Epic (A not so heroic story... :P With Hummingbirds!!!)

[Shadowed Mewtwo]

(Well, actually just one hummingbird)
Another English Project! Yay?

This time we have to do an epic... And I'm being the very opposite of silly with this(*sister snorts with laughter*). Uh... yeah. ^^;; So, with the urging of my sister BlackMew, I'm posting my epic, called, Epic! It'll come in three parts, so enjoy.

~*~Epic~*~

I am not anybody special,
or gifted, or unique,
so I can’t understand how
I’m the main character
of this epic, for they are
usually written for heroes.
I am no hero.

My story is an odd one,
not so wonderful as others’,
and just a bit odd for even my tastes,
but all the same, it is mine.
I must live with that fact forever.
Many will not believe my tale,
for it is very unbelievable,
and perhaps… it is all together fake?
Entirely?
I can’t remember anymore.
It happened so long ago, I really can’t.
You must forgive me for this.

However, I will tell you, kind stranger,
all I can remember, and then some,
to entertain you as we wait here,
on this log in the middle of nowhere,
having nothing better to do
with our time anyway,
of my adventures.

I will tell you everything.



~*~The Curse of the Turtle~*~

First I remember going to Hawaii.

It is very nice to go to Hawaii.
There is lots of green, and food,
as well as strange animals.
(I have a thing for animals.)

I was barely a teenager then,
full of spirit and mischief,
and often getting myself into trouble.
My parents had never been
to this tropical paradise
where fish swam by the thousands
and birds and beasts swarmed about the land.
Hawaii was popular for a reason.

We loved our cruise there,
Though I must say I was too eager
to see Hawaii to enjoy it,
and spent much of my time away from the parties
out on the deck, searching for a distant island.
I had never been on a boat before,
and found the whole thing terribly exciting.

I watched dolphins leap out of the water,
their glistening wet bodies very graceful,
and grew even more eager to see
what lived in the tropics.

When we reached there, I was out in a heartbeat,
ready to explore my new surroundings.
The air was warm and smelled sweet,
And the wet sand clung to my bare feet.
There was lots of green,
So much green,
That it took my breath away.
Flowers dotted this mass of green,
and a lizard crawled among these,
looking very cute,
at least to me.

Being the idiot I am,
I decided to try and catch the lizard.
I lunged for it,
But it easily escaped,
Vanishing into the mass of green
From which it came.
Showing my stupidity even further,
I ran after it,
eager to see what the thing looked like.

My parents never noticed I was gone.

After stumbling about through the vegetation,
I finally realized I would never get that
weird little lizard, and thus chose to go back.
Yet, as I looked about, I found myself lost,
and unable to do what I wanted.
So, my brain still not desiring to work,
I chose a random direction and started walking.

When I was very much tired of walking,
I sat upon a stone to rest.
I paid the stone no heed as it squirmed,
or as it shouted, or as it struggled.
Only when the thing sank its teeth
into my leg did I give it my attention,
but still only half way, finding myself
in an interesting daydream at the moment.

“Child! Young man! Hellooo!” it hollered,
squirming again. I looked down at it,
the fact that a turtle had spoken to me
not registering at all.
“Hi,” I said dully, then chuckled
at a joke in my daydream.
“Hehe… Elephants in pink underwear…”

The turtle looked at me oddly,
Then began to squirm again,
And managed to throw me off.
I lay perfectly still on the ground,
Picturing the elephants,
And staring up at the sky dreamily.
“Yes, that would be a sight to see…”

I jumped as the turtle bit me again,
And looked at me crossly.
“Look boy,” he said, “I don’t know who you are,
but you can’t just sit on me like that.
You must pay…”

I lay back on the ground,
Enjoying the trees and clear blue sky,
As the elephants danced in pink underwear,
All through my mind.
I didn’t pay attention to the turtle.

The turtle suddenly sat down on my stomach,
Frowning, which I didn’t know
A turtle had the ability to do.
“What?” I asked, the elephants finally leaving.
“You must pay for sitting on me,”
snapped the turtle, eyeing me.
“I curse you!”

We sat for several moments staring
At each other, the turtle still
On my stomach, and myself still on my back.
Nothing happened.
“Well?” I demanded, growing impatient.
The turtle nodded, as though I
Had said something it agreed with.
“I curse you,” it repeated.
“K,” I shrugged, then shoved
the turtle off.

“No! Wait! You can’t just leave me here!”
pleaded the reptile,
looking up at me miserably.
“Why not? I found you here, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but I need your help!”

It turned out the turtle was a person,
Cursed with a curse only a
Very mentally messed up person could make,
And left to die in
the most luxurious island to exist.

Feeling sorry for the turtle,
I proceeded to help him,
By collecting a group of “men”
And “borrowing” a motorboat
To search for the one who had made the curse.

As we whipped away from Hawaii
At lightning speed,
I turned to look sadly
At the vacation I never got to have,
And watched the owner of the boat
Wave us farewell.
(Though his fists were clenched
and he wasn’t saying
very pleasant things)

[Crystalmaster Mike]

You said that in this epic, you were being the very opposite of silly, SM ( just realized: that's not only the abbreviation of your name). You were probably measuring things with a different tool than I do. *chuckles*

So... We have a till now genderless dreamer going on a may-be-fantasized trip to rescue a cursed turtle... Okay, this can go anywhere. Especially with you. Please, continue.

[Shadowed Mewtwo]

'Dis is fun!

~*~The Mighty Sock and the Hummingbird~*~

Our provisions were
three bags of potato chips
and a six liter coke.
Which I was sure would be plenty
For our trip to… Germany.

The turtle, which I had named “Turtle”
Said that he had come from this place,
And that the creature that had turned
Him into a turtle lived in
The ruins of a castle in this country.

So we set off in our little motorboat,
The kind fishing people go fishing in,
with three bags of potato chips.
My “men” made no complaints, however,
Being unable to speak at all anyway,
For they were actually random animals
I had caught to take with me
on our trip.

They climbed all over us,
and were rather annoying,
but I needed a crew.
At least they were all men;
I had checked.

We sped along in our little motorboat,
Going at a nice pace.
I whooped when we flew over waves
And Turtle screamed,
But that was the most dangerous thing
we found on the ocean.

Then later, after weeks had gone by,
I realized our potato chips
Had been gone for a while
And everyone was starving.
Our Coke was gone as well,
And I realized I
had been drinking ocean water
for days and not noticed it.
My crew ate each other,
And I ate my crew,
But Turtle was a turtle,
And could last months without food.
I loathed him for it.

Eventually there were only
twelve of us left on our boat,
and, with no other options,
we started praying to the first object
I could get my hands on:
My sock.

It smelled of something horrible
And had somehow turned
From white to green,
But we ignored the stench
As we bowed to the piece of cloth
That had once covered my left foot.

“Oh mighty Sockoe, hear our plea,
give us food!” I wailed,
the animals crying out their support.
Turtle seemed to be interested
In everything but us,
For he did not look at us at all.

We bowed for days, begging.
The sock lay there perfectly still,
And in my hunger
I began to wonder if it was mocking us.

Then, out of nowhere, Turtle cried out,
“There’s a hummingbird on your head!”
I sat up, put my sock back on, and echoed,
“A hummingbird on my head?”
“Yeah!”

Turtle grew excited,
pointing at me with his clawed foot.
“She’s right there! She’s asleep!”
I informed him that that was impossible.
Girls weren’t allowed on my ship.

“I see her!” squeaked a rat,
looking at my head hungrily.
I was once again unaware of the fact
That another animal had just spoken to me.
I was, at the moment,
Too busy staring back into his hungry eyes.
“The mighty Sockoe did it! It brought us food!”

Soon my “men” were all bowing
Before my left foot,
where I now wore my sock,
and muttered their praises in animal speech.
Turtle, quite forgotten,
Deliberately looked away from this scene.

When my crew was done bowing,
They attacked my head,
And I was flung into the water.
All the animals followed me
As I swam away in panic,
Terrified by the starving mob.
Only Turtle entered the water calmly,
Swimming at his own slow pace,
And somehow knowing I wasn’t
Going back to that boat.

Indeed, we were soon long gone
from the boat and lost in the mass of blue.
Yet I still kept swimming
From the mob of animals
Who were all quite sure
I had a hummingbird on my head
That they could eat.

Eventually it became night,
And when it was dark, I could not see.
So, when a rock lay before me,
I ran into it, still fleeing from my crew.
I heard the animals coming closer… closer…
And shut my eyes
knowing I was soon to be attacked.

Yet the attack never came,
But the creatures all swam past me towards…
Land!

[Crystalmaster Mike]

All hail the Mighty Sockoe!! Weirdness!

[Rainstone]

o_0 Whuh ... This is the coolest story, EVAH!! I think the funniest part, though, was when they stole the boat and the guy was bidding them farewell. ^_^ Marph!

[Shadowed Mewtwo]

This one's short... and I think there'll be more than three parts... ^^;; Sorry I took so long.

~*~The End of Sockoe~*~

I stumbled clumsily onto the beach,
Too shocked to say anything,
And too hungry to think.
I barely noticed as I
Trudged after my “men”
Into this new world,
Wherever it was.

Turtle came last,
and caught up to me easily,
even at his slow pace.
As though in a dream,
We all went onto the mainland,
And found ourselves
In a desert.

My clothes quickly dried,
Then my hair and skin,
Then my mouth,
As we went along
Over a sea of sand.

My already starving animals
Lasted only about a day out there
And one by one they dropped to their death
And were eaten by their comrades.

I secretly longed to go back to sea
Since I was suffering the same fate
Here as I had there.
At least in my boat
I could sit down,
But here I found myself
Growing tired and sore,
As well as thirsty,
And feared I would start hallucinating.

Indeed, when only Turtle and I were left,
I twice thought a cactus was a giant piece of pizza,
I saw sand and thought it was water,
And once I passed some food and thought it was a rock!
…Wait.

I turned around and looked,
Quite shocked, to see food
Lying there perfectly still
In the middle of the desert.
There was ice cream, cake, and celery,
All in neat little piles next to a big steak.
Turtle had already started munching on it,
And he looked very happy,
So I joined him.

Days later, we were still lost in the desert.
I was once again hungry, but turtle was fine,
Curse him for it.

As we went along,
Out there in the blistering heat,
My skin turning black from so much sun,
An idea came to my head.
Yelling at myself for not thinking
Of this before, I yanked off my left sock.

I placed the mighty Sockoe
neatly before me, perfectly flat on the ground.
I then bowed before it,
Crying out pleas of help and worship
To this smelly bit of cloth
That covered my foot.

Sockoe did nothing.

I begged and worshipped,
Sang, praised, pleaded, danced, bowed,
Did everything I could think of
To please my new idol,
But nothing worked.

Turtle had wandered around during this time,
Trying to keep as far away from me as possible.
He seemed embarrassed and annoyed
With the fact that I worshipped my sock,
But I didn’t care.
Sockoe was the first god I had ever had,
And the first to actually respond to me,
And I wouldn’t abandon it now.

After hours of my religious stuff,
Turtle walked over to me angrily.
“Why do you worship that thing?!
It’s dirty! There are holes in it!
It’s a nasty scrap of filth
That doesn’t even deserve
to sit upon your foot!”

I quietly begged for the mighty
Sockoe to forgive my friend,
And that he was delirious from the heat.
“You’re the one that’s delirious!”
snapped Turtle, stomping even closer.
I ignored him, and continued my prayer.

Turtle watched a few moments in disgust,
Then, for no reason at all,
he did the most unthinkable and cruelest thing
he could ever do.

He ate my sock.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
I screamed, lunging at him,
But Turtle dodged me easily.
I was weak from hunger,
And he was very much fine,
So as I chased him, Turtle was able to outrun me.

[Rainstone]

SOCKOOOOOOOOE!! Why?! How cruel!! *weep* Poor, poor Sockoe .... We barely knew you ... Wait. Am I mourning a sock?

[KRDC 03]

I want to eat the turtle. Can I eat the turtle? I figure its fair since he ate the ALL MIGHTY KING OF SOCKS! Grrr.... And socko was nice, too...

[Shadowed Mewtwo]

Rainstone: Yes, you will mourn for Sockoe, for he gave us the hummingbird!

KRDC 03: Think. If Turtle was eaten, what would be the point of what's-his-name being here?

~*~The People Who Don’t Like Us Very Much~*~

I chased Turtle all the way to a village.
The people here were strange,
And spoke as funny as they looked.
Though some were normal,
Wearing jeans and such in the desert,
But some wore what appeared,
To me, to be sheets from their beds.

These people Turtle hid among,
And somehow I could not
find him in the crowd,
he blended so well.

After a while of searching,
I sat down in annoyance.
People backed away from me,
Most likely in respect
since I had been the caretaker of Sockoe,
and held their noses…
a very strange custom of respect,
if you ask me.

After thinking for a while,
Another plan came to me.
Carefully, I took off my remaining sock,
The right one, and named her
Sockette.
I gently put her on my knee,
And began to pray, rather loudly,
For her to guide me to Turtle,
Who was now my enemy.
The people whispered amongst each other
As I did this, then began to shuffle away.

I prayed and prayed,
then when I was satisfied I’d prayed enough,
I got up, picked a random direction,
and started walking.
This had worked with finding Turtle before,
So now should not be much different.

Sure enough, I found Turtle fairly quick,
Talking with a pretty girl.
A very pretty girl.
Eagerly, I dashed over to the two of them,
And started flirting with her.
I ignored Turtle.

However, the girl did not seem all that impressed,
And kept glancing at my head.
After eleven glances up there, I had had enough.
“What?!” I said rather sharply, frowning.
“There’s a… really tiny bird on your head…”
she said, looking up with confusion.
“It’s a hummingbird.” said Turtle.
“She’s been there for a while.”
“I do not have a hummingbird on my head!”
I shouted.
“Girls weren’t allowed on my ship!”

“What’s wrong with girls?!” the girl asked sharply,
glaring. I gulped.
“And get this,” chuckled Turtle,
“not only does he have that hummingbird
on his head, but he thinks
this sock he worshipped brought it!”
The girl was horrified.
“THERE IS NO HUMMINGBIRD ON MY HEAD!!!”
I screamed at the top of my lungs,
And just to prove it, I hit the top of my head.
Nothing.

“You missed,” said Turtle. I scowled in rage.
The girl continued to stare at me in horror,
Then silently slipped away, looking slightly dazed.

Turtle looked down at my sock.
“It’s not a god…” he started,
but I lifted my hand to silence him.
“I know… you ate Sockoe, and this was just a last resort.
Come on, Turtle, let’s get something to eat!”
With that, we went to the nearest restaurant for a meal.

When we were finished,
We left the restaurant and found a crowd before us.
They looked very angry and annoyed,
And held clubs in their hands
Made of hard things to hit people with.
I grinned and waved,
But Turtle hid in his shell.

One man stepped forward
And lifted his club to his chest.
“It is said you worship a false god,”
he said, rather harshly.
I nodded, grinning wide.
“Sockoe!” was all I said to this.
The crowd around me began to murmur
To one another.
“You must leave, then.
You are not welcome here!” snapped the man.

I only shrugged at this,
picked up Turtle, and left.
I was barefoot now, but I didn’t care.
My belly was full, and I was happy.
What more did I need?

Soon Turtle and I came to another village.
We entered it arguing
Whether or not the stuff
in your belly button was edible.
I was for it, and Turtle was against,
But eventually I beat him by
Pointing out that he could never know,
Since he didn’t have a belly button.
I’m just smart like that.

The first thing we saw in this village
Was a person being killed,
And another being roasted.
Since I was full,
I decided not to join them in their meal,
And continued through the town.
They eyed me suspiciously a lot
And whispered to one another,
But what did I care?
I had the spirit of Sockoe to protect me!

I chose a random hut and entered it
To find myself face to face
with a slave person type thingy.
He was sneezing a lot as he worked,
Cleaning the dirt off the dirt floor,
And mumbled to himself.
I greeted him, but he only nodded coldly.

“What’s you name?” I asked, still grinning.
“Mein Name ist Kevin und wer sind Sie merkwürdiger Junge?”
said the slave-thing.
Turtle grew excited,
And proclaimed that the man spoke German.
Because of this,
Kevin and I were able to
Speak to one another.

Kevin had been captured
By this cannibalistic tribe several years ago.
He’d been lucky to be their slave
Instead of their supper.
He was a scientist,
Or had been at one time,
And went into the desert for the first time ever
To find that he was allergic to sand.
He had come to this village for help.
Turtle and I agreed he must come with us,
Since he was obviously from Germany,
And together we snuck him out of the tent.

I must say, the next scene was not that pretty
Since the cannibals chased us for a long time,
But after a terrible massacre of foreign man-eaters,
Kevin, Turtle, and I escaped
and made our way to Germany.

[Crystalmaster Mike]

How will the main priest of the Sock-Cult survive in Germany? ... I have no idea, but the way he will will surely be amusing. To us, that is.

[V.o.t.M]

What-the-bloody-hell?

........

I luv it!