Minty Thrill (Trainer Rip-Off)

[pokemasterfrank]

XD Happy Birthday to you indeed! *blows noisemaker* *takes out cake and candles* WHEE!

Very nice. Funny as always. Nice use of puns! And don't make fun of the doors...they have feelings too ;_; lol

Anyway, very nice. Sorry I haven't been replying *is behind actually* I should have read teh last few chapters to catch up, but I had to post when I saw your name on the birthday list. lol anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

[Mew Trainer Rose]

yay, random attacks! from a pokemon that seems to know all sorts of moves it shouldn't know.
I wonder if he can attack with his new tail... that would be even weirder!

[SilverMachop]

This story is so darn funny! I keep cracking up at its wit and clever humor! The chapter where they break into the 'mayor's house,' hide in the fountain, and steal 'Pokéballs' is going to go down in my book as a classic comedy scene! If the nominations for winter awards was still up, you would've got so many nominations for me, DragoKnight!

So far, he has a troublesome Bulbasaur, a music-loving Cubone, and a thieving Natu; who next? Maybe he'll get something new for his birthday?

May the Force be with you!

[Reptilius Pyrus]

Happy birthday!!!! I would sing, but.... no. You don't want to hear it.

Great chappies! What would be really funny is if Tony could Sketch stuff with his Smeargle tail... like accidentally Sketching someone puking....

[Powarun]

Very funny, as insane as comedy central. And when I was reading about the zombies I was listening to Ha Ha you are dead by Greenday. But you tickled the funny bone of anyone who reads this, and my only complaint would be the wrestling only because I hate it. In this kind stuff no need to proofread because it is awsome no matter how many mistakes you make.

[Drago]

pokemasterfrank: Thanks for birthday fun! Oh, and don't worry about being behind. It's not like there's much to miss! (Well, it sounded clever the first time I went through it...)
Mew Trainer Rose: lol, you just love this tail concept, don't you!! And at some point it'll be made clear just what's with Cubone. ...When I figure that out myself, that is.
SilverMachop: Thank you so much! Coming from someone who wrote something as utterly insane as The Adventures of Tyler and Magmar, that means a lot! I see a Crossover coming along!! ...Well, no, guess not. lol, Tony's too much of a goof to pull that off!
Reptilius Pyrus: lol, rest assured that tail's going to cause a lot of mischief sometime soon...
Powarun: Thanks for reading, and telling me what you didn't like. I'm sort of unsure, so I just throw a bit of everything into the mix, and see how it all turns out. The wrestling's going to be tuned down a tad, well, except for some of Leaves' moves. It's all the Bulbasaur knows, besides troublemaking!

Hey, I thought I'd try something new for this chapter. It's a little something I call a 'Mini Mint'. It's a chapter that's fun for the whole family, with a moral learnt and new friends to recognise!
...Well, not really. Basically it's just a shorter-than-acceptable chapter, but hey. I will add a moral. Just for giggles.

And before anyone asks (which they won't. JUST. YOU. WATCH.), I'm a Canadian. So any remarks made in this chapter are just good-spirited fun. Not Canadian-bashing. Unless of course I gleefully bash myself, but that I doubt. ^^;

Minty Thrill
Chapter 16
MINI MINT
Stupid Stupor

“Isn’t that great?” was what I was awoken with.
“…Wha?” I gargled, rubbing my eyes.
“I’m sure I’m going to win!” the person who had woken me continued, “But it all depends on who the next opponent is, I guess.” He glanced at his watch, and placed a surprised expression on his face. “Jeez, time flew! I better get an early breakfast before training. Us James’ need our breakfasts…”
I blinked twice, trying to comprehend what was going on.
“But it was nice talking to you! See you later, Yergargo!”
James walked off, and I shook my head.
“Leeeeaves…” I hacked, “What’s going on?”
I looked down, and saw that the Bulb-is-sore was sleeping.
“Wake up!” I whined, and nudged him with my foot, “Yergago? …Leaves, what were we doing?”
He stretched slightly, and pointed towards the door.
“Oh yeah, we were leaving…” I wiped my face lazily, “In fact, we were going to find a place to sleep. …I guess I had an entire conversation with that guy while I was asleep, or something!”
I paced for a moment. Perhaps because I was worried. Perhaps because I was confused. Or perhaps pacing just excited me.
“2:23…” I chuckled as I gazed at my watch, “James wasn’t kidding when he said early breakfast!”
I heard a light rumble.
“Hm, guess I’m a little hungry myself…” I gazed down at Leaves, who looked to agree, “How ‘bout a late dinner?”
He looked confused.
“I’ve never had breakfast for nine years!” I snapped, “An unfortunate Lucky Charms accident.” I looked up spitefully, “Lucky for some.”
Leaves shrugged, and sat down.
“Let’s see what there is to eat…” I muttered, and walked around the room.
“Pencil…plant…paper…pension-pending Prince Panda’s pretty puerile purposes.” I looked proudly over at Leaves. …He wasn’t impressed.
I reached into a nearby sofa, and felt around.
“Keys…remote control…nose…” I yanked out some expired chips, and chewed on them. “Hm, couch potato.”

Leaves looked as though he had had enough. Dutifully, I grabbed Klepto’s Pokéball, and threw it to the floor.
“Kleppers!” I said with a yawn, “Go find us a place to eat!”
He took flight, then stopped abruptly, and landed on the floor.

“…And by that of course, I mean a place with food. NOT A PLACE WHERE FOOD WOULD BE NICE!” I snarled, waving my fist.
Klepto snickered slightly, quite an odd feat for a bird, and fluttered gently out the door.
Leaves and I sat around for a few moments.
“This is just brilliant! I can’t even get a damned turkey to find food!” I whined, “This is about as successful as a dog with three legs, no eyes and a sign around his neck that reads ‘I am unsuccessful’.”
Leaves rolled his eyes, when Klepto finally flew back, looking quite pleased with himself.
“You found a place?” I asked hopefully, to which Klepto nodded.
“Yes!!” I shouted, shooting a fist to the air. I felt such an air of superiority. If I saw a three-legged dog in the street, I’d kick it.
I walked outside, and crashed into a wall. I looked up. There was a sign that read ‘Place to Eat’.

“Very smart.” I muttered, rubbing my nose, “Wonder how many will catch on.”
I stepped inside, and groaned when I spotted the waiter, who was quick to walk towards me. I gazed at his nametag, which read, ‘Dwayne Sparingly’.
“Oh crap…” I moaned, “You’re a Canadian waiter, aren’t you?”
He frowned, “What are you on aboot, eh?”
“Brilliant…” I spat, “So anyway, is it possible I might consume foodstuffs at this venue?”
“What?” he grunted.
“Can I eat?” I tried again.
“What?” he repeated.
I groaned. I knew what I had to do
“I wanna fill my gut, eh hoser?” I uttered.
“Ah, now yer talking my language!” he chuckled, “It’s just your luck, trainers eat free during the tournament!”
“Oh well that’s dandy!” I bubbled, and shoved my way towards the food.
“Those Canadians are so impossible!” I snapped, and Leaves shot a piercing glare at me. “…And it doesn’t matter that I am one!”

I put this aside, and pounced at the food like a cat on a mouse. Or perhaps a cat on another, smaller cat, should it be hungry enough.
I crammed my face full of anything I saw, which included three napkins. I looked hungrily around to spot something I hadn’t yet tried. Fortunately Leaves was nowhere in sight.
I noticed a large plate of unusual goo. Of course, not that I can think of any goo that isn’t unusual. Any good goo, anyway.

I was a tad worried to try, so I just put a small spoonful on my plate.
Then I noticed that there was a small sign in front of the plate.
‘WARNING, do not eat. Sparingly.’

“Phew!” I sighed to Leaves, “Good thing they warned me! …Better take a lot then!”
I slopped a vast quantity of it onto my plate, and was quite pleased with the sizzling it made (as it dissolved the plate, but that’s beyond the point).

I sniffed it curiously, then heard from the dome.
‘Anthony Chambers, your match is in seven minutes, Anthony Chambers, report to the arena NOW.’
“Oh maaaan!” I snapped, “Just how long was I sleeping?”
I shovelled the mess down, not even taking into account the taste, or lack of.

I wiped off my mouth, flicking goo into Leaves’ eye in the process, and bolted towards the dome.
I crashed, and fell down.
“Oh no!” I gagged, “I’m too late! I’m going to miss the match, and I’m never ever ever going to win Chase’s hand!”
Leaves frowned, and pointed ahead.
“Hang on.” I chuckled, “That’s a wall, isn’t it?”
I picked myself up, and walked through the doorway to the arena.
“James?” I gasped, when I saw the friendly fellow standing there.
“Yeah?” he muttered, confused.
“You’re my opponent?” I gasped, “I’m going to have to go through a shocking rivalry that results in you being the better trainer and me having to lose a few fights all in the name of campy traditions?”
My vision then blurred, “Oh no!” I squealed, “I can’t see! Vision eludes me! As does fortune and lovely women!”
I noticed a shiny form before me, that grasped the wall tightly.
“Oh so that’s the way you want to play?” I snapped, “Beat up the blind man? Well, we’ll show you! Go get ‘em, Cubone!”
I threw the ball at the figure, hoping to knock it out that way, and some odd brown thing was produced.
“What’s that?” I whimpered, rubbing my eyes. “Oh yeah, Cubone. Sorry, I was thinking of Bonecu. Or Bonk you, as I call it.”
I pointed a finger at the opponent. “Cubone,” I commanded, “Use Metronome!”
Cubone obeyed, and a small wave of water flew up…then crashed against me.
“Splash?” I whined, “Nooo… That won’t do!”
I wiped off my face, my vision still blurred, and quite salty thanks to the wave. “Try it again!”
Cubone lifted his arms, summoning all his force for the random attack, then sent a blast of water…at me.
“Splash? Again??”
The opposing figure seemed to use Metronome now, and shot out a blast.
“Water Gun!” I gasped. Cubone leapt aside, and the water hit me.
“Would you stop that?!!” I snapped, “Metronome Cubone!”
Cubone lifted his hand, then began to spin rapidly.
“Look!” I said proudly, “Dizzy Punch!”
He picked up speed, then finally hit himself in the face.
“…Uh, Cubone.” I muttered, “I think you’ve misunderstood the concept of Dizzy Punch. Try something else!”
He shook his head, before finally charging at the opponent and headbutting it. He crashed into it with a metallic clang, and bounced off. It didn’t seem to have any effect, the thing didn’t even flinch!
“Damn vision…” I groaned, “Can’t even tell what it is… Try Metronome one more time Cubone!”
Cubone used Metronome, paused for a moment, then reached into his helmet. He pulled out an egg.
“An…egg?” I muttered, confused, “What’s up with that?”
I then noticed a ticking sound.
“Bulbaaaaa…” Leaves gulped.

“Oh god, Egg Bomb!” I shouted, “Cubone, get rid of it! Get rid of it!”
In a panic, Cubone threw it to me.
“No!” I screamed as I caught it, “Get rid of it, not me!”
I piffed it into the air with all my might, but it just soared right back into my grasp.
“Confounded gravity!” I snarled, then looked down at the blur that was Leaves.
“Leaves!” I gulped, “How can we get rid of it?”
Leaves pointed at me. “Bulboom!” he muttered.
“I mean how are we going to get rid of it with all limbs intact?!” I snapped.
Then it hit me.
“I’ve got it!” I grinned, “I’ll leave it here, then run!”
I set it carefully on the floor, then tried to make a break for it, only to find my tail had coiled around the egg.
“Daaaaamn!” I moaned, “Stupid dutiful tail!” I took the tail in both hands, “What are you, a hero?”
I slapped it, but it proceeded to slap me back.
“Owwwww!” I whined, “Help! I’m beating me up!!”

I grabbed the egg. It was ticking faster and faster.
“No good hoping its just a sinister clock…” I whimpered, “It’s gonna blow!!”
I threw it over my shoulder, and covered my ears.

The explosion wasn’t half as loud as I’d expected, but the results were quite surprising.
“Well done, Yergago!” a voice cheered.

I looked up, and, my vision cleared, saw James.
“Why are you congratulating me?” I squeaked.
“Why not?” James chuckled, “I mean, you beat that Bernard guy without even looking at him!”
I turned around. There was a stuttering lad, and a charred Pokémon.
“But I thought I was fighting you!” I muttered.
“Uh, no…” James said, confused, “My match is next, I came early to cheer you on.”
“Buuut…” I gasped, “If you were all behind me, then who was I fighting??”

I looked back to where Cubone stood. In front of him was a drinking fountain.


“…Oh.”

I turned around, frustrated. “Why didn’t you tell me I was fighting an inanimate object?” I groaned.
“Well…” Bernard chuckled, “We thought it was funny…”
“Oh yes.” I hissed, “REAL funny. Even though I was blinded and I don’t even know how! It could’ve been anything! The atmosphere, my corneas…”

I then brightened.
“Hey,” I said with a grin, “I’m hungry. Who’s up for some Canadian goo?!”

MORAL OF THE MINT: …Don’t trust cooking Canadians, eh?

[Mew Trainer Rose]

...Yet James (wherever he came from) doesn't find it odd that whats-his-face has a tail. Spwaking of which, how can a Smeargle tail grab anything? It's Aipom's tail that has a hand. meh.

[Powarun]

Nice small and funny, this would be a pokemon quest good enough for comedy central

[E_Eevee]

Well, I don't come to the board much any more (not at all actually), but burakkichu recommended I read this. I have to say this is hilarious! That's and the title. Minty Thrill, wonderful. Anyway, a few mistakes and stuff, but I'm not picky. Oh, and don't tell the canadians they can't cook. My friend Danielle would be very offended. He'd prolly curse you out in french ^^

[Drago]

Mew Trainer Rose: Well, the way I saw it, if he doesn't notice that Tony's asleep in the middle of a conversation, what are the chances he'll put two and two together and consider the fact that having a tail is a bit odd? ^^;
Oh, and the tail grabbing thing was just bad writing on my part. I've rephrased it, so now the tail's coiled around the egg, which was my original intention. Thanks for pointing that out.
Powarun: Thanks. I had it planned so that a Mini Mint would only come along every once in a while, most likely when I run out of ideas...
E_Eevee: Thanks for reading, and your comments! I'd be glad to correct any mistakes if they're pointed out, that'd be quite handy. And as far as Canadian cooking goes? Well, it's quite good, actually, but I just like poking fun.

Oh, and thanks for recommending the story burakkichu! I would tell people about it myself, but, you know, one doesn't like to blow one's own trumpet. (No, but you might at least have told us you had a trumpet.)
...Sorry, I watch too much Blackadder...

Minty Thrill
Chapter 17
Nickelfinals

I grinned a wide, and a noticeably unsettling grin. Looking at the battle charts, I had come upon a revelation.
“Look!” I squealed, “Only three more matches ‘til I’ve pummelled all opposing blobs, fish and trees!” I beamed at Leaves, “I’m in the nickelfinals!!”

I struck a dramatic pose, which looked more like Rambo dancing the La Bamba.
I strolled casually towards the bathroom; a generally irritated Leaves by my side. “However…” I raised an eyebrow. Or at least I believed I did. It’s somewhat difficult to see your own eyebrow. Except for that one time with the rubber bands and squirrels, but that’s another story for another bottle of Tequila.
“I must look my best!” I gazed lovingly into the mirror, until I noticed a horrid blemish beneath my nose.
“ACK!” I cried, throwing my hands to my face, “I’ve spotted a spot! I’ve pinpointed a pinpointer! I have…A PIMPLE!!”
I stomped like a furious four-year-old. “Why is it you only see these things when you’re looking in the mirror?” I whined, to which Leaves rolled his eyes. I dashed across the bathroom, and barricaded the door with various barricading objects. Namely a trashcan, and a piece of paper with the words, ‘large barricading article’ on it.

I leant closer to the mirror. It was amongst the hairs of my moustache… or lack of, anyway. It was more like peach fuzz, but it was my fuzz nonetheless.
“So how does one go about destroying it without harming the ‘stache?” I grumbled, puzzled. Leaves shrugged, disinterested. “Well my moustache is very important to me! It makes me look more like Mario!”
Leaves frowned.
“It’s-a me, Tonio?” I said sheepishly.

I readied my finger against the offender in the ritual picking position, most certain it’d fling against the mirror in an amusing display. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth.
“Here goes…” I whimpered, and scraped my finger across my face at a ferocious pace.
“Oh OW!!” I bellowed, and looked wearily into the mirror. “Aww hölle!” I snapped, “I missed. I was aiming for the wrong side of my face…”
Leaves shook his head.
“Well the reflection tricked me!!”

I threw my hand into my pocket, and yanked out a staple remover.
“A-HA!” I shouted, and Leaves’ eyes widened.
I gulped. Hopefully this wouldn’t be as painful as the odds indicated. I winced, and placed the staple remover on my face, ready to tighten my grip.

There was a thud outside the room, then frantic knocking on the door, that shocked me so much that I threw the staple remover over my shoulder.
“Hey! What’s goin’ on?!” a voice shouted, “The door’s jammed! Hello? Someone open the door! I gotta use the toilet!”

I frowned.
Well, obviously. What else would you do in a bathroom, genius?

I looked around.
“Hang on, where’d the staple remover go?”

*PLUNK*

“Oh NO!” I cried, and dashed over to the toilet, to see the metallic object disappear into the depths.
“Nooo!” I shouted, “I’ve dropped me staple remover down the loo!!”

“…What?” the voice muttered.
“Stay out of this!” I snapped, and walked back to the mirror. I sighed, and looked over at Leaves.
“Got a hammer?”
He shook his head.
“A chisel?”
Again, he denied.
“A blonde cheerleader?”
He gave me a strange look.
“Hey, it’d make me feel better…” I muttered.

I felt around my pockets one last time.
“…Leaves.” I said solemnly, “I just may have to do one of the most painful things I’ve done since eating crackers while getting a root canal.” I pulled out… the Weedle horn.
Leaves took a step back. “So what do you think?” I gulped, “Got any better ideas? Is this the most stupid and idiotic thing I’ve done in my life…or twelve minutes?”
Leaves nodded frantically.
“Ah, bite me!” I spat.
Leaves then pounced like a tiger, and took a big chomp!

“WAAAAEAAAAAAAAAGGH!!!” I screeched, “Not LITERALLY!!”
My upper lip began to spurt blood like a leaking pen.
“Oh no!” I gulped, “Is it noticeable?”
I looked over at Leaves, and shot blood into his face. …Obviously it was rather noticeable.
“I’m coming in there!!” the voice bellowed.
“Aaaaag!” I wailed, as blood shot into the sink, “Gotta clean up!”
I hurriedly smeared my face against the mirror, the counter, and Leaves.
“Quick! Quick!” I choked, and dashed across to the toilet stalls, dripping blood every step of the way, “Gotta hurry!”

I grabbed a roll of toilet paper and, all the while wondering why I hadn’t just cleaned up with that, wrapped it around my face, leaving only my eyes uncovered.
I scooped up Leaves under my arm, and threw the door open.

“All yours.” I said in a muffled voice, leaving the person with the bloody bathroom. (I made a funny!)

I looked around, my head now quite a bit heavier.
“This is just brilliant!” I spat, Leaves just barely able to understand me, “It’s quite hard to think when covered in mass layers of toilet paper… And I just can’t bare to think what’ll happen if I sneeze…”

Leaves put a look on his face. Not a worried look that one might expect, rather, quite the devious one. Needless to say, I won’t trust him around pepper anymore.

‘Anthony Chambers, your match is in seven minutes, Anthony Chambers, report to the arena NOW.’ The unknown voice over the com bellowed.
“Oh dear, that’s not at all good…” I grumbled, “Why is it always seven minutes, anyway? I mean, honestly. Give me a good eight minutes and I could come better prepared!”
I took a step forward, then came upon a realisation. “Hang on, I can’t go out there like this! I’ve got to come up with an alias… something new and original… A-ha! Superhero names! That’ll work… uhh… Batmanthony? Green Lantony?”
Leaves groaned, not impressed as per usual.

“No…” I said with a frown, “I’ve got to keep this name simple…”
********************************
The announcer groaned at the new name I had scribbled down.
“Can’t believe I’m doing this…” he spat.
He straightened up his coat, and threw his hand to the air, damn near slapping me in the face.
“And in this corner…” he began, then took a deep breath, “The Maniacal Mr. Mummy Mysteriously Mocking Many Minute Mice Malevolently!” he paused, “…With a Melon.”
I proudly held my newfound melon to the air, for all to see. Always handy when Klepto brings back this sort of thing regularly.
“Blood will spill!” I snarled, in the clever rhyming mummy call I had made just that moment.
The announcer raised an eyebrow, “What’s that?”
I sighed, “Blood will SPILL!” I said louder.
“Sorry…” he mumbled, “Can’t understand a word you’re saying…”
I stomped my foot, and shifted the toilet paper. “BLOOD WILL SPILL!!” I wailed with such force that I shot off some of the blood from earlier. It hit the announcer right on his deep purple coat.

“…See?” I said with a smirk.

“Gooooo Snorlax!” my opponent, who for now we’ll just call Opponent, roared.
I snickered. “Snorlaxeseses don’t know no Metroknowme!” I paused for a moment, “Metronome. God knows how I pronounced a silent K!”
I shifted in my coat. Twice, because the first one was quite awkward, and resulted in the coat falling to the floor.
Opponent and the announcer’s eyes widened at sight of the Smeargle tail.
“Oh now come on!” I snapped, “Who’s to say mummies don’t have paintbrush tails!” I stepped up accusingly, “Perhaps they are all artists deep down? That Imhotep guy looked like quite the Fettuccine!!”
I threw down a Pokéball.
“Go Cubone!” I screeched.

As the shape formed, it turned out to be Klepto. I then realised that he had no fingers with which to Metronome.
“Uhh…” I muttered, “Klepto you silly thing! Don’t ever pop out of your Pokéball without me instructing you to! Why, any idiot would think I grabbed the wrong Pokeball back at my locker room!”

I looked ferociously at Leaves, “That I’d grabbed the wrong ball out of Locker 269, combination 2-5-4-9. Why, that would be quite bad, and I would have to send somebody off to get it, wouldn’t I?”
I scowled at Leaves, and he finally caught on. He left towards the locker room, slowly as possible.
“Uhh…” I muttered, “How about… Umm… Before this battle I have something to say!”
I took a deep breath.
“Four score and…” I paused. Just how did the rest of that speech go?
“Uhh…Four score, and seven beers ago…”
********************************
“And extra pie…FOR ALL!” I wailed, finally finishing the seventeen-minute speech. Leaves set the new Pokéball at my feet.
“Phew!” I grinned, “So what did you all think of my speech?”
Opponent frowned. “What’s that? I haven’t understood a word you said!”

“Nooooooo!” I cried, “That was the kind of speech that could end wars, begin peace, and make X-Boxes fit inside your house!!”

I threw the ball down furiously. “Go Cubone!!”
Cubone was flung out of the ball at a furious pace.
“Be ready Cubone!” I warned. Cubone looked over his shoulder.
“…Bone?” he muttered, confused.

I snarled, then pulled the toilet paper aside so that it wasn’t covering my mouth.
“Just don’t die on me!” I wheezed.

There was a low rumbling.
“What was that?” I gasped, in quite the cliché term. I mean, who really does know what it is…
A windy gust occurred.
“Oh no!” I choked, “That’s the Snorlax!”
It made another low rumbling, and I finally figured out what it was doing…

“IT’S GOING TO EXPLODE!!” I bellowed.
Leaves and Klepto frowned.
“Sorry, force of habit.” I chuckled, “I meant, it’s about to attack!”
Then I spotted it.
“Look!” I cried, “A bubble! It’s charging up its Bubble attack!”
Cubone dived for cover, and I closed my eyes tight.

…Still, nothing happened. I looked up, to see that Opponent was shaking his head, disappointed.
I wandered up towards Snorlax. “Wow, this is a pretty weak Bubble attack…” I muttered, curious. I reached up towards the bubble, which was strangely coming out of Snorlax’s nose, and poked it. It popped, and Snorlax promptly leapt up with a roar.

“Oh would you look at that?” I grinned, “It was sleeping!”
It lifted its fist furiously.
“Eeaaag!” I cried, and pulled Cubone in front of me, “Hit him, not me!”
I got up and ran over to the other side of the arena.
“Don’t worry, Cubone!” I shouted, “I’m right behind you!”
About a mile behind you…

Snorlax threw its fist down in Cubone’s direction, and he leapt aside. He lifted his bone, and hit Snorlax in the arm with all his might.
However, the bone just bounced off against Snorlax’s bulk, and was thrown aside.
“Cueball!” I cried, “I’d recommend ‘noming right about now!”

Cubone lifted his fingers, and wiggled them quickly as he could.
Suddenly, he began to circle Snorlax at blinding speeds with Agility.
“Slow down Cubone!” I shouted, “You’re going to get dizzy!” I held my head tightly, “Or get me dizzy, anyway…”
Snorlax immediately responded a Metronome of its own, causing Double Team. Several Snorlax filled the room, cramping things considerably. Cubone leapt and bounded through several immobile copies, then eventually used Metronome, and used Waterfall, making them all disappear.

“Way to go, Cubone!” I cheered, then noticed the Waterfall crashing right towards us. “Aww hölle.” I whimpered, “Anyone got an umbrella?”
The salty water hit Leaves and I, as Klepto flew above, either to avoid getting hit by it, or just so that he was at a safe laughing distance.
I looked back at the battle.

The two were ramming into each other, Cubone with more speed, Snorlax with more size. Cubone then opened his mouth wide, and bit onto one of Snorlax’s ears! Snorlax shook its head around angrily.
“Yeah, go Cubone!” I cheered, “You bite!!”

Snorlax slammed its head to the ground, and Cubone was flung off. He shook his head rapidly, then dashed behind Snorlax. He used Metronome, and sent an icy beam towards Snorlax’s back.
Snorlax stumbled around, then eventually crashed onto its back.
“Yeah!” I cried, then noticed that Snorlax was beginning to slide, “Yeah, that’s bad…”

“Booooooone!” Cubone wailed, as Snorlax slid around on its back in quite the absurd display. Cubone ran like the dickens, finally coming across its bone. It snatched it up, then turned towards Snorlax.
Cubone started to run towards his opponent, then used the bone like a pole vault to leap up onto Snorlax’s stomach.

Cubone began to pummel Snorlax while it was on its back. It writhed in pain, unable to lift its own weight. Cubone Metronomed again, and pulled up a huge rock.
“Hang on…” I frowned, “Where’d he get that from?”

All logic aside, Cubone threw the rock at full speed at Snorlax.
Cubone flipped off, used another Metronome, and coughed out a Zap Cannon.
It rocketed towards Snorlax at a fantastic speed.

I put on my best Wario face.
“I’m-a gonna win!” I grinned, then noticed Snorlax turning a variety of bright colours.
“That’d be Recover…” I groaned, as Snorlax leapt to its feet.
It used Metronome, and span around quickly. It turned out to be a Swords Dance, which launched the Zap Cannon off, back towards Cubone. Although it doesn’t affect Cubone, the force sent him sliding back a bit.

Cubone set his bone at the ready, and leapt at Snorlax’s throat like an insurance salesman. Snorlax opened its mouth, and grabbed the Cubone in its jaw!

“Oh no, Cubone!” I wailed, “You’re not tasty enough for this to work!!”
Snorlax shook Cubone about ferociously, until Cubone pried itself out with its bone, and rolled back.
Snorlax took this opportunity to Metronome, sending Razor Leaf at Cubone. Twenty-seven head toward him.
Confidently, Cubone lifted his bone, and span it across his fingers. The leaves were deflected, and shot right back at Snorlax.
Quickly, Snorlax opened its mouth, and chomped down on the deflected attack.

Cubone raced towards Snorlax, and hit him with his bone at a rapid speed. So hard, in fact, that the Snorlax’s eyes opened up!
“…Whaaaaaa?” I gasped, “Snorlax’s…have eyes?”

Snorlax looked at Cubone, then scoffed, unimpressed.
It is…hungry…
The Pokédex offered.
“Well that’s all well and good,” I snapped, “But what’s there to eat?”
Snorlax peered around, then looked at me. A smile spread across its huge face.
“Laxsnorlooooo…” it gurgled.

“Pokédex…” I gulped, “Translation?”
The ‘dex beeped for a moment.

Marshmallow…

Snorlax stomped towards me, and I frowned, confused.
“What marshmallow?”
I stood about for a moment, before finally feeling around my toilet-paper covered head.
“Oh!” I grinned, “I’m a marshmallow.”
Snorlax began to run towards me, its mouth opened wide.

“Aww hölle.” I squeaked, then dashed out of the arena.
Snorlax followed quickly, its arms outstretched like it wanted a hug. It was too late to assume its intentions were that innocent, however.

“Help meeeeeeeeeee!!!” I cried, and ran dramatically off toward the sunrise.
********************************
Afternoon. I was sitting around the lobby, having only avoided being eaten thanks to Snorlax’s decision to abruptly take a nap.

“Congratulations on your win, Yergago!” James cheered, “Who’dve thunk it, you won by a count-out!”
“Yes…” I grumbled, “I guess leaving the arena for five hours would be a bit long, wouldn’t it?”
I buried my hands in my face. Well, at least I had won.

“But one thing I don’t get.” I said with a frown, “How come its trainer didn’t call it back before it was too late?”
“Well, as it turns out…” James chuckled, “The trainer had fallen asleep halfway through the match!”
“Like Pokémon like trainer…” I grinned.

Just then, the trainer walked past.
“He’s gonna eat me!!” I squealed, and leapt under the chair.
“Buuuuulb…” Leaves groaned.

I popped my head out. “Well, nonetheless, I’m ready…
For the sorta-finals!!”

[Mew Trainer Rose]

Metronome with a silent k? o.O Only Tony....

The Getysburg Adress, misrecited (if that's even a word), muffled by toilet paper? well, that would be quiet odd. and he wouldn't have had to bother stalling if he just kept all of his pokemon with him at one time. but then again, that would make sense, and we know that Tony can't make any sense, don't we?

[Powarun]

Great Chapter that is orginal getting eaten by a SNorlax. Why didn't you make the guy with the tail use Metranome? Giant marshmellow, and a canadian breakfast two exellent chapters.

[SilverMachop]

Another excellent chapter, DragoKnight! I absolutely love it when the announcer has to introduce Tony with his especially long title. That's another classic scene for me.

Now I've gotta wait for the next chapter! Aw, hölle! Oh, well, I can be patient. May the Force be with you!

[Drago]

...In how many languages can I say I suck? One, most likely. *lol*
Alright, so I'm a week later than usual.

But first, I'd like to thank everyone who voted for Tony in the Most Humoristic Character section, and congratulate SilverMachop and Magmar for beating me (with a stick. Ow.)

Mew Trainer Rose: Sense? Tony can't even spell it. Oh, and thanks for mentioning how it was the Getysburg address... I wasn't exactly sure ^^;
Powarun: Well, now that I think of it... Getting eaten by a Snorlax isn't entirely original... But it worked!
SilverMachop: Thanks for patience, sorry I had to make it apply more than usual... Whee! I'm making classic scenes! There's something I never expected.

So here it comes, yet more insanity. Quite a bit this time, too.

Minty Thrill
Chapter 18
Been Beamed?

“One, two, three, four, five…” I counted, then paused. “No, that can’t be right.
One, two…three, four, five.” I frowned, “Two, four…FIVE!” I furrowed my brow, angrily, “ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE!”
I shot up from my seat, angrily. “Daaaaaaaaaaamn!”
Leaves looked at me, shocked.
“Uh, sorry.” I muttered, “Thought I’d grown an extra finger.”

I shifted my weight onto my left foot, and looked thoughtful. “You know, I think it’s about time I got a new Pokémon. I haven’t caught one in like, nine chapters…”
Leaves looked at me, highly confused.
“Uh, never mind…” I said quickly, “How about we take a peek outside…”

I cautiously stepped outside. It was getting quite dark, and the sun was just barely visible above the nearby mountain.
“It’s hard to see out here.” I whispered, stating the obvious.
I knelt down towards the ground. “I reckon Pokémon are nearby… I can smell them!”
I gazed over my shoulder, towards the dome. “Oh yeah, that’d be them there…”

I crawled along quietly, as I assumed it was the thing to do.
I looked around, until I saw something. I strained to see. It looked to be green.
“I see something!” I hissed, and slowly crawled towards it.
“Careful…careful…” I whimpered to myself, until I was right in front of it. “NOW!” I cried, and landed upon it like a sumo wrestler tripping over a hurdle. I grabbed hold of it as it squirmed.
“I’ve got it! I’ve got it!” I yelled.
“Saaaaaaur!!!” It snapped.
“It’s a Saur!” I exclaimed, excitedly.
It slipped from my grasp, and ran towards the light of the doorway. I frowned.
“…Leaves?” I muttered, “…Since when have you been a wild Pokémon?”
He groaned, and stomped back into the dome, angrily kicking the door closed behind him.

“Sorry!” I snapped, “Not my fault you refused to cooperate!”
I sighed, and walked towards the door. I turned the handle, then walked in… to the door.
“Hey!” I whined, “You’re supposed to be open!” I shook my fist. “Don’t defy me!!”
I turned the handle again, but still, the door wouldn’t open.
“Heeeeeeey!” I shouted, “I’ve been locked in!”
I looked around, and noted the trees, grass, and rocks.
“Alright then, locked out!!” I whined, and pounded on the door. Still, though, it wouldn’t open. I thought perhaps I could tempt it with a chocolate bar, but decided otherwise. I’m not one to bribe a door.

I wandered around the side of the building, when a light blinded me. I peered over, and noticed it’s the sun. It had just come out from behind a mess of clouds. It spilled over the area, and almost seemed like pure daylight again.
“Yes!” I cheered, “I can see clearly now, the clouds are gone! I can see an obstacle in my way! I won’t stop, no, I’ll walk right into it! It’s gonna be a painful, painful day!”
I followed my own instructions, and walked full-speed into a bike. I tumbled over, and clutched my ankle in pain. I got up, and pointed accusingly at the bike
“You stupid thing!” I roared, and kicked it furiously. “Nobody trips me up, except me!” I stuck one foot in front of the other, and tripped again.
I coughed up a cloud of dirt. “See?” I wheezed.

I got up, brushed myself off, and looked around. There were actually a lot of bikes. I looked closer at the one I had just mangled. Upon closer inspection, it was actually a motorbike. …They were all motorbikes.
I gulped, and looked over my shoulder. There was a large group of burly, tattooed men.
“Oh now come on!” I shouted, “Like you’d just stand there and watch me kick the crap out of your bike! No waaaaaay!”

They snarled (quite the humorous sight, considering most of them had large beards, and it looked like the hair was growling at me), and stepped towards me, brandishing all manners of weaponry.

A chain.
A baseball bat.
A lead pipe.
A pretzel.
I frowned. A pretzel?

I looked at its holder, who was chuckling, embarrassed.
“…James?” I said with a frown.

“What?” the lead biker, who looked pretty much the same as all the rest of them, “You told us your name was Jagger!”
“Uh…” James said with a gulp, “Well… Perhaps I wasn’t completely honest about that…”
“And another thing!” the biker continued, and marched over to a bike much smaller than the others, “I’m quite suspicious about your hog!”
He reached down, and yanked off the license plate. Without the clever disguise, I could now tell that it was just a tricycle.
“A-ha!” the biker roared.
“Uh, yeah, about that, Miguel, I’ve been meaning to get that fixed…” James gulped, “And made bigger… and less pink…”

*Ding ding* the bell on the tricycle rang as Miguel squeezed it.

James slapped his forehead, “And fix my horn too…”
“You little lying freak!” one of the bikers, an aging fatso with a thick white beard, roared.
“I am not a lying freak, you St. Nick wannabe!” I shouted, then noticed that now all eyes were on me. “Oh, wait… You weren’t talking to me, were you? …Uh, sorry Santa…” I squeaked, and backed up into James.
“What are we gonna do, Yergago?” James whimpered.
“I know just what to say!” I said confidently, and stomped towards the bikers.
I looked furious, then flipped around to face James. “My name is Anthony you dimwit!” I bellowed, “Not Yergago, ANTHONYYYYYYYYYY!!”

Miguel threw his hand up and signalled for the rest of his crew to get us.
“Aww hölle…” I gulped, “…Alright then, I’ll face you clowns in a Pokémon battle!”
Miguel scoffed. “Pokémon are for wimps!”

I reached into my pocket, and pulled out a Pokéball.
Oh great, it’s empty… Better not let them know, maybe I could just pretend its an invisible Pokémon…
“See how wimpy THIS is!” I roared, and threw the ball at them as fast as I could. They jumped aside, and the ball crashed right into one of the bikes. It was thrown off balance, and tipped towards the next bike, which was also knocked over into the next bike. I picked up the ball as the bikes fell like dominoes, leaving large dents in the bikes and knocking every single rear-view mirror off.

“Not very wimpy at all!” I gulped, and James and I ran as fast as we could. From behind us, I could hear Miguel.
“Come on, guys!” he roared, “Get on your bikes!”
“No way, no how!” one of them gulped.
“It’s dangerous to drive without rear-view mirrors, man!” another added.
Miguel groaned, annoyed. “Fine then, we’ll get them on-foot! …Just act like we’re still on bikes!”
I looked over my shoulder, and spotted them coming after us, some of them shouting ‘vroom-vroom’ for extra effect.

“We’ll never outrun them!” James cried.
“Why?” I panted.
“Because we’re both incredibly unfit, and have little experience in running away from hairy men!” he shouted.
That’s what you think…

I screeched to a stop. “Yeah, guess you’re right.” I said, and shrugged, “I never really liked being alive all that much anyway.”
The bikers close in on us, and get their weapons at the ready.
“WAIT!” one screamed, looking at his watch, “It’s 8:58! We gotta get home!” They all turned, and ran for their lives.
“Bedtime?” James suggested.
I looked around. It was incredibly barren. Nobody was outside anywhere. Even Kurabusu City in the distance looked empty.
“Everyone’s bedtime?” James chuckled.
“Well, I don’t know why they took off, but I see it as an advantage.” I sighed, “We can always die some other day.”
“Agreed.” James nodded.

I didn’t even take one step when I stopped. Unintentionally, mind you. I couldn’t make one little move! James looked to be frozen, too.
I felt the need to scream when the sun started coming closer towards us. Soon, it was so close that I could tell it wasn’t actually the sun at all! Rather, it was a great disc emitting an eerie light.
All of a sudden, James and I were slowly plucked from the ground, and began hovering up toward the disc. …Either it was a flying saucer, or a very large magnetic Frisbee.
We were sucked into the saucer, and the floor closed beneath us.
It’s dark in here!

We fell to the floor, no longer paralysed, but quite trapped!
“Oww!” I moaned, “Tell me, why is it always me who’s getting into all these messes?”
“Most likely because you seem to cause them…” James snapped.

Then, out of the shadows, two figures walked out. They looked like… humans? I strained to see better. When I did, I noticed a slightly less human quality. They were both completely red, from head to toe.
“Red?” I muttered, and frowned, “I thought Martians were supposed to be green, and short… I’m quite disappointed.”
“Silence, Earth scum!” one of them snapped, “You should consider yourselves quite lucky! Xeneli and I have chosen you to be our husbands!”
“But…” the other sighed, her red finger pressed against her lips, “Our father wouldn’t approve of it, Reneta. Boices and humans don’t mix. Well, according to them, anyway.”
“But,” the first replied, “what if we made our fathers THINK they were Boice beings!”
“Um…” I cut in, “My friend and I were wondering if you could choose from two options. One, let us go, two, an introduction may be a bit more polite, and whatever you do don’t pop out of our stomachs and roar all scary-like, and make us so unalive that one could consider us dead!”
James gulped,
“We’ll pay you!” he whimpered, and shot his hand into his pocket “I’ve got 5 cents and a bottle cap!”
“Excuse us,” the second apologised, “I’m Xeneli, and this is Reneta. We are of the Boice race of Namuhs.”
“Meaning…” I muttered,
“We’re better than you, so there!” Reneta answered.
“Oh.” James coughed, “Fair enough.”
“The problem is,” Xeneli continued, “Our father would never let us get married to filthy toe jam like you.”
“Well,” I sighed, searching for an exit, “That’s just too bad, we’ll remember you, write letters, send e-mails and hope for the best. There’s only so much toe jam can do, you know.”
“But,” Reneta said with a smile, “I have a plan to fool them.”
She whispered into Xeneli’s ear. She began to laugh with giddiness.
“That’s gotta work!” she chuckled, and winked at James.
“Well James, you sly devil…” I cackled, “Looks like you’ve got an admirer!”
“I’ll take the ugly one.” Reneta smiled.
“We’re gonna have to play along for a while,” I whispered to James, “unless you wanna get probed!”
Xeneli lead James ahead.
Reneta pulls me towards her, and looked at me curiously. Quite impolite, actually.
She lead us to a huge sort of portable, and sent us inside.

With a flourish, Reneta twisted a knob. Bright red splotches of paint then rained from above.
“Agg!” James moaned, “Nasty!”
Reneta twisted the knob the other way, and shoved us out.
“They’re ready.” She pushed us towards a mirror.
“Is it just me, or is everyone in the world incredibly stupid?” I frowned.
We’re lead to a great big room with a fat red bloke that looked sort of like Bacchus with a sunburn.
Next to him sat an angry frowning rock.
“What’s all this about?” he roared, his entire body beginning to shake.
“Father…” Reneta said slowly, “We request to marry these two wonderful Boices!”
“Wha-whaaat?” he bellowed, and sat up straight, “But what makes them worthy?”
“Well, they’re quite charming!!” Reneta snapped, and looked at me. Her father leant forward, frowning.
“Alright then Mr…” I gulped,
“Donolo.” He finished.
“Rightio Donny!” I grinned, “Be prepared to be amazed!” I began to moonwalk. “Billie Jean is not my lover! She’s just a girl, who I met in the night. It turns out she’s just a transvestiiiiiiiiiiiiite!”
“Stop, stop, stop!” Donolo roared, “That’s horrible! I refuse to let you marry these clowns!”
He set his gaze on James, who was in the corner with the rock.
He poked it, and it wrapped its hand around his arm.
“Sweet!” James gasped.
The rock paused for a moment. “…Duuuuuude.” It responded.
“Sweeeeeet!” James repeated, leaning forward.
The rock looked interested. “Duuuuuude!” It said louder.
“Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!” James bellowed.
The rock jumped up and down, “Duuuuuuuuuuuuude!!” it shouted.
“Sweeeeeeeeeeet!”
“Duuuuuuuuuude!”
“Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!”
“Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!”
“SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!”
“DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!”

Donolo clapped his hands madly.
“I don’t believe it!” he gasped, “I’ve never seen Geodude that excited since he was but a mere pebble!”
He turned back to Reneta and Xeneli. “Of course you can marry these fine lads!”
He looked towards me, “Just as long as HE doesn’t sing anymore of my brother’s songs!!”
********************************
James and I sat about, waiting.
“Well,” I moaned, “We’ve failed. We’re about to get married to the red folks, and Leaves is probably going to take my wallet…”
I snatched it out of my pocket, “Well, we won’t let him do that!”
James watched, disgusted, as I swallowed the wallet.
“There.” I said satisfied, and coughed out a coin.
Suddenly, the chairs we were sitting on began walking.
They dashed out of the room, and kicked us toward the altar. Donolo stretched slightly, and took his place. Seemed he would be the one marrying us.
I got up, and looked up at Reneta.
“Well, at least I can enjoy this part…” I muttered, “Lay a big wet one on me, baby!”
Reneta lifted her hand and slapped me across the face.
“Too soon?” I squeak.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Donolo said warmly.
“Awwww!” I snapped, “That was no fun!”

Xeneli smacked James, and Reneta promptly dragged me into a large, purple-tinted room. She threw me on the waterbed and locked the door.
She leapt on the bed, and looked at me hungrily. …A bit too hungrily, actually.
“Uhh…” I squeaked, “Now what?”
“Why,” she responded, “It’s time for the customary eating of the husband!”
I gasped, and backed away.
“Oh don’t worry…” she assured, “Within a week you get regurgitated. Most of the time the husband survives…”
“Aww hölle…” I muttered, “Uh…uh… I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!” I suddenly blurted.
She piffed the keys at me.
“Don’t be long.” She cooed, “I don’t want a late dinner…”
I slam the door shut behind me, then looked around.
“James!” I gasped, then ran towards him.
“Tony, I got good news!” James smiled, “This thing’s set on hover! We haven’t actually gone anywhere!”
“Brilliant…” I muttered, wiping the red paint from my face, “But we won’t be going anywhere without a plan…”
“HUMANS!” a voice bellowed, I looked over my shoulder. Bad timing! It’s Donolo! “Plan on dying?” James gasped.
“For the last time, no!” I snapped, and ran towards a window.
“Break it!” James screamed.
“…But I don’t want to break a nail…” I whined, then reached into my coat.
“Tail don’t fail me now!” I gulped. I swung it above my head, then hit the window at top-speed. It shattered into pieces, and we leapt out.
“Hey, since when have you had a tail…” James frowned.
“Uh, little while. Can’t remember when, exactly.” I replied.

…It then hit me that we were plummeting down at top speed.
“Oh…” I gasped, “This won’t be fun!!”

…Back on ground, the bikers had gone back to patrolling.
“Maybe the aliens got them.” a scrawny biker suggested.
*BANG!*
Miguel shot him with little thought.
“I don’t think so.” He announced, and looked around.
“Hey, what’s that in the sky?” he asked, pointing up to two tiny dots becoming bigger and bigger.

Quite obviously…those dots happened to be James and I! We landed right on top of them, breaking our falls, and most likely some backs.
Angrily, they stumbled to their feet, and glared at us.
“Oh god!” Miguel squealed, “They’re bleeding!”
He ran off at top speed, leaving the rest of the bikers to stand there, dumbfounded.
“Uh…” one of them muttered, “We’ll be leaving now…”
They shuffled off, defeated.

“Wow!” I grinned, “We beat ‘em!”
I took a step forward, and slipped up in the paint.
“And beat my head, too!” I groaned.
“Tony…” James began.
“Yes?” I sighed.
“You’re quite stupid.” He muttered.
“…Thank you.” I said quietly.

[SilverMachop]

That chapter was odd! Odd and different! But that's good; I applaud odd and different! How many Pokémon stories have aliens kidnap the trainer? None, I tell you!

This story is so witty! Keep up the good work!

[E_Eevee]

*cackles* That was amusing. Tony and James are both so...erm, can't think of a descriptive enuff word for them even! The aliens were amusing too.

[burakkichu]

still love this fic! ^^ sorry, haven't replied in a while...em, haven't *been* here in a while come to think of it. you're welcome for the recommendation, btw. ^^; can't think of any one moment i liked the most....it was all hilarious ^__^

[Drago]

SilverMachop: Thanks for understanding the unusual. At first I thought it was a tad risky, but then I thought back to chapter 14. If Tony can encounter zombies, why not aliens as well?
E_Eevee: Thank you! Oh, and considering Tony and James, perhaps its best that that word not be said...
burakkichu: Good to see you're back! I'm always worried perhaps I had made people leave in disgust... ^^;

I'm finding that the 'nome Dome is taking a lot longer than I intended, so I believe its time to return to the battles!

Minty Thrill
Chapter 19
Klepone the Bone Bird

I stepped forward, a proud, confident look on my face. There was no stopping me now.
I looked down at Leaves, who looked back at me and nodded.
I took a deep breath.
“Well, here it is…” I said quietly, “Of all the hardships… of all the struggles, I was always sure that we could never avoid this… Leaves, now is the time… the time to do it…”
I gazed at the large wooden door.
“Well here it is.” I repeated, a little shakily, “The moment of truth… The… the…”
Suddenly I snapped like a twig.
“I can’t do it!!!!!” I bellowed, galloping down the hall like a donkey that had just been taken out of a blender.
“Saaaaaaaur!” Leaves snapped behind me, frustrated.
“No!” I whined, “I don’t care if it’s for the good of being a trainer…

I AM NOT GETTING THAT NEEDLE!!”

Leaves groaned, and flopped onto the floor. Being that the tournament was almost over, the ‘nome Dome was regulated to test the blood of the competitors and their Pokémon for various performance-enhancing drugs. Well, either that, or they just needed some blood for a vampire feast. Whichever worked.

“I’ll only do it…” I whimpered, rocking back and forth on the floor, “If I’m told to do so by Pee-Wee Herman…”
“…Saur…” Leaves nodded.
“Blackadder…” I continued.
“…Bulba…” he said, looking over his shoulder.
I pondered for a moment. “And Uncle Buck!” I shouted.
“Buuuuuuuulb!” Leaves groaned, and collapsed.
“So close!” Paul Reubens muttered as he walked past.
“Typical of this bloody twit to request the encouragement of a corpse…” Rowan Atkinson spat from behind him.

“So all in all, I ain’t doing it!” I sneered triumphantly, “It would take the most brilliant of methods to shatter THESE nerves of steel!”
Leaves tilted his head slightly, and stared at me.
“Yup…” I grumbled, “Nerves of steel…”
Leaves continued to stare.
I cleared my throat, and looked around the room.
Leaves continued to stare.
I whistled, twiddled my thumbs, and scratched the back of my head.
Leaves continued to stare.
“Alright!” I snapped, and walked towards the doorway, “So maybe they were nerves of aluminium…”

I took one big breath, and threw the door open.
“Stab me now, Herr schlechter Doktor Mann!!” I bellowed, in terms that sounded all too kinky. Not often I called someone a ‘gentleman man’.
“Oh yes! Yes! …Yes!” a weak, shrew-like voice responded.
I looked around to find who it belonged to, before my eyes finally fell upon a short, bald man. He looked to be at least fifty, and had a toothy grin. Well, toothless, actually. I oftentimes pondered how it was people like this became doctors…
“I’m, sort of, like, here for my needle Dr…” I paused, as I couldn’t for the life of me find his nametag.
“Shlocter.” He finished, smiling as though he found pleasure in his own name.
“Ah, nice to meet you doc.” I said politely.
“More than nice, I should think!” he gasped, “I’m a hero, you know!”
“…A superhero, perchance?” I muttered. He quickly slapped me across the face.
“No you foolish child, a war hero!” he spat.
I rubbed my cheek, annoyed. “I see. And which war would this be?”
He paused for a moment. “ALL OF THEM!” he suddenly roared.
“I see…” I frowned, “Rather than continue this conversation, could I possibly get my needle now?”
He struck me across the face again.
“Yeah, sure.” He muttered, then slapped me once again.
“What was that for?” I snapped.
“To make sure I didn’t miss the first time.” He replied, and walked over to a counter.
“Alright then, lad…” he said slowly, hunched over, “Tell me, what comes before four?”
I frowned. “Three?”
“Two, one!” he screeched, then span around, and thrusted the needle down at lightning speed.
“Ahahahahaaaa!” he cackled, twisting the medical implement about, “How do you like that, kid?”
“I don’t like it very much…” I yawned, “But I’m sure the table likes it even less. …You missed.”
“Oh damn.” He muttered, “Well, when at first you don’t succeed… I’ll just stick it where I know I won’t miss.”

Before I could question this theory, he crammed the needle into my mouth.
Tears welled in my eyes as I bit down to avoid being pierced, before he finally pressed it down.
“Huh.” I said, licking around my mouth, “Didn’t feel much. What was that?”
“A little formula called O2!” he grinned, as I walked out.
“Bulba?” Leaves shouted, and walked up to me.
“Went fine.” I said with a smile, “Got this doctor who reeeeeeeeaally seemed to know what he was doing…”
Suddenly, two burly men burst out from the room, carrying a rambling Doctor Shlocter with them.
“How was your needle, boy?” he cackled as he was dragged off, “Vairy good?”
He laughed maniacally down the hall, leaving Leaves and I to stand there.

“…Bye doc!” I shouted with a wave.

‘Anthony Chambers, your match is in seven minutes, Anthony Chambers, report to the arena NOW.’ The loud voice said once again.
“No, I don’t want to!” I whined. But the com didn’t have anything else to say. Apparently, I was just going to have to fight.
“Alrighty then…” I said confidently, and span Cubone’s Pokéball on my index finger, “Let’s fly!”
Suddenly, the ball swerved off balance, and shot off my finger, crashing through a nearby window.
“Oh jeez Cueball, you don’t have to take things so literally!” I gulped as I ran outside.
I nervously brushed off the broken glass, and picked up the ball. I released Cubone, who was unconscious and dizzy.
“Oh no!” I gasped, “I’ve knocked Cubone out!”
“Saaaaaur…” Leaves gulped.
“Strange…” I muttered, putting all my weight on one foot, “I don’t feel any more experienced… shouldn’t I have levelled up or something?”
Leaves shot an icy glare, as I returned Cubone.
“Uhh…” I whimpered, “Leaves, what’re we gonna do?”
“Saur!” Leaves shouted hopefully.
“We can’t win with a sword!” I snapped, and felt around my pocket. I slowly pulled out a new ball, and dropped it to the ground.
“Atttttuuuuuuuu!” Klepto tweeted excitedly as he was released. He flew about confidently. He looked ready for action.
“Hey, Leaves?” I said slowly, a grin spreading across my face, “What’s Klepper’s battle record?”
Leaves lifted both claws. One in a fist, one with his index claw sticking up.
“0-1?” I grinned, “Great, how can we lose?”
Leaves stared at me, uncertain what my devious plan was.
“Why, we’re going to enter Klepto in Cubone’s place!” I bubbled, “All we need is a disguise!”
I shot my hand back into my pocket, and pulled out (what else) the Weedle horn!
“Yes yes!” I cackled, and stuck the hollow horn on top of Klepto. I picked up the confused Natu, and rolled it around in the mud. Now it was brown and white. The perfect recreation of Cubone! Well, that or a mudcake. Whichever would win this battle.
“Now all we need is a secret name, so that Klepto won’t completely think he’s Cubone…” I reasoned. “Klepto…Cubone… Klepone!”
Leaves rolled his eyes, as I returned Klepone (wink, wink) to his ball.
“Let’s get battling then!” I said confidently, as I walked back inside. Just as I entered the dome, I bumped into James.
“James?” I muttered, “What’re you doing here?”
“I really don’t know… Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing anywhere in this big scary world…” James sighed, his voice trailing off.
“You came to watch my battle.” I groaned.
“Well obviously!” James snapped, “Do I seem like the kind of person who has a life?”
I groaned again as we walked into the darkened battling arena.
“Hello?” I cried, “Where is everyone?”
The lights suddenly brightened, and I found myself blinded by them.
“And so the next match in the semifinals is about to begin…” a voice boomed from nowhere. This dome seemed obsessed with booming voices. “Who will continue to the last match? And who will be conquered in a shameful defeat that will send them spiralling down the long path to failure?”
“That’d be Tony…” James chuckled to himself.
“In this corner, Terrible Tony!”
“Whoo-hoo!” I cheered, “I’m terrible!”
I paused for a moment, “Hang on, does he mean that in a good way?”
James shrugged, as the voice continued.
“And in this corner……CHASE!”
A girl sprang into view, posing as though I were supposed to be shocked.
“…Who?” James muttered.
“Beats me.” I coughed.
“What?” she snapped, “I’m the one you made the deal with, bonehead!!”
“Oh yeah, you!” I smiled, “Hi, how you doing.”
“Idiot…” Chase snarled.
“I beg to differ!” I snapped, “I can be quite clever! Look, an annoyed sigh at the dire situation…”
I sighed loudly, so that everyone could hear just how deep in thought I was. Chase looked suitably impressed, so I took in another deep breath, then let it out again. Chase lifted an eyebrow and, so not to disappoint her, I drew in another large breath. Too large, in fact. I doubled over, coughing and hacking.

“You’re quite the professional at sucking…” Chase spat, fixing her gaze toward the wall.
“Yes!” I said with a grin, “I suck!”
“Bul…” Leaves groaned, as I readied myself in battling position. I lifted the ball above my head, and took another shot at spinning it on my finger.
“Gooo…”
The ball promptly slipped, hitting me in the head.
“oowww…”
I caught it, gulped, and flicked it to the flooor.
“Go Cubone who is a Cubone and not a Natu in disguise!!” I shouted, winking madly with each syllable.
Out popped Klepone…but the Cubone disguise was nowhere to be found! The horn and the mud were completely gone!
A sweatdrop appeared on everyone’s forehead. Especially Klepone, who was sweating bullets.
“Umm…” I gulped, “Cubone, use Metronome! *gasp* Transformation! Cubone transformed into Natu!”
I frowned furiously at Klepone, “DIDN’T HE??”
“Natuuuu…” Klepone cooed nervously.
“Whatever.” Chase scoffed, “It’ll just make things easier for Ricardo!!”
The Ricardo shot out of the Pokéball. It was big, gray and lumpy.
“Ricardo?” I said with a frown, “What’s a Ricardo?”
Ricardo is…a nickname for…this Golem… you…idiot.
“That’s it!” I growled, “I’m taking away your personality!”
I flicked a switch, and the ‘dex beeped loudly.
Ricardo is…a nickname for…this Golem… you…feeble-minded person.
“That’s better.” I said triumphantly.

“Ricardo!” Chase commanded, “Start things with a quick Metronome!”
Ricardo waved his fingers, before closing his fist, then throwing a shower of coins at Klepone. Klepone cowered under his wing.
“You fiend!” I shouted, as James and Leaves began snatching up the coins.
“Klepone!” I roared, before realising that that was a secret name, “Uh, I mean Cubone…aw to hell with it, Klepone as I shall now call you, use Metronome! *cough*Psychic*cough*”

Klepone pretended to wave his wings, then shot a mental blast at the large rock.
“Ricardo!” Chase shouted, “Metronome now!”
Ricardo waved his fingers madly, before a glass wall with a brilliant blue shine appeared in front of him, blocking off the attack, and sending it back at Klepone. Klepone cawed in pain.
“Oh a wise guy, huh?” I shouted, “Klepone, do it again! Nyuk nyuk nyuk…” Klepone again launched off a Psychic blast, only to have it shot back. It smacked against Klepone at a fierce speed.
“Uhh…” I muttered, “Third time’s a charm! Try it again!”
Annoyed, Klepone launched the Psychic wave. It again bounced off, but Klepone tried something new by flying out of its range.
“Well done, Klepone!” I cried, “Well done!!”
I smiled… until I realised that the blast was now heading this way.
“Aww hölle…” I groaned.
The force sent Leaves, James and I crashing into the wall.
“What a rush!” James guffawed, before collapsing.
“Agg…” I groaned, “Klepone… use your imagination would you?”

“Now’s your chance Ricardo!” Chase squealed, “Use a Metronome to finish them off!”
Ricardo waved his fingers, then lifted his hands to the air, creating a Thunderwave that lit the room to a blinding rate.
I squinted to see the tiny bird about to be absorbed by the great big light.
“Nooo…” I whimpered, closing my eyes.

“Yes! Yes!” Chase shouted, “…Wait a minute, what the?”
I opened my eyes. It was Cubone! He was in the arena, twirling his bone on his fingers, and ready for action.
Klepone flitted away from the arena floor, and landed on my shoulder, shaking furiously.
“You did good, Klepone…” I grinned, “Uh, I mean Klepto…”
I returned Klepto to his ball, and snatched out Cubone’s walkman. I put it down, turned it up, and watched on, ready for Cubone to clean house.

Ricardo approached Cubone and…fell asleep.
“Bone?” Cubone muttered, and looked toward me.
“I dunno…” I muttered, “Perhaps he wants to take a nap before fighting?”
Suddenly a huge snore echoed through the room. I covered my ears, as Cubone gritted its teeth. It’s ear piercing! And not fun to listen to either!

“Booooone!” Cubone wails, uses Metronome, and threw its bone at Ricardo. It bounced off the rock’s head, and Ricardo woke up, throwing a nightcap and teddy bear aside.
“We’ve only begun to fight…” Chase cackled.
Cubone, however, looked to be quite tired…
“So have we, Chase. So have we…” I said, determined.
“Saurba?” Leaves grunted.
“Well, no.” I snapped, “Of course I’m not serious! I just didn’t want her to know that.”

Already Cubone was beginning to pant…

[Powarun]

Confusing at times yet entertaining. I like Kleptbone. You are quite smart for a writer about a dumb person

[Drago]

Powarun: Thanks for the thought of me being smart!! It's a first, lol. Although I always find that the hardest characteristic to portray is idiocy, I'll keep on trying.

And so the battle soon ends! Who will win? ...Well, you just might be surprised... well, maybe not. But if you do then you'll make an old man happy.

Minty Thrill
Chapter 20
The Nifty Discount Skills of a Big Scary Rock

Time to fight back.

I brushed my hair back confidently, and grinned.
“Cubone, use Metronome!” I roared.
Cubone stuck up a hand, as though summoning power from above. He threw his bone aside, closed his eyes, and shot out a massive Ice Beam to end all Ice Beams!

“Oh no!” Chase gasped, as Ricardo was knocked back by the force of the attack. Pained and furious, Ricardo slowly stood up.
“Ricardo,” Chase gulped, “Try-”
Ricardo wouldn’t listen, however! It swiped its claw madly, withdrew into its rocky hide, and rolled at top speed my way!
“Noooo!” Chase squealed, “Ricardo’s out of control!!”
I raised an eyebrow, as Cubone and Leaves watched on horrified, the giant boulder zeroing in on me.
“Seems someone needs some serious training…” I chuckled, and braced myself.
Right when Ricardo came at me, I scooped him up, and powered the rock over my head. He stopped spinning, and poked his face out, terrified.
“What goes up…” I shouted, and threw Ricardo to the ground. He landed with a massive crash, unconscious. I wiped my hands as onlookers cheered.
“Oh Tony!!” Chase cried, “I can’t believe your skill and talent! It’s just as grand as your intelligence, and only outdone by your ravishing good looks! Will you marry me?”

I laughed, and opened my mouth to answer, when all of a sudden a giant sausage crashed in from the ceiling. It snarled at me menacingly.
“Only I can subdue this monstrosity…” I said quietly.
“No, please don’t!” Chase wailed, clutching tightly to me, “I couldn’t live without you!!”
I twisted my face, which now had a moustache for… various reasons.
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” I said offhandedly.
“A dam??” James’ voice cried. I looked over to find that he was now a beaver with a set of drums. “You said the magic words!!”
I looked at Beaver James’ impressive musical posse.
It included Electabuzz John, Jumpluff Hendrix, and Chikeminem, a streetwise Chikorita with a headband.
“Chika chika Slim Shady.” It muttered.

I glanced back at the sausage, which was now the last boss from Pikmin.
“I’m a-gonna gitchooooo!” It gargled, and began eating James and the band, who were now various coloured Pikmin.
“Nooooooo!” I cried in a high, Pikmin voice, “This is some kind of NIGHTMARE!!!”

My eyes shot open. James and Leaves were looking at me frantically.
“What are you doing Tony?!!” James cried.
I looked at the arena. Cubone was getting furiously pummelled by Ricardo. …Needless to say, nobody needed to hear the details of my dream.

“Cubone!” I wailed, “Do something smart!!”
Cubone ran away from the battlefield, and cowered behind my leg.
“Not that sort of smart!!” I snapped.
I kicked him towards Ricardo, and he nervously raised his bone.
“Cubone, Metronome him so bad it makes his head spin!!” I snarled.
Cubone weakly shook his finger, and a tiny string shot out from it, landing on Ricardo’s rocky shoulder.
I watched in disbelief.
“That won’t do Cubone…” I gulped.
Determined, Cubone charged towards Ricardo, flailing his bone around like he had gone mad.
Ricardo backed up, intimidated, until Cubone tripped up in his own sticky string. He stumbled around, eventually getting wrapped up in his own warped web.
Ricardo chuckled, picked Cubone up, and began smacking him up like a hacky sack.
“Hey Tony, are you actually planning on winning this battle?” James muttered.
“Perhaps…” I gulped. “Cubone, get out of that goo!”
Spinning madly around with each hit, Cubone eventually opened his mouth, and shot out a Fire Blast that melted the string away.
“Boooooone!” he cheered proudly, until he landed back in the clutches of Ricardo.
“Oh COME ON!!” I wailed, stamping my foot.
Ricardo grabbed Cubone by the helmet, and whirled him around across his hands.
Eventually, he threw him into the ground, and stomped on him for good measure.
Cubone stood up, and swung a few determined punches, but unfortunately they were in the wrong direction. Cubone stumbled about, disoriented.
“You are a JOKE!” Chase shouted, “This is the worst battle I’ve ever fought! Just forfeit and let it go!!”
“NEVER!” I roared, and threw my coat aside. I stepped in the ring. “I’ll just fight the damn thing myself!!”
Chase’s eyes widened. “You can’t be THAT stupid. Even you should know you can’t beat a Golem! It’s just not humanly possible!”
“That doesn’t apply to me!” I hissed, determined.
“I suppose nothing to do with humans does…” she sighed, “’k. Kill yourself then. Just don’t leave a mess.”
I walked up until I was face to face with Ricardo.
I furrowed my brow, and slapped him right across his rocky face.
He threw his head to the side, then slapped me back, throwing me off balance. I tumbled headfirst into the ground.
“OWWWWW!” I wailed, “That’s not how it goes!”
Angrily, he grabbed my feet, and began to spin. Promptly, I left the floor in a mad cycle.
“This would look great in his scrapbook…” James groaned.
“Saaaaaaaurbulaba…” Leaves replied, rolling his eyes.

Ricardo finally let go, flinging me halfway across the room. I skidded to a stop, then finally kicked back up. Ricardo looked shocked.
“You think that’s enough to down me?!” I cackled, “Barely left a scratch!”
I turned away for a moment, and screamed loudly.
“Let’s go.” I coughed.
Ricardo began charging towards me, so I did the same. Well, charging towards him anyway.
We met in the middle, however he had the devious plan of lifting his arm up. I was knocked with such force that I flipped completely over his arm, and landed right in front of him, giving him the opportunity to follow up with a Headbutt into my gut. I tumbled backwards, as Ricardo stood back proudly.
“Ohhhh…..gooooood…..” I wheezed, leaving all to wonder whether I had said good or god.
It hurt to move, but I still straightened myself up.
“I’m not through yet…” I hacked, “The night is young!”
“Uh, Anthony…” James muttered, “It’s still daytime.”
“See?” I spat, “The night is so young it hasn’t even been born yet!”

Furious, Ricardo reached behind his back, and ripped off a couple of rocks.
“Foreign objects!” I gasped, “Shame on…”
I was interrupted as he threw one at my forehead.
“Ow!” I whined, “That hurt an awful lot…”
I then noticed that the other rocks in his hand were significantly bigger… So I began to run, of cawse.
Sweatdrops were abound as I dashed madly around the room squealing, as Ricardo pelted rocks at my heels.
I tripped over one, and fell to the floor. Ricardo couldn’t cease running, and his momentum sent him tripping up over me.
“Wow!” James gasped, “Well done Tony!”
“I do it for the fans.” I said, smiling weakly.

Ricardo stood up, looking at me as though I had just stolen his pic-a-nic basket.
He withdrew just like in my dream, and started to roll at a furious speed. I grinned deviously.
“Seems someone needs some serious raining…” I chuckled, then realised I had misquoted myself. “Jeez, if I make many more mistakes like this people are going to start thinking I’m stupid or something…”
I peered over at Ricardo, and prepared to pick him up when he got close enough.
Although… he did seem to be coming awfully fast… And he was leaving a ditch in his wake… And… this was going to hurt.
“Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagg!” I wailed, and leapt madly into the air like a frog that had just had its bottom lopped off.
Unfortunately, my landing was directly on top of Ricardo. I ran madly to stay on top as he rolled around.
“Goooooo!” he snarled furiously.
“Go where?” I whimpered.
I looked back, and carefully noted that we were heading towards a wall.
“Holy hats!” I bellowed, and leapt off of Ricardo as he reached the wall. To my amazement though, he continued… to go up the wall! He rolled right up to the ceiling, before finally beginning to fall back down.
“Stupendous!!” I applauded.
It was then that I discovered he was falling right towards me!
“Whaoaaaa!” I cried, and leapt out of the way right when he hit the ground. He bounced back up, and I rolled furiously out of the way. He continued bouncing, and I continued rolling.
“This…is idiotic.” Chase groaned, “Ricardo, would you please just Metronome and get it over with?”

Ricardo landed on his feet, and began to waggle his fingers.
“There’s no hope, Tony!” James cried, “If he gets in an attack, you’re through!”
“Then we won’t let him!” I gulped, and grabbed his fingers.
“Leeeeem!” he whined, and stomped in my direction to throw me off. Still, though, I held on, and did my best to push him back. From afar, it must’ve looked like some sort of wonderful dance…

“That’s it!” Chase shouted, “Ricardo, use your skills!!”
Ricardo let go, and backed away.
“Skills?” I gulped. It was no good hoping they were knitting skills or something.
Ricardo cackled, and raised his hands to the air. He strained for a moment, before they shot clean off his arms! They whizzed around in the air, then headed towards me.
“Ah. Skills.” I gulped. “Of course.”

Panic-stricken, I dashed around, trying to avoid getting caught by the disembodied hands. They were damned fast, though!
“Anyone got any ideas?” I gasped, as one of them smacked me in the head.
“Don’t get caught!” James suggested.
“Yeah, anything else?” I gulped.
“They’re catching up!” James shouted.
“Anything I DON’T KNOW?” I snapped, and leapt forward desperately. As I landed, I slipped up on the rocks Ricardo had thrown. I fell right under the hands.
They pulled a loop, and rocketed down towards me, claws outstretched.
I rolled aside, just barely dodging them as they crashed into the ground. I looked over, and gasped. They had gone so fast they lodged themselves in the ground!

“Gooool?” Ricardo gulped, and looked around desperately.
“He can’t punch… He can’t grab… He can’t Metronome…” I said with a grin.
“You sure you can beat him?” James gulped.
“Does a pig say buhi buhi?” I cackled.
“…No.” James muttered.
“Well a Japanese pig will!” I snapped, and set my sights on Ricardo. He was standing around, not knowing what to do.
I let out a mighty cry as I ran towards him. I leapt up, and dropkicked him so hard he rolled back uncontrollably.
He crashed into the wall, causing pieces to fall down. …He was out!!
“Oh my god!” I squealed, “I’m the best!! I beat The Rock!!”
“Ricardo, return…” Chase said weakly.
She stood around, before throwing down another Pokéball.
“Go Troubleclef!” She shouted, and out shot a tiny little fairy beast.
“Good going Tony!” James encouraged, “One down, two to go!”
“Aw crap, I forfeit.” I groaned, and fell to the ground, after having the hardest battle of my career. Or lack of a career, anyway.
Chase cheered, as her father Theodore walked in through the doorway.
“And so, the winner…” he said in his shaky voice, “Would be Chase!”
“Yaaaay!” Chase cried, jumping up in down.
“Yes, it WOULD be Chase…” Theodore continued, “Had she not been disqualified!”
“Whaaaaaat?” Chase snapped.
“I’m afraid you should be more aware of your surroundings, dearest.” Theodore said sadly, “Ricardo rolled up the wall during the course of your battle. He left the designated fighting zone. Since you failed to get him back in the allotted time, you officially forfeited the battle in a countout!”
“No no nooooooo!” Chase whined, “It’s not fair!!”
“So I win then?” I said hopefully.
“Thankfully not!” Theodore snapped, “You said yourself that you forfeit. The battle was over, so officially you had just forfeited out of the finals!!”
“AAAAAAAAAGGGG!” I snarled, and punched Theodore right in the face.
Chase stood there for a moment. “Thank you.” She said quietly.

Chase, James, Leaves and I stood there for a moment.
“So now what?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” she said, worried.
“The deal.” I muttered, “Neither of us won, so you don’t marry me, and I don’t become your slave.”
“Deal’s off then.” She sighed.
“…Not necessarily.” I said with a grin, “How about we combine the two!”
“After all, marriage would make Tony your slave…” James chuckled, only to get a threatening fist-shaking from Chase.
“Well, what’s less than marriage, and less than slavery, and combined?” I smiled, “Simple. You come with me on my quest!”
“Go with YOU?” Chase spat, “Never! I’m waiting for my dream man to come and whisk me away, not some clown who gets lucky!”
She turned away, snobbishly.
My eyes narrowed. I was going to use the most dreaded tricks of my trade. The technique I had learned from those before me. I was going to make her come with me… and I was going to do it with force.

I reached into her shorts, grabbed her undies and pulled.
“COME!” I roared, giving her a fierce wedgie.
“No! OW! LET GO OF MEEEEE!” She whined, as I lifted her higher and higher.
Eventually I had her standing on her toes.
“Alright, alright, alright, I’ll come with you!” she sighed, “Just let go!”

And I did (begrudgingly).
She stomped off, angrily, muttering that she was going to go pack.
“You certainly have a way with the ladies…” James muttered in disbelief.
“Wasn’t worth it though, it hurt!” I whined, “She’s heavier than she looks…”
“You know, you’re never going to win her over if you talk about her like that…” James said, concerned.
“Win her over?” I scoffed, “I only wanted to bring her so she could carry my stuff!”
I paused for a moment.
“…So where are you going to go James?” I muttered.
“I really don’t know…” he sighed, “I’ve never found any challenges around this town for my Pokémon…”
“Hm.” I chuckled, “I was starting to doubt you had Pokémon in the first place. …Well… how about you come with us? I’m sure everyone saw it coming, it was pretty obvious after all.”
“Uhh…” he muttered, “Leave my family, my friends, my home behind me? Sacrifice all I’ve ever known, most of my worldly possessions, and go on pointless quests where you get all the credit and I get attacked by all variations of nasties?”
“Either that or contend with those bikers…” I cackled.
“Oh hell no!” he gasped, “I’m in, I’m in!”

I grinned a wide, and frankly quite painful grin.
“And so, the three of us are on our way to glory!” I cheered, stepping forward. I tripped over Leaves, who looked irritated at me. Cubone leant on his bone.
“Uh…the five of us then.”
Klepto promptly flew out of his Pokéball, swept down, and snatched Cubone’s bone. Cubone chased after him furiously.
“Six of us. The six of us.”
“Hey, what about my Pokémon? And Chase’s too?” James whined.
“Uhh… three+three+three+…uhh…” I grumbled, “Oh forget it!”
I leapt back up, “The many associates are on our way to glory! The new-age heroes looking for fun and adventure!”
Everyone in the room cheered.
“…And the Bulb-is-sore!!”
Leaves fell to the floor, as everyone else looked excited.

[Mew Trainer Rose]

lol! I was expecting him to slap the Golem with his tail at some point in the battle. Or that Cubone would help out. But it's funnier that he (Cubone) didn't.

[Powarun]

Uh, what would be a good thing to say. He won and beat a Golem. SOmething that most humans could not do. THat was awsome. Dang a group of retards.

[Reptilius Pyrus]

He would go so low as to give a girl a wedgie... O_O

Well, excellent and funny as always. When's the tail gonna do something useful? Will it ever? I guess I'm just going to have to wait.

[Drago]

Mew Trainer Rose: Well, the reason I didn't include the tail in the battle was because, to be honest, I keep forgetting Tony has it! ~_~; Fortunately, though, it doesn't slip my mind in this chapter... Glad you liked the (strange) battle.
Powarun: Maybe so, but Tony got lucky. ...As usual.
Reptilius Pyrus: And yet, Tony still hasn't gone as low as he can. I'm sure I can think up something worse for him to do. Mwahaha...

And so, believe it or not, I'm introducing a plot twist to Minty Thrill! Well, the concept of MT with a plot is a twist in itself, but still. Let me know what you think.

Minty Thrill
Chapter 21
Meet Meat

5:47 AM. A female reporter and pudgy cameraman are running along a windswept hill, their clothes ripped and tattered. They look terrified, and together make quite the cliché, and perhaps the opportunity for a clever joke.

“Oh god Vern!” the reporter cried, “They’re catching up!!”
Vern puffed insanely, trying to film what was going on behind him as he ran. He was starting to fall behind.
“I just…can’t do it…” he wheezed, and collapsed to the ground, panting for breath. His partner didn’t even look back. She continued running, losing her only remaining shoe in the process.
“Waaaaait…” Vern cried weakly, lifting a hand toward his panicked co-worker.
Just then, the ground next to Vern lifted, and two gray claws shot out. Vern couldn’t even react as they grabbed him, and pulled him back down the hole, the ground dropping behind him. The camera rolled onto its side, still recording Vern’s muffled screams.
As it filmed, the reporter ran further and further away, until she stopped dead in her tracks. She threw her hands up defensively as a blue bird swooped down and snatched her up. Her screams faded as the camera’s battery ran flat, and it eventually flicked off…



Kyle
********************
I stretched lazily as I walked toward the edge of Attiles City. I decided that, maybe Chambers had gone ahead to the next route to train.
I looked down, and just stopped short of stepping on a strange orange bug. I backed up slightly, and leant down towards it. It peered up at me through its large yellow eyes, and tilted its head curiously.
“Well hello little guy…” I said quietly, and smiled.
It hunched defensively, and let out a strange, low growl.
“Hey, no need to panic.” I sighed, “I’m on my way…”

It opened its mouth wide, and leapt at me, leaving a small cut in my neck from its sharp horn.
“Ow!” I snapped, and backed away, “Damn thing! Damn! Damn!”
It reared, before again leaping at me, this time stabbing into my hand.
My eyes widened, as I grabbed my intercom.
“This is Officer Riddells requesting backup!” I stammered nervously, “Under attack by some description of Caterpie/Weedle hybrid…”
There was a garbled laughter, before I got the response, “Sure Kyle, we’ll send some help right after we fix this horrific Pidgey assault on fourth and main!”

Before I could tell them I wasn’t kidding, the creature crawled onto my foot, and started headbutting at me with all its might.
“Aaaaagg!” I wailed, before kicking it off and smacking it with my baton. It stumbled around dizzily before crawling away at top speed.
I fell back. What the hell was that thing? And why was it so aggressive?
…Somehow, someway, I had this strange feeling this had SOMETHING to do with Chambers…

Tony
********************
“Well, we’re about to head off!” I called to Daisy and Theodore, who probably should’ve been nursing his nose right now.
Leaves, Chase and James stood behind me. Chase had a strange smile on her face which I couldn’t quite figure out.
Theodore lumbered out, and wiped away a tear. “Ah, my little Chase is growing up. Going out and fighting great big beasts of destruction. Your mother and I are very proud that you’re so willing to go on such a suicidal journey. …We’re going to miss you terribly.”
“Daddy, what are you saying?” Chase said quietly.
“Goodbye, Chase.” Theodore whimpered.
“What?” Chase snapped, “What are you talking about? That wasn’t the plan! You were supposed to not let me go!!”
“I feel something’s afoul here.” James gulped, then chuckled. “I’ve always wanted to say that.”
“Chase, I’m afraid there’s been a change of plans…” Theodore sighed, “This morning your mother and I were watching the news, and as it turns out, there have been various attacks from what could be Pokémon… and many of these attacks have been around the area between here and Attiles City. It seems inevitable that they reach the ‘nome Dome. We don’t want anything to happen to you, and we feel you’d be safer with these two and their Pokémon.”
“But daddy!” Chase cried, “I’ve got my own Pokémon! I’ve got Ricardo, Troubleclef, Mercury and Mars!”
“A Golem, Cleffa, Teddiursa and Phanpy against the legions of enraged Pokémon?” Theodore scoffed, “You wouldn’t stand a chance! I may not like these two…”
“Hey, that hurts…” James whined.
“And I thought we were just starting to become good friends.” I sniffed.
“But I’m sure that their Pokémon will be more than enough protection for you!”
“Uhh…not really…” I muttered.
“And before you go,” Theodore continued, “This mobile phone was sent here for you.”
“Really?” I gasped, and took the phone, “Is it real?”
I dropped the phone to the floor and stepped on it. A few pieces broke off, and the 9 fell out.
“…Just go before I change my mind…” Theodore wheezed, and turned away. He couldn’t bear to look at his daughter for the last time.

We stepped outside, and already Chase had started whining.
“I can’t believe it!” she wailed, “They don’t care about me at all, they just want me out of there because they’re bad parents!”
“And bad dressers…” James chuckled, and received a swift punch to the gut.
“So where are we going first, crew?” I muttered loudly. It wasn’t often I had my own posse. This was my chance to paint the town red. Or, failing that, a lovely shade of turquoise.
“Well…” Chase murmured, “If I really have to go through with this stupid quest, we could visit Meat along the way. He’ll give us a ride to Kurabusu…”
I frowned. Meat was going to drive? I tried to picture being the passenger of a car driven by an oversized porkchop who was complaining about the weather.
“Who’s Meat?” I asked.
“Well, Meat’s my cousin.” Chase replied in the first calm reaction of the day, “He fancies himself as some sort of rock star. He’s a bit of a loser, but he’s nice enough. He lives in that house right over there.”
Chase pointed off in the near distance, toward a large, pub-like building that I had failed to notice on the way up.

I started towards the building, when I felt a vibrating in my pocket. I gasped, and pulled out the culprit, the newly acquired mobile phone.
“Damn.” I sighed, disappointed, “I thought my magic beans were growing…”
I nodded at the others to walk ahead, and stabbed furiously at the buttons before actually getting it to work.
“Hello, Tony Chambers, worker for a small but honest cause.” I answered for fun.
“Well Tony,” the voice on the other end responded, “That cause is about to become a lot bigger!”
“Oh, ok.” I muttered.


“…Who is this?”
“It’s Professor Gum, thicko!” Gum snapped, “And I’m afraid time for our world is running out!!”
“Then why didn’t you call earlier?” I said accusingly.
“Sorry…” he apologised, “Just came out of intensive care. After you had left that day, something hit me on the head, and I fell right into the lake! It was horror, I tell you…”
Flashback to me causing that accident, resulting in an unconscious professor and the loss of a foreign clock. Bizarre.
“Uh… good.” I muttered.
“Tony, doubtless you’ve heard of the recent Pokémon attacks…” Gum began.
“Better start doubting.” I gulped.
“It doesn’t ring a single bell?” Gum groaned.
I grinned slightly. “Like Quazimodo with acousticophobia.”

“In any event,” Gum continued, getting annoyed, “I have discovered that it is true that Pokémon are causing these calamities. However, it is not any kind of Pokémon that I have ever seen before!”
“Truly?” I responded, feigning interest.
“Yes, it seems that there are an abundance of new species of Pokémon roaming around! Scientists are arguing whether they should be called a Ruby or Sapphire species.”
“What about Emerald?” I perked up, “Ruby is soooo tacky…”
“Don’t you start too.” Gum snapped, “The point is that they’re too absorbed in this to really care about the damage that’s being done! So while Oak, Elm, Ivy and all the others were bickering, I came up with a solution!”
“Proving once and for all that you’re the superior plant species!”
Gum didn’t even bother to acknowledge my witty statement.
“You see, I’ve created a serum that reduces a Pokémon’s aggression.” He said excitedly, “Making any Pokémon who takes it mellow, and eliminating the dilemma! I’ve sent it to every single trainer I know of, and I’m nowhere near done, so I’ll have to leave you now with your mission. Tapping into Pokémon storage capabilities, I’ve managed to send a Pokémon carrying the serum to you through the phone. You have to take this serum, and inject it into any new species of Pokémon you see in your journey. It’s your job to make sure this problem doesn’t spread outside of Furudo!
Good luck to you Tony, to receive the serum, just press 9 on your phone.”
I hung up, and looked confidently at the phone. …The phone which no longer had the 9 button.
“Oh bum.” I gulped, and looked around frantically. The world was depending on me, and this mobile phone was keeping me from my duties! I pounded at the empty space, hoping that perhaps the 9 would react upon instinct.
“This can’t be good.” I whimpered, and began punching the phone. Soon, the screen was shattered, and the aerial was bent.
“It just won’t work!” I cried, then peered back at the phone. Nervously, I pressed the 8 button, hoping for a similar result.
To my amazement, it responded with ‘1 ball for Tony’.
“Great!” I cheered, and reached into the back of the phone. There was a tiny hole for receiving things…or maybe I just had a holy phone. I reached in, and clutched onto the Pokéball. After a lengthy struggle, I managed to rip the ball out, along with some various cords.

With a sigh of relief, I opened the ball. Out came a strange mammal with the serum in its mouth.
I reached for the Pokédex, and pointed it at my new Pokémon.
Mareep… it confirmed, a…very friendly Electric sheep…that conducts heavy electricity…in its wool… The females…tend to be woollier…than the males.
I looked at the picture on the ‘dex, then at the Mareep in front of me. There was a drastic difference.
“Uh, Poker…” I said, in a random attempt to give the Pokédex a name, “She hasn’t got any wool!”
And it was a weird sight indeed. Other than the small tuft on her head, Mareep didn’t have any wool, leaving me with a thin blue shivering thing.
I shrugged, and patted it on the head. To my chagrin, I was blown back by a static shock. I sat up, eyes widened.
The less wool…a Mareep has…the more powerful…the electricity…stored. The Pokédex informed.
“So what I’ve got is a Mareep with really strong hair.” I muttered, trying to comprehend the situation.

She trotted up to me, dropped the serum at my feet, and tilted her head slightly. She seemed curious, and hopefully she was going to be a lot less of a hassle to handle than my other Pokémon…
Nervously, I returned her to her ball, and ran to catch up with the others.
“Almost there.” Chase sighed. “Oh, before I forget…” She reached into her pocket, “For getting so far in the tournament, it’s custom we give you this runner-up prize.” She handed me a shiny bronze Pokéball.
“Oh great!” I bubbled.
“A level 73 Exeggcute.” She finished.
“…Oh.” I squeaked, the smile disappearing from my face.
I HATE Exeggcute! They’re so…pointless and stupid! Why bother?? I’ve got a Mareep, who needs some smelly old Exeggcute?
I crammed the ball in my pocket, hoping never to see it again.

By now we had arrived at Meat’s door, and Chase knocked loudly.
“Open up, Meat!” she shouted, “Or I’ll make short work of this door!”
Eventually, a tall guy with spiky black hair and a pierced chin appeared from inside.
“Whoa, Chase!” he said, in quite the typical surfer voice, “Didn’t think I’d see you around here in a while…”
“I’ve been trying hard not to.” She said icily, while shoving her way inside.
Meat shrugged, walked in, and closed the door.
“Well, that’s that done!” I said quickly.
“…Although perhaps we should be inside?” James muttered.
“Bulba!” Leaves snapped, rubbing his nose after having the door slammed on it.

I looked confused, or attempted to anyway, opened the door and walked inside. James and Leaves followed closely.
I looked around. There was a small stage with an abundance of seats in front of it to the right, and a doorway to a small kitchen in front of me. Not much, really.

I could hear Chase’s voice from the kitchen, already in bossy mode. I rolled my eyes, and walked in.
“So what IS it you do anyway?” Chase snapped at her cousin, “I mean, it’s not like you can make a living off a one-man rock concert.”
“Well, it’s quite the clever ruse, you see!” Meat grinned, “You see, I’m up on stage with my Pokémon, Rock and Roll, while my Haunter sends out some vibes to the audience, giving them the illusion that I’m singing with famous people. Kiss, Linkin Park, you name it. The people flood in, wanting to see their favourite stars live, and I don’t even have to split the cash.”
“I can’t believe it, that’s sick!” Chase spat, “There’s nothing you won’t do!”
“Baby, the only thing that’s too low for me is the pay!” Meat cackled, in what just may be quote of the decade.
Chase sighed, and walked over to me.
“Well, it seems that Meat can’t give us a ride until later tonight, after his ‘concert’ is over.”
“You’re welcome to watch though.” Meat said warmly, “I mean, it’s not like there’s not enough room…”
“Alrighty then!” I grinned.
James poked his head in. “And maybe I could even teach you a thing or two, young Meat!”
“Dude, I’m 37…”
“Yes, you see, I was quite the rocker in my younger days!” James beamed, proudly strutting around, “So I reckon after my great services, it’ll be you who’s in debt!”
Meat stood there blankly.
“No need to thank me!” James chuckled, “I’m willing to do anything for a friend in need!”
“How about suicide…” Chase hissed.
********************************
After a lengthy course of setting up, the stage was set.
“Alright everyone.” Meat said, a tad shakily, “Tonight Haunter’s going to try something new. You see, I haven’t been pulling in large enough crowds lately, so I’m going with bigger names. …Elton John.”
“You’re telling me you’re going to try to pull off a duet with Elton John?” Chase scoffed.
“He doesn’t even rock!” I intervened, “Everyone’s going to know it’s not him when a guitar starts blaring out of his piano!”
“Actually, that’s where Roll comes into play.” Meat said with a grin, and pointed to the small Jigglypuff who was standing in a small hole in the stage. “You see, he’s the one who provides the music. Underneath the stage is a boombox. Roll just steps on the play button, out comes the instruments.”
“Well, what about the lyrics?” Chase said, raising an eyebrow.
“Roll again.” Meat said with a flourish, “He sings in his little Jigglypuff language. However, Haunter’s illusion can also play with the audience’s understanding. Basically, Haunter makes it sound like Roll’s singing in English. Cool, huh?”
“So what does Rock do?” I said, starting to get excited.
“Well, he just…sits there, and looks mean.” Meat muttered.
He released Rock, a Geodude who… sat there. And looked mean.
“Wow, last one of those I saw in space.” I said absent-mindedly.

Suddenly, James burst in, breaking the awkward silence. He walked along confidently.
“So then!” he said with a grin, “I’m a tad rusty.” He walked towards the stage, and leant on a tall green machine. “What does this thing do?”
“…That’s a drink dispenser.” Meat said flatly.
“Groovy.” James said with a grin.
Meat looked over to Chase to see what the hell James was thinking, but she just shook her head. James hopped up onto the stage, and looked around.
“Not too bad…” he grumbled to himself, “Could use a little flashiness though. We need something to make this show really… killer!”
He ran towards the kitchen, and pulled out something truly terrifying.

“It’s a lifesize cardboard cut-out of me!” James announced.
Chase looked on shocked, as Meat rubbed his chin.
“I could use that…” he responded. “Bring it up here.”
James happily gave it to Meat, who set it onstage, towards the left. He stood back to take a look at the position, and a smile spread across his face.
James wandered around, before coming across a small silver machine.
“What’s this?”

“Oh, that’s a lifesaver.” Meat said with a laugh.
“Doesn’t look like one…” I muttered.
“Didn’t mean that literally, Ton E!” Meat rolled his eyes, “That’s a machine that makes lyrics on the spot, should something go wrong with Roll’s singing.”
Roll puffed up a tad, insulted.
“Just say a word, and it’ll give you a few good words that sound better.”
“Really?” James gasped.
Truly? The machine buzzed.
“Huh?” James grunted.
What? The machine again corrected.
“Meat, stop this nonsense!” James whimpered.
Inner muscle content, cease this jiggery-pokery!
“It’s saying too many big words!” James cried.
Don’t like big words, huh? Segregation! Quorum! Tercentenary! Antivivisectionist! Transubstantiation! Iconoclast! Iconoclast!!! ICONOCLAST!!
James backed slowly away from the machine, eyes widened. He made a mad dash for the kitchen.
Chase groaned, and buried her face in her hands. “Somehow I just know things are going to go pear-shaped…”
Then, as if on cue, James brought out his next prop, a cardboard pear with his face on it…
********************************
Finally, it was time for the concert. There were quite a few people there. Leaves, Cubone, Mareep and I sat near the back. James was backstage, so that he could ‘help out immensely’, should he need to, and Chase was in the kitchen, purely because she didn’t want to be around when things went wrong.
Meat, Rock, and the illusion of Elton John were onstage (wow, there’s something I thought I’d never say), entertaining the crowd, but Roll was nowhere to be found.
Meat looked worried, and was about to say something, when all of a sudden Roll jumped onstage. He looked a tad strange, wrapped up in a dark blue cloak, but he was there.
“That’s a relief…” I muttered, as the concert started up.

I had to admit, Meat’s set-up was a convincing one, and Roll seemed to pull off a convincing Elton John. …I wasn’t too sure about the lyrics though.

“I’m a rocket man…”
“Shut your mouth!”
“Rocket man…”
“Shut your mouth!”

For some reason, it made me think of an anti-dentist demonstration. Meanwhile, Rock sat onstage, looking mean, and doing some description of dance that looked more like he had had both feet chopped off. …Especially strange to see when he really did have no feet.
I chuckled a bit when Meat began pummelling all the cardboard cut-outs of James. Seems he had in fact made good use of them.
It was starting to tap on a bit, so I thought I’d opt to make conversation with Mareep. After all, I had to make new Pokémon feel welcome. …Well, except that stupid Exeggcute. Stupid stupid stupid.

“So Mareep,” I began, “It’s good for you to be with us. I would’ve let you meet Klepto, but he’s into thievery, and he’s not the kind of guy you’d like to mingle with. Fortunately though, we don’t have those problems with Leaves and Cubone!”
I peered over at the two. Leaves was reaching into the pocket of a woman in front of him, and Ofbone was staring at me, a piece of a rotting banana dripping from his helmet.
“Um. Yeah.” I frowned, “So what do you think?”
“Meep! Mareeeeeeeep!” Mareep replied.
“Well, it’s better than I expected…” I muttered, and looked back at the stage. For some reason, Elton John looked a bit different. …In fact, he was upside-down! Haunter must’ve stuffed up somehow… Meat threw his hands to his head, but fortunately the audience members seemed pleased with this new occurrence.
“Whoa, Elton flies!”
“And I thought only Madonna could do that…”

However, Meat still wasn’t satisfied. Although, he wasn’t looking at the Elton John illusion at all. …He was looking at Roll.
“What’s going on here?” he bellowed, “This isn’t my Jigglypuff!!”
He ripped the cloak off, and, to my shock, underneath was… A STRANGE PINK THING!! …So what if Jigglypuff was the same.
It looked around quickly, before bellowing loudly, knocking some of the chairs back.
The audience suddenly panicked, and were running for their lives.
I frantically grabbed the Pokédex, hoping for some information.
Gum’s latest statistics…identify this… as a Whismur… further information… is…unavailable.
James ran out onstage, and the Whismur looked menacingly at him. It opened its mouth wide, and ran at him. Terrified, he barrelled down the stage. Leaves couldn’t stop laughing at the absurd sight, and Cubone, who seemed to believe this was all part of the show, jumped up and down excitedly. Klepto finally escaped from the Pokéball in my pocket, and circled the room, looking for something to steal. He dizzily crashed into the air conditioner, and the room was filled with a frosty chill. The wool-less Mareep began shivering furiously. Then, as though just to mock me, Exeggcute escaped from the confines of its ball, and joined Cubone in the excited hopping. All the while Rock continued his mad dance.

“This can only be bad…” I groaned, and ran towards the stage. While in pursuit of James, Whismur looked in my direction, and roared, sending me flying backwards in a spiral into the chairs.
“Geeeaaaaag!” I wailed, “What happened?”
“You screwed up, that’s what happened.”
I looked up to see who had just spoken, and it was, quite predictably, Chase, who grabbed a Pokéball.
“Go Troubleclef!” she shouted, “Take that thing down!”
So now joining the confusion was a Cleffa trying desperately to get the Whismur to pay attention to it.
“What to do, what to do…” I muttered, “Oh yeah, the serum!!”
I pulled it out, and looked at it. I needed some sort of needle to inject it with! I felt around desperately, before landing upon the ever so trustworthy Weedle horn.
“But how am I going to reach over there without getting blown away??” I gulped, and reached through my pockets.
“…Hang on…” I reached back, and my fingers landed upon my tail.
“Jeez, I keep forgetting I have this thing…” I muttered, and poured the serum into the horn. I crammed an empty Pokéball on the end to stop it from leaking, and wrapped it up in my tail. I got up onto my knees.
“Tail, don’t fail!” I gulped, and swiped around until I hit something. I looked back over my shoulder… to see James tumble to the floor.
“…Whoa, that was pretty nice…” he babbled.
“Whoops, sorry James!” I said offhandedly, as the Whismur leapt onto his back.
“Now’s my chance, it’s distracted!” I grumbled, and swiped around in another blind rage.
Finally, I hit home, and the pink troublemaker fell to the floor.
“YES!” I cheered, and sat up, “I got it!”


“…Troubleclef!” Chase gasped, as the Cleffa stumbled around.
“Oh jeez, wrong again.” I groaned, “Forget this!”
I reached into my pocket a final time, grabbed the walkman, and pulled off the headphones. I wrapped it around the horn, swung the cord, and let ‘er rip!
It flew right towards the Whismur, whose eyes widened.

Then, just before connection, Meat fell in the way, and got hit in the back with the injection.
“Aww hölle!” I bellowed, stamping my foot on the floor.
The horn fell to the stage and Whismur curiously poked it. …Then sat down calmly.

“What a crappy ending!” I snapped, “It got itself!!”
I frowned, then looked around shiftily.
“But I could always take the credit!!”
********************************
The day was almost through, but Meat kept to his word and was ready to give us a ride to Kurabusu.
“You almost ready?” Meat asked.
“Yeah…” I sighed in response.
“What’s the matter?” he said curiously, resting an arm on his knee.
“It’s just… I worked so hard in the ‘nome Dome, fought through all those battles, and what do I get? An Exeggcute. A lousy, level 73 Exeggcute.”
“Well, what’s really wrong with it?” Meat queried.
“Well, I don’t like Exeggcutes.” I muttered.
“Maybe so, but maybe this one will be different. Maybe this is going to be the Exeggcute to turn you around, make you a believer. I think that in an ideal world, you could love something purely because of what it is.”
“…Yeah?” I sniffed.
“Exactly. And either way, there’s nothing really wrong with it. An Exeggcute is pretty strong, and at level 73 it could really turn your team around. In fact, I think this could be just what makes you a master trainer!!”
“Yeah!” I shouted proudly, “I just never gave it a chance! I’m looking forward to training my Exeggcute! …But first… Where is it?”
James then burst into the room with a frying pan. “Made dinner for before we go.”
I looked in, to see what James had made…


…And I turned pale.

[Powarun]

Well it was a pretty good chapter, no offence but I saw the execute eatery coming. A killer Whismur, that was great, love how you give pokemon killer charactristics, when might the next chapter be.

[E_Eevee]

LOL, great chapter. The tranq part was funny ^^ and Elton John hanging upside down. I liked the word translator thing. Esp. when it translates Meat. One line, or rather word, seemed out of character for Tony tho.

“Like Quazimodo with acousticophobia.”

<--I didn't even know that word ^^;;; I understand the meaning tho in context with the sentence.

[SilverMachop]

Great chapter, dude! Loved the concert gag, and I so loved it when pandimonium erupted (and as you can tell, I loved the machine that spoke better words)! Chase could use an additude adjustment (like Misty needed). Also, it's so cool that you are including Ruby/Sapphire Pokémon!

May the Force be with you!

[Reptilius Pyrus]

I was wondering when you were going to make another chappie..... Well, it was worth the wait. "Caterpie/Weedle hybrid"? Hehe.

[The Silver Storm]

Oh god this is good. I never thought I'd see the day when there was a person stupider than James of TR.

Oh by the way, I think you need to capitalize "Hölle", that way it actually means something in German. I've just happened to take a German course in school. No big deal.

[Drago]

FIXED: 26/5/04, finally fixed those godawful squares and such, and made some changes here and there... Never realised how many '...' there were in the profiles. ^^; Soon I'll add the characters from chapters 30-35.
UPDATED: 27/11/03, added characters from Chapter 25-30, and updated some others
FIXED: 18/10/03, corrected mention of Mareep being the newest Pokémon, cut eight years off Snorlax's life, lol
UPDATED: 28/7/03, added characters from Chapter 23 to 25. Updated Chase's Pokémon
FIXED: 8/7/03, fixed grammatical errors in Exeggcute, Jim, Madame Vertigo and Punchinello
UPDATED: 9/6/03, added characters from Chapter 22, as well as Tony's Exeggcute (Thanks TSS)
OH. MY. GOD. It's 11:33 now, and I just finished my 6 and a half hour escapade.

Powarun: Well, it might've been predictable, but I've just so wanted for Exeggcute to die!!
E_Eevee: lol, uh, I sort of forget typing that, but I suppose it just proves that even the stupidest of people can have at least a few smart moments? Too bad nobody in MT seems to care though...
SilverMachop: Good to know adding the R/S Pokes wasn't a bad idea. I don't know too much about 'em, but I'll try... As far as Chase's attitude goes, at least its only when she's mad. Looking back, in the first chapter she was in (#15) she was quite polite.
Reptilius Pyrus: I know, I'm a bit late on that last chapter... And, for some reason I'm not as impressed with it as usual... Can't figure out why though
The Silver Storm: *grins* Swell! Thank you very much for making Tony make sense! Needless to say, that's quite a feat.

And so, I thought I'd be quicker in posting the next chapter. I started Chapter 22: Oh CURSES!! but stopped quite quickly. Simply put, it didn't make the cut. It didn't make enough sense, even by MT's standards. About 420 words in, Tony was standing toe-to-toe with a knight in shining armour. O_o
So, I've come to the conclusion that I just can't post chapters quickly. I'm really sorry. I tried, but unfortunately I need a plentiful amount of time.

...So what was I to do? Something very stupid as it was.
I thought I'd put in a special little part that had nothing to do with the plotline; character biographies. For EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER. >.<
I ended up regretting that choice, let's hope it's not all in vain though. I've put every character in alphabetical order, as well as mentioning the chapter they were first in (although its arguable whether Gordon should go in 4 or 6).
For easy reference, their names are colour-coded. Red is for the main characters, Tony's Pokes are blue, friends are green, enemies are purple, gym leaders are orange, and the plentiful background peeps are pink. Oh, and Mr. Michaels is in sienna. Simply because he deserves his own colour.
All other trainer's Pokemon are in their profiles, to save up on time. I felt some of the profiles were a bit lousy, so I've also included Leaves' pov opinion on the character. Even though that will most likely be lousy too ^^;

Who haven't I included? People from dreams, people who were only mentioned once, and Pokemon without trainers. That simple. And so, here goes.

The 1874 Dezu Sliders ~Chapter 30
Feared bloodthirsty hockey team that haunt various houses for profit and a laugh. Perhaps the most intimidating player of the team is their famous goalie, Vason Joorhees.
Leaves Thinks... hey, we managed to take on a team of dead hockey players and win. Go us.

#19 ~Chapter 23
All campy DBZ references aside, #19 is one of the first people ever to compete in the buckle stop's unique dancing competitions, and is therefore one of their most popular. He's big and muscular, and a great dancer, but has little tolerance for those inferior to him. It's little known that he has a weak spot for posies.
Leaves Thinks... jeez, Tony beat this dude up, too. Proves that intelligence isn't needed to excel in this world, I suppose.

Agwa ~Chapter 24
Although when Agwa started off, she showed a lot of promise, this was only due to her high level and natural RS mean streak. After having the serum injected, however, she seems to have become a raving coward. She faints at the sight of anything intimidating, and, similar to Leaves, is likely to push someone else into the path of danger. Nonetheless, she should provide some quite interesting scenarios... if the others can stand her!
Leaves Thinks... bright gal, 'cept when she's spooked. Then she's about as hard to understand as Klepto...

Almost Hank ~Chapter 12
An old, bald man with glasses, who looks almost exactly like Hank. Unlike Hank, however, Almost Hank is mean and grouchy. He actually used to be a Pokémon trainer years ago, but retired before long. He captured his Snorlax two years ago, though, proving that he does still have some of his skills.
Snorlax- Although not old, like Almost Hank, Snorlax doesn't make much noise, so he seems to be quite the suitable Pokémon for the old man.
Leaves Thinks... I liked Hank better. This guy was old, mean AND bald. That's just too much to bear.

Amy ~Chapter 9
Amy and her brother Tobias can be very well described as bullies. They have no pity, and capitalize on situations even Tony would frown upon. Amy is very smart and a good trainer, but she's cold-hearted, and frankly overly cocky. She doesn't tolerate others, and is not forgiving of mistakes. She seems to stand Tobias' idiocy, but can be noticeably irritated by him at times.
Paras- Excels at battling, largely due to Amy's tactics. Not to be underestimated.
Charmander- Although it had no opportunity to fight, it goes without saying that Amy would've raised this Pokémon to the fullest of its abilities.
Leaves Thinks... absolute and utter witch!! Goddamn, if evil was in a human form, she would be its advisor, or something.

Anthony "Tony" Chambers ~Chapter 1
A bumbling teenage trainer from Burake Town, who more often than not relies on his luck to help him through. He's a mixed bag, as far as personality goes, as sometimes he can be kind and good-natured, whilst other times he can be a self-centred sneak. He's best known for his idiocy, although there are times when he will show that he can be quite intelligent, however random those spurts may be. He stands out from the crowd by his appearance alone, in full Rico uniform, the most mentioned being his shiny orange coat. If his wardrobe doesn't catch your eye, though, maybe the fact that he has a Smeargle tail will... His best friend is his Bulbasaur, Leaves, with whom he has a close bond and understanding. However, he oftentimes irritates his Pokémon companion by referring to him as a 'Bulb-is-sore'. Tony sees himself as the ideal everything, although day by day he seems to realise that perhaps he isn't all he claims to be. ...He seems to think he's much much more!
Leaves Thinks... good kid, a bit daft though. Foils my plans more often than I'd like, but that's all right, since he's more than willing to cheat. Could use a new pair of shoes, the ones he's got are painfully white...

Bernard ~Chapter 16
Got beaten up by a blind man.
Leaves Thinks... that's a pretty crappy biography, but whatever works.

Big Boris ~Chapter 30
Back in his day, Boris was notorious for cheating in Russian roulette. His life came to a messy end when he found someone who was a better cheater.
Leaves Thinks... makes me wonder how many readers are aware of the specifics of Russian roulette. My advice: Bring a towel.

Boices ~Chapter 18
An alien race who look similar to humans, but have a fiery red hue that seems to glow. Reneta and Xeneli are two lovesick Boices who happen to choose Tony and James for their grooms. Their father Donolo hates humans however. Much hilarity ensues, apparently. And there you have it. Three profiles in one. Rock on.
Geodude- Strangely, an alien Geodude looks no different from an Earth one.
Leaves Thinks... hang on, aliens? Did I miss something?

Boy ~Chapter 5
A kid who lives in Dezu City. He was the first to tell Tony about the...other...gym. Isn't that marvellous?
Leaves Thinks... who?

Bunkits ~Chapter 12
Mr., Mrs., Eleanor and Theodore Bunkit just may be the most terrifying beings ever to have been seen. They are a ghoulish family, who are very quiet and seem to glide along the floor. They never blink, never change stance, never smile. They just...stare. Mr. Bunkit is the only one ever to talk, and he has a weak voice, with a slight English accent.
HootHoot Bunkit- HootHoot is not too different from the rest of the Bunkits, and unlike most other HootHoots, its colours seem very mute and pale.
Leaves Thinks... these freaks still grace my nightmares weekly... I hate 'em. With a passion.

Carolling 'chus ~Chapter 7
Made up of twelve Pikachu, five Pichu and thirteen Raichu, the carolling 'chus aren't really villains, but are deadset obsessed with everyone hearing their rendition of Jingle Bells. They are lead by a Raichu with a translator, and its unknown who owns them, or why they carol the day away, but one thing's for sure. If they want to sing, best sit back and let them sing!
Leaves Thinks... ahh yes, another lot I'm yet to get revenge on.

Chase Ginnit ~Chapter 15
Spunky and smart, Chase is one of the people Tony forced to come with him. She's best referred to as an ice queen, and there was much rejoicing done when she was left with the obese clown, Frown. She swore vengeance on Tony and, given her power and determination, there's a big chance that said vengeance would be most unpleasant indeed.
Ricardo- Ricardo is a Golem who seems to adapt to spur of the moment things, and he loves to have fun. His special tactic is to launch his hands off his wrists, and follow them in a strange sort of lock-on tactic.
Troubleclef- A Cleffa, one of Chase's favourite Pokémon. Troubleclef can be a bit of a wuss at times, and uses various 'absurd powers' that involve a form of ESP.
Mercury- A deceptively strong Teddiursa, Mercury is something of a coward. She can still hold her own in a fight, though. She is the best friend of Mars.
Mars- Somewhat out of control and lanky, Mars is a friendly Phanpy. She excels when working with her best friend, Mercury.
Leaves Thinks... hey, I feel happy just thinking about how gone she is.

Determinator ~Chapter 25
A heat-sensing cyborg from the future, Determinator has a one-track mind, and an Austrian voice. It's debatable whether it really is a Determinator, or an actual Terminator, just with a 'de' due to its thick accent.
Leaves Thinks... notice I only seem to miss the important things? O_o

Dezu Nurse ~Chapter 4
One of the nurses from Dezu Hospital, she's friendly, and understanding. Proves to be quite useful, not only does she give Marowak a walkman, but she tells Tony that there's no such thing as a 'Jim Leader'.
Leaves Thinks... I'm a little miffed at her, actually. Would've been funny for Tony to have found out a much less convenient way...

Dezu Patient ~Chapter 4
Easily frightened man, who's terrified by Leaves' dead doctor disguise. Seems more angry than worried, though, when Leaves steals his wallet...
Leaves Thinks... stupid Simmonds. That disguise was pure gold! So close to a clean escape, only to be foiled by a doctor... am I getting slow?

Dr. Mimi Simmonds ~Chapter 4
Intolerant and impolite, Dr. Simmonds is very serious about her work... which is many things! She is not only one of Dezu City's doctors, but also gym leader Gordon's secretary, and runs Dezu City's Pokémart. She has a crush on Gordon, and he's about the only person who seems to like her. When Tony 'threatens' her with a harmless Weedle horn, Dr. Simmonds is quick to call the police, who send Kyle after him.
Leaves Thinks... bah, glad we never have to see her again. Her fault I had to wake at 6 AM...

Dr. Shlocter ~Chapter 19
Although its somehow doubtful that 'Shlocter' is his real name, he is a mental patient who gives Tony a needle. And that causes bad things to happen, surely.
Leaves Thinks... that's especially bad since I made him take the needle...

Drunken Teenager ~Chapter 12
Leaps out at Kyle, wanting to fight, but being easily dispatched of because, well, he's drunk.
Leaves Thinks... why bother listing this guy? He's so forgettable, even his mother needs reminding who he is...

Doom ~Chapter 30
Although this dead Breloom doesn't have a very original name, he has a hell of a battling spirit. The ghostly Pokémon is invulnerable to physical blows ('cept a well-timed smack with the brass knux, of course), and is just generally very creepy. Doesn't really say anything; perhaps he's mute?
Leaves Thinks... *shudder*. Simply put.

Dwayne Sparingly ~Chapter 16
A dim-witted waiter. Has many customers, but few brain cells.
Leaves Thinks... watch out, he's Canadian.

Exeggcute ~Chapter 21
At one point, Tony owned this high-levelled Exeggcute, which he won for being runner-up in the 'nome Dome. It was pretty excitable, and looked like it might make a good playmate for Marowak, but, unfortunately, it ended up in a frying pan, much to Tony's chagrin.
Leaves Thinks... Damn. I miss the little gaffer(s). More Pokémon Tony has, less work I have to do.

Father Time ~Chapter 1
Tony's most hated rival. Always seems to work in ways that do not work out for the best.
Leaves Thinks... it's sort of obvious Tony needs to get out more if this is his 'most hated rival'. O_o

Fred the Madman ~Chapter 29
He's Fred. He's a madman. Henceforth, he's Fred the Madman.
Leaves Thinks... and the profiles are becoming progressively suckier.

Frown ~Chapter 27
Perhaps it's all too fitting that the gym of Attiles City, a city filled with idiots, has the distinct characteristic of being headed by a clown. Frown the clown is fat, greedy, and admittedly frightening. His career choice definitely reflects on the gym itself, which is built more like a funhouse than a proper gym, complete with bouncy floors and the hall of mirrors. He gives Tony the Dumbuckle, a buckle in the shape of a question mark, in exchange for custody of Chase. It's doubtful that things will work out between the two, but who knows. Perhaps Frown's charm will win the reluctant prize over?
Mantine- Pretty average Mantine, though it is noteworthy that the newly evolved Marowak really cleaned it up with ease.
Rhygo- Although this intimidating Rhydon never got the chance to properly fight, it's easy to assume that it would be an absolute tank.
Machamp- Like most Machamp, Frown's Pokémon was big, tough, and scary. ...Unlike most Machamp, though, it's also a notorious transvestite.
Leaves Thinks... see? I told you I'm surrounded by fat clowns...

Fut Fatty ~Chapter 23
One of many in the legions of bizarre villains, Fut Fatty (or Fat Futty as he used to be called) is a man of the maphia with close ties with the WWE. He isn't very mobile, but considered highly dangerous. Hasn't got all that many personality traits to be spoken of, except his unfortunate ranking in the crime world. As it is, he's just a janitor for more respected men.
Four Poochyena- Each Poochyena was dangerous, but due to their RS insanity, they were quick to obey anyone once they were given their injections.
Leaves Thinks... is it just me, or is there something wrong with a man who believes that changing his name by two letters will make him famous?

George ~Chapter 24?
???

Ginnits ~Chapter 15
Chase's father Theodore is a plump, jolly man who can be a bit spiteful at times, but nonetheless tries to remain cheery. His wife Daisy is thin and bony, and seems to be quite the opposite. They're very proud of the tradition of the 'nome Dome, and its where they call home.
Leaves Thinks... the way these two were hung up on the 'nome Dome, you'd think IT was their child...

Glue Glutton ~Chapter 29
A kid who's absolutely, completely obsessed with gluesticks. He loves 'em to death.
Leaves Thinks.. and my guess is that the constant chewing on 'em will probably result in his own death.

Gordon ~Chapter 4
There was a time when Gordon was a mighty battler. He had in his possession Scizor, Nidoking and Heracross, and bucketloads of confidence. ...However, his pride got ahead of him, and the moment he got a Larvitar, he gave away his other Pokémon, and focussed his time on training his new fighter. But, after an unfortunate accident (he sat on it), he was left without a single Pokémon, leading to a most unusual battle with Tony. He holds the Mightbuckle, as well as the current title for MT's 'worst dress sense'.
Tyranitar- Giant, frightening, and intimidating. Too bad it was made out of cardboard.
Leaves Thinks... looking back, I never realised just how dumb Gordon is. I mean, he sat on his Larvitar, then attempts to scare us off with a cardboard cut-out? This guy's sharp as a wet noodle...

Hanging Harold ~Chapter 30
A wild and crazy ghost with a penchant for hanging himself. Although, he only ever managed one successful hanging...
Leaves Thinks... thinking back, that must've been a damned high ceiling, considering the amount of description Tony managed. Or perhaps Tony's just a really quick thinker? ...Ha! I made a funny.

Hank ~Chapter 8
A bald old man, Hank is a little eccentric, but likable nonetheless. His most prized possession is his rifle, although he's a very bad shot. Hank lives in a cabin between Dezu and Kurabusu City, and is referred to as an unofficial resident of both. Although when the Natu flock were causing trouble, Hank was active in attempts to eliminate them, after their mind control was revealed, he forgave them, and now keeps many of them around the cabin as messengers.
Leaves Thinks... makes nice meals. I think Marowak still has some food from back then. ...I should probably enlighten him with the 'magic of mould'...

James ~Chapter 16
Of the three travellers, James is perhaps the oddball (if there could be such a thing). At times, he's quite smart, and knows the best tactics. At other times, he's just like Tony, full of himself, stupid, and quick to get himself into trouble! Recently, he has been shrunk to be a couple inches tall. Tony promised to visit a scientist with the cure, but for now, James is going to have to settle with being a bit more funsize.
Leaves Thinks... finally I'm taller than a human being. Thank you, James.

Jeffrey ~Chapter 29
Working for Attiles City's Pokémon School, its Jeffrey's job to find kids skipping school, and send 'em right back. Admittedly not an exciting job, and perhaps truant officers have gone out of style, but he's pretty proud of his accomplishments.
Leaves Thinks... I hate rich people. And, well... I guess this mook wasn't really rich, but he was snide, so that's close enough.

Jim ~Chapter 5
Leader of the...other...gym of Dezu City. Jim has a fair few strange quirks about him, one being his fashion obsession. He's quick to give Tony a Pokédex, and his current Rico threads. Behind his tough exterior, he has a lifelong dream to be a fashion designer, which is something he would most likely be quite good at. He has followers who repeat a scattered few words that he says, which can become quite irritating.
Hitmonlee- Average Hitmonlee, although it has a few problems against Cubone. Its secret tactic is to use Mach Punch, something that a Hitmonlee obviously doesn't usually do.
Leaves Thinks... hehehe, I wonder what Jim thought of the message I left on the floor...

Katie ~Chapter 12
Waitress of Attiles City's favourite café, Nine's Dines. Like most other residents of Attiles, Katie is dumb, and sometimes thinks her name is Nancy, but she's still friendly and perky.
Tentales- Although it wasn't actually seen, it is known that Tentales is a Ninetales with, well, ten tails. Incredibly rare and valuable, obviously.
Leaves Thinks... funny how it took us fourteen chapters to find her. We're none too quick, obviously.

Klepto ~Chapter 8
Klepto was the lead bird in the flock of Natu that nearly tore apart the Kuradezu ceremonies, and it was technically him that saved the day, when he swallowed the chip that was controlling the Natu, causing them to stop. Unfortunately, this caused a severe side-effect, as Klepto is now insane and obsessed with picking things up. He tends to bring them back to Tony, which causes a lot of trouble. Klepto is very hyperactive, and hates standing still, but he's a strong and serious psychic battler and has a keen eye. He seems to have trouble gaining Tony's respect, though, and is often the fall guy for the team. It's not that Tony doesn't like him, basically, he's just too obsessive for his own good! Maybe one day Klepto will find his place on the team, and when he does, he'll be a force to be reckoned with.
Leaves Thinks... can be a tad irritating, but he means well. I just can't figure out what the hell he's on about all the time!

Krillin ~Chapter 12, but if you're like me you'll find he pops up most anywhere.
The whole reason we should read MT. There's no better character in there! All hail Lord Krillin!! Do it! RIGHT NOW!!
Leaves Thinks... O_O

Kyle Riddells ~Chapter 7
A trainee officer from Dezu City, Kyle is sent out to find 'criminal genius' Tony and put him behind bars. He's a bit obsessive about his job, but stays hopeful and vigilant that he'll become a great policeman. Unfortunately, he's very unlucky, and, instead of following Tony, always ends up a town ahead of him! Not too much has been revealed about Kyle, but one thing remains certain... he's going to come deeper into the story... and in a big way!
Kuda- Kyle's only known Pokémon, even her identity is something of a mystery.
Leaves Thinks... oh my god, we're being followed?? O_o I should prolly tell someone... Nah, forget it. I'm sure Tony can find out that he's a wanted criminal on his own. Won't that be fun?

Leaves ~Chapter 2
Tony's first ever Pokémon, Leaves is a sneaky and conniving Bulbasaur. If trouble's afoot, he's usually quick to clear the scene, as often enough he's the one who causes it! He travels on foot, rather than in a Pokéball, but not so much because he wants to, it's more likely Tony just forgot. Leaves is a fierce and tenacious battler, but unfortunately he knows little to no elemental attacks, and instead relies on physical prowess and techniques of WWE fame. However, unlike most other Pokémon, Leaves' biggest strength in battle is cheating. He often slips on a set of brass knuckles, but his most lethal tactic is done with a sub sandwich. He can chew it up, then fire sesame seeds off like an automatic gone bonkers.
Leaves Thinks... wow, who's that handsome fellow? ...Ooh, it's me!

Leonard ~Chapter 29
Conversations between Leonard and other Attiles residents aren't at all lengthy. This would be due to the fact that he's leaps and bounds smarter than anyone else. They often refer to him as Lenny, which vexes him to no end.
Leaves Thinks... he's not so bright. If he was he'd realised that I had stolen his wallet. Mwahaha.

Little Louie ~Chapter 30
A tiny fellow who used to be a flute-player for a famous orchestra. Tragically, his life was cut short when he sat in the tuba player's seat...
Leaves Thinks... oh now come on, as if that isn't hilarious?

Madame Vertigo (well, is she a friend or an enemy??) ~Chapter 10
The dark world seems to be a plaything for Madame Vertigo, a creepy old fortune-teller. She can read minds, and predict a rough impression of the future, but her past is unknown. Nobody knows when she got to Kurabusu City, even the residents seem to have forgotten. Although she helps Leaves in a serious way, its uncertain whether she really is someone to trust.
Leaves Thinks... whoa, thinking about her seems to make my mind feel fuzzy... onto the next bum, please.

Maraline ~Chapter 30
Seeming like just an innocent (if not creepy) kid, Maraline turns out to be the ghostly Underweartaker's equally dead daughter. She sends people into their dilapidated house, and they never return. Villainous, granted, but just what is the point?
Leaves Thinks... this reminds me... I'M AFRAID OF GHOSTS!! Aaaagh!!! >.<

Mareep ~Chapter 21
Although there hasn't been much exploration into Mareep's character or battling tactics, one thing is quite clear. She's ...a nudist! She only has a tuft of wool on her head, and that's it. This quirk will make her quite the welcome addition to Tony's bunch of oddballs...
Leaves Thinks... so what, I'm naked too. Give the girl a break already!

Marowak ~Chapter 3
Won from, or rather, stolen from Richard, Marowak is Tony's most overworked, enthusiastic, and happy-go-lucky Pokémon. Unlike most other of his species, Marowak is very cheery, and seems to get stuck doing the most dangerous of tasks, simply because he's been told to. His range of attacks are amazing, as they consist of physical, elemental, and even a few unusual ones that he performs with his bone. Although he is very reliable, what Marowak loves most is music. He usually battles without commands, fighting to the tune of his walkman. However, this can also be a weakness, since he seems dependant upon music, and, should he hear music unexpectedly, Marowak can't resist dancing to his heart's content.
Leaves Thinks... Marowball's a godsend, I tell you. He does most of the work, and he's still too young to argue. Not to mention he's one of the few relatively sane guys I know. Although he's become a tad scary with that evolution thing, he's still my most trusted ally (See=only).

Mayor Milne ~Chapter 4
The Mayor of Dezu City. He collects many rare Pokémon, and has a wife named Tish. Never makes an actual appearance. I was just pretty pleased with the name 'Milne', so I thought he deserved inclusion.
Leaves Thinks... *shudder* the mere mention of this guy brings back images of Tony with a sock on his head...

Meat ~Chapter 21
Chase's cousin is a kind rocker who has a thirst for life, and is very close to his Pokémon. Even though his show is a bit of a scam, he does it for the fans... presumedly.
Rock- A Geodude that does very little.
Roll- Meat's Jigglypuff, strangely enough even though it sings nobody falls asleep. Perhaps they aren't listening well enough...
Haunter- Famous for creating illusions, and getting many audience members high.
Whismur (as of yet, unnamed)- Meat's newly acquired Pokémon, at one point was a bloodthirsty killer.
Leaves Thinks... I wonder if he ever ate Tony's Exeggcute...

Medium Mike ~Chapter 30
A karate extraordinaire, Mike has always had problems with being so very medium. Therefore, he committed suicide. Simple? You bet it is.
Leaves Thinks... yet another crappy bio that makes me sad to be a part of this gig.

Mickey 'n' Joe ~Chapter 26
Mangler Mickey is large, daft, and thieving. His partner in crime, Joe, is a teddy bear. *clears throat* Using his wits (luck), Tony manages to take both criminals down before they manage to find and kidnap Tentales.
Leaves Thinks... hey, look at that. Two profiles in one. Most stupendous.

Miguel ~Chapter 18
Miguel is a large, burly biker who hates Pokémon, wusses, and especially wussy Pokémon. He leads a tough crew who are sort of stupid, but intimidating nonetheless. However, as it turns out, Miguel is terrified of blood.
Leaves Thinks... bikers, aliens and me all in one chapter. Brilliant, I especially like the me part.

Mohawk Man ~Chapter 23
Behind the counter of Kurabusu's curious 'buckle stop', this guy looks more like he belongs in a zoo than a supplier.
Leaves Thinks... his hair looked dangerous. It really did.

Moustache Man ~Chapter 11
Well, he's a man... and he has a moustache! He alerts Tony of the burning gym in Kurabusu, and, considering he sends an unknown boy into the inferno, he must be quite a fiend. Lives in the same city as a fat man (There, saved myself the effort of making a completely different profile).
Leaves Thinks... bah, not important enough to warrant thought.

Mr. Michaels ~Chapter 1
He's fat, he's a jerk, he's Mr. Michaels! The landlord of Tony's apartment, Mr. Michaels is the closest Tony has to a father figure, which is unfortunate since he's really an awful man. He loves money and himself, and is quite skilled in bowling, but that's about his only redeeming quality. He rules his building with an iron fist, and insists that the plentiful cockroaches are 'free pets'. He's also the guy Tony promised to send his spare Pokémon to, but Tony's yet to get more than six. The clock is ticking, and that clock has a bad temper...
Leaves Thinks... blech. This guy smells awful, and he reminds me of someone I used to know. And, believe me, I hated the people I used to know.

Mrs. Beldemore ~Chapter 8
Cheery plump woman, hostess of the yearly Kuradezu community service awards. Pays little attention to anything else while she's talking.
Leaves Thinks... umm...creative loss. Nice hat? That'll do.

Mrs. Veshuan ~Chapter 2
An elderly woman who lives in Mr. Michaels' apartment complex. Although she never really does anything in MT, it's clear that in the past, Tony has caused her much stress. She seems to have a frown planted permanently on her face, and has a dangerously sharp nose.
Leaves Thinks... how many old people are there, anyway??

Mrs. Wienerface ~Chapter 29
Tony's temporary teacher, Mrs. Wienerface is very self-conscious, and won't hesitate to rip someone apart. Additionally, she's daft and forgetful, just like everyone else in the city, making her considerably less dangerous.
Leaves Thinks... I'd laugh, but that'd just be unimaginative.

Nicky ~Chapter 22
Truly, if there were a gym leader that was strange, it'd be Kurabusu City's Nicky. She's cute, tough, and quick to defend her beliefs, but she's got bad taste in men. Namely, she has the hots for Tony, but, unfortunately, it never quite dawned on him just what he had. However, she's quite feared, not only due to her strength, but also the fact that she is the understudy of the villainous Witch Hellzel, making her a feared trainee witch. She's Karen's younger sister, and she is the possessor of the Yikesbuckle, a buckle shaped like the Scream mask.
Plump Purple Spiky Thing- Basic Gengar, meets an unfortunate end. Its debatable as to whether or not it had been killed.
Spookyghetti- Nicky's Tangela put up a far more fierce fight. He is a bit of a cheater, employing brass knuckles of his own, and a lovely singing voice. Ended up discussing 'supper' with a ravenous Kangaskhan...
Leaves Thinks... ahh, poor Tony. Finally, a hot chick wants him, but she happens to be a witch. With no wallet. Can't win 'em all, I guess.

'nome Dome Announcer ~Chapter 16
An over-payed announcer who loves himself more than anything else in the world. Money comes a close second.
Leaves Thinks... hang on, since when did he get a personality?

'nome Dome Contestant ~Chapter 15
A whiny nerd. Simple as that.
Abra- Probably also a whiny nerd.
Leaves Thinks... well, at least it's to the point... ^^;

Nosey Man ~Chapter 17
Interrupts Tony while he's popping a pimple, causing him to drop a staple remover down the toilet.
Leaves Thinks... and that there is proof that we are all quite insane.

Nurse Iris ~Chapter 12
An attractive nurse at Kurabusu City. She's friendly, but hates Tony. Mostly because Tony's a pig.
Chansey- It's... a Chansey. It's no different from any other Chansey! Just let it be!
Leaves Thinks... *sigh* another gal who's rejected Tony. This kid really needs new tactics...

Opponent ~Chapter 17
One of many contestants at the 'nome Dome, noticeably taller.
Snorlax- Fat and hungry... and tall!
Leaves Thinks... nice save, that tall part came out of nowhere, eh?

Paul Reubens ~Chapter 19
You know you love him. Tony does.
Leaves Thinks... Good ol' Pee-Wee comes through in a pinch.

Phil McQuarters ~Chapter 26
A man with all the style you can muster in his lanky figure. He's a fashion extraordinaire, and often enough his ambition can blind his logic. As well as his manners.
Leaves- Don't forget; Leaves was temporarily in McQuarter's possession. The tough, troublemaking Bulbasaur was bought back by Chase before long, however.
Leaves Thinks... I hate being in the possession of people. I'll be certain to correct that typo once I figure out how to hack into computers. ...Or turn the damn things on.

Pitchfork Man ~Chapter 4
One of many hostile residents of Dezu City. Has two horribly bratty children, and a bad temper. ...And a killer punch.
Leaves Thinks... yep, I remember him well. One-hit KO on poor ol' Tony. ...Hang on, how DID Tony get to the hospital afterwards?? ...I prolly should've been paying more attention, eh?

Principal Douglas ~Chapter 1
Good-natured and likable principal who tends to have very bad luck. He hates to be lied to, however, and should he ever discover that anyone's been less than truthful, he takes on a completely different persona, often referred to as 'DangerD'.
Leaves Thinks... principal? Those guys are pretty rich, right? Maybe this bozo has some fabulous moolah on him...

[b]Principal McLanty[/b ~Chapter 29
The generally jovial principal of Attiles City's Pokémon School, he has a strict yet reasonable way of running things. However, when Tony crosses him, he's quick to sic the entire school on him, showing no remorse whatsoever.
Leaves Thinks... probably killed in Marowak's explosion. What a happy end! Well, for us anyway.

Professor Gum ~Chapter 1
Burake Town's claim to fame is that it has a professor of its own. Unfortunately though, Gum isn't as well known as his cohorts. He's a tad strange, and perhaps a bit insane, but all he really wants is respect, like that which has been bestowed upon Oak, Elm, Birch, Ivy, and especially his hated rival, Professor Mug. This drives him to be the best possible, but he'd have a better chance if he could put behind his 'captain' duties.
Leaves Thinks... this guy seems all right, but he tends to worry me, what with all this mention of chaos-wreaking Pokémon. Oh well. Even if that's true, I could always switch allegiances, mwahaha...

Punchinello ~Chapter 14
Insane old scientist with a passion for creating new Pokémon attacks. Unfortunately, he isn't progressing too well, but he keeps up his spirits, and continues with his experiments. He's the guy who put the tail on Tony.
Smeargle- Hideously weak. Yes, I blatantly stole that. I'm sorry. >.<
Leaves Thinks... could've been worse. Could've put the tail on me...

Reporter ~Chapter 21
Vern's partner, who's quick to leave the chubby fellow behind.
Leaves Thinks... I'm sure her family will be thrilled to find that in the obituaries...

Reverend Areless ~Chapter 8
Quite a villainous man, really. Uses his prior experience as a scientist to make Natu attack, through a chip hidden in his toupee. Tony refers to him as 'Reverend Hairless', and confounds the rev' to no end!
Leaves Thinks... hehehe, a gift shop at a church...

Rich Uncle Rich ~Chapter 26
Quite the evil little robot mascot. It's got incomprehensible speech and sharp metallic teeth. Not recommended for play with children.
Leaves Thinks... and yet, I loved it. I'll be sure to get Tony one for his birthday.

Richard ~Chapter 3
A short lad of ten, Richard is polite and cheery, until he gets to battling, when he becomes cocky, and quite the little brat. He's not as innocent as he seems, though. He may be gullible, but he apparently has close ties with the crime syndicate WWE...
Cubone- Tough, kind, and obsessed with music. Even though Richard wins the match that decides Cubone's fate, with some fast-talking, Tony manages to claim Cubone for his own.
Leaves Thinks... well, of course he was going to be evil. His name starts with 'R', that's the evil letter, you know!

Rowan Atkinson ~Chapter 19
Tony's other hero. Tony aspires to be just like him, despite lacking any intelligence at all.
Leaves Thinks... it's Mr. Bean, for all ye of little knowledge.

Scary Hairy Police Officer ~Chapter 26
Quick to throw James in Attiles City's prison, simply because he admits to being James.
[b]Leaves Thinks...[/color] truly, that's the sort of people Attiles trusts their lives with? Nifty name, though.

Security Guard Seville ~Chapter 4
An aging man looking forward to retirement, Seville whittles the days away with his job, at the Dezu City Hotel. He has many friends around town, but also a fair few amount of enemies, with whom he's had many arguments, and even a few confrontations. He often aspires to be more than he has become, and has dreams of leaving it all behind in order to fulfil his dream as a world-renowned barber. Although he currently resides in Dezu City, Seville was actually born in nearby Kurabusu City, and abandoned at an early age. He was taken in by a Norwegian Circus Performer named Francine and her many amazing monkey performers, and although Seville loves her like a mother, he has many bad memories of the days long ago, due to being allergic to monkeys. Nowadays, Seville spends his spare time researching for a cure for allergies, or, should that fail, a way to destroy all monkeys. Whether this will drive him to a future of darkness is unknown, but those who know him best often worry...
There. Not to bad a profile for a guy who only spoke two words!!
Leaves Thinks... DragoKnight has too much spare time. ~_~

Security Guards ~Chapter 23, but MT seems to have them all over the place...
There to make things harder! Very few qualities, other than baldness, or in some cases, wearing a hat.
Leaves Thinks... and I STILL think that I look better with those shades...

Student ~Chapter 29
Covers a lot of the peeps at Attiles City's Pokémon School, as well as being an occupation. What a handy character(s).
Leaves Thinks... seems the paranoia of all this profile writing is setting in...

Suit of Armour ~Chapter 30
Presumedly possessed by some unknown force, this walking, talking suit of armour is pretty argumentive, but not quite as dangerous as one might think.
[b]Leaves Thinks...[/color] jeez, the things Tony gets up to when I'm not around...

Tall Lanky Fellow ~Chapter 24
Insane enough to jump off a cliff, one can only wonder whether it was the acquisition of Agwa which made him this way, or something far more sinister.
Skitty- The Skitty hadn't yet gotten it's moniker of Agwa, but did pack more of an attitude, due to it's being an RS Pokémon.
Leaves Thinks... hehehe, he prolly suffered a concussion afterwards...

Tina ~Chapter 12
Who seems like an innocent, anime obsessed kid turns out to be something of a criminal. Tina is a little girl who loves watching cartoons, but is always saddened by the fact that nobody seems to join her. She soon attempts to take matters into her own hands.
Leaves Thinks... ingenious plan, concocted by a little kid! Her scheme was going great... only to be foiled by Tony. Now THAT'S humiliating.

Tobias ~Chapter 9
Now, this guy is scary. He's big and he's mean, and his English leaves a lot to be desired. Tobias is, like his sister Amy, ferociously mean, but Tobias likes to make his assault direct and physical. About the only soft spot he has is for a tiny little bell that he cherishes for unknown reasons.
Machop- A speedy little Machop, with great potential. Somewhat held back by its trainer's idiocy.
Pinsir- A big, dumb bug. Unlike Machop and Kingler, Pinsir is neither smart nor talented.
Kingler- This Kingler seems to have a real bad mean streak. Although its appearance makes some laugh, its power is a different matter.
Kakuna- Only knows Harden. Harden is all it lives for. 'tis a sad life.
Leaves Thinks... overrated, really. He's strong, but when you're thick as a brick in the mud, its all a waste.

Trish ~Chapter 29
Perhaps considered dumb even by Attiles City's standards, Trish is a blonde girl who's cheery and ditzy. She has trouble remembering her name, so obviously conversations with her aren't at all lengthy.
Leaves Thinks... makes me wonder what her real name is, anyway? Although that's not quite as important as the question of what her wallet holds, obviously.

'ub'a ~Chapter 12
A frighteningly fat man, 'ub'a's proper name is a mystery, but its all he can be called, since he has trouble moving his mouth, and all of what he says is near impossible to figure out.
Wigglytuff- Fat and tattooed like its owner. For a Wigglytuff, the fat is easy to picture, but the tattoos make for a bizarre image.
Leaves Thinks... I think this guy had the hots for Tony. >: ) Oh behave!

Vern ~Chapter 21
Pudgy cameraman. Destined to die, sadly enough.
Leaves Thinks... better him than me.

Water Woman ~Chapter 26
Jolly, chubby woman with a hose and very few brain cells. Not very accurately named, incidently. She wasn't bright enough to turn the hose on.
Leaves Thinks... doncha just love Attiles City's idiocy? I know I don't...

Witch Hellzel ~Chapter 10
Looking very much like what she is, the witch Hellzel is, in the words of Rilliam, stark raving mad, and her evil intentions are...quite bizarre. However, she's easily dispatched of by Leaves, and ends up looking like Larry Hagman.
Rilliam Wegal- The clever Pidgeotto owned by Witch Hellzel. Although at first he seems an awful lot like Leaves, it soon becomes apparent that his interest lays in carrying out the witch's tasks. Ends up mutated, much to his chagrin.
Leaves Thinks... ah, poor ol' Rilly. I would've given him a second chance. So what if he stabbed me in the back, I'd've done the same.

WWE ~Chapter 13
The World Wide Evil is a crime syndicate with a history of past crimes, and furious hatred for the FBI's Yenrab division. It consists of:
Brad Lesnore- Head of many divisions, and famous for stealing sand from playgrounds. Exactly why is unknown, but its assumed its something quite villainous.
Booger Coffee- Utter idiot. Couldn't hold a candle to Book, and I'd hate to see his Spinaroonie.
Goldumb- Utter idiot. Couldn't hold a candle to Goldust, and I'd hate to see his Spinaroonie even more.
Rob Van Bleep- Has a strange thing against swearing. Owns a Raichu. Most likely called Raichu Van Darn.
Bert Mangle- Your Canadian hero. Has no medals, of course, but does have a bald Machoke.
Lawrence Stork- Would like to be cereal for a minute.
Wallace Real- Unlike Regal, is quite a wuss. Disappointing, really.
Rippi- Interview extraordinaire. Or at least she likes to think so.
Kandy- Just plain scary, you know? Assumed to own a Typhlosion... turns out to be a well-disguised Ditto.
Underweartaker- Along with his daughter Maraline and Doom the Breloom, the ghost phenom haunts people, and steals underpants. It's a living.
Vince McMahon- Head honcho of World Wide Evil. Simply because, he's very evil.
Leaves Thinks... I just know we're going to get sued for this one...

Zombies ~Chapter 14
Quite nice once you get to know them.
Leaves Thinks... just what were they so hung up about anyway?

[Powarun]

Hey that was pretty darn good. Every character, holy oranges. You did a good job what a strange way to avoid a chapter. Won't Klepto poop the chip out though, I think Leaves went to the bathroom once why can't Klepto

[Mew Trainer Rose]

But if Klepto lost the chip, his whloe quirk would be gone. and what's the fun in that?

Nice bios there. now, are you planning to update these as you continue the fic? >: )

[Drago]

Powarun: Thanks. It was... strenuous, to say the least. And as far as Klepto losing the chip goes... perhaps I'll touch on that in a future chapter...
Mew Trainer Rose: Than-hey, wait a minute... Update 'em? Noooooo!! x_x
...Well, maybe. I might update it every five chapters or something, after all, the hardest part is over, eh?

Well, I thought here I'd add in utter strangeness. (As seen in chapters 10, 13, 14, and 18...and just about every other one as well). This stuff seemed to come to me, I couldn't stop typing! However, I'm not exactly sure if it makes sense. Well, its insanity, so let me know if it works. (I'm trying to return to being a parody fic, not just a humorous trainer fic.)

Minty Thrill
Chapter 22
Oh CURSES!!

A wide grin spread across my face, as Meat’s motorbike sped on. Miraculously, all five of us fit on, although poor Leaves was left clutching onto James’ head, screaming all the way. Kurabusu was just over the last ridge, and I couldn’t contain my excitement.
“YES!” I stood up with a cheer, and a huge black bug navigated a kamikaze down my gob.
“BLEUGHAAAK!” I wheezed, turned around, and coughed it out at Leaves. He frowned for a moment, before eventually just eating it.
It still amazes me just how grotesque that Bulb-is-sore can be.

Meat slowed down, and we hopped off. A bit early in my case, and I ended up with a mouthful of dirt.
He gazed up at the sky, then looked over towards a small black tent.
“That’s the gym right there guys…” he said quietly, “But I’ve heard that some freaky stuff goes on down there…”
“Well, freaky stuff goes on up here, too.” I muttered, brushing myself off, “And it doesn’t stop me.”
He shrugged, hugged Chase goodbye, and sped off. Hehehe… shrugged, hugged.

“And here we are!” I cried, “Kurabusu City!”
I glimpsed down at Leaves, who frowned. I cleared my throat. “AGAIN!”
“Would you stop screaming for just a minute and hurry up?” Chase snapped, walking at a brisk pace, “The gym probably won’t be open for too much longer.”
I nodded as I looked up. The sun was setting off in the distance, and a few stars already dotted the sky.

I approached the flap of the tent, blowing lightly in the breeze. It did look quite foreboding.
“This looks like it could be dangerous guys…” I gulped, and looked towards the top of the tent.
I pointed frantically. “Hey, look at that!”
While James and Chase looked, I took the opportunity to shove Leaves into the tent, and there was a fading scream from within.
We stood there blankly, until we heard a thud. Then a pained moan.
“Well then, seems like a lark, doesn’t it?” I grinned, and raced in. To my shock, there was a giant hole in the floor, which I didn’t hesitate to fall down. …Inadvertently, of course.

After a lengthy spurt of plummeting, I found myself landing headfirst on the floor. I quickly shot up.
“’tis I!” I cried, “The few, the proud, the ME!”
I ignored the throbbing pain in my head, and stamped my foot impatiently, waiting for James and Chase to arrive.
“Dare ye enter?” a powerful, yet feminine voice called.
“Umm… I thought I already had…” I gulped, “Perhaps I should exit again, if it makes things easier?”
There was a pause, before someone stepped into the light of a swaying lamp.
I raised an eyebrow. She was about seventeen, tall, and had thick red lipstick on, just like every second person I meet seems to. She wore a tight black leather top and a short denim skirt. She was quite attractive, actually.
“Show yourself.” She whispered, and I was quick to oblige.
Casually, I wandered into the light, and she pulled an unusual face. It was hard to describe, really. It was a face nobody had ever done to me before. Her gaze was hazy, her lips trembled, and her eyebrows raised slowly.
“…What?” I muttered, confused. “Is there something on my face?” I smacked myself across the mouth. “Nope, nothing.”
She giggled lightly, then continued staring starry-eyed.
“What is it?” I whined, “Leaves? …What’s going on?”
Leaves raised an eyebrow. Well, actually, he doesn’t seem to have any eyebrows. So I suppose he attempted to raise an eyebrow.
“H-Hi…” she finally said, “I’m Nicky.”
“Oh, alrighty then.” I said in a polite tone, “Greetings, Nicholas!”
She giggled again in a strange way, “No… it’s short for Nichole.”
“And I’m short for storage purposes.” I shot off in what just may be my best ever quip.
Again, she giggled.
Well this is no good… Why bother if she’s going to titter at every single thing I say?

“Anyhoosers, the name’s Tony Chambers, the aim’s pretty inaccurate.” I muttered, to which she seemed impressed.
“That’s actually pretty clever…” she bubbled.
“Well, I am a very bright chap.” I said with a flourish, “I went to Harvard, you know.”
“Really?” she said in awe.
“You bet!” I grinned, “They gave me a tour and everything!”
She burst out with laughter, and I didn’t bother stopping her. Despite the fact that that was a true story.
“Although…” I muttered, “You look a little familiar. Perhaps my Bulb-is-sore has stolen your wallet in the past?”
“Oh…” she said with a blush, “I get that a lot. I’m actually the younger sister of Karen. The Dark-trainer of the Elite Four, and swimsuit model extraordinaire.”
“Ah yes…” I muttered, “Of course.”
…Karen was in the Elite Four?

All of a sudden, a door opened from the left. Nicky and I quickly looked in that direction.
“You know Anthony, there’s a back entrance…” Chase grumbled,
“No need to dive down holes y’know.” James added, then looked at Nicky. He seemed to pull the same face that she had done not too long ago.
“Excuse us…” he grunted, then pulled me off towards a corner.
“James, you’re looking hungry…” I said with a frown, “You aren’t going to eat her, are you?”
He shook his head quickly, “Tony, you’ve found da bomb!”
“Oh good.” I breathed a sigh of relief. I was worried it might’ve fall in the wrong hands after all these years stuffed in Mrs. Veshuan’s pillow.
He looked around sneakily. “Stand aside, my friend, its time for me to use my master pick-up line…”
He strutted towards Nicky, and flopped his arm onto her shoulder.
A huge grin spread across his face. “Hello sweetheart, would you like to inspect my gadget?”

Nicky didn’t even put a shocked look on her face. She instead opted to kick James across the gut, then drive her elbow into the back of his neck as he keeled over in pain.
Chase raised an eyebrow.
“Didn’t see that coming…” she muttered.
“Me neither…” James wheezed, tears in his eyes.
“So anyway, I take it you’re the gym leader.” Chase continued, “The name’s Chase Ginnit.”
“I’m Nicky.” Nicky responded, looking in Chase’s direction, but quick to look back at me.
“And these are Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber.” Chase grumbled, “So, is it a bad time to request a battle for Chambers? I mean, the kid isn’t bright, but I guess he deserves something for taking such a fall.”
“I think he deserves some respect, for one.” Nicky snapped. I gulped, and took a small step back.
“Excuse me?” Chase quickly said, and folded her arms, “I don’t see any reason he deserves my respect…”
“I suppose your respect doesn’t mean all that much anyway.” Nicky said icily. Beads of sweat developed on my forehead.
Chase shot one of her most piercing glares. “I’ll have you know, you freak, that I am a highly regarded and much celebrated champion fighter.” She paused for a moment, and cracked her knuckles, “Both with and without Pokémon.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” Nicky cried, “All I see is a pathetic little tramp!”
“Oh gentle Jesus!” I squealed, and pulled James and Leaves aside, “Now we’re doomed…”

Nicky gazed over at me.
“Oh, Tony…” she said softly, “There’s nothing to worry ab-”
She was interrupted when Chase slapped her across the face. She stood there for a moment, wiped her lip, and smiled.
“Now you’re screwed.” She said with an evil smile, “You’ve just messed with the understudy of the Witch Hellzel!”
“A witch, huh?” James leapt up, “Well, I think we can relate, because whenever I hear your voice, I melt!”
Not at all pondering about the absurd femininity of that claim, Nicky lifted her hand, and waved it in James and Chase’s direction. There were a few odd sparkles, and Nicky’s eyes flashed a pale red. A piercing light filled the room, and I covered my eyes.

After a while, it died down, as Nicky cackled loudly, not at all reminiscent of her former giggle.
I looked across the room, and was shocked/horrified/slightly turned on when I saw the result.

James… Chase… they were…
One person!

“Oh god!” he…she… heshe gasped, in a voice that made me think that perhaps I had just fallen into a very odd DBZ episode, “What the hell did you do?”
“I thought you two fools deserved each other.” Nicky said offhandedly, stretching lazily.
Before the response was heard, I cut in.
“People, person people, please… I believe we can come to an understanding here… There’s no need for confrontation…”
“What are you on about?” James and Chase cried, “Look at us!”
“Now listen… Jeice,” I sighed, tapping into my biting wit, “You were sort of asking for it…”
Heshe shot a combination of a piercing/goofy glare at me, and I looked over at Nicky.
“Please, Nicky…” I pleaded, “I don’t think I’ll get along too well with my cohorts now losing their ability of being plural. I mean, you’ve made my pals a hermaphrodite!!”
Heshe groaned, and put an annoyed look on hiser face.
“All I want is a free belt buckle, I didn’t want such a big kafuddle!”
Nicky raised an eyebrow. “Well, I suppose I’ll separate them… If they can beat me in battle!”
“Alright wench, put yer dukes up!” Jeice snarled, no doubt due to James.
“A Pokémon battle.” She snapped, then looked in my direction. “But, give me some time. Come back tomorrow.”

That was the best we could hope for. I pushed the furious Jeice out the door, and Leaves was quick to follow. Of course, he was laughing insanely on the way out.
“Don’t worry, I’ll pick up some supplies from the store.” I assured, “Leaves and I are professional cheaters, with some various knick-knacks this one will be in the bag.”
Or at least somewhere in the near vicinity of the bag…
********************************
After what could’ve been two hours, Leaves and I returned to the Pokémon Centre where Jeice was waiting. Leaves sighed, as though we had just done something completely useless.
I dropped my bag on the table, and heshe got up.
“What did you get?” heshe said anxiously.
“Alrighty then.” I grinned, “The way I saw it, Nicky’s likely to give you another curse, so I got this.”
I pulled out a long, silver shaft.
“What is it?” Jeice asked, “A curse protector?”
“Well, not as such…” I muttered, “It’s difficult to find a way to protect against these curses, so I opted to buy a curse warning system. Y’see? You press this button, and it displays a flashing message.”
I pressed a button, and several epilepsy-causing neon lights flashed.
“It’s a blindness warning! So, if you ever get cursed with blindness, this will save you!”
Jeice stood there for a moment.
“So…” heshe said slowly, “You’re saying, that if we go blind… that will tell us.”
“Yup!” I said proudly.
“With a flashing message.”
“Yup!” I repeated, “And best of all, I got it at half price! Marked down from $50!”
“So you payed $25 for that thing?” Jeice groaned.
“Well, no, it was two easy payments of $25. By half price, they meant two halves.”
Jeice shook hiser head, and looked to the floor. “What else?”
“Well, here’s a can of witchaway!” I beamed, thrusting out a spray can. I sprayed some in Jeice’s direction, and heshe took a whiff.
“Smells like pine freshener.” Heshe said, raising an eyebrow.
“Damn.” I snapped. “Well, what can you expect. I got it from a hobo in exchange for a kiss.”
Jeice widened hiser eyes. “A kiss where?”

I gulped, and looked down at Leaves, who broke a sweat. “I’d… rather not say.”
“Did you get anything that will actually help?” Jeice grumbled.
“Well, no…” I said quickly, hoping heshe wouldn’t hear me, “But I did get THIS!”
I pulled out a weird ball.
“What’s that?” Jeice sighed, uninterested.
“It’s called a ‘smoke ball’.” I muttered, “I don’t know how it works, but I was told it would help if I wanted to end a battle with ease.”
“Are you sure they said with ease?” Jeice gulped, worriedly.
“Well…” I said with a frown, “Maybe he said it with some f’s, but I can’t be sure.”


…After many hours of sitting about, weeping about the oncoming loss, and calling me a ruddy bonehead, Jeice was ready to battle Nicky. Apparently, it was also tomorrow. Time sure flies when you’re talking to a hermaphrodite.

Jeice stood in front of the looming, black tent, and took a deep breath. Leaves did the same.
Not wanting to be left out, I also took a deep breath, which ended in a very boogery sneeze.
“Aww Hölle!” I snapped, and then nodded with a grin, proud of my newfound grammatical correctness.

I took a few steps back, then leapt down the hole like Oprah on a baked ham. …Clumsily, but feverishly anxiously.

After much familiar tumbling, I fell right at the feet of Nicky. …who was all dressed up in white. She wore a veil over her face, and was holding a bouquet of flowers.
“Umm…” I muttered, “Have you just come back from a funeral?” I paused for a moment when I saw the grin on her face. “…A very happy funeral?”

Leaves and Jeice wandered in through the nearby door, and put various looks on their faces. Three consecutive ones, in Jeice’s case.
“And just what is this about?” heshe snapped.
“Well, it’s simple.” Nicky replied, “Should you win, I’ll give Tony the buckle, and remove the curse. But if I win… I’ll give Tony the buckle.”
“Huzzah!” I cheered.
“And be wed immediately!” she cried.
“Huzzah!” I cheered.

There was a pause.
“…Well?” Jeice mumbled, stamping hiser foot, “Aren’t you going to be shocked as to what she said?”
“Well, not really.” I shrugged, “It’s all smiles here.”
“And without further adieu…” Nicky seemed to slide backwards, “Let’s get this done!”
She threw down a black Pokéball, and out came a plump, purple spiky thing.
“What’s that?” I gasped.
“It’s a Gengar!” Jeice answered.
“Go!” Nicky cried, “Plump Purple Spiky Thing!”
I poked out my tongue. “See?”

“Whatever…” Jeice snapped, and held up a Pokéball, “Go! Klepto!”
“Yes!” I whooped, “Go Klep… hang on… THAT’S MY Pokémon!!”
“Well, I thought a Psychic Pokémon would come in handy.” Jeice snapped, “So get to it Natu!”

The two battlers stood facing each other. There was dead silence, and a wind seemed to come from nowhere to sweep the field.
This is so dramatic! I should make a poem about it…

I stood up, and put a hand on my chest. “And so it goes, Klepto against the purple thing…without a nose.
It fills me with fear…just standing here.
They will soon fight…it will all be all right.
This battle, quite clearly…should only come yearly…
There’s silence, then an echo…like a lizard. …Like a…” I bit my lip. “Gecko.”
Leaves shot an annoyed look at me.
“I shall rhyme no more…For I’m annoying…the Bulb-is-sore.”

Finally, Klepto and Plump Purple Spiky Thing raced at each other. Klepto took flight, and chopped through the ghost with his beak. Its eyes widened, and it felll flat on its face.
“Oh my.” I gulped, “Fat… went… SPLAT!”
“Oh my god!” Nicky squealed, “You…killed my Gengar!”
“Oh no!” Jeice gasped, ignoring the unhealthy amount of oh’s already, “I’m so sorry!!” Heshe then look angry. “Hang on… How can you kill a ghost??”
“Well look at it!” Nicky snapped, “It looks pretty dead.”
I grabbed a forked stick, and poked it. “Feels pretty dead too.”
Curiously, I crawled up, and licked one of its spikes.
“Blah. Tastes dead.”

Jeice threw down hiser arms, annoyed. Nicky had grabbed a book about ghosts, and was frantically flipping through the pages.
“Forget it!” I snapped, “I’ll just continue this myself!”
I picked up the very likely to be dead Plump Purple Spiky Thing, and wiggled it around like a plush doll.
“Grr! Grr!” I snarled, then threw it at full power in Klepto’s direction. “RAAAR!”
Klepto’s eyes widened as he was hit with the corpse, and rolled back, unconscious.
“There.” I smirked, and wiped my hands. Jeice looked angrily at me.

“…Oops.” I groaned, “Sorry Kleppers.”

Leaves rolled his eyes, and ran onto the battlefield. He looked ready to fight, or at least ready to arm wrestle.
Nicky threw down her next Pokéball. Out popped… a weird… bush?
“Yeeaaaaag!” I whimpered, “It’s spaghetti!”
“No…” Nicky said, looking mysterious, “It’s Spookyghetti…”
“It’s a Tangela, you clods.” Jeice snapped, and pointed Leaves forward, “Now go! Do what you do best!”
Leaves nodded, and charged at full speed… past Spookyghetti, and towards Nicky. He immediately started frisking her, searching for a wallet.

Jeice groaned, as a sweatdrop appeared on hiser head.
“I meant battle!!” heshe whined, and Leaves (begrudgingly) returned to the battlefield.
“Do what Tony would usually tell you to do!” Jeice commanded.
Leaves immediately began to growl. And growl. And growl. After a couple of minutes, he dug into the ground, looked around sneakily, and pulled out the brass knuckles.
“SAAAAAAAAUR!” he wailed insanely as he hopped towards Spookyghetti, waving his braced fist like a rock on a rope.
Spookyghetti seemed suitably terrified by this bizarre sight, and took off running. They started running in circles, as everyone watched on. Eventually, they were both deep within a ditch caused by their running.

“That’s it Leaves!” I cheered, “Show them just how well I trained you!”
Suddenly, Leaves was thrown out of the ditch, covered with bruises.
“Saaur…” he moaned.
“Wh-what happened?” I gasped, as Spookyghetti leapt out. On each of its vines it had brass knuckles!
It looked around at everyone, then spotted me.
“GEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!” It screeched, and barrelled towards me, flailing its vines around.
I screamed, and started running.
The Tangela seemed to be closing in, as I went through my pockets.
“Walkman?” I gulped, and threw it over my shoulder. It merely bounced off the pursuing beast.
“Tokens?” I attempted, and chucked a handful, to no avail.
I suddenly found something, and screeched to a stop.
“Mwhahaha!” I cackled insanely, “Now I’ve got it…” I pulled out a CD. “DEAN MARTIN’S GREATEST HITS!!”
Spookyghetti looked, well, spooked.
I raised the album above my head, then piffed it at Spookyghetti with all my might. It hit it square in the face, and it collapsed.
“Haha!” I cried, “They don’t call ‘em greatest HITS for nothing!”

I looked back down, and bent down to pick up the Dean Martin CD. My hand was struck though, with a vine!
I looked up, and Spookyghetti was looking furiously at me.
It snatched up the CD, and began to eat it.
“NOOOOOO!” I wailed, “You’re eating Dean Martin!”
I started running again.

“Dammitall!” I groaned, “I just made it mad!”
It opened its mouth, and out came Dean Martin’s voice.
“WHEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE, THAT’S AMORE!!”
“And musically talented!”

I went through my pockets, and found a round ball.
“That’s it!” I gasped, “I’ll catch it with a Pokéball!”
I turned around, and threw the ball at it.
…And it turned out to be the Smoke Ball.
There was an explosion of smoke, and Spookyghetti was gone!

I stood there for a moment, as everyone in the room looked at me.
“Tony…” Jeice said slowly, “Why do you always have to be the center of attention?”
“Because it’s my damn Pokémon adventure!” I snapped, “You’re just here for comic relief.”

Nicky sighed, and waved her hand at Jeice. There was a bright flash, and James and Chase were once again apart.
She looked at me, with tears in her eyes.
“We’ll…head outside.” James said quietly, and he and Chase left.
Nicky walked up to me.

“Uh…” I muttered sheepishly, “Sorry for killing all your Pokémon…”
“It’s alright…” she sighed, “Unfortunate, though. They were one day away from retirement.”
She reached under her veil, and pulled out a belt buckle. She handed it to me, and I gazed at it. It was shaped like the mask from Scream 1, 2, 3 and Scream 4: A Sore Throat.

“I better be heading off…” I muttered, “awkward as it is…”
I stepped towards the doorway.
“…Tony?” Nicky said quietly, “I want you to know… that… I love you.”

I stood there for a moment, then turned in her direction.
“Nicky…” I whispered, “I’ve…never said this before… but, in some way… through everything else, and… without any regret… at least, a little bit…

…I love me too.”

I cackled like a maniac, and barrelled out the door, Leaves laughing by my side.

Yeah, it was cruel. But it was cruel for someone else, which makes it OK.

Nobody ever forget.
I’m Tony Chambers! I travel the world, and I leave pandemonium, broken hearts, and Pokémon corpses behind me!

…Meanwhile, on the other side of the world…
Spookyghetti surveyed the strange, unnatural surroundings. He wasn’t sure how he got here, or when he got here. The Smoke Ball was sitting next to him, puffing out steam. A huge Kangaskhan walked up to him. It bent down to get face to face with him.
“…Abendessen.” It hissed.
Fortunately, Spookyghetti knew fluent German.
“Abendessen?” he muttered, “Supper?”
He looked around, “What about supper?”
Kangaskhan edged closer towards him. It pointed at him. “Abendessen.” It repeated. It was drooling at the mouth.
Spookyghetti’s eyes narrowed.

“…Aww Hölle.”

[The Silver Storm]

Hilarious. The Dean Martin singing was great. You didn't get all the characters though. You forgot to include Exeggcute. He may have been around for only one chapter but he was Tony's strongest Pokemon....

[Powarun]

Nice Chapter, a thought came to me, how would Tony react versus a legendary, like Lugia? The Heshe part was a bit confusing at first, were there bodies half and half or soemthing that i do not want to know? And Tony's pokemon kill, a dead Gengar, who would know, and did Tangela steal leaves brass knuckles?

[SilverMachop]

That chapter, although kind of mean-spirited, was great! Love the 'hiser' puns, and the 'very happy funeral' remark. Keep up the good work!

[E_Eevee]

Well, that was interesting o.O altho the Jeice thing was hilarious and the reference to DBZ ^^ I wanted to see Chase and Nikky go at each other, but wouldn't have been as funny.

[Drago]

Although I'd usually only reply when a new chapter is up, since the next one is taking (painfully) long, I thought I may as well just be polite.

The Silver Storm: Thanks for that. I missed Exeggcute because, well, after reading through the entire fic, and classifying every single character, towards the end, I wasn't paying too much attention.
Powarun: Hmm... Tony... vs. Legendary... Well, it'd probably go something like this.
Tony: What the? What description of thing is this? Is it friendly? Is it rare? Does it like buttered popcorn and moonlit strolls along the beach? *checks Pokedex* A Lugia, eh? Alrighty... Psychic...Flying... I've got the perfect solution. ...Go LEAVES!
Leaves: *eyes widen*
lol, none too original, but it did get me to thinking whether or not Tony should ever see a legendary. I mean, I'm trying to keep continuity between other trainer fics, and the Pokemon world in general, and I got to thinking, what's the likelihood that this bonehead is going to ever see a legendary? Maybe someday I'll change my mind, but for now, Tony isn't going to be bright enough to know where to look. ^^;
SilverMachop: I know, I'm wicked aren't I? *slaps wrist* On that note, I luckily left the funeral comment at just that. I was actually planning on expanding, and having Tony refer to it repeatedly throughout the battle, but decided against it. I think that Tony's best lines have been the offhanded ones, such as his referring to Leaves as a 'mouldy frog'.
E_Eevee: lol, interesting is one way of putting it. I love slipping in DBZ here and there, although next time I'll be certain to have more KRILLIN! We all need more Krillin.

Well, for the next chapter I'm planning on having another wacky top secret super sneaky mission that's caused by watching too much Beverly Hills Cop. Then again, there's never too much Beverly Hills Cop.

[Drago]

...Isn't it weird how some things turn out? Chapter 23 is finished, much quicker than it had started, but I found that there was a lackyness of wackyness. Nonetheless, I'm pleased with this chapter, despite the lack of humour. So, just a heads up, hope you'll enjoy this as much as any other chapter...

Minty Thrill
Chapter 23
Licensed to Thrill

I sneered, as the frustration began leaking out. Leaves, however, glared right back. Unfortunately, he seemed to get the wrong impression from all this constant staring. I was simply trying to comprehend one thing.

“…Why ARE you a Bulb-is-sore, anyway?” I cried.
“Bulbasaaaaaaaaaur!” he groaned.
“Well, yeah…” I whined, “Bulb-is-sore is all you can say… but can’t you just come up with something more original?”
Leaves frowned.
“Saurabul?” he gargled uncomfortably.
“Hmm…” I muttered, “Nope.”
“Bulbabul?” he attempted.
“Nuh-uh.” I sighed.
“Fushigidane?” he said with a weird look on his face.
My eyes widened. “Don’t ever do that again.” I snapped.

I turned back to James and Chase.
“Now then…” Chase muttered, “Our next stop is Attiles City… But to get there, we’ll have to trek through Mt. Madran… And that’s something we’re definitely ill-equipped for. James?” she peered over at James, “Just what supplies do we have?”
James frantically shifted through his bag.
“…Very little.” He gulped, “About the only helpful thing in here is this giant pack of potato chips.”
All of a sudden, there was a loud pop, and chips flew into James’ face.
“…Alright, now there’s nothing useful.”

Chase sighed.
“Well, we’re in luck.” She said nonchalantly, “Just towards the outskirts of Kurabusu, there’s a small complex dedicated to trainers with gym buckles. The more buckles, the more available to you, and its all free. Well, as long as you don’t overstock.”
“I take it we’ll be heading there then?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“No.” Chase snorted, “We’ll start doing backflips.”
I shrugged, and attempted a graceful moonsault from where I was standing, only to Headbutt the concrete with a sickening thud.
James, Chase and Leaves all had a look of shock on their face.
I grinned clumsily. “I learnt that one in Russia!”
********************************
Now, after a lengthy walk, or hobble in my case, we stood in front of the building in question. It was only a single floor, but it seemed to stretch on forever. Perhaps they had a lot of room but not much equipment.

I furrowed my brow, and dashed towards the two glass doors with a mighty roar.
I crashed shoulder-first, and sat on the ground for a moment, before they slid open.
Chase groaned, as James helped me up.
“Well, I thought it had tighter security…” I grumbled, disappointed.

I took a single step inside, and was amazed at what the place actually looked like. It looked more like a nightclub than a shopping centre.
The walls were black, and there were only a few windows along the hall. Painfully bright lights dotted the ceiling, and walking all around were security personnel, who reminded me of bouncers. Simply because they were all bald.
Nervously, I stepped up to a counter.
“Hi…” I muttered, “I’m Tony Chambers. I’d like a few supplies…”
The guy at the counter, who had a green Mohawk and piercings all over his face, raised a pointy eyebrow.
He gazed over his shoulder, to a blurry photo with a ‘have you seen this bonehead?’ message.
“You don’t mean Anthony Chambers, the professional thief of Dezu City, do you?” he asked suspiciously.
“No.” I muttered, “I don’t believe I do.”
He shrugged, “Well, that’s alright then. Step right on inside.”

I was about to protest, but was shoved through a doorway by Chase. My eyes widened when I saw exactly what I had suspected. …A dance floor! Neon lights shone across the room, and repetitive music with a heavy bass thumped loudly.
“What’s going on here?” I shouted over the noise, “I thought this was a Pokémart!”
“Yeah, technically…” she said, with a weird grin on her face, “But in order to get the supplies, you have to win a dancing competition.”
“Whaaaaaa?” I grunted, when I was suddenly blinded by a spotlight shone directly on me.
“And here is our latest entrant…” a voice boomed, leaving me to wonder why it was that there were so many booming voices lately, “Entrant #24601!!”
James rubbed a tear from his eye. “Go get ‘em, Jean Valjean…” he sniffed.

I was about to ask what he was on about, or perhaps what he was on, but found myself to slowly be pushed through the crowd onto a large round stage.
I landed on the risen floor clumsily, and looked around at the crowd. They had all stopped dancing, and were screaming loudly.
“I hope that’s an enthusiastic scream…” I groaned, and stood up. I ruffled in my coat, and contemplated perhaps having someone remove the burn marks from it.
“And his opponent…” the voice continued, as a mountain of a man wearing a muscle shirt and tattered jeans stomped up, “Entrant #00019!”
The crowd screamed loudly, and I couldn’t blame them. Standing across from this brute made me want to scream too.

“And…” the commentator roared, “GET DANCIN’!!”
The spotlights turned a variety of colours as #19 began dancing madly. I raised an eyebrow, and looked over at James and Chase.
“Dance, you moron!” they screeched, “You’re losing!”
“Oh…” I gulped, “Alrighty then…”
Nervously, I started doing the monkey. It was… not very impressive.
I was losing the crowd, and #19 only seemed to be getting better.
Better kick things up a notch…

I took a deep breath, and started shuffling my feet around at an impossible pace. I started throwing my fists around even faster.
“GEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAGGG!” I squealed, as I began losing control.
The spotlight seemed to have trouble following my dance as I teetered around the stage, before finally careering towards #19, and socking him in the face repeatedly.

He shook his head, dazed, before looking at me intensely.
“You’re gonna pay for that!” he snapped, and punched me square in the nose.
I slid across the floor, before rolling onto my feet.
“Alright then…” I snarled, brushing off my coat, “If that’s the way you want to play…”

I put my fists up, and hopped on the spot.
“Gotta float like a butterfly and sting like a bee!” I grunted, “Foo’ can’t hit what he can’t see!”
I raced right at him, only to be smacked aside.
Tears welled in my eyes. “And apparently, he saw me…”

He picked me up by my coat, and punched me in the gut a few times. I was then shocked when he lifted me over his shoulders by my arms, and threw me over his shoulders. I balanced on the back of his head, as he lifted me higher.
“Say…this seems familiar.” I muttered, “Isn’t this the jackknife?”
He then heaved me to the floor, and I landed on my neck.
“Yeah, that’d be it.” I wheezed.

I kicked-up, and shook my head frantically.
“That was less than polite, y’know!” I lectured, waving a finger in his face. He looked shocked, “And either way, NASH IS TRASH!!”
I leapt in his direction, and grabbed his neck with both hands while running insanely past him. He tumbled to the floor, me quite pleased with a perfectly executed Hurricane neckbreaker.
He struggled to get up, as I slapped him across the head, when all of a sudden, he punched me across the jaw.
“You suck!” he snapped, when I was suddenly hit with something. It was time to be a hero. …A FREAKING GOLD MEDALLIST!

I looked at him intensely, and ducked his next punch, and snuck up behind him. …This was it…

I leant down, and scooped him up across my shoulders. I bellowed loudly when I finally lifted him up off the floor, made a quarter-turn, and fell down. I shot up onto my feet, and glared into his eyes.
“ANGLE SLAM!!” I screeched, “Oh it’s true! It’s damn true!!”
“And there you have it!” the commentator roared, “The winner…”
I beamed proudly.
“Of the dance of the Kama Sutra!”
My grin disappeared abruptly.
“Entrant #24601!!”
I shot a fist to the air, “One day more, my peeps, one day more!!”

I bowed to the roaring crowd, and finally made my exit. James, Chase and Leaves struggled to catch up as I stepped outside, and danced about in the grass, quite pleased with myself.
“ANTHONY!” James cried, “Waaait!”
“I’m sorry my friend…” I grinned, “But its my duty to please the fans, then make my exit.”

People began pouring out, and I was about to greet them, but was shocked to find that they were all walking right past me.
“What’s going on here?” I snapped.
Chase finally ran up. “Chambers, you clown! You forgot to get the supplies!!”
I frowned, as metal doors slid down over every single entrance of the building. It was… closed!
“Aww Hölle.” I groaned, as James and Chase looked furiously at me.

“Now what?” James cried, “It’s all closed up for the week, and we can’t stay around here until then!”
“I guess we have to head off…” Chase moaned, when all of a sudden, there was a thump against one of the windows.
Curiously, we walked towards it. There was a crash, and the metal cover flicked open. It was Leaves!
“Leaves!” I gasped, stating the obvious, “You were hiding in there? You cheeky blighter…”
“This complicates matters…” James gulped, “Now we have a broken window with your Pokémon’s fingerprints all over the place!”
I frowned, and looked at Leaves’ claw. “Odd.” I muttered, “I didn’t think he had fingers to make prints with…”
I looked over at James and Chase, who had worried expressions on their faces.
“Well, if we’re going to get caught, we’re going to get caught trying!” I climbed through the window, “I’m grabbing those supplies!”
James ran up. “But they’d all be in the storage room by now, and I doubt it’d be easy to get there…”
I grinned sneakily. “Whoever said I wanted things to be easy?”

I shut the metal covering, and looked around. It was still even darker, although the lights were still on, so Leaves and I couldn’t risk just standing out here in the open.

I nodded at him, and we ducked behind one of the counters.
“Alright, here’s the plan…” I whispered, “If we split up, there’s less of a chance of both of us getting caught. And, we should stick to the shadows, and try to blend in. Those security personnel are doubtlessly still wandering about, so try your best to not get…”
I gazed up, and there were two security guards looking right at us.
“Caught.” I gulped, “Don’t get caught. …Like we just did.”
They reached down at us, when all of a sudden Leaves leaped up at them, and downed them both with a single quick hit with the brass knux.
“Good job Leaves!” I gulped with mixed emotions, “You saved us, but… now we’re in even more trouble should we get caught…” I shrugged, “Oh well. Water under the bridge.”

I grinned to myself for using such a clever quote, and looked down at the guards. They didn’t look like they were getting up any time soon.
I peered around, and started taking their clothes.
Leaves looked at me wide-eyed.
“So that we’ll blend in…” I snapped at him, “Honest.”

Soon, I was dressed up in security garb, and Leaves was quite pleased with the shades he had now claimed.

I looked around, and pointed towards the ceiling. There was an air duct within reach.
“That’d be the best way of getting around.” I informed, “I’m certain of it.”

I lifted Leaves up, and he had no trouble removing the cover. He crawled in, and I took a better look at the duct. It was quite small, actually…
Nervously, I leapt headfirst in after him, and got stuck at my shoulders.
“Oh crap!!” I whimpered, “I’m stuck!!”
I flailed around insanely, trying to pull myself out. Unfortunately Leaves could do nothing now. He was too far ahead to understand what I was screaming about.

I popped out, and landed clumsily on the floor.
“Guess I’ll have to take the less stealthy route…” I groaned, and went through my pockets for a PP7.
No luck, however. It’s times like this I wished I knew where to even get a PP7. …Maybe they sold ‘em here somewhere…

I looked around, and decided to head right. Before I could get far, though, I bumped into another security guard.
I tried to look inconspicuous, but that was a tad tricky when I had two unconscious men stripped to their underwear behind me. Not only was my cover blown, but this guy could now accuse me of some rather bad things…
“What the hell’s-” he started, when out of desperation I chopped at his neck. Luckily it worked flawlessly, and he fell to the floor, unconscious.
“That was lucky…” I breathed a sigh of relief.
“What was all that noise?” a voice came from around the corner, and another bald guard poked his head around.
Panicking, I and gave him a swift chop as well. He fell with a thud.

I gulped. This wasn’t good. I was making quite the collection of unconscious guards, and I wasn’t doing any great shakes for stealth.
I thought my solution through, and eventually propped the four of them against the wall.
Another security guard wandered up, and opened his mouth, but I quickly shushed him.
“Slumber party.” I explained, and he shrugged and walked away.

Make haste, not waste… I quickly dashed down the hallway, trying my best to at least look secret-agent-like.
For some reason, the tunes of Beverly Hills Cop and Goldfinger both ringed through my head, blending into a quite disturbing musical piece.

I eventually came to a door, which seemed right. I grabbed the handle, and threw it open.
Inside, a guard sitting on the toilet looked at me, shocked.
“I… just wanted to make sure you hadn’t fallen in.” I muttered, and continued running.
I leapt behind a nearby counter, and held my head in my hands. This was a lot harder than I had imagined!

I popped up, and was face-to-face with yet another nameless security guard.
“Hello…” I muttered.
He grunted in response.
“Urr…” I said quietly, “Where’s the, umm… storage room?”
He pointed to a door at the end of the hallway, “Didn’t you know?”
“Not exactly…” I shrugged.
“lol,” he cackled, walking away. “n00b. 0wnage. I roXor. kthnxbye.”

I frowned, disillusioned, and wandered in the direction of the door.
I stepped inside, to an unlit room. I took a few more steps, when the door shut behind me, and a light flicked on. I strained under the new light, and was face to face with a fat man in a chair.
“Come in, Mr. Chambers…” he said in a wheezy voice.
I looked back, confused. “But I already am in…”
“I imagine you think you’re pretty smart…” he said confidently, “Thought you could wander around and steal things, huh?”
He waved his hand towards a pile of boxes. “Well, there it is. Take it…if you can.”
I wandered over, and snatched out a bottle of Potion.
“Hm.” He frowned, “That was easier than I had hoped…”
He leant back, “Fancy yourself something of a gambler, Mr. Chambers?”
“Well, I play a few rounds of Russian roulette at times.” I grinned, “I don’t win all that much, but it’s all in good fun.”
His eyes widened. “You mock me, do you not?”
“I dunno.” I shrugged, “You tell me.”
He grinned, “Y’know, I like you, kid… I think you’ve got potential. …How would you like to work for me, Fat Futty?”
“Fat Fatty?” I muttered, and he looked at me angrily.
“No, Fat Futty! I’m not a fatty!”
“But you just called yourself a fatty within your own name…”
“No, I called myself fat, not a fatty. You see, there’s a difference.”
“Do tell.”
“Well, besides the extra money I would have to invest on personalized license plates to fit in an extra ‘ty’, there’s also the issue of being both fat and a fatty.”
“But that only depends on how you pronounce the fat itself.”
“Are you suggesting I call myself Fut Fatty?”
“It could turn things around for you.”
“Very well then!” he grumbled, leaning back, “Fut Fatty it is…”
He raised a clenched fist, “So the offer still stands. Work for me, and be a part of the greatest underground organization known to man…”
“What’s that? My Little Pony Incorporated?”
Fut Fatty cackled wickedly, “No boy, the WWE!”
My face suddenly contorted to a less than enthusiastic look.
“…World…Wide…Evil?”
Fut Fatty waved a ringed hand, and four Pokéballs fell to the floor. “Don’t think that I don’t know who you are, kid!” Fut Fatty said malevolently, “I may not be a part of the inner circle, but I got connections coming out the wazoo! And silencing you…would make me a very rich man…”
“But you are a rich man! I mean, look at you! You’re high in the ranks!”
“I’m afraid not…” Fut Fatty grumbled, “I’m actually one of the janitors around headquarters… But nonetheless! That’ll soon end!!”
I looked at the four Pokémon he had released. It was a crew of… small… wolfy… things.
I grabbed the ‘dex.
Tell me…Tony… it seemed to say almost angrily, Why…are you waking…me up…at this…hour?
“But…but Pokédex!” I whined, “I’m in danger!”
And I’m in bad repair… it retorted, They’re Poochyena, an RS…beast. Figure the rest out…for yourself.
“Brilliant.” I groaned, and sent out all my Pokémon.
“Cubone, Klepto, Mareep! Go!” I roared.
Cubone and Mareep stood at the ready, but Klepto flew directly over to the boxes of supplies.
I groaned as he pulled out a pink ribbon, and dropped it at Mareep’s feet.
“Meep?” she said confused, then smiled.
Klepto began to blush.

“Oh cripes…” I groaned, and then looked ahead at the approaching Poochyena.
“Point is, we’re outnumbered by one… We’re going to need a miracle to survive this…”
Cubone looked at me, then stared ahead, determined.
I was suddenly blinded by a bright light. I looked down. Cubone was… glowing! He turned white, and slowly started to grow.
“Oh stop that!” I snapped, “This is no time to show off!”
At that, the light died down, and Cubone looked at me annoyed.
“Booooooooooone…” he snarled.

“I’m afraid I’m a tad squeamish, Mr. Chambers…” Fut Fatty gargled, and waddled towards the backroom, “And I don’t please in getting blood on my new suit. So I’ll just let my new Pokémon take care of you as they see fit… Good night, Mr. Chambers.”

I stepped back, slowly, as the Poochyena closed in on us.
“This isn’t gonna be good!” I whimpered.
Then, as if on cue, Leaves shot out of the air duct and fell to the floor.
“SAAURBA!” he hacked, coughing out dust.
My eyes widened at this new opportunity.
“Guys, hold ‘em off, I’m going after Fatty!” I commanded, and my crew quickly leapt at the oncomers.

With them occupied, I ran into the room Fut Fatty had just entered.
I looked around, when I was suddenly slammed against the wall.
“You think I can’t fight for myself?” he wailed, “Huh??”
He pinned me against the wall, and I couldn’t break free of his grip.
“Your pathetic Pokémon won’t last long against my rabid wolves…” he cackled, “So I’ll just wait here for them to finish, then they can contend with you while I make my escape!”

Rabid?? I suddenly came upon a realisation. This isn’t good!
“I’ve got it!” I cried, “Gum’s serum! I’ll mellow ‘em out!”
“Good plan.” Fut Fatty muttered, “If you hadn’t just told me.”
“Aww Hölle!” I cried, “That’s not fair! You’re nothing but a big fat cheater!”
He glared at me angrily.
“Excuse me.” I gulped, “A big fut cheater!!”
“And what are you going to do about it?” he sneered.

I pondered for a moment.
“…Be an even futter cheater than you!!”
Immediately, I whacked him in the crotch with my tail, and his grip loosened. I kicked him aside, and he squirmed on the floor.
I dashed back into the other room, where my Pokémon were starting to weaken.

I thought for a brief moment, then poured some serum into the Weedle horn. I put my mouth on the pointy end, and blew upwards, spraying the serum around like a fountain. It entered the Pokémon through their wounds, and the fighting suddenly stopped.
“YES!” I cheered, “I did it!!”
I then noticed that my Pokémon were now dazed as well as the Poochyena.
“I did it… a tad too well…”
I shrugged it off, and returned my Pokémon to their balls.
“Poochyena!” I roared, and the four Pokémon looked at me attentively, “Surround the fat, ugly guy!”
They nodded, and circled around me.

I fell to the floor, and pointed through the doorway at Fut Fatty. “That one!!”
They obediently began circling around Fut Fatty, snarling.
“I’m sure the proper authorities will be thrilled to know about Fatty’s connections with the WWE…” I grinned at Leaves, who looked at me smiling, and stumbled around.
He crashed onto my feet.
“Uh, yeah Leaves…” I frowned, “I love you too.”
********************************
Leaves, James, Chase and I stood a safe distance away from the building in the shadows, where Fut Fatty was being taken away, the Poochyena still standing around him.
I looked over at James and Chase, who weren’t smiling like I was.
“So it all worked out fine.” I sighed happily, “I told the Poochyena to circle Fatty.”
“Uh-huh.” Chase and James replied.
“I made an anonymous call to the police.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And I got out of there, so now it was just a case of them taking him away.”
“Uh-huh.”
“So everything’s okey-dokey.”
“Uh-uh.”
“What?” I grunted, “What’s wrong?”
“You did all that…” Chase said slowly, “AND YOU STILL DIDN’T GET ANY SUPPLIES!”

I stood there silently for a brief moment, after the horrid truth sunk in.
“AWW HöLLE!”

[Powarun]

Nice chapter, own personal likeness, Cubone told not to elvolve. surprised Leaves didn't steal wallets, yet stole sunglasses, the interent slang gaurd, and Tony forgetting supplies.:Bulb is sore8)
Tony That gaurd and cubone
How many chapters have you writter??????