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  1. #1
    Banned
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    Default Tangled Web

    Another great chapter! Your description of how Celsius builds up his ember attack, and how he figures out a way to make it work for him is awesome. Nick's backstory filled in some of the blanks. I had to laugh at Sen's encounter with Zara - I know people who talk like that, and take themselves seriously! It was cool seeing Nick beat her Dragonair so thoroughly!

    It'll be interesting to see what Charlotte does, and how the green-haired stranger affects things.

    You are a wonderful writer. Keep it up!

  2. #2

    Default Tangled Web

    That chapter was awesome. Nick is great; I loved the Pokémon-POV's and also the whole thing about all Pokémon being psychic. The last part was interesting too - if the Pokémon League find out that Sen's blood is there as well... good luck Sen.
    The Quest for the Legends

    Chapter seventy-seven, THE END, up!

    Also check out the spin-off, Scyther's Story, as well as its sequel, The Fall of a Leader.

    Morphic
    Winner of six 2008 Silver Pencils, including Best Fiction Overall and Best Plot
    Now concluded with chapter fourteen!

  3. #3
    i ♥ f a n f i c f o r u m Master Trainer
    Master Trainer
    PancaKe's Avatar
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    Feb 2001
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    south west sydney <3
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    Default Tangled Web

    Hey. I read this chapter last night, but my net decided to stuff up and I didn't get to reply. So before I forget, I'll reply now. Lol. Otherwise in a months time, I'l reply and go "oh my gosh i cant believe I didn't reply!"

    This chapter really didn't have any faults. I thought Zara was a bit of a cow, but I loved the way she dressed and her fashion sense. It reminds me of what I like to wear normally. I love the big flares, and most of my shirts are usually black with colors on them.

    Curious to know what the green haired stranger has to do with anything. At first I was gonna say "its charlotte with a wig!" but she was off to her interview with that guy, wasn't she? Lol, I'm glad I've started to think before I talk.



    ♥ Funeral for a Friend . Opeth . Faith No More . Dream Theater ♥
    Unown ! Award (2008) for Amazing Comback!
    Unown S Award (2009) for Smile
    2009 Silver Pencils:
    Best Poem (All I Can Say About You) | Best Plot Twist (Full Moon) | Best Contributor | Queen of Fanfic | TPM Addict



    Quote Originally Posted by shazza View Post
    Mt. Moon gives me that similar feeling I used to get when I would wake up first thing in the morning as an 11/12 year old and get excited about browsing TPM.

  4. #4
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    Default Tangled Web

    Wow. This is one v special way to be a trainer

    Forever on the run... the corpse thing and those ppl after richard sooters will play an important role in the story later on, so may I suggest you bring it into the story a little more, eg mentioning those people hunting Sen etc.

    Sen's pokemon's skills are rather unbalanced, a plus point nowadays; I especially like the torchic's inability to master ember, cute!

    The murkow however is slightly too powerful for Sen's team, at the moment... from what I see so far he is more powerful than the rest of Sen's pokemon put together.

    Carry on writing!!

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