[GAME] Twisted Wishes v.8 (LV Approved)

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but Sega also has adjusted a peculiar time lock system inside the game and once Michael Jackson is dead, you'll no longer hear the music in the end.

I wish Nokia learned a lesson and quit making cell phones so that they can return to rubber-boots industry and fill the world with nice rubber-boots. Nice rubber-boots.

[Fett One]

Granted but the boots come in horrible colors that no one likes.

I wish sugar is good for people.

[Blademaster]

Granted. It already is.

I wish I had a neverending calendar that was always set to the correct month.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. You end up getting such a calendar in a language so foreign, the pictures included with the calendar make you think it was made by martians (guess where I got the idea? Hint hint...look at what's immediately below your username)

I wish that it was impossible for any living creatures (humans included) to have a bad attitude.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. As you get better and better at Pokemon TCG, some of the later players think that you are cheating, and they decide to quit playing with you, realizing more and more that you cheated to get "better" at Pokemon TCG. Hate to tell you, but being accused of cheating at a card game can get you a one-way trip DOWN...don't believe me? Why don't you watch the 1000 Ways to Die clip called "Texas Fold 'Em"...you'll see the ultimate price a person can pay for cheating at a card game.

I wish the next person knew how to untwist this already twisted wish.

[Blademaster]

Granted. Nothing happens.

I wish I had a bottomless bottle of clean drinking water.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. Instead of earthquakes, they are replaced by fissures, that begin to swallow up everything in their path, and these ones have much higher accuracy than the measly 30% accuracy of the move in the Pokemon games...in other words, these fissures are guaranteed to cause mass destruction to everything they swallow up.

I wish it was impossible for people to get cavities in their teeth throughout their lifetime, no matter how much sugar or other acidic foods they consumed.

[Blademaster]

Granted. The water level, however, remains unchanged.

I wish I could play a musical instrument, preferably reasonably well.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. You begin to learn the piano, but after a bit of practice of playing it, you decide to play this. As a result of hitting the wrong note, you wind up like Daffy...but much worse, as the resulting explosion blows you up into millions of pieces.

I wish I didn't need to post a YouTube link to grant a tricky sounding wish.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. As a result of granting wishes too fast, you begin to gradually shrink with each wish you grant, until you are shrunken down so small, that you can only be seen by a microscope. Unfortunately for you, this microscope has the power of a magnifying glass when it comes to having the sun pass through it...before you know it, you end up getting fried, just like an ant getting the same fate if you hold a magnifying glass in the sun against it.

I wish the next person's wish was made in a way that when twisted by another person here, would make its way into the funny papers.

[Blademaster]

Granted. It becomes an obsession for you that eventually consumes your life.

I wish I had the fastest reflexes in the world.

[Knight of Time]

Granted, but the company that makes the movie decides against releasing the movie into theaters or even on any format that would allow you to watch it on your TV, thus ruining your chances of ever getting to see it.

I wish Blademaster would get to meet his cousin Madeblaster someday.

[Fett One]

Granted but the meeting goes so badly that Blademaster becomes a recluse and no one ever hears from him again.

I wish shows that have seasons end in cliffhangers don't get canceled before the cliffhanger is resolved.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but all the cliffhangers get only one solution from this forward. An explosion. Gets repetitive. Cartoon cliffhanger -> an explosion. Detective story cliffhanger -> an explosion. Soap opera cliffhanger -> an explosion. Cliffhanger cliffhanger -> an explosion.

I wish I found a perfect way to use shadowing in my drawing style.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. As your drawings begin to get shadows in them, making you think they are looking better, a mysterious white flash hits you, and by the time it does, you resume your work. But as a result, your pencil(s) begin(s) to white out your drawings mysteriously, and pretty soon, your drawings end up ruined.

I wish there was at least one newcomer to this game posting here every week.

[Blademaster]

Granted. They answer all the wishes before you can, which makes you eventually ragequit this game.

I wish I got smarter with every day that passed.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. But as a result, the amount of weight you gain from everything you eat and drink is multipled by 10, and before long, it forces you into exercising much harder in order to keep from gaining too much.

I wish Nintendo might consider making the 5th generation of Pokemon the last.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. They do it better than humans and replace us.

I wish http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EO0p_U1w89A

[Knight of Time]

Granted. As a result though, some Pokemon end up evolving into similar Digimon (e.g. Charmander to Greymon), and some Digimon end up evolving into similar Pokemon (e.g. Agumon to Charmeleon), making the movie not only a crossover, but a mixed-up crossover as well.

I wish that Mike Super the great magician (probably the best magician in the world) would do another show in my home province someday.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. He turns you into a frog in front of a live audience.

I wish I could maintain a better order in my room.

[Blademaster]

Granted. You own a mine from the 1849 Gold Rush that has long since been emptied of gold.

I wish I knew what sambuca was.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, you decide to Google it, but unfortunately it appears that someone has attached a virus on Wikipedia and you get a text like this: "Sambuca är en örtlikör ifrån Italien. Har en tydlig smak av anis och fänkål. Vid serveringen läggs ofta 2-3 kaffebönor i glaset och spriten antänds och serveras brinnande." And then your computer blows up.

I wish hackers found something better and more creative to do.

[Knight of Time]

Granted. They begin to make their own video games in the pirating fashion, and pretty soon, their games end up being sold alongside real video games in the stores, until their games end up outnumbering the real deals.

I wish people would learn to suck it up each time they are required to go through an intense physical challenge.

[Blademaster]

Granted. The dog doesn't like you. At all. And it has rabies.

I wish I could make my voice sound like any voice I wanted, at will.

[Blademaster]

Granted. It arrives in winter and the global climate destabilizes as a result, destroying the world.

I wish I could have spontaneous theme music of my choosing activate wherever I went.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Yeah but they are all awful pieces that in the end annoy the heck out of you and everyone around you.

I wish there was more PM space at TPM.

[Blademaster]

Granted. The comic industry goes under due to funding drying up.

I wish I could get a job and be competent at it any time I chose to.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted but the job gets boring and you have to switch it all the time.

I wish Blademaster got a functioning SNES.

[Fett One]

Granted but it has no controllers and no battery pack so he can't use it.

I wish gunblades were real.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. You enter an epic Gunblade match with Seifer from Final Fantasy VIII andd end up more damaged than Squall in the intro of that game.

I wish I was handsome.

[Fett One]

Granted but its all outdated language that is no longer used so it won't help you get a job.

I wish there was a movie that has Han Solo team up with Captain Kirk.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. In the new film, Chewbacca is replaced by Captain Kirk. Poor Chewbacca.

I wish I could amuse more and more people with my TPM replies.

[Fett One]

Granted. Now 95 percent of the world is behind bars.

I wish junk food was healthy.

[DivineAll]

Granted. Now regular health food is high calories.

I wish American politicians actually did something about improving the economy.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. America's government improves the economies of China and India.

I wish to become a moderator.

[Fett One]

Granted but its stolen from you within seconds of it being handed to you.

I wish cartoon characters wear different clothing in every episode.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. Obviously, that'll make them harder to recognize.

I wish I could switch my brains off for a set time so that I'd get sleep more easily.

[Fett One]

Granted but you lose the ability to eat with a knife and fork.

I wish for a Transformers Beast Wars movie, featuring the original voice cast and the original script writers.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, the original script writers make an appearance as actors and the voice actors write the script.

I wish I were Naruto.

[Fett One]

Granted. You are now great at playing Madden video games.

I wish vampire tv shows weren't popular.