[GAME] Twisted Wishes v.8 (LV Approved)

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but when you die and go to the other side, everything is so difficult.

I wish for love.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. You decide to go onto a Finnish version of The Bachelor to find yourself a potential wife, but unfortunately for you, none of the 25 women selected for you seem to have enough interest in you, by the time the first episode airs, you, as the first Finnish bachelor, find yourself with all 25 women gone by the end of the first episode.

I wish I knew why Sylvester the cat never found out that Hippety Hopper was really a baby kangaroo, and not a "giant mouse".

[Fett One]

Granted but in finding out, you are immediately killed so that you can't tell others and thus ruin the cartoons for everyone.

I wish cats were as playful as dogs.

[Blademaster]

Granted. Now DOGS are self-absorbed asshole pets, too.

I wish I could walk out of explosions unharmed.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. However, you must be near exploding things every minute, because if you stay out of explosions you'll be harmed.

I wish I won the American Idol.

[Fett One]

Granted but after it is discovered that you are Finnish, you are stripped of your title and have to pay back all of the money that you received from any record companies.

I wish the fountain of youth was real.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. It is discovered in a jungle in Peru, however, it seems to only have an effect on dying people (aka it only gives them a second chance at life)...too bad it only has a 1% chance of working on those said people.

I wish someone would invent a chemical free insect repellent that works on all annoying insects.

[chaos_redefined]

Granted. It kills everything. Testing was... a bit too successful.

I wish everything was perfect for me.

[Fett One]

Granted but you only look perfect due to everyone around you becoming extremely imperfect.

I wish to become the worlds fastest reader.

[DivineAll]

Granted. You get incredibly fast headaches after finishing books now.

I wish for some good luck charms that actually worked.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, they charm good luck away from you.

I wish I was a farmer.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. Your new farm doesn't last long however, as it is invaded by termites who wreck your house and barn, and insects that eat all your crops, profits, and stuff. Looks like farm life is for the birds, not you.

I wish I had a portable high speed internet connection that I could connect to my computer at any time to have a reliable connection, even if I had my computer in some place in the middle of nowhere.

[Fett One]

Granted but the device used for the connection goes through batteries like crazy making it impractical for you to use.

I wish Optimus Prime was the leader of the world.

[Shadow Wolf]

Granted, but he's killed in a Coup d'état 5 mins later by the Decepticons.

I wish Blademaster would rule the world (yeah, not too creative)

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but the power corrupts all his four wonderful personalities.

I wish to become the first person to set foot on Mars.

[chaos_redefined]

Congratulations. You just got teleported to Mars. Without any form of life source.

I wish for happiness.

[Shadow Wolf]

Granted! The world spins upside-down (the unhappy people become happy and vice-versa), and the "now" unhappy people declare war against the happy people, eliminating the happiness that just occurred.

I wish to have something to wish.

...his four wonderful personalities.

Wait, didn't he have three (B,C and L)??? O_O

...Blade never ceases to surprise me *in deep thought*

[Knight of Time]

Granted. A wishing well appears in your backyard...too bad it hasn't worked for centuries, as it's very old and bound to never work again.

I wish someone here didn't have the intent to make a wish that makes little or no sense to wish for.

[Fett One]

Granted but everyone is now disappointed that the humor is now gone from this game as a result and take their anger out on you.

I wish NASA would start sending people to the moon again.

[chaos_redefined]

Didn't you learn from Mikachu's wish? NASA comes to your house, kidnaps you, shoves you in a rocket, sends you to the moon, and doesn't give you life support.

I wish I was smarter.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but the only result of you becoming smarter is that you learn to solve the Rubik's Cube in 5 seconds. Nothing very practical, I think.

I wish to master poker.

[Fett One]

Granted you become a master at using a fire poker.

I wish to own one of every video game console.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. They all permanently break down one after the other, mere hours after playing a game or two on each.

I wish I had a razor that would make shaving sensitive areas on the face (such as the mustache) a lot easier.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but it's too sharp to handle without special heavy equipment.

I wish Nokia regained its lost success.

[Fett One]

Granted but its achieved by sabatoging the competition.

I wish all black and white movies were converted to color.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but it costs the movie industry so much money that they go bankrupt before they can convert the first black and white movie to color.

I wish there was a teleportation booth in every major city in Canada and the United States to allow for fast, affordable, and easy travel from city to city.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. :cryingfinn:

I wish for a tasty sausage.

[Shadow Wolf]

Granted! *hands over a sausage tasty to the mouth but bitter to the stomach*

I wish that my methods of granting wishes were more funny and less cruel.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. Somewhere along the line though, they slowly begin to become less funny and more cruel. Looks like this wish of yours got literally twisted.

I wish there was a "laugh-o-meter" topic on TPM (aka a topic where someone posts something funny, and the next person continues the topic by rating how funny it is on the "laugh-o-meter" (the funnier it is, the higher it goes up on the "laugh-o-meter") before posting another funny thing).

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but you try so hard to make a funny post in that thread that all the readers die of laughter.

I wish I could take every single wish Fett One has granted for me and use their power against him mwahahaahahaa.

[Fett One]

Granted but I have a shield that blocks the power and sends it back at you.

I wish the Wii U won't cost more than $200 when it comes out.

[Shadow Wolf]

Granted! The Wii U's price costs $199.99 (with all the takes). But due to this, winnings for the Nintendo company are reduced to zero, rendering them unable to produce either new consoles or games, thus all of this leading to bankruptcy. (In which in this case, Blade will probably hunt you down)

I wish to harness the power of my dreams.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but as a result, your most precious dreams become evitable and very boring.

I wish I could get more cool ideas like THIS from Knight of Time.

[Fett One]

Granted but he won't give you anymore ideas unless you pay him $5,000.00 per idea.

I wish everyday was a good day.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. Every day becomes a good day...for fun at your expense, such as being a victim of countless pranks every day.

I wish The Bachelor and The Bachelorette would both be discontinued someday if they keep having so few successful, lasting relationships.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but after that, the unsuccessful relationships continue so those people didn't really get any benefit.

I wish I could play a game of Trouble with Blademaster.

[Blademaster]

Granted. I am in your house and we're playing Trouble.

Then you get sued for thousands for abducting me and holding me against my will. Cha-ching.

I wish I had a magic journal that would make everything I wrote in it a reality.

[Knight of Time]

Granted but with each thing that becomes a reality to you, the journal's quality steadily decreases until it's unusable...after all, things can't last forever.

I wish solutions to solving a Rubik's Cube weren't so confusing.

[Fett One]

Granted but the makers of the Rubix cube turn it into a hexagon to make it more challenging.

I wish politics were easy.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but instead of byrocratic institutionalized ceremonial affairs that politics include now, populist extreme factions take over the politics everywhere in the world.

I wish just the opposite of this.