Amber Reflections (Short story)

[Damian Silverblade]

Amber Reflections

A monologue from Ai/Amber's (from the Origins of Mewtwo) point of view.

---

I hear your tears, daddy.

They're dripping down your cheeks, falling on the floor. You're looking at me, I know. You can't tell that I know – you think I can't realize it. Everyone do. Everyone think that if you look at me, I won't be aware of it.

Then again, that's not really surprising, isn't it? I mean, you all think there's nothing left of me. Just a stupid body in a box you are all crying over.

You are all so blind. I'm still there, you know. I'm there, and I watch. I know what you are all doing. Mom has been crying, and crying, and crying. And are you there to take care of her? No, you aren't. You're drowning yourself in your own sorrow instead of protecting her, like you swore you'd always do.

You aren't taking care of her, because you are too busy trying to replace me.

You're insane, you know, dad. Your daughter is dead, whether you like it or not. Even if you create a new girl that's just like me, she won't be me.

She won't ever be me, because I'm still here. She can't be me, because I am me, and I am here. You are just wasting your time.

You curl up on the floor. It's not working, but you don't plan to give up on this. Your pet project. You can't deal with me being dead. You want me, alive. You want me, with you. But you don't realize I really am still here.

You know dad, most girls would really like to have a father who loved them so much as you loved me.

But at least, most girls get noticed by their father. Oh, sure. Say you aren't noticing me because I'm not here. Because I'm dead.

Without all your science, maybe you'd be able to see me. Maybe I could ease your pain. Maybe, if you didn't think so much about what you have seen proven, and thought more about what your heart tell you, maybe if you did so we could still be together.

Mother left, you know? She told you. But I don't think you heard her. You were too busy trying to create a new me. Another me, when you won't even pay attention to the me that's still there.

It's so…sad, really.

I see you smile. It has been a long time, dad.

So you are on the verge of success. Your new creation, everything seems to be working so well…

And your new daughter is about to be finished, too. So…strange. I feel her coming into being. I feel me coming into being. You think your dream is about to be fulfilled, don't you daddy?

I'm afraid not. I really wish it could be otherwise.

Don't mistake me daddy. I don't hate you. I'm not doing this for hate.

I'm not doing this because I want to hurt you. I'm not even choosing to do it. You just didn't realize there's more to a human than genetics. You wanted a perfect copy of me – in body as well as soul.

Did you even stop to realize that a soul that's a perfect copy of my soul would be the soul of a dead person?

Your new me is dead before she even come to life, daddy. Because she's just like me in soul. And my soul is a dead soul, free of body.

Don't cry, dad.

She's in a place where there's no pain, no hunger, no cold. She won't suffer now. She's in a place where there's only regret and waiting.

At least now we can wait together.

[mr_pikachu]

Hmm. I like the use of that fairly unexplored part in Origin of Mewtwo. Creative, especially with the somewhat religious tone in there. That seemed to be all about genetics, but you made it even bigger than that. Nice. Good job in establishing Amber's point of view, and her clear emotions about her father creating her "replacement". It's also interesting how you sped up the timeline, so that it's as if everything is a blur passing by at incredible speed, rather than Amber viewing things at the same rate we all experience the world. Sort of takes another look at the timeline of the afterlife and the "How long is forever?" question involved there.

However, I did notice some problems with grammar. There were many occasions where plurals were not used, even though they were necessary. I also saw a few problems with the forms of words, like "do" instead of "does" in the sentence "Everyone do." There were a few other things scattered about, but those were the major ones.

Still, this is good. Grammar is something that can be easily corrected, while a poor concept is not. The idea behind this is creative and one of the few things I've seen pertaining to the anime that hasn't been done to my knowledge. (It's probably been examined somewhere, but the point is that it's rare.) Plus, Amber's thoughts are very believable, which is a very good thing in a monologue, for obvious reasons. Overall, nicely done. Just work on that grammar.


EDIT: Changed a couple of things I mentioned upon further reflection.

[PancaKe]

Well I have to say I enjoyed that. It was pretty cool. Love the way she observes everything, theres just something so ... so intreguing about present tense works that makes me hooked. Very cool. Must say, I love the emotion that she can see, and the way she thinks. It's as if we're in her shoes, seeing things from her eyes, and thats pretty cool we can feel that way, becuz thats the way you intended it (right?)

^.^ anyway nice stuff.

bai

[Damian Silverblade]

Thanks for the replies both of you.

MDD (sorry, but calling you pancake feel too awkward :-D) - yeah, that's pretty much what I intended here - to get deep in her thought, essentialy to allow people to see things her way.

If I were to rewrite it now (it's actually pretty old) I'd probably weave in the various stages of acceptance (denial, bargaining, anger, etc).

Mr Pikachu - thanks for the pointer. I always get caught on that, and though I tend to blame my not-being-a-native-english-speaker, the truth is, I'm just as atrocious with grammar and spelling in my own language ^^;

[Suite Madame Blue]

Amber's so bitter here. I can see how you might want to include the other steps to acceptance, otherwise she's stagnant as time goes on. Then again, if she hasn't moved on, she might take longer to move through the process. I know, I'm on the fence here. Anyway, nice short from you. Good to see you back.

[Damian Silverblade]

Actually, she goes from bitter (early) to a more sorrowful take on things toward the end - she really regret seeing her father fall away and put all his hope into unreachable dreams, by the end).

(oh, and the TGE I'm presently posting is a rewrite of the original, with quite a few changes to it (well, not right now because there's only one chapter up, but more as time go up), in case that interests you ^^;