Crystal Isles- A Journey To Remember

[Reborned-Dragon]

Clay died so I'm making a new hero, Seig Waterflower.

CHAPTER 1

Hell Breaks Loose

<Seig>
"Hello everybody! We're the Waterflower Family with our buddy, Wally the Wailer!" my annoying older sister Misty called to the huge audience through her multi-colored microphone. I waddled out in my patched-up Wailer costume. Hi, I'm Seig Waterflower, the only son of the Waterflower family. Since my other sisters, Daisy, Violet and Lilly were on tour, Misty, Amy and I took over the show in Cerulean City in Kanto Region. Amy and Misty did acrobatics which every Waterflower exceled in while I waddled around and tried to jump through hoops but my legs were really cramped in this stuffy hand-me-down costume. After a hour of humiliation, I got out of that suit faster than a Dodrio on a floor of hot coals. "This is so freakin' stupid Mist." I muttered as I put my black shirt on that only had one sleeve. Misty just nodded as she put a red headband on. "I know it is but we have only have to do this until Daisy and the others get back." she told me. I put my sneakers on as I put my goggles on my head and walked out the gym for a quick jog.

I ran down the sidewalk and manuvered through a crowd of people who were looking at something. I stopped to see what was grabbing everyone's attention. I looked in horror to see a huge flock of Swellows, Fearows and Pidgeots divebombing toward Cerulean with lasers mounted on their backs. "HOLY GRANDMA ON A STICK! IT'S A INVASION FROM NEO JOHTO!" Ron, my best friend yelled out. Everyone then scattered except me since I was too scared. The ravenous bird pokemon shot their lasers around me to make a circle, which then began to rumble. "What the-" I began until the ground beneath me broke apart. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" I yelled as I fell hopelessly. I thought I was going to get burnt to death due to the intense heats of the earth but instead I hit a cold metal floor. I staggered to my feet, still feeling a bit dazed from the fall as I looked around my enviroment. I saw nothing but metal around me until I heard a faint chirp somewhere in this room. I ran toward the location of the chirp to see a huge door. I opened it to see a badly bruised little blue bird on the ground. I ran over to it to see it was a Swablu, a Pokemon from the Hoenn region. I quickly picked it up and ran out of the room to look for a way out. I ran around and around like a Rattata in a maze looking for swiss cheese. I then checked out my backpack and found some rope. I then saw a little hook-like thing near the hole I fell through. I tossed the rope and it wrapped around the hook so I could pull myself up. I quickly shimmied up to see a Swellow streaking right for me!

<Swablu>
I was really badly injured by a Pidgeot earlier before I was stored down there. I then saw a Swellow heading right toward the guy who got me out of that horrible metal place. I leapt from his arms and delivered a tackle to the larger bird pokemon but I was too weak to cause any damage. The Swellow knocked me back into the guy's arms and picked us up with it's beak and carried us away from the city. I looked down to see Pidgeots, Fearows and other Swellows shoot at people and buildings, killing them off and destroying everything. It was horrible. The Swellow took us over a raging river and swung us into it. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the guy yelled as we hit the freezing cold waters. I tried to pull myself up but I was way too weak so I fainted after swallowing alot of the water. With one last glance, I saw the guy smile at me before he blacked out...

Sorryit was short but for me, Chapter 1 is never really long. Chapter 2 will be up tommorow and it'll be better than Chapter 1. Peace out homies.

[Tha Legend]

Ummm...
I hope you can take this as constructive criticism, and not a personal attack.

This fic is plagued by run-on sentences, and poor formatting. The story is about as coherent as Anna Nicole giving a presentation on nuclear fission. I'm not gonna say anything about it being a trainer fic, cause I like trainer fics. In my opinion as a reader, you should go back and rewrite the whole chapter. Work on the setting, characters, plot and dialogue.

Now for my advice as a writer:
It seems as though you have a story in your head, and you're just looking for a way to express it. I reccomend that you go through a more organized refinery of your writing, E.G.:

1> This could have been brainstorming (getting your ideas on paper.) Use this so you know what you want to convey.

2>Now you should make some kindo of outline (Where do you want this story to go?) Then you can keep it together, and it'll flow better.

3> Finally write a draft, take a few hours away to do something completely different, then come back and read your work. (If this had been written by someone other than yourself, would you enjoy it?) If you can, with as little bias as possible, say that you like what you read, post it with the utmost confidence, I promise I'll read and reply to it at least.

4> The most important Don't stop... Don't ever stop! even if you don't think it's gonna go too well with any particular literary undertaking, keep going. It'll pay off later, but you'll have to tough it out .

Like I said, this is just meant to help you. If you're offended, just disregard the entire post. I'll even delete it if you PM me, but as long as you keep going, you'll get better. You don't have to take my suggestions.

~Legend~

[Dragon_Claw]

It's okay and I agree with Tha Legend. Just wanted to add this: You should make it a tad more serious. I mean, Bird Pokémon with lasers is okay, but then let somebody say: Holy Grandma on a stick. That's not right....;o

[Reborned-Dragon]

Sorry that Chapter sucked worst than Oprah (no offense to Oprah fans but I just don't enjoy Orpha since I watched it once and hated it) but Chapter 2 will be better.

CHAPTER 2

Arrival to Crystal Isles

<Seig>
*Oh great. All I wanted to do today was grab a slice of pizza from Chubbie's. Well on the bright side, I "caught" a Swablu but the crappy side is I'm unconcious in the raging waters of Gyrados Lake. Wait a second, GYRADOS LAKE!!!*

(Note: When you see a * before a character begins to talk, that means they talking to themselves. The reason the * was infront of Seig's words was because he's unconcious so deal with it)

I instantly woke up to see my battered little friend was still unconcious. "Oh crap." I said as I swam to the surface. I looked around to see I was fine until I heard Jaws music. "Get out of here
you freaking conductor! That's meant for later!" I yelled to the orchestra that was safely on land. I looked behind me to see a large pair of spikes rapidly approaching me. "Oh great. First I'm nearly drowned by a oversized turkey and now I'm this thing's afternoon snack?" I said outloud as I franticly began to swim ahead but Swablu was slowing me down and I couldn't dump him!
A mighty Gyrados erupted from the lake and dived right at Swablu and I. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I yelled out as the Gyrados landed over me mouth first.

<Swablu>
I was half-awake early and noticed the Gyrados about to eat us. I was now fully awake and didn't smell any B.O., infact I didn't feel a slimy tongue either. I was on a cold floor filled with large machines. Seig was just as confused as I was as he picked me up and began to explore. "Is anybody here or have any pizza?" Seig yelled out. How could he think of pizza when a fake Gyrados ate us!? Humans are so confusing. Anyway, Seig continued explore until we heard a huge smack that sounded like a punch. Seig dashed toward that direction to see two large Poke`mon, a Nidoking and a Tyranitar exchanging punches rapidly and a cute girl with long brown hair wearing a lab coat, a sleeveless white shirt, a black mini-skirt and boots writing stuff down on a clipboard. Seig then told me, "Hey Swablu, she has NJ written on the back of her labcoat, which probaly means she's a Neo-Johto scientist. *Or she could be from New Jersey but hey, you can't hear a word I'm saying and you're the trainer red-head.* Seig then began to sneak behind pillars like he was the Splinter Cell until he was right behind the girl.

Seig got ready and suddenly yelled out, "GOTCHA!" The girl was shocked after Seig's idiototic war cry as he began to throw a barrage of punches which the girl blocked with lightning-quick speed. She then threw a swing kick which Seig backflipped away from. I give it a 9 1/2 but I don't have a scoreboard at the moment so I continued to watch Seig and the girl punch, kick and block each other until they dropped to they're knees. "Hey Neo-Johto scientist, what's the deal with those oversized turkey dinners obliterating my home town?" Seig yelled. The girl just replied, "I don't work for these bastards. I'm a spy trying to retrieve my Ghost Pokemon Casper and Wendy since they were kidnapped due to their enhanced strength." the girl explained. Seig just nodded as he said, "Sorry for attacking you, I just thought you were working with these home wreckers. Oh yeah, I'm Seig Waterflower and I'm from Cerulean Ruins thanks to Neo-Johto." The girl smiled as she replied, "It's okay since I would do the same thing if it was you. Oh yeah, I'm Tifa Lockheart from New Jersey." *Oh yeah, score one for the little blue bird man* Tifa then took a Super Potion from her pack and fed it to me since I still haven't recovered. I drank the entire thing and suddenly flipped up, feeling like a toy fresh from the package. I chirped happily at Tifa which was my way of saying thank you. Tifa smiled sweetly as she handed Seig a Neo-Johto labcoat and a pair of goggles and said, "When the lunch bell rings, we'll leave the lab and head through the vent to where they're holding Casper and Wendy but until then we'll diguise ourselves until then. Oh yeah, while we're diguised, I'm Sally and you're Booker." "Booker" nodded as he put the coat on and pretended to work with "Sally".

<Tifa>
Ten minutes later the lunch bell rang. Seig and I dashed out of the lab only to be held back by a large guard who said, "Where do you two think you're goin'?" Seig quickly replied, "Lunch bub, you heard the bell." The guard snickered, "They're doing experiments on the two Poke`mon we stole from the girl. Hah, stupid kid. Lunch is canceled until they're done so deal with it." I gritted my teeth as I gave the guard a powerful blow to his family jewels and removed my goggles and coat and ran with Seig close behind removing his coat and goggles as well. The guard was short of breath but managed to yell, "GET THOSE KIDS AND THEIR LITTLE SWABLU TOO!" All of a sudden, a dozen Neo-Johto thugs ran from a hall and released their Poke`mon which constisted of Makuhita, Numel, Remoraid, Minun, Ivysaur, Grimer, Trapinch, Sandslash, Spearow, Magmar, Onix and Houndour. The crop of Poke`mon shot attacks at us which we barely dodged while Onix, Sandslash and Grimer chased us. "The duct!" I yelled as we continued to run. Seig quickly pulled a tape measure from his pack and threw it at the duct, opening it and securing it to a slit. "Climb it! Swablu and I will hold them off as long as we can!" Seig ordered. I was worried about him but I knew he and Swablu could do it. I quickly shimmied up the thin tape and crawled into the duct. It was really cramped in here but I could still crawl ahead. I crawled as fast as I could and looked down at each duct for Casper and Wendy. I looked down at the first one only to see a desk. I crawled ahead only to see someone throw a Pokeball at a Machop and easily catch it. I just shrugged as I continued and looked down at the third duct to see my Gastly and Midreveous float away from two guys wearing some strange suits. I yelled, "Hang on guys!" I kicked down the duct and slipped down. I landed on the two guys shoulders and banged their heads together hard enough to knock them out. Casper and Wendy were really happy to see me as they returned to their Poke`balls. I headed back to the area Seig and Swablu were at before I left to see a horrific sight.

Seig, Swablu and a Machop were unconcious on the floor with bruises and burn marks while only half of the opposing Pokemon and their trainers were down. "SEIG! SWABLU!" I yelled as I quickly released Wendy and Casper, who glared evily at the Neo-Johto trainers. "DOUBLE NIGHT SHADE!" I yelled out infuriated. My two ghost Poke`mon's eyes turned a faint purple as they shot two large beams from their eyes, knocking out the remaining Pokemon and their trainers. I recalled my Poke`mon and dashed to Seig's side and knelt down. "Seig, Seig, wake up. Please wake up!" I said as I shook him a bit. "No Seig, you can't be dead." I whispered as I began to cry on his arm. I then felt a little nudge. "Don't worry Tifa. It's gonna take alot more then some bloody Neo-Johto goons to kill me." he grinned. I smiled at him and I hugged him tightly. "Seig, you big clown. You had me worried sick." I told him with a ear-to-ear smile. "You're not my mother but thanks for caring." Seig replied with a smile. I helped Seig walk until the ship stopped. We looked out a window to see we docked at a small seashore town. I guess this wasn't a Neo-Johto ship, they just infiltrated it and we kicked all their butts. "All aboard to Tarasu Town of the Crystal Isles!" a voice boomed from the loudspeaker. "Crystal Isles?" Seig asked. "A group of islands where trainers can collect gym badges from the eight gyms and when you get them all, you can take a boat to Crystal City, the city made entirely out of crystal where they hold the Crystal League Tournament." I explained. "Well I'll enter and win! Besides, I already have Swablu and Machop." Seig told me. I just smiled as we left the Gyrados sub and entered the town of new beginnings...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Next Time:
Hey it Seig, the hero of CI: AJtR. In the next chapter, I'm gonna register for the Crystal League but there's a entrance exam you must take inorder to enter. I know I have a good chance but come the Battle Test, they get a bit too extreme. Can Swablu, Machop and I survive this or will we end up high and dry? Find out in Chapter 3: The Entrance Exam!