The captain of a ship was preparing for battle. His first mate told him that an enemy ship was approaching. The captain said, "Bring me my red shirt." The first mate looked at the captain puzzled and said, "Yes sir, but why?" The captain said to his first mate, "That way, if I get shot in the chest during the battle, my men will not see me bleed and they will keep fighting." The first mate found this to be quite noble.

After the battle was successful, the first mate again went to his captain and said, "Captain, 500 enemy ships approaching!". The captain replied, "Bring me my brown pants!"