the Kyuusaisha [Epi VI Jun 01] "The Nest of Un-Life"

[Greyfox]

Welcome all to my big summer blockbuster about a young trainer cursed with a metal arm. While metal arms aren't uncommon in the world of Pokemon nowadays, this kid's is special, it bares the mark of the Redeemer. What does it mean? You'll have to read on to find that out.

I've already written the first three chapters (including the prologue) and will post chapter two when I get four finished and continue in that manner. I'm not expecting a large audience just yet, this being the beginning and all, but I do particularly enjoy writing this one so you'll not have to worry about lack of updates.

It's mainly a trainer fic with a lot of philosophical elements in it. While it isn't as haphazard or as satirical as ...Blank Myn, it does have some humor in it. It's meant mainly to be a dark epic however, so don't lose faith just yet. Anyway, let's get on with the show,

-Grey

the Kyuusaisha

written by a. j. hawthorne

I

[justify]

The crowds went wild on this particular day. The darkened skies filled the abyss around the great Indigo Plateau stadium. It was indeed one hell of a match thus far. Two trainers stood at opposite ends of the field watching as their trained “beasts” fought against one another. The announcer boomed across the wave of screaming fans, just trying to compete with them, “This is definitely one hell of a match so far, folks,” he yelled aloud, “the challenger has already lost all of his Pokemon save for this last one, and the reigning champ still has one left in reserve.”

The announcer may have been a bit too harsh on the challenger however. His large steel serpent towered over the other trainer’s Sceptile, which was quite tired nonetheless. With one last squeeze, the evolved Onix, or “Steelix” moreover, managed to down his opponent before letting out a harsh cry of victory. Steelix unwound himself from his felled prey, and the green dragon collapsed in exhaustion. The champ smirked to himself before holding out a red and white-colored ball. In an instant, the Sceptile dematerialized into a collection of red energy just before being withdrawn into the ball.[/justify]

o0

in his shadow

[justify]The reigning champ was much older than he used to be; his jet black hair remained untamed beneath a red cap. The man was garbed in blue jeans and a black top, with a large leather belt holding the jeans up. Just before signaling for his last Pokemon to approach the center arena, the man gazed into the audience, scanning for the two persons he was really in this for. A few moments passed and he finally located them--a slim girl with blue eyes and orange-reddish hair that flowed down to her shoulders, and a three-year old child in the seat next to her; his wife and child.

Smirking to himself, the man swiftly jerked his baseball cap backwards, and signaled for the tiny yellow mouse that stood patiently next to him, battle hungry. It was only fitting for him to use his starter Pokemon to defeat the only obstacle in his way of becoming a champion once more, and on his retiring match, no less.

“Pika,” cried the tiny mouse as he made his way into the field, being harshly stared down by the towering steel serpent that stood before him.

The announcer was quite nerved by the thought, but alas the man seemed confident, “It would appear that the reigning champ has once again decided to go with Pikachu,” he announced, “can he win one more title with the tiny electric type?”

Whilst his adversary held a certain poise in his weak-looking Pokemon, Rode cried out to him, “If you think that worthless rat can take down ma Steelix, you’s got another thing comin!” His voice was rough, reminiscent of a bully from one of those after school dramas. With a rude tone in his expression, Rode commanded his Steelix, “Use your Earthquake attack, Steelix!”

The very large silver snake roared allowed, trying to intimidate the rodent before attacking, but alas the tiny Pikachu looked to be much smarter than he had anticipated. The older trainer readied his strategy, “Pikachu, use Quick Attack and scale Steelix’s body. Then, use Thunderbolt!”

Ready fully, the overly dramatic Steelix slammed downwards causing quite a stir on the arena floor, but there was no one to target as the smaller Pikachu climbed up the large snake’s metallic hide. Steelix looked around with a confused look upon his stony features, trying to locate his adversary. Unfortunate, he wasn’t able to do so as the Pikachu reached the top of the massive behemoth’s stair-like body and released a fully charged Thunderbolt. Brilliant flashes of yellow light emerged from the tiny mouse, bringing great pain the massive behemoth. The crowds roared in excitement, there was no chance that the announcer’s words would be heard, so he just elected to stop relaying to them what they themselves already saw. He merely stared in awe, amazed that Steelix was even alive after such a brutal attack.

Rode’s further banter was quite appalling, “You gonna take ‘dat, Steelix,” he shouted loudly, “quickly slam ‘dat rodent to ‘da ground!”

Shaking off the unwanted felling of shock, Steelix proceeded to allow himself to fall, hopefully to land on the aforementioned yellow rodent. Not even having to be given an order from his trainer, the Pikachu quickly leapt from Steelix’s rapid thrust downwards, squealing out, “PIKA!”

As the large metal snake crashed upon the Indigo arena floor, a cloud of smoke lifted into the field before slowly dissipating into the air. Steelix tried valiantly to pull himself back up, and Pikachu stood upon the opposite end with a mischievous smirk upon his features, “Pikachu.”

“Excellent work, Pikachu,” said his trainer, “now finish him off with Thunder!”

Knowing full well that Steelix couldn’t possibly get up in time to avoid the massive spell, Pikachu took a few moments to charge up a great amount of electricity within his red cheeks. His eyes were slammed shut, concentrating heavily on the grand display that would inevitably follow. When he was confident that the blow would be enough to fell the massive titan, Pikachu stopped charging and opened his eyes. The small yellow rodent ran towards the larger, who was still trying to pull himself up, and stopped just a few inches in front of him. With a roaring voice, Pikachu cried out, “Pika…CHU!”

The arena once again lit up as Pikachu’s entire body erupted in a massive storm of electric energy. The Steelix cried out in pain as the thunderous spell enveloped his metallic figure. A few seconds would pass, and Steelix just couldn’t take the pain anymore and closed his eyes, obviously defeated. Pikachu sensed his enemy’s fall, and stopped his assault.

The referee ran over to the felled behemoth, blowing his whistle loudly, “Steelix is unable to battle. Pikachu is the winner.”

Once more, the crowds erupted into a sea of loud cheers. Rode pulled out his Pokemon’s black-colored Poke Ball, revealing with it his large metal arm in the process. His opponent made a note of it as Rode quickly withdrew his sixth fallen Pokemon.[/justify]

III

[justify]

An hour had passed, and no longer were there any people in the audience. They had all perhaps left to go on and do other things. Meanwhile, the retired champion walked alone in the hallways. All his life he wanted to be a trainer, and while his friends, his peers, left the adventure to go onto bigger and better things, he stayed behind, and trained harder and harder. His catalog of Pokemon only had six members; others were stolen from the professor’s laboratory a long time ago in a hellish robbery, thus leaving him with the ones that he fought with tonight. And now he was retired. He walked away from the game with three championships on his mantle, including this one.

He wandered through the halls until he met two smiling faces. He couldn’t help but give them the same gesture as he walked over to them. The older red head said to her husband, “You did good, hon.”

His three-year old son, his name was Hawthorne, he hobbled over to his father with a great flashy smile upon his face, “You did it, Daddy!”

However, those three weren’t the only ones in the hall that night, no-no. Rode wandered over to his defeater, with an unusual smile upon his face. The champion turned to face him, “Yes?”

“That was a great battle,” he said, extending his metal hand to the father, “no hard feelings?”

He couldn’t help but smile back as he too offered his hand, “No problem, Rode,” he said.

As the father took the challenger’s hand, you couldn’t help but note the eerie smile placed upon the man’s features. It was if he had lost his mind. Sure enough, he had. When he noticed that the person who defeated him had his hand secure, Rode jerked away and the arm stuck. Rode quickly ran away as the trio stared with confused looks upon their faces. It wasn’t until a few seconds later that they heard the constant ticking coming from Rode’s metal arm, tick, tick, tick.

The father tried desperately to toss the arm away, but when he couldn’t, he signaled for his wife to guard the child they two shared protectively. The red-haired woman stared at her husband with several tears on her face until a massive blast enveloped the hallway.[/justify]

VI

[justify]Or at least, that’s what they said. “No hard feelings?” My ass. My name is Hawthorne, and I lost my father that night, twelve years ago. I am fifteen years old now, and I so desperately want to find the man to took his life away. Not only did he take my father from me, he also took my arm. So desperately my mother tried to shield me from the inevitable destruction, but she couldn’t all the way. My right arm disappeared that night, vaporized by the explosion; or at least that’s what they said.

I’m going on a journey tomorrow. I want to follow in my father’s dream, to carry out his spirit, but I don’t want to be remembered as, “His son.”

That’s why I’m dropping the surname. My name is Hawthorne, and that is what I’ll be remembered as… not… “His son.”[/justify]

[Greyfox]

I

I awoke this morning to a particularly unbroken beeping noise coming from my alarm clock. Pikachu was lazily nesting on my chest, so I patted him on his head to signal him to wake up, “Pika,” the yellow rodent perched, looking around my bedroom before leaping onto the carpeted floor. With Pikachu no longer keeping me there, I freely stepped out of my comfortable bed and rubbed my eyes to greet the bedroom walls. With a swift motion, I turned the alarm clock off and thus the annoying beeps subsided.

Yawning deeply, my thoughts began to return as I remembered what today was. Today was the day when I’d start my journey all around Kanto. While I wouldn’t be getting a starter Pokemon like the richer kids in the bigger cities, I made sure that I wouldn’t be going alone. Pallet Town wasn’t the starting town anymore for aspiring trainers, no-no. Ever since Oak’s laboratory got robbed of all the Pokemon, the officials closed down his lab and relocated the him to Saffron City, the most affluent town in this region.

But like I said, I wouldn’t be going this journey alone, no-no. Mother insisted that I take her old Pokemon with me, Starmie. Starmie was no doubt a strong fighter, certainly stronger than what the other kids were starting out with. I believe they received Charmander, Bulbasaur, or Squirtle nowadays. Regardless, I anxiously opened my closet door and pulled from their hangers a black sleeveless shirt and matching slacks. Pulling the clothes on, I stepped out of my bedroom and greeted Mother.

She was depressed, no doubt. Ever since Father’s death, her cheerfulness was replaced with anguish. Though she tried to hide it from me, I could tell that she wasn’t at peace with herself. Her beautiful eyes of cerulean shade grew dull and listless day after day, almost as if she wanted to go with Father when he died.

“Morning, Hawthorne,” she said to me with a smile.

“You too, Mother,” I replied to her, hiding my anxiousness with a calm tone. Certainly, she knew I was faking it. The poor woman had to listen to me talk about this journey for months now.

“Pika, pika,” said Pikachu, with an annoyed expression on his face.

“Well good morning to you too, Pikachu,” Mother said to him. With her refreshing words, Pikachu’s solemn grimace was quickly replaced with a jovial smirk.

We weren’t a well-off family by any means. Mother and I were struggling, using the earnings that Father won as prize money to keep us healthy. Occasionally, Mother would find odd jobs to work just to keep the currency flow up to par, but she just couldn’t handle it without Father.

01
the journey begins

I ate a great breakfast, mostly because it would be the best meal I would have in a long while. Fully nourished, I reached for my back pack with my right arm and just stared openly at it. When the blast took my arm twelve years ago, the doctors replaced it with a prosthetic one. That served its purpose for the year, then each sequential year I had a new one to replace it as I grew up until just recently. When I finally stopped growing, Mother elected for an arm more suiting for my persona--a fully metallic one. A few days later, a strange man rapped at our door with the metal arm; he said he was here to install it. The process of the installation was very painful; he had to attack my every nerve to it, thus allowing me to use it as swiftly as a regular arm.

I didn’t particularly like having any fake arm whatsoever; the constant reminder of his death lingered through the metallic shine of my unreal appendage, but at least I could keep the metal arm hidden, and I intended to. I grabbed the particularly long black cloak off it’s hanger, and slid it over my shoulders. I pulled my left arm through it’s proper sleeve, and left the right arm hanging within, keeping it concealed from the world.

Mother walked over to me with the red and white colored Poke Ball in her hand. I could sense the tears that would inevitably fall from her eyes when I stepped out that door, but as usual, she kept her emotions hidden, “Here you go, hon,” she said as she handed over to me the small, marble-sized ball.

“Thanks,” I said to her before a brief pause. I turned to the door, but before opening it, a stinging sense of guilt came over mine senses, “You know, Mother,” I said to her, “I don’t have to go on this journey… if you don’t want me to.”

“Nonsense,” she said to me. I knew that at this point her eyes were beginning to tear up, “this is your dream. Your father would be proud of you.”

I never really got the chance to really know Father that well. He was a great trainer, sure. But other than that, all my memories of him were a haze. He sure was tall though. I always remembered him towering over me, and even though I was probably taller than he was way back then, I still couldn’t picture him being shorter than me.

“Are… are you certain,” I asked her, turning to face Mother as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Yes,” she replied, “your father always wanted you to follow in his footsteps.”

“Y-yeah…”

I didn’t waste any time before wrapping my arms around her. She did the same as she sobbed into my black coat. Our embrace was tight, and I almost didn’t want to let go. I stood taller than Mother over the past few years, almost six inches in fact. We continued the embrace for a few minutes until a particular rapping at our front door interrupted us.

Pulling apart, Mother quickly wiped the tears away and answered the door. With a surprised look upon her face, she greeted the older fellow at the door, “Can I help you?”

“Yes,” said the older man, “when I was walking home one evening I stumbled upon this Poke Ball,” he informed her, showing her the particular red and white-colored Poke Ball in his hands, “I wanted to see what Pokemon was inside, and found out that a trainer at this address used to have one just like it.”

“A trainer… at this address?”

“Indeed,” affirmed the old man. He then proceeded to summon the Pokemon from its Poke Ball. A white flash of light, and a Pokemon, familiar to Mother it seemed, emerged from it.

“That’s…” Her words were silent, but I knew what she said. The mysterious part was why she said them. No doubt was the Pokemon familiar to her, perhaps it belonged to her when she was a little girl.

“Heracross,” cried the stag beetle Pokemon. Stag beetle? That couldn’t be right. Mother hated bugs, especially big ones like Heracross. My thoughts were interrupted as the aforementioned stag beetle walked over to me and wrapped his tiny arms around my legs.

“Why… is he doing this,” I asked anyone.

“You must remind him of your father,” Mother explained.

“Father? Is that who this Pokemon belonged to?”

Mother simply nodded, “He was stolen from the professor’s laboratory before he passed away.”

“He died,” the old man queried.

“Yes,” Mother said to him, “he was murdered twelve years ago.”

Obviously Mother wasn’t too keen on delving further into the subject, so I politely said good-bye to the kind stranger and slammed shut the door. No doubt he was puzzled, but I’m sure he just headed back home. Heracross continued to hold my legs tightly. “I think he likes me,” I said to Mother in hopes to ease the quiet pain looming inside her.

“I think you should take him with you, Hawthorne,” she said, “he seems to be quite attached to you.”

“Yeah,” I replied, taking the bug’s Poke Ball and promptly returning it, “I will.”

Mother proceeded in handing me the shiny red Pokedex that once belonged to Father, requesting only that I take good care of it… for obvious reasons.

“If you need me for any reason, Mother,” I said to her, “please call; no matter what I’m doing, I’ll come back to Pallet Town immediately.”

III

Hours had passed, and I had finally stepped out of the borders of Pallet Town. My journey had officially began. The first stop would be Viridian City, where I would battle with the Gym Leader and gain my first badge.

The Pokemon League was much different than it was when Father walked Kanto. For starters, Lavender Town opened a Gym which had a required badge. I’m not certain what type of Pokemon the Gym Leader used, but I was pretty sure it had something to do with ghosts. Because of its mass, Saffron City now housed two official gyms--the Spirit Gym and the Soul Gym (which had recently swapped names with the Marsh Gym of Fuchsia). Viridian City was no longer helmed by Giovanni; once the league found out about his ties with the infamous Team Rocket, they promptly had him sign a waiver of resignation. He and Team Rocket haven’t been heard from since then. Many of the Gym Leaders left their duties shortly after they heard about what happened to Father, which was a shame because they were very good at battling.

I took a refreshing sigh as the bright summer sun bathed my pale flesh. It was mid-afternoon, and I still had quite a ways to go before I’d reach Viridian City. I decided to call out Mother’s old Pokemon, Starmie. Pulling the small Poke Ball from my belt, I pressed the button at the center and it quickly grew to the size of my palm. I tossed the ball to the grassy floor and the purple starfish hovered in the air, dancing seemingly.

“Hya,” the starfish cried out.

“Hello, Starmie,” I said to him. Starmie is a peculiar Pokemon that doesn’t have a gender, so I just went go with the neutral sex and called him a “he”.

Starmie was loyal to Mother, so when she requested the he go with me on my journey, he happily obliged. And while I didn’t get a free Pokemon from one of those professors, I was still pretty lucky. Only half a day in my travels, and I already had two strong looking Pokemon. No Charmander, Bulbasaur, or Squirtle could compare to Starmie and Heracross.

While I wandered aimlessly through the roads, Starmie hovered beside me, spraying various different trees and bushes with his Water Gun as I instructed. I was trying to measure Starmie’s strength; it would seem that all his years of being with Mother had made him quite the powerful Pokemon.

As the hot summer sun beat down on my features, I calmly requested that Starmie throw a Water Gun in my direction. He gave me a funny look, or well, as funny a look that a starfish could give, but then proceeded to do so lightly when I asked him again. The cool, refreshing water felt good on my skin, and we continued our trek down route one.

I began to worry about Mother. I hoped that she wouldn’t be lonely without me being there with her. Of course not… she had Pikachu at the very least. Even Mimey was there to help around the house. I neglected to mention; my family inherited a Mr. Mime appropriately named “Mimey” from my late grandmother. He was well-trained and enjoyed doing house work. I’m not sure why that was, though.

As my uncertainties soon became pacified, I continued my trek and Starmie followed behind. A few steps forward and my eyes slowly turned to face something off beat in the bushes. The shade of green that caught my eyes didn’t seem to match the shade of green emitted from the aforementioned bush. I walked closer to the strange occurrence, but accidentally stepped on a twig which made an unsettling snapping sound. A creature emerged from the bush with a frightened look about him.

A Pokemon, I thought to myself. I drew out the shiny red Pokedex and scanned the unfamiliar creature.

The electronic voice greeted me, “Treecko, the wood gecko Pokemon,” it explained, “using it’s strong tail, Treecko commonly pounds his attackers into submission.”

‘What’s a Treecko doing all the way out here in Kanto,’ I thought to myself, remembering from my biology classes that Treecko was native to the Hoenn region. But rather than fumble on the very thought, I turned to Starmie who seemed to be ready for a battle regardless. I nodded to him, and he readied himself to attack.

“Starmie, use Water Gun!” Albeit water attacks weren’t very effective on a grass type, I was confident in Starmie’s strength. The purple starfish Pokemon cried out as he volleyed a concentrated beam of water towards the tinier grass element.

“Treecko,” he cried out as the water crashed into his torso. Pulling himself back up, the Treecko angrily ran over to Starmie, pounding him with his large dark green tail.

Puzzled, I gazed at the Pokedex, scanning through the encyclopedia to see what other attacks my Starmie had learnt over the past few years. I searched through the different pages until I found one that looked pretty useful, “Starmie, use Rapid Spin!”

“Hya,” Starmie cried out as he spun over to the Treecko with impeccable speed. Each of his many fins slapped the gecko repeatedly until Treecko fell to the ground, defeated.

“Great work, Starmie,” I praised the Pokemon whilst digging through my back pack for a vacant Poke Ball. Finally finding one, I drew it out and closed my eyes, hoping that my first catch would go over smoothly. With a swift motion, I hurled the ball over to the felled Pokemon, “Poke Ball, go!” The ball sailed through the air and slapped Treecko in the side before opening up and dematerializing him into solidified energy. The red energy was absorbed into the Poke Ball just before closing, and it shook once, twice, three times… then stopped. The red light flashing on the center button faded away, signifying that the Pokemon was caught.

With a great smirk upon my features, I ran over the Poke Ball and held it up high with my right hand, “I caught my first Pokemon!”

The excitement finally eased, and I called out the tiny gecko Pokemon so I could cure him with some healing spray. Treecko opened his eyes and greeted me with an uneasy smirk. I sprayed him with the spray, and in a few moments his wounds were fully refreshed. Amazed, the Treecko cried out, “Treecko!”

I summoned Heracross so that my three Pokemon could get to know one another; all three of them seemed to enjoy each other’s company. I let them all remain outside of their Poke Balls, and we walked, hovered, or flew through routes one and two together.


So, what'd you think? Good, crap? Whatever you think, just say it.

What's up next:
-Battles
-A few abandoned Pokemon
-More training

-Grey

[Greyfox]

A lot of people read the first two posts, which intrigues me; unfortunately, no one replied, but that was expected considering how new this series is. No matter. With that said, let's get on with episode two,

-Grey

I

We finally made it--the vast city of Viridian stood peacefully, almost as if it were waiting for a young trainer and his collection of misfit Pokemon to enter its beautiful city gate. Treecko was peacefully napping upon my shoulder, so I didn’t disturb him, but Heracross certainly enjoyed to see the city, probably more than me. Starmie on the other hand, well, no one could tell what he was thinking.

The blazing sun said its final goodbyes before plunging into the abyss as the crescent moon slowly took its place. A sea of mixed purples and oranges engulfed the dusky sky above. No doubt were we all tired, anxiously looking for the Pokemon Center so that we could finally rest our aching appendages. Sure, I wanted nothing more than to fight the Gym Leader and take his badge, but going in tonight would be suicide.

As the refreshing winds brushed against our tired features, we finally spotted a dimly lit sign baring the words, “Pokemon Center”. With great smirks upon our faces (well, save for Starmie who doesn’t show emotion), we each ran over to the large hospital-like building and the glass doors at the entrance slid open. Somehow, Treecko still managed to hold on and sleep when we got there.

The inside of the center was surprising cool. The air conditioning must’ve been working overtime, I noted. Treecko awoke from his light nap and quickly leapt to the tiled floor below. I pulled his and the two other Poke Balls from my belt and quickly withdrew them to their respected Poke Balls before handing them to the cheerful pink-haired nurse at the counter.

“Hi,” I said to her, “my name is Hawthorne. Could you take a look at my Pokemon for me?”

As if on cue, the kind nurse smiled and replied merrily, “Of course. I’ll have them refreshed by morning. Do you need a room for the night?”

“Yes, please,” I replied. The Pokemon Center was great for this sort of thing. They were always willing to hand out rooms for aspiring trainers whenever they journeyed. The kind nurse handed me a key, and pointed me in the direction of the room.

02
viridian city

I lied in the small cot with my eyes wide awake. Surely there was no way I could actually sleep tonight. The very thought of how I was going to beat the Gym Leader tomorrow was lingering through my head. What Pokemon I was going to use, what strategies and the like. I could hear my heart pounding against my chest like a machine gun in one of those war movies I used to watch when I was little.

The earth-based trainer, I heard, was very strong. He liked to use ground and rock types, and albeit Treecko was very strong against both elements, I don’t think he would fare well against them. No doubt his Pokemon were more heavily trained. Perhaps Heracross and Starmie would do the job just as well.

I continued to lie down in my uncomfortable cot, trying to bore myself to sleep by counting the number of grain in the ceiling. One, two, three, I counted silently in my head. In the back of my head, even further back than my subconscious counting, I thought to myself, ‘Surely the monotony of such an activity will at least bore me to sleep.’

At least, that’s what I thought. As the morning sun finally crawled away from the horizon, I still lied on the uncomfortable cot counting with an annoyed expression on my face, “One million, two hundred and fifty-six thousand, five hundred and thirteen, one million, two hundred and fifty-six thousand, five hundred and fourteen, one million, two hundred and fifty-six thousand, five hundred and fifteen, one million…”

Okay, it obviously wasn’t that big a number, I mean, it’s not even possible to count to one million in my lifetime, let alone one million plus two hundred and fifty-six thousand, five hundred and xteen in just six hours. The real number was about twenty-thousand or so, but that’s not the point. The point is, I lied there with a dull expression on my face. I didn’t get the sleep I needed because I was anxious for the tomorrow to come so that I could fight against the Gym Leader. No less, now I’m completely tired and I cannot sleep because of the anxiety for the aforementioned Gym Leader.

Oi. This was going to be a long day.

Thinking that the day couldn’t possibly be as bad as I thought it to be, I pulled myself away from the uncomfortable cot in the Pokemon Center, and groggily wandered through the hall towards the front counter. A similar nurse greeted me with a bright flashy smile, “Hello, sir,” she said to me. I guess because I hadn’t offered her my name, “sir” would have to do.

“Hello, miss,” I replied to her, “I had deposited three Pokemon here.”

“Okay,” she replied; her gallant smile was still very much there, “which ones were yours?”

“I had a Heracross, a Starmie, and a Treecko,” I listed off.

“Oh yes,” she said with a cheery tone, “they were quite well-behaved.” She took a few moments to retrieve the three Poke Balls from the back room before handing them over to me, “Thank-you, sir,” she greeted once more, “we hope to see you again!”

It was highly doubtful that I would indeed see this nurse again. Once I got the badge, I was departing, no question about it. However, to give the nurse some hope, I said to her, “Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll be back.”

III

The sun was barely shining, just inches above the mountains in the horizon. I wandered through Viridian City with my three Pokemon remaining sound in their respective Poke Balls. The city wasn’t exactly bustling with much activity, it was only a few hours past dawn, after all. The cool winds of the untainted morning brushed against my worn features, but I tried desperately not to think about sleep until I at least had the Earth Badge in my hands.

I came up to the particularly intimidating building which had a sign which read, “VIRIDIAN CITY GYM”. Sighing loudly to ease my nervousness, I opened the glass door and stepped into the gym. Inside, it was much cooler with the air conditioning blowing harshly. To be honest, I was quite surprised that the gym was even open at this hour.

Regardless, I wandered past the lobby where a vacant reception desk stood, and ventured through the long and daunting hallway. It took me a few moments to reach the end, and when I did I was greeted by a very large arena that looked like it actually took place outdoors… had it not been surrounded by four walls and a roof, of course.

“Hello,” I said aloud, not realizing that my loud voice would be reverberated throughout the arena. As the loud echoes lingered throughout the gym floor, I doubled back in embarrassment. Luckily, the only person in the gym presently was the leader. He stepped out of his office which was on the left side of the arena floor and looked at me in a daze.

He didn’t look very threatening, not at all. He was a thin man actually, in his mid-twenties, I‘d say. He was wearing brown slacks and a white button-up shirt. His hair was very short and brown, barely covering his forehead. His eyes were covered by a pair of stylish glasses; the gym leader said to me, “Can I help you?”

I clenched my fist to let him know that I meant business, “Yes. My name is Hawthorne from Pallet Town, and I challenge you to a battle.”

“Hawthorne, eh,” he mused, “I’ve heard of you before. My name is Comar--the Viridian City Gym Leader. If you want a battle, then I’ll give you one. But I’ve got to warn you though,” he paused for effect, “my Pokemon are pretty strong.”

Needless to say, I was not intimidated by Comer’s attempts to sound tough. “What are your terms,” I asked him, ignoring his arrogant retort.

“The battle will be two-on-two, Hawthorne,” he replied, gripping onto a small black colored Poke Ball. With a swift motion, he tossed the said Poke Ball onto the arena floor, opening up to a bright white flash, “I choose Rhyhorn!” An unusually large rhinoceros-looking Pokemon emerged; his hide was a light gray hue, almost as if it was completely made of stone.

I stared down the Pokemon trying to scan for any signs of weakness before choosing my first battler. When I was confident, I pulled a small Poke Ball from my belt and tossed it into the field, “Heracross, you’re up!”

In a small burst of energy, my blue stag beetle emerged from inside his Poke Ball and elected a fighter’s stance. My opponent’s Rhyhorn didn’t even look afraid as he snorted loudly, digging at the ground with his right fore-hoof like a bull did when it was ready to attack.

Comar smirked to himself as he shouted out his first attack, “Rhyhorn, use Sword’s Dance!”

Albeit he was much slower, Rhyhorn merely closed his eyes crying out loudly. A red aura enveloped the stone rhinoceros as he continued to dig at the ground below with his hoof. I didn’t know what he was doing, but it gave Heracross an open chance for attack.

“Heracross,” I called out to him with a confidence inhibiting my tone, “use your Seismic Toss!”

“Hera!,” he shrilled as he hovered over to the massive behemoth who appeared to be doing nothing. With a great surge of energy, Heracross lifted up the Rhyhorn somehow and used his tiny bug-like wings to climb into the air as high as he could (which wasn’t that high). A few feet off the ground, amazingly, Heracross dropped the heavy burden. As Comar’s Rhyhorn fell to the ground below, I felt a slight tremor. Rhyhorn looked annoyed, not harmed at all.

“Rhyhorn, use Take Down!”

With much ferocity and much more intensity, Rhyhorn charged over to my smaller insect. Heracross stared in awestruck as the earth titan plowed into him with much force. My poor Pokemon got trounced over without even so much of a warning. With my pity, I held up his Poke Ball and promptly withdrew him from battle, pulling out Starmie’s shortly after.

“You’re not trying hard enough, kid,” Comar said to me, but I just ignored him as I tossed the small Poke Ball to the arena floor.

“Starmie, you’re up next!”

“Hya!” Emerging from the small red and white colored ball, he shouted energetically. Rhyhorn was just turning around in the meantime, glaring at me as if he had something to prove. Surely he would not be able to bring down two of my Pokemon; I mean especially if he’s weak to them both.

“Alright, Starmie,” I said calmly as I tried not to let my worries take over, “blast him with Water Gun!”

The purple starfish Pokemon properly obeyed, spitting from his top fin, which I presumed was the dominate one, a fine collection of water. The beam of liquefied steam shot through the air like a bullet from a gun, pummeling the large stony Rhyhorn. As I watched the concentrated beam strike mine adversary’s Pokemon, my self-assuredness began to fade away. Rhyhorn took the Water Gun attack fully, with no signs of drained health or fatigue whatsoever.

Comar merely smirked at me, with the glare from the lights whitening his lenses so much that I couldn’t see his eyes, “Don’t be too quick to take advantage of weaknesses, Hawthorne,” he said to me with a cocky tone, “Rhyhorn, use Megahorn.”

No quicker than the words escaped his mouth did the Rhyhorn obey, with his sharp horn that lied atop his head glowing an unusual shade of lime green. I couldn’t help but stare as the massive titan made his usual hasty rush towards my innocent starfish. With a valiant roar, the Rhyhorn stabbed forward with the aforesaid horn and poked through Starmie’s torso, thus knocking him to the ground.

“Starmie, are you okay,” I shouted to my Pokemon. He merely lied upon the ground motionless. I sighed, obviously defeated by just one of my opponent’s Pokemon against my two; pulling out the small red and white shaded Poke Ball, I promptly withdrew my starfish and turned away from my opponent.

“Rhyhorn, return,” the Gym Leader said as he held the black Poke Ball upwards. A solid beam of red shined upon the rhinoceros, dematerializing into a glob of energy before being sucked back into the ball. “It is clear to me that you haven’t been on your journey for very long, Hawthorne,” he said to me.

“You’re right,” I admitted. I was quite disappointed with myself, but for the wrong reasons. So I lost, big deal. The problem wasn’t so much that I lost… it was that I came here trying to battle an elite trainer without a clear background for myself. The fact that I battled a Gym Leader without battling other trainers prior to that was the real issue.

I left the Viridian City Gym with no looking back and remembered that Father didn’t win the Earth Badge on his second day of journeying either. He actually got the other seven badges first, and in my case, I should probably do the same; of course, replacing the number seven with the number nine.

So much I wanted to leave this town; the unruly stench of defeat loomed wherever I walked, and made me feel worse. But unfortunately, all but one of my Pokemon were out of commission and it would be unwise to do so at this point. The morning was nowhere near as fresh as it was when I battled Comar, an hour or so had passed. If I was lucky, I’d be able to quickly run into the Pokemon Center and drop off my Pokemon and then leave in a few hours.

I yawned loudly, thus deterring my initial intent. I should play it safe and get some rest myself, I thought. Without the anxiety of facing a Gym Leader swimming through my thoughts ever so often, a good three or four hour nap wouldn’t be so farfetched.

IV

A few hours had passed and the sun was now beaming down on me from outside the window of my room. It clung high into the cerulean skies, nightfall wouldn’t be coming for a good while, I presumed. Wide awake, I decided to take a walk, keeping my bag in the room because I wouldn’t think I’d need it.

I wandered around the surprisingly inactive city for a few minutes before I was met with a younger fellow; he looked immature, about six or seven years old with a yellow and black striped t-shirt with a matching cap. He had several messy strands of brown hair protruding from the baseball cap and his features looked quite annoying. He ran up to me, perhaps noticing my solitaire Poke Ball on my belt (the other two were still with the Pokemon Center), “You’re a trainer!?”

I stopped my movement and sighed, “Yes, I am.”

“Then I challenge you to a battle,” he said, therefore proving my first theory. Obviously my reply didn’t matter because before I could even open my mouth he pulled from his red backpack two red and white colored Poke Balls and slammed them to the ground, “Go Squirtle and Caterpie!”

Out of the two Poke Balls came a plump, yet tiny, turtle Pokemon with a long tail that looked like it belonged on a squirrel. Various parts of his scaly hide had darker blue markings than the aquamarine that enveloped the majority of him; next to the turtle was a ridiculously large caterpillar who didn’t seem to have any fight in him whatsoever.

“But I only have…” I paused and thought for just a moment. Sure, he was going to have an advantage, but at his age, I doubt he was mature enough to know a lot about Pokemon battling. Going against my morals, I pulled out Treecko’s Poke Ball and tossed it to the ground with little effort, “I choose Treecko!”

No doubt the Caterpie was the only Pokemon this kid could capture, and Squirtle, while he could pose as a threat, I wasn’t too worried about either given Treecko’s distinct elemental advantage. Regardless, I signaled for my incommodious antagonist to go first. Thinking that I was granting him a favor in doing so, the young boy gladly obliged.

“Caterpie, use Hyper Beam,” the young child said with a little too much excitement.

Caterpie blinked.

“Caterpie… HYPER BEAM!!”

Caterpie blinked… again.

“Why aren’t you listening to me!?”

It was quite apparent that this kid had no idea how to train bug Pokemon. It was also quite appealing to me knowing that I was correct in allowing Treecko alone to battle against both the Squirtle and the Caterpie. Whilst the young yellow-clad boy stomped his foot to let his Pokemon know “whose boss”, I took advantage of the situation thoroughly.

“Treecko, use Pound; target Squirtle!” My commands were obviously much more domineering than the nameless kid who didn’t even know which attacks his Caterpie could learn. Here’s a hint: Hyper Beam’s not one of them.

I watched as my small gecko ran over to the tiny turtle who had yet to have been issued any commands; Treecko stopped and promptly turned to face me whilst blindly smacking the aquamarine turtle in his face. Squirtle, surprisingly exasperated, actually takes the hit as a cry for help. The newbie trainer wasn’t taking care of it. This is why I started my journey when I was fifteen and not seven.

“Oh you’re hopeless,” cried the previously mentioned seven-year old, tossing the two red and white colored Poke Balls to the ground below before storming off in an annoyed rage.

Did he just do what I think he did? Did he just… abandon two Pokemon that had the potential to be great ones if trained properly? Well, I say trained properly with the most lenience possible because it was highly unlikely that if they remained with this young trainer that they’d actually get the proper training required to be referred to as trained properly.

Not knowing what to do, I stared at the two Pokemon who had just been discarded by their spoiled trainer, saying to them, “Would you like me to take care of you?”

They nodded; well, Squirtle nodded, Caterpie just stood there staring blankly at what appeared to be a tree. As I took their forsaken Poke Balls, I noted that Caterpie was shooting off a vibrant white aura. Was she evolving, I thought to myself. The white light which had engulfed her began to reshape her completely. A few moments had passed and the white aura faded away, revealing her new form.

“Metapod,” she said monotonically.

Metapod, eh, I thought to myself as I pulled out the red shiny device that Mother gave to me the day before, “Metapod, the cocoon Pokemon,” informed the computer, “when a Caterpie is ready to turn into a butterfly, it wraps itself up in a silky String Shot, waiting a few days and then emerging as a Butterfree. Using its hard cocoon exterior, Caterpie is able to evolve freely without worry of predators.”

Interesting, I wondered thoughtfully before pointing the same red computer to the tiny turtle, “Squirtle, the tiny turtle Pokemon,” it informed, “using its hard shell, Squirtle often hides from harsh predators whenever threatened. It is never very violent until it evolves into Wartortle.”

Also interesting, I wondered still.

At this point Treecko was looking at me with a confused look in his eyes. Smirking to myself, I returned the two newcomers to my team to their respective Poke Balls and did the same for Treecko. Needless to say, I was in a good mood. Despite my utter defeat at the hands of Comar, I had met a strange and immature kid who demanded a battle. He of course didn’t know how to battle and stormed off, thus allowing me to coin two new Pokemon. His parents must be so proud.

I walked over the Pokemon Center and spoke to the kind nurse at the counter. Figuring that the new Squirtle I had picked up wasn’t in any serious pain, what, only taking one smack in the head by Treecko’s tail, I decided not to worry about him and just took Heracross’ and Starmie’s Poke Balls from her.

I placed the two Poke Balls on my belt, leaving room for just one more, and walked out of the refreshing Pokemon Center back out to the unruly hot day outside. It’s worse considering that I’m wearing a long black jacket that I refuse to take off because of the insecurities with my metal right arm. Plus, I don’t like being feared without good reason.

V

As I finally said my goodbyes to the unwelcoming city of Viridian, it had occurred to me that I didn’t give my two rookies a proper meeting with the vets. I instinctively pulled out the five Poke Balls with both hands, making sure of course that no one was around to spot the “scary metal arm”, and released them all into the field.

“Heracross and Starmie,” I said to the two larger Pokemon, “meet Squirtle and Metapod. The newest members of the team.”

They got along quite well. Squirtle and Treecko became quite chatty with one another, despite speaking in such a way that no one seemed to understand a thing the other was saying. The Pokemon language was very strange. Metapod stayed close to Squirtle being that he was the only one she had known for longer than five minutes. Heracross just stuck with me, and Starmie went over to the other three just to say “hello”, in some strange way.

What to Expect Later
-A Pinsir attacks (and damages) the metal arm
-Hawthorne meets a chick!
-More fun battling

[Darien Shields]

One Word: Pacing.

If you want people, other than yourself, to read this, then I'd advise a less... aggressive posting strategy. Let a few people read your first chapter before you post more. A lot of people find it daunting, and perhaps boring. *shrug*

I haven't managed to read it all yet, every time I look away there seems to be a new chapter

EDIT:

Okay, I read all the chapters up to this point... and some observations:

Everything seems... I dunno, sorta brief. It's weird. The pokemon don't seem to have much character, or at least, not that I can see (maybe you plan to highlight it later, but if so you've crammed so many pokemon in already that you've left yourself little space to develope them.) Maybe it's just me (seriously, maybe I am the only one who thinks this) but I think pokemon should all be treated as characters. Some may be minor characters, some will be major characters, many will be extras, but I think they should all be characters, and if they're your main character's pokemon, they should be major ones.

It's hard to really describe the vibe I get off this. It's... lonely. It's like, Hawthorne is the only person who exists, it reads like everything is his dream, and he wanders through a misty land, other characters and events surfacing and melting away rapidly, none of them treated with drama or importance. I think Comar should have said more. I think that kid should have said more too... I think everyone (else) should have said more, and many of the events should have been treated with more emphasis. Generally when I write I have some significant events that a chapter revolves around, and I try to make it obvious what those events are, and make it obvious just how important they are. From this, the gym battle or the getting the pokemon could be as important or unimportant as Hawthorne's lack of sleep.

You obviously have some talent, your writing style and descriptions are good (although a word of advice: Turn the Grammar Checker Off. The word is "lay" not "lied"), so you could really make something quite nice if you just added the proper stress to things. I like how Hawthorne is so imbittered towards the rich. (although really, I thought that he'd be quite well off. Ash was X-times champion, Misty's family had owned a gym, etc. etc... Considering how well Ash's mother lived despite being unattached and unemployed I'm confused by their apparant poverty.)

I hope there are more characters, and more exchanges between the characters, in chapters to come.

[Greyfox]

Darien Shields Yeah, I know. When I first posted this, I had already finished the first three chapters and was almost done with the fourth. The way I wanted to do this was to keep two chapters before I post another, and I didn't realize how much I had already gotten done on the fourth, so I figured that I'd just as well post the second chapter on the same day. It's no big deal really; I'll post the third chapter when I get the fifth chapter written (which I haven't even began to write), so it'll take some time. But thanks for replying with that advise, it really helps.

-Grey

[Greyfox]

I

I stared deeply into the morning sun as it rose steadily overhead. My five Pokemon had collectively lied down closely knit, perhaps still slumbering. Well, I could tell that the first four were sleeping, I didn’t have an idea what Starmie was up to, as I could never see his face. He kind of worried me sometimes, but Mother put a lot of faith in him, so he couldn’t be that bad.

I pulled myself up; the skies were still very dark with a uplifting wind brushing against my face. I stretched my arms and legs a bit before retreating the metal arm back under the black coat, “Wake up, everyone,” I said to my five Pokemon.

I watched patiently as they all opened their eyes in a groggy manner. Those with appendages each stretched them out in the same manner as me before. Unfortunately for me, the four of them then decided that it was still too early, and collapsed to the floor below, falling asleep once more. I exasperatedly sighed before a light bulb flashed in my mind--I had a plan!

“Starmie,” I said to the only Pokemon still awake, “could you douse them all with a light Water Gun?”

Once again the purple starfish gave me a confused look, but that didn’t stop him from pulling through with my plan. “Hya!,” he cried as a steady stream of water discharged from his dominant appendage, spraying onto the four slumbering Pokemon.

“Hera!,” “Squirtle, squirt!,” “Treecko!” All of them woke up once more, fully awake and standing tall with an alarmed expression on each of their faces.

“Good work, Starmie,” I said to the purple starfish.

“Hya!”

Without so much as a moment of hesitation, I retracted my team into their respective Poke Balls and grabbed my knapsack. I held the bag over my left shoulder and made my way through the Viridian Forest.

03
reeb

I continued through the great forest, watching as several Weedle scuttled about along the dirt-filled ground. I had no interest in catching a Weedle because they evolved into Beedrill. I was no fan of bees, so Weedle wasn’t on my priority list. Besides, I already had two bug Pokemon already, and I didn’t want half my team to be weak to rock Pokemon, especially with the Pewter City Gym being my next target.

As I strolled mindlessly through the intimidating forest, I began to notice the several birds chirping, perhaps Pidgey or Pidgeotto; no doubt they were ready to dive bomb the first bug they saw. I paid them no attention and continued my tedious trek through Viridian Forest. A rummaging through the bushes caught my senses--it was a large Pokemon, no doubt. Couldn’t have been a Weedle or Caterpie, the rustling of the bushes was way too violent really to be anything of the sort. I simply stood patiently waiting for whatever Pokemon inside to emerge.

A few moments had passed and it had eventually made his way out of the foliage. He was definitely much larger than normal bug Pokemon, that’s for sure. Unfamiliar to me, however, so I quickly pulled out my red Pokedex and scanned him for some information, “Pinsir: the stag beetle Pokemon,” my Pokedex informed me, “using its large pinchers, Pinsir can be quite destructive. It can break apart the shells of Metapod and Kakuna to eat the slumbering Pokemon inside.”

In that case, I thought to myself, I’ll let Metapod sit this one out. I do need to test out my new Squirtle though. Pulling the fourth Poke Ball from my belt, I quickly tossed it to the ground, “Let’s go, Squirtle!”

“Squirtle!,” the tiny turtle happily chirped.

I know I wasn’t interested in catching another bug Pokemon, but Pinsir was quite a rare find. I’d be foolish not to try and catch him, “Squirtle,” I commanded, “use Water Gun!”

Quickly, my blue turtle Pokemon fired a stream of light, fluid water at the enemy Pinsir. The large stag beetle was slapped in the face by the hydroxygen, thus further angering him. Pinsir glared angrily towards Squirtle, and quickly jetted towards the innocent Pokemon.

“Squirtle, dodge it,” I shouted loudly. As the massive bug Pokemon continued forward, Squirtle immediately leapt out of the way before he could be stricken. Unfortunately, I neglected to do the same and Pinsir rammed right into me, knocking me to the ground upon my right side. Damn, I cursed to myself.

Regaining my composure, I looked at the Pinsir with disgust, I don’t care if he is a rare Pokemon, I thought to myself, “Squirtle, knock him out! Use Skull Bash!”

“Squirt!,” my obedient Pokemon acknowledged, glaring at his foe with the utmost regard. He pulled himself back slightly, then quickly lunged forward with his tiny turtle head outstretched. Without even a hint of knowledge, Pinsir was struck in his torso by the aquamarine turtle’s round head.

“Pin…sir…,” he said, tired. He quickly retreated into the forest, most likely to nurse his wounds.

“Way to go, Squirtle,” I congratulated the tiny Pokemon. He cheered in the same way he always did, and we walked together through the forest.

III

I tried to adjust my right arm, but its movements were very sluggish, The fall must’ve loosened one of the screws, I thought to myself, I hope there’s a mechanic nearby.

Squirtle and I continued our trek through the great forest of Viridian before we saw the sunlight upon the other side. The forest was ending, and Pewter City would be close by. I began to spring through the forest happily, knowing that either today or tomorrow I’d be able to get my first gym badge.

No longer plagued by the dark, bug-infested forest, Squirtle and I continued our way down the dirt-paved path. It was heavily lit, which was a plus, but there were no trainers nearby. That was unfortunate because I really wanted some more training.

I noticed a solitaire house halfway along the pathway; it looked quite worn, but I could read the sign from here. It read, “PEWTER CITY AUTO-MAIL”. Auto-mail?, I thought to myself, Perhaps he’s a mechanic.

I wandered over to the worn building and noticed that the garage door was open. A man was bent over; he was wearing greasy blue overalls and a tight white t-shirt. Sitting next to him was a really old cherry red automobile that read, “Chevrolet”. I didn’t know what it had meant; it must’ve been from another country or something. Regardless, I continued through the unkempt lawn and got a few feet in front of the garage.

“Excuse me, sir,” I said to the obvious mechanic.

He stood up and turned around, making me a very wrong individual indeed; rather than an older man standing there, the he was quite in fact a she. She had an innocent look about her, with her dirty blonde hair flowing past her shoulders. Needless to say, I was quite embarrassed.

“I’m sorry?,” she questioned.

“Er… excuse me, miss…,” I said as I tried to redeem myself from my rude introduction, secretly hoping that she didn’t understand me at first.

“Yes?”

“I was wondering if you could take a look at my arm,” I sheepishly told her; even though Squirtle probably didn’t understand what I was going through, I could tell that he was mentally smacking himself in the forehead.

“I’m not a doctor, sir,” she said coldly.

To further explain to her my situation, I slipped off my coat and revealed to her the metal arm which I had sloppy control of, “I mean this arm.”

“Oh, sorry about that,” she blushed slightly whilst observing the metal appendage, “I’ll have to remove it from the caddy so I can take a better look.” She paused before asking me, “You don’t mind, do you?”

“No-no,” I stuttered, “go ahead.”

IV

While the mechanic was busy looking over my metal arm, Squirtle stayed by her side with an look of admiration for her. I had to admit, she was a very cute girl despite her rugged background. To ease my mind, I wandered around the old building hoping to spot a wild Pokemon so that I could train some more.

EUREKA!, I thought to myself as I spotted a gooey, purple Pokemon slither into my line of sight. “A Pokemon! Perfect.” I reached over with my only hand and pulled the fifth Poke Ball from its socket on my belt and tossed it to the ground, “Go Metapod!”

Out of the small, red and white colored Poke Ball emerged the green cocoon Pokemon, “Metapod,” she said with a deadpan tone.

“Di-tto,” chirped the Pokemon, obviously a Ditto. I watched as the strange gelatinous blob creature glistened a pearl white color, reshaping itself into a Metapod as well, “Metapod,” it said.

“So it’s a shape shifter,” I said calmly, “Metapod, use Tackle!”

Metapod did nothing.

“Oh that’s right… you can’t move,” I mentally slapped myself in the forehead - that was strike one. “Okay then,” I paused briefly to think, “use Harden!”

Metapod’s green leaf-like exterior shined metallic, glowing brightly in the sunshine above, “Metapod, pod.” I watched as the Metapod clone did the exact same maneuver. That was strike number two. This battle was going nowhere fast.

V

Over half an hour had elapsed, and I was desperately trying to win this great battle between two Metapod. Obviously, the only thing either of them had done was Harden their shells, so at least if anyone shot at them, they’d be safe. This was obviously strike number three.

The mechanic wandered over to me with my metal arm in her hands, “You’re battling a Metapod…” she said to me. Squirtle seemed to be attached to her leg at the moment, but I didn’t pay him any mind.

“Yup,” I replied.

“…with another Metapod?”

“Yeah, what of it,” I quipped frigidly.

“Nothing really,” she replied, “I fixed your arm, would you like to have it reattached.”

“Not right now, I’m in the heat of battle,” I explained.

She looked at the “fierce” battle between Metapod and Bizzaro-Metapod, and while I believed that the Bizzaro-Metapod posed a threat to mine, she may’ve thought otherwise. I could sense her anguished sigh as she blew it out. Several beads of sweat poured down from my face; I thought they were from this stressful battle, but they were most likely from the sun beating down.

“Metapod,” my Metapod announced before shining a strange white aura. I heard a crackling sound as her body reshaped into something far more attractive, “E-ee-ee!”

“Your Metapod evolved,” the girl congratulated.

“Yeah, but into what,” I wondered aloud whilst pulling out the shiny red computer.

The electronic voice of the Pokedex greeted me, “Butterfree: the butterfly Pokemon,” I was informed, “using its long wings, Butterfree can easily loft overhead of its opponents and disable their attacks with various powders released at will.”

Interesting, I thought to myself, scrolling through the many pages listed on Butterfree to see what kinds of attacks she could learn. Finally finding something that looked interesting, I called to her to finish this drawn-out battle, “Butterfree, use Sleep Powder!”

“E-ee-ee!” Butterfree hovered over her Bizzaro-Metapod adversary and flapped her new wings up and down, releasing a yellowish dust from them. The powder fell upon the foe, causing its eyes to become heavier and dull. I watched as the Bizzaro-Metapod fell to sleep whilst changing back to his previous form.

“Way to go, Butterfree,” I announced in an excited tone.

“That was… interesting,” the girl said sheepishly.

“It was, wasn’t it?,” I jokingly replied, withdrawing both my Pokemon into their respected Poke Balls. The girl handed me my arm, which I promptly reattached into the holster. I hated when I had to do it though because it was always a painful process. I winced as the shock occurred, but didn’t squeal out in pain mostly because there was a cute girl present and I didn’t want to look like a wimp in front of her. “So,” I said trying to start a nice conversation, “how do you know your way around something like this?”

“You mean auto-mail?,” she asked.

“Auto-mail,” I wondered, “is that what this is?”

She nodded, “Yeah, it’s not that popular really; only a few people have it because of how expensive it is,” she said smartly, “The reason I know my way around it so well is because my dad’s got auto-mail and I, being an adept mechanic, curiously disassembled and reassembled it many times.” Her explanation was quite thorough; I had no doubt that she was telling the truth, “Now I have a question for you.”

“Go ahead,” I told her.

“What is that mark you have on the palm?,” she asked.

To be honest, I didn’t exactly know what she had meant by that; I pulled my arm over and glanced at it. Etched into the palm of my metal arm was an unfamiliar shape, a cross with a dark outline. “Hm,” I thought aloud, “I never noticed it before.”

“So you don’t know what it means then,” she asked.

“Can’t say that I do.”

“Oh,” she sighed, “by the way, my name is Reeb.” She extended her hand out to me in a friendly manner. Smiling to myself, I took her hand and initiating the handshake.

“I’m Hawthorne,” I replied, “it’s a pleasure to meet you, Reeb.”

VI

As the sun slowly fell into the horizon whilst the crescent moon gradually took its place, Reeb and I made our way to the city. Reeb decided to join me to Pewter so she could “pick up some parts for the Chevy,” or whatever that meant. I didn’t mind her traveling with me, as I enjoyed the company. To tell the truth, I wasn’t very big on being alone really, and I secretly hoped that she would come with me for the entire journey.

I noted the three Poke Balls on her belt; she was no doubt a trainer as well as a mechanic. As I continued to stare at her elegant features, I bumped into someone who was traveling the same trail.

“My bad,” he said apologetically. Don’t know why though, it was completely my fault.

Reeb spoke to the trainer excitedly, “You’re a trainer!?” She must’ve spotted some Poke Balls on this person.

“That’s correct,” he replied, “the name’s Colin. I’m a trainer from Celadon City.”

“Wow, Celadon?,” she mused, “you’ve come a long way. I bet your Pokemon are strong.”

“That’s right,” he explained, “would you like to battle me one-on-one?”

“Sure!”

Normally I’d like to be the one battling trainers, but considering that he had spent a good amount of time on his journey, coming from Celadon and all, his Pokemon were probably a lot stronger than my own. That, and Reeb was the one challenged, not me. I just stood there and watched as the two trainers released their respected Pokemon.

“Go Poliwhirl,” the trainer called out in a scruffy voice. Emerging from his azure colored Poke Ball was a rotund blue Pokemon with a peculiar swirl upon his stomach.

“Poli!”

In the same manner as the other trainer, Reeb quickly tossed a silver shaded Poke Ball to the ground, “I choose Skarmory!”

Emerging from the nice silver Poke Ball was a large, steel albatross. He let out a metallic caw, signifying that he was indeed “the man”… or bird, or something.

“Skarmory, use your Sky Attack!,” Reeb commanded.

I watched as the large metal bird’s shiny wings flapped swiftly, lifting him higher into the air. His metallic exterior shined a burning red color as he dove towards the smaller tadpole-like Pokemon. Plunging straight into him, Skarmory managed to topple the Poliwhirl to the ground.

“Bubblebeam, Poliwhirl!”

No doubt barely scathed by the albatross’ harsh attack, Poliwhirl quickly regained his composure and slapped his two gloved hands together, shooting off a stream of water bubbles towards the metal bird. As the froth slapped against Skarmory’s metal hide, he cawed in anguish, staring the opponent down.

“Now Poliwhirl, Doubleslap!,” shouted Colin with an unwelcome smirk of arrogance plastered against his features. The smaller blue frog leapt over to his foe and repeatedly slapped him with his two white gloved palms.

“Skarmory, Counter it!”

As the Poliwhirl continued to slap his unbothered opponent, Skarmory shined an unusual reddish color for just a few moments. Poliwhirl slapped one more time, and when he did so the red aura shocked him heavily.

“Good work, Skarmory, now use Steel Wing!” The girl’s commands were quite confident; it was clear to me that she knew what she was doing.

I watched as Skarmory flapped his wings faster and faster as he climbed into the air steadily. His metallic wings glistened in the beautiful moonlight as he ducked downwards, swiping his silver wings across Poliwhirl’s white torso.

I assumed the attack would be enough to bring down the small toad, but obviously I was wrong. It was clear to me that Colin’s Poliwhirl was very well-trained.

“Poliwhirl, use your Ice Punch!,” Colin commanded his tiny blue toad.

“Poli-whirl!” His right arm became encased by a chillingly cold pillar of ice as he drove it into the metallic albatross. Once more greeted by the Skarmory’s tinny cry, I winced.

“Skarmory, stun him with your Metal Sound!”

Skarmory, seemingly unharmed by Poliwhirl’s icy punch, latched onto the ground and cawed loudly with a very harmful (even to me) screech, freezing the Poliwhirl.

“Now’s your chance!,” Reeb shouted excitedly, “finish him off with your Drill Peck, Skarmory!”

Quickly whilst his opponent was stunned, Skarmory wandered over to the Poliwhirl and dove his metal beak into Poliwhirl’s head, knocking him to the ground, “Poli…whirl…”

“Poliwhirl, return,” Colin said; his confidence was relieved but his cockiness wasn’t, “you battle well, Reeb,” he said to her.

“Thanks,” she replied, holding up the silver Poke Ball and recalling the victorious Skarmory, “you too.”

“Well, I’m off to Viridian City now,” Colin advised, “maybe I’ll see you guys later.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I muttered to myself.

VI

The nightfall was heavy and Pewter City was nearing. I wouldn’t be able to battle the Gym Leader this evening as I was much too tired. When we finally entered the stony village of Pewter City, we immediately thought the same thing and wandered to the Pokemon Center to rest until morning.

“I guess I’ll have to battle the Gym Leader tomorrow,” I said to ease the tension in the room. I lied down upon one of the vacant cots whilst Reeb did the same.

“Yeah, I’ll get the parts for the Chevy tomorrow too,” she said. I still had no idea what she meant by that.

Well, that was another exciting adventure, don't 'ya think? Anyway, here's what to expect from Episode 04: The Great Divide:

What's Up Next:
-a gym battle
-a new character designed so that more people will tune in
-a dramatic cliff hanger that'll make you all hate me!

-Grey

[Greyfox]

I've decided to post the next to chapters in haste mainly because I've been on a writer's binge and if I continue to write at this pace, I'll have more chapters than necessary that'll probably never get posted. So without further ado, here is chapter four and five in the next post.

-Grey

I

The sun shined brightly through the window of the Pokemon Center forcing me to wake up. I groggily opened my eyes, rubbing them to adjust my vision. I scanned the near-vacant room to make sure everything was in order.

“Finally awake,” I heard a feminine voice call to me. It belonged to Reeb.

“Y-yeah,” I said, still very much tired.

I gave myself just a few moments to fully awake before pulling myself out of bed and walking with Reeb to the front counter to pick up my deposited Poke Balls. As soon as we stepped out of the center, we winced as the bright yellow sun beat down upon us.

“I guess I’ll see you later,” she said to me.

“You’re not coming with me to the gym?”

“I’d like to,” the replied, “but I promised my dad that I’d be back as soon as I could. He worries about me a lot.”

I sighed disappointedly, “Oh.”

“Don’t worry,” she smirked, “I’m sure you’ll beat the Gym Leader easily.”

I watched the younger girl walk away waving good-bye to me. With an unsatisfied grimace upon my features, I turned the other way and wandered through the great city that was best known for its massive museum. But I wasn’t interested in the museum, no-no. I wanted to defeat the Gym Leader, whoever he or she was, and get on out of here as soon as I could.

As I walked through the vast city, I pondered long and hard about which Pokemon I would choose for this upcoming battle. Luckily all of them were fully refreshed so battling wouldn’t be much of a problem. The leader here specialized in rock Pokemon, I heard, so Butterfree was definitely a no-go, and even though Heracross’ fighting abilities were strong against rock types, I wasn’t sure that he’d fare well against them. That only left three options, which all held an advantage one way or the other: Squirtle, Treecko, and Starmie.

04
the great divide

The day was very dry and musky, much to my dismay. I couldn’t wait for it to get cooler, but that was still a few months away, unfortunately. I sighed and continued walking over to the large, brick building which had a sign that read, “BOULDER GYM - LEADER JIROO”.

This must be the place, I thought to myself. Before I could even think about opening the door, I felt a peculiar tapping upon my shoulder. What the?

“Excuse me,” came a young, innocent sounding voice.

I turned around to face the person calling for me; he was a young trainer, about three years younger than me. His garb merely consisted of blue trunks and a white tee. His blonde hair was shaggy and quite chaotic, “Yes,” I asked him.

“My name is Blonde and I’m a new trainer from Cerulean City,” he answered, “you look like a good trainer. Would you like to battle me?”

Although I was annoyed that he bothered me just before I stepped into the air conditioned gym, I didn’t say no. It was perhaps best that I did battle him, just for a warm up really. “Sure kid,” I said to him, “my name is Hawthorne and I accept your challenge.”

No doubt the younger protige was ecstatic. We walked over to an open field and made our terms. The battle was to be a two-versus-two, and it could’ve been anyone’s match. I calmly chose my two Pokemon, the only two who wouldn’t be competing in the gym battle, Heracross and Butterfree. Slipping the fifth Poke Ball off my belt, I tossed it to the ground eagerly.

“E-ee-ee,” chirped the large bug Pokemon as she hovered a few feet in the air.

“Wow, a Butterfree!,” Blonde bellowed as he tossed a similar Poke Ball to the ground, “then I choose Seel!”

Out of the younger boy’s red and white colored Poke Ball emerged a small, white colored dugong. He clapped his fins together and barked happily, “Seel!”

I didn’t bother pulling out my Pokedex as I was pretty familiar with Blonde‘s choice of Pokemon. I simply gazed at my own Pokemon trying to conjure up a good strategy, “Butterfree, use Tackle!”

“E-ee-ee!,” she whistled as she dove down towards the smaller Seel, ramming into his watery skin. The wind was forced out of the dugong as he barked loudly in pain, but his trainer didn’t seem to be worried whatsoever.

“Seel, use Icy Wind!,” Blonde commanded with poise.

Without even a moment’s hesitation, Seel barked, “Seel!,” emitting a small wave of chillingly cold ice towards my large butterfly. As the freezing winds enveloped her, I saw her wings slowly stop moving bringing her to the ground. No doubt this trainer knew what he was doing, but I wasn’t ready to give up just yet.

“Butterfree,” I shouted, taking a moment to think of my next move, “use your Confusion attack!”

Her body now safely on the ground, immobilized because her wings were frozen, Butterfree closed her eyes and concentrated heavily on the dugong’s psyche. For just a few short seconds, Seel was wrapped tightly by a thin, blue aura, completely halting him.

“Now finish him off with Psybeam!”

Butterfree stopped her concentration and opened her eyes, firing a collective beam of psychic energy directly at the water Pokemon opponent. Seel barked in pain as the psychosis power struck his side, knocking him out for the count.

“Seel,” Blonde cried out in anguish just before returning the felled blue sea lion to his Poke Ball. I did the same for Butterfree. I waited for Blonde to coin through his two other Poke Balls to choice his next Pokemon. After a few short seconds, he pulled out the second ball and tossed it to the ground, “I choose Vulpix!”

Emerging from the Poke Ball was a small red fox with six unusual tails flailing about. The Pokemon was familiar to me, and was commonly referred to as a kitsune. I assuredly pulled out Heracross’ Poke Ball and tossed it to the ground; the large, blue stag beetle entered the field in a fighter’s stance, ready to battle.

III

At this point, a lot of people just passing by stopped and crowded around us, apparently wanting to see a good battle. Blonde was certainly a better trainer that he was giving himself credit for, there was no doubt in my mind about that. His Vulpix was strong, and not just because of the type advantage, the kitsune was giving Heracross a good run for his money.

“Heracross,” I commanded, “use Horn Attack quickly!”

“Hera-cross!,” he chirped; as the long, blue horn atop his head began to glow sharply, I watched him thrust it into the young fox’s torso, knocking him off balance.

“Vulpix, don’t give up just yet,” Blonde yelled to his tired Pokemon, “use Confuse Ray, now!”

I watched as the six-tailed fox stared blankly into the eyes of my stag beetle. So much I wanted Heracross to do something, anything at all, but he just stood there with an empty stare about him, unable to do anything whatsoever.

“Great job, Vulpix,” the younger trainer congratulated, “now quickly make him submit to your Ember attack!”

As my Heracross stood there without a clue, the more agile Vulpix ran over to him, “Vulpix!,” he barked as a dancing flame enveloped him completely. The flaming aura followed Vulpix as he tackled Heracross to the ground, pulling himself out of his absentmindedness, “Hera?”

“Heracross, are you okay,” I asked hopefully. He nodded affirmatively much to my placate, “Alright then, bring him down with your Seismic Toss!”

The blue stag beetle happily obliged; he regained his composure and lifted the Vulpix up off the ground with his tiny bug arms. His wings emerged from his back and he hovered a few feet in the air before slamming the six-tailed kitsune to the ground. The severe force of the attack was enough for him to call it quits; Vulpix collapsed to the ground.

“You did good, Vulpix,” Blonde said as he withdrew him to his Poke Ball, “Thanks for the battle, Hawthorne.”

I chuckled a bit, “No problem, Blonde,” I admitted, relieving Heracross as well, “you gave me a run for my money. I can’t wait to see what you’re like in a few months.”

“I see,” Blonde sighed, “can I ask you something, Hawthorne?”

The people around us slowly dissipated; I guess now that the battle was over no one wanted to be around us. Just as well, I guess, “Go ahead,” I assured the younger trainer.

“Do you think I could join you on your journey?”

I thought about it for a few moments before responding. It would after all be nice to have the company, especially with a strong trainer like him. “Why do you want to join me, Blonde,” I asked the younger trainer.

“Let’s just say that I have some issues with my family,” he advised, “and I’d like another strong trainer, that being you, to accompany me so I don’t get overpowered.”

“I see…”

VI

Both Blonde and I walked into the air conditioned gymnasium. The cool air brushing against our features was greatly appreciated especially after spending so much time outside. I walked to the lady at the front desk, who was sitting upright, albeit reading some girlie magazine. I rang the bell for service.

“Yes,” she asked rudely, not even pulling away from her reading material.

“I’d like to battle with the Gym Leader,” I replied, “is he in right now?”

“Leader Jiroo has recently cleared his schedule,” she informed us. Her words were very deadpan, with no emotion in them whatsoever, “you can see him any time you like.”

Despite the fact that she was quite rude, I still thanked her and made my way through the long corridors. Blonde followed me for support. As I wandered through the incredibly long, incredibly cool hallway, I glanced at the several paintings on the walls. Most of them were of stony hedges and nice mountain ranges, but there were a few that featured various Pokemon. I saw an Onix and a Sandshrew painted together cutely, as well as some other various monsters.

I opened the large, intimidating door at the end of the hallway and stepped into the gym. It was quite massive, but really just a big, open space. The floor was musky, but that was to be expected. I gazed at the ceiling and spotted some sprinklers, Why would a rock-based gym need sprinklers?, I wondered to myself.

My thoughts were interrupted as an older fellow approached me, “Are you here for a gym battle,” he asked me.

I took a few moments to stare down my inevitable adversary. He was very tall and very rugged. His garb consisted of a pair of dark brown slacks as well as a dirty white t-shirt. His face was aged and his hair was a bit lacking; no doubt he had been with this gym for awhile, “Yes, sir,” I replied.

“Excellent,” he said with an upbeat tone, “my name is Jiroo, the Gym Leader.”

VII

We exchanged our terms; the battle would be a three on three, as I expected. Our first Pokemon have been chosen: his Graveler versus my Treecko. As I watched the massive rock titan enter the arena, I made sure to collect some information on him in my Pokedex. Blonde was cheering me on in the background.

“Okay, Treecko,” I said to my small gecko, “Pound it!”

“Treecko!,” he shouted excitedly as he ran over to the large, gray stone. With much velocity, Treecko hurled his oversized green tail into the Graveler; unfortunately, it looked as if it did more harm than good as Treecko held his throbbing tail in pain, “Tree…cko…”

“Physical attacks won’t work that well on Graveler, Hawthorne,” Jiroo advised me, “now Graveler, show him whose boss! Rock Throw!”

The leviathan nodded in agreement whilst grabbing various rocks that were scattered about in the gym, “Graveler!,” he growled as he hurled the assorted pieces of rubble towards my tiny Pokemon. Pelted by the different sized rocks, Treecko fell to the ground weakly.

“Treecko, are you alright,” I asked humbly. He quickly regained his posture and nodded happily, “very well then, use Absorb!”

Treecko planted his feet onto the ground, spitting out three green-shaded bubbles out into the earth-based arena. The three bubbles latched themselves onto the massive rock Pokemon and began draining away at his health for a few moments before returning to Treecko, revitalizing him, “Treecko!”

“Don’t take that from him, Graveler,” Jiroo shouted, “use your Rock Slide attack!”

I quickly thought of a strategy as I watched the Graveler quickly vault several more rocks at my Pokemon, “Treecko, use your Quick Attack to dodge the rocks, then use Mega Drain!”

Treecko watched as the several rocks came crashing down, and at the right moment, he leapt out of the way whilst spitting out three more, larger bubbles out into the arena. In the same manner as before, the three large, green bubbles attached themselves to Graveler’s rocky hide and sucked out his remaining life, forcing him to collapse, “Grave…ler…” he said weakly as his feet gave out and his large mass fell to the floor.

“Graveler, return,” Jiroo said whilst holding the slate gray colored Poke Ball. Instantly, the large rock Pokemon dematerialized into a collection of red energy just before being sucked into the custom-made Poke Ball.

I looked at Treecko who had a big, stupid grin on his face. The previous Mega Drain must’ve revitalized his strength quite a bit. My cocky smile soon faded as Jiroo called upon his second Pokemon. The large rock snake towered over just about anything in the arena, roaring out loudly.

“Alright Onix,” Jiroo said confidently, “Bind it!”

As I watched the large pebble serpent wrap around my innocent wood gecko, my mind flashed back to a time before I could even remember…

His large steel serpent towered over the other trainer’s Sceptile, which was quite tired nonetheless. With one last squeeze, the evolved Onix, or “Steelix” moreover, managed to down his opponent before letting out a harsh cry of victory. Steelix unwound himself from his felled prey, and the green dragon collapsed in exhaustion.

I came back into the present and rubbed my eyes to readjust myself. Onix had a stranglehold upon my Treecko, and it didn’t look good for my side. Regretfully, I pulled out the wood gecko’s Poke Ball and promptly returned it, “You did good, Treecko.” Whilst pondering for a moment about what Pokemon I would use next, I noted Blonde’s concerned stare. I wasn’t ready to lose this battle, and I think he knew that as much as I did. Pulling out my fourth Poke Ball, I immediately hurled it to the ground, “Let’s go, Squirtle!”

“Squirtle!,” the tiny turtle cried happily, glaring at his threatening adversary. Squirtle didn’t seem to mind however; it looked as if he shared my motto, ‘The bigger they are, the harder they fall’.

“Alright, Squirtle,” I said to him, “let’s avenge Treecko‘s defeat. Use your strongest Water Gun!”

Squirtle pulled back and took a deep breath before continuing. In just a few moments whilst Onix slowly made his way towards him, Squirtle fired out a strong beam of water towards his foe. The hard Water Gun splashed all the way up against the snake’s head; Squirtle then made his aim downwards, covering up Onix’s great snake-like body. The Onix growled loudly before collapsing upon the floor below.

“Return, Onix,” Jiroo announced as Onix too was withdrawn. Two down, one to go. Jiroo pulled out his last Poke Ball and tossed it high into the air, releasing a much smaller, purple bat-like creature, “Crobat, you’re up!”

As I watched the small bat ascend higher into the arena, I nodded to my Squirtle, “Knock him down with Water Gun, Squirtle!”

“Crobat, fly high enough so that his Water Guns can’t hit you.”

Squirtle continued to fire thoughtless water streams into the air, but the Crobat was much too fast and managed to evade every blow. I sighed, I can’t win if I can’t hit ‘im, I thought to myself before pulling out the Poke Ball, “Squirtle, return.” The red beam of energy struck Squirtle as he evaporated into the same energy force before being quickly retracted into the ball. Not even thinking about it, I drew out my first Poke Ball and tossed it to the arena floor, “Starmie, let’s win this battle!”

“Hya!,” Starmie cried out as he entered the arena. I presumed that he was gazing at the flying Crobat, but I could never really tell.

“Go, Hawthorne!” I heard Blonde cheering me on from behind me, but I was too concerned with the battle at hand to really acknowledge him. I’m sure he knew that though.

“Crobat, stay in the air as high as you can and hit Starmie with your Air Cutter!”

“Crobat!,” the bat cried as he continued to flap his wings faster and faster. He perched himself upon one of the rafters above and violently flapped his wings downward in a slashing fashion. He managed to successfully rip through the air, hurdling it towards my large starfish. Struck by the piercing air, I watched as Starmie’s red gem busted apart. He didn’t seem to be bothered at all by the attack, so neither did I.

“Starmie,” I called out, “use your Bubblebeam attack to knock him down here!”

“Hya!,” Starmie cried out as he released a streamline of thousands of tiny bubbles at his foe. As Crobat was pelted several times over with the attack, I watched him lose balance and fall from the rafters high into the air. However, he gracefully flipped back around and flapped his wings to slow his descent, steadily climbing back into the air.

How am I gonna defeat him if I can’t really aim properly, I pondered silently before thinking of a nice plan. “Aha! Starmie, use your Psychic to hold him in place, then hit him with Ice Beam!”

“Hya!” Starmie began to glow an eerie bluish color for a few seconds, and I watched as the purple bat’s movements became slower and less agile. Suddenly, Crobat stopped dead in the air, giving Starmie enough time to aim and fire an Ice Beam directly at him. As the frustratingly cold ice pelted him in the lower torso, Crobat quickly fell to the ground.

“Return, Crobat,” said Jiroo as he gracefully returned the small bat to his Poke Ball before he even touched the ground. While inside I was very excited over my first successful gym battle, I was very calm and demure on the outside. I couldn’t say the same for Blonde, however.

“That was awesome, Hawthorne,” he jeered, full of excitement.

I promptly withdrew my tired Starmie, mindlessly slipping the ball into my pocket as Jiroo approached me from his side of the gym floor, “You battle very well, Hawthorne,” he said whilst pulling a small metal pin from his pocket, “I hereby award you with the Boulder Badge; it signifies my defeat by your hands, and will be a placeholder for you in the Indigo League next spring.”

“Thank-you, Jiroo,” I said, gracefully accepting the small pin in my left hand. It was a peculiar design; a gray rock-like structure with a black star in the center. Needless to say, I didn’t care what it looked like as I excitedly pinned it to the inside of my coat.

VIII

As the day slowly faded into a bitter nightfall, Blonde and I slowly made our way outside of Pewter City. Within a few days we would reach Blonde’s hometown and I’d be able to battle the Gym Leader there. I know that the journey would be monotonous, but I didn’t care.

As we stepped outside of the city border, I was greeted harshly with a scruffy voice which belonged to a man only a few years older than me, “You the kid that stole my brother’s Pokemon!?”

[Greyfox]

I

“Answer me!” The harshness of his voice did not fade away this time; whoever this person was, he sounded quite agitated about something. I’m thinking it was to the regards of his brother’s stolen Pokemon. However, if he was the brother of the annoying seven-year old who abandoned his Pokemon, he couldn’t be far from the truth. I’ll turn around now and see.

I turned to face the stranger that apprehended me; my previous theory of him being a lightweight was far from the truth as he stood almost a foot taller than me, and wide enough to fit normal-sized persons; he wasn’t a fat kid, neither - that weight looked to be all muscle. Being smart at this point would be a very bad idea, “What ever do you mean,” I calmly asked him.

“You stole my little brother’s two Pokemon,” he reiterated, “a Squirtle and uh… a Caterpie…”

“If you’re referring to the two Pokemon that I legitimately caught two nights ago, then you couldn’t be further from the truth,” I spoke serenely; albeit, my heart was racing faster than a race horse, but that was besides the point, “your brother abandoned them after battling me, and they came to me wanting to be trained properly.”

“I don’t believe you,” he said more severe, “but I’ll give you a choice.”

A choice?, I wondered.

“Either you give back my brother’s Pokemon,” he sneered like a mad egomaniac, “or I beat you to a bloody pulp. Does that sound fair?”

Obviously not, I thought to myself. “How ’bout this, Hercules,” I offered, “we battle for them. If I win, I keep them; if you win, then I’ll gladly hand them over.”

“How about we up the stakes,” he retorted, “if I win, you give me all your Pokemon,” he paused for effect while pulling out a small, green colored Poke Ball, “and if you win, I’ll give you this one.” Tossing the Poke Ball to the ground, he revealed a massive earth creature that was quite unfamiliar to me.

“Venusaur!,” cried the beast.

“Don’t do it, Hawthorne,” Blonde cried from behind me.

“Stay outta this, little brother,” he snapped back.

Brother, I wondered to myself before quickly following back onto the current topic; to be honest, I really didn’t want to do so either. However, when I saw that massive leviathan, a third-stage Pokemon, enter the stakes, I couldn’t say no. “Agreed,” I told him, pulling out a Poke Ball of my own, “Heracross, let’s go!”

05
vendetta of fools

Both Pokemon stared one another down, looking for any sign of weakness on their opponent’s behalf. Heracross waited patiently for my commands, but I waited to see what this big guy was gonna do first. I had the elemental advantage, so I knew that this battle was in the bag.

“Venusaur,” shouted the large brute, “use your Vine Whip to hold him down!”

“Saur!,” roared the large, green beast as two well-knit vines appeared from his great flower. I gaped as they wrapped themselves around Heracross as he struggled to break free from their strong grasp. As the inevitable strain grew worse and worse for my side, I thought about how to make this situation work better for me.

In a brilliant flash of light, I prepared a decent strategy that would use Venusaur’s grip on Heracross to my advantage, “Heracross,” I called out with poise, “latch onto the vines as hard as you can then fly into the air; slam Venusaur to the ground with your Seismic Toss!”

Sure enough, the much tinier stag beetle latched each of his small arms onto the green vines, pulling the massive behemoth up with his flight. I’ve never seen Heracross struggle so much, but he seemed to be handling the situation very well. Lifted a good ten feet in the air, Heracross bit down on each of Venusaur’s vines and snapped them off, plummeting the massive green giant to the ground below, “Venus…aur…”

“Nicely done, Heracross,” I cheered to him; he was quite tired, but I was very confident in his abilities. “Now, use your Fury Cutter, Heracross!”

Tired, but very loyal, Heracross hovered slowly over to the Venusaur who was still struggling to pull himself back up. As his anger built up, I watched as my blue Pokemon sliced at the Venusaur with his talon-like claws three times in a row before retreated back. Venusaur had finally managed to pick himself up at this point.

“Saur, saur!”

“Now Venusaur, bide your time charging up for a Solar Beam!,” the brawly opponent called out.

Venusaur grunted as his bloomed flower glistened in the sunlight. The attack didn’t seem to be doing anything whatsoever, so I advised Heracross to continue with his Fury Attack. Heracross loyally obliged, swiping at his opponent for several minutes with his sharpened claws.

Heracross began to grow weary, and I noticed that my opponent’s Venusaur didn’t even flinch from the heavy assault my Pokemon was laying on him. I began to think that I may not win this as swiftly as my original thought. Venusaur let out a shrill of arrogance as his massive flower began to glow a bright yellow color, “Venusaur.”

“Good job, Venusaur,” his trainer shouted, “now bring down that bug!”

Heracross’ breathes became heavy and arduous as he stood in front of the Venusaur that towered over him. I watched as his eyes nearly shot out of his skull as the Venusaur’s true intent became clear. With a loud roar, the massive Venusaur fired out a beam of collected energy that appeared to be from the sunlight itself. My heart beat became much more rapid as the yellowish-red beam of energy pelted my Pokemon and pummeled him to the ground.

“HERACROSS!,” I yelled to him in fear.

“Hera…cross…,” his eyes slammed shut and his limbs became limp. I ran over to him and held him in my arms.

“Looks like I win, kid,” he laughed cockily, “now all your Pokemon are mine.”

I didn’t want to admit it, but he was right. Every Pokemon I caught, every Pokemon that wanted to go with me… gone, within just a matter of minutes.

III

I wandered blankly through the streets of Pewter City with my head held down. The sunny skies that once littered this day were no longer as apparent; dark gray clouds loomed overhead as the thunderous growls of the vapors sounded loudly. It sounds too much like a cliché; a kid feeling down on the dumps wandering around outside, then bam! Massive rainfall. But you can’t prove it didn’t happen.

I sighed, wandering through the city. I was alone right now; Blonde was forced to go back to Cerulean City with his older brother whose name I never got to learn. The salty air I noted as the water belted my skin. Nonchalantly, I placed my left hand in my pocket, and to my surprise I felt a round orb-like object. What the?, I thought to myself as I pulled out the object. With a grateful look upon my features, I gazed at the red and white colored Poke Ball that I had accidentally tossed in my pocket after the gym battle with Jiroo.

I tossed the ball to the ground and released my starter Pokemon; Starmie, the purple starfish cackled out as he hovered a few inches in the air.

“I’m glad you’re still with me, Starmie;” I admitted, “we’ll be all alone for awhile, so we better make the best of things.”

We walked around for a bit; or rather, I walked, Starmie hovered. We left the depressing town of Pewter and the unkempt grass slapped against my pant legs. I scanned the foliage-infested pathway looking for anything to ease my mind from the fact that I had just given away four of my Pokemon; one of which belonged to Father…

I sighed deeply; spotting a peculiar metal object amongst the grass below, I ran over to it with Starmie following shortly after. Picking up the object, I noticed that it looked strangely like an arm or a claw, perhaps belonging to a nearby Pokemon.

I took the small silver claw-like object and showed it to Starmie. He shook his head, perhaps telling me that he had no idea what to expect from it either. I put the object in my bag and we continued on the trail.

The rain at this point had dulled into a sluggish trickling with several large water droplets still dribbled upon my skin. It didn’t matter as my hair was already soaked as well as my clothes. I was lucky to be wearing a jacket, because it was beginning to get quite cold. I looked over at Starmie who didn’t seem at all to be bothered by the not-so pouring rainfall; just as I expected, he was a water Pokemon after all.

IV

We continued on the seemingly endless trail as the sun beams slowly broke through the storm clouds in the sky. I noted the large mountainous range in the background. My gaze turned every which way as the day carried on in a disorganized fashion. Starmie cried out, “Hya!,” randomly, quickly fluttering over towards what appeared to be a shiny object amongst the wet grass.

“Starmie,” I yelled to him just before inevitably chasing him down. Really out of shape, I struggled to breath as I gazed down at the tiny creature that Starmie had led me to. A Pokemon, I wondered to myself whilst scrambling through my bag for my Pokedex.

Pointing the red computer at the silver Pokemon. “Metang: the iron claw Pokemon,” it explained to me, “using its telepathy, Metang can move just about any obstacle that stands in its way.”

“Hm…” I mumbled loudly, “it seems to be missing something…” A light bulb flashed in my head; I pulled out the silver object that I had previously found moments ago and showed it to the weakly creature. “Is this yours,” I asked the creature.

“Me…tang…”

I held the claw up to the Pokemon and then both of them began to shine a lucent white color, What the!?, I thought to myself. Slowly, the two objects merged together and the white glow then faded away.

“Metang,” it ejaculated, much more excited now.

“Did I just… fix you?,” I questioned myself.

“Metang, metang!”

“Hya!”

The two Pokemon began to converse with one another; I presume that Starmie was bragging about how good a trainer I was. And by that, I mean that I hoped that Starmie was bragging about how good a trainer was. The former, it would seem, as Metang nudged over at me, “You want me to battle you?”

“Metang, metang!”

“Alright then,” I gave in, “but if I win, I’m gonna try to catch you. Is that okay?”

“Tang.”

It was at this point that the rains had completely subsided; however, the salty air was still present, much to my annoyance. I tried not to let it bother me, nodding to my Starmie that it was okay to start battling. “Okay, Starmie,” I announced, “fire your Water Gun at it to weaken it!”

“Hya!” Starmie stretched out his fin-like appendages and spit out a steady stream of water at his steel adversary. The silver Metang hovered a few inches into the air in hopes to avoid the wet spell, but still received the blunt of the overall attack.

“Tang, metang,” it cried, coming forward and swiping at Starmie with his metallic talons. Starmie received several cuts from the small metal creature, but didn’t mind them at all.

“Okay, Starmie,” I announced, “trounce it with your Confuse Ray paired with a Hidden Power!”

The large, purple starfish stared blankly into the Metang’s eyes, digging through its subconscious. Whilst Metang began to feel woozy and light-headed, staring off into the distance, Starmie began his next attack. Summoning a great red aura, Starmie enveloped himself with a surge of special energy. Hm, I thought to myself, Starmie’s Hidden Power element is fire. That’s good to know. Starmie cried out as a massive, red beam of energy ripped through the air and collided with the ill-thought Metang. Surged with the direct hit of Starmie’s attack, Metang fell to the ground. I saw my chance, and pulled out the only vacant Poke Ball I had left.

“Poke Ball, go!,” I shouted excitedly as I tossed the ball over to the felled Metang. It sailed through the air for less than a second before it pelted against Metang’s silver shell, dematerializing him into pure, red energy before absorbing him into the itself. The ball didn’t even shake; the red light upon the center of the ball easily faded back to a white shade, signaling that the Pokemon inside was captured.

“I caught a Metang!,” I jeered with glee as I ran over to the small red and white-colored Poke Ball that now lied peacefully on the moist grasses below.

V

We eventually ended up returning to Pewter City; it was getting late, far too late for us to venture to Cerulean City. Metang and Starmie hovered behind as I led them to the Pokemon Center so that their wounds could be nursed.

I lied dormant in the uncomfortable cot gazing at the ceiling above. While I did miss my Pokemon, it was unlikely that I would ever see them again. Heracross belonged to my father, Treecko was my first capture and Butterfree was my first fully-evolved Pokemon…

I sighed.

That was the double-feature; I hope you enjoyed it. Here's what's in store for the next chapter, 06: The Nest of Un-Life:

What's Up Next:
-Hawthorne also discovers a band of strange people in an abandoned warehouse
-battles
-evolutions?

-Grey

[Darien Shields]

A chapter a day keeps the readers away... trust me, it's really hard to read all this. I'm only on like, Chapter 2, and struggling to keep up...

It's interesting to say the least, but I'm confused as to why Hawthorne thinks that participating in the Pokemon League will bring him closer to finding the guy who killed Ash. Oh, yeah, I think that you could have done a better job at the start- it was all written very well, except I had trouble believing that the challenger was a pokemon league finalist who could defeat five of Ash's pokemon. It also strikes me that Ash could have simply ran away from Misty and Hawthorne... I think you might have described the guy who showed up with the Heracross. He seems to have just shown up... it might have been just as effective to replace him with a letter with the pokeball enclosed.

I hope this isn't all just inspired by FMA... ^_^;

Well, it's quite good, keep up the good work, but err, maybe slow it down? I don't see why you wouldn't post it at some point once you've written it.

[Greyfox]

Darien Shields Yeah, it does seem a bit suspicious that the killer was able to get that far in the tournament, but that's what makes it so unusual. And I know this just sounds like me trying to make excuses, but I assure you otherwise. It'll be explained better as the story goes along. Same with the the old man and the Heracross. The reason why the father didn't simply run away from his family when he knew he was gonna die... well, he's Ash... and even in his maturity, he still doesn't get take time to think about some things... either that or I messed up or something. But Hawthorne didn't join the league simply because he wants to avenge his father's death, no-no. He just wants to follow in his father's footsteps.

Just be confident in knowing that all the uncertainties that you note in the first few chapters will all come together later.

The problem with me right now is that I have no responsibilities to time me down; the only thing I can really do is write, and because my novel's already finished, it only leaves me with Kyuusaisha and Requiem. I'm almost finished with chapter seven of Kyuu, even whilst Requiem isn't a priority at the moment.

...and it is a little bit influenced by FMA being that the kid has a metal arm and all that, but that's really where all the simularities end.

-Grey

[Darien Shields]

Absent father figure. Following in father's footsteps. Sounds pretty FMA to me...

And I didn't mean the fact that he was a killer or anything, but I was thinking, even before I read that bit, during the fight, "Man, how did this idiot get to the finals?" 'Cause he seemed... pretty dumb. No tactic, no fear of "teh Piks" even though by now everyone ought to know he's pretty powerful (a smart opponent would read up on their enemy... right?) *shrug*

Also: his regard to his Automail reminds me of Edo- even though it's pretty good, he still would prefer his real arm (much to Winry's chagrin, in the case of FMA.)

I like his apparant resentment of some things (there is resentment, isn't there? I'm not just imagining it?), like the trainers getting starter pokemon, or the shift towards Saffron, etc, etc.

I hear that the pokemon map is based on Japan... is Saffron supposed to be like Tokyo?

[Greyfox]

Darien Shields What anime hasn't had a missing father figure, really? That can't only be attributed to Fullmetal, as there are many anime out there whose main character lacks a father figure (RahXephon and even Pokemon). But that's not to say that Hawthorne hates his father, he can't... he never really got the chance to meet him. And even so, could you picture Ash's son doing anything other than being a Pokemon trainer that follows in Ash's footsteps? Anyway...

Rode being a dumb trainer but still getting to the top. Rode is an interesting character with several different personas. You'll be reminded of him when you read about the Hawthorne's unnamed opponent in episode five when compared to later issues.

But yeah, Kanto is an actual existing region in Japan, although I'm not certain whether or not Saffron is meant to represent Tokyo.

Hawthorne does resent the richer kids in the bigger cities, no doubt about that.

[Greyfox]

I

[justify]I wandered through the trail with my two Pokemon hovering at my side. I wasn’t really sure where I was going, just that I was getting there. My new Metang was eager to get somewhere, that part I was certain. He pointed me down this strange pathway and I, not really in the mood to continue on my Pokemon journey at the moment, followed him.

As I continued to stroll down this strange path, my mind lingered back to different things… er, maybe just one thing… and by one thing, I mean one person. I started to wonder about the mechanic, Reeb, who fixed my arm. She certainly was a pretty girl, way outta my league. I sighed and thought logically. Nothing would work out between us; we were likely too different from one another.

"Meh, meh!," cried Metang as he pointed his silver-tipped claw meters ahead.

"What is it, Metang?," I asked it. I received no reply as the silver machine lofted quickly over to what appeared to be a felled blue object in the field.

Finally catching up to my runaway Pokemon, I placed both hands on my knees and gasped for breath. Considering that I was only twenty meters or so away when I started the sprint, my theory that I needed to get in shape was proven. I looked down at the creature which Metang had led me to, and to my surprise, it was another Metang. Albeit, blue in color rather than mine’s silver.

Metang tried to awaken its blue-clad friend, but sighed when its attempts were in fain. Luckily, I had some healing spray still in my bag and hopefully it would work. I pulled a small bottle from my book bag and sprayed it lightly in the weak Pokemon, "Meh…tang…," it said feebly, opening its eyes.

"Metang, metang!" My silver-colored Pokemon announced with glee.

Starmie had joined both Metang and began conversing with each of them smoothly. However, when the blue Metang fully pulled itself together, it cried to mine before floating off in the same direction we were heading, "Wait up, Metang!," I cried out to it.[/justify]

06
the nest of non-life

[justify]I struggled to keep up with the two Metang as well as Starmie; the rain had started up again, this time much harder than it was before. Not worrying about my soaked features, I ran faster through the pathway catching up with the three Psychic Pokemon.

"Wait… up…" I exasperated.

About two or three minutes of strict running, the Pokemon stopped in front of a very large, very old looking warehouse. As the sweat rolled down my worn features, I stared at the particularly outsized building that stood in front of me.

"What’s that… doing… here?," I wondered loudly to myself.

"Meh, metang!" "Meh-metang!" The three Pokemon conversed with one another, presumably about the large warehouse. It hadn’t occurred to me that my Metang may have come from this very place. Cautiously, I opened the front door; the loud, squeaking noise signaled to me that perhaps the hinges hadn’t been oiled in a long time. I was actually surprised to find that the door was even unlocked.

I wandered into the old building with the three Pokemon following suit. I was unable to see anything because it was so dark, so I called out for Starmie, "Starmie, use your Flash to illuminate this place a little."

"Hya," he said quietly. Emitted from his red jewel at his torso was a bright, penetrating light that lit up the room rather well. I scanned the building up and down, locating various creatures of all shapes and sizes.

How long has this building been here, I wondered to myself. The various Pokemon sprawled about the vast inside peeked my curiosity; I gently pulled out the shiny, red Pokedex and cautiously scanned the first Pokemon I saw.

"Porygon: the virtual Pokemon," the electronic voice explained, "it was created in the year 1997 by Silph Co. S/N: 001664."

Ess-enn? Serial Number?

Shrugging off the thought, I peered over towards another unfamiliar Pokemon and scanned it as well; "Beldum: the iron ball Pokemon," I was informed, "it was created in the year 2003 by Silph Co. S/N 018335."

If these Pokemon have serial numbers, I mused, then that must mean that they aren’t really Pokemon at all. But then why would my they even register in my Pokedex if that were the case?

"Beldum…"

"Metang! Metang!"

I stepped away from the Pokemon as they caught up with one another. I realized then that my silver Metang was sent out into the forest to get help for some reason, and it got me. But now I just need to know for what reason they’d need help. I felt a strange something bump against my leg. Confused, I turned to see what it was that hit me.

"Porygon."

"Porygon? What do you want," I asked it frigidly. Despite my efforts to detach it from me, the Porygon still followed my every movement. I shrugged it off and continued wandering through the strange, abandoned warehouse for a few more minutes until I heard a crashing sound from one of the other rooms.

What was that!?[/justify]

III

[justify]As I crept through the sprawled out rooms of the large warehouse, my heart continued to beat heavily against my chest. Despite my sincerest efforts to keep quiet in this expedition, the Porygon which followed me was being none too helpful.

"Porygon," it cried loudly.

I placed my right arm into Porygon accidentally, which I‘m certain it bumped into, "Shh!," I hissed, turning around as the Porygon flashed a bright white. "Wha?," my monosyllabic expression of confusion. The Porygon reshaped itself into something more sleek, but still cried out the same name as before.

"Porygon."

I quietly scanned the Pokemon with my Pokedex to see if there was something unusual about it, "Porygon2: the evolved form of Porygon," it said. How original, "Silph Co., in the year 2000, invented a device called an ‘Up-grade’ that, when paired with a Porygon, completely reshapes it and grants it more abilities."

That’s interesting, I thought to myself, but how did it evolve without an Up-grade? I looked over at the cross shape etched into the palm of my metal hand as my heart began to beat faster and faster than it was before. I don’t know… what is going on… with me…[/justify]

IV

[justify]Keeping my mind at ease, I continued my trek through the cold, dark building with Porygon2 at my side. I stepped into a long hallway; the walls were littered with various portraits of different people that I had never, or never planned to have, met in my life. They looked somewhat familiar, but I didn’t care too much. I continued walking until I reached a chestnut brown door which looked as if it belonged to an important room; I heard some gruff voices inside.

"You wanna be any louder, Louse!?," the first, gruff voice reprimanded.

"Relax," came the other, "it’s not like anyone’s here, aight?"

I heard them continue to rummage through whatever it was they were rummaging through whilst I opened the large door in front of me. Another loud screeching sound was heard; no doubt the two grunts on the other side heard it as well.

"Whose there!?," the first voice demanded.

Even though I thought previously that my heart couldn’t possibly beat faster than it had, I was quite incorrect. I stepped into the room cautiously as I stared the two musky men down. One was tall and lanky--he looked to be the smart one; the other was short and rotund--the dumb one. They were a team of clichés. They each wore a black jumpsuit properly fitted for their varied sizes; on their left breast was a strange, unfamiliar red mark of what appeared to be a dog’s head spliced with that of a human‘s. My concentration at this point was too far gone for me to really delve further into details.

The two men who stood at the other side of this room were poised an arrogant, staring me down as if I were some weak kid who needed to go back to his mommy, "Why are you here!?," I demanded from them, hoping that my booming voice would send a message to them.

"I asked you first," the tall, lanky man jeered.

Neither of us willing to give in to the other’s demands, I watched as both of them mindlessly hurled two maroon-colored Poke Balls to the ground; emerging from the flashing light emitted from the two balls were two familiar, yet powerful-looking, Pokemon.

"C’mon out, Magmar!," announced the tall character dressed in black.

"You too, Marowak!," Louse cried out.

The two Pokemon that emerged from their respective Poke Balls were fierce looking. One looked like a human-shaped volcano whilst the other looked as if it were a large, brown lizard with a large bone in his hand. I looked down at the only Pokemon that came with me--the Porygon2. It looked very calm even in this situation; I had no choice but to try and use it. "Porygon2," I pleaded, "do something…"

Porygon2 closed its eyes and began to hum violently. The sound waves ricocheted off the walls sporadically, which didn’t seem to help my situation whatsoever. Marowak simply chucked his large, ivory bone at the electronic bird whilst Magmar made his way over to me, with his eyes slammed shut. I felt an eerie sensation wrap over me; a blue-colored aura enveloped me, carrying me high into the air. I tried to move around; I tried to scream out, but no words came; no limbs moved. I didn’t know what was going to happen to me. Porygon2 had been disoriented by the large bone, so I don’t think it’d be that helpful right now.

For a few moments I stayed lofted in the air; paralyzed by Magmar’s psychosis. Then I watched as a volley of three white stars jetted through the air. The swift attack scraped across Magmar’s fiery flesh, forcing him to lose his concentration. I fell to the ground and looked all over, "Starmie!?" Four Pokemon joined me in the large room, Starmie, the two Metang, and Beldum.

The five of them joined together in a line, staring down their two opponent’s. The two trainers, one lanky, one round, looked at them with a nasty sweat pouring down their faces. It would seem that I wouldn’t be going down so easily.

"Magmar, Flamethrower!"

Magmar took a deep breath, then quickly fired out a nice chain of fire towards me. Starmie quickly reacted, shooting out a fast Water Gun which immediately doused the flames before they could even hit me, "Nice work, Starmie," I congratulated as I watched the hot steam loft higher into the air, "now pair up with the other Pokemon and use a joint Psychic attack!’"

The five Pokemon consecutively slammed their eyes shut; I presumed that they were concentrating heavily on the two Pokemon which my unknown attackers called out. I watched as both the Magmar and the Marowak were enveloped by the same blue aura that I was attacked with earlier. In a swift motion, both Pokemon were slammed harshly into the wall.

"They felled… our Pokemon…" Louse said weakly.

"Let’s get outta here!," the other man said in a tone that matched his cowardice-influenced ally.

The two men dressed in black quickly withdrew their Pokemon and ran out of the room. A confident smirk was placed on my features until I heard a steady applause coming from deeper in the room. Confused, I wandered over to the source of the noise and found another, much more intimidating, man sitting in an old chair.

"Well done," he jeered. His garb wasn’t the same as the other two. He wore a white button-up shirt with black slacks. His hair was long and brown, and his eyes were shielded by a pair of red-shaded lenses. His hands were covered by white leather gloves which also bared the same red symbol I saw pasted on the other men’s left breast.

"Who are you," I quipped.

"Who am I, you say," he scoffed, "you could say that I’m one of the higher-ups."

I didn’t accept his pitiful answer, "Who are you," I demanded once more.

"Fine," he mused, "if you really want to know so badly. They call me the Eriketeru Chimera…, and this place is known as the Nest of Un-life."

"The Nest of Un-life?"

"Indeed," he replied while stepping out of his chair, "it is an abandoned factory that was once used to manufacture fake Pokemon such as Porygon and Beldum."

"Then why are you here if it is abandoned?," I asked.

"Our business here is our own," he retorted, "and if you want any further information, then you’ll have to beat it out of me." He stood tall and arrogant; when he snapped his fingers, he produced something that I’d never thought I’d see from a human. Flaring from his leather glove was a light cackling of electricity. The Eriketeru snapped his fingers once more and produced a much larger shot of electricity flowing directly into Starmie.

"Hya!," he cried as he fell to the ground.

"Starmie, return," I announced, quickly withdrawing the large starfish into his respective Poke Ball. My heart began to pound into my chest harder and faster than ever now; I had no idea how to react to such a situation. "Metang," I said, desperately struggling for some sort of idea, "use Psychic to hold him down!"

Metang cried out, "Metang!," whilst it closed its eyes and concentrated harshly on the Eriketeru’s right hand. The gloved hand continued to produce electricity which snapped all around the room. Metang wasn’t strong enough and clearly this man, whatever he was, was definitely. In a hasty action, I had thrust my metal arm out of its hidden position; the black trench that rested along my right shoulder eased its way to the ground, only being held up by my sleeved left hand.

The Eriketeru gazed at it in awestruck, halting his attack. "So I see," he said to himself quietly.

"What is it!?," I yelled to him.

He merely smirked arrogantly, "You bare the mark of the Redeemer," he paused for effect, "I truly am no match for you."

"What are you talking about," I reprimanded. The strange man influenced with electricity gave me no response as he cockily left the room and presumably stepped outside of the large warehouse.[/justify]

V

[justify]"So I guess this is good-bye then, Metang," I asked to my silver Pokemon.

"Meh, metang," it cried negatively.

Confused, I didn’t know what to think. Both the blue and the silver Metang began conversing to themselves, almost as if they were saying good-bye to one another. It was no doubt that the silver one wanted to go with me on my journey. Before I could withdraw in into his Poke Ball, both of them shouted to me, "Metang!"

"What?," I asked them.

Their claws connected together, and they both exhausted a bright white light. I gaped at the sight, enthralled as both the Metang reshaped into something much larger; combined together into something far greater, the new merged creature’s bright light faded away. It was a mixture of a blue and silver color; it cried out to me, "Metagross."

"Metagross?," I questioned blankly.

Doing what I normally did, I pulled out my shiny, red-colored Pokedex and scanned the new Pokemon, "Metagross: the evolved form of Metang," it chirped, "Metagross uses its two hyper-developed brains to concert with one another and perform marvelous psychic attacks. It is said that Metagross’ IQ can equal that of a normal human being."

Wow, a Pokemon with the intelligence of a human, I thought to myself.[/justify]

VI

[justify]I walked by myself through the sun-parched pathway; Metagross and Starmie had been previously withdrawn into their respective Poke Balls earlier in the day, and I really need to get to a Pokemon Center. A dirty bead of sweat rolled down my cheeks as I heard a quiet chirping sound. What was that?, I wondered.

I looked down and found that the Porygon2 had been following me all this time, "Porygon2?"

"Pory…gon…"

"You really need to stay at the Nest, Porygon2," I said smoothly, "the other Pokemon there need a leader. And I think that you’d protect them very well."

"Pory…gon…"

It must’ve believed me as it quickly turned around and darted back to the abandoned warehouse. If it was a normal Pokemon, I’m certain it would be tearing up right now. I have that effect.[/justify]

What's Up Next:
-a tournament
-a familiar character
-more reasons to be confused

[Darien Shields]

I just finished chapter... I think it was 3. Not sure. You don't write the number of your chapters. I'm still not caught up.

Are you going to continue this, now that the boards are back? I haven't been paying attention, but I don't think any of these chapters are new since the renewed boards.

Anyway... Hmm, another character, and you introduced Winry. Oh, no, wait, Reeb. Female. Blond. Mechanic. Young and Pretty. Totally different from Winry. And you're actually calling the cybernetic limbs "Auto Mail"? I said it before as a joke, to highlight the similarities between this and FMA, but I really think you're taking a little more than inspiration from it now!

Maybe it's the head-ache talking, but this last chapter leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It's not some sort of subtle aspect that is missing- it's the obvious. Short on description, short on emotion, short on everything. You didn't describe any new pokemon, the battle descriptions were sub-par (note: Sleep Powder is traditionally blue, while stun-spore is yellow. But who cares about semantics when there are much more glaring flaws?), and you didn't really go into much detail of the behaviours or suchlike of the characters, particularly Hawthorne and Reeb. And also the fact that our little goth is developing a crush doesn't fit into his character properly. You've portrayed him as a loner, someone who hates humanity, and he's growing a 'heart of gold' too quickly.

And Hawthorne is a bit of a rubbish trainer. It's obvious even if you're not a trainer that Metapod can't move.

The conversations are very stilted, and don't seem realistic. Yet again you're lacking human response.

This is first person PoV, so the lack of descriptions of pokemon or suchlike is forgivable to a certain extent, but you should be making up for it by dolopping on the human response, emotion, and inner monologues, which you're not. Hawthorne recites this in about as much detail as he would a trip to the grocery store.

Buck Up. This needs improvement.

[Darien Shields]

Finished. Although I daresay at this point I'm paying more attention than the author... has anyone seen the Arbiter? Does he know the new forum address? Well, anyway, I'll go on.

Hmm, well, the plot is quite interesting. Sadly it's the best thing about this fic. The writing and edittign could use a lot of work, as could the characterisation. It's also suffered a bit from the new forum codes. Not your fault, but you might want to clean it up.

To make a complex metaphor... the plot of a fic is its skeleton. The characters are like its organs. And then the writing style is like the skin on top of it. While this fic has some lovely gleaming white bones, there's little connected to them. A few weak glands twitching arbitrarilly, and a thin translucent skin hanging over it.

So you ought to practive your skills! Put some meat on those bones!