The MisAdventures of Hiro!

[A Grilled Fish]

I actually find this quite funny.

It reminds me much of the two fics I wrote a couple years ago. 0_o They are extremely similar: "Squirtle's Trainer" and "How to Catch Wild Pokemon". Squirtle's Trainer I wrote first and it is longer and (IMO) not as funny, How to Catch Wild Pokemon I wrote next and it is much more similar to this fic. (It's mainly about cherry pits and cliches)

I might think about the possibility of maybe entering a contest to be eligible for a chance to think about possibly reposting it.

BTW, Ultra Poke, absolutely-no-sense-at-all fics DO exist, I love to write them. But to put things simply, most people hate them. I occasionaly write one, only a few people read it, some reply, and then it dies. Meh. I've given up after three years of trying, so the least I can do is support this wonderfully crazy fic.

[Ultra_Poke2000]

ok, #1: ROTFLMAO X 10!!!
#2: BWAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!
#3: LOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLLOOLOL!
there. im done with that!


neway,this is one of those icredibly funny makes-absolutley-no-sense-at-all LOL fics that i can only find realy rarely but im so glad when i do find it. post more, this is the best fic ever 4 laughs!!! anyway: LOLOLOL!!! great fic! culater.

[Ultra_Poke2000]

lots of ppl do seem to hate them, but i, on the other hand, find them to be diamonds in the mine. i cant wait till the next chapter.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Well, if there's anything I've learned from my years of writing this story, it's never give up. Because once in a while, you'll get a reader or two, just as I have now. And I haven't given up, for around 2 1/2 years, and it's nice to finally get some readers and recognition for that. [I just won the Oddest Writer Award]
I am working on writing chapter 10 right now, I should have it done within a matter of days. Sorry it wasn't up sooner, but school started and I've been really swamped, what with the depression and all... BUT THE HAPPY'S BACK! It's also taking a while to make it longer, like, for example, I turned the first four or five lines in the story into about half a page in word... So stay tuned for chapter 10.

o_0
jimm

[A Grilled Fish]

...

It's about time.

This story is the only reason I am still here on this board (except reasons besides this story). It is not that I dislike Pokemon, but I have way to busy a life currently (except during times when I do not have a busy life). I still can drop in here at my free period (or any other time I wish), but otherwise I'm doing sound for musicals (kind of), doing homework (kind of), programming (Well, I will be when I get my new computer)...

I encourage you to keep writing (unless it is in the least bit inconvienent). My life may (Note the month is not capitilized to show my humbleness) depend on it.


And "Happy's" was a very creative contraction which I congratulate you on.

Until vacation, goodbye for an extremely long period of time (relative to a cicada's life).

[The Decapitated Mole]

Lol, just a question, fish, how old are you?

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

...And, sorry for the double-post, but I finally finish chapter ten, and here it is.

Chapter Ten

Since you know Hiro walked through the tree, you know what I'm going to say, don't you? Well? I'm trying to speak to you, don't you know? So, I should probably start this chapter now, should I? M'kay.

Hiro walked through the tree. How typical. So anyway, as Hiro was walking through the tree, he spotted a birdhouse that said "HI! Welcome to the shrine of the FOREST PROTECTOR!"

"Neat. Well, I'll see you later then," excreted Hiro in his usual being foolishness.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Oh yeah. Thanks for reminding me, birdhouse. So, who's the forest protector?"

"HAHAHA! I'll tell you later, buddy!" bellowed the man behind the sign, running into the forest and being eaten b the mad Spinarak.

"Hey! I thought there was a birdhouse there a second ago! Who's in charge here?" howling madded Hiro, who was, in fact, howling mad at being decieved.

"What are you, foolish? There never was a birdhouse!" yelled the half-eaten chunk of hidden-sign-man, crawling out of the trees.

"Wait... yes there was! Look back there, I specifically thank the birdhouse for reminding me of... something that was pretty damn unnecessary now that I think of it." Can you figure out who's talking now? I'm tired of thinking up synonyms for describing speaking to make this story not really monotonous.

"CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!" screamed the sign, blowing up and in its place a birdhouse appeared and ate the evil wizard, who was already dead from being eaten by the Spinarak.

"So... will you tell me who the forest protector is now?" inquired Hiro hopefully, cause he just wanted to get the hell out of there.

"Weren't you listening? I already told you I'd tell you later. Now go, I'm busy chewing."

Well, that was a pain in the ***, so Hiro just decided to walk around for a while, eh? But eventually he came to a fork in the road, because, well, it was just there in the middle of the road. So he picked it up and continued down the path until it split into two paths, so he decided to consult Tog; "Hey, tog, you're magic, so tell me which way to go!"

Tog looked at him quizically. "Tog?"

"Welllllll?" screeched Hiro impatiently, for he, the mighty TYRANT, did not like to be kept waiting for the lower classes.

Tog, confused as always at Hiro's erratic behavior, obediently pointed left and piped up TOG!" like the good little fledgeling he was. So Hiro started walking on the right toward the right of the path, because he was on the right, which was already stated. Damn, I'm tired. Anyway, Tog was confused again. "Tog?"

"You! I remember you! SO GET BACK IN YOUR POKéBALL YOU BAD LITTLE FLEDGELING!" Yep! That's Hiro for ya!

"b-but I'm a good little fledgeling!" thought Tog, tears welling up in his eyes as he tried to figure out what he had done to so incur his mother's wrath.

Anywho, Hiro picked up Tog and tried to cram him into a Pokéball, but that didn't work, so he tried throwing Rocks at the Tog, and then at the Pokéball, but nothing was working, so he pressed the POKéBUTTON on the POKéBALL and all problems were solved, ok?

Just then Hiro noticed a kid, which was kind of strange, since the kid had been watching Hiro's misfortune with Tog all along. He had actually pushed the POKéBUTTON for Hiro, because it sickened him to watch a trainer try to return one of his Pokémon for 7 hours without resting. He was now headbutting trees, and yelling intelligently, "YAY! I'M HAVING FUN HEADBUTTING TREES!"

Hiro was crushed. He thought that he was the only one who had fun headbutting trees, but now the fact that he had never headbutted a tree in his life hit him square in the eyes, so he suddenly felt the urge to steal again. Don't ask. I'm still tired. So he stole the HEADBUTT TM! I'm too tired for description of theft now.

Hiro, once again disregarding the simple rules that even the small tiny things playing the POKéMON THE VIDEO GAME knew, threw the TM at Tog and ordered him to "HEADBUTT!" Unfortunately, being hit on the head with a TM did nothing to help the stupid little egg, so Tog resigned himself to sticking his head up his ***. This did nothing to improve Hiro's mood, obviously. I mean, come on, you realize that you're not the king of HEADBUTT anymore, and then your egg thing sticks its head up its ***??!? That is just cruel and unusual punishment. Poor guy. I'm talking about Hiro, by the way.

And speaking of Hiro, he's speaking; "YOU STUPID *****-*** CRAP HEAD! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HIT THE TREE! YOU SULLY MY TITLE AS CHAMP OF HBT!"

So tog, in an attempt to please his master, fell over and rolled into the tree, knocking some pinecones onto the headbutting kid and killing him. Isn't this a great story? Good, clean fun for all, yes indeed. Hiro got pissed again, and when Hiro's pissed, he has random memory lapses and severe brain cell loss. "How did you even get out of your Pokéball, anyway? Get back in there!" he called, advancing on Tog and his Pokéball with handfulls of Rocks. Tog clutched his Pokéball and ran through vally and hill until he hit the door of the other little adobe hut on the other side of the forest.

"HA! Stupid Togs can't open doors!"

Hiro finally figured out how to put Tog into his Pokéball... And he did it IN SONG with the help of a magical sparrow named WHITEY! [Oh my god, this has turned into a new Disney sequel! They won't take me alive!]

After helping to destory the rebel headquarters, conveniently located at Walt Disney World, Hiro opened the door of the hut, which had been destroyed in the amazing gnome battle that happened between paragraphs, and smelled a delicious SWEET SCENT from some random big butterfly.

"That smell.... It makes me want to steal.... Makes me want to smell it all the time... I BE DOIN' CRAZY BIDS, FOOL!" Bellowed Hiro, removing the Sweet Scent, throwing it at Tog's Pokéball, and running away.

"You know, there hath jutht been tho muh thievery in thith thtory!" wept the old woman, whose entire personal economy depended on people buying that sweet scent. And now, I must sleep, or I fear that I'll die. Seriously, my eyes are all red. It hurts. Well, goodbye.


**No togs were harmed in the writing of this chapter**

[A Grilled Fish]

Originally posted by The Decapitated Mole
Lol, just a question, fish, how old are you?

o_0
jimm

I can't tell you that until I know I can trust you.

I liked the beauty and wonder of the evil Tog. I can't believe how disgustingly malevolent that vicious... thing... is! I feel very moved by this story. By the way, I am currently thirteen years of age. I expect this story will win the Newberry Award in the near future. When I say near I mean rain, which sounds like umbrella. Umbrellas are similar to shovels, which remind me of paper. Beauty comes from paper, and wonder comes from following my logic. Beauty and wonder is the evil Tog! I can't believe how disgustingly malevolent that vicious... thing... is! I feel very moved by this story. By the way, I am currently thirteen years of age. I expect this story will win the Newberry Award in the near future. When I say near I mean rain, which sounds like umbrella. Umbrellas are similar to shovels, which remind me of pa- *SLAP*

[Ultra_Poke2000]

Anywho, Hiro picked up Tog and tried to cram him into a Pokéball, but that didn't work, so he tried throwing Rocks at the Tog, and then at the Pokéball, but nothing was working, so he pressed the POKéBUTTON on the POKéBALL and all problems were solved, ok?

ROTFLMAO!!! that has got to be one of the funniest things ive ever read! lol! hehehe... TOG! *fart* EEEEWWWW! stop farting Tog! *throws rox at Tog, then drinks a soda, and flys away saying "Red Bull gives you wiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnngggsss!" then falls back to the ground, realizing they were fake wings, and starts playing POKEMON SILVER for the GAME BOY COLOR!!*

[Heavenly Sage HLSOE]

This is a bunch of crap, extreme nonsense. But I like this...Its zany, I guess. Not really my style but the lucidity (XD) of this fic is overwhelming. I only read the first two chapters but the detail and stuff like that is ok.

[Ultra_Poke2000]

sure, it makes no sense and some will say its a big pile of crap, but that's a good thing! thats the point of stories like this: to be criticized by most and appreciated by the few who understand these things. cant wait 4 updates! cya.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Yay, finally is new chapters appearing here! BIG AMERICAN PARTY! American disco dancing! Lots of fun good time for all! Oh no! Police! *duhn duhn DUHNDUHNDUHN!* run! Car full of midgets! Quickly in here! Who is driving? Oh my god, bear is driving! How can that be?

*ahem* sorry. I watched too much clerks lately. *which is why it is mentioned in the afforementioned chapter*. buh bye now.

Chapter Eleven

Hiro tried to run out of the house, but he hit the door, so he decided to settle for walking through. Ain't that a hoot? So, on his way out, he was walking [Pooh] and saw a strange looking dog. A dog? Well, we'll just see about THAT, won't we?

"HEY! THAT'S A DOG!!" Hiro hooted, glancing around at the road to see if he was not alone in his groundbreaking discovery of DOG.

"So?" Questioned some foolish GuyOnTheRoad. Ha! What a fool!

"THERE ARE NO REAL ANIMALS IN THE WORLD OF POKéMON, FOOL! ARE YOU FOOLISH? SERIOUSLY, IT CAN'T BE THAT HARD TO TELL! C'MON, TELL ME THAT DOESN'T RESEMBLE A DOG!"

"Wow, you really beat that one to death, didn't ya there Hiro?" that damn kid inquired knowingly, with one of them crazy eyebrow-shifty things. You know what I'm talkin about.

"Don't blame me, it's the writer's fault for being SO DAMN LAZY!!! So what do you have to say to my hahaha, eh?" Added H to the Izzle.

"Well, if it can't be a realistic, then it's a something, not a dog! Let's fight!"

"WHAT? No, I don't work today. Why don't you call Randal? Cause I'm ****in tired! I'm playing hockey at two!"

"Knock it off! Eh or what?"

"Come on, give me a break!" whined Hiro whinily. What a whiny bastard.

"NO! GO MY SUPER-POWERED SUPER THING OF DEATH AND DOOM!" Bellowed RoadMan, throwing a rat into the playing screen.

"A rat-thing? Wow, you must suck poo at being the PoKéMoN Training abilities, hu?" rallied Hiro. What a loser. Only losers rally. Rallying is so out. I mean, really, show some style, man.

"What's wrong with you? Rallying is not a synonym for talking, or even asking. How did you just rally?" rallied[ha-hah!] the stupid Road-Thing.

"What? There's no rallying going on here! The only rallying I've seen is YOUR OWN!" unrallied Hiro.

"LIES! Don't fall for his evil demon-death-doom-filth-imitation-HESITATIO-LIES!" [That's pronounced Hez-ih-tay-shee-oh. A hesitatio lie is a lie where the liar hesitates before lying, therefore giving the lie away. Hiro was not being a hesitatio.] Screamed the now-desperate child, helplessly flailing for help, but sadly getting none. That's why he was so helpless. Duh, "HE is the real rallyer!"

"Alright, just stop, really. I'll fight your stupid rat-thing, just stop. I am through with the rallying of the talk conversation." Thought Hiro in a sudden burst of intelligence.What he said was "Shut up. Oh, by the way, your rat ran away while you were out rallying."

So... Seven hours [and tons of fun] later, we find our quasi-loser-imitatio-hesitatio-hero standing in front of the kid, ready to fight.

"Ha, I'll cream you now with my newly rescued super rat GO RAT AND USE YOU TAIL IN SOME SORT OF WHIPPING FASHION!!!" screamed ratman. So his ratta went and whipped some air with tail ability. Cool. Unfortunately...

"You fool! What, have you been drinking? I didn't send out a Pokémon yet! Fool." Annoyed Hiro. Imagine, this rat-kid having the audacity to come and attack Hiro's air. The nerve of some people.

"Oops"

"Aight, 'emme sample fo' youse, kih'. TOG, USE YOU MECHONOMME!" slurred Hiro incoherrently. [He was in fact the fool, cause he was not in fact slurring, just trying to speak.

Tog jumped out and, since he couldn't understand Hiro's order, just decided to use Cut. So he did. How straightforwardly odd for a straightforward thing. Eh? That's a neat word, eh? Just like them canadians. I want to live in Canada someday... But anywho, Tog cut off the tattas tail, so the kid threw a fit and stole Hiro's money again, after kicking something. For safety's sake, I won't tell you what was kicked, but it was some sort of inanimate object that wasn't actually there, because I'm not telling you of the kick. Understand?

"Ay no... not back to this again."

Just then Hiro ran away for a while. Just like that guy who runs. Except Hiro died after a few feet, and was resurrected then as a Ditto who took the form of Hiro, which was then killed and resurrected as the body of DeadHiroNo1, which came back to life, and Hiro sprung into action and right away saw a dad and little kid-monster. The beast had on a Pikachu Mask and decided to insulting the Hiro was the best course of action to get not life. So he stated[quite truthfully] "Hey, look daddy! A weak little **** for us to kill! If I kill him will you buy me a special snackbox? SNACKBOX?" The only truthful part being about the snackbox, because it existed.

"No, Jr, no snackboxes. Just WATCH YOUR MOUTH! Stupid little kid must die. Stupid little. Why are you here? Hey, you! Weak little ****! Take this kid and I'll give you a special snackbox!" Bellowed the stupid little's father willingly, thrusting both child and snackbox at Hiro. Simultaneously, I might add. But I don't, so mind your business.

"Sorry, but I'd rather kill you in UBER 1337 PKMN FITE!!1111" semi txt-ed Hiro. What a loser again. I wish I had a cellphone.

"Kay! Go fight snubble!"Shouted the kid, regurgitating his snubble, "Snubbly, wear PIKACHU MASK for super power ability, fun?" The snub didn't want mask, so it died in the fight. No more detail now, I've rambled too long already.

After the snubble thing-po died, the little kid had no more mask, so he was all sad and such. Right? "Now look, you've gone and upset my son!" lied the kid's dad liefully. Stupid lieface.

"Ha! Now I rap! I care not for this tot! I made a rhyme, just in time! I killed your snubble, his head pop like bubble! And if you don't move that kid, I'll make him skid!" shouted Hiro dutifully, shoving the PikaKid through a fence. Meanie. The kid went through the fence into an endless field of tall grass and once he had traveled a few feet, froze and was stuck in a hideous glitch of doom. Loser.

Hiro stalked off towards a new house, that said "NOT POKéMON GYM" all over it. Stupid house. It crushes dreams. So Hiro was glaring at it, "This had better be the Pokémon gym, or I'll kill something!"

"This isn't the gym," crackled the Pikachu Pokédex [from this point on known only as Pikadéx] after Hiro had glared at the building for a few hours, causing Hiro to walk back and kill the HiroDittoReincarnationVersionII. Enough.

[A Grilled Fish]

Comments:

And then the Fantastic Four went to the strippers, but they didn't let the invisible woman enter, unless she dances. They are coming... I can't wait for T3H B33KL3! I'm driving in circles again... or not? Oh my goodness, a ribbon. How nice. BANANAS!!!!!! Manda, you are my perfect drug. Tyuramalakhamulodey. OMG just 2 more pageviews to have 200! yay
Please don't shoot me! I have four families to feed!

Ôo

On second thought, just shoot me. Quick.
U r s000000000000000000000000 bl00d th1rsty.

(but it looks good on you)
Really? Would you burn the burry the bodies for me? I love you! Oh, so there's Panrahk's head! I've been looking for it for ages. Wow! You have found a kiwi! Was it under the bed? Maybe, but rumors said he travelled to Texas. Once upon a time there were three rabbits. One was named Foot, one was named Foot Foot, and one was named Foot Foot Foot. The next day, there were six rabbits. Then the next day there were twelve, then twenty-four, and then they all suddenly died because of an STD. And then Mr. Bad Wolf bought a derby car and destroyed the 3rd little pig's house.

Then he ripped apart his arms and legs and eat it.

This is the true story.

Fuzzeh gloves!

[The Decapitated Mole]

hahaha i have now new now new now new now new now new now new chapters!!!

->That's an arrow. ::::Hiro returns!::::


Chapter 40:

***FLASHBACK!***
Both: Ha ha ha, what a dumbass!
***END FLASHBACK!***

Hiro: Wow... that was kool.
Pikadex?: No it wasn't, you hideous fool.
Mike:habrsobr-sac
Hiro: YEA!
pIKADEXl: Nooooooooo
Hiro: YESSSSSSSS!
Mike: hulabalooooooooo!
Hiro: 'Fraid so.
Gym leader: What you talkin' bout, fool?
Hiro:Alright, but I want to bring these guys along.
Leader: Well, it's highly unorthadox, so that means yes?
Pikadex: No.
Leader: All right, then, you are the weakest link, goodbye.
Hiro: NOOO! SHE'S BACK!
They all three of them ran from evil weakestlink ldy. Buh bye now, cause she ran after them.
Dave Mandel: Thanks for watching!

[The Decapitated Mole]

I spent 2 hours last night in a caffeine-induced writing spree, completing this brand-new 5 1/2 page long chapter.
I would like to dedicate this chapter to Red Bull, Cake[the band], and everyone I put on Jimmix Vol. 8 [including DJ Qbert, Barenaked Ladies, Marcy Playground, Weezer, etc.]

Chapter Twelve

Hiro saw the house. But after all, it wasn't the Pokémon Gym, so why bother seeing it, right? Well, that was precisely in the Hiro's way of thinking, so he decided to just walk past the house. How unfortunately rude. I mean really, that house was being just fine, all there and such, when Hiro had to come along with his killing, stealing, and reincarnations... Up until then, everything had been fine. Thanks a bunch, H.

"Get on with it, already!" Quotes Hiro immediately, how rude to me. One of these days... Anywho, while Hiro was walking right on by that house and by the by just happened to be yelling at me in the process, his attention was most unfortunately caught on a piece of wood sticking out of the ground, and while he was trying to disentangle himself, he caught a glimpse of That Old Guy. Yep, the one and only, BREEDING POKé DUDE! Let's watch!

"Uh..." mumbled Hiro's brain, before catching its second wind and picking up the pace a bit. About time, too. That lazy bastard was costing me ca$h! "That's a guy who's got an egg! I'm thinking of a number from one to Tog, see if you can guess what it is!!!"

"TEH OLD GUY WHAT RAISED MAH TOG!" responded Hiro correctly, and consequentially in the process of that answer, caught the old dude's attention. He then threw it back. Wow.

"Toodling the pip, me young feller, me bucko! Bright and readying for my vittles, I suppose?" Barked EggMan in standard EggMan fashion. To which Hiro was forced to respond. So he did.

"Well, that's just a bit much, I hardly even know you! But while you're at it, have a complimentary TOG, compliments of being complimentary, thank you very much!" rendered Hiro, snapping Tog into action and hurling him into the head of his adversarious Eggdude.

"That surprisingly is the resemblance to an egg that was given to Mr. Pokémon. I don't like that guy, he's a bit of an ***, but he does know his eggs. Do you know your eggs? WELL? DO YOU?!?!?"

"No, foolman, it be the egg that be comin' out of me ***!" Rebuttled Hiro. Pha! Bhaha! Bhahahahahaha! ..ha...

"Right then, this one,"settled the breedman, "has gotten foul. DEAR! I GOTS ME A DIRTY MOUTH HERE! CLEAN IT UP, I CAN'T STAND TO HEAR THEM DRITY WORDS! THEY **** WITH ME HEAD!"

"Hey! You gotts teh badd language in you!" rioted the riotous Hiro. "HYPOCRITICAL SCUM, YOU WILL BE WASHED FROM THE EARTH! PHA! BHAHA! BHAHAHAHAHAHA! ..ha.."

"Be that as it may, you young piece of crap, you've eaten bad contextual words, them's should never be touched, got it?" Lectured Eggy. "NOW THEN, DEAR, GET THE DEMON CLEANSING SOAP, WE'RE GONNA HAVE US A GOOD OLD FASHIONED CURSE CLEANIN'!"

Suddenly a huge hairy figure appeared in the doorway. It couldn't fit through it, so it just kind of appeared there. Just like that thing that appears. Except that this new appearance was just a wicked fat hairy ugly chick, all fat and ugly and hairy and stuff. Yellin', too. All yellin and stuff, pretty scary overall, wouldn't you say? Well, I would anyway. I don't care what you say, because I say that...

...Anywho, That Old Fat Chick is all yellin' and stuff, lookin' pretty raunchy, too. Check it out!

"Sorry love, I could only find the good shower soap!" bellowed the fatass, throwing an almost used up, hairy, stankin' bar o' soap at The Old Guy. Wow, what a biotch. That's also some thing. I forget what I was gonna say. Pha! Bhaha! Bhahahahahaha! ..ha..

"Damnit, wife, I ain't bought a new bar of soap in my life, and I sure ain't gonna start now. We shan't foul our Prize Soap with that foulmouthed bastard! Get the Emergency PlunGer!" shouted the once again OLDDUDE, throwing the HorribleSoap back at the huge hairy figure, which un-appeared itself from the door, only to return a short while later with an even filthier, nastyish-type semi-brown, soggy plunger. But that hasn't happened yet, so disregard that last paragraph. NO, WAIT!!! Just disregard everything after the dialogue part, and then, just kinda... do something.

"HEY OLDY!" beefed Hiro squelchily to the Oldy.

"Shut. Up I can't bear to hear any more of your goddamned bad words!" meh.

"Go away, luzzr. You've probably said more swears in the last 12 paragraphs than I have in this whole story! [Chapter 6 excluded]" Hiro provoked angrily. Bring it!

"NONSENSE! It's just you are foolish, is all. ?" what the hell is that question mark there for?

Just then: only to return a short while later with an even filthier, nastyish-type semi-brown, soggy plunger. [the fat apparition is back] Surprised yet? You won't be eventually. Don't you fret.

"JUST THEN!"

The plunger reappeared into Hiro's mouth, and then disappeared back out a short time later, as the Old People just kind of churned it around inside the HiroMouth for a time. But they only did that until they both stopped cursing like sailors and discussing the minutia of pop culture. That's from Clerks the Animated Series, snoogans. So is that.

"Whell now, that you owe us somewhere in the respectability of 1500 YenByTheHour for this delightful cleansing experience, you young rip!" Pha! Bhaha! Bhahahahahaha! ..ha..[OldMan said it]

"Uh... Oh yeah! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" gasp "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" gasp "O! I been teh on1e who be robbed! NOCASH!" gasped Hiro, one called, the, before running for a while, dying again, going through the whole reincarnation thing from the last chapter seven times more, and finally making it to Goldenrod. What a surprise.

"SO ANYWHO!"

After getting lost a bunch of times, gambling away his mom, and getting some underground railroad smugglers put away for a good and mighty long time [quite mighty, yes! Anyone who tries to smuggle an underground railroad out of here should be shot! We've only got a few of those ya know!], Hiro finally got to where he wasn't headed: a big ol' tower thing, with some sort of radio thing! There was also the ROCKETTE DUDDE standing around being the suspicious dude, so Hiro decided to investigate.

"Hey, ROCKET! What's goin' on with you here, eh! Wait, that should be a question mark! Let me rephrase myself. Hey, ROCKET! What's goin' on with you here, eh? Much better, I can see." Nonsensicalitied Hiro in the Rocket's direction.

"So this is the place to be, huh? Wow..." Muttered the guy suspicioultastically, before noticing Hiro and yelling "hey you kid, get out of here! I'm acting too suspicioustastic for you!"

"I'll go. But first tell me what you're doing here.!" A HA! That was a typo! [by the way, Hiro is talking here]

"So this is the place to be, huh? Wow..." Muttered the guy suspicioustastically, before noticing Hiro and yelling "hey you kid, get out of here! I'm acting too suspicioustastic for you!"

"Stop you repeating, Rocket! Tell me your business here! I am Unquestionable Hiro!" challenged Unquestionable Hiro.

"So this is the place to be, huh? Wow..." Muttered the guy suspicioustastically, before noticing Hiro and yelling "hey you kid, get out of here! I'm acting too suspicioustastic for you!"

"WHY MUST THIS BE???" Hiro unquestionably responded, him being unquestionable and all.

"So this is the place to be, huh? Wow..." Muttered the guy suspicioustastically, before noticing Hiro and yelling "hey you kid, get out of here! I'm acting too suspicioustastic for you!"

"BAH!" rebelled Hiro, once again unquestionably, before noticing a sign next to this guy! A sign! Guess what this one said!

=This guy is not a robotic tourguide, he is a robotic RocketDude, who is here to make you suspicious and considering. Pha! Bhaha! Bhahahahahaha! ..ha..=

"This is a very confusing place. I should have payed attention in school, cause I don't remember anything abou--" Hiro stopped abruptly when he noticed that there was a building behind the SuspiciousRocket, who was still talking about the place to be, and him being suspicioustastic and all. Damn, I am tired of typing the word suspicioustastic. From now on, it will never be repeated.

"HAHAHA, I AM NOW WILL WALK INTO A BUILDING, JUST LIKE THIS YEEHA!!" mumbled Hiro, trampling FakeRockerNumeroUno on his way to walking into the building, which he is now in, by the way. Just so you know. I want to keep you up to date, and all such.

Anywho, Hiro just kinda walked in, and then noticed that there was a guy standing at a desk. So he walked up to him and screamed "I WANT A RADIO!!!"

"Sorry, *** head, the radio giveaway is in the next building. This is a hat store." replied HatMan.

"There's a radio giveaway?" quizicalled Hiro quizically.

"Yeah, it's, um, in the radio station next door. Now leave promptly, lest ye incur not leaving!"

"What the hell is a radio station?!?" rambled Hiro unsuccesfully.

"Please leave. You're scaring away all my Hats." kicked the Hat Dude, saiding Hiro out the door.

"Why I oughta..." started Hiro, before "hey, look! A radio station!"

He walked in and screamed at the guy behind the desk "I WANT A RADIO!"

"Damn, dude, I told you, the radio giveaway is NEXT DOOR!!!" yelled the Hat Guy again.

"Radio...giveaway? I'm sorry, you lost me. What were we talking about again?"

By this time the Radio guy had forehead vein bulgy and eye twitchy. "You were just about to go next door and get youself a radio!" he replied, forcing a smile and pushing Hiro out the door.

"Oh, ok. Thanks!" responded Hiro before looking both ways, entering the building, walking up to the guy behind the desk and screaming "I WANT A RADIO!"

"JESUS CHRIST, DUDE, GO NEXT DOOR!!!"bellowed the hat person, throwing Hiro through the Radio station window, after which he promptly stood up, walked up to the lady behind the desk and screamed "I WANT A RADIO!"

"No. Take this test first. I have to know if you know enough about Pokémon to operate a radio!" retorted the DeskLady.

"What?"

"Just shut up and take the test, loser!" prompted the RadioWoman, thrusting a paper at Hiro. He then scribbled pointlessly for a few hours, wrote an answer for another hour, asked the woman several times to repeat the question, and then carefully read the questions on the paper for a solid 4 hours, during which Team Rocket carried in their S*s*i*i*u*t*s*a*t*cRocket from outside and invaded the entire building like a bad sequel of what happened in the Silph building in the older games.

"HAHA! I FINSIHED WITH JUST ENOUGH TIME TO SPARE! HERE! RADIO PLEASE!" spouted Hiro, throwing the paper at the lady, who ate it and yelled "YOU HAVE DOUBLE F-MINUS, FAILURE FOR YOU!!! NO-RADIO!"

"What? I must have radio! Everyone in my family has had radio! My father and his father and his father... I HAVE DISCRACED MY FAMILY NAME! GIVE ME TEH RADIO!!!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

...After several hours of this, Hiro realized that it was nowhere, shouted "SHUT UP *****!" stole a radio card, inserted it into his PokéGear, turned around, ate some Pie, turned around some more and then RAN INTO A ROCKET!!!

Pha! Bhaha! Bhahahahahaha! ..ha..

[mr_pikachu]

Yes, this is exactly what I expected. Your title lied. NO COOKIE FOR YOU!

While I'd usually give you about ten pages worth of lessons on how to write, use description, and spell correctly, it's pretty clear from your other, semi-coherent posts that you do understand parts of the English language, and are merely making a spoof. j/k. But I digress.

This actually serves your purpose quite well, which is to act as a joke about the Pokemon world in general. And while it's not all that funny all around, there were some parts which had me snickering. Yes, snickering. That's as good as it'll get. j/k. But I digress again.

Anyway, this is... remarkably silly, and somewhat cute, in its own grotesque, deranged way. But I mean a grotesque, deranged way in a good way, and that's way cool! WAAAY. ...Argh. I must stop digressing!

[/spoofiness]

Well, now that the "spooferific" part of my post is over, I will say that this is better than the last version, which left me wondering what the big deal was after three immensely short chapters. This is definitely an improvement, especially with the non-script format quotes. Keep on working on this, and maybe create a non-spoof fic someday. That'd give the rest of us our daily "HAPPY'S", to quote you from earlier. But enough of my digressing.

[A Grilled Fish]

If you want to parodize the human condition with strawberries, atonement can be attained through alliteration. If you want to sppof the condition of Pokemon with someone named Hiro, alliteration can be attained through atonement.

The new chapter seems to be a stream of conciousness, running down towards a bay of counter-plaguiarism. The literary style of your nonsensical sentences is wonderful, groundbreaking, and easy to tell it is a parody of bad writing.

I think it is a parody of bad writing.

When can one tell?

Is the glass twenty-five percent vapid or is the ambiguity in the box?

...

[The Decapitated Mole]

Ya know what's phunny? It takes me a month or more to get up a new chapter, yet it only takes about 1-2 hours to write. Sorry about teh spellings in this chapptah, but I wrote it under a blacklight, so it was kinda hard to see the screen.

Chapter Thirteen

Well then... After RocketRunny, Hiro started to notice some weird music playing, seemingly out of nowhere. Well, that's a bit odd. I mean, random music doesn't just randomly play, all by itself, and such more! So any... WHO!...

"What?" exclaimed RadioWoman questionably, as to the existence of the Rockettes.

"Yeah! Where's that music? Coming from, even! Eh? Eh? Huh? Eh?" spat Hiro, once again just as questionably. What's with all these questionable people? If I didn't know them, I'd say they were being somewhat odd, but now that you know that I'll have to kill you. Bu that's not important now.

"I wasn't talkin' aboot no muzak!" rambled RW irritably, "I've got a train to catch before I miss it, and now I've learned that there are rockets involved, too? This is just way too much for a simple RadioGiverTesterMadame such as myself."

"NO! NOT YOU AGAIN RADIO! YOU WERE IT FOR THE LAST CHAPTER, THAT'S IT! YOU'VE HAD YOUR TIME TO SHINE, AND NOW IT'S MINE!" cajoled Hiro, once again trying to sneak in his fifteen minutes of fame. Heh, that Hiro. He can be quite a handfull at times, don't you agree?

No.

"MINE, I SAY, MMIINNEE!!!!!"

"Fine then. I'll just leave. But the next time you need a random Pokémon-themed RadioTest, just remember that YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE, TOM FOOLERY THE FIRST!!!"

"Well, thanks a bunch. I'll just go, then," muttered Tom disappointedly. It's a shame, too. He was shaping up to be a nice addition to the team. But no matter, he died of BeanPoisoning a few seconds later, though amusingly enough, not from beans.

Suddenly, Professor Oak stuck his head out of the doorway, which was now being blocked by the Rocket that Hiro had started up with. "Uh, people? Can we get back on schedule? These EvilGuys are really beatin' the hell out of me at the moment, so I'd really like some assistance. No hurry, though,. Whenever you're ready."

"Sure thing, Oakman. Sorry 'bout that, but it's not my fault, ya know?" apologeticced Hiro.

"Yeah, them big LuZzRs up there can get quite a bit carried away, if ya know what I mean!" rebuked Oak, ribbing Hiro in the nudges.

"I hear dat. Now let's get this show on the road!"prepared Hiro. "So, where waz that weird music coming from, anyway?"

"GGR[I dunno]UNNNTT!" Grunted the obvious Rocket Grunt, throwing another Rat at the screen and LoudlyGrunting "GGGRRRUUU[GO RATAGAIN!]TT!!"

"Hahaha, more rats makes for more PKMNKILLIN PWNAGE! Go Lapras!" reared Hiro, laughing at his amazing at his amazing RatLuck.

Suddenly, however, a look of realization slowly dawned on the Grunt's face, which was quickly replaced by one of PH33R.

"What's up, grunty?" questioned Hiro concernedly. Why?

"I just remembered that we're not supposed to be here yet!!!" He managed to blabber out without grunting, before he vanished in some Smoke. Then Hiro, DeskMan2, and RadioWoman all heard similar screams from upstair, before the building was flooded with more Smoke and was closed and condemned for polluting the Air. You may come back when the RadioPeople have decided to nicen up a bit. Thank you for your concerns.

"Oh bejezuss. That was annoying. So I guess I'd better listening to this Pokémon summoning song on my NewFoundRadio," bellowed Hiro, thrusting the radio in the face of EveryoneInTheArea. What a showoff. Even Richard McCracken didn't show0OFF that much, and he didn't like corn! But anywho...

"La la, I love the Song that summons Pokémon!" sang Hiro merrily as he listened gleefully to his hard-earned Radio. All of a sudden [AKA suddenly] whole bunches of Pokémon jumped out of their little crevaces and sped toward the radio, each jumping in turn, trying to snatch the DeadlySummoningThing from Hiro's hand. What fun.

"What the hell? Why are all these Pokés chasing after the PokéSummoningSong?"wondered Hiro aloud to himself. Suddenly, he had a revelation; "OH YEAH! The Pokémon Summoning song summons Pokémon! Cool! I WIN!" Hiro decided to throw some Pokéballs at stuff, but got confused when the Pokémon weren't inside them already. So he just beat them savagely over the noggin until they died. Then he threw the Pokéballs again, and when the new Pokés were not in them this time, he was mad. So he gave each one a thorough talking to before sternly smacking them with a Pokéball, and finally catching them by being cool and stuff. Had he known that he had just captured the StrangeMagicDog that he had seen earlier, he would have been excited. But that was almost 3 chapters ago, so he had obviously forgotten about it. However, the lucky bastahd had cought himself a Rat, a FireRat,, a WaterTurt, a Phish, a Boog, and of course his MagicSuperDog

Heumheamn

That was fun. But I think Hiro's yelling again, so let's check in on him.

"Hiro has caught!!! AND MORE, BUNCHES OF POKéMON THEN YOU EVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE!!! PIKADEX TELL ME ABOUT TEH POKKS!!!" Hiro was jumping up and down like a madman again, but this time there were pants involved. Swift. But now it's Pikadex's turn.

<<Them = Pokémon, eh?>> PD informed Hiro, making sure to inject plenty of Personality into said voice again.

"SWEET!!" Bellowed Hiro niftily. But then he just shut up right now and walked over to the Gym. What a quick walk. I wonder WhySoQuick? Well, ask him yourself! So he's there, by the way. But now, after he's gone inside and everything, he has found Whitters, the Leader of Gym, to be CRYING! Can you believe that? How incredibly RUDE!! So Hiro's had enough of this, he rockons. What's he sayin'?

"YOU! AIN'T NO CRYIN' BE ALLOWED UNTIL YOU HAVE TEH LOST TO ME! WOMAN, WHAT'S WITH THE TEARS, WOMAN? WHYYYYYYY!!!???!??!!??!??!?!?!??!?" Screeched Hiro, and in the process stuffing one of the annoying wannabes into a Pokéball, which turned her into a Pokémon. Cool!

"Phred!" sobbed Whitters wetly.

"Phred?!? I thought Mr. Jimm killed him and that stupid SkippyHippyProtector dude years ago! I was there!" raged Hiro. He had been Mr. Jimm's top student in Canada, killing at least 3 hippies a day and bringing him a keg at least once a week, until Mr. J was killed in a freak Paper Cut accident years ago, and Japan had taken over Canada to make room for all the Pokémon leagues.*

"No, Fred! You heard wrong, ass head!" sobbed Whitters, nearly drowning herself as tears poured into her open mouth.

"That bastard took my RIGHTFUL POSITION! HEARMENOW, FRED! PREPARE YOURSELF FOR DISTRACTION!"

"What?" shouted Fred, a couple miles away.

"Haha, I win!" shouted Hiro.

"What?"

"Haha!"

"What?"

"Haha!"

"What?"

"Oh, forget it!"

"OK!"

"Hey!!" shouted Hiro angrily, but it didn't matter because none of that made any sense anyway. Now back to Whitters. "What did that rat bastard to to strip me of my RightfulJob?" questioned H. again.

"HE STTOLED MAH POKKES!!" screamed Whitters, before falling on the floor in a sobbing fit, convulsing as tears engulfed her body.

"Excellent," said Hiro calmly, his voice becoming dignified and businesslike all of a sudden. "Now I may beat you properlyy. LAPRAS!" he called. But the Lapras did not come, for it was buried in a Pokéball. So he managed to dig it out after about an hour or so, and then set it on Whitters happily, once again businesslike and such. "Hyper Pump."

Whitters stopped crying long enough to point out "Uh, Hiro? No such move exists."

"Well now, I believe it do! HYPERPUMPHYPERPUMPHYPERPPUUMMPP!!!!!" squealed Hiro to Lapras, who couldn't understand what he was talking about. And as it couldn't understand him, it could not do his MagicMove. So it just smacked Whitters against the wall and ran away.

"HA! NOW, WHITTERS, BEHOLD TO ME MY BADGE!!!" Roared Hiro, believing his NewMove to be a huge success. In fact, the smack had killed Whitters, but Hiro didn't have to know that.

"I dunno..." replied some voicemail, as Hiro kicked the Carcass-O-Whitters.

"I said badge!!!" replied Hiro angrily. He needed said badge, and really needed IT.

"Fine, but I DUN NO!" screamed the VoiceMail again. Hiro opened the phone up and found it to be one of them fake phones full of candy, except that this one was full of badges, which he ate anyway. After a few days, it came out again, so he made some tracks OOTG [Out Of The Gym]. But after running several feet he just decided that he was fat, and needed a skateboard for moving ability.

"Man I'm fat. I wish I had a skateboard."

[A Grilled Fish]

Here comes another one. Here it comes again.
/*//<!- [AMBIGUITY]
//And once again, bravely defying the normal boundaries of the
//english language, a breakthrough in acidic technology has
//broken through quite palpably. The writing was unmatched to
//Tolstoy's Anna Karenina - there's nothing quite like it. [/AMBIGUITY] --> */

[The Decapitated Mole]

Welcome to new ChapterForTyonE!!! Have lots of phun but don't eat my pun! Hahahahahaha but anywho I really hope this turns out good. Enjoy!


Chapter 41

That was very weird.
Hiro: Eh? Wired? Who say what wired that was said?
Mike: Noekeuj330dmmdksolwkwnodkno
Hiro: You know what? It's time to get on the ball. We're gonna go get us some BRAND NEW POKéMON BADGE S AND THIS IS TIME FOR GETTING BACK ON TRACK! ARE YA WITH ME MIKE?????!
Mike: N04ikn03
Hiro: [yay]] ARE YA WITH ME PIKADEX?????!?
Pikadex" Shut up you loser.
Hiro: [yay] ARE YA WITH ME UNOWNS???????!
Unowns: Unowsn
Hiro: [yay] ARE YA WITH ME OLD LAPRAS???????
Old lapras: OldLap.
!
Hiro: [yay] ARE YA WITH ME NEW LAPRAS!!!!!!!!!?
New Lapras: NewLap.
Hiro: ARE YA WITH ME TOG?????????!11!?!??
Tog: Hey, check it out! I just learned to talk! I'm ready, sorta.
Hiro: Hey! Let's get some team spriit up in here, tog? This ain't just about you new SPeaking Ability, here, this if for US!
Suddenly Tog begins to cry. Seeing this, Hiro kicks him.
Hiro: KICK!!!
Tog: You suck!
Hiro: Fine.
Tog: You suck!
Hir: Fine. But at least I know when I can talk!
Tog: That cuts me real deep, H.
Hiro: Fine.
Tog: Aight, let's go.
Hiro: I'm not finished rollcall yet. ARE YA WITH ME SUICUNE?????????!@
etc.




that was I think one of the longest chapters I've written. I think that the new Hiro is starting to influence the Old Hiro. Oh well.

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

I'm only going to assume that what you've said is good. :p But anywho, CHAPTAH FOUTEN!!!11

Chapter Fourteen

So the thought had entered Hiro's head, but realization was imminent. But it was not exactly a thought, more of a saying. And sayings, as we all know, are meant to be said. Which is exactly how it happened. Or did it...

But anywho, we'd better get BackOnTrack. So as the thought [or saying, as it were] had escaped Hiro's inner confines, he realized that all sense of direction had been lost. How sad. So let's hear some speech!

"CURSES!" bellowed Hiro, "Walking around makes for the MakingExcercise! That doesn't sound like my usual diet of message boards and laziness! Calories shall burn! Hunger will build! Tension levels will rise to an unprecedented high! This must be stopped... At All Costs!"

Sounds like a good plan, right? Well, ok then. I guess you're all smarter than me, so why am I even here?!?! I'm only the narrator, after all. I swear, any more of this and I will halt this to a stop! Now I want no more of this nonsense! You just leave the decision making to us! Now let's check in with Hiro. He should be making a Discovery about now...

"Hey, you! Up in the NarrationBooth! Knock off your DecisionMaking! I'll make the choices around here! If any Discovering gets done, I will decide just when and where! Are we clear on that?" Bojangled Hiro. But little does he know that he can never defeat the ever-popular ME!

"I SAID IS WE KRYSTEL!!!!"

No

"Well, you'd best start to Krystel yourself up, there. It's all the rage now, anyway. And I won't have an UncooporativeNarrator. So... Crystal?" Hiro responded, extending an arm for hand shakey. Quite well, too, I might add. He's got me beat.... for now! responded the narrator, shaking Hiro's OutstrechedPalm. Little does he know that I, SECRETNARRATORNUMERODOS, am about to sneak attack the Position of Narrator. So, uh, don't be too surprised if there is a sudden lack of Narration any time soon. Thanks.

"Hey! Look! I've spotted a sign!' Shouted Hiro eagerly, pointing at the sign. I was right, as usual. Discovery was inevitable. Thumbs u--

"I'd better read this sign aloud, since it's a sign!"

"Who ya talkin' to, Hiro?"

"Shut up Pikadéx! I'm investigating a matter that requires much investigation... SIGN READING!!!"

"Then read it already!" "Hey, wait a sec-- where'd the narration go?"

"What the hell are you talking about, Pikadéx? " Hiro questioned, gesturing to all the narration going on all around them at that very moment, "There's lots of narration going on around us at this very moment!"

"Touché, Narrator." suspicioustasticced the Pikadéx, making eye-shifty as he did so.

"Yeah, so anywho, I'm gonna go ahead and read that sign now." announced Hiro heroically. By the way, just out of curiosity... is his name pronounced 'Hiro' or 'Hiro?' Se, I've been using 'Hiro,' but I'm not entirely sure if that's right. But that's for another day, perhaps. "TAKE IT AWAY, SIGN!"

New, Skateboard Shop, opening tomorrow!

"Wow, that sign was both informative and grammatically incorrect," rambled Pikadéx, as unhelpful and critical as ever. Thanks a bunch.

"Despite your best efforts, Pikadéx, I have bested you once again. A back door has been found... or is it an entrance? We may never know! This is why it's a mystery. But all that aside, I'm gonna go get a skateboard." rambled Hiro, in his best attempt to keep a civil tone because he was feeling ignorance at the sight of Pikadéx. That made no sense whatsoever. I blame the writer.

So Hiro decided to go back to his roots and steal himself another stolen object. This time, however, there was a skateboard involved, just as there were pants last time. So Skateboard was stolen, as already stated this was, just a second earlier. As he was leaving, however, a new twist was added to this horrible semi-plot, because [you'll never guess what happens next!] Hiro turned around and TOOK THE PHONE BOOK! He actually took the phone book. Ain't that just the funniest thing you've ever heard, in all your days? I think it is. So shut up.

"Hee hee ha!" rambled Hiro, "I shall now disembark on a night of TonsOfFun with PrankCalling in the mix! And now I will call my mom, who was so kind as to provide me with this illegally smuggled product with which I am able to make such PhunKalls. Let's do it!" There were sounds of buttons being pressed, while at the same time, the buttons weren't pressed. But then again, they might have been. I haven't gotten much sleep lately. Forgive this chapter.

Phone... DIaL..........pHONE...dIall...RingRingRing!

And that's when the answering machine kicked in.

"Hello. You have reached the house of the InnocentMother of GuiltyStealingHiro. He is making prank calls at this very moment, and now there are police at my door! Why would that be? I'm InnocentMother! Innocent, I tells ya! Innocent!" The answering machine rambled out before two loud gunshots could be made audible, and then a loud beep, indicating that it was time to leave a message. So you'd better get crackin' on that one.

"Mom's dead then, eh?" rambled Hiro.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Well, I guess the economically viable solution would be NewspaperWrap, but that's only good for fish. So they should probably just wrap the body in newspapers, she can't tell the difference anyway. Who's she going to complain to, her son? But anyway, I should probably get to work on becoming NotLost.

Suddenly Tom walked up for another OneLastAppearance. "Hey, by the way, who won that narrator battle? he rambled audaciously.

Me.

[Ultra_Poke2000]

HA HA that was funny and i havn't posted here in a long time cuz i just remembered it but it's still funny HAHAHHA so what now i am not using puncchooayshun or speelign rite cuz its reeeeeleee funnn joo kno HAHA what now o well lets say it was funnneeeeeee and go okay there now isnt that beter im sure it is but you need my crazy reply dont you hHAHHA thr33 last wordz FUNNY THIS IZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111oneoneoneoneoneeleven

[Dragonfree]

I can't believe I didn't bother reading this before. I laughed out loud quite a few times, and slapped my forehead even more often out of the sheer stupidity of it all. There are two kinds of comedies, those with a sense of humour that make you smile and snicker, and those just so crazy they crack you up.

This has been proclaimed a quality comedy fic by Dragonfree

[The Decapitated Mole]

lol, thanks, the crazy humor is what I like best. And I'm glad that this is quality, wh00t!

UltraPoké-- I was wondering where you'd gone. lol but I'm glad you're back and still liking Hiro. [and yes, I do need your crazy post :p]

And now... I give you... In his first appearance in the New Hiro... Chapter 15 [with Mike!]!!!!!

Chapter Fifteen

Well after that hideous terrible chapter of Narration and Old Guest Appearances, it was decided that, as was typical for a story of this magnitude, walking should be commenced immediately. Once again, He or I shall add musically.

"..." UnSpoke Hiro, walking completely along before noticing a mysterious absence of a certain detail. One that was absent, even! "Well, it seems you've screwed me again, Narrator! Or should I say... FRED!"

What?

"Oh, don't be so surprised. I knew it was you from the moment I layed eyes on everything that happened." rattled off the strange HiroThing? "You should be ashamed! You see? There are question marks where belongs a period, or at very least a comma! There is no place in the grand old art of Narration for incompetence like has been displayed here today!"

No. Now, back to the Forgotten bit of Narration...

"I SHALL TOLERATE THIS NO LONGER!" bellowed The.

Oh yes you shall.

"YES I SHALL!" once again, the bellowed before finally noticing the House. He actually didn't notice it before, as you might have imagined. So on to the House+Door=.

"Hey, I wonder who resides in this strange bit of shelter..." Hiro, "NOC NOKK!"

A door opened, and out popped a HouseDweller! What a surprise!

"Now you've done it, moron! So stop yelling or what?" she spoke, with as much authority as she could muster in her current position. "You'll wake my fatass husband! Now!"

"But..."

"No!"

"I said But!"

"All right, but make it quick. I have Check to do!"

"Well, I just wanted to perchance you to notice the position of Hiro and relay the message back to base camp." signalled Hiro. What a bagel-eater.

"YOU FOOL! You're in Glodenrad!" incorrected the Woman correctly.

"See? It is Fred!"

"Stop lying, Hiro!" that Fatass Old Husband yelled from the SleepingChair, before falling into a deep slumber from which he may never awaken.

"Anywho, I'll check you Pokémon! As was stated in an earlier time Period," she once again relayed.

"Hey, what = you talking 'bout, Willemina?" Colemanned Hiro repeatedly, dazed and confused as he was, until the HousePokémonCheckWoman grabbed a bunch of Balls of Poke from his Ball Carrying Thing [I forget if it's a backpack or a belt. It could be both, you never know!] and rubbed them for a few seconds.

"HA! Just as I suspected! All your Pokémon think you're a Retard!" Ousted the Checker again.

"You scare me!" frightened the frightful Hiro before running off and suddenly stumbling upon some Tracks of Rail.

"Haha, walkin' on the tracks!" sang Hiro happily before being hit by a train, which was then Instantly Replayed several times before being reversed until the Driver was set to ~=PauSe=~ and began to yell at HappyHiro.

"Hey kid get off the tracks! You moron!" Gramatically Incorrected the Driver again, but this time it was the first!

"Wait... you're wrong!" Recoiled Hiro, remembering something to NonExist back to the driver again. "I just ran over to the Station to check, and they have official forms sent in in triplicate stating the disability of all trains until such time as it is said to be fit!"

Once again he's bested the best of 'em with his stuph that was not described to you, the Reader, or at all!

"Oh yeah! Bye!" Driver-san called out sheepishly, before herding his train back to the stable.

"This place sucks. I'm going to go check out that building with a neverending strange fence around it." Rebuked Hiro, heading for the strange Route-House that protected Goldenrod from the horrors of OutsideWorld. Suddenly, he noticed a CounterGuy, who was sitting behind a counter! Imagine that!

"Hey guy!" shouted CounterMan.

"Don't call me guy," Hiro quite bluntly stated, as blunt as ever.

"All right then, how about this;" Counter started, "Hi guy! I want you! ...To take this stupid + ugly = Bird to some random guy on route 29, so I can have a good laugh at him! Sound fair?"

"Hell no! That'd be cruel and unusual punishment!" Hiro immediately snapped back.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...For me. You're going to have to give Bird to Man yourself!"

"Well then," once again began to say CounterPerson, "I'll just follow you around until we get there! Once again it is sounding fair! So by the way, my name happens to be Mike, and I believe that you are a guy that has a nice arse!"

"Uh... not that that's not the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me or nothing, but I'm really are freaked out by all the Queer Eyes and Straight Guys, so I'm just gonna MOVE IT OUT, MEN!" Freaked out Straight Eye Hiro.

"Hey, wait for me! I happened, once again, to have an ekans!" Popped out Mike, panting with the effort of keeping up with the Ever-Active Hiro,"It also perchanced to happen that it consumed beer as a result of my feeding it the!"

"Yeahhhh... aanywho..." started Hiro.

"And once again thanks to perchance[BLAH BLAH]and it just so once again also happened[yap yap]Mother of Mike is saying something to the effect of[DrIbBlE dRiBbLe DrIbBlE]the!" rambled Mike, even worse in happening than Pikadéx or plus Hiro combined to the max! "Isn't that cool?[bla]"

"Yeahh... Once again, I really don't care. So I'll just head off to... ee... uh... eekroo... um, THE NEXT CITY!!!" struggled the mispronunciated Hiro sadly. How sad.

"Hey, it's just so happened by another perchance of fate that I've started a journey there as well! So about those happenings of the[blah BLAH bLardy Bllawwzzz...]..." detected Mike.

"It really is going to be an incredibly long RestOfStory," thought the Hiro, or was that a thought?

"Oh, thanks a bunch. Jackass." rebuttled Mike for the next-to-last time.

"Wait, I thought I just thunk!" Questioned Hiro.

"Well, I heard you!"

"But... but the italics are there and everything!" Straw-grasped Hiro.

"You know, sometimes that's just there for emphasis, dumbass." angered Mike.

"I emphasized my whole sentence?" Hiro returned, finally making the comeback they so needed.

"Well... you know what? FORGET YOU!" shouted Mike, before storming off, leaving an icy silence behind, which was broken only by Hiro.

"If you're going to be like that, then I'm glad you heard it! In fact, I'll say it again! LONG RESTOFSTORY BECAUSE OF MIKE! There! I said it!"

All right, I'm just gonna end this, cause it's getting old. Fast. Goodbye for now, folks!

"NO!"

[mr_pikachu]

XD Okay, that had to have been the hardest laughter I've had all year. Even though this story has next to no plot, ridiculous characters, hideous punctuation, grammar, spelling, and the like, it's still FUNNY! You have a real knack for writing in this style, TDM.

n0\/\/ ^^R_p1x/\<|-|\/ ^^|_|S+ ^^0\/3 0|\|. <0|\|+1|\|\/3 \/\/R1+1|\|@ |-|1R0, /\|\||> 1 \/\/1|_|_ |<33p R3/\|>1|\|@!

There! Was that cryptic enough for you, or do I need to learn German?

[Ultra_Poke2000]

Yay! it's been so long and now it is still funnier than ever!!!! and also Mike too!!! anyway, you still have the powers of tordednesz (writing retarded stuff for the amusement of others) and i'm glad you do. another great chapter. I'll cya later then. bye.

[The Decapitated Mole]

wh00t! I'm glad you're both enjoying teh fic! I finished this chapter up last night, and I'm glad. There was something else I wanted to say here, but I no longer remember what it is. Oh well. Enjoy!

Chapter Sixteen

So Hiro and Mike were confronted with a choice. They could either a) continue walking, or b) ignore the decision making process entirely and go on adventuring. Either way, continuation was imminent. So they just kept walking. ... And walking and walking, and walking...

"Yap yap," rabble-roused Mike eagerly, "with a dash of Blaw Blaw and HEEHEEHEE!"

"Uh, Mike?" began Hiro startily. "Is it possible for you to have, like, maybe an off-switch? Or something to that extent, at least. It would probably come in real handy right about now. So whaddaya say, pal? Off?"

"Blaw BLA? GiKKLe yee Dribbley!" responded Mike. A very well-suited answer for such an odd request, don't you agree? Well, I do, at any rate.

"Oh, well isn't that swell?"

"No," replied Pikadéx angrily. Quite rightfully so, as it has not been featured at length for quite some time.

"Hey, HEY! Asking YOU is out of the question!" remarked Hiro, suddenly noticing how nice the weather had been throughout the day and commenting that it was just so nice. "Hasn't this been lovely weather we've been having?"

"Oh yes, quite."

"Rather dreary, I must say."

"A bit dull, yes."

"Now I should rather like to finish my previous thought."

"Oh, by all means, be my guest."

"Oh great! Now I've tuned out Mike's jabber completely and am incapable of comprehending even the slightest bit of his mediocre advice!" whined Hiro sadly to no one in particular, which Mike picked up on right away.

"Who[BlawyAp]talking[goO!]o?" slightly rambled Hiro. ...'s good buddy Mike, that is!

"I just gots'ta find them earplugs! I just gots'ta!!!!!!" stammered Hiro, dropping to his knees with the force of the latest verbal assault in the realm of Mike'sWords.

"Oh no you gotstn't." shot back Pikadéx quite angrily.

"Oh, come on! Will you ever stop being the ever-adversarious adversary? EVER?!?!?"Hiro wondered aloud, before wondering how in the world he had wondered aloud without wondering not aloud first? Or was it? "!" "?" "!"

"Yes! But not until later chapters, so be sure to just STAY TUNED, HEARTY CRUNCH!"

"I don't even know you any more, man. You've changed... ForTheWorse!" sobbed Hiro, who was immensely saddened by the loss of his Once-Great Ever-Adversary Good-Buddy Pikadéx.

"Oh, come on. It's not that bad," cajoled Pikadéx innocently. Hiro, however, continued to pout and look away angrily. "Hmm, you really do feel abandoned, don't you? Well, that shall soon be remedied, won't it? Besides, haven't you just gotten a BrandNew TravelingBuddy?" He continued to be unresponsive. "You want me to stop phrasing things as questions?" Pikadéx questioned concernedly. Hiro nodded, holding back tears. "Yeah. I'll stop talking in questions," it screamed before leaping back into Hiro's Sack.

"Ok, are we done? I really hope we are done here, cause there's been, like, a building here for QuiteAWhile [that doesn't work as well as I had hoped it would. :( ] and I've been hoping that we could go inside of it," rambled Hiro after that surprisingly serious and coherrant last paragraph. "Also... Mike's just kinda been standing there twiddling, and we all know that twiddling is frowned upon here in PokéVille. He could probably use some kind of activity to keep the occupied."

[OldHiroStyle]

Pikadex: I aggreet.

Hrio: Ok thanks pikadcez, your cool.

[/OldHiroStyle]

"So Mike, where do you suppose this building goes, eh?" asked Hiro, with slightly lowered expectations for an answer, I must say. However, it was asked. At least we can tell that much.

"Angnanang... bLee!" responded Mike, in what is probably the most intelligent thing ever spoken in Life, The Universe, And Everything.

"Why do I even bother, huh? Huh? Huh?" bothered Hiro again, for once not heeding his own advice. What a fool.

"I really don't know. You should probably take that one up with the head office. At least, that's what I'd do." <<Mike

"You know, I think I will! Thanks, Mike!" graciassed Hiro thankfully, before indeed heading up to the head office and Taking It Up. The whole thing was taken care of in a matter of minutes, as it was discovered that Hiro was fired. Now, let's resume with Hiro's New Actor, Mr. Menderman! "Wait a minute!" screamed OldHiro, rushing back with a great realization, "MIKE! Did you just say something intelligable?"

"WaUWAY 2tha Cheezze!!1!@#shift+4"

"-_-'" said Hiro, making a face that slightly resembled what he's spoken [for those of you who are NOT fluent in the BasicMethods-of-Communication, what was spoken was something like 'Dash-Underscore-Dash-Apostrophe.' Thanks for listening]. He then left and let Menderman take over for good. Unfortunately, Senor [i dont wanna do teh squigly enay] Méndérman caught the Superflu again and died. So Hiro's Back!

...And now they're walking again. I'll bet that surprised you, huh? Only this time there's a slight complication; THIS TIME THEY WALKED THROUGH A BUILDING + DOOR! And there's also a guard inside of it. Can you believe that this chapter is only half over? I'm already getting sick of typing it. So anywho...

"FREEZE, YO!" wangsta'd the guard, before noticing Mike [with a 'Blaw!' tossed in for flavor] and leaping under a certain amount of Desks that were randomly piled on either side of the interior of the house. "OH DEAR GOD, NO!"

"Gobbledegook!" babbled Mike.

"What the ph..." began TehHiro, before shrugging resignedly and stating quite plainly "Oh well, s'cool. LESGO, MIKE!"

"Aroof!" barked Michael.

They walked around inside the building for a while before smashing through a door on the other side and emerging into PARK PLACE™. Cool, right? WRONG! They glanced around casually for a few hours before noticing a Guy who was not cowering in terror at the sight and sound of Mike, and approached him vigorously.

"Hey bud! How'dya liketa jointha Bug Catching Game, right here in our very own Park Place™?" Asked Him, finally getting their attention and catching some interest.

"Aight, swift. I'm gonna go ahead and guess that the game has either a) just started, b) will be starting soon, or c) eaten pancakes at some time in its life. Select the answer which best fits the response: a) no, b) no, or c) Well, now that you mention it..." tested Hiro.

"A and C." replied the ContestGuy.

"Sorry, failure is yours now."

"Ok. Oh, and by the way, the contest doesn't start until Newsday, but I can lock you up in the Bug Catcher Hotel until it r bgning, and stop Mike from brutally terrorizing the brutals of this brutal world again." locked the guy calmly, shouting Hiro and Mike into one of them nifty little Hotel Rooms.

This time Hiro really did say it. "What the phiznuck?"

"BLAW!!"

Wow, I guess I really wasn’t halfway through it after all. Go figure.

[Ultra_Poke2000]

yes! it's the return of "LESGO!!!" & "AROOF!!!" i love that thing. it was so funny the first time you put it in there i laughed for the rest of the page. this is great. just keep it coming, mole. do you mind if i call you mole? anyway, how do you pronounce "Hiro"? is it the same as "hero" you do you say it like "high-row" or something? cya later, i guess. 'till then i'll just keep rollin'

[The Decapitated Mole]

Lol yeh, I'm not exactly sure where that aroof joke came from, but I did like it. And the way I pronounce Hiro is like "High-row," although some may disagree.

And sure, call me mole if ya like!

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chapter 17 is the longest chapter I've written. It took me 3 hours, and I spent the first 2 hours turning the first line of the original chapter into 2 pages of nonsense. Phoo... I had to add in some nonsense to get back on track! So anywho, I give to you Chapter Seventeen.

Chapter Seventeen

Well, as a continuation of last week's chapter, Hiro and Mike have been trapped in the said Hotel Room for quite some time, as new work has not been submitted since the Great Deafening of 1892. On this date, however, more unusual things were afoot, and as Hiro stepped around them, he felt the urge to shout out a few syllables. And so this is Hiro. He says things.

"LET US OUT YOU PIECE OF ****! THIS ISN'T FUN ANYMORE!"

"It was fun before?" questioned the Pikadéx amiably, trying to pass the time by trying desperately to pass the time.

"Well, no, not really, but you get the point," was all Hiro could muster up.

"What does that even mean? Don't TELL me what I get, or I'll tell you... the saying... of... A LIFETIME!" TP'ed Pikadéx

"Waaait..." Noticed H-ro quietly, for fear of being discovered, "that was an oddly foolish and uninformed thing to say. You're supposed to be the smart one here, and that's it."

Suddenly Tom walked back again. Man, he's uninvited. And unwelcome!

"Have any of you noticed that this story is becoming increasingly dialogue-based and is abandoning the clever narration and description that have gotten it so highly praised and well-liked?" And that was all he wrote, for this was the time that Hiro chose to strike, ripping into his flesh with his gun, savoring the feel of his enemy against the blade... I mean, bullet... And actually, not so much savoring the feel as not noticing it at all, since the feeling of shooting someone is virtually nonexistent in this fast-paced modern world of ours.

"Man, am I glad he's gone!" remarked Hiro, glad to finally be rid of that narration-loving fool. "That ***** was getting annoying!"

"You said it!" said Pikadéx.

"Jibbajabba 2x3four!" yelled Mike.

"What you say?" said Hiro.

"Haha, learn real English!" said Pikadéx.

"No way fatty!" said Hiro.

"Whakekndlenj002!???@#" rambled Mike.

"Cool!" Says Hiro.

"What?" Said Pikadéx.

Suddenly, Tom's corpse arose for one final face-rubbing. "SEE?!? I was right! Too many!"

"Hey, he's right!" SuddenAgreed Pikadéx, moving slowly towards Hiro in a menacing fashion. "Did you see all that speaking back there! We just stood and talked! We didn't even move anything but our faces! Just like I'm... doing... now..." the 'dex's outrage was quickly turned to something that's not entirely unlike fear, but still somewhat far away from it, in a close kind of way.

"I AGREE" Mike managed to struggle out of his mouth, before being sucked back in and overtaken by the words announced previously on in the sentence [marked by quotation marks].

And just like that the tables had turned. Barely minutes ago, Hiro had been on top, experiencing the fun with his newfound dialogue abilities. But now that Tom was in control, anything was fair game, and so, in the blink of an eye, Hiro was left to fend for himself against the onslaught of only semi-verbal attacks.

"BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!" announced Hiro, struggling to grab hold of their attention once more with some attention grabbing slogans, including but not limited to "There's more to come, You're being mislead by a hideous fool you hideous fools," and the ever-popular "Don't listen to Tom, he's just messing with all y'alls head! I'm the real GuyYouShouldBeListeningTo here!"

So to make a long, rambling, and seemingly endless story a sentence longer, Everyone present in the Hotel Room ate Tom's hands off, before stuffing him down a sewage main and subsequently into the furnace.

"Well, I sure am glad that's over!" spoke Hiro.

"Yes, but we'll have to be sure to keep lots of description in our speech from now on!" warned Pikadéx cautiously, making nervouse eye-shifty and making sure all the lines of communication were sound and UnTapped. "Otherwise, he may come back! And who knows what he'll think of to trick Mike and I into attacking you again!"

"Then I shall find this Who!" Hiro nobly stated, making heroic poses, "And the circle shall be complete!"

[[[--~Welcome To Page 33 Of HADVANCE.DOC, AKA Hiro2~--]]]

"Blaw BLawdY blarrrrr..." was what Mike would have said if he hadn't been busy saying it to Hiro. Isn't that cute? Why no, it's not, but that's ok.

"Mike, you cannot be understood any further!" Hiro kindly informed Mike, trying to prevent further catastrophes like this, "Which reminds me... HEY! ANYONE OUTSIDE OF THE ROOM! WHY HAVE YOU LOCKED ME UP WITH THIS CRAZY NUTHOUSE BAND OF RAGTAG MISFITS?!?!?!?!?! HUH? HUH? EH? HUH? WHAT? HUH? EH? YES? NO?"

Well, just as luck would have it [which she would, she's very good at that] there was an old Man listening to every happening from the other side of the door. I know it's a bit of a stretch, but just listen to what he has to say. I think you'll find it interesting.

"I'll tell you, but first it's for a fistful of yen, equal in worth to that of about 5000 of them [them being yen, of course]," oldMan RSVP'ed.

[I've successfully turned the first 4 lines of this chapter into 2 1/2 pages. I'm tired already]

"Well, I guess it's ok, but only under the condition that I pay you" Hiro haggled, and to the oldMan's delight it came out clean. So this Man opened the door of it [The Room] and was quick with his haste to let Hiro out of it [The Room] without in the process letting Mike, Pikadéx, or TomRemains out of it [The Room] as a result of the process which was completed with Hiro's exit from it [The Room].

AnD nOw CoMeS tHe FlAsHbAcK...

[In this flashback, the voice of oldMan will be played by the words that are not in quotations, as it's a flashback in time!]

So once upon a day there was a league of stuff, right? It was originally a League of extraordinary gentlemen, but that folded and it suddenly became a Pokémon filled wonderland[dubbed the Tofu League], filled with Pokémon, wonder, and land everywhere you looked. Unfortunately, the place started to suck after all the wonder and land left, and everything was covered in Pokémon, so Mike took it upon himself to take responsibility for his dream of becoming a Pokémon T-Mildew [which is the Tofu term for trainer-type-guy-who-is-training-pokés], so he took off and departed to the magical Wonderland of Johto [which was where all of Tofu's wonder and land had gone off to, as it turned out]. So he went to meet up with good old Professor Tree--

AnD nOw EnDs ThE fLaShBaCk...

"Hey! I know him!" remarked Hiro remarkably.

"Good. Now be your quiet," was all oldMan wanted, really.

AnD nOw ReTuRnS tHe FlAsHbAcK...

--. He even set up an appointment all official like. Cool, right? Wrong! Ha! See, it's wrong cause once Mike met with Prof T, he was banned from ever getting his license or becoming a trainer. But that was his only because of his crazy mad DarkPower. Otherwise, you were right on the nose.

AnD nOw EnDs ThE fLaShBaCk...

"Oh, really? Dark Power, eh?" mentioned Hiro questionably at this questionable material.

AnD nOw ReTuRnS tHe FlAsHbAcK...

Oh, yes. He had a real neat crazy dark power with the ability to do...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

AnD nOw EnDs ThE fLaShBaCk...

"You know, I've been waiting here for FIVE HOURS now, and I still haven't heard of any such talking bear! So what's really wrong with Pikadéx?" angered Hiro at the ever-stalling oldM.

"But it's not Pikadéx, and--whatever. Just be patient. I'm doing my best of jobs here to make up something extra special for you!

AnD nOw ReTuRnS tHe FlAsHbAcK...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...The Power to... Speak at great length on any subject, which will indirectly cause any average joe's ears to be Bored Off!!!!!

AnD nOw EnDs ThE fLaShBaCk...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"gasped Hi--"wait, I wasn't finished yet. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! You may proceed," gasped Hiro.

AnD nOw ReTuRnS tHe FlAsHbAcK...

Yes, It's true, it's all so sad, yet also all so true. He did a whole bunch of terrorizing and havoc-wreaking all about the globe for somewhere in the net worth of approx. 2 yrs. It's vaguely surprising that you should only hear of this thing now, as it was done for quite so long.

AnD nOw EnDs ThE fLaShBaCk...

"Yeah, well, I was really busy watching important things like the Cartoon Network and Nick at Nite!" Hiro excused himself, with even more pitiful excuses than were necessary. Thanks bunches.

AnD nOw ReTuRnS tHe FlAsHbAcK...

Neat. So anyway, the World happened to be very fortunate, because as luck would have it [and again, she's become quite good at that over the years] some guy invented the NEW! Radio Headphone Hat™, and the sounds that were created in the process of manufacturing such a confection proved to be just what We needed to destroy the Powers of He [We being us, Powers being special abilities, and He being him]. And once the task of PowerDefeation was complete, all that was necessary was the only unnecessary step contained in the process. So after all that, we decided to lock Mike and his powers away forever in the--

AnD nOw EnDs ThE fLaShBaCk...

"Oh! OOOOOHHHHH!!! I've got this one under my hat! It's the Dead Zonealso™, isn't it? Isn't it...?"Hiro shouted, while making menacing fist-shakey during the last sentence to emphasize anger and feeling from within the confines of sentence structure.

AnD nOw ReTuRnS tHe FlAsHbAcK...

Uh, actually it's th--

AnD nOw EnDs ThE fLaShBaCk...

Suddenly Pikadéx, who [as luck had, again] had been listening through the door [what a coincidence] this whole time, poked out his Head to yell, "Jesus Christ, ENOUGH WITH THE GODDAMN FLASHBACK ALREADY! YOU'RE PISSING THE HELL OUT OF ME!!" And that was the end of that.

"Yeahhhh..... So anywho," continued oMan, "We actually put him in--"

"OOH! ME! ME! ME! It's the Dead Zone™, isn't it? ? ? ? ?" Hiro repeated, seemingly forgetting about the previous occasion on which it had been stated.

"NO! It was that stupid annoying Route-House Pass-Through building thing!" Temper-Lost Teh oldMan.

Suddenly, the severity of what the old thing had said to him started to sink in, and Hiro yelled "QUE????? YOU mean that I'M gonna be stuck with a PSYCHO TALKING GUY that talks all the time and won't stop no matter how much WE beg and plead, until HE mouths OUR ears Off???!?!?!!??!?!?!"

"Hang on there, GBH [GoodBuddyHiro]! Hope ain't lost Just yet!!! It's still got it's way!"

"Explain yourself, Flashback Vendor," instructed Hiro, observing the Man with a wary eye.

"Aunt Jemima! Ol' Jemimes still has a NEW! Radio Headphone Hat™ Factory® hidden somewhere to the south!" Tutored FlashBackMan "South is the opposite of the direction in which her home resides, which is North! Let's do it! Find Jemima, and her Factory®, before Mike is Able to Destroy the World as We know It! Again!"

[Ultra_Poke2000]

ah, so we get an explanation of the history of Mike, and now Hiro is off on an epic quest to get the NEW! Radio Headphone Hat™ Factory® and stop mike once and for all!!! (Mr. Burns from Simpsons style): exelent. anyway, the randomy goodness of your writing is still there. exelent, again! anyway, cya later,then.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take a little break from this story now. Not the NEW Hiro, just this one, since in the last chapter Hiro said he's gonna get BackOnTrack, and, well, that's just it. I haven't played this game in more than 3 years, and I'm a bit foggy on what's supposed to happen yet. So far, I've tried to stay true to the game, and I'll continue to. I'm just posting to say that there won't be a new chapter here until I've beaten Johto in Pokémon Gold again. But don't worry, I'm planning to redo chapter 18 for NewHiro sometime soon. So stay tuned to that topic, it's better anyways.

Toodles!

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chapter 18, folks!

DISCLAIMER:

Some people may find this chapter offensive. I do not mean this chapter to be offensive towards homosexuals in any way shape or form. It just kind of took on a kind of "sexist" tone while I was writing it, and.. well.. I apologize if you are seriously offended by this chapter. Thank you.

Chapter Eighteen

"Old Fag, it would be considered most kind of you if I could perhaps get out of your way, or better yet you and mine!" asked Hiro, who was secretly wishing he had just as suddenly not spoken at all.

"WHAT?!?! Have Jemima and her Factory® been founded already???" Exclaimed the Old Fag in sudden delight, as the Factory® had been assumed to be found. "?!"

"Uh, I think that's found, not founded," corrected the correction-lovin' Pikadéx.

"What?"

"Back there, you asked if Jemima and co. had been founded Already," he[/she/it] continued on with his[/her/its] business as per usual.

The OldFag was quite put off by this, but managed to come back with "Well, that's cool and all, but it doesn't really pertain to this story now, does it?"

"What?"

"Well, I mean, I know you love to correct people and all, but your corrections are really just irritating, and I know that you're trying to put a positive spin on them and everything, but it's really just not working out the way you'd hoped." LongSpeech'ed the AncientCigarette.

"Oh, really?"

"Well, yeah, I mean..."

"And just how had I hoped that it would work out, eh?"

"Well, why don't you just tell me?" snorted the actually very incompetant [and poorly spelled incompetency at that!] Old, "You, of all people, should know this sort of thing."

"I'm not going to fall for your tricks, old Man. So you can just forget it. Or SHOVE IT! Either way, it's fine." Haha, I winned the Pikadéx, making the cool 'haha, I win' hand/fist shakey movement with his clawhand [Oh, just so you know, the Pikadéx has clawhooks for hands. Thought you might like to know that. Sorry for the inconvenience].

"What?"

"Don't try and fool me more. You suck. I'm the smart/correction/semitrickster/sarcastic thing in this traveling Comedy Troupe, and if you want to dispute that, we can just take it outside, Grandpa Cancer," The Pikad almost finished. And here it comes... "I've got hooks for hands. I'll ****ing end you. HaHA! I feel like Robin Williams" Whee! He makes menacing gesture.

"Yeah, well, in any case, where's my money?" Greeded the Elderly.

Suddenly, Hiro realized that the old Guy had been talking to him earlier, and promptly forgot everything that had happened on the last page while at the same time making a response, which just happened to correspond to what was originally directed at him, but had through some strange twist of fate been switched to Pikadéx at the last second. So here it is... Hiro's Response! "What?! Find some old Lady? But... but she'd be OLD! I mean, the syrup alone is Old, but Jemima, she's got to be, like, OLDER! And anyways, factories are so outdated now that we can just shoot missiles at the Cuban Missile Crisis, which is pretty Ironic considering the Irony contained in that previous statement, which, by curious circumstance, contains no Irony whatsoever. Just think about that for a second. Your face will cave in and your brain will die."

"Just die? Come on, H, you can do better than that, I know you can. I mean, just BrainDeath? It's so... anticlimactic. I mean, the face cave in makes you think it's going to be something cool, like with special effects and all. But now you've just screwed me over again. Way to go. *****."

"Wait..." paused Hiro for a second, "was that the old guy talking, or Pikadéx? I mean, you can just assume that it was the old Guy, because, well, he was the one I was talking to. But at the same time..." he paused again, his eyes moving from around the room from person to person before finally coming to rest on the Pikadéx, who was busy scratching some mechanical itch with his ClawHook, but wasn't doing anything but scratching the paint, "it was done in Pikadéx's classic irritatingly neurotic style. So who could it be? I've gone over it all in my head, and none of it still makes any sense!"

"Wow, Hiro, that was an incredibly sensical thing for you to say. And quite informed, too. I'm afraid that I... well, I have nothing to criticize there. I shall go," spake a saddened Pikadéx, moving for the door.

"Eh? What did who?" Questioned Hiro, questionably once again, "It is?!? Now now, it's not brown, but a cow!"

"Sweet!" exclaimed the Pika, striking up a heroic pose with as much heroism as he[/she/it] could muster, with he[/she/it] being only 2 feet tall with scratched paint and hooks for hands, that is, "I'm back, baby! My first correction is..."

And that's where Mike finally came in, popping out some the1 PikadéxBatteries and silencing it for at least a few chapters. Well, more like just the rest of this one, but that's not important right now. Well, actually, it is, but that's also not important right now.

So as Hiro was saying... "So as Hiro was saying, I've come up with an incredibly and excellently better Idea again. So dig in!" he shouted, as it were, and proceeded to pull off with his Idea, which was also involving the Pulling Off of Something. Only in the Idea's case, it was the pulling off of the Old Guy's Hair. And this guy had a lot of hair. And when I say a lot of hair, I mean a lot of hair. And so does he. Except when he says a lot of hair, what he really means is a LoT of Hair. So that being said, Hiro just got in there and pulled it off. I know, it sounds implausible, but it's actually not! Ha! The reasoning behind this incredible marketing decision was that this man's Lot-O-Hair was actually a really hairy Wig-Type-Thing.

That paragraph was getting kinda long, so here you have it, the last half of Hiro's Idea. Whaddaya think so far? Not bad, eh? Well, anyway, after the WigRemoval, Hiro, in his final MikeSilencing Effort, inserted every inch of Hair into Mike's Head. And by head, I mean face. And by face, I mean mouth.

"HEY, MIKE! SAY SOMETHING!!"

Suddenly, Mike decided to join the convo. So here. "b[mUffLe]kspdL[hAIR]ya[MuuFFle]!!?!??!??!,,.,.:;:;??!??!"

"Ha! I win! Take that, Corporate America!" exclaimed it. The Hiro.

"Yeah, well, that's cool and nice and Happy and all..." said the Man, "but Mr. Narration, you really need to stop sticking youself in the middle of our dialogue. It's pissing me off."

Sorry. Wait, why am I sorry? I can just kill you off here and now. Well, maybe not here and now, cause nothing in this story happens here and now anymore. But soon enough. So stop rambling already.

"And also, where's my money? I need amazing purchasing ability for some Wigs and a Wig Shop and my new Wig Café, and some hats and bifocals."

"Suddenly Hiro says OH YEAH! The money, it was left in MyRoom, which was actually not my Room. Remember, I was the guy who was locked in it by You. And then you let me out, in the guise of UndercoverFagOfOld."

"And that's another thing! Stop calling me a fag! I'm not gay or a cigarette!"

*In Hiro's Head*

"Ciggy Ciggy Smoke Burn Smoulder!" Smoked Smokey the Smoking Cig.

...or, for you crazy sexist/homophobes...

*In Hiro's Head*

"Gay Gay Homo Homo Poopsex" gayyed the Homo.

"So anyway, you foolish old Fag, it's in me room!" wrote Hiro, leading this mysterious Man back into Room 19. "Follow me, Mysterious Man, as I lead you to certain peril inside Room 19!!"

"Okies" ILikeThatWord'ed Oldm.

Well, as you can undoubtedly assume by now, Hiro was not only a cheat but a Lier as well. So call him a Lier if you must, but he stands for what he belevies in. And what he belevied in was locking OldF inside 19 for all eternity inside just Like Mike. You know, that really crappy movie that everyone should hate, Like Mike? Magic Shoes, as if. What next, an imaginary world filled with strange and imaginary mystery creatures? Well, yes, and Hiro belevied in that one, too. So he shouted out "Sucker!" while making DoorSlammey on poor Old Fag. So he proceeded to run outside, where through the process of some more proceedings he saw a bunch of bugs. But these weren't just any old bugs, for as we all know...

"SET IT AND FORGET IT!!" shouted the crowd. Suddenly, Ron Popeil had to come and get them, so Hiro and I were screwed out of a live studio audience. Damn that Ronco. I guess I'll just have to take care of this one myself. So once again, what we all knew was that there are no rea--

"SET IT AND FORGET IT!!"

For as we all know,

"SET IT AND FORGET IT!!"

There are no real

"SET IT AND--" at that moment, however, Ronco unfortunately and mysteriously closed when Ron Himself was killed in a freak Mike accident, and the day was saved. So just remember, there are no real animals in the world of Pokémon. And this is why... uh...

"I saw cool Pokémon bugs, not just ordinary bugs!" shouted Hiro helpfully. "What? I wasn't trying to help. I wasn't even paying attention. I just saw some really cool Pokémon bugs that were definitely not your average, run-of-the-mill bugs. And they made me think--"

Seeing those bugs made Hiro think [wow!], and once he had thought long and hard enough, he remembered something involving BUGS and CATCHING.

"Oh, yeah, I gotta catch some bugs with my new BugCatchingGame! I hope I'm not a guy who is Late!" he shouted happily, and then somewhat concernedly, before forgetting all of it, grabbing a Bug Catching Sticker and Seventy-Five Park Balls and setting out into the Park. While on his way to the exit on the other side of the park [he had forgotten what the BugCatching game was while he was counting out his 75 Park B's] Hiro found an incredibly strong Scyther. He tried to eat it, but it wouldn't give, so he took it on in hand to hand combat.

He died again.

That being said, all his Pokémon came out and died, too, except for his Suicune, which tried to run away and accidentally stepped on one of the precisely counted 75 Park Balls that had spilled everywhere when Hiro had fallen victim and was caught. Then a kid came along, picked up one of the Balls, and threw it at the Scyther, catching it and winning a victory for Hiro. I say Hiro because the ball had belonged to Hiro, so it had flown back to him instead of the little kid, who ran back screaming to its parent. The ball, meanwhile, hit Hiro on the head, waking him up, and causing him to spend the next 3 days trying to cram all of his Pokémon into his Pokédex [which was actually an empty Chocolate Box, if you remember correctly], until he just threw them at the pile of Balls and finally won. And that's when the contest ended, and he finally made it to the other little house thing on the other side of the park. Have fun there! [Uh, by the way, Hiro had just "caught" a level 2 Scyther. Thanks for your concern, jackass]

Inside the house, 10 or 15 trainers were crowded around a small wooden desk, behind which stood a small sweaty man holding several prizes behind his back. Then the man spoke.

"All right, listen up!" he rasped, his voice like sandpaper agains Hiro's ears, "The winner of the BCC is... GayTrainer Nick!!! GTN, you win a cool Solar Stone! Everyone else wins a NUT! HA!" Sweaty shouted, hurling Nuts at everyone who had failed, and dropping a Solar Stone on GTN, knocking him unconcious. Seeing this, Hiro realized his opening, and struck. Well, he didn't really realize the opening, and I can't be too sure, but I don't think he saw it either. But anyway, he took the stone with a cry of

"I WANT THE GLOWIN' ROCK OF GLOWING SUPERIORITY!!!!"

and ran out of the little hut as fast as his atrophied little legs could carry him, until he almost died again.

"Man I'm fat. I wish I had a skateboard. That'd be cool. But whatever, I can manage." said Hiro, disappointed and sad and such.

"AHEM!" cleared Mike, ripping the hair out of his throat in an effort to better... further Hiro's career.

"Oh, right. I do have a skateboard! COOL! Thanks bunches, Mike ol' Pal!" H. Shouted, jumping on his skateboard and rolling right into a tree!

"Ooh, that's GOTTA hurt!" <Mike or Pikadéx? YOU be the judge.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chpater : 42

Well, Hiro seems to be on His Track again, but it's not working, is it? Let's check in and see.
Hiro: WHERE'S THE GYM LEADER WHEN YOU NEED HER!
Mike: ?
Hiro: No, WHERE IS HSE!
Pikadéx: She's gone now.
Hiro: What?
Pikadéx: She's gone now.
Hiro: I know. What?
Pikadéx: You know now, but she's still gone b]now[/b]
Hiro: Oh. Ok. What!>?!?!
Mike: KkndknaikKNijd9oencv9e cvkoz
Hiro: Mike's right.
Pikadéx: *smaking Hiro*. How do you know?
Hiro: Well he did just say some stuffs.
Pikadéx*continuesing to smack Hiro*:. You can't understand him.
Hiro: Why not?
Pikadéx: you jundst can't, okay?
Suddenly they realized that they were still stuck inside the lighthouse.
So they walked around for a bit.
Hiro: Why are we here?
Mike: Youadoujjkn awnatenssd k tosnsdbobe hereereeewwwsss4t54
Pikadéx: is speaking Wait, didn't we see the guynm leader a couiple minutes ago?
Hiro: Oh yeah, that's right. She's at the gym

PREPARE FOR GYM BATTLE.



That chapter was a piece of shit. Forgive me.

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

OMG liek teh new chapter. This one sucks almost as much as the last one but I'm satisfied anyway. Hahaha.

Chapter 43

So they went off to see teh gym leader.

Hiro: Wait, why are we going here again?
Pikadéx: Ask Hiro.
Hiro: Ask Pikadéx.
Mike: ...
Hiro: Oh right. Badge.
So they got to the gym and waht do they sees?
Hiro: Blade!
Blade: Hi.
Hiro: Hi.
Mike: *scowl and gibber*
Pikadéx: Meh.
Blade: So Hiro, what's all this I hear about thing?
Hiro: Oh [i]thiat[/o]. Thing.
Pikadéx: Hey, blade, since when did you become one of the idiots?
Blade: Why is your 'e' accebted? That means you're a pikadayx.
Pikadex: Fair enough.
STAY TUNED MORE THINGS IS HAPPEN.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chapter 44

So Blade actually had to leave. It really kinda sucks, but really, come no, it'snot that bad. They're att he gym now BTW.

Hior: GYM LEADER!
Jasmine is the leader, remember this now.
Jasmine: Hi, I'm not here, help me i n the a lighthoues becasue of my good friend the Pogeyman its sick help it pl--
Hiro: What's a Pogeryman?
Pikadex: Hey, where's my accent go?
Hiro: Pikadéx, analyzie THIS NOW!
Pikadéx: Pogeymanz are Pokémon except gayer and more homophobic.
Hiro, so: do we want o help it?
Mike: ka;fkdfmaeiolfsjeaioe9no
Pikadéx: No, cause theyre not good .
Hiro: Why?
And so they stood and discussed Pogeymanz long into the night, until they went back to the lighthouse to help it and first to kill more pplxz and steal more shizzl ma nixz
Hiro: It's nighttime, and thee's only one was to go anywhere at night. SNEAKING SUSPICIOUSLY!
Pikadéx: That don't make sense.
Hiro: Well, if the cops see us acting suspiciously, they'll assume that they werere already trailing us and just stopped fora breathre.
Pikadéx: Won't work.
Mike: sfaIdaf asfasfasfsgsafrrrrgreergthe6
Hiro: See, Mike knows.
Mike: SFAYSFEODEINFSAFSUSFA8WK SAFJD3RFDSUFWFFMSFW34B3GA4QWFSE4GSD7K
Hiro: Yay! Hey Mike! We win! Let's go rub his faxe in it!
Mike: *scowl and gibbeer*
So they followed Hiro's plan and *surprist!* it didn't work, but then thngs happenedd causing all the cops to go chase Fred.
NEXT CHAPTER HAV TEH LIGHTHOUS

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chapter 45

So thanks to Fred everyone's free now, so let's check in, k?

Hiro: *going in to lighthouse* Come on, we gots to be quiet!
Pikadéx: Why? It's not nighttime anymore>
Hiro: SHUTTUP ASSh! you'll wake up the whole neighborhood!
Pikadéx: They're already awake fol!
Hiro: See what you've done?
Mike: *funny wao wao trumpet sounds* *+ some gibber*
Hiro: Now hurry, before it's too late to turn back!
So one by one they went into the lighthouse and began to clinb some stair.s
Suddently just then a bunch of Sailor come up toHiro and be all fat and stuff [again]
Hiro: Let's fight, FO REAL!
NEXT CHAPTER HAVE THE FIRST ACTUAL HIRO FIGHT!

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chapter 46

Sailor: Let's fight.
Hiro: K.
They fight for a bit.
Hiro: Damn! I won!
Sailor: Boo hoo *cries for a time of severl minytes*
Hiro: Oh, shut up.
Sailor: *cries for several more minutes
Hiro: Fine, you wanna cry, cry. I don't care.
Sailor: *continues crying*
Hiro: *glancing newrvous* Good. Cry. I'm fine with that. Totally.
Sailor: *Much crying ensues*
Hiro: *sniffle* Yeah. That's right. I'm bet... bet... bettt.... *starts crying* AAAA
They cry for a bit.
Hiro: Sorry bout the beatage.
Sailor: *sniff*
Hiro: As a consolation, you can have my Pikadéx.
Sailor: Cool! Neaties+Thankx! *grabs pikadéx and runs off to stick it up horse vaginas*

**In Hiro's Head**

Sailor: No, I can't possibly take that from you, you two are too close to separate.
Hiro: Really, I insist. I can always get another one.
Sailor: No, really, you keep it.
Hiro: Well, if you won't take Pikadéx, at least keep Mike.
Sailor: Well, if you insist... *takes Mike and goes to be a better boss/buddy than Hiro ever was.
Sailor, Mike, and Pikadéx: Bless you, Hiro, nicest man of them all.

**bak to reality*

Pikadéx: GODDAM YOU!!!
Hiro: You know what, Pikadéx? I'm glad I still have you. Now let's go get that gym leader.
Mike: *scowl and gibber*

-----

BTW [2 tha mods] Thanks a bunch for changing the poll [/sarcasm]

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chapter 47

Well, after surrendering Pikadéx to the SailorGuy, and basically doing nothing else, Hiro and Mike are still in the Lighthouse, K?

Hiro: I really am glad I still have you, Pikadéx.
Mike: I hate you.
Hiro: Shame about Mike, though. ...I guess.
Mike: I really, truly hate you. Without any doubt whatsoever.
*at this time it should be noted that because Hiro does not realize that Mike is Mike, his mental block is gone and he can understand his speech again.*
*they're still walking, btw. Climbing lots of pointless stairs, actually.*
Hiro: Although he had been conspicuously silent for the last couple chapters...
Mike: I didn't think you had the mental capacity to deal with anything I had to say.
Hiro: *chuckling* You know, Pikadéx, you're starting to sound funny. I think you've finally realized the wonders of being... not... right.
Suddenly they were surrounded by sailors for no reason.
Sailors: HEY LOOK ITS HRIO AND MIKE! LET'S FIGHT 'EM!
Hiro: ?? *confusion* I think you're wrong. Mike is gone to have a new buddy. This is Pikadéx
Mike: *sigh/Forehead SLAP!*
Sailors: We'll still fight you!
Hiro: Shouldn't you all be sailing? You are sailors, after all.
Sailors: *uncomfortable shifty/glancing* RUN!!!!!!
The sailors run, leaving our heroes to face... THE LAST FLIGHT OF STAIRS.

[DarkEntei]

This had me laughing throughout the whole thing. I love the spoofs on the game and how you just make people say OKAYBYE$$. It's sorta random and everything feels like a blur, but I appreciate it for what it is: silliness.