Eh, figured that people post their poems in order for people to actually say something about them. So this will be a long list of comments for all the poems on this page.

Kiss Goodbye: I can't really relate with the ideas (I don't drink myself), but the rhythm to the poem was really nice and strong. And the style suits the content nicely.

Nameless: Beautiful, especially the third stanza. The metaphors really show the fragility of the relationship. it seems to be bordering between emotional prose and poetry, but that's a point of comment; I believe that poetry is in the eye of the beholder *coughclichecough*, and that no one can say "this is poetry" or "this isn't poetry". Anyway, good stuff.

PancaKe's untitled poem: Wow. The words have been carefully chosen to cut... or maybe that's just my strange obsession with angsty stuff. Anyway, a different side of you really comes out when you write poetry, and your writing seems to be influenced by the music you listen to. I think. Anyway, hope you continue the poem. The fragment in your sig is very powerful, I thought they were actual song lyrics from somewhere at first.

Shakespearonimics: lol, that was an amusing read. You should try a sonnet or something next time. And I did understand most of it, no worries, heh.

dh's untitled poem: I hate to say this, but I don't quite get it, so no comment.

Schadenfreude (what does that mean?): Same comment as aboe regarding the rhythm, and strong contrast/oxymorons used well. Although I don't seem to quite get their symbolic purpose (assuming the speaker isn't drunk, which is the only thing I can think of at the moment).

Leon-IH's untitled poem: Very strong message I do agree that religion isn't an excuse for genocide. But I thought the rhyming was a bit strained, like sometimes it seemed words were used jsut to make things rhyme. Or maybe that's jsut nitpicking or me seeing things where they don't exist. Meh.

Okay, now that I'm done with that, now onto my own poem, the only thing I've written this whole year. Was written as a prospective song, only no melody yet. So enjoy (oh yeah, highly influenced by haikus, random angsty, twisted minds and whatnot.) (Stuff in grey is whispered background stuff that won't actually be sung.)

Song of a Twisted Angel

Close your eyes, my child
May you never shed a tear
more than you need to

Threatening devils
The epitome of darkness
Cannot touch your smile

The evils of hell
Won't affect an innocent child...
Who's already dead

Am I a saviour or a killer?

Please forgive me, girl
Your mother, your murderer
I did it all for you...
to save you from evil
Turned your face to heaven
Away from the burning flames
Forever reflected in my eyes...

I'm crying form shame
My last memory of you
Frightened beyond words

Hazel eyes of mine
World of triggers reflected...
Hair smeared with our blood

It had to happen
Flames were lapping at your feet
But your lifeless gaze...

Am I a saviour or a killer?

Please forgive me, girl
Your mother, your murderer
I did it all for you
To save you from evil
Turned your face to heaven
Away from the burning flames
Forever reflected in my eyes...

Confusion
Strangling my conscience
Blind emotion
Flooding my soul...

Fallen angel, lost her wings
Blown towards eternal damnation
Better to die than to be burnt alive

But oh, my daughter, how I love you...

Please forgive me, girl
Your mother, your murderer
I don't know what I can do
No redemption for such evil
The past can't be undone
But as you watch me burn in flames
You might just realize...

Perhaps you might understand