~Brandy Kerr~
A Glimmer of Hope
:::3:45AM, Dec 22, 2012:::

My heart had skipped a beat when I heard the sound of the door opened. I had watched so many movies that had post apocalyptic things happen, and it gave me this sense of paranoia that would have annoyed me had it not been possibly warranted. Fortunately it turned out to be Lou and one of our other neighbors, Robert. It was so relieving to see that we weren't the only ones who survived. But survived what?

My reaction to the door also served to make me come to a realisation. I was very vunerable. I was pregnant, and this made it very hard to move quickly or defend myself, let alone anyone else. And while most of the others were able to at least somewhat defend themselves, the little boy that Ben found was just a child. What if it came down to us having to fight something off? What was I going to do, sit there and be the damsel in distress?? That was so not me.

It figured something like this would happen when I was 'helpless'. Steph and I always said that if we were in a situation like this we would kick ass together and make it out alive. Steph....I had to fight back the tears as I remembered she was at the party and yet was not to be seen. She's too tough to be gone... I thought to myself. She probably has gone off to find weapons and the rest of our family...she probably knew Ben and I can take care of things here... It was a form of denial, but until I knew for sure otherwise I would hold out hope that her and the rest of my family was out there somewhere. Today is Dad's birthday....

A sense of determination mixed with traces of fear and anger rose within me, as I stood up, holding my stomach and ignoring the fatigue that often gripped me. Ben and a few of the others looked up sharply, and my husband looked ready to tell me to sit down and rest. So I cut him off. "I need a weapon."

"What you need is rest and not to stress yourself," Ben scolded me kindly but firmly. He was used to me not always thinking about whats best for me and trying to do everything. "Have some water, just stay calm..." I knew thats what I should do but I couldn't get this rising feeling of dread out of my system and the only thing that could make it better is if I was doing something to help the situation, as helpless as it seemed.

"No Ben, you don't understand!!" My face was drawn with stress and an anger that thinly veiled the panic within as he came forward to hold me by my shoulders. "I can't just sit around and wait for something to come get us all, what if it makes you disappear next?! I have to be able to fight if I have to, I need something---" The tears started to fall, as I angrily wiped them away. Damn these female pregnancy hormonal emotions! "I need a weapon..." I repeated firmly. "Everyone here does, we need to be able to hold our own...in case---"

At that moment a knock sounded at the door, causing all of us to jump. Everyone scattered, with the men creeping around to the windows and the door carefully. I grabbed my celtic sword off the wall and flung off the hilt, holding it in front of me. I knew I was maybe overreacting but that was how I dealt with things so obviously beyond my control, I was unwilling to believe there was nothing I could do. The kid cried out and I hugged him to me with my left arm as my shaking right arm held the sword pointed in the direction of the door.

Ben slowly opening it, peeping around to see who it was, only to let the door fall open to reveal a very stunned Jeff.

"Jeff?" Ben asked, seeming to not believe his eyes.

"Ben! You're still here!!" Jeff seemed relieved to have found others besides himself. And while I was glad to see him I didn't immediately lower the sword. I still didn't know what was going on and in all those movies things weren't always as they seemed. They WERE just movies, but then I never thought anything like this would actually happen either.

After a few heartbeats I realised I couldn't just go around mistrusting my friends, if we wanted to survive we had to count on each other. I lowered the sword and breathed for a moment, but I still wasn't going to let my guard down completely, even if I was convinced after a few minutes that this really was Jeff. I would have to keep my eyes open for any strange things, just in case.
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Trust issuessss~ lol Tag everyone~