It Still Sucks to be Us! (STARTS! Limited LSUs)

[Mystic_clown]

Warning:
The following contains randomness, clichés and the torture of characters. If you don’t like such things, find a more serious RPG. If you enjoy such things, get your head examined, or better yet, sign up for this thing!

A remake of a Mystic_clown and Asilynne production…

It Still Sucks to be Us!

It started out like a normal day at <yet to be named> apartments (look, we couldn’t think of a name ok? Don’t you judge me!!). Anyway, it started out like a normal day (well, as normal as these guys could get). Suddenly, out of nowhere, the ground began to shake, like a freak earthquake or something, which rocked the whole building. Lightning fell all over the place (yet for some bizarre reason, noone was hit) and the sky went from blue, to green, to red, to various shades of purple (ooo, pretty). Then everything began to melt and distort, like some kind of 1980s music video, or a drug trip.

[We would like to point out that we do not condone the use of drugs.]

Then there was flash of light (don’t forget your shades), and suddenly the place was rubble.

Thankfully, the residents that lived there survived (if they didn’t, you could kiss this RPG goodbye!). They were confused, hurting and wondering who the hell to blame for levelling the place. Thankfully, before any finger pointing and fighting can begin, their attention was caught by a strange old man who appeared out of almost nowhere.

“I suppose you’re all wondering what just happened right?”

Wanting to know who to blame for all this, they nodded.

“Well, as you all know, this world is divided into different versions of itself called “genres”, each contained by a barrier right?”

Being from different genre’s themselves, they all nod.

“Well, an evil group calling themselves “The Council”-“

“Lame!”

“Don’t interrupt! Anyway, they have broken the barriers, causing the different genres to pour into each other like so much cheap liquor.”

Everyone gasps.

“It seems they’re after an artifact known as the Gem of Incredible-But Never-Really-Explained-Powers, an extremely powerful gem. I could tell you what it does, but I don’t have the time.”

“Why are they doing this?” One of them asks.

“Well…because we really needed a plot for this RPG.”

“…”

“Anyway. It’s up to you to stop them. You must foil their plans and get the Gem of Incredible-But Never-Really-Explained-Powers before they do.”

“But, why us?”

That old man face palmed, as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Well duh, the rest of the plot focused on you so far hasn’t it? You’re the bloody main characters!”

“And if we refuse.”

“Don’t you get it? You don’t have a choice! You’re slaves to the story! You’re going on this bloody quest whether you like it or not! MWAHAHAHA!!”

The man couldn’t help noticing he strange looks he was getting and immediately stopped laughing evilly.

“Anyway, you must be going, and so must I.”

“Wait! Aren’t you coming with us?”

“No. I’m not a main character, and my role in this thing ends here. See ya!”

In a puff of smoke, he was gone, leaving our ‘heroes’ standing in the ruins of their home. Will they do what the old man said and go on their quest? Of course they will! As the old dude said, they don’t have a choice!



Ok, just so I can make it clear to you guys, this is a parody, but it’s a parody of RPGs as a whole, so feel free to bring in (and poke fun at) clichéd events, torture your characters, get yourself involved, etc. Overall, have fun! However, there’s one little rule about this RPG, your character must belong to a certain genre, whether it’s romance, horror, fantasy, etc. Please pick one, don't be shy.

Currently Taken
~Horror (Mystic_clown)
~Survival (Asilynne)
~Fantasy (Crystal Tears)
~Science Fiction (Crazy Elf Boy)
~Comedy (Blademaster)
~Pokemon (Bear)
~Romance (Chobichibi)
~Mystery/Noir (Mtoolen)
~Spy (Master Rudy)
~Action (Kuro Espeon)
~Cyberpunk (reserved by darktyranitar)
~Western (Elaina)

Now, onto the sign ups!

Name: (Obviously what your character is called, make it fit the genre even if its in a ridiculous way. Adds to the fun ^-~)
Age: (how old is your character, again, fit it to the genre)
Gender: (duh)
Species: (its possible we all wont be humans so what species?)
Personality: (how your character behaves and what goes on in their head)
History: (How you character got to where they are now, important things in their life etc.)
Physical Appearance: (what your character looks like)
Typical clothes: (what do they usually wear day to day?)
Genre: (What genre are they from?)
Weapon/Gear: (What your character uses to fight, and the items they have with them)
Catchphrase: (optional, if your char has a stereotypical thing they like to say it goes here)
Other: (you know what to do surely)

And now, for yours truly.

Name: Jack Scarecrow
Age: 65. Looks 25
Gender: Male
Species: Zombie/Scarecrow
Personality: Despite the fact that he’s an undead monster and that he’s actively trying to become a famous horror, Jack isn’t all that bad. He’s nice to talk to, if not a bit sarcastic at times, but for the most part he’s almost pleasant to be around, even if his constant attempts at being scary simply come off as lame at best and annoying at worst.

However, on rare occasions, like once every blue moon, Jack seems to undergo a complete personality change and becomes the horror he wants to be. Woe betide whoever gets in his way. However, these periods don’t seem to last long.
History: Jack was a creation of boredom. His creator, a rather camp mad scientist, just decided one day to slap him together from body parts and stuff him with straw. Then, taking him out to his evil vegetable patch (mad scientists experiment on vegis too you know), he simply ordered him to protect the field from crows. Sure, scaring crows was fun for a little while, but Jack began wanting to be more (and watching such famous horror movies such as Frankenstein didn’t help much either). Jack began slacking off on his duties, sneaking down to the nearby village in order to scare people. However, his attempts only ended up coming off as annoying. The constant complaints from the villagers, combined with the fact that Jack wasn’t doing his job very well, prompted the mad scientist to ‘let go’ his creation (translation: he dumped him on the side of the road while he was sleeping).

Like the rest of the cast, Jack eventually found his way to the <yet to be named> Apartments and has been living there since, taking up jobs to try and pay off the rent.
Physical Appearance: Tall and gangly, Jack’s skin is as pale as one would expect from a living corpse. If one saw him without his clothes on, you could clearly see he’s been put together from different body parts, with the points where they were stitched together clearly visible. Even bits of straw can be seen poking out of these borders. Despite the fact that he’s an undead, he’s not that bad looking, with dirty blonde, straw-like hair and blue and green eyes (they both came from separate bodies).
Typical clothes: His clothing is that same as he got when he was ‘born’ and are thus quite worn. This includes a dirty white shirt, and old, brown cotton jacket, grey pants with a few tears in place, cracked brown leather boots, a crooked grey steeple hat and white gloves. He’s also been seen wearing a red scarf, which doesn’t seem as old as the rest of his clothing.
Genre: Horror
Weapon/Gear: Jack’s main weapon is the wooden cross he was tied to while working as a scarecrow. It’s essentially two logs tied together to form a cross shape. The ends of this cross have been sharpened down to a point, good for swinging around and stabbing people.

He also carries a bag including some extra straw, and a small sowing kit. You never know when you’re going to have to reattach something.
Catchphrase: Wanna know why we’re called SCAREcrows? (Yes, it’s meant to be lame like that).
Other: Is friends with Jane Fox.

Jack Scarecrow
--------------------------------------------------

It was a dark and stormy night. Rain fell from the sky like hundreds of knives, and thunder like the gods themselves were furious. Within the confines of the seemingly innocent apartment complex, plots of the foulest evil were being put into motion…

Oh, wait…Wrong script.

It was actually your average sunny day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, children were playing outside.

Yeah, you just know something bad is going to happen when things seem this good.

Inside the apartment building, the tall, gangly figure of the undead scarecrow known as Jack Scarecrow slowly trudged up the stairs. It had been a long day at work for him at the supermarket…and his last.

Three hours ago…

“Ok, so a pound of oranges, two loaves of whole grain, a carton of milk and this month’s issue of VOGUE. All up that’s, thirty three dollars.”

Accepting the money from the woman across the counter, he piled the groceries into the bad and reached over to hand it to her.

However, fate was going to prove to be a bitch today and at that moment, the twine holding his hands to his arms came undone.

The bad hit the floor, oranges bouncing everywhere and milk spilt all over the floor. The woman looked down at her spilt groceries before glaring at the sheepishly grinning scarecrow.

“Um, sorry?”

He had told them that stronger twine should have been included in his health plan, that this sort of thing could happen. But no, they chose to ignore it and now he was paying for it with his job and some of his paycheck.

He walked down the hall towards his room, only to find a ridiculous, yet sadly enough familiar sight.

Standing outside of her room, was his next door neighbour Jane Fox.

Originally, Jack’s room was somewhere else in the building. But he moved next door to her in order to keep an eye on her activities. At the moment, she seemed to be performing some sort of construction on her door.

“Jane…” he sighed, not really wanting to deal with this right now, “What are you doing?”

“This place isn’t safe,” Jane responsed, not looking up from her work.

“…What?”

“The walls, the door, the windows, they’re too weak. A rhino, an elephant or even a big ape could break through them, and then we’re all doomed!”

Jack sighed. He knew of his friend’s obsession with wildlife out to get her. But serious, this was a domestic area. The only things she had to worry about we rabid dogs and feral cats. However, he dared not tell her that. He was afraid of her reaction.

“And now you’re reinforcing your apartment.”

“Now you’re getting it.”

Jack sighed again, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

“Good luck with that,” he said, before stepping into his room.


Ok, to start us off, just to introduce our character, everyone’s going to be going about their usual day. Me or Asi will kick off the disaster and get the plot moving along.