Adair Stroud
Honestly. Anyone who anticipated a moderately self-respecting pirate to protect royals was off their pony. Or Chocobo. Or rocking thing that grannies sit in contemplating punishment for a poor unsuspecting sneak-thief who only wanted to see granny got some rest from the maddening tattle parrot. With all sincerity the duck tape around Billy-Bob's beak was for grannies rest, not his escape to mommy's entertaining occupation station. Really, he adored her pecan pie.
It's a pirate's ambition to steal from them or evade their lawful ways.
Royals by the way. Grannies were people to be feared and never stolen from.
He shuddered to remember the broom. And her slow shuffle to its closet while he trembled. Knowing there was no escape, he was doomed. She was provoked and was inhumanly fast when he dared raise her ire.
Focus! People are trying to kill you.
Well currently not people per say but one inconveniently placed flan who aggravatingly happening to be in his path of descent after tripping over the idiotic placement of a Spiran gun. Really now who dropped weapons? First thing an army recruit learned was never to drop ones weapon so long as it had uses.
Not that he would... er... know.
Never mind that Sori was taking an abominably long time to get here. Best save his own skin, the Moogle wasn't likely to consider his monumental self worth all due haste.
He had one foot free and he squirmed until it was on the ground. The flan didn't much care about Adair, he'd be dead from suffocation soon enough. Or it at least thought he would be. It was in fact dealing with a stupendous Blitzball champion. He'd be fine for a good while longer.
He grunted and with a truly herculean effort he raised himself upright on one foot. He had a brief period of observing the world through blue glob-dual slime before it slid down his frame and he could breathe the sweet nectar of oxygen and gun-smoke. Then of course he realized his one leg now had flan attached to it and if he put the other down it would be in the same predicament.
“Fellow crew-people!” He hailed his mildly surprised rescuers. “A hand to remove this serious over-achiever in the inconvenience of leg fungus before I find myself the very wrong side of incapacitated!”
Sori apparently had appeared. Perhaps he enjoyed seeing Adair extend great effort for his life. Alas who can understand a Moogle? The only other one he knew insisted on flinging things at anyones' head when the bag he resided was opened. Still, they... well they were down right scary when they smiled and you were positively certain they would about to inflict something very disagreeable upon you. Child's worst nightmare he thought.
Sori smiled a truly evil smile. “No problem.”
Adair blanched.
Then screamed.
It was almost embarrassing. But truly, who would have the willpower to not scream at a astounding pitch when being electrocuted by a obscenely cute though ridiculously vindictive bat winged bunny?
Adair had many nightmares and Sori was rapidly becoming a fixture in them. Cackling away on grannies knee as she rocked that chair. Twirling his magic rod... Granny sowing and smiling oh so sweetly... both just imagining the pains to inflict upon him.
Granny had many weapons... oh yes she did.
Anyway he collapsed and the flan went up in a series of pyre-flies and he groaned, not willing to move. Possibly ever again. Or at least until the battle was over. Playing dead never hurt; other then being stepped on.
“Adair! Get up!”
“Darlin' you paid me to due your duty on the Unknown Continent to find some obsidian rust bucket that by your evidence is rather shard-like. I don't and won't so your bidding now. Sirius is your lap dog to play with for treats of the indescribable kind in present ear drum vicinity.”
He felt a gun click alarmingly close to his head.
“I am ORDERING you to get up and fight.” Adair cracked open an eyelid. Selene was glaring at him, pretty righteously furious. “And,” she crouched and practically hissed at him, “Suggest anything of that sort again and more then your ass will burn.”
He sat up and gave the best ironical bow he could from his present position. “My liege.”
She still looked like she wanted to shoot him but as he staggered to his feet (limbs twitching and Sori smirking) she let him be. Looking at him just a micro-bit confused he didn't try for a 'I'm Spiran you can't tell me to do squat' tactic.
Moving on, people were shooting at him. All of them really. They had been since when he first got trapped. He was just ignored, as a suffocating idiot is more fun to watch then maim flailing leg. Now that he was back in the fight they would try with all do effort to kill him. As they had the others while he squirmed.
By the time he turned to the fight the Guados had been dealt with but some Spirans were running at him, guns drawn (but reloading) and a might too close to deal with properly. He swung his sword up over his shoulder, grunting with the effort. He frowned as it grievously had failed to come free of the sheath.
“No matter. Batter up!”
He swung the shoulder strap off and continued his arch to slam the encased sword into the three Spiran heads. Their eyes rolled back up into their heads and they collapsed. He danced behind some cover (a decorative alcove in the ally he had been ordered to guard) and released his sword from the sheath and put the case back on.
He frowned in genuine disappointment as he contemplated his unconscious brethren.“My countrymen are idiots... and if any Ivalician responds to that comment I do not guarantee your freedom from revenge at an unspecified future time when this is over. Sirius can tell you I am decidedly innovative in my revenges.”
Sirius shuddered. Adair smirked.
Really that was all anyone needed to know.
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