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Thread: Yu-Gi-Oh: The Six Avatars

  1. #41
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    Default Re: Yu-Gi-Oh: The Six Avatars

    Ok guys, time for a new chappie.
    I'm in your dimensions, screwing with your reality!


  2. #42
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    Default Re: Yu-Gi-Oh: The Six Avatars

    Chapter 6: The Offer

    It had been a few days after the tournament and Forte and Reece’s promised trip to Domino was only one day away. The pair had everything they needed packed, so all that was left to do was wait.

    The previous days had gone uneventful, except for the usual fangirls rining him up to ask for a date (Forte often wondered how they managed to his phone number).

    However, on the night before their trip, the two had an unexpected run-in with Rose.

    Forte and Reece were having on last round of drinks before heading for Japan when she came along. At first, the pair didn’t say anything. It started off as a glaring contest with the occasional insult now and again. But then Legato had to make a joke about the two acting like an old married couple. The reaction he got from the two eventually led to a more heated argument and almost broke out into a fight. Thankfully, Legato intervened before anything happened and Rose left.

    But not before giving Forte a punch to his right eye.

    This was the second black eye this week, and both came from the same girl. Needless to say, Forte’s pride had been knocked down a knotch, mainly because she left before Forte could get her back for it.

    “You ok Forte?” Reece asked as the two walked down the hall towards Forte’s apartment.

    “I’ll be fine,” Forte replied as they reached the door, “It’ll probably be gone by tomorrow so thankfully noone will see it.” He didn’t feel like explaining his previous black eye and he didn’t want to explain this one.

    “Well, ok dude,” Reece shrugged, “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

    “Yeah,” Forte opened the door, “The taxi will be around at about eight thirty so remember to be up and ready by then.”

    “Right.”

    Forte mentally chuckled as he fought back an amused smile. He figured Reece, being the slacker he was, would sleep in, end up rushing to get ready and they’ll end up late at the airport. Tough Forte didn’t feel like saying that to his friend’s face.

    “See you tomorrow then.”

    “Alright. Bye dude.”

    “See ya.”

    Forte watched as his friend turned and walked down the hallway before heading inside his apartment.

    His apartment wasn’t a bad little place. It cartainly wasn’t anything too luxurious, but it was decent. It comprised of a conjoined kitchen and living room, a bedroom and a small bathroom.

    He headed over to his fridge to see what he could have as a small snack before bed. He pulled out a piece of pizze from another night and a half drunken bottle of beer he had left over. After heating up the pizza and finishing his little snack, he quickly brished his teeth and headed to the bedroom. He took off his coat (he didn’t wear an undershirt underneath it), gloves and boots, flopped onto the bed and was soon asleep. It was a warm night so he couldn’t be bothered getting comfortable.

    --------------~*~-------------

    It was one of Forte’s usual dreams. Him and Reece, sitting around a pull behind a large mansion, getting served by hot babes in coconut bikinis (and not the crazy fangirl type either).

    Forte took a sip of his drink and leaned back on the deck chair.

    “This is the life ain’t it Reece?” he laughed. Reece just replied with a thumbs up.

    “Oh Mister Angelo.”

    Forte looked over to see a girl so beautiful that she couldn’t possibly be real. He just smiled smuggly.

    “What is it babe?” he asked. The woman leaned in close.

    “You and I need to talk,” she spoke in a voice that clearly wasn’t her own. It was a man’s voice. Forte’s eyes widened.

    “What?”

    Suddenly, everything around him shattered. Forte found himself floating in endless black. He noticed his clothes had changed too. He was wearing the pair of black pants he had worn to bed, but apart from that, he was naked.

    He could feel his feet touch the ground, but wherever he looked, all Forte could see was black. He could still see himself, but nothing else.

    “This has got to be,” Forte muttered to himself, “The wierdest dream I’ve ever had.”

    “I assure you mister Angelo that this is no dream.”

    Forte looked over in the direction of the voice. Standing not far from him were two people.

    One was a man sitting in a wheelchair. He caught Forte’s attention at first. He had short black hair which hung over his face. His skin was pale and his face pretty thin. He wore a dark coloured, and simple outfit. He wore a black turtle-neck shirt, a dark blue jacket over it with matching pants and shoes. Behind a pair of oval rimmed glasses, he had yellow eyes which seemed to be staring holes through Forte.

    Next to him was a rather attractive woman. She had long blonde hair and her face was rather beautiful, depsite the pale complexion. She wore a dark coloured business outfit and a simple black hat. Her emerald eyes showed no emotion at all, as well has the rest of her face, which made Forte think of her as a bit creepy.

    “Who are you?” Forte asked, a bit creeped out by all this.

    The woman spoke, her voice flat and void of all emotion.

    “I am Sophitia,” she introduced herself, before raising a hand towards the man in the wheelchair, “And this is my master, Lord Hikawa.”

    The man nodded his head in response and a small smile appeared on his face. Before Forte could reply, Sophitia continued.

    “Forgive us from pulling you from your fantasy, but my master has an offer he’d like to make you.”

    Forte looked over at Hikawa, a bit curious as to what this offer was.

    “Forte,” Hikawa spoke, his voice was soft, yet full of strength and authority, “I represent a, very exclusive group of duellists. We call ourselves the Heavenly Kings.”

    “Never heard of it,” Forte responded flatly. Hikawa chuckled softly.

    “We’re not a very well known group, but rest assured our members are world class duellists. We come from all over the globe.”

    “So what’s this offer?” Forte asked, half knowing what Hikawa was going to say.

    “Isn’t it obvious?” he replied, “I’m extending an invitation to join our group.”

    Forte was silent for a few moments.

    Hmm, interesting. This dream isn’t so bad after all.

    Hikawa’s eyes narrowed.

    “I’ve told you before Forte,” he said with a bit of irritation in his voice, “This is not a dream!”

    As if to prove a point, his eyes flashed and a sharp pain shot up Forte’s spine, causing the eighteen year old to flinch.

    Wait a minute. Isn’t it supposed to be impossible to feel pain in dreams? And how did this guy know what I was thinking.

    “Let’s just say that I’m a man of many talents,” Hikawa said, as if he was responding to his thoughts.

    Forte was now officially creeped out. This guy could apparently read his thoughts and as much as Forte wanted to believe this was all a dream, he was growing doubtful of that fact.

    “So, what do you say Forte,” Hikawa asked, extending a hand towards the lavender haired teen, “Will you join us?”

    There was still one thing Forte was curious to know about. He smirked, tryin to cover up the fact he was obviously spooked.

    “I want to know something first,” he asked in his usual cocky voice, “What have I done to earn this honour?” Hikawa’s smile broadened.

    “I figured you would have already figured that out by now. We saw your performance at the tournament and we believe you’re an excellent addition to our group.”

    Forte felt himself calm down. This didn’t seem so bad.

    “However,” Hikawa continued, “I wont lie to you, but there’s another reason why we want you. It’s a particular card you hold.”

    Forte raised an eyebrow.

    “A card?”

    “Why yes. I believe you know it.”

    Hikawa waved his hand and an image of a duel monster appeared between them. It was particular monster Forte couldn’t forget.

    “Overfiend Mephisto?” Forte muttered to himself. Hikawa nodded, thinking that question was directed at him.

    “Yes. You don’t know how important that card is Forte. With it’s power and your skill, we could almost be unstoppable,” he extended his hand once again, “So, what do you say?”

    Forte thought about this. There was still something bothering him about this. He had a feeling this offer had more to do with the card then himself. The memory of the old man flashed in his mind.

    “You can’t let them get it!” he had said, “Don’t let them get it!”

    Forte noticed Hikawa frown. He was clearly reading his thoughts and he didn’t like what he was seeing. Forte was beginning to have a bad feeling about this guy, especially if he was who he thought he was. A casual expression appeared on Forte’s features.

    “Thanks for the offer,” he repliedf, “but no thanks. I prefer to duel alone,” he smirked, “not much of a group person, you understand.”

    Hikawa’s furrowed a brow.

    “Are you sure?”

    “Yep. But hey, maybe if I’ll duel you guys some time.”

    “More sooner then you think,” Hikawa mumbled. Forte raised an eyebrow.

    “What?”

    Hikawa didn’t reply. Instead he waved his hand, Fort felt something grab him from behind and pull him away from the two at breakneck speed. Forte’s vision went completely white.

    --------------~*~--------------

    “Hey! Bossman! Wake up!”

    Forte stirred slightly and groaned, trying to ignore the voice.

    “Hey, Forte! Wake up!”

    Forte assumed it was Reece and groaned again.

    Don’t tell me I overslept. Reece is the kind fo guy to do that, not me.

    “Wake up!”

    That’s when Forte noticed that the voice didn’t belong to Reece. He couldn’t recognise it, but it sounded familier.

    “Wake up Dammit!”

    “Who the…?” Forte muttered as he slowly opened his eyes. All he could see was a pair of green, cat like eyes staring back at him.

    Forte gave a surprised yelp and jumped back, thinking someone had broken into his apartment while he slept, but he slowly paled when he got a good look at the person before him.

    There, sitting, or rather floating above his bed, was the duel monster Overfiend Mephisto. He didn’t seem to have his scythe on him and he had a large, smug grin on his face.

    “About time you woke up,” he spoke, holding back a snicker. Forte only stared at him for a few moments before shaking his head.

    “That’s it,” he muttered, “no more beer and old pizza before bed.”

    Mephisto looked hurt and then let out a sigh of annoyance.

    “Let’s get one thing straight Forte. I’m not a figment of your imagination! I am NOT a halucination caused by all the alchahol you drank! I am real! Get used to it or I’ll go Chaos Nightmare on your ass!”

    Forte blinked a few times, his mind still debating whether or not the being before him was real or not.

    “Ok,” Forte said finally, “Let’s just say you’re real and not an illusion, all I have to say is: What the hell man!? Why is there a friggen Duel Monster in my bedroom!? You guys aren’t even real!

    Mephisto was a bit taken aback by Forte’s outburst, but then let out an amused laugh.

    “Well, obviously we are, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”

    “You could be a halucination.”

    Mephisto gave the lavender haired teen a cold glare.

    “What did I just say?”

    Forte backed away, raising his hands defensivelly.

    “Okay, okay. So, what are you doing here?”

    Mephisto grinned.

    “Well, apparently, I’ve been asleep for the last five thousand years and you woke me up. I just wanted to have a little chat with the man who’s my new boss.”

    Forte blinked a few times, trying to absorb all of this.

    “Asleep? You mean your card’s been around for five thousand years!?”

    Mephisto laughed.

    “No. Though it’s strange, the last memory I have was five thousand years ago, then all of a sudden my being’s tied to a card and you’re my boss. It’s all pretty confusing.”

    Mephisto then cupped his chin in his hand and began to think.

    “Maybe the same thing happened to the others as well,” he murmered. The caught Forte’s interest.

    “Others?”

    Before Mephisto could respond, there was a loud honking outside. Forte walked over to the window and saw a taxi parked outside the building. Reece climbed out and looked up at Forte’s window. Upon seeing his friend, he waved.

    “You ready yet?” he called.

    “We’ll finish this later,” Mephisto’s voice came from behind Forte. Forte turned to respond, but stepped back when he noticed that Mephisto was no longer there.

    Was he real? Or some freaky halucination.

    “Forte?”

    Forte jumped slightly, noticing that he still just wearing a pair of pants.

    “Give me a few minutes!” Forte called before rushing off to get changed and ready.

    --------------~*~--------------

    At Adelaide airport, the man in the trenchcaot leaned against the wall near one of the boarding gates, occasionally takign a sip from a can of coke he bought.

    As he finished off his drink, his cellphone began ringing. He quickl answered.

    ”Are you there?”

    “Yes sir. All I have to do now is wait.”

    ”You know what flight he’s going to be on?”

    “Of course.”

    ”Good. You know what to do.”

    “Yes sir. I’ll contact you once I’ve collected the Avatar.”

    And with that, he hung up. It wouldn’t be long now before his plan would be set into motion.

    Forte here. Well, Reece and I finally are finally going to Japan, but like so many other things in life, fate screws us over.

    Me and Reece have seen a lot of guys who wish they were like us, but this next guy is just plain rediculous. If you’re curious, stick around for the next chapter It’s All About Me. Hope to see you there.

    I'm in your dimensions, screwing with your reality!


  3. #43
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    Default Re: Yu-Gi-Oh: The Six Avatars

    Well, I dunno what to say. It was a filler chapter, but at least we got introduced to the villains. (I know those guys are the antagonists).

    MC, always preview your chapters before you post them. You forgot to close an italics.

    Anyway, I look forward to the next duel. See you then.

    - DS

  4. #44
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    Default Re: Yu-Gi-Oh: The Six Avatars

    Meh...it was OK for a filler chapter. Like DS, said we got to see who the main villain is for your story.

    Also, as DS mentioned, proofread your work before you post it. I noticed you missed some of the formatting tags and I believe you kept the italics tag a bit longer than you intended during the conversation between Forte and Mephisto.

    Well, hopefully the next chapter will be better.

    -sean

  5. #45
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    Default Re: Yu-Gi-Oh: The Six Avatars

    This isn't a review, as I can't think of anything to say, but more of a mild complaint.

    Could Julian Gaust have been MORE of a rip-off of Faust VIII from Shaman King? (The answer: only if he opened his coat and there was a large blue patch of skin stitched to his torso...)

    Then again, given what I plan to do in my next work, I'm not one to talk...
    The Place That Is No More - Because the world needed to hear me rant and rave.

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  6. #46
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    Default Re: Yu-Gi-Oh: The Six Avatars

    What an interestin chapter! Looks like we're going to have another plane hijacking, sort of like Kane did to Lina in my story!

    This story is getting most interesting. Keep it up.
    Quote Originally Posted by Zorak
    Ever wonder what it'd be like if a person who could barely speak English were to rom-hack one of the Pokemon games, replace the characters, plot, and Pokemon with ones of his own creation, while at the same time making a terrible mockery of the English language as a whole?

    Of course not. Because that'd suck really, really hard. Unfortunately, even though you didn't think about it, this guy did.

  7. #47
    The destroyer of worlds Elite Trainer
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    Default Re: Yu-Gi-Oh: The Six Avatars

    I've decided I'm going stop the story for a time being. It's pretty clear I need to put a lot more thought into this, so I'm going to stop and do just that. Don't expect any more chapters because when I've got this all figured out, I'll restart it.

    Sorry for wasting your time and all this space.
    I'm in your dimensions, screwing with your reality!


  8. #48
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    Default Re: Yu-Gi-Oh: The Six Avatars

    I don't know why you would think such a thing and even do such a thing. Other than MoP, I believe almost every other reviewer here liked your story. Other than a few edits here and there that we pointed out, we thought that it was really good. I hope you manage to rethink about what you're doing and continue working on this story, cause personally, other than Sister of Anansi and TYD, this was the only other story that I liked to read.

    -sean

  9. #49
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    Default Re: Yu-Gi-Oh: The Six Avatars

    I just think I could write this better. I'm not giving up on it entirely. I'm going to go over it again, possibly change a few things, try to make the duels a bit more interesting (I feel I could do better in that area). I'm just trying to work out a few kinks out before starting over.
    I'm in your dimensions, screwing with your reality!


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