Your guide looks pretty good to me. The few things that could use rewording have been pointed out. For Defense EVs in FR/LG, Victory Road (especially the 1st and 3rd floors) works pretty good, with wild Geodude, Onix, Marowak, and in Leaf Green version, Sandslash.

For HP EVs in FR/LG, surfing on the water by the Ruin Valley will work very well, with 100% appearance rates for Wooper in Fire Red, and 100% appearance rates for Marill in Leaf Green.