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Zcade0/ Ryan Riverside, I guess: Reading can be Dangerous was an entertaining read. The repetition of the same scenari played out on differnet people reinforced the spookiness, although it did get a bit long. It was especially haunting how different members of the family were pursuer and pursued, villain and innocent. The structure was nice and simple which suited the narrative style; the rhyming seemed forced at times though, especially when resorting to using contractions like "killin'" to rhyme with "villain". Used well, rhyming doesn't stick out, but improves the flow and sound of the poem.

Gavin: I never thought I'd see you in here. Hehe I hope you're slowly being converted.

Woman of the Earth: mm, this is what I was talking about earlier. I love the sonnet rhyming scheme, and the way you've used it here really makes the poem flow and stick together. It's a great form for describing natural beauty (or I guess lack thereof). I didn't get what the poem was about at first; got to the middle, started rereading, and began to understand. Anyway, the poem has some good dramatic word choices and conveys a great respect for the earth (referring to it as 'you' was a good choice). I also liked how the rain was portrayed as the enemy, the destroyer, and yet it was hoped for (the narrator's wish, if I interpret it correctly?) The last two lines made a strong conclusion (once again, the couplet did help), a different perspective. The first line seemed a bit out of place though; I don't know, like it was there because you had written thirteen lines and needed another to make it fit the form. I was also confused with line 10, but then again understanding every word of a work has never been my forte; I usually just understand what I can and guess the rest.

Daimler: Well, I understand this poem, I guess, to the extent that you want me to understand it. The sentences are simple enough, but I get the feeling that as with all personal poems, after reading it I'm still missing something. Because real/ semi-fictional people can't be wrapped up nicely in sixteen lines. And you're not writing it for an audience but for yourself, so you want to write about what's important, not spend time explaining it to an audience. (I know I'm assuming a lot here, but hey you said it was cathartic, so I guess it's based on something in real life.) So that's my excuse for being confused (what/who is (a) Daimler?). Anyway, once again very striking word choices, making the poem a strong statement (despite there being no answers. I guess sometimes it's asking the right questions that requires strength.) I especially like lines 6-7 and 12-14. In terms of the sound of the poem, the rhythm sounds perfectly like prose, and when I try to read it aloud I get stuck on words. Meh. Doesn't mean it's not good in its own right. There's this change in attitude in stanza 4, and I didn't even notice this until the third reading or so, but changing from 'you' to 'I' in that stanza was well done to highlight that change. Meaning-wise, of course, I don't understand. I particularly liked the last line because although it was the end of the poem it was about a new beginning, which provided some hope in an otherwise downward-spiralling situation.

... that took a ridiculously long time.