Sakamoto Dai
12/9
Shinagawa Double Suicide
(Lead-in)
"Oh, isn't he precious!"
"Now, mother, stop gushing, we've had four days of it already and I have certainly had enough."
"But he's such a stiff. As a corpse. And inside - all fluffy."
"The hag has a point, mother."
"Ah, sisters, you're so callous."
"We'll soon be seeing enough - far too much, even - of the boy."
"He isn't even good with the ladies."
"Much less ladylike men."
"Like now."
"Exactly."
"Exactly."
"This should be entertaining."
*
The main thing that Dai noticed about Akio's house, no, mansion, was the size and scope of the kitchen. This fact was none too discreetly hammered into his brain by his sister's exclamations of wonder and delight. She flitted about the cavernous kitchen, accompanied by sparkles and a houseproud Taguri-chan, examining the fittings, the cabinets, the custom-made sinks and an actual, real, working hearth. It was when they started talking about different sizes of moustache spoons and their uses that he made a surreptitious escape to Akio's room.
Where they were playing dress-up. Hotaru, making his famous moue, was pretending to be a geisha with what looked like Akio's silk dressing-gown, a scarf, several clothes-pins and a decorative folding fan.
Dai, stone-faced, reached for the doorknob to make yet another escape (this time blatant), but was stalled by Akio (with his hair in a towel, turban-fashion, perhaps trying to emulate Sindbad the sailor) catching hold of him and chivvying him to the dressing room. Like everything else in the mansion, it was vast, large, gargantuan, and any other word that comes to mind that vaguely recalls the adjective 'big'; Dai was directed to the sleepwear section.
There was indeed a set of pajamas patterned with bears and marshmallows. The rest weren't much better. They ranged from ducks to smiley-faced onigiri to tooth-achingly cute rainbows.
Wordlessly, he stalked away from his flailing friends down the seemingly endless rows of clothing until he found something that looked relatively normal: a nondescript yukata that Akio wore when he went to his family's private onsen. To Dai's biased and unfeeling eye, the unassuming folds of cotton were an oasis in a sea of unremitting, embarrassingly patterned dunes.
When he emerged from the dressing room, they were on the bed having a pillow fight. Two people who'd just sort of checked themselves out of hospital that same afternoon were now engaged in some kind of childish brawl - and now that he came to think of it, Akio hadn't so much as a scratch on him. Also he could smell the secret the two were keeping between them a mile away, even if he didn't know exactly what it was, yet.
He ignored their entreaties to join in and settled down by the door, perfectly determined to hold good his promise of standing guard.
Did they think they would worry him with whatever they were holding back? What a laugh, I've been having these albatrosses round my neck for as long as I can remember, I'm immu-
A pillow hit him in the face.
With commendable composure, he threw it back to the duo on the bed.
Four pillows later, the inevitable happened.
I know, I know, it's short, but I swear I can't even think of Dai getting stripped by the merry duo without convulsing (in a good way). GO GO WEASEL POWER~