[GAME] Twisted Wishes v.8 (LV Approved)

[Shadow Wolf]

Granted! "That" happens... O_o

I wish my hair (only the hair, and nothing else) grew faster.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. It begins to grow so quickly, that it makes it very hard to see...on top of that, not even haircuts help, as your hair begins to grow back to its long, eye-blocking length within seconds of being cut.

I wish I didn't have thinker's block in trying to come up with a new wish.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, instead, your head's so filled up with wish ideas that it explodes.

I wish I was Captain Jack Sparrow.

[Fett One]

Granted but you become so drunk all of the time that you end up in jail most weekends.

I wish to ride on Air Force One.

[Shadow Wolf]

Granted, but an unexpected accident occurs and you end up being fired due to the president blaming you.

I wish I could materialize my thoughts.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, your head becomes occupied by some heavy thoughts and they materialize. However, your house floor can't take their weight and collapses.

I wish the European Union vanished earlier than expected.

[Fett One]

Granted but it is replaced by an evil dictatorship that hates Finland and all its people.

I wish for a new Harry Potter book that takes place a year or two after book 7.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. It doesn't sell very well though, being a complete failure in ratings.

I wish I was the best checkers player in the world, with an undefeated record.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. You beat every single efficent checkers player in the world. Amateurs are next on the list, including me who doesn't do too well at checkers. We have a match, you play as black, I play as white. 1. 9-14 23-18 2. 14x23 27x18 3. 5-9 26-23 4. 12-16 30-26 5. 16-19 24x15 6. 10x19 23x16 7. 11x20 22-17 8. 7-11 18-15 9. 11x18 28-24 10. 20x27 32x5 11. 8-11 26-23 12. 4-8 25-22 13. 11-15 17-13 14. 8-11 21-17 15. 11-16 23-18 16. 15-19 17-14 17. 19-24 14-10 18. 6x15 18x11 19. 24-28 22-17 20. 28-32 17-14 21. 32-28 31-27 22. 16-19 27-24 23. 19-23 24-20 24. 23-26 29-25 25. 26-30 25-21 26. 30-26 14-9 27. 26-23 20-16 28. 23-18 16-12 29. 18-14 11-8 30. 28-24 8-4 31. 24-19 4-8 32. 19-16 9-6 33. 1x10 5-1 34. 10-15 1-6 35. 2x9 13x6 36. 16-11 8-4 37. 15-18 6-1 38. 18-22 1-6 39. 22-26 6-1 40. 26-30 1-6 41. 30-26 6-1 42. 26-22 1-6 43. 22-18 6-1 44. 14-9 1-5 45. 9-6 21-17 46. 18-22 BW You win but I can't stand losing the game so I take your game draughts board and smash and break it! It appears that you played all your matches with your own special magic game board which would have sold millions.

I wish I could swim properly.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. It's difficult to walk on land with webbed feet, isn't it?

I wish that more people in my area played Pokemon games.

[Fett One]

Granted but everyone in your area only plays it for 5 minutes each week, in the middle of the night.

I wish people couldn't have heart attacks and strokes.

[Blademaster]

Granted. All fated victims of these disorders have them replaced with more painful and non-conventional organic mishaps including but not limited to: lung collapses, liver failure, brain tumors, severe kidney stones, and inexplicable outbreaks of painful disorders and diseases including rabies, necrotizing fasciitis, and leprosy.

I wish the next poster wouldn't grant this wish.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. Instead, I grant another wish with as hossible results as the another one would have had.

I wish to become a priest.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. God makes you a priest, but in making you one, he requires for you to have skin-burning acid rubbed on your forehead before you can officially be a priest.

I wish I knew who portrayed Gary Oak on here on April Fool's Day.

[Fett One]

Granted, it turns out that you have a split personality, that you never knew about. This personality is the person that portrayed Gary Oak.

I wish to never be audited by the IRS.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. By the way, you're fired.

I wish that chocolate was healthy -- but without any further changes to its flavor, texture, origin, or any other characteristics.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but it still tastes awful. Yep, I myself have almost lost the ability to eat chocolate.

I wish I never made typing errors such as 'hossible' or 'responsidility'.

[Fett One]

Granted. You now make errors all of the time in everything else that you do.

I wish a real green lantern ring.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. You end up becoming the owner of a 100% fake Green Lantern ring.

I wish my TV didn't need to be replaced.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, it doesn't need to be, but it still will be replaced.

I wish time machines were for real and they didn't do anything stupid for the space-time continuum.

[Fett One]

Granted, but only the rich can afford to use the time machines.

I wish all pets were incapable of running/flying/swimming away from home.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. All the animals of the world no longer have legs, wings, or fins.

I wish that GGG was still PCG, like the Pichu on the screen tells me it should be.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. However, it has only one Poll, that contains two questions. 1) Are you strong? and 2) Are you cute?

I wish people stopped making stupid wishes (no offence to anybody intended, of course, just wanted to see how this wish would be twisted).

[Knight of Time]

Granted. As a result, Twisted Wishes ends up dying due to the lack of stupid wishes, and the blame for the game's demise is put on you.

I wish I was able to invent a kind of computer software that would make it 100% immune to malicious stuff.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. Your software completely disables all other programs and processes on your computer. The machine makes a nice paperweight, doesn't it?

I wish that TPM had smilies for all Pokemon in existence.

[Shadow Wolf]

Granted! But the size of the smilies is so big that makes even the fastest of computers to take 5 minutes of loading each smilie (now loading...).

I wish I could go to the TPM convention.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. You hop on a plane that is supposed to take you to the TPM convention, but it crash lands before it can reach its destination, killing the pilot and everyone else except for you (be thankful you survived this fate), leaving you stranded in the middle of nowhere, several miles away from a town.

I wish I was able to (distantly) witness a pickpocket trying to steal something from someone with fake pockets.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. The pickpocket, unable to make a profit, subsequently grows angry and attacks the target. Since you're so far away, you're helpless to do anything but watch.

I wish that I was able to understand every language.

[Fett One]

Granted but you can only understand written language, thus being unable to speak it or understand it when spoken.

I wish it was impossible to get burned.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but that makes Pokemon's burned status in the games surrealistic.

I wish my keyboard had more letters.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. Your keyboard gets multiple copies of every letter from A to Z, but only one of each particular letter key works at a time, and randomly too, so you end up finding that trying to type is a lot harder.

I wish this week hadn't been ruled by all the thunder showers around here.

[Fett One]

Granted, you get to have the huge week long heatwave that we have had here (northeastern part of the USA).

I wish the temperature outside would between 65-70 degrees all year long.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. It's 65-70 degrees Celsius, all year long.

I wish that it was easier to eat watermelons (whole, mind you) while using the computer without getting it sticky.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. I'll help you with a gigantic watermelon launcher which shoots watermelons. Eat watermelons mr_pikachu!

I wish Fett One handed me a few thousand posts so I could have an instant boost in my postcount.

[Fett One]

Granted, but the mods get mad and as a result they go back to hiding our posts counts.

I wish for a sequel to the game Star Wars: X-Wing Alliance.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. It has roughly the same quality as the E.T. video game.

I wish that there were better shows on late-night television.

[DivineAll]

Granted. Now there are worse shows on daytime television.

I wish I could manage my time better.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. You are teleported inside a gigantic clock where you'll have to move the heavy clock hands for yourself. If you get tired and don't, the time in the whole universe will stop.

I wish I could come up with funny palindromes.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted, but they're only funny to you.

I wish that I received 1% of all annual taxes.

[Fett One]

Granted but you get taxed 95% on it.

I wish cell phone companiues didn't charge extra for over seas calls.