’s a tad more dull than I had imagined…”

I backtracked for a while, until I reached a door.
“This would be it!” I said anxiously, and let Cubone out from his ball, “Get ready to fight Cueball!”
I roared, and threw the door open. Inside was a mop, a pail and…a pair of suspenders! They looked pretty villainous.

“I guess this is some sort of test… Cubone!” I commanded, “Use Metronome!”
He lifted his fingers, and wiggled them about. They soon glowed an eerie glow. Something quite E.T. inspired.
Hey, that’d be handy when it gets dark…

Eventually, the objects started to vibrate. He was going to make them float!
They lifted from the floor before…falling back down.
“Hey!” I snapped, kicking the mop, “What happened?”
I reached into my pocket, and grabbed the Pokédex. I pointed it at Cubone.

Dream Eater…

“Cubone!” I moaned, “You can’t eat dreams from a utility closet!!”
He stumbled around, before widening his eyes and coughing out a circular piece of paper with an image on it. The Pokédex seemed to be rather talkative, and continued.

When the user’s HP…is full, the targets dream is…rejected and displayed.

“Hm!” I muttered, “Suspender dreams…”
I picked up the paper, curious.
“Hey look! The mop is in Vegas…”

Suddenly, a strange yellow thing appeared in front of us. It looked like a combination of a cat, a goat, and an emoticon of some disturbing description.
“Wh-what is it?” I gasped.
“Abraaaaa…” it droned.
“A bra?” I grunted, “Must be tricky to put you on…”
It opened its eyes, and Leaves, Cubone and I were instantly enveloped in a bright white beam.
“Yaag!” I moaned, “I’ll have spasms in the morning…”

The light then disappeared, and we were in a small room with an irritated-looking boy tapping his foot.
“It’s about time you showed up!” he whined in a very irritating voice, “I’m ready to fight you and win!”
“Ack, you win already!” I hacked, “I succumb to your horrible voice!!”
“That’s not funny!” he croaked, “Let’s show him Abra!”
“And that’s a bad thing?” I uttered, confused, when Cubone was suddenly flung towards the ceiling.
“Bulba?” Leaves gasped, and we watched him float high above our heads.
“Yes!!” I cheered, “Cubone FLIES!!”
Cubone hovered in the air for a moment, before rocketing towards us.
“Cubone DIVES!!”
He picked up speed, before crashing to the floor with a sickening thud.
“Cubone…crashes.” I gulped, and looked over at the opponent. He had his eyes closed, and was concentrating much in the same way Abra was.
“Hey, what’s he doing?” I asked Leaves, who closed his eyes, and lifted his claws. He then dashed to another spot, and slammed into the ground.
“So you’re saying that they’re communicating psychically to send and receive commands, namely lifting Cubone up and slamming him back down with an obvious disregard for the condition the floor will be in afterwards?”
Leaves nodded slowly.
“Oh, that’s really bad.”

Abra continued to fling Cubone about, sending him into walls and skidding across the floor.
“This isn’t fair!” I wailed, “Chase said he couldn’t use attacks!”
Leaves nudged against me, and pawed at a piece of paper with a scribbled message on it.
She said you could give basic commands, which obviously includes mental throws.
“Anything else?” I asked, and Leaves turned the page over.
Moron.

“This isn’t good!” I whimpered, “Cubone’s going to get slaughtered! Pokédex, what do I do?”
I looked down at the device, which had a flashing message on its screen.

Battery Low.

“Brilliant…” I spat, and crammed it in my pocket, “Well… I may as well accept it… I lost. How much longer is this going to take? I mean it’s already…”
I peered down at my watch. “11:59!”

I sighed, then looked closely at the date. 18th of February?
That meant…

The seconds ticked down, as Abra forced Cubone high above his head.

“Three…
…Two…
…One…”
The clock reached midnight.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!” I screeched insanely, and Abra and his trainer’s eyes opened suddenly, shocked.
Cubone began falling back towards Abra. He waved his fingers, and used Metronome. He took the form of a giant, flaming bird!
“Sky Attack!” the opponent gasped, as Abra looked up, terrified.
Before they could react, Cubone crashed down onto Abra, engulfing it in flames.
There was a bright glow of light and fire, as well as a mighty rumbling.

When it was over, Cubone stood, panting, beside a deep crater.
Down at the bottom, Abra was lying in a pool of its own blood, stuttering, twitching, and looking as though it may never battle again.


“…Whoo-hoo!” I cheered, “I go to the next round!”

Leaves, Cubone and my opponent looked at me as though I were a cruel, heartless beast.
“Umm…” I squeaked, “Anyone up for party games?”