You've already heard my feedback, Dave. And I get a fair amount of the Zelda-knowledge credit, thank you
Since I've told you all the things I like already, Dave, such as Nether Amalgam's awesome name, the Metroid reference, and Culstin being my user character, I'm going to tell you what I didn't like. These little things were sparce, and very picky of me to find, but there's always gotta be something wrong ;0
One another twice in one sentence. Just doesn't flow, IMO.
Same thing here. Car twice.
The only other thing that I didn't like was Roy picking the piece of holographic metal out of his hair. A cool concept, and a nice way to sneak in a description of his hair, but, I don't really follow how some holographic can be touched. Of course, the holograms seem to be able to bring pain upon the duelists when they attack directly anyway, so I guess the entire concept is illogical, not the story. Anyway, great stuff man.
...glad I thought of it ¬¬'