Does rejecting give women an ego-rush or something? (follow up to shazza's topic)

[Ultimate Charizard]

From a near 30 year old whos in just this situation and terrified of taking a chance...

"Quit whining as to why its their fault and look at why you would be rejected".

Took me too long to work that one out.

[DarkestLight]

O.~ Yeeeeeeeeah ....Pm

[RedStarWarrior]

Holy text walls.

I'm sure some pretentious self-absorbed bitches get off on going above and beyond to hurt others, but I believe it's a bit of an over generalization to say that all women are like that. You are basing it only on those that are posting such business on Facebook to begin with. The best correlation you can actually make is that those who are willing to publically bash and chastise their admirers possibly get pleasure out of it.

[shazza]

Granted I haven't read the thread due to the copious amount of text that RedStarWarrior alluded to.

Pretty much, the girls that get an ego-rush from brushing off guys are girls you really don't want to be with. They are vain and insecure. This is quite obvious and I am certain I am not the first to observe this.

But this shouldn't be even of your concern. You are the catch; it is their loss. And if in any way their own ego rush bothers you, then that is nothing but an indication of your own unresolved insecurities and unhealthy attachment to your own ego. When attempting to talk to girls, you have to put the ego aside. When you think you are not good enough, or getting worked up about girls' own temoary ego boosts, that is nothing but your own ego playing tricks on you.

You're going to get rejected and, indeed, the ego may sting initially. But it's all a part of it. At least you did what you wanted to do. Rejection is a part of your life, and if your ego is dependent on rejection, when in reality they do not know the real you, then you won't get very far.

Your ego is against you. Beat your ego and you will no longer even have a second thought about a girl's ego that you're most probably never going to meet again.

Truly confident guys will simply laugh at the juvenile antics of these girls' ego. So, it is not the girls that are hurting your confidence, it is your own perception of it and your own perception of yourself. It is entirely up to you how you react to them.

Read Eckhart Tolle.

Edit: This is slightly relevant and not at anyone in particular: it is not a dichotomy between nice guys and assholes, but strong guys and weak guys. The flaunted "nice guy" is one of the most manipulative, beta, self-pitying group of people that exist. And they are opposite to what being nice truly is. If you are being nice for an ulterior motive, and getting jaded when you get friendzoned without being assertive of your intentions, then you need to revalue how you perceive yourself and the world.

Edit 2: Just read Greyfox's comment: "The ego-boost probably comes not from being approached by someone or feeling themselves "superior" to that someone, but from actually being empowered enough to say no." This is very true and I hadn't overtly considered it. It is difficult to conclude where the motives of their ego boost lie, and to make inferences and getting emotional regarding your self-created assumptions is the ego winning - not the fact of reality itself. The ego boosts, if they are truly occurring or just perception, vary from girl to girl may: some may definitely feel superior to reject someone else, some may enjoy they are confident to say no rather than succumb to anyone's seduction when younger, and some may feel bad underneath but act as if they didn't care to mask their sympathy and guilt.

Categorising people and creating generalisations can help if it allows you to take short cuts in approaching the world, but they should be understood to only be helpful mind life hacks rather than being the reality of life. This is where racism and other negative stereotyping commences.

[Zak]

Sorry for delay been meaning to respond to this...

Granted I haven't read the thread due to the copious amount of text that RedStarWarrior alluded to.

Haha well looking at yours it does sound like you did at least take more time to read than most of those who replied here.

Pretty much, the girls that get an ego-rush from brushing off guys are girls you really don't want to be with. They are vain and insecure. This is quite obvious and I am certain I am not the first to observe this.

Well yeah that would be the general consensus, but I never said anything about wanting to be with these people, these are who I noticed from outside observation mainly, and sure some with me way back in the day when I had less of a sense of it.

But this shouldn't be even of your concern. You are the catch; it is their loss. And if in any way their own ego rush bothers you, then that is nothing but an indication of your own unresolved insecurities and unhealthy attachment to your own ego. When attempting to talk to girls, you have to put the ego aside. When you think you are not good enough, or getting worked up about girls' own temoary ego boosts, that is nothing but your own ego playing tricks on you.

Well yeah that is a given, but nobody likes someone who thinks they can walk all over you, and no one likes someone who can be easily walked all over.
If someone innocently asks someone out and the girl feels the need to add an extra fuck-you and alienate anyone who does by turning it into drama when all they wanted was a simple answer, of course that's gonna piss people off. Especially if they go so low as making you out to be the bad guy for doing it, like you were ding something wrong.

Never mind not wanting to be with them, but if that happened to me I would probably tell them to go fuck themselves ans that they didn't win anything (get the last word in). If that makes me "insecure" then so be it, I think if anything anyone with the need to pretend not to be fazed at all by that kind of situation just so they can feel "manly" or "alpha" are putting on a charade and are insecure themselves. It is a matter of principle.

You're going to get rejected and, indeed, the ego may sting initially. But it's all a part of it. At least you did what you wanted to do. Rejection is a part of your life, and if your ego is dependent on rejection, when in reality they do not know the real you, then you won't get very far.

Your ego is against you. Beat your ego and you will no longer even have a second thought about a girl's ego that you're most probably never going to meet again.

Again, matter of principle, depends on the situation and how they behave. If saying things like "there's no need to be rude" makes me 'insecure', then so be it. I think it gives moral higher ground regardless of how they take it, and if they shoot that statement down or try and say it was justified, then yes obviously I'd stop talking to them-- but not without getting a few words in myself. Matter of principle.

Truly confident guys will simply laugh at the juvenile antics of these girls' ego. So, it is not the girls that are hurting your confidence, it is your own perception of it and your own perception of yourself. It is entirely up to you how you react to them.

Read Eckhart Tolle.

They couldn't put a dent in my ego/confidence if they tried. It's not gonna affect my outlook on anything.
But as long as I see them picking a fight over it and blaming the guy for, yes I would laugh in their face, but I will think less of them (as in, that person specifically). And if that fight is with me, I wouldn't just sit there without making an effort to let them know how foolish/ridiculous their behavior is, even if it's futile.

Edit: This is slightly relevant and not at anyone in particular: it is not a dichotomy between nice guys and assholes, but strong guys and weak guys. The flaunted "nice guy" is one of the most manipulative, beta, self-pitying group of people that exist. And they are opposite to what being nice truly is. If you are being nice for an ulterior motive, and getting jaded when you get friendzoned without being assertive of your intentions, then you need to revalue how you perceive yourself and the world.

This is true and I definitely agree, know many naive guys like that.

But I think even those who are genuine and naturally nice, well, in a way they also have an 'ulterior motive', just to be respected in general, rather than just by some girl.
But I think some of these 'nice guys' you speak of, even ignoring the whole 'friendzone' thing, they also tend to get mentally abused, beaten up, disrespected and taken advantage of for it, like not just in girl situations but I see it happen at work too... and they have every right to be 'jaded' and 'self-pitying' for that, I don't know about manipulative.

Femenazi cunts always forget about respect for the other gender, maybe? Ever consider that? Everyone's always so focused on 'respect for women'... well maybe if it didn't go to their head they would realize they aren't who the world revolves around.

Edit 2: Just read Greyfox's comment: "The ego-boost probably comes not from being approached by someone or feeling themselves "superior" to that someone, but from actually being empowered enough to say no." This is very true and I hadn't overtly considered it. It is difficult to conclude where the motives of their ego boost lie, and to make inferences and getting emotional regarding your self-created assumptions is the ego winning - not the fact of reality itself. The ego boosts, if they are truly occurring or just perception, vary from girl to girl may: some may definitely feel superior to reject someone else, some may enjoy they are confident to say no rather than succumb to anyone's seduction when younger, and some may feel bad underneath but act as if they didn't care to mask their sympathy and guilt.

But when they are overly defensive when it's not necessary, then they kind of make a spectacle of themselves. I know it's best to walk away, but in most cases I'd probably be tempted to simply comment on it.

Categorising people and creating generalisations can help if it allows you to take short cuts in approaching the world, but they should be understood to only be helpful mind life hacks rather than being the reality of life. This is where racism and other negative stereotyping commences.

No going halfsies.