Website address where I got the theme song, even though it does not exist anymore: http://planet-futurama.piranho.com/sounds.htm Credit to the guy who got it.


Chapter 5: Not So Scroogy Anymore?

“Merry Christmas, one and all!”

That was Brian yelling in his loudest and joyous voice. He was standing in front of the gates of his mansion.

“Shuddup, you moron!” a man’s voice yelled.

“Yes! Yes! Back to you too!” Brian yelled back, still in his loudest and joyous voice.

Before he came out of his mansion, he had a realisation that the only reason why his so-called friends were so happy almost all the time was because they were crazy unlike him. So, for once, he decided to make a checklist of things to do on that day, which was Christmas Day. Firstly, before he left his mansion, he had ordered a bunch of things from the ebay.com on the internet to give to his ‘friends’ and family. Luckily for him, the large crate of presents fell in front of his mansion and not on top of him.

Now with the crate next to him, he looked around, looking for someone to assist him carrying the large crate. He was in luck; he found two familiar people and a pokemon in rugged clothing and motioned them to come over. They were none other than Jessie, James and Meowth. He politely asked them to help him drag the crate to the Tuskbourne residence, where they would be holding a Christmas Day party. It was next to his mansion.

It took some time for them to their destination. In exchange for their assistance, Brian decided gave them a ‘humble’ reward. “Here you go, five hundred dollars each for helping me move this crate,” Brian said, handing them some money. “Oh, and here’s a couple of bucks for your trouble.”

The rockets gasped in awe when they received their reward. “Oh, my gosh!” James said. “A couple of bucks!”

While the trio counted their money, Brian knocked on door and waited for someone to answer. Soon, someone from the other opened it, revealing to be Maggie Tuskbourne. She was shocked to see him. “Brian Powell!? (BONG!)ing Brian Powell!?” she yelled angrily. “What the (NONO!) do you want, you arrogant (BUZZ!)!?”

“I came here to celebrate with you guys,” Brian replied with a smile on his face. “Christmas is a joyous occasion of course.”

“(Brian, what are you doing here)?” Tony growled, walking up to Maggie Tuskbourne from behind. “(And what’s with the crate)?”

“This crate has a bunch of presents inside, one for each person we know and love,” Brian said pointing his thumb at the large box behind him.

Tony’s eyes widened with shock and disbelief. “Okay, stranger,” Tony said suspiciously. “Who are you and what did you do to my boss?”

“Tony, it’s me.”

“Prove it.”

“Tony and… Toni,” Brian said with a sly smile on his face.

A red blush appeared on Tony’s face, showing his embarrassment. “(Me and my big mouth),” he growled to himself while turning away, convinced that Brian was actually there.

Everyone in the mansion was also shocked that Brian was also there. They all knew that he was normally a cold-hearted man who hated Christmas. Upon Brian’s and the Rockets’ entry into the house, they all asked what made he have a change of heart. “Let’s just say… I had a vision and a realisation of things,” he said.

Brian gave out a bunch of presents to each guest of the party such as Bill Fireman receiving a children’s dictionary and a book called ‘Reading for Idiots’, which he had trouble opening both books let alone reading them.

Jerry the Pesky Pichu was the only pokemon left to be given a present. He saw him leaning his chest on a yellow, wingless, dragon-like creature called an Ampharos and walked over to them. He patted Jerry on the head, catching their attention. “(Hi, Brian),” Jerry squeaked after turning towards him. “I thought you weren’t coming).”

“Change of mind, Jerry,” Brian replied before turning his attention to the Ampharos, who had a sad look on her face. “Hi, Shelly, liked you in ‘Buddies’.”

Shelly let out some whimpers and whining. “(Shelly’s boyfriend went out of town the other day to help make a movie),” Jerry squeaked sympathetically before he and Brian noticed some electricity started to spark on Shelly’s antennas. “(Er… Brian, I think now would be a good that you get out those presents right now),” Jerry squealed in fear.

“I’m on it,” Brian said before rushing out of the room and coming back with a present in hand. It appeared to be a DVD. The package showed a picture of the cast of ‘Mr. and Mrs. Biff’; two Quagsires, one was wearing a pink bow on her head.

“(Mr. and Mrs. Biff)…” Shelly whimpered getting all teary eyed. “(That male Quagsire… Flabby… he’s my… ex-boyfriend).”

Jerry’s and Brian’s eyes widened, knowing what they had inadvertently just done. “Um… calm down, Shelly,” Brain said nervously. “No one should be sad on Christmas.”

“(I’m sorry but I can’t help it. He’s more successful than me… he’s more popular than me… he’s got more money than me)…” Shelly continued choking on each sentence as her sparks became more aggressive.

Knowing what was going to happen, Jerry gave Brian a small frown. “(Good going),” he squeaked in a down tone. As expected, powerful sparks were shot out of Shelly’s body, spreading all over the mansion and shocking everyone that got in the way until an explosion occurred. Team Rocket was sent flying out of the mansion and into the air while their hard earned money fell out of their pockets, much to their horror.

“Waah!!” James cried with streams of tears came running down his face. “Our money!!”

“How come the other characters aren’t being blown away?” Jessie complained with her arms folded.

“Brian can’t help it,” Meowth said sternly. “He’s the author of this fic and he likes it when stuff like this happens on the anime.”

“But it’s Christmas! We should be happy too!” Jessie cried. “Why can’t those writers give us a break!”

A blue blob seemingly appeared out of nowhere, placing his paw on his head. “Wobbuffet!” he croaked loudly.

“Team Rocket’s blasting off again!!” the three yelled.

“Wobbuffet!” the blue blob croaked again before they be came out of sight.

Back at the Tuskbourne residence, the dust and smog cleared and everyone was knocked down to the floor after receiving electric shocks. Shelly was the only one who wasn’t hurt. Everything in the house was in ruins and shambles, covered with dust, dirt and burnt marks. Maggie was the first to get up to her feet, now with an angry look in her eyes. “Brian! You massive fat (IMBECILE!)ing (NONONO!)!” she yelled angrily. “You (EE-HE!)ing ruined my house, you (CHIBI!)ing (POP!)er!! Right, dad!?” she yelled before turning towards Fuzzy.

Fuzzy sat up and babbled a bunch of things, which no one understood apart from a couple words they managed to catch, ‘(DOPE!)ing mad’.

“Okay, people, I apologise,” Brian said as he stood up. “I’ll pay for everything. I know how upset you all are but Christmas and every other holiday is the time for being happy. Now what do you guys want me to do to make you guys happy?”

Everyone narrowed their eyes at him… Brian could only think of the worst.


*Cue the ‘Odd Couple’ theme*

They had chosen to spend the Christmas Day celebration at his house. It was now night time, everyone was having a fun time, playing games, drinking, eating and all. His irritating parents arrived at the mansion, as he expected. After greeting each other, and some sloppy kisses from his mother, the now depressed Brian let them in. “Can I go through at least one Christmas without any mishap?” he mumbled to himself after they went through. “Can I cope with these guys before I go insane?”

He suddenly heard some crashing and glass shattering from the inside; he was slightly fazed by the noise. “You didn’t like that expensive widescreen TV, did you, Brian?” he heard Bill’s voice say over the loud cheesy music being played in the background.

“I’m Maggie, you (LALA!)ing fat (FRED!)” Maggie’s voice yelled, which was followed by a sound of some wooden table slamming.

“Maybe not,” Brian mumbled to himself, predicting what was coming next such as his mother talking about him being dressed in some fairy costume. He looked down and spotted a worm slithering towards him. “Buzz off,” he grumbled crossly before kicking it away into the night sky, not caring what the future lies ahead of him anymore.

He walked back inside his mansion, only to be met with Jerry who squeaked, “(Brian, have you seen my pet worm)?”


END!


Brian’s speech/message:
Ladies and gents, over the past twelve months, there have been things both alarming and concerning. Being serious, people and animals alike are suffering a number of different hardships: getting involved in current wars, problems concerning their loved ones like losing them, problems with their work and/or studies and others. What you saw in the entire fic reflects some of my personality and what I can be like as a person, but I’m not like that all the time. I’m sometimes like that because I had hard times of my own like everyone else.

Even though I’m not a Christian or anything, I celebrate Christmas because I feel that it’s the time to spend with your family and friends. But Christmas isn’t the only holiday I know at this time of year that people celebrate. There’s also Hanukah, Kwanza… I don’t know any other holiday names but still, I believe they have something in common and, like I said before, that it’s to spend time with the people that you love (they can irritating but you still got to love them). If you have loved ones who aren’t with you, remember that they’re with you in spirit and inside your heart.

I hope this fic brought much delights to everyone, whether you are a member of the forums or not. I thank you for reading and I wish you happy holidays, everyone. Happy new year too. It’s gonna suck but we’re gonna love it.