this fic has some potential. keep at it! (btw:im only on the net during the week end)
Skin Deep
This fic was inspired by the Christina Aguilera song Beautiful and I decided to make a pokemon fic about beauty,
[color=sky blue]Skin Deep[/color]
Prologue:
As the sun rose into the dawn sky, a teenaged girl about 15 was busy packing her schoolbag with lots of beauty products like fur spray, moonpowder and mascara, now you may think she was going to a beauty party but in fact it was a Monday morning and Leah Nium was preparing for school.
Leah always wanted to be a beautician because her mother who had been killed by a stampede of Tauros’s was one of the best beautician in Inkien and Leah always liked brushing her mother hair and she loved putting make-up on her mother’s Ninetails as a little girl.
There was one occasion that she had always treasured in her memory which was when she was doing her mother’s hair her mother smiled at her and said in her pleasant voice:
“Leah my darling, one day you will be a great pokemon beautician like me”
Leah had always been inspired by what her mother had said to her as a little girl but her mother’s death had hit her hard and it almost stopped her from fufilling her dream to become a pokemon beautician, but her father didn’t want her dream to be shattered as she could carry on the pokemon beautician legacy and so he enrolled her into Lady Mirko’s Beauty School for young beauticians and he bought her own pokemon: a Hinbasu.
At first Leah thought her father had made a huge mistake by getting a pokemon that was ugly but as time went by Leah bonded with Hinbasu and she even gave her a nickname: Arphrodite after the greek goddess of love and beauty.
When she finished packing her bag, she grabbed the Elleball containing Arphrodite and walked out of the house and she continued walking until she reached the bus stop at the end of her road.
At the bus stop she met her best friend Violet Arcadia, Violet flicked her beautiful brown hair while Leah was getting her Bliss magazine out to show Violet and when she got it out, she showed Violet a page that was particular interesting as it was an interview with Daigo Steele of the Hoenn Elite 4 and while they were reading Leah said:
“Eh Violet, do you think Daigo woud actually snog Karen of the Johto Elite 4?”
“I’d rather Daigo snog me instead!” joked Violet and both girls giggled at what was was just said.
As Leah and Violet were chatting away the bus arrived and both girls got on, flashed their bus passes and walked towards their favourite seat on the bus.
As the bus trundled along Leah and Violet were busy admiring the boys who attended Entei Acaemedy and they were chatting away about them:
“Don’t you think the blonde guy is really fit?” asked Leah who had a crush on one of the guys from Entei Acaedemy.
“Nah I think the guy with the spiky gelled hair is fit” replied Violet and when Leah looked at the guy she completely changed her mind about the blonde guy she now used to have a crush on and she turned around and showed Violet the rest of the Bliss Magazine.
Suddenly the bus came to a halt and Violet and Leah both got the bus and right in front of them was Lady Mirko’s Beauty school and Leah stared at the school motto and it read:
Beauty is only skin deep
After Leah had read the motto, she walked through the scarlet gate with Violet ready for another school day.
Skin Deep
this fic has some potential. keep at it! (btw:im only on the net during the week end)
Skin Deep
well, to be honest, the idea is very good, but i fear that the death of Leah's Mum was added on the end. like when you talk to your gf about what you did at the weekend and slip in a comment about another girl at the end.
the death of her Mom is significant, so its be understandbale to have the prologue in chronological order: Have it with Leahs mum getting killed (more detail! a packet of tauros burgers cuda fallen on her, thats how little we know!) and try to express emotion more. Use a thesauros (shift+F7 on a highlighted word) in word to find much more descriptive and captivating words to describe the feel of the story.
This also shares a problem with TIL: long sentences! I need paid for the number of times i say this (jk, lol), but it is essential you break them up so we can read them eisier. It helps a lot, believe me. Get inspiriation from EBTV, LTL and WDC on these boards, and the authors themselves, as they're very very expirienced.
Show-Off
Contest fic
*Chapter 37 up*
Posted September 22nd, 2013
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Skin Deep
Chapter 1: an (almost) average school day
Leah and Violet walked toward their form room which was located in the old building of Lady Mirko’s and casually walked in, since it was only 8.25 they still had ten minutes until their form tutor Miss Cleffi would come and register them so they decided to talk to their other friends.
“Hey Beth!” asked Violet to her friend. “How’s your Silcoon?”
“Lettie isn’t a Silcoon anymore” replied Beth “It’s now a Agehanto and it’s such a beauty.”
Leah couldn’t see her friend Annie and she assumed that she was going to late as she always was late every Monday and so she got her sketch book and started to draw.
What she drew was the mysterious pokemon Suicune which looked graceful and beside it was a Mew which looked really cheerful and Leah was proud of what she had just drawed.
Leah loved drawing legendary pokemon as she had seen her mother draw a beautiful picture of an Articuno flying in a snowstorm, Leah kept the picture in her room to remind her of her mother’s talented hands. She always wondered if she would ever meet a Articuno.
Just as she had finished drawing the bell rang and everyone rushed into their seats and waited for Miss Cleffi to arrive.
Miss Cleffi walked gracefully into the classroom with her Cleffa skipping behind, she walked to her desk and sat down to do the register.
After the register Miss Cleffi went through a few announments which were mainly about the pokemon contest that was going to be held in two months time. Leah wasn’t listening to what she was saying as she was busy drawing Miss Cleffi’s Cleffa who was dancing to the jazz music that was playing in the classroom.
Just as she finished colouring the picture of Cleffa the bell for first period rung and she quickly packed the sketchbook and her pencil case into her bag and ran to her history lesson.
The lesson was about how pokemon were involved in the Vietnam war and the class watched a video showing how Donphans were used along side tanks and how the Vietcong used Voltorbs to blow up their enemies.
Although Leah was taking notes she was quietly talking to Annie(who had arrived late to school) about her Hinbasu:
“No matter how many pokeblocks I feed Aphrodite it still won’t evolve into Milotic”
“Well when she does evolve I‘ll be there filming it” whispered Annie who was trying her best not to talk too loudly in case Mr Crotab noticed them and give them a detention.
Leah knew that Annie would film Aphrodite evolving because Annie’s hobby was filming pokemon and people. She was the top student in her media studies because of all the documentries she had made using the camcorder that she got for her 14th birthday.
After jotting down her homework(which was to revise for a HARD test) Leah and Annie hurried down the stairs and they ran to their english lesson.
The reason why Leah and Annie ran to their lesson is so they could be front of the class and see their supply teacher Mr Rokic who all the girls in the school had a crush on. His long locks of blond hair and muscular body always made the girls drool and some of the sixth formers wondered if he was good in bed.
When Mr Rokic walked into the classroom all the girls sighed and as he wrote what was going to happen in the lesson the girls stared at his firm butt and ogled at it until he turned around to explain what was going to happen in the lesson.
“Alright class” said Mr Rokic “Today we are going to read Lisa the Legend by an Australian author called Gavin Luper, now Gavin is known for for writing The Crystal League and he is currently writing Only Human his first non pokemon story now who would like to read?”
The whole class put their hand up hoping that Mr Rokic would pick them, Mr Rokic waited for a moment and then said in his sexy voice:
“Leah you read first then Annie and Julie”
Leah started reading the first passage delighted that Mr Rokic had chosen her and she was daydreaming about him while reading the first section. The book itself was really good and by the time the class was over all the girls were crowding Mr Rokic’s desk asking if they could lend the book.
At lunch time Leah, Violet and Annie were in the libraby discussing about their make up class:
“Did you understand what the homework was?” asked Annie to Violet.
“Nope, I mean who going to research what kind of products makes fur feel smoother?” replied Violet who was stumped on what the homework their make-up teacher Mrs Kima had given them.
“I am” said Leah “I’m just going to search on the internet and then type it in my own words”
“But you always do your homework Leah” said Violet and Leah pulled a face.
In the last lesson which was chemistry Leah sat next to Roxy, a girl who was known to be a bit of a bully and she attacked her victims with her Poochyena and she was on the verge of being expelled and so she was on her best behavior.
The lesson was pretty boring so Leah started to draw Aphrodite in the back of her exercise book but as she was colouring it Roxy snatched the exercise book and started to look at it.
“Is this a drawing of your pokemon” asked Roxy and Leah nodded in shame.
“Ugly ain’t it?” said Roxy cackling and Leah’s thoughts were filled with anger and hatred.
“Was it given to you by your mother, if it was she must have been as ugly as the Hinbasu she had given you” taunted Roxy and she was cackling at the sight of Leah crying her eyes out because of what she had just said.
Suddenly Leah slapped Roxy across the cheek and in response Roxy pushed her off her stool and by that time both girls for fighting. The rest of the class were chanting for Leah or Roxy while Mr Gimi was struggling to break it up and in the end the headmaster(who was next door) had to break it up and he dragged the two girls to his office.
Mr Olaman(the headmaster) stared at the two girls who had cuts and bruises all over their faces and Leah had a bleeding lip as well and after looking at these two girls Mr Olaman said:
“Now girls, what the reason for you to fight?”
Leah looked at the headmaster in sorrow as she knew he was dissapointed with her as she was a good student and said:
“The reason we had a fight is because she insulted my dead mum and my Hinbasu, normally I would ignore such a comment but she said in such a way..”
“That enough Miss Nium” said Mr Olaman“Now I believe that Roxanne will apoligise to you for what she had done”
Roxy looked at Leah in an angry way and then her expression changed to a sorrowful look and she said in a sad voice:
“Sorry for insulting your mum and your pokemon.”
Leah knew she didn’t mean it but there was nothing she could do and while Mr Olaman was phoning her dad Leah stared at Roxy and Roxy had an expression on her face which Leah knew meant I’ll get you after school!. Leah was now scared as she heard about how Roxy had commanded her Poochyena to attack Mary Hing a girl that was in the year below and she had to be in hospital for two weeks to be treated for the bites that Poochyena had given her.
Her thoughts were interupted by the salmming of the phone and Leah knew that Mr Olaman had just been talking to her father and then Mr Olaman spoke to her in in posh voice:
“Now Leah that was your father on the phone, we both agreed that you should get a detention as this is your first offense now go along I’ve got to talk to Roxanne”
Leah left the office and she met up with Annie who was looking pretty miserable and Leah said:
“What the matter Ann?”
“Mr Gimi was pretty pissed off and so he made us write an essay on how fighting is not worth doing and he expecting us to attend a detention tommorow because he thought we wanted a fight!” replied Annie who had an angry look on her face.
“Want to go the libraby with me, I’ve got some research to do” asked Leah wanting to forget the fight against Roxy.
“Sure” replied Annie“I’ve got to do research on pokemon habitat anyway.”
Leah and Annie walked towards the bus stop and waited for the bus then a moment later the bus arrived and both Leah and Annie jumped onto the bus, flashed their passes and sat in the back seats of the lower deck.
At that moment Roxy and her Poochyena were staring at the bus and she stared at the moving bus until it had gone then she uttered:
“You’re dead Nium!”
Skin Deep
This is really so beautiful, JonMuch nicer than Idol Quest or Victorian League, the plot is really original too. Me like this loads!!!
Skin Deep
Chapter 2: the beautiful discovery
When the bus stopped in front of the library, both Leah and Annie got off and silently walked through the doors of the libraby.
The library was a huge place, it was so big that you could easily get lost in it but Leah had been in this library ever since she started primary school so she knew every nooks and cranny about the place.
She regulary came here with either Annie or Violet and usually they would admire the male librarian who they all thought was sexy, but today Leah and Annie were far too busy doing research although Leah was returning Glory’s Long Road which was two weeks overdue and she had flirted with the male librarian and persuade him to let her off and she managed not to pay the fine.
Now she had returned Glory’s Long Road she was eager to get a couple of books that had just been released and she searched the shelves and grabbed the books that she wanted.
Meanwhile Annie was busy searching the nature section of the library and she couldn’t find a book on Lotad habitat which she needed for her media studies coursework, in her frustation she grabbed all the books on habitats and slammed them onto the table and when she grabbed the last book she saw it was the book she wanted and she cheered really loudly for ages until a lot of shushing noise shut her up.
Leah was still in the fiction section and was busy looking at the books she was going to borrow, they were When Destinies Collide, Electric Buggy to Victory, From Rookie to Champion:the Indigo road, Lucky Charms and Through Blind Eyes( a book recommended by top authors) but this was just the start of the books she was was going to borrow.
While this was happening Leah’s dad Josh Nium was on the phone to Mr Olaman, he was discussing about what had happened to Leah and this is how the conversation was:
“Hello Mr Olaman” said Josh in his gruff voice.
“Hello Mr Nium” replied Mr Olaman“Haven’t you spoke me before about what happened to Leah?”
“Yes” said Josh“But I need to speak to you about Leah’s future”
“What do you mean?” shouted Mr Olaman in a really surprised tone
“Leah is an excellent student, she has good grades and..”
“Yeah that true” interupted Josh“But I don’t think that she happy because that incident today was about her Hinbasu and about her mother who’s dead, I think that she need to out of school for a bit to cool off”
“Hmmm” replied Mr Olaman sternly“You mean she becomes a pokemon trainer?”
“No, no!” said Josh who knew that his daughter would never become a pokemon trainer in a thousand years“I mean she goes on a gap year of some kind”
“Well that can be arrange,” replied Mr Olaman who disapproved of the idea“I will speak to Leah tomorrow, goodbye!”
“Bye” said Josh and he put the phone down hoping he had done the right thing.
Back at the library Leah was searching the shelves for one more book and she decided to got to the myths and legends section which she had only looked for books in that particular section once and that was only for Theseus and the Minotaur which she thought wasn’t really interesting.
Looking through the shelves she didn’t find anything interesting, as she went to the top shelf and she saw a book that she wanted. It was quite dusty because it hadn’t been read for a long time, it had a beautiful violet cover with gold writing that said:POKEMON MYTHS AND LEGENDS, immediately Leah grabbed it off the shelf and went to a nearby table to read it.
The contents of the book wasn’t interesting, it was mainly about the legendary birds, the legendary beasts, the Rejis and other legendary creatures like Mew, Jiranchi and Celebi. Leah was about to shut the book when she saw a page that she quickly read and she took notes in her notebook at the same time.
This is what Leah wrote in her note book:
The beauty stone is one of the rarest stones in the world, it is believed to have powers to turn something hideous into something beautiful.
The gorgon Milada was believed to have found the beauty stone in a cave which was in the region of Reke and when she touched it she was transformed into a person as beautiful as a goddess.
To prevent it falling into the wrong hands, Milada put the stone in a box and ordered the two most beautiful pokemon in the world Articuno and Suicune to guard the cave from any intruders, only the person who wants to use the stone but not for their heart’s desire will be able to go into the cave and be able to use the stone.
However Milada used magic to make the journey for the stone very difficult, she created guardians who would give the person looking for the stone a task, if they completed the task the guardian will give the person a piece of the magical map which will lead them to the stone.
so far no person has ever completed these tasks and so the stone has never been recovered.
Leah quickly reread her notes and then she slammed her note book and started looking for Annie.
She found Annie reading a book on the famous film maker Stanley Kubrick(who she idolise), she pulled her toward the reception where they got their books stamped and they went to the bus stop where they saw the bus strolling along so they started to chat about the books they had borrowed until the bus arrived at the bus stop and the two girls got on and went to back to continue their discussion.
When Leah opened the door to her house she saw her dad watching T.V while drinking beer, this wasn’t unusual as he did this after he had come from work and when Leah slammed the door he knew she was home.
“Hi Dad” chirped Leah happily
“Hey Lea!” replied her dad. “How was your trip to the library?”
“It was great!” said Leah happily. “I got some really cool books and I managed to get some research done too!”
“That cool” said her dad. “Oh by way we’re having pizza tonight and it’s your favourite too”
Although Leah knew her father wasn’t happy with her because of what had happened at school, she knew that he knew that the fight wasn’t her fault but she wanted to surprise her dad with the annoucement that she was planning to go on a quest for the beauty stone.
While chewing on her slice of pepperoni pizza, Leah was planning what she was going to say to her dad but every time she thought of something it sounded stupid. Then while she was finishing her strawberry ice cream she finally thought of something smart and mature to say and she shouted:
“Dad, Dad I’ve got something to tell you!”
“What it is now?” said her Dad in a bored tone. “Decided to become a pokemon trainer?”
“No, you know I wouldn’t never be a pokemon trainer” remarked Leah. “I am going on a quest to find the beauty stone so I am use it to evolve Aphrodite into a Milotic”
“Er Leah” replied her dad. “I phoned your headmaster and we agreed that you should take a break from school to try and calm down after having a fight”
Leah looked at him and smiled, she then walked up to her dad and hugged him really hard while saying thank you about a hundred times then she stopped and ran up to her room to ring Annie on her mobile.
“Hey Annie!” chirped Leah happily to her friend.
“Hi Leah” replied Annie. “How did your dad react to when he found out you had a fight?”
“He was cool about it” said Leah. “Hey guess what Ann?”
“What?” asked Annie who wanted know what her friend wanted her to guess.
“I’m going on a quest to find the beauty stone!” squeled Leah and both she and Annie screamed in delight.
“So I was wondering Annie” asked Leah. “Do you want to come with me on the quest and film my journey across Reke?”
Annie was silent for a second and suddenly she screamed:
“YES, when do we leave?”
“Erm..tommorow I think” said Leah. “Dad’s going to phone the school and ask them if you can come with me but I’ll phone you back, bye!”
Leah put the phone down and waited for her dad to finish his phone call with phone call with Mr Olaman so that he could let Annie go with Leah on her quest for the beauty stone, after finishing the call and putting the phone down there was silent for a moment then Leah’s dad said:
“Mr Olaman has agreed that Annie can come with you but only if she can film your every move for her media studies project, understand?”
Leah nodded and grabbed her dad’s mobile so she could ring Annie who was properly waiting on Leah on the other line and when Annie picked up Leah shouted:
“WE’RE GOING ON THE QUEST!”
“I know” replied Annie quietly. “My parents are letting go too, so when are we leaving?”
“Tommorow at the latest” said Leah excitely. “But I must book the boat tickets to Hope Town, a little town in Reke where all people on a quest or journey start out and the starting trainers even get their own pokemon!”
“That cool,” replied Annie casually. “anyway I’ll meet you outside your house and your dad will give us a lift in his car, we go on the boat and we have breakfast and when arrive in Hope Town we will meet the proffeser of the town”
“That’s a great idea Annie” said Leah casually. “I’ve got to go now, bye!”
Leah put down the phone and waited for her dad who had gone out to get the boat tickets from the travel agents, after waiting half an hour she decided to pack her stuff so she wouldn’t have to do it in the morning. By the time her dad had come home she had finished packing and she was knackered.
As her dad gave her the tickets Leah felt excited because his was the first time she had gone away from home but then she started to cry because she thought that her dad would miss her too much but her dad smiled and gave her his hankie so she could wipe her tears and blow her nose. He went towards the picture of a pokeball and pressed the opening mechanism, suddenly the picture swung like a door revealing a safe.
While her dad was twisting the dial Leah wondered what he was going to give her, then after shutting the safe he turned around and Leah noticed he had a pokeball in his hand. He then placed the pokeball in her hand and said:
“Open it”
Leah threw the pokeball and shouted:
“Pokeball, Go!”
The pokeball opened and as the white light slowly took form and Leah instantly knew what it was.
“It’s a Vulpix!” shouted Leah. “But I thought that Mum’s Ninetails never gave birth to any litter”
“That actually not true” replied her dad. “Ninetails gave birth to three Vulpix while you were on the school trip to Kanto but two of them died so we decided to keep Vulpix a secret until you went on your journey, but since you going on a quest I think now is the time to give it to you”
The Vulpix starting barking and Leah picked her up and hugged her with all her might, then she said to Vulpix:
“I am going to call you Vesta after the Roman goddess of fire, thank you Dad!”
“You’re welcome” replied her dad and Leah ran up to her room where she found out that she had got a text message on her mobile from Annie which said:
MUM BOUGHT MI A ROSELIA 4 THE QUEST C U 2MORROW ANNIE.
Leah turned off her mobile and returned Vesta to her pokeball then she collasped onto her bed and went to sleep dreaming about finding the stone.
When she got up she went to her wardrobe and got on her favourite outfit which was a blue and pink t-shirt with a heart on it, blue denim jeans, white trainer with the symbol of a Zangoose on the side and she got her black headband which had a green pokeball symbol on it and she put it on. Then she grabbed the Elleball containing Aphrodite and the pokeball containing Vesta and clipped onto her belt and casually walked down the stairs.
She saw her dad drinking coffee but Leah wasn’t hungry or thirsty so she got her white coat on and waited until he had finished his coffee.
There was a knock on the door and Leah instantly knew that it was Annie, she opened the door and the sight of Annie(who was using her camcorder) made her smiled then Annie said:
“Today is day one of the quest for beauty stone, we now see Leah Nium opening the door to begin her quest”
“Er..Annie” replied Leah. “The quest does not begin ‘til we get to Hope Town”
Leah and Annie waited outside the car and saw Leah’s dad running towards them and when he arrived panting he said:
“Sorry girls, I thought I had lost my car keys but I found them in my back pocket, so off we go!”
Both Leah and Annie got into the back seats and Leah’s dad started the car and off they went, while the car was strolling along the road Leah and Annie were admiring the view from the car window and they saw Miltanks feeding their young, some Mareeps grazing and a herd of Pontya and Rapidash running around. When the two girls got bored of looking at the scenery they decided to read Kute magazine and admired all the guys in it.
When they finally got to the port Leah and Annie saw the boat they were going to board, it looked like the S.S. Anne but it had the words S.S POSEIDON instead. Leah and Annie looked at their watches and realised that they had twenty minutes to board the boat and so ran to the check-in, got their passports checked, their ticktet checks and they rushed towards the docking bays.
As they boarded the S.S Poseidon Leah saw her dad waving to her and she he was crying, Leah also started crying as she went into the ship and she went to her room with Annie so they could have a quick nap. As the horn of the ship blared they both knew that that the quest had begun.
Skin Deep
Why is no one replying?
I am thinking of adding lesbian characters but I’m not sure and also I’ve this pokemon in the fic that I made up called Cluff(a cloud pokemon) which is Jon’s main pokemon but are made-up pokemon good in fics?
Skin Deep
LESBIANS! No, I'm not sex-crazed... I'm just in a tizz over it because of the recent controversy over T.A.T.U.
As long as you focus mainly on relationships and not on sex or anything like that... I'm sure it'll be allowable... Go on... Be daring!
(Make sure to put a note up... Something like 12A/PG13 or something)
As for Cluff... I'm having my own little mental dispute whether to have pokemon of my own in it... I suppose its alright... It may be a little harder on you... You'll have to go into a bit more detail about it cos no one apart from you actually knows whst it properly looks like... Heck, I always thought Lotad had a moustache...!
[SIZE=8pt]Who will you stand with?[/SIZE]
Skin Deep
Chapter 3: ‘rriving in Reke
As the boat arrives into the docks Leah and Annie admired the view of Hope Town from out of their port hole, compared to Rimble Town(where Leah and Annie lived in Inkien) Hope Town had this more positive feeling to it and they could not wait to explore Hope Town.
“I can’t wait to meet the proffeser of Hope Town!” said Leah excitely. “Apparently he gives people their first pokemon plus a pokedex and some pokeballs too”
“Yeah, but there’s no way that he or she will give us a pokedex and pokeballs let alone pokemon!” replied Annie bluntly while filming the scenery ahead.
As the boat sailed into the harbour Leah and Annie were busy packing their pyjamas into their bags because the journey from Inkien to Reke had taken almost a day. During that time Leah and Annie had drank smoothies, talked to other trainers and even had a swim in the swimming pool with some really fit guys(one of them even flirted with Leah) but apart from that it was bascially like a normal cruise ship and the two girls were glad they had arrived in Reke.
Just as they had left their cabin an annoucement boomed out of the speakers:
“LADIES & GENTLEMEN WE HAVE ARRIVED IN HOPE TOWN, FROM ALL THE CREW OF THE S.S. POSEIDON WE HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD STAY IN REKE!”
Leah and Annie walked down the stairs of the boat and had a closer look at Hope Town, it looked deserted so Leah checked her watch and realised that it was 8.15 in the morning and so not many people would be up. When they walked further into the town they saw two kids(a boy and a girl) running towards a laboratory, assuming this was the place where the proffesser worked Leah and Annie followed the two kids to the lab.
The lab was a small building with a domed roof and had a pokeball symbol on the front, Leah and Annie had visited Proffeser Oak’s lab when they were in Kanto for a school trip and this lab was exactly like it in every little detail apart from the pokeball symbol.
The two kids that Leah and Annie had followed noticed the two girls who had followed them to the lab started to talk to them, the boy said:
“Hi, are you here to get your first pokemon from Proffeser Artemis?”
“Nope, we already got pokemon” replied Annie. “We just need to speak to the proffeser about getting some pokeballs.”
“You see we are on a quest to find the beauty stone” said Leah. “It’s to evolve my Hinbasu into a Milotic”
“I think Milotic’s are beautiful” said the girl. “Oh by the way, my name is Gabi and this my friend Shaun, what are your names?”
“I’m Leah Nium” replied Leah in a pleasant tone.
“I’m Annie Satoshi” said Annie. “So what pokemon do you two want to get?”
“I want a Treeko!” shouted Shaun. “They’re so powerful and I know that it will help me win all the gym battles”
“I want a Mudkip!” squeled Gabi. “although I really like a Skitty or a Meditite or..”
As Gabi droned on about what pokemon she wanted, Leah and Annie decided to knock on the door of the lab to see if Proffeser Artemis was in. But after nursing their knuckles from knocking on the glass door Leah realised that the proffeser wasn’t in so she crossed her arms and waited.
Annie leaned on the door and suddenly the door swung open much to her surprise and assuming that the proffeser might be inside Leah, Annie, Gabi and Shaun crept in.
As they looked for Proffeser Artemis Leah saw three pokeballs on the wooden table and couldn’t resist opening the pokeballs to see what was inside. One by one a Treeko, a Torchic and a Mudkip beamed out of their pokeballs, just as Leah was about to stroke Mudkip when she felt a hand on her shoulder and when she turned around she saw an angry Proffeser Artemis.
Proffeser Kayla Artemis had short black hair and Leah assumed she was a tomboy, she wore a blue t-shirt which was under a long white lab coat and she wore dark blue trouser which were far too short for her as Leah could see her socks. Proffeser Artemis grabbed Leah by the scruff and shouted:
“TRYING TO STEAL SOMETHING POKETHIEF!” as she screamed at Leah spit flew out of her mouth and hit Leah directly in the face.
“B-but I-I wasn’t trying to steal anything!” stuttered Leah. “I was looking for you.”
“Likely story POKETHIEF!” replied Proffeser Artemis. “Now come with me to the police station.”
In her fright Leah stepped backwards, as Proffeser Artemis came closer to her she leaned against the glass case and pushed the red button with her arm.
Suddenly the glass case opened and all the pokemon that were in the glass case escaped. A Cacnea jumped on Gabi’s back and she screamed because of its spikes really hurt, a Aipom scuttled towards Shaun and stole his goggles that were on his black and blue cap and a Machoke started to headlock Proffeser Artemis.
Leah and Annie knew they had to sort this mess out so they got the pokeballs containing their new pokemon and threw them.
“Go Vesta!” yelled Leah and her graceful Vulpix jumped out of her pokeball and she looked ready to battle.
“Go Roselia!” shouted Annie and the beautiful but deadly rose pokemon beamed out and twirled around like a ballerina.
“Vesta, use ember on Cacnea!” bellowed Leah and at her command a bright yellow flame flew out of Vesta’s mouth and hit the Cacnea which was on Gabi’s now sore back causing it to jump off her back and it rolled across the floor desperately trying to get rid of the flames on its back.
Annie and Roselia were looking for the Aipom that had taken Shaun’s goggles, they searched the whole of Hope Town and eventually found it sitting on a tree eating an apple then Annie had an idea.
“Roselia, use sleep powder on that Aipom!” shouted Annie, as she said this white powder shot out of Roselia’s roses and Aipom stopped eating and smelt the powder to see what it was. Suddenly the Aipom started to feel drowsy and a second later it was sleeping like a baby.
Back at the lab, Leah was having problems as her Vulpix had just been defeated by Machoke (who was still headlocking Proffeser Artemis) and she knew that Aphrodite was too weak to fight because she was more of a pet than a fighter. Luckily Shaun and Gabi had managed the pokeballs containing Treeko and Mudkip and they were fighting the Machoke but they were struggling to defeat it.
At that moment Annie swung the metal door open and looked at the Machoke sternly, she walked towards it and then she shouted:
“Stun Spore Roselia!”
A bright yellow powder shot out of Roselia’s roses and it sprinkled Machoke’s body, the pokemon tried to brush it off but by that time it was fully paralysed and it collasped onto the lab floor;The proffeser(who was covered in stun spore) was struggling to get up due to the effects of the stun spore, luckily Leah had some Paralyse heal and she sprayed Proffeser Artemis and as she finished spraying the professer got up and brushed away the remaining stun spore.
“Thank you girls” said Proffeser Artemis. “How can I repay you?”
“Well we do need some pokeballs…” replied Leah happily.
“..And maybe a pokedex!” continued Annie who was healing hers and Leah’s pokemon using the healing machine that was in the lab.
“I can give you pokeballs but I only have three pokedexes” replied Proffeser Artemis. “Tell you what I’ll give you something that I received yesterday.”
The proffeser reached for her lab coat and pulled out a small silver device that looked similar to a Game Boy Advance SP. But when Leah opened the case it had buttons that looked like the A, B, X and Y button of a Gamecube and it had two intials on the bottom of the screen that said P.D.
“This is the Pokemon Database or Pokedat for short.” said the proffeser. “It’s the next generation of trainer accessories, it has a built in Pokedex, the features of a Pokegear(the phone and the radio) and it even has the features of the Pokenav(the trainer eye and the pokemon stats), now what do you think girls?’
“It brilliant!” said Leah happily. “Just the thing we need for the quest.”
“Can we pick our pokemon now?” moaned Shaun. “I waited long enough and I’m bored.”
“Don’t be rude Shaun!” said Gabi and punched him quite hard on the arm. “These girls are going on a QUEST and you and I are going on a JOURNEY.”
“Okay Shaun.” Said Proffeser Artemis.“You can now pick your first pokemon.”
Shaun walked towards the table with the three pokemon and he looked at Mudkip, Treeko and Torchic. He was about to pick Treeko but he had changed of heart when he was pecked gently by Torchic and Shaun took a liking to it so he picked up its pokeball and said in a proud voice:
“Torchic is mine!”
While Shaun was hugging his Torchic Gabi was deciding if she should pick Mudkip or Treeko but after ten minutes of thinking she picked Mudkip who immediately took a liking to her and it started to spray water around the lab to impress her.
While this was all happening Leah and Annie were busy looking at the map of Reke. They realised that in order to get to Hercul Town
(the next town) they would have to wait a couple of days because the walking path was being repaired so they asked the proffeser:
“Do you know an alternate route to Hercul Town?”
“I’m afraid there is only one other route.” Replied the proffeser. “And that’s that using the roads, but since you two girls helped me out I will give you a lift in my jeep.”
Leah and Annie walked outside with Proffeser Artemis and got into her metallic green jeep, after they put their seat belts Leah started drawing Shaun and Gabi while Annie was busy filming Leah drawing with her camcorder. As they driving along they saw a flock of Wingulls, a swarm of Beautiflies, a pack of Poochyena and even a even a tree which was surrounded by Silcoons and Cascoons.
As they neared Hercul Town, Leah wondered what Hercul Town had in store for her and Annie.
Skin Deep
Its pretty good, but you should put more description on what the pokemon look like and describe the battles better and make them longer. Other than those two problems and a few spelling errors, its pretty good. *waits for the next chapter*
Skin Deep
Magnifique would be the one and only word to describe this fiction. This is superb stuff, Jon, although Professor is Professor and not Proffesor. Cya
Skin Deep
Chapter 4: there’s one in every Fan fic
When the jeep stopped at the outskirts of Hercul Town Leah and Annie got out of Proffeser Artemis’s jeep, as the jeep drove back to Hope Town Leah and Annie waved goodbye to Proffeser Artemis then they headed off to the nearest pokemon centre.
At the pokemon centre, the atmosphre was quite busy with people healing their pokemon. With the radio blaring to Being Nobody by Richard X versus Liberty X the pokemon centre seemed even busier.
While Annie was at the shops buying some more food(Leah had eaten most of it while they were in the jeep). Leah was reading a magazine which had an interview with When Destinies Collide author Ryan Chiko who was discussing about the possible sequels and what characters might appear in it.
As she was reading, a boy with glasses and jet black hair ran into the pokemon centre but then he tripped and went straight down onto the carpet floor. Leah noticed he was wearing a jet black t-shirt which had a yellow smiley face on it, blue denim jeans that looked like they hadn’t been washed in a long time because they had a lot of dirt on them and he wore trainers that looked like they had been through a pig sty as they were really muddy.
When the boy got up, he brushed the dirt off his t-shirt then he continued to search the pokemon centre while shouting:
“CLUFF WHERE ARE YOU?”
Leah put the magazine back in her bag and she wondered if she should help this guy look for his missing pokemon. after a lot of thinking she decided to help the guy but first she had to get his attention.
The boy had gone outside to a patch of grass as he was still searching for his pokemon so Leah went outside and when she got near to him she tapped on his shoulder lightly, then the boy turned and said:
“What do you want?”
Leah looked at the guy in disgust then she cleared her throat and then she said:
“I want to help you look for your pokemon ‘cos I saw you searching the pokemon centre.”
“You want to help me?” said the boy. “thanks, oh by the way my name is Jon Owng if you want to know.”
“I’m Leah Nium.” replied Leah. “We’ll find your pokemon before you can say Minty Thrill!”
“Minty Thrill.” said Jon repeating the words that Leah had just said.
Leah and Jon started searching the patch of grass that they were in, they saw a Pidgey, a Rattata and a Spearow(which pecked Jon on the nose when he disturbed it) but there was no sign of Cluff(the name of Jon’s pokemon).
Leah climbed a nearby tree to see if Cluff was sleeping on the branches. As she climbed higher she saw something that looked like a cloud(Jon had told her that Cluff was a cloud pokemon), but when she had a closer look she saw that it was a nest full of baby Swablus
and that their cloud like wings had fooled Leah into thinking she had found Cluff. Suddenly Leah saw a Altaria flying towards the nest and she was so frightened that she fell from the tree and crashed onto the nearby grass, as she lay on the grass motionless she saw Jon walking towards her and picked her up then he said:
“Why were you being lazy? We are meant to be looking for Cluff!”
Leah gave Jon a stare that could of turned him into stone but Leah didn’t have the looks of Medusa so she just followed Jon back into Hercul Town.
They decided to search the local library because Leah thought that a place she always visted when she was in Inkien, but after Jon ransacked it(he had thrown all the books off the shelves) they were kicked out. With no ideas where Cluff could be Leah decided that she and Jon should take a break from looking for Cluff and headed towards a nearby café.
While Leah was ordering the hot chocolates and chocolate fudge cake Jon had sat down at a table near the window and he just stared at the beautiful scenery of Hercul Town while listening to Coldplay’s A Rush of blood to the head on his C.D. player. When Leah sat down with the hot chocolate in her hands she noticed that Jon was crying and she asked:
“Why are you crying?”
Jon looked up at her and wiped his tears, he replied miserably:
“We’ll never find Cluff, we’ve looked everywhere!”
“We will find Cluff even if it takes all day!” said Leah in a triumph voice. “So we should look inside Dixons.”
“Why?” asked Jon curiously. “Bit farfetched if you ask me.”
But when Jon had looked up he realized that Leah had gone so he put his chair under the table and ran to the Dixons across the street.
Inside Dixons Leah was looking through the T.V sections hoping that Cluff was watching the weather channel while Jon was in the computer games section looking for Dungeon Dice Monsters, Panzer Dragoon Poke and Pkmn Factor II(a online shooting game similar to Red Faction 2 and Unreal Tournament 2003). After looking at all the T.Vs she dragged Jon out of Dixons(who was in the middle of purchasing his games).
Sitting outside on a wooden bench in the middle of Hercul Square, Jon and Leah sat miserably while looking at the clear sky. They had looked everywhere for Cluff and they still hadn’t found him and Jon thoughts were filled with worry:
What if I never find him, what will happen if someone captures him and What if he is dead.
Suddenly Leah saw Annie being chased by a small white cloud with small black beady eyes who was obviously Cluff, as Annie came running towards Leah and Jon they noticed that Annie was soaking wet.
“This little **** pissed on my head!” said Annie who was so angry that veins were visible on her head.
“Cluff! You’re safe.” Said Jon happily and started hugging Cluff then he returned it to his pokeball.
“Who this?” asked Annie curiously. “Is it a new boyfriend?”
“No.” replied Leah. “Annie this is Jon Owng, Jon this is Annie Satoshi.”
“Hi there” said Jon and Leah noticed had he gone scarlet.
“Hiya Jon.” Replied Annie and she was blushing and Leah knew that both Annie and Jon had chemistry between them.
“So where to next?” asked Leah who interupted Jon and Annie’s moment of admiring each other.
“Er..Demeter’s Forest.” replied Annie checking the map on the Pokedat.
“Can I come with you?” asked Jon. “I..erm might be useful on your journey.”
“Course you can.” Replied Annie quickly. “Maybe you can give us more details about yourself.”
The trio headed towards the path that lead to Demeter’s Forest while Jon was telling Annie his life story, Leah wondered if Jon would be useful on their quest for the beauty stone.
Skin Deep
I think the idea of this fic is really good but this fic could be a lot better, for instance you could break up your sentences because they run on really really long and things happen way too quickly plus there are spelling errors and the like, and before I forget I think that Jon doesn't really care about his Pokemon very much if he's purchasing games instead of looking for it.
Wow. I stated my opinions and showed how difficult run-on sentences are to read, and in one sentence too!
Very interesting!
Well, this story catches the eye. I espeically the way you brought the new Pokémon into the story, and still make it sound professional (kind of hard when the game isn't out yet). I also like the characters.
May the Force be with you!
Skin Deep
The idea for this fic is good, but you really need to break up the run-on sentences. And aslo describe what the pokemon look like throughly. And also, like mr_pikachu said, thing are happening way to quickly. Other than that and some spelling errors, its pretty good.
Skin Deep
Sorry for not posting any new chapters, My Disk broke so I had to retype Skin Deep.
I am currently typing Chapter 5 and writing Chapter 6 which features Oakbark as one of the characters.
Skin Deep
tough break about the chappies. Keep plugging away and they'll be done in no time.
Show-Off
Contest fic
*Chapter 37 up*
Posted September 22nd, 2013
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Skin Deep
After weeks of retyping and writer's block, here is (Drum roll) CHAPTER 5.
Chapter 5: a fish called Dussane
Leah, Annie and Jon were walking along the path of Demeter’s Forest, as they were walking Leah was talking to Jon about him and Cluff:
“Jon, I think you and Cluff are like Tyler and Magmar from The adventures of Tyler and Magmar.”
“How? Magmar can speak english and has an idiot for a trainer and Cluff...”
“Can’t speak english but has an idiot for a trainer!”
Jon looked at Leah in digust, the fact that Cluff was being compared to a fictional talking Magmar and even worse he was being compared to that idiot Tyler.
While Leah and Jon were talking, Annie was busy filming the surrounding around her. With Butterfrees and Beautiflys flying together, Beedrills taking the pollens from flowers and Surskits skimming the surface of the murky lakes, Annie felt that she could produce the best documentry ever.
They decided to set camp as Leah and Jon were tired after walking for quite a long time. After setting up all the tents, Annie decided to do cook some soup for all of them while Leah was reading Lapras Vallley High (which was a very good book) in her tent and Jon was busy sorting his Yu-Gi-Oh cards while eating chocolate at the same time.
Jon released Cluff so he could get some fresh air but instead Cluff decided to annoy one of the girls, he floated towards Annie and made faces. Unfortunately for Cluff, Annie just ignored him and this pissed off Cluff (who loved to make mischief) so he decide to annoy the next best thing: Leah.
Cluff floated towards Leah’s tent and waited until Leah had finished reading Lapras Valley High, When she put the book away into her bag, Leah noticed that Cluff was outside her tent and he surrounded with static electricity but she ignored him assuming that Jon had given Cluff an electric shock. Suddenly a bolt of electricity flew out of Cluff’s body and was heading straight towards her, Leah tried to move out of the way but she got struck by the electricity. After being frazzled by the bolt of electricity, Leah bellowed with fury:
“JON! GET YOUR *** HERE NOW!”
Jon(who had been sorting his Famous Pokemon Masters cards), got out of his tent and slowly walked towards Leah’s tent. When he got there he noticed an angry Leah, so he asked in a bored tone:
“What do you want?”
“WHAT DO I WANT? I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT! I WANT YOU AND THAT ****ING CLUFF TO PISS OFF!” yelled Leah and she
slapped him in her fury.
Jon ran off into the darkest part of the forest with tears streaming down his cheeks, his hatred for Leah grew as he ran. Leah started to break down in tears as she had never acted like this before and Annie (who was in shock) was trying to comfort Leah but she knew that Leah would regret what she had just done.
*
Jon was sitting beside an oak tree which was near a crystal clear lake that he stared at his reflection while Cluff (who had followed him) tried to cheer him up by shocking the Wingull that were flying around Jon. Jon quietly laughed to himself while he got out his C.D walkman and he listened to track 5 of Justin Timberlake’s album Justified which was ‘Cry me a River’.
Justin Timberlake: Cry me a River
You were my sun
You were my earth
But you didn't know all the ways I loved you, no
So you took a chance
And made other plans
But I bet you didn't think your thing would come crashing down, no.
Chorus
You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I found out from him
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
And don't it make you sad about it
You told me you loved me Why did you leave me, all alone
Now you tell me you need me
When you call me, on the phone
Girl I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other guy
(I'm not like them baby)
Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn
(It's your turn)
To cry,
cry me a river
Cry me a river-er
Cry me a river
Cry me a river-er, yea yea.
I know that they say
That somethings are better left unsaid
It wasn't like you only talked to him and you know it
(Don't act like you don't know it)
All of these things people told me
Keep messing with my head
(Messing with my head)
You should've picked honesty
Then you may not have blown it
(Yea..)
You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I found out from him
(I already know, uh)
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
(No chance, you and me)
And don't it make you sad about it
Chorus
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done, So I guess I be... leaving.
You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I found out from him
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
And don't it make you sad about it
Chorus
(Cause I've already cried)
Cry me a river-er, yea yea
(Ain't gonna cry no more, yea-yea)
Cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me)
Cry me a river, oh
(Cry me, cry me).
As the track finished, Jon felt that Justin’s soothing vocals had made him feel better and the song sort of reflected on how he was feeling at the moment.
Suddenly, a small, blue duck like pokemon with a lilypad on top of its body jumped out of the lake and landed near Jon’s feet. Jon instantly knew that the pokemon was a Lotad, he looked at it for a couple of seconds then he called Cluff over. He was going to catch it.
“Cluff. Water gun attack!” yelled Jon and a gush of water flew out of Cluff’s mouth, but Lotad simply countered the attack by squirting water at the same time.
“Cluff, Ice Beam!” cried Jon and instantly a white, cold beam shot out of Cluff’s mouth, unfortunately the Lotad sucessfully dodged the attack and the ice beam struck the river causing it to freeze over.
“Cluff!” Jon yelled in a pissed off way. “Why are your attacks not hitting the Lotad?”
“Clu.Clu.” replied Cluff sadly and Jon took pity on Cluff, it wasn’t Cluff’s fault that the attacks kept missing the Lotad. Jon thought to himself:
Water gun and ice beam don’t seem to be working on the Lotad, I can’t command Cluff to use thundershock as it’s too powerful. Wait a sec, there is one more attack I can command Cluff to use!
“Cluff, gust attack!” screamed Jon and at that moment a gust of wind flew out Cluff’s mouth and headed straight towards Lotad. The gust attack was so powerful that it managed to topple over the Lotad and Jon noticed that it was on its lilypad struggling to get up.
Jon reached for his belt and grabbed a Pokeball, he tossed it into the air and then he threw it at the Lotad. His heart beated faster as the Pokeball flew towards Lotad. As the ball struck the Lotad, Jon couldn’t help but feel sorry for the pokemon. It was then sucked into the pokeball and then the ball thumped against the ground. Each wobble was followed by Jon’s pounding heart so he held his hand against his chest hoping he could stop the loud thumping that sounded like a herd of Donphan. Then he heard a ping and he leapt with joy, he started to hug Cluff with all his might because he had caught a pokemon.
He walked towards the Pokeball and picked it up, he started to spin it and then he clipped it on his belt. He then returned Cluff to his pokeball and started walking back to the site where he, Leah and Annie had set up camp. He was going to apologise to Leah even though he didn’t want to but if Leah was ever going to forgive him he would have to apologise and hopefully she would apologise to him for verbally abusing him and slapping him.
*
Meanwhile, Leah was still feeling miserable after her ordeal with Jon and was trying to cheer herself up by reading the rest of Lapras Valley High but it was no good. Jon had run off and the chances of him coming back were slim because her shouting and slapping had really upset him. Annie was still filming her surrounding for her documentry so Leah decided to put her book away and go to sleep.
Suddenly Leah heard a scream, it was Annie and Leah knew that if Annie was screaming then she was in trouble so she rushed out of her tent to see what the problem was when she heard a gun **** and when she looked up, she saw evil itself.
The person was a tall woman with short blond hair, bright green eyes that were like a cat on a very dark night and she had a smile that showed her glistering white teeth. She wore a bright blue short sleeved top, black leather trousers that were a bit short and blood red high heeled shoes. Leah didn’t have the faintest idea who this woman was but all was going to be revealed.
“Hello Miss Nium.” Said the woman in a posh voice. “Let me introduce myself, I’m..”
“How the hell do you know my name?” snapped Leah who wasn’t pleased at the fact that she had a gun pressing against her temple and she couldn’t do anything about it because she would get shot.
“I have my sources.” Replied the woman. “Now let me introduced myself, I am Persephone Esme Dussane but you may call me Madame Dussane because that is what I prefer to be called.”
“What do you want?” asked Leah. “And where is Annie?”
“What do I want? I want you to tell me where the beauty stone is.” Replied Madame Dussane. “If you don’t, then your little friend Annie will get her brains blown out by my helper Lemony.”
Leah looked around and she saw Annie tied up and a bald man with a long nose waiting to shoot her if Leah didn’t tell the wicked ***** of the west where the beauty stone.
“Look Dussane, I don’t know where the beauty stone.” Replied Leah. “That’s why I’m in Reke, to try and find it!”
“LIAR!” yelled Madame Dussane. “You have five minutes to tell the location of the Beauty stone or you and your friend get it!”
Leah looked at Madame Dussane and then she looked at Annie, she knew that if she didn’t tell Madame Dussane the location of the Beauty Stone she and Annie would be dead ducks. I could lie she thought. But Madame Dussane doesn’t seem stupid so I better keep quiet.
While this was all happening, Jon was still walking the path (he had stopped for a quick rest) with the thoughts of what would happen when Leah saw him and he was thinking of what to say to her:
“Leah, I’m sorry for being a complete bastard...no that won’t make things better, Leah I’m sorry for Cluff thundershocking you…that sounds great!”
Suddenly he heard a scream, Jon didn’t know who the scream belong to but he guesed that Leah and Annie were in trouble so he ran back to where Leah and Annie had set camp.
As he approached the camp site, he saw that Leah had a gun to her temple with some woman with short blonde hair who he didn’t recognize while Annie was tied up near a tree and a bald man with a long nose waiting to shoot the poor girl with his handgun. Jon didn’t his new friends to die so he was going to do something that he had never done before…rescue them.
Jon released Cluff and Lotad and quietly told them his plan which he hoped was foolproof:
“ We first attack the bald guy, Cluff will then freeze his hands using his ice beam attack so he can’t attempt to shoot us, then Lotad will cause a distraction by jumping on the blonde lady’s head. I will be untying Annie and then I’ll rescue Leah by using my knife.”
Cluff looked at Lotad in uncertainity but they had to listen to their master otherwise the girls would be dead if they didn’t abide by the plan. It was a risky plan but they had to take a chance.
Jon sneaked past Madame Dussane and Leah was surprised to see him. He gave a look to tell her not to worry (although Leah did worry) and he hid behind the tree where Annie was tied up.
Jon quietly sent Cluff out to try and get the bald man’s attention. As Cluff floated towards the bald man Jon used his ventriloquist skills to try and fool him.
“Hey Big nose!” said Jon using his ventriloquest skills. “Come here and shoot me or are you too chicken to do do?”
Now nobody likes to be insulted and the bald man wasn’t going to take any **** from a talking pokemon even if was one he had never seen before and that it could talk. He reached for his gun and was about to pull the trigger when…
“Cluff, ice beam!”
At that moment, a white, cold beam shot out of Cluff’s mouth and struck the hands of the bald man, the bald man screamed as his hand were as frozen as a lake on a cold winter’s day and there was he could do about it. Jon went up to Annie and cut the ropes using his knife.
“Thanks.” Said Annie. “But what are we going to do about big nose over there?”
“No problemo.” Replied Jon and he pushed the bald man and he fell with a thud onto the ground. “ There, problem solved now where’s Leah?”
“She with me, you complete idiot!” yelled a voice and Jon and Annie turned to see Leah being held by her scruff by Madame Dussane.
“Leave her alone you *****!” yelled Jon quoting a line from Alien. “Or you’ll have a knife to your heart!”
“Is that so?” replied Madame Dussane. “Well do you want your friend to be a dead corpse?”
At that moment, Madame Dussane threw Leah onto the floor, she then went to the side of her trouser belt and pulled out a dagger. The dagger had a bronze handle and the blade looked like it had recently been polished because Jon could see his reflection.
Jon looked at Madame Dussane then he drew out his knife, looking at Madame Dussane as if he about to start a sword fight. Suddenly Madame Dussane shouted:
“Engarde!”
Madame Dussane and Jon were engage in immense fighting, Madame Dussane managed to slash Jon’s arm and the pain was unbearable. Jon tried to knock the dagger out of her hand but Madame Dussane was such a good swordwoman that she knocked Jon’s knife out of his hand and kicked him in the stomach and he fell face down.
As Jon laid down on the ground holding his winded stomach, Madame Dussane walked across to him and she clutched the handle of her dagger tightly so that she didn’t drop it and was about to stab him when…
“AHHHHHH! GET THIS ****ING LOTAD OFF MY FACE!”
What had just happened was that Lotad had seen what was going to happen to his new trainer; Not wanting Jon to be killed, Lotad decided he would prevent Madame Dussane from stabbing Jon. He jumped onto Cluff and commanded it to fly towards Madame Dussane, Cluff wasn’t sure what Lotad was up to but he decided to help him so that Lotad could save his master. As they floated near Madame Dussane, Lotad jumped off Cluff and landed on Madame Dussane beautiful face.
Now that Madame Dussane was being covered by Lotad, Leah and Annie decided to release their pokemon so that they could help Lotad.
“Go Roselia!” yelled Annie and the graceful rose pokemon flew out of her pokeball like a ballerina.
“Go Vesta!” screamed Leah and the furious Vulpix jumped out of its pokeball and she snarled when she saw Madame Dussane.
“Vesta!” commanded Leah to her Vulpix. “if that ***** over there tries to attack me, Annie or Jon burn her to a crisp okay?”
“Vu, Vu!” yelped Vesta who was eager to attack Madame Dussane in any way possible.
“Roselia,” said Annie. “If that bald man tries to attack Jon in any way, use your Stun Spore to stop him in his tracks!”
“Roze, Roze!” replied Roselia in her sweet voice that was similar to a Clefairy.
Madame Dussane had managed to get Lotad off her face and had thrown him to a nearby bush. But as she removed him she saw the sight of an angry Vesta who looked like she was going to burn Madme Dussane to crisp as she had flames swirling around her eyes so Madame Dussane decided to hop it.
Meanwhile, the bald man had managed to break the ice that surrounded his hands and he grabbed his handgun and ran towards Jon. His hands held the gun tightly and his index finger was twitching, he was about to pull the trigger when he heard a “Roze!”, he turned around and he saw Roselia smiling at him. He was about to shoot her when a bright yellow powder shot out of Roselia’s roses and it sprinkled around the bald man, he tried to shoot Roselia but his finger had lost movement and he was starting to lose balance and so he collasped onto the ground.
Annie quickly returned Roselia and ran over to Jon, he had managed to stop the bleeding by using a towel that was in his pocket but he was still feeling winded so Annie decided to give him some medicence for his stomach. At first Jon spat it out but after his second helping he felt better and he was ready to tackle any problem.
Leah returned Vesta and ran towards Annie and Jon and said in a worried tone:
“Madame Dussane’s escaping!”
she was right, just as she said those very words Leah, Annie and Jon heard a motorcycle starting up. They all turned around to see Madame Dussane on a Harley Quinn motorcycle with the bald man slouched onto her back unable to move, she looked at all three and started to laugh. Her laugh sounded wheezy and hollow but worse of all it sounded cruel, after she stopped laughing she yelled:
“I’LL GET THE BEAUTY STONE AND MURDER YOU KIDS IF IT’S THE THING I DO!” and as she finishes her sentence, she drove off into the afternoon sun.
*
Leah, Annie and Jon looked at each other and started to cry, never before had any of them had faced an enemy like this and thanks to one another they had lived at least for another day.
“Er..Leah?” said Jon after he had wiped his tears off his sweaty face. “I’m sorry for Cluff thundershocking you, do you accept my apology?”
Leah looked at him and smiled, he went closer to him and replied:
“Apology accepted! Besides, if it hadn’t been for you rescueing us, Annie and I would be six feet under by now.” And then Leah kissed him on the cheek.
“Wha…what was that for?” asked Jon whose face was as red as a Groudon.
“That was a thankyou kiss from me.” Replied Leah with a smirk on her face. “Now let’s get going! We have to get to Arachne City before Eveining.”
The three of them started walking back to their tents, on the way Jon picked up Lotad from the bush and let him ride Cluff for the rest of the way. After dimantling their tents, Jon returned Cluff and Lotad to their pokeballs and gave Leah and Annie some crisps so they wouldn’t get hungry and they continued to walk out of the forest and they hoped that Arachne City would lead them closer to the stone.
Skin Deep
hmm...wel, it is a very big change from the rest of the chapters, improvement is definite. However, that Lady and her 'crony' seem rather ... cliche to me. Expineced woman gets fooled by three kids. Yes, that rings a bell. Little things like a 'duel' with a dagger and that WHOLE lyric sheet for JT seemed to be in for pure length. Oh well. Now i know the lyrics, i can ripp the piss from it
Its an improvement, but things like dimantling were noticed eisily. Work on it!
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*Chapter 37 up*
Posted September 22nd, 2013
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Skin Deep
Very good, Jon. I sense that Madame Dussane is going to be nominated for Best Villian or Most Psycotic Character next awards (most likely because I'll nominate her). Also, I loved your little remark about Jon and Cluff being like Tyler and Magmar, but I also feel sorry for Jon; what did he do to deserve such a bitter insult?
Keep up the good work! It's great to see stories with Ruby/Sapphire Pokémon in them! May the Force be with you!
Skin Deep
SM is right: I have to give you credit for using Advance Pokemon. I fidn i use loads in 'The Indigo Road', more than FRTC!
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Posted September 22nd, 2013
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Skin Deep
This fic has practically died down. Is it because the author didn't want to right anymore or what?
Skin Deep
Quick update, Chapter 6 of SD is almost complete and it's a good chapter because Annie's character changes slightly. here is a preview of the chapter.
Leah, Annie and Jon have finally arrived in Arachne City. the fact that the whole city including the gym leader Spider is obsessed with Arachnid (something that Annie fears) is bad enough, Spider has set them a task to capture a creature in order to receive a map piece plus a gym badge. What is the creature that Spider wants? Will Annie be able to confronts her fears and will Leah and Jon get stuck in a sticky situation?
Chapter 6: Spider's Web
Skin Deep
hehehe, that fic is really cool8)
keep it coming
Skin Deep
Wurmple? Heh
anyway, it seems you must be very busy, as I haven't seen a chappie here for ages. I'm confused how to pronounce it, is it 'ARA-K-NEH', because the spelling looks rather complicated. Maybe when they get there there could be a sign saying 'Arachne City - Two miles. (The H is silent)' hehe.
Keep it up!
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*Chapter 37 up*
Posted September 22nd, 2013
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Originally Posted by Gavin Luper
