I like the story idea and all, I really, truely do, but why don`t you try describing stuff a little more? Like the Pokéball, you could have described it from what Harry would have seen it as. Doing stuff like that keeps the attention of your readers longer. Word of warning if you take my advice: don`t do it too much, or people will become bored with your story.

I really, really want to see how this turns out, so I`ll be sticking around, and every now and then commenting. Hope you don`t mind ^^*

Keanna Roar AKA KRDC 03