1997-1999
THE PERMANENT SUBSTITUTE FAMILY

The same summer when I turned 12 years old brought on another big change. I was directed to a permanent substitute family in Haapavesi. There I finally had to make food and clean places since my mother hadn't taught me. Of course, I had hard time accepting this arrangement at first, but there were several factors that derived my attention, sort of. 1) A chance to play videogames on a daily basis 2) Taking care of animals and plants in the new place 3) I could start fresh at a new school 4) I easily fell for certain girls 5) Pokemon anime.

So, I'd better start from the first factor that I mentioned. In fact, I WAS able to play videogames and computer games before 1997. However, those were rare occasions at my friends' house. I could track the first video game I played back to Aladdin for the NES. I kinda liked it, but there was something that didn't make me believe in love at first sight when it came to videogames. The point is that playing against the clock made me worry about Super Mario Bros. 3 at first, but it eventually became one of my favourite games. However, the former substitute families weren't into gaming, while the new one was.

As expected, the first game that really hooked me was probably Super Mario Bros. 3. Others were Civilization and Stunts for the PC. Both of those two PC games were about worldbuilding. We also borrowed Nintendo 64 from a friend, which had something brand new when it came to me and videogames. 3D. Soon enough, I had to wonder why we had to 'leave Nintendo for Sony' when we got a Playstation for Christmas. I used to be a bit console-sensitive even back there, at least of my friends was a SEGA fanboy! I forgot about this for a while, however, when Crash Bandicoot 2, Abe's Oddysee and especially Final Fantasy VII blew my mind. Still, I noticed I always had difficulties to finish all those games, probably due to the fact that I had started playing later than my mates.

Taking care of plants and animals was another thing. I used to love animals and I still do, but I soon realized it was harder than I thought. Already in June 1997, I had to witness death of an innocent sheep. It was quite traumatizing because the lamb was strangled by its collar to a three. The sheep was still alive when I saw this, but I didn't figure out I could have freed it using scissors. But that wasn't the end. Having heard mallard was one of my favourite animals, we bought geese and ducks. One after another, they died. There was always the smallest one in the flock who didn't make it. Only one goose survived after a few months, though the ducks lasted longer. That's why taking care of animals might even have had an opposite effect to me. It made me sad. I even developed a series of speech where I greeted the ducks and said how no one of them had died as far as I could see. I also said goodbye to them l each time I walked out of the barn to the field and the substitute family thought I was saying goodbye to my mother.

I also have to talk about the cats and dogs. Easier to take care of, especially when they really weren't my cats and dogs. I didn't have the responsibility to give them the nutrition, so the relationship was rather simple. The dog, Titi-Uu, was always asking me for scratchings and like our cat Ruusu, slept often in my bed.

Plants were my best friend and the worst enemy. I had to take care of the huge garden we had back there. The work seemed endless and I tried to bribe my substitute parents so that I wouldn't have to do it. We also went to marshes, forests and lakes to pick berries and go fishing and I had to notice I didn't like it at all. I would have so much rather wanted to stay indoors playing Playstation. It wasn't until 2003 I was able to enjoy planting potatoes and hoeing the garden.

My first day at school in Haapavesi was somemthing completely different compared to one in Kalajoki! Instead of getting bullied since day 1, all the pupils gathered around me when they noticed I was drawing something on my notebook. 'The dude is quite good at drawing' one of them praised. 'Is that our class?' asked another, since I had drawn a group of lively children and an angry teacher yelling them. My new classmates started asking me to draw things for both myself and them and told me it was art. I even inspired them to draw pictures an comics of their own. My friends Oan and An started drawing more than before. AM, on the other hand, independenty created a character of his own. The character's name was Arska Aivovaurio (Arnie the Brain-Damaged), what, in turn, inspired me to copy him and draw Älykääpiö (Mind-Retard, or something) whose presonality was quite similar.

Since my teenage years were starting, girls began to interest me. Until this, I had adoted a negative attitude against sexuality from the Bible and my mother. Now, after living half a year in a new house, a girl of my own age group moved to us with his little brother. The girl's nickname was Lapio in our future school's internet message board. Lapio became my first love. Spring 1998, she and the substitute family's own child, Little E, were asking whom I liked most in Haapavesi. They were going trough every girl of my age, but I said no. Then Little E metioned Lapio's name and I had to confess. The first time I confessed my love to a girl. It was unrequited love. Also, my substitute parents said I shouldn't fall in love in the first place, Lapio was like a sister to me. Not a biological one though. The following summer was filled with surviving the sensation, also when we went to Northern Sweden and Norway by car, which was my first trip abroad. Fortunately the second year at Haapavesi school began in Autumn, called ylä-aste, classes from 7 to 9 namely. At school I was able to see other girls of my age and that made me forget Lapio for a while.

Yläaste brought along with it new school subjects to study. Compulsory Swedish, Housekeeping, at least. The latter became not my cup of tea, I scored 4 ½ from a test where the lowest score would be 4 and the highest would be 10! At class eight we even get to choose our own subjects to study. I continued housekeeping although my grades weren't good there, and because Swedish was to end after 8th class, I chose to continue it to get ready for lukio, a Finnish version of high school, as well as additional mathematics. I also started learning German, Computing and later Astronomy. For I read Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy and loved it!