The MisAdventures of Hiro!

[Leon-IH]

Just read all of this, and I can't stop laughing - this rules!

[Ultra_Poke2000]

i think it was Pikadex who said it. and what's Hiro gunna do with that stone? btw, lol!

[The Decapitated Mole]

Waaaait... *looks around* this can't be right! Somebody actually replying to this? And liking it?!?!?!? No. Something must be wrong here. I think there's some kind of kit lying around here for this...


[/me being stupid]

Aaaanywho... Thank You for this, it really lifted my spirits. I'm really glad you like this, I've been trying pretty hard to keep up the funny. And I'm also glad you appreciate this for its silliness; when you start reading this with regular criticism and normalcy in mind, I don't think you really get the full effect. So thank you for that, as well. And... that's really all I have to say on the matter. And I also give you a new chapter yippee!

Chapter 48

They rounded the corner and...
Mike: STAIRS!
They rounded the stairs and...
Hiro: CLIMBED!
They climbed the stairs and...
Hiro: You know what, Pikadéx? We make a pretty good team.
Mike: HOLY CRAP! IT'S A POGEYMAN!
Hiro: WHERE!?! *turns head*
Mike shoots Hiro in the head, killing him instantly.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Leon: Woah, I'm getting readers omg liek wath next teh apolocyppsze>? ...And also I gurgle with pleasure at your unstoppable giggling.

Ultra-Poké: Take a Guess. Go ahead, Guess. I daaaaare ya. Yea. Take your best shot. I bet you don't have the balls. Yeah, that's right, I said it. You heard it here first. Booya! [btw I was kidding keep liking hiro kthxbye].

...And unfortunately I have no new chapter, I just don't have the time at the moment. Once the school Soccer Season ends [in roughly 2 weeks] I should be able to get one up. So expect one... before the start of December okay that's good yo!! But, since there hasn't been an update in a while, I'll give you a little Hiro Short Film* to tide you over.
*Hiro Short Film is neither Hiro, nor a Short Film


Chapter : HRIO!!!

Hiro: OMG liek teh cool.

Pikadex: You suck:

Mike: Bla

They have hijinks.


END


o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

But wait, there's more!

Chapter 49

Me: Nope. Won't work.
Mike: WHAT?!?
Me: Hiro dying. Won't work. Too serious. And sad. They took it out of Clerks, I'm taking it out of THE MISADVENTURES OF HIRO.
Mike: Waaait... weren't you fired?
Me: Yes. But now I'm hired. Deal with it, bitch.
Mike: I'm gonna shoot you. *aims gun*
Me: Now I remember why I stopped letting you talk. You're a real douchebag. You just lost your speaking privelages.
Mike: a;dkmi-- NOOafsfOOOOOasdfOOOOOvrgaeOOOOO!!!!1!!?@/2!
Me: And Hiro, you've just lost your death privelages.
Hiro: Sweet! MIKE! BLADE! LESGO!!!!
Me: You may now do as you wish.
*Mike and Blade gather*
Both: AROOF!
Blade: *thinking* how the hell does he do that!?!
Well, while all these goings-on were going on, the Pogeyman ate the gym leader, so Hiro gutted it and took the badge.
NEXT CHAPTER R STUFFS!

[The Decapitated Mole]

Yes, here it is, the last chapter of The MAH. And yes, this time I'm for real. Fifty chapters and I'm completely done because I'm just that lazy and tired. The reasons behind this cataclysmic decision are long winded and confusing, and I'd tell you them if I could remember them. But as I can't, just read this last chapter, and be glad I put so much effort into it. I may make some kind of a new sequel sometime in the future, but don't expect it anytime soon. Just keep watching for new chapters of the new Hiro, and be happy you got this instead of me being annoying and angsty again. Here.

!

Chapter 50

Suddenly Fred appeared. Out of Nowhere.

Mike: KkADNMOKRNAoknfasiorje9j
Hiro: FRED! It's time to finish this pointless things forever!
Fred: Alright, let's see what you got. GENGAR, GO!!!!
Hiro: GO TOG!!
Tog: MOM!! You finally like me! Let's bond!
Hiro: HeyHEY! *furious pointing gesture* Fighghtyy
Tog: Damn you, Hiro. You've forced me to use drastic measures.
Hiro: Ahhh... *more furious pointing* Fightyyyyy
Tog: *exasperation* FIIINE!
Fred: Yes.
Blade: Uh, Hiro, you might want to pay attention to Fr--
Hiro: And you. Stop talking.
Blade: *stare*
Hiro: *stare*
Blade:*stare*
Hiro:*stare*
B:*stare*
H:*stare*
B:*s*
H:*s*
Fred: *glare*
Mike: *scowl and gibber*
Hiro: Tog, USE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE!!
Tog, sensing his opportunity to strike, did as he was ordered.
[meaning he sat there. Get it? It's funny]
Fred: Damnit! He got us this time! Gengar, return!
Fred returned his very confused [and still somewhat surprised] Gengar and sent out his next Mon.
Fred: Meganium, Go2!
Hiro: HOLY CRAP! Tog, dodge it!
Tog reacted quickly and just barely missed being hit by the sight of Fred's Meganium, leaving both open and vulnerable for an attack.
Fred: Meganium, use ATTACK!
Hiro, sensing that Tog would not be able to stand this hideous offense aftetr already enduring so much, returned him and sent out...
Hiro: PICHU, GO!!!
Blade: Uh, Hiro, you kicked your Pichu into the ocean almost twenty chapters ago, don't you remember?
Hiro: DAMN HIM! That's two of my Pokémom he's taken out! I'll need to pull out all the stoops here... GO CYNDAQUIL!!
Fred: Hmm... type advantage, eh? Alrighty, mEGANIUM, fight it!
Meganium have glance at Fred becuase of strangety.
Hiro: Don't worry cyndaquil, you can take it! Fight back!!
The two Pokés just kinda stared at each other until cyndaquil poked Meganium in the eye and was declared winner.
Hiro: YES, I WIN! And you know what that means...
Fred: Yeh yeh, I'm on it..
Fred then emptied out all his money into Hiro's money holder and proceeded to explode in a firey ball of Liquid Paper.
Suddenly the cops pulled up in a tricked out old Jumpster McBus.
Cops: Which one of you is Fred!
Hiro: Not me, that's for sure.
Cops: Let's search you and be sure!
During the search they discovered Fred's ID's, Bank Cards, and worldly possesions that Hiro had confescated and re-confiscated them for confascation purposes.
Cops: Alright, Fred, you're going away for a long time.
Hiro: DAMN YOU FRED!!

Later, at the courthouse...

Judge Weakest Link Lady: I call the prosecution to the stand!
Prosecution [AKA Officer Joy]: The prosecution calls Hiro to the stand!
Hiro: The Defense Rests.
Bailiff: HeyHEY! Swear first.*he holds out a Bible*
Hiro: Fuck. The defense rests.
Lawyer [AKA me]: No, we don't. The defense calls Mike [AKA Pikadéx] to the stand!
Mike: Wehgastheevyewrt itth wsalst, Is'fmg smutreem hyef deibdy iutq.
Lawyer: The defense calls Pikadéx [AKA Mike] to the stand!
Pikadéx: It was that man!
Judge WLL: Let the record show that it is pointing at Mr. Hiro.
Lawyer: The defense calls Blade to the stand!
Blade: *sobbing*...he treated us like dogs! It was awful!
Lawyer: The defense calls Professor H. Tree to the stand!
P. Tree: Hiro is a loser. Kill him.
Lawyer: The defense calls PingPong to the stand!
Pingpong: He's a racist, a homophobe, and completely insane! Arrest this man!
Cops: Uh, we did.
Pingpong: Then my work here is done! *flies away on a fat guy*

Several Hours Later...

Lawyer: The defense calls... This random little kid!
Kid: He killed my snubble and pushed me!
Lawyer: The defense calls... Goddamnit Hiro, isn't there anyone you haven't horribly wronged here?
Hiro: Obviously not. Why do you think you're my lawyer.
Lawyer: You've got a point there. The defesne rests.
Judge: Closing statements?
OJ: Hiro loses.
Me: Uh, likewise. *leaves*
Judge WLL: Ok, Hiro's the weakestlink, etc, you're in jail for a time, neat.


THE END

eh.

[mr_pikachu]

So it's actually over, huh? That was a fast ending, to say the least. Kinda reminiscent of the last Seinfeld, too. One of the few episodes I watched. Not much to comment on here, except that it was very, very abrupt. Though I suppose I can't criticize that since this is meant to be an insane spoof anyway...

*plays taps for the original Hiro*

[The Decapitated Mole]

Heh, you know, I didn't notice the Seinfeld-like-ness of this until you pointed it out, but yes, the two are strikingly similar. I guess I started out wanting Hiro to go to jail, and the best way to end the story would be to bring back a bunch of characters, so courthouse it is. I also wanted to write another battle between Hiro and Fred [because they've all turned out so well in the past]. And as for the abruptness of the ending, I don't think I did that on purpose, but maybe I did. It's better that way, anyway, more Hiro-ish.

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

New chapter. I'd say something amusing, but my dad has succeeded in completely eliminating the good mode I got from writing this chapter. Here.

Chapter Nineteen

Well, considering that Hiro had just hit his head on something rather head-hurting[namely that big ol' tree], he was considerably in a considerable AMT of head pain. But enough about me, let's hear what the man himself has to say about this.

"Ow, my head hurts," said Hiro, quite blandly and without feeling any emotion. What a loser. He's getting fired. Or maybe replaced. Although I think we tried that once... "OW! IT HURTS AGAIN, YOU MORON!"

"mKDIAkafMkJIOAJknasodifma93mfkaodkgod?" asked Mike somewhat reasonably. I wonder what Hiro will have to say about that, just so to be happening.

"What?"

"mKDIAkafMkJIOAJknasodifma9...3mfkaodkgOd..?" Mike slowly repeated, what with his slow, repeating manner and all. He's really got to knock that stuff off. It's irritating.

"I know what, but I mean exactly what?"

"mKDIAkAFMkJIOAJKNASODIFMA...9...3...M...FKAOD...Kgo. d?" Once again, Mike has shown us all what an amazing person-talkie he is, what with his talking and being a person and all. He's really got to knock that stuff off. It's irritating.

"Ok, I'm only gonna ask this once more. WHAT?!" He's stupid, ain't he? It's plain and clear to any damn fool that the message Mike's trying to get across is

"MKDIAKAFMKJIOAJKNASODIFMA93MFKAODKGOD!?!?!?!?!?!?! ?!?!" Expelled Mike vigorously, what with his vigorous expulsion record. He's really got to knock that stuff off. It's irrita-

"SHUT UP!" Hiro, or one of them other guys. Actually, it's probably one of them guys, cause Hiro's got a line of dialogue coming up right about now that would really clash with this one. But then again, I don't want to bring out Pikadéx too soon either, so what shall I do? I'll just leave it for Hiro, I guess. "Oh, and by the way, A friggin pinecone fell on my head! WTF!? Pinecones in ****ing winter! Can you believe this?!?

Suddenly, the Pikadéx popped it's head up. "Uh, it's a Pineco. Not a pinecone. Pine-co. Just thought you'd like to know."

"Uh... Helloo?" prep-chick'd Hiro occasionally, "Please, Pikadéx, do tell, exactly how can that be a 'pineco,' as you so elegantly put it, when it clearly resembles a Pinecone? Eh? Huh? Eh? Huh? Que?"

"...And that's why the incredibly clever American translators renamed it Pineco. Get it? It's a play on words. ...Sorta. Well, not really at all, but it still resembles the word Pinecone, which it also resembles. Coincidence? I think not."

"Dude, this is so not a Pokémon," stated Hiro quite incorrectly, for what he was actually looking at was a rather large pinecone. Oh, wait, sorry that's Pineco. My bad. Won't happen again.

"Uh, 'dude,' I'm a goddamn Pokédex, I think I can tell the difference between a Pokémon and a bloody pinecone."

"Well obviously you can't. Damn stupid Pikachu."

"Once again, Hiro, that's a Pikachu Pokédex, but close," corrected Pikadéx, what with him bein' all corrective and such. He needs to stop, etc.

Hiro whirled around in anger, brandishing an empty fish ladle at him, "Dammit, shut up! I'm sick of you! ENOUGH CORRECTING!!!" he shouted, swinging blindly in his enraged state.

"And again, I think the word you're looking for is corrections..." sighed Pikadéx in exasperation, having had his fill of the one known as Hiro for this day. And, being aware of the fact that he had had his fill of TOKAH for today, he let loose an exasperated sigh.

Hiro, meanwhile, was having his own troubles. He had gone to great lengths to try to befriend this strange Pokémon[for this is what he believed his Pikadéx to be thusfar], and now it had just turned its back on him and become a Pokédex. A ****in Pokédex! Can you believe that? No, I thought not. So here he was going through this extreme inner turmoil, trying to figure out whether or not to eat this so-called 'Pikadéx' or not. In the end, he settled for shoving it inside his Lapras' shell. Unfortunately, he had no idea which Pokéball his Lapras was contained in, so he ended up impaling it through his Wooper. Well, no, he didn't. That's what he would have done, but he couldn't figure out which Pokéball contained his Wooper, so he settled for putting it inside his Lapras' shell. The only catch was that he still couldn't get the hang of those damn Pokéballs, so he ended up just setting the Pokéball very carefully atop the Pikadéx and then throwing them both at a nearby Rock. He then proceeded to leave.

"Remember the Alamo..."

"What the hell is the Alamo?!" questioned Hiro, trying to make some sense of what his brain had just fed him. Suddenly, he remembered something which, ironically enough, was not the Alamo. He did, however, run up to the Pineco and kick it, before running away so as not to be caught. Then, when he discovered that it was safe, he ran back, shoved it in his backpack and ran away again, before slowing to a walk several steps later on account of Rigor Mortis.

"Uhm... I think you've forgotten something rather important" The Pikadéx said in a super muffled voice from within the confines of his Rock/shell-like prison before starting to crawl out, causing Hiro to grab a nearby Rack and throwing it at him[after, of course, removing all products from the Rack, thus making it that much safer for play]. Hiro then sat and thought for seventeen days and nineteen nights to try and figure out what he couldn've forgotten, but to no avail. Then, on the twentieth eve of his sixteenth day, he had a revelation.

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY BREAKFAST!?!?!?!" he shouted, beating Mike and Pikadéx savagely over the head with his Pineco that doesn't have a Pokéball, "I need to break my fast!! I'm ****ing HUNGRY!!!!!"

"No, not that you retarded imp!" Pikadéx shouted at Hiro through all the muffle, and his newly accquired Static [thanks to Hiro's beatings and Rack-occurances, causing Hiro to sit and think for quite another length of time before being hit in the head with a rock [that was thrown at him by a kid], and shouting

"Oh yeah, that's right! I caught a friggin Pineco! Go me!"

"Dear god you're dense! That's my damn Pineco!" bellowed the Rock-thrower.

"Is that so?" asked Hiro inquisitively, him being the inquisitive type and all. He really needs to knock that off. It's irritating.

"Why yes it is, my good man."

"Alrighty then."

"You're damn right it is. By the way, my name's Alan, and I go to school, thus making me a Schoolboy, so you may as well call me SchoolBoy Alan!" exclaimed SchoolBoy Alan.

Hiro was confused. "SchoolBoy Alan? B-but I only know one Alan, and my hectic shcedule doesn't allow time for two! Looks like I'm gonna have to call you Alan PicksHisNoseAndEatsItWithAGumpOnYourLargeHeadAndLo tsOfHairAndIsProbablyHomosexual. That's what his last name was. And boy howdy, did he ever live up to it!"

"I dunno, did he?" questioned Alan.

"Why yes, yes he did."

"Heeey, wait a minute! Don't you dare talk about my brother that way!" shouted SBA, jumping out of his thin suit to reveal that he was actually a hideous Fat chick, "I'm not really Alan!"

"Uh, I think we'd kinda gathered that when you jumped out of your Thin Suit, dumbass," stated Pikadéx, making a broad generalization of the group in general.

"Speak for yourself, asswipe!"reamed Hiro, "I was totally perplexed."

"As well you should have been! For I am not really Alan!"

"Yes, we've been through this part before."

"I know, I was just--"

"I know what you were doing. Just don't do it."

"Fine. I'M HIS SISTER, ASHLEY!!!"

"Waaait a minute! You mean to tell me that you're not Alan!"

"That's right," Ashley sighed, "I'm his sister, ASHLEY!"

"Oh sweet jesus, Ashley?! So I take it you're Ashley FatAssWhiningIrritatingHugeAsACowAndTheStupidest** **ingBitchEverKnownOnThisPlanetOfMenAndMice, his adopted sister?

"You know what, that's really hurtful, even if that is my name."she whimpered, before leaping about an inch into the air and trying to land on Hiro, "You've earned yourself death by being sat on!!! PREPARE TO DIE!!!"

"NO!"

"YES"

"NO! SAVE ME, MIKE!!!!!!" Hiro shouted, walking away at as leisurely a pace as he could maintain in such a paniked state.

Mike leapt into action to save his newfound best friend, grabbing the Rack and preparing to strike while letting out a humongous battle cry of "NOEIJGASIHGKLASAIJFJKHGJZSIGHJRASGNJSDMIGLSDJFVKS DJKGLKDGAEJ IGJTSTI0E-TIK[WGMGK5Y5YI3568305ITKM53VMTRU834693863OTMWPWTJAELPT GRIY-EUTGOR9TUE-9TU43T-03T I93U63UI 6-TEB!!!!!!~&%&*^$^&%*#$CYTC^%E^%#^"

Ashley, however, shrugged off the massive verbal assault with a cry of "Ha! I'm far too whiney and obnoxious to be disturbed by any amateur noise like that!" before she was hit with Mike and the Rack and was sent toppling over onto Hiro. Thanks, M.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"gasp"OOOOOOOOO--"

KKCKRUNCH!!!

[The Decapitated Mole]

Well, I'm really, really bored, and I just feel like making the re-writing of these chapters even more of a hassle for myself, so I'm doin it again, folks... ANOTHER KOOKY CHARACTER CONTEST!!!

This is my third now. The first two spawned such memorable characters as Mike [my only respons] and Blade [my other only response]. Just give me a basic description of your character [for the cartoon, you see] and their personality [which will simply be reduced to a quirk or two in the story] and you won't see them for a couple chapters until Hiro's sidekick-less again! Then I will painstakingly insert them into the story just like those crafty Lucasfilm bastards did with star wars! So... get crackin!

Oh, and as for the progress on chapter 20... I haven't made any. Sorry.

o_0
jimm

[Leon-IH]

^^ man, i nearly fell out of my chair.. armless chairs.

[The Decapitated Mole]

Oh, and by the way, in case nobody wants to look in the writer's lounge::: EPISODE ONE OF THE MISADVENTURES OF HIRO IS COMPLETE.

www.freakyface.cjb.net/episode1.swf

lemme know what you think here or in TWL. And I'm still working on chapter 20, but I want to get season one of the cartoon [first 25 episodes] written first. I have up to 9 so far. Anyone who wants to review scripts for me can talk to me, too.

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

Well, I finished this little chappy up yesterday [finally] so... here. And since nobody felt like entering the contest, it's gonna stay there forever, taunting you.

This chapter's nothin special, IMO, as I was basically hacking my way through the writer's block for most of it, but I did write chapter 21 yesterday, as well, and it's much better, so expect that sometime soon.

Chapter Twenty

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hello?! Hey!" can you tell it’s Hiro yet? I mean seriously, who else talks like that? Pikadex!? I should think not.

"I heard you the first time, goddamnit! What is it?!"

"Thanks," Hiro replied angrily.

"You’re welcome," replied the guy. You know the type. Well, it’s really less like a type and more like just that one guy Hiro’s talking to. But still…

"You didn’t let me finish," Hiro continued, "Thanks… for throwing that stick under Ashley’s ginormous ass!"

"Well. You’re still welcome," that Guy answered stealthily, cunningly, and just a bit sexily. The two boys stared at each other for a minute, and even though one of them wasn’t a boy and was in his late teens, they both had the same kind of mutual understanding that only the closest of friends can have with each other.

"Weellllllll?" Slice’n’Diced Hiro angrily, slip-slidin all over the place, " What the hell is your name?!"

"Oh. See, I was just gonna… go. This isn’t gonna be a regular thing or anything. I’s just kinda… bored," said the Guy brightly, then darkly, then brightly again, then really regular, before he turned and started to walk away.

"????????????" shouted Hiro expectantly.

"Oh, fine, the name’s Blade!" the guy said, whirling around all animé-like, "I’m a great Trainer, who’s unhealthily dedicated to the capture of Entei, Suicune, and Raikou!"

"That’s spectacular!"

"Why?" questioned the Bladester.

"Well, you’re just the kind of man I’m looking for to get this company off its feet!"

"You mean on its feet," re-corrected the Pikadéx, crawling out of the [[[place]]].

"What? Re? You never corrected me on that a first time! How can you re-correct something if it was never corrected in the first place! Go home!" Uh… I think that’s gonna have to be Blade. I mean, Hiro’s the stupid one, Mike can’t talk, and Pikadéx wouldn’t correct itself. But then again… the Pikadéx, by its very nature, is all into that correction stuff, so who knows? So yeah, let’s just make is Pikadéx.

"What? Re? I never corrected you on that a first time! How can I re-correct something if it was never corrected in the first place!?" said Pikadéx angrily, before realizing that it had just corrected itself and returning to its previous monotone to briefly state "Disregard previous statement. I can speak no wrong."

"And anyway," continued[?!] Blade, "I don’t really think that your… self… counts as a company."

"Shut up, both of you! Blade’s in, Mike’s out, and that’s the finale!" bellowed Hiro, before kicking Mike at the dog catchers union, who gladly scooped him up and tossed him back into his Route-House. "Now Let’s MOVE IT OUT! (…go…)"

"Hey, wait just a gosh-darned minute here!" argued Blade, excercising his rights to the last, "I never said I was going anywhere!"

"Oh yes you did!"

"No. No I didn’t."

"Oh. Well, in that case, YOU’RE COMING WITH ME!" screamed Hiro dramatically, making lightning and earthquakes, the whole shebang. He really went all-out for this one. Gotta give props to dat. …For… dat… whatever the standard props-giving procedures are, follow them, for they will never abandon you.

"And what makes you so sure?" questioned Blade inquisitively.

"Because if you don’t," responded Hiro despondantly. …Respons…ive…ly. Some sort of ‘spons‘ly, "I’ll beat you savagely over the head with my PINECO THAT DOESN’T HAVE A POKéBALL!!!"

"OOH! Where?! I wanna catch it and raise it as my own to spite you!" shouted Blade gleefully.

"No. That’s--no. j-no. Jus, just no! That’s its name, you FOOL! It’s NAME!!!" Hiro said, exasperation on his lips. "exasperation…"

"Uh… cool?"

"Yes. Yes it is. Now LESGO!!!" he screamed!

"AROOF!" blade responded obediently.

And so they walked. And walked and walked… Well, actually, after about minute Hiro spotted a tiny little albino in an indian costume sprinting through the trees and decided to chase after it with a cry of "HEY! IT’S A LITTLE INDIAN MAN/WOMAN LESGO BLADE TIME TO GET HIM/HER!!!"

Haroof2.bld

So they chased it. And as they chased it, it ran. Oh, how it ran! I kinda wish I’d been there to see it, but them’s the breaks. So they chased it up to and including the point where all the indians lived in a secret tribal hut that was separated the Bug Catcher’s game only by a row of four-foot high banzai tree, but for some reason no one could see it, or even knew it was there.

"OOGA BOOGA!!" shouted the tribal leader in standard Tribal Leader fashion.

"Hey, wait a minute," noted Blade observantly, "you’re not indians at all! You’re just a bunch of American celebrities for some reason."

"Shut it uppy!" whispered Kevin James, who was apparently the leader, angrily.

"ATTENTION ALL!" grouched Hiro, standing on a soapbox and raising his arms up to appease the Great Gobstopper in the sky, "I AM HIRO! WHAT IS YOUR TRIBE?"

"INDIAN TRIBE, INDIAN TRIBE!!!" chanted the assorted celebs in unison.

"Well in that case, LESGO!!" shouted Hiro, making one of those ‘lets go’ motions with his arm. You know, the ones that are all ‘let’s go!’. That.

"AROOF!!" bellowed the whole tribe and Blade, before getting up out of that big ol’ hut and following Hiro out into that place called thee.

""How does he do that?!" thought Blade angrily to himself, vowing to one day both strip Hiro of his Suicune and find the secret to his Aroofing. SO UNTIL NEXT TIME…

"SET IT AND FORGET IT!!!"

o_0
jimm

[The Decapitated Mole]

Chaptchah Chewnchy One...ch...

Chapter Twenty-One

If you recall from our last adventure, Hiro and his brand new Pal Blade had just met up with an indian Tribe made up of Kevin James, Fran Drescher, Robin Williams, Bill Cosby, Steven Colbert, Robert DeNiro, and a host of other American Celebrities, the likes of which the world has never before seen!! …and they’re walkin around.

"Boy, all this walking sure is fun!" said Hiro happily, walkin along down that good ol’ country road.

"Hiro, I think it’s time somebody told you the truth. You," said Blade with a heavy heart, "You… You were adopted!"

"WHAT?!?" exclaimed Hiro, shocked at this earth-shattering ground-breaking rock-smashing poster-toting news right here.

"Meh, I dunno. I was just guessing."

"Oh, well in that case…"

"Hay guyz im here!!" shouted Pikadéx gleefully, jumping up on Hiro’s head, "Whaddid I miss?"

"Pikadéx, I think it’s time somebody told you the truth," said Hiro with a heavy heart, "I’m adopted."

"Woah, didn’t see that one coming!" said Pikadéx, jumping to conclusions oh so fast in that conclusion-jumping way he has. He’s actually become quite good at it, too. It’s been said that he can clear nine conclusions in a single NineJumps! But back to Hiro…

"No no no!" sadded Hiro insanely. What? "I called you here, my good ‘dex, because you’re supposed to make me feel better!"

"But Hiro, you know that’s not my style! All I’m supposed to do is neurotically correct every single thing that happens and make everyone feel insecure and inferior, along with a bunch of other in-words."

"Fine, fine. I’m getting tired of this gag, anyway. ON WITH THE CHAPTER!!!"

So onward they walked, this ragtag bunch of misfit hooligans, until they came to a strange moving tree. And by moving, I of course mean wiggling. And wiggling, well that’s just no good.

"Hey! You! Stupid Ass Wiggly Tree! Move Your Stupid Ass! Nobody likes you! Nobody! Not one person likes you!" shouted Hiro, looking the tree right in the… bark… and shouting "Hey! You! Stupid Ass Wiggly Tree! Move Your Stupid Ass! Nobody likes you! Nobody! Not one person likes you!"

"All these people frighten me," mumbled Blade, glancing back at the Celebians, who were sitting in a big circle taking turns quoting from movies or TV Shows they’d been in, "I swear, one of these days they’re gonna get me arrested. …And then sent to Mars. …On a gigantic space shuttle. …With every person Hiro’s ever met on it… Where was I again?" Suddenly Hiro called out to him, and he was forced to respond with "NO HIRO, I CAN’T KILL TREES!"

"But you’ve got that awesome sword! Is it just completely useless, or what?!" Hiro shouted back dilligently.

"Yes! It’s a papiér Maché prop that was welded to my spine in a tragic accident similar to the creation of Dr. Octopus, beloved supervillain and ex-teacher of Peter Parker!" Blade responded again.

"Well then, I have no choice," Hiro stated dramatically, with shadows and crazy camera angles and the whole nine yards. Why the hell do people say nine yards, anyway? Nine’s not that much, especially in American football context, considering that there are 100 yards in a AF field [not counting the end zones, of course], "TRIBE!!!"

"COME ON A YE HA!!!!!!" shouted Jack black, bravely vocalising the thoughts of the entire cast and crew.

"LESGO!!!"

"AROOF!!!" shouted the tribe, stampeding right on over the wiggling tree, and continuing on until they reached one of them places that you’re not allowed to go or else it’ll get all glitchy. You know the ones, over behind those tiny ass trees? I think I’ve actually made mention of them before. Chapter eleven, I think it was? Well, anyway, you get the idea. Basically you’ll never see them again.

"Boy howdy, I sure am catching a lot of Pokémon!" shouted Hiro, scooping up the almost dead, comatose, paralytic Sudowoodo in a Pokéball and walking away, "HEY BLADE! PIKADéX! YOU GUYS COMIN OR WHATNOT?!"

"Uh…"they glanced at each other nervously before turning and starting to walk away. Only in the Pikadéx’s case, it wasn’t really walking so much as trying to roll but falling over because its wheels were pretty InBadShape from the beatings it has ensued[?!?].

"Now come on guys. You don’t want me to have to…"

"Hey man, you know what?! Bring it! Gimme your best shot!" rebutted Blade tattlishly.

"LESGO!" screamed Hiro at the top of his lungs, as Blade jumped to his side obediently with a cry of "AROOF!" and the Pikadéx slowly dragged itself over with its coathanger-hook-hands. "That’s what I thought. Now then, we’ve got a lot of ground to cover before we get to StrangeName mcCityPants, so let’s get a move on!"

So they walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and wklead and welkad and walked and walked and walked for a little while until they got to Ecruteak City!!!yay!

"Hey Hiro, I’ve got an idea," piped up Blade antsily, "Let’s go over to that BurnedThing tower and check out some awesome stuff! I hear they’ve got bees!"

"I love beez!!!!!!" shouted Hiro, and they were on their way at last. And then they were there, because nothing noteworthy happened while they were headed there. It just didn’t, so don’t question it. So they walked in the Tower and FRED WAS RIGHT THERE WTF!!!

"Hiro, you’re a GAY RETARD!!!"

"No I’m not!"

"Well, you sure as hell aren’t a straight one!"

"What? That made no sense!" squeaked Blade.

"And who’s this, your gay lover?!"

"No way man, Blade’s too cool to be gay!"

"Oh he is, is he?! Then explain these photos I, uh… actually, these would hurt me more than him, so let’s just call it a draw, huh?"

"I think you’ve told me plenty already," said Hiro smugly.

"No, no I haven’t," started Fred, "No, no I didn’t start, you ass! I believe we’ve talked to you before about interrupting our dialog, so you really gotta scram!!" he continued, somewhat agitated, before finishing, "I really didn’t tell you a thing."

"Oh, well then. That’s cool."

"Yes. So." Fred returned.

"Yeah…"

"You’re a gay retard!!" shouted Fred again, laughing hysterically at his own hysterics before being taken down a peg by the mighty verbal assault about to be performed in 321 now

"Fred, do you want me to kill you? Aaaagain?" Hiro did, saying one of those fist swingies for the duration.

"What? I’m not… no! I’m not dead!" Fred remarked. "Not yet, a-- Oh bloody hell! I am dead! I gotta go resurrect myself!! You’re a retaaaaaaard!" his ghost shouted, floating away towards an island that was erupting from a volcano, even though it didn’t actually have one.

[A Grilled Fish]

THEY'RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, HA-HAAA!

An island erupting from a volcano? Oo

[The Decapitated Mole]

I’m sorry, but four years of this is too much. It’s over. I’m done. I’ve moved on, I can do better than this. I apologize to any of you who were fans of this story, I hate doing this, but I just can’t do this anymore. I’m moving on. I may decide to continue the animations, the first ten of which I have written, but aside from that, this is the end for Hiro. It’s been fun, but I’ve matured and improved so much throughout the course of this [as can be evidenced by the multiple style changes throughout this story] and I’ve realized that I’m just not funny enough to do it anymore, at least not in the sense that I was when I started. I hope you enjoy this last bit of the story, because this is all there will be.

o_0
jimm

Chapter Twenty-Two

So after their heroics in the LastChapter called The One Wherein They Fight the Evil Fred ©®"!. So as we begin our chapter, Hiro and Blade are continuing along through the Burned Tower after Fighting the Evil Fred©®"! and all of a sudden they were come upon by a Fire Breathing FIREBREATHER!!

"Ugh. There are so many ways that sentence can be misinterpreted," stated Blade grimacing, "Well, there's really only one way, and in any case I don't really think it's at all appropriate for a Pokémon story."

"Oh you and your crazy happenins!" hooted Hiro, laughing his bowels off up in the great blue yonder, "No wonder those things happened!"

"What things?"

"Yeah, this guy here,"Hiro stated drunkenly, grabbing Blade around the shoulders, "He knows the type!"

"Type?!" shouted the Pikadéx, jumping up from over there, "You were talking about things! And that's not even what you were talking about in the first place!!"

"Let's hurry this up, Pikadéx, I've got places to go, people to meet, things to see, places to meet, people to see, things to go, places to see, people to go, things to meet, and so on and so forth, so can we please get to the POINT!?!"brazened Hiro enunciatingly.

"My point, my good Hiro, is that you need to sort out your fiscal situation and get your state of affairs under control before you're buried in paperwork once and for all!"

"DONE!" bellowed the Hizro, slamming a fistfull of bills [$, that is] on the table and walking out of the room in a smoky haze.

Meanwhile, the Firebreather, who had been standing on the sidelines all this time, finally piped up, "Hey, am I gonna get to do anything or what?"

"Shut it up, McGulliny, you'll get your chance!" intrused Hiro frightfully, tossing that McG off to the wherever he camed form yo.

"B-but my name's Wilso--"

"YOU'RE MCGULLINY!!!"

"Fine. Now check this out!" shouted the McGulliny, jumping up and sprouting a large and quite unsightly Fire out of his… face. Seeing this brought back memories for Hiro. All of a sudden he flashed back to the good ol' days, back in Easton MA when he would spend hours just lookin' around, walkin' around. And then he came back to the present and realized how cool firebreathing was.

"Hey! HEY! I WANNA BREATHE FIRE!!!" he shouted anxiously, nudging FB McG so hard that his ribs collapsed and he was angry because he was ribless.

"Well well well. It seems a though you've fallen into my trap!" exclaimed the Firebreather gleefully, pointing his finger accusingly in Hiro's direction.

"Uh, actually, no he hasn't." spoke the Pdéx, waving a coupla hooks at the fub.

"Yeah, I don't even think you layed a trap, let alone caused Hiro to fall into it." Blade added, trying to help out as much as possible.

"Ok, ya got me."

"So… can I breathe fire or not?" questioned daH?

"Well, lemme deal this with ya--We'll battle for it!" Wheel-dealt the wild firebrand, "If I win, I can breathe fire, but if you lose, I can breathe fire."

"Excellent, I can't lose!"

"Now Hiro, as your financial manager I must advise you against such an offe--"

"Oh get out of here, you!"

"Fine, I will. Just remember-- bad deals, bad meals!" advised You, walking off in that shady businesslike way he's got. And that briefcase. That smarmy fucking briefcase. I can't take it. He sickens me. And most everyone else, too, which is probably why Hiro's banished him to [place]. And as long as we're on the subject, this keyboard really sucks.

*new computer = new keyboard yay begin new keyboard now!*

"So then. Let's get this partay startayed," continued McGulliny abrasively.

"Haharr! Now it's time… FOR THE UNOWN NUMBER TWENTY-ONE GO!!!" SHOUTED HIRO, TOSSING OUT A POKéBALL FROM WHICH POPPED A UNOWN SHAPED LIKE THE LETTER U, "O MAN WATS UP WIT DAT J0 I WANTD 1 DEM C-SHAPPED 1Z DAWG," HE CONTINUED DEJECTEDLY.

"Yeah… I'ma use a Magby," folklored the fireman, regurgitating his Magby which promptly jumped up and poked Hiro's Unown in its ever-lovin' eye What a shame, I was just starting to warm up to the little rascal. Well no, I wasn't at all, but you get the idea. Or at least you should, it's a real simple thing. Okheregoes::: Hiro's talkin' all crazy-like now.

Actually, forget that, as just then Micky Gull's shouted out "Holy shizam, I can breathe fire! Yippee! Yay! Weeeeedelyhoodney!!!"

"Oh dear God, I'm whiting out!!!!!" gasped Hiro angstily, collapsing in a heap as ol' McGulliny fumbled with the lid of a white out container before pouring it into every nook and cranny of Hiro's being and running away as fast as his little legs could carry him.

"HIRO!"

"Yeah?"

"Well… don't you wanna know who said that first?"

"Oh don't be silly, Pikadéx, I know it's you!"

"You'd better belie—No, no, wait just a gosh-darned minute here! It-It's me, Fred! Back from beyond the… life."

"Uh, cool? Can I go now?" AskedHiro™.

"No! Since I'm back to life and I'm gonna KILL YOU!!!" shouted Fred, jumping at Hiro with a bunch of Pokéballs glued together in the shape of a sword in his hand.

"Uh, that sentence is both grammatically incorrect and blatantly homophobic. I demand a regime change!" Shouted… Pikadéx, I guess.

"Yeah, about that… NEXT CHAPTER, HIRO; YOU'RE MINE!!!"

Giro: Hey! My name's different! Who's the bozo in charge of this!
Me: It's just a typo you moron.




[center]Chapter Twenty-Three

"Hey Hiro!"

"You already said that, you ASS!"

"Did I really?"

"Yes, yes I do believe you did."

"Well I am terribly sorry about that. You know how my memory just comes and goes these days."

"Oh yes, it is quite all right, I was simply pointing out that you’d said before is all."

Just then, somebody came along and punched Hiro in the face, yelling "Get back to normal, you fucking weirdo!" after which he stood, staring straight ahead for a few seconds, before snapping right on out of it.

"I say, Hiro old boy," puttered along Fred, clueless as ever, "that was rather rude now, wasn’t it?"

Hiro just stared at him for a few moments before punching him in the face and whispering "Get back to normal, you fucking weirdo," in his ear.

"Hiro, you son of a bitch, you’re gonna get it now, hoo boy yes," bellowed Fred, his voice echoing throughout the cavernous innards of the tower. Suddenly he seemed to remember something and looked at the bit of floor beneath his feet, only to discover that it wasn’t floor at all but some sort of annoying black square, and he fell, screaming, onto the floor below.

"What a fucking idiot. Oh well, ‘sall good, dawg. Now I can take all his things!" said Hiro slyly, that sly dog, starting forward.

"Um, who are you talking to?" interrupted the Pikadéx, its love for semantics and gramular correctivity overriding just about any other function in its primitive artificial intelligence.

Hiro halted suddenly, apparently lost for words, astonished that anyone would dare interrupt his battle. He seemed to be lost in thought for a few seconds before replying, "Shut up, you stupid moth."

"Oh, come on, man. Why you gotta be like that?" wailed the Pikadéx expositorally.

[A Grilled Fish]

The last installment of The MisAdventures of Hiro is controversially explicit while softly descriptive; the quintessential birds transcend water's reality by misinterpreting the false maturity of flammability.

>_>

<_<

O_o

[mr_pikachu]

I'm sorry to hear that you're discontinuing this, Jimm, but I can understand your reasons. I hope you continue to write, though.

This fic's been great while it lasted. I hope you'll post more of them here in the future.