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3rd December 2008, 07:29 AM
#1

Elite Trainer
Re: Rebirth (an original short story)
Awesome stuff. Somehow, I figured out the coliseum by the time I read about the bars... I think it was because it reminded me of minotaurs. The description of the setting worked really well, especially the parts with him groping in the dark -- you'd think that would be really hard to describe, but by focusing on his bewilderment and line of action in the dark, it worked. The varying lengths of the sentences and paragraphs (He was in a cave. There was a dinosaur at the only exit. In other words, he was fucked.) was striking and really drove the point home. And the penultimate paragraph... one of the most chilling things I've ever read. If this looping nightmare were hell, God would be damned sadistic.
mistysakura
2007 Golden Pens: Co-winner of Best Poem (Rain Eternal) and Best Reviewer
2007 Silver Pencils: Winner of Best Poem (Death Sonnet -- Untitled)
2004 Silver Pencils: Winner of Nicest Fanficcer & Least Likely Couple (with PancaKe)
Former 3-time winner of Most Dedicated Reader at the Fanfiction Forums
Also Keeper of the 'A'ctivator Unown
Brimstone Diamonds. The Artist. Tightrope. Solitude. Autopsy.
Glitter (one-shot).
Listen to
Rain Eternal -- a song.
Random thought: 2+2=5.
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