Tiponi, Dæmon League Quester O_O Chapter 47 O_O

[eevee-shayna]

Glad to see you picking apart my fic some more. good, that's what a reader should do. keep analyzing it, i enjoy your theories and such.

And at last, I offer the next chapter. I've been up all night (it's now 5o am and i haven't slept yet) writing various literature i'm simaltaniously working on at the moment, and i just finished chapter 42. so when it gets around to geing posted, note that i was fatigued and let that explain the odd style.

anyway, here's the next one for you. enjoy.


Chapter 36

The teenagers were a few trees beyond Cauda's room and were taking their time on their nice stroll. The already eventful day seemed to have become cheerier as thoughts of legendary birds filled their heads. While crossing one of the many suspended bridges in Swarm, Tiponi couldn't help but speak up about the book.

"You know how I'm a Moltres? Well, I didn't think it matched me at first, but I was thinking about it. A Moltres is determined. I guess I'm determined, because I have come all this way and fought many battles just to be a Quester. And Medwin is determined, because when we were in the forest and you told him about the new attacks he could learn, he was determined to learn them," Tiponi said.

"He sure was. He almost burned down that tree," said Anata teasingly.

Medwin looked up at his human, interested in the conversation.

"We are alike in ways like that. I never thought about it, but the characteristics of Moltres describe both of us. Neither of us ever give up in a battle," Medwin said.

"And when I had my eye problem, I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want anyone's help. Just like how Medwin, with that little attitude of his, doesn't want help," Tiponi said.

"Hey!" replied Medwin indignantly.

"You both picked up the training pretty quickly," chimed in Anata.

"And I can tell that you two live for battles and winning them. You sure enjoy a challenge," added Ekad.

They reached a tree staircase and proceeded to climb down. The light from the windows danced across the hollow insides of the giant tree with a glowing patchwork effect.

"But there is still the one about a "fiery personality" that doesn't quite fit me," said Tiponi.

"Well," said Ekad, "that can't be by chance. Somehow, you have a fiery personality. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

Ekad brushed her shoulder gently as he passed her on the stairs to lead the way through the door. Although he had barely touched her, Tiponi suddenly felt very warm, and stomach felt fluttery. She shook off the strange sensation, but the feeling still lay faintly in her gut as she watched Ekad walk in front of her, his brown hair swaying softly while they walked.

Medwin, feeling his human’s emotion, looked up at Tiponi. Her usually pale skin was dusted with rose on her cheeks.

"We're just about there. It won't take to long, I just have to give the bread and coins to Hakui," Ekad said.

The sound of his voice snapped Tiponi out of whatever she had been feeling, and she began to act like her regular self.

"I can pay for the coin part of the fee, you don't need to pay for me," she said.

"It's okay Tiponi, I want to," Ekad replied.

"But remember, I don't like help. I have enough coins, I can pay," Tiponi said, feeling witty yet serious.

"Yes, but I would prefer to be a gentleman and pay for you," Ekad responded.

He had her. Tiponi couldn't resist an old-fashioned gentleman. After all, she was an old-fashioned type of person, just like Medwin was one of the oldest types of pokemon. Tiponi pouted, but she did not say anything.

Upon arrival at Hakui's room, Ekad struck the wooden door three times with his knuckles. Moments later, a voice responded.

"Busy! Leave payments at door. If it's an emergency, you may enter. But I have an emergency now," the voice said with an urgent tone. It sounded like the man's dæmon.

Obediently, Ekad leaned the basket he had been carrying against the door. The basket held the bread and coins, neatly packed. With their business done, Ekad turned and began to head home.

"Wait, do we have to go back to the room just yet?" Tiponi asked.

Ekad stopped walking and turned to Tiponi. "What did you have in mind?" He asked.

"Well, I was kind of hoping we could do some training. It's such a nice day, and I haven't trained in a few days," she said.

Ekad nodded in approval.

"Sounds like a plan. Let’s find a good area," Ekad said.

Excited, the two set out for the nearest field. They passed a few that were already being used, but finally came across one that was on the edge of the woods. Medwin and Tiponi immediately went to their positions, but Ekad and Anata just walked into the middle of the Rec. Much to the outsiders' confusion, the two Swarm residents sat down.

"Come over here, Tiponi. Remember the training I gave you? We have to meditate first before a battle," Ekad said. He closed his eyes.

"Me-dee-tate? I don't remember that," Medwin said, clearly annoyed at the delay.

Ekad opened his eyes.

"I haven't told you that word? Well, it's what we are doing when we practice one of the Four Strengths. You remember, Mental Strength, and we reflect?" Ekad said.

"That's called meditating? I wouldn't have guessed." Tiponi said.

"Well, it's good to do before a battle. It gets you focused and ready for a battle. So sit down and clear your minds and do what I told you in training," Ekad said, kindly.

The girl and Charmander sat down and closed their eyes, and began to remember the lesson more clearly.

Tiponi first noticed how warm the sun felt. Her sense of sight was cut off, which somehow made the sun seem warmer. Remembering the lesson, Tiponi cleared her mind. With her eyes still closed, she reached out for Medwin's paws. Once she had the familiar scaly digits clasped in her grasp, she tried to think of only her dæmon's mind. Somehow, she could tell that her dæmon was doing the same thing. They continued to pool their minds together until they felt like truly one being. The girl almost felt like her dæmon was inside of her and part of her, instead of a separate being. She concentrated on this feeling, and gradually she felt completely mentally aware of the Charmander. With this feeling filling her mind, Tiponi sensed that she could read her dæmon's mind.

Now that she was one with her dæmon, she was ready to reflect on memories. But before she could think of one, a memory came floating into her mind. Medwin had though of it, and in their state, he was able to share the thought. He was reminiscing about a childhood event. Once the memory was over, Tiponi thought of her different emotions while in battle. Back and forth, the two sent their emotion during battle and how to understand and read them. Fear. Anger. Frustration. Thoughtfulness. Joy. Triumph. Excitement. Pain. Stubbornness. Defeat. Victory. They then moved on to battle tactics they had come up with. They poured these thought together until they felt fully mentally strong and ready for the battle.

At the same time, the two opened their eyes. Ekad sat in front of them, looking at the two intently.

"I swear I saw the sun move in the sky while you were meditating," he joked.

"Good work, though. I see it's really helping. But now, onto the battle," Anata said anxiously.

Both teams reported to their respected positions on the field and prepared for battle. Tiponi felt mentally awake, and completely confident that she could beat Ekad.

"Ready, set, go!" yelled Ekad.

This field had no tree for Anta to climb, so she immediately skittered off to one side, where there was a patch of thicker grass. She stopped there, knowing her green and black exoskeleton helped camouflage her.

Still in a reflective mode from meditation, Tiponi thought of their last gym battle, where their opponent hid in tall grass, and what they had done to prevent that. She opened her mouth to tell Medwin to burn the grass, but as she did the Charmander gave a barely noticeable nod, then opened his mouth and spat a series of small fireballs to burn away the grass. Tiponi smiled, confident that Medwin would be able to attack Anata easily when she had to flee from the burning plants.

“Intim!” Ekad suddenly yelled. Both Medwin and Tiponi were startled when Anata leaped at her opponent, her hind end raised to display the face pattern on her back. For one frightening moment, it appeared to be an actual scowling face, intimidating Medwin into taking a step backward. Anata seized her chance and shot a stream of sticky string at Medwin as she landed on the ground.

“Flutter!” Tiponi called urgently, still shaken by the previous attack, which she realized was probably Scary Face. Medwin belatedly leaped away from the oncoming String Shot, but his foot still was caught in them, and he crashed clumsily to the ground. Tiponi felt the pain as Medwin’s side hit the ground, as well as…his annoyance?

But I only feel his emotions when we’re meditating, Tiponi thought, slightly confused.

Aaarg, not this stuff again, she heard Medwin think to himself. How can I get out of it quickly?

Tiponi saw that Anata had started charging forward, one claw raised to strike.

There would be time later to wonder how she could hear Medwin’s thoughts. “Spin,” she instructed mentally and verbally, trying to let her thoughts carry the image of Medwin’s tail flame slamming into Anata and burning the spider’s thread away. Medwin obediently spun around on his entangled foot, swinging his tail at his attacker. His large, white winter flame was easily big enough to char the thread and still score a nasty hit on Anata. She flinched back from the pain, but bravely stuck one clawed leg in Medwin’s side as the tail passed. Still spinning, he was unable to dodge, and his momentum caused Anata’s claw to open a gash in his side. She completed the Fury Swipes with a few more strikes of her claws, then scrambled painfully away from Medwin and his dangerous flame.

“Now, Stand and Fright!” Tiponi shouted. Medwin grinned, eager to try this particular tactic. He planted his feet firmly, stood tall and glared down at his opponent, unleashing his own Scary Face. He flared his tail flame slightly, which cast a long shadow at Anata and made him appear larger. He let out a low Growl and flashed a feral grin to add to the effect. Anata was rooted to the ground, almost quivering at the sight of the menacing figure in front of her. The Flamethrower caught Anta and Ekad completely by surprise.

Anta tried desperately to scramble away from the gout of flame, but did not a chance of moving fast enough after being frozen in fear. The grass around Anata was instantly seared to crispy black dust as the spider was enveloped in the stream of brilliant orange fire. The torrent continued for several long moments, during which the defending pokemon was completely obscured from view. Then Medwin stopped to catch his breath, and make sure his opponent was OK. He didn’t want to hurt her too badly.

As the smoke cleared, Anata could be seen; she was frantically rolling across the ground to prevent her skin from catching on fire.

Ekad smiled, pleased with his opponents’ clever tactic. The two certainly had gotten stronger. But he still had a few tricks of his own. “Fein! Pin!” he called.

Instantly Anata was on her feet again and circling around Medwin, though at a bit of a distance. Her eyes glowed black, then a stream of darkness shot from them. Medwin successfully leaped away from that first Night Shade, but when Anata released a few more rapid-fire bolts of blackness, he was hard pressed to avoid them. Eventually one hit, enveloping his eyes and temporarily blinding him.

Tiponi recalled how horrifying it felt to be completely robbed of sight. Medwin had never known that, especially because even in the blackest night he had always had his tail flame to see by. Somehow in their semi-connected state, the two experiences were shared, and they both began to panic.

Anata did not notice that her opponent was preoccupied. She was carrying out part two of the strategy; spraying a large web over Medwin, thereby pinning him to the ground. She further anchored him by depositing two large sticky gobs on his feet, then wrapped on long thread around his muzzle for good measure. Then she stood back and fired volley after volley of Poison Stings at him.

Meanwhile, Medwin’s vision had not cleared yet. Although Tiponi could see, her shared panic was keeping her from fully understanding what was going on in front of her.

I gotta calm down. Gotta calm down, Tiponi thought nervously to herself. I can’t let this distract me, we have to keep fighting. I can see Medwin in front of me; he’s being attacked. I got to…I don’t want to be blind again!

Tiponi? Medwin’s voice broke in her thoughts, sounding worried as well as shaken. What’s going on? Not sure what he meant, she stayed silent a moment, taking deep, slow breaths as she fought down panic.

Ekad finally noticed that something was wrong, and called, “Stop a minute, Anata. Tiponi, is something wrong?”

His voice shook her out of her thoughts, and she looked up at him. Then noticed the state her demon was in, and finally felt the numerous pinpricks of the Poison Stings.

“Oh, er…yeah, we’ll be fine now…” she replied awkwardly. At the same time, she silently told Mediwn, You have a lot of webbing on you, flare your tail flame to burn some off. Medwin immediately forced the pale flame to blaze up as much as he could, causing it to grow over his head. His back was free of threads in moments, and at Tiponi’s command of, Now swing it low to clear your feet, he dropped it low to the ground so the flame licked at his ankles, freeing his feet.

“Now Spin again!” Tiponi called, letting her mind carry the image of Medwin’s flame wrapping around him and removing the remaining webbing, freeing his arms and muzzle. He promptly spun on the spot, revolving several times as he was bathed in the flames.

Anata, having seen him free his feet, had resumed her volley of Poison Stings, but since they were incinerated in the revolving flames, she quickly stopped and scurried away, circling her foe and staying low to the ground. She crept closer to attack as soon as possible, but was surprised when the spinning flames grew into a fiery tornado around him. She didn’t have time to escape when it expanded wide enough to encompass her. Medwin, his sight beginning to return, stared in surprise as the flames almost took on a life of their own and shifted until Anata was in their center.

Tiponi and Ekad were similarly surprised. Tiponi gaped, just as shocked as her dæmon, as Ekad exclaimed, “Is that a Fire Spin? I think that’s the first time you’ve done that, right?” Tiponi and Medwin nodded simultaneously, and Ekad smiled at them. “Well done!” he cried as the whirling flames petered out, leaving behind an arachnid who looked much worse for the wear.

Shocked as they were, Tiponi worked fast to press their advantage. Now Flamethrower, that ought to end this! she mentally told Medwin. Or she tried to, anyway. Medwin gave no sign that he’d heard, and instead clutched his stomach as he watched his opponent try to figure out which legs were too burnt to stand on. As he did, Tiponi felt the wave of nausea that meant Medwin had been poisoned.

Better end this fast, she thought to herself. Flamethrower! she tried to mentally call as loud as she could, finding it odd to be yelling without a voice.

Medwin jumped, looked back at her with a what’d you do that for? kind of look, then breathed a stream of flames at Anata. Surprisingly, she was still able to stumble out of the way, trying to avoid walking on a few of her legs. Trying to ignore the dizzying feeling of nausea, Tiponi noted which legs seemed to be worst burnt.

“Charge!” she called, and Medwin sprung forward to deliver a Slash. “Left,” she added, indicating that he should attack the more injured left side. Anata barely leaped out of the way of the first swipe, then landed on an injured leg and stumbled from the pain. Medwin was on her in a second, scoring two quick hits on her injured legs. She finally crumpled to the ground, followed by Ekad.

Tiponi ran over to where the defeated Ekad lay on the ground. Although she felt bad about hurting her friend, she was ecstatic that she had won the battle. Not to long ago, he had beaten her terribly. But now, the student had bested the master. She knew that she was finally ready to take on Muata.

[mr_pikachu]

Ah, I finally am able to read this! It's good to finally be catching up again.

There seem to be a lot of things going on at once. First the poison plants nearly devastate Tiponi, then Hakui's office has an emergency, and now Tiponi has accomplished the last goal before going after her next Questing stamp. I liked the excitement you added to this chapter. The rampant action was great after several chapters filled mostly with emotion and idle suspense. Good work in mixing in that particular brand of intensity as well.

There were some things worth commenting on, however...



"It won't take to long, I just have to give the bread and coins to Hakui," Ekad said.

The first “to” should instead be “too”. Also, a comma doesn’t work in this sentence. Since you don’t have a conjunction after the comma, it should instead be a semicolon. Remember, when you connect two complete thoughts in a single sentence, the method by which they should be connected is determined by whether or not a conjunction comes after the punctuation mark. If there is a conjunction, a comma is required. If not, a semicolon is preferable.


"I can pay for the coin part of the fee, you don't need to pay for me," she said.

Again, a comma doesn’t fit. See the previous notation.


"It's okay Tiponi, I want to," Ekad replied.

I would suggest another semicolon change, but too many of those can begin to look unnatural. In light of that, you may want to consider simply splitting some of these thoughts completely into separate sentences using periods. But that’s merely an aesthetic judgment that you’ll have to make.


"I have enough coins, I can pay," Tiponi said, feeling witty yet serious.

See previous comment.


Once she had the familiar scaly digits clasped in her grasp, she tried to think of only her dæmon's mind.

Ooh. The words “clasped” and “grasp” sound very similar. Using pairs of words such as this one can be a useful literary technique, but it can also backfire in a big way if your readers are distracted by the rhyming. Be careful with this.


Now that she was one with her dæmon, she was ready to reflect on memories. But before she could think of one, a memory came floating into her mind. Medwin had though of it, and in their state, he was able to share the thought. He was reminiscing about a childhood event. Once the memory was over, Tiponi thought of her different emotions while in battle.

It might be better if you actually went through the memory you mentioned so that the readers could get a fuller perspective of the situation. It can be annoying for a reader to hear all about how the characters felt about a situation without knowing what that situation was. Leaving things unsaid can either spark interest or frustration. It’s all about how you use the omission.


Back and forth, the two sent their emotion during battle and how to understand and read them.

“them” refers to a plural noun, while “emotion” is a singular noun. These words should match in that regard. Were there multiple emotions, or was the sole emotion an “it”, rather than a “them”?


They poured these thought together until they felt fully mentally strong and ready for the battle.

“these” and “thought” also don’t match. See the previous comment for an explanation.


This field had no tree for Anta to climb, so she immediately skittered off to one side, where there was a patch of thicker grass.

First, (Anta/Anata). Second, the last comma should be deleted. Even though “there was a patch of thicker grass” is a complete thought, the word “where” is not a conjunction, so it cannot properly be used in connecting these two phrases. Simply put, the last thought can’t stand on its own in this manner.


Still in a reflective mode from meditation, Tiponi thought of their last gym battle, where their opponent hid in tall grass, and what they had done to prevent that.

The last two commas should be deleted since the phrases following them are not complete thoughts. The first comma is okay, however, because it follows an introductory phrase.


She flinched back from the pain, but bravely stuck one clawed leg in Medwin’s side as the tail passed.

The comma should be deleted since the phrase after it is not a complete thought. Or, alternatively, you could reformat the sentence to complete that thought.


Anata was rooted to the ground, almost quivering at the sight of the menacing figure in front of her.

Instead of “was”, you might want to try using a more interesting verb such as “stood”, “froze”, or something along those lines. Excite your readers! Interesting verbs help them to feel the intensity.


The Flamethrower caught Anta and Ekad completely by surprise.

(Anta/Anata)


Anta tried desperately to scramble away from the gout of flame, but did not a chance of moving fast enough after being frozen in fear.

Anta “did not a chance”? I think you’re missing a word here.


Eventually one hit, enveloping his eyes and temporarily blinding him.

This is difficult, as “hit” can be used as either a verb or a noun. Prior to seeing the text after the comma, both scenarios could apply. That sort of thing has the potential to confuse readers, so you may want to use a verb that is clearer.


Not to long ago, he had beaten her terribly.

(to/too)



Even though I've made many different points here, it should be noted that much of what I mentioned includes concepts and rules that I have not mentioned until recently. Just keep working and practicing trying to stay within the guidelines of literature, and you'll do superbly.

I must say, your plot seems to be picking back up nicely. The string of calmer chapters was starting to worry me, but it is clear that this fic is back to the main plot. Or is this the primary plotline? There are clearly many things going on beneath the surface. Well, I suppose only time will tell. I'll be looking forward to your next chapter. See you then!

[eevee-shayna]

Thank you once again, Pikachu Sensei.
I'm glad the plot is to your liking. Personally, I found the book and everything about it fascinating. And I suppose I do like to write more about emotions and feelings then action. But seeing that you like action and battles, I have good news for you. There will be many more battles and movement going on.

And speaking of battles, I may add that I don't actually write them. Rose does. I've never had an eye nor knock for writing them, and i could never add diversety to them. I just tell Rose what i want to happen in them and the outcome, and she writes them.

And speaking of that, the next chapter won't come out until rose writes the next battle. she's a bit behind on her editing/battle writing duties. And she'll be gone on vacation for a week, then have three days off, then start school again. so i don't know when she'll have time (btw, hope you don't mind me telling them about you, Rose).

To your "finally getting back to the primary plot" comment, I what like to add that I found that rather amusing. I supose that this fic is a trainer fic, but because I never write the battles and because I put so much else into it, it always seemed much more of a cross-over fic to me. Battling never also never seemed the primary plot to me because I know the blueprints for the entire story, and I have been aware for a long time of the climax. The story, as far as I've posted on TPM, hasn't even reached this point yet.

Well, I don't know when your next chapter will be up. but hopefully it will be soon.

[mr_pikachu]

Thank you once again, Pikachu Sensei.
I'm glad the plot is to your liking. Personally, I found the book and everything about it fascinating. And I suppose I do like to write more about emotions and feelings then action. But seeing that you like action and battles, I have good news for you. There will be many more battles and movement going on.

And speaking of battles, I may add that I don't actually write them. Rose does. I've never had an eye nor knock for writing them, and i could never add diversety to them. I just tell Rose what i want to happen in them and the outcome, and she writes them.

And speaking of that, the next chapter won't come out until rose writes the next battle. she's a bit behind on her editing/battle writing duties. And she'll be gone on vacation for a week, then have three days off, then start school again. so i don't know when she'll have time (btw, hope you don't mind me telling them about you, Rose).

To your "finally getting back to the primary plot" comment, I what like to add that I found that rather amusing. I supose that this fic is a trainer fic, but because I never write the battles and because I put so much else into it, it always seemed much more of a cross-over fic to me. Battling never also never seemed the primary plot to me because I know the blueprints for the entire story, and I have been aware for a long time of the climax. The story, as far as I've posted on TPM, hasn't even reached this point yet.

Well, I don't know when your next chapter will be up. but hopefully it will be soon.

Actually, in all honesty, constant action can get dull in literature. That wasn't quite what I was referring to. What I actually meant was that a lot of time was spent on various small side-adventures that seemed to be only mildly relevant (i.e. the cooking contest, the concert, etc). I understand that those features helped to delevop various characters and their perspectives, but I was concerned for awhile that the fic was bogging down. A Pokemon fic doesn't have to center on battling; it doesn't have to have battling at all. However, for the time being, it seems like the primary plot is Tiponi's quest and the events that surround it. (I'm sure it will eventually change, but everything to this point seems to revolve around her Questing journey, rather than the other way around. For that reason, the journey is currently the focus, in my opinion.) So it's good to be getting back to that. If the battling was a side-story that accompanied something else, then that something else would be the plot you'd want to focus the most on. Sorry if I wasn't clear; I tend to have problems like that when I'm frantically trying to catch up with fanfics. ^_^;;

I actually think it's quite interesting that you and MTR work as a team. I'm a control freak (yes, I admit it), but I've considered doing a joint fic in the past for fun and for the challenge. I'm impressed by your teamwork; I never would have noticed that if you hadn't told me. The transitions feel so seamless that it would have been impossible to tell. You two work together very well in that regard, so you should be proud.

Anyway, I'll be waiting for your next installment. See you then!


P.S. Ack! I almost didn't even think about it, but I need to ask a question. As a rule, I don't do the complete, in-depth reviews such as the one here unless I've been explicitly asked to do so. When I first started reviewing fics, a few people grew rather frustrated by my comments, so I've abided by that personal guideline since then. eevee-shayna, you've asked me to go all-out, but MTR hasn't. In light of the fact that this is a joint fic, I'd like to ask whether I should review the battles the way I usually critique fics or continue reviewing them in the same manner that I have done throughout this fic. MTR, would you mind giving me a heads-up on that? (If I don't hear from you, I'll just revert back to my usual, more laid-back reviewing methods for the battles.) No matter what you decide, just know that there won't be any hard feelings. Believe me, I understand how being nitpicked on every tiny detail can be frustrating, so if you don't want me to continue with my extreme criticisms for your sections, don't be afraid to let me know. I'd rather not irritate the writers here if I can avoid it. Thanks.

[eevee-shayna]

side-plots? I can understand that too many of them may seem unrelevant. but the two you used as an example, the cooking contest and the concert, were both part of the Harvesting festival. May I point out that It was a festival, and to not put multiple festical activities would have made it seem empty and unreal. I didn't want to just say "the festival happened, they had a great ime. during the day they harvested, went to a cooking contest, and cider-drinking contest, a costume contest, and a concert. they went home late in the evening exhausted from the day's excitement." I wanted to fleash out all the activities, go through all of them. Also, I may add, though it is a bit of a spoiler, I wanted to have a nice Festival to be kind to my characters and make them all happy once more before the huge storm. Figurative storm, of course. I kind of just wanted to be nice to them once more. and that's all the spoilers you will get from me.

Glad you enjoy Rose any my teamwork. And, for our benifet, I like to add our saying; "We're not twins!"

Speaking of joint fics, since you brought it up, my new one with Samchu is just that. Works well, too. Of course, we've only posted 4 chapters because I sort of had the impression that the Golden Pen Awards would be happening soon, so I thought I might hold off a few weeks in light of the "best new fic" award, which requires under 4 chapters posted. But it's been quite awhile and nothing has really happened with that, so it's just been sitting around. of course, Sam and I have been continuosly producing chaoters, but we can't display them yet... Anyway, it'd be nice if something happened with that.

I'm sure she wouldn't mind, but you'll have to wait for her answer. iShe most definately will reply.

[Mew Trainer Rose]

And indeed I am replying.

Nitpick away! I'm an English major and enjoy the intricacies of writing. I also like it when other people prove they're literate. For both reasons, I enjoy reading the comments you give on the writing in this fic. Feel free to be as meticulous as you'd like.

[mr_pikachu]

MTR: Thank you. I appreciate you letting me know. I'll keep on reviewing the same way I have been, and hopefully you'll enjoy my attempts to prove my worth. (I certainly hope I'm literate...)

And you're an English major in college? What year are you, out of curiosity?


eevee-shayna: The calm before the storm, huh? I have a feeling the deeper plot is about to explode onto the scene. I'm still curious what part the mysterious man will play (no, I haven't forgotten). And you seem to be dropping hints that Etchemin will return, if I'm not mistaken. That could definitely shake things up.

Oh, before I forget, there's something I wanted to mention. If you want readers to ignore the wacky style of an upcoming chapter, an easy and very effective way to accomplish that is to simply edit and/or rewrite it. You seem to be the type of writer that wants to produce as great of works as possible. I think it'd be worth your while to perfect that chapter if you think there may be problems or inadequacies with it.

Anyway, I've given my two cents for the hour. Once again, I await your next chapter, and I'll see you when it's ready to be posted! Until then!

[eevee-shayna]

AUTHER'S SIDE BAR:

I haven't done one of these in awhile, so, why not put one in.
Okay, music I've been listening to today: Mamas and the Papas, Jeferson Airplane, and Death Cab For Cutie.
Might I add that summer is almost over, which means my junoir year of high school awaits. On a side note from that, don't be suprised if this fic gets slower then usual, since the school year has no brakes for me. So, let me reminisce my Summer: I got to see Roger McGuinn/Donnavan concert (I so belong in the 60's!). I rock climbed this summer, and no, not on a cheap plastic thing, i mean on an actual rock cliff. that was awsome. And a few weeks ago, some of my friends pulled a Rocky Horror Picture Show night, complete with the props (newspapers, squirtguns, cards, Scott brand toilet paper, ect.), audience particapation scripts, us acting out the parts (we all know that movie by heart, we need help), and of course the costumes. I dressed up as Columbia, but in her "Rose Tints My World" song costume, complette with a feather boa and stage make-up. yay theater geek! And I had the PJ's and Micky Mouse ears for the scene before that. I give my friend Kudos points for dressing as Frank N. Furter. She even had the shoes (black and white sequinced with 9 inch heals), which we had to keep her from falling over in. I'm sure we weren't as excentric as the real midnight showings in theaters, but our state doesn't have any. So we improvise.

Memories...

And I just finished reading Pet Shop of Horrors, and Wallflower. Two awsome, awsome mangas that I must recomend.

Oh, I'd also like to point out the title of this topic. Some of you may have noticed that I change the symbols next to the chapter number every time I post a new chapter. Well, this time I have (-o-) on each siade of "Chapter 36". It's mostly for my amusement, but those are supposed to pe pokeballs. Just pretend above the 'o' is red and below it is white. Yes, I'm aware I don't use pokeballs in my fic, but I fould the symbol amusing nonetheless.

Alright, I'll let y'all go now. See you when I post the next chapter!

[sesshomaru]

I am just postin here to say I caught on the chapters and I like it a lot. Your writing style is good.

[eevee-shayna]

thank you! i'm glad you enjoy it! please feel free to discuss any of my fic. i love comments. (and if you like my writing style, a also currently have a second fic, as my sig points out. *endors, endors*)

BTW, sorry for the long delay in a new chapter. it's all done except for the battle. i'm really no good at writing battles, but rose is. however, she's had some trivial casualties that have stopped her from writing it. it'll be done sometime, though.

[Mew Trainer Rose]

I'm working in it, I swear! College was just a bit crazy at the start of this semester. -_- I won't bore you with the details.

And mr. pikachu, I'm a Junior. (I could have sworn I replied to that question earlier.) I'm actually a double major: English/Early Childhood Education. My second major is the root of most of the craziness, which is mostly sorted out now.

[mr_pikachu]

Don't worry about the delay. Believe me, it's not like I have long expanses of time where I wish there was a fanfic to read. Well, I guess some of my classes would count, but still...

Ah, I see, MTR. I'm a sophomore, myself. And you probably have answered it already. I don't have a good memory when it comes to these things. So keep the information handy, because you'll be answering that same question again at least three more times before this fic ends. Believe it.

Just make sure you don't rush the chapter. It's much better to see a great chapter after a long wait than an ordinary chapter instantly. Quality is more important than speed, as long as the wait doesn't stretch into decades. *nods sagely*

[eevee-shayna]

Thanks all whom voted for TDLQ for various awards. True, I did not collect any Golden Pens, but the fact that you all voted for this fic is plenty. It shows me my work is appriciated. So thanks for the votes.

And thank you Pikachu-Sensei for your uber nominations. You must really like this story. lol, I do too.

While you are all waiting for the next chapter, you could always re-read the fic. That way, you could pic up on the previous mysteries, and see how they've either been solved or have progressed. That or you'll see how bad my writing was in the beginning of this fic.

[eevee-shayna]

Alright. here, finally, is the long awaited next chapter, containing a gym battle. i must worn that do to rose being bogged down with school work, i took the liberty of writing the battle and editing the chapter. you can tell me if it turned out okay. anyway, here it is. enjoy.

EDIT: wow, the last chapter was posted in august. i sure made you all wait awile. eh-he.. sorry 'bout that. i'll try to get the next one to you sooner then two months, though that one has a battle as well that's yet to be writen..

Chapter 37


The afternoon sun poured into the well furnished room. The days were getting increasingly colder, and the glint of sun was a welcomed friend that seemed to be fading away. I strong wind rattled the room’s window. But the window stood fast, and the room was kept warm with the hearth burning in the nearby kitchen.

A stirring sound startled the girl in the room, and brought her attention to the boy on the sleeping bag on the floor. She was sitting on a chair in front of the boy, awaiting his wakening.

Ekad slowly began to move, rolling over from his side to his back. He lifted his eyelids, adorned with thin, light brown lashes, and stared up for a moment. Realizing where he was, he sat up, and gazed upon Tiponi.

Tiponi stared back at him, siting upright in the chair. Her skirt and petticoats poured over the chair’s wooden seat, like a comforter over a mattress. She brought her hands to her hair, and tucked a few wavy locks behind her ears in one swift motion.

“Hey,” she said quietly, as if not to break the serenity of the moment.

“How did I get back-,” Ekad began to say.

“I had help.” Tiponi cut in, to answer his unfinished question.

“Oh,” replied Ekad.

He lowered his head and the room became silent once more. The two shuffled around restlessly. Medwin shattered the silence with his voice.

“Cauda said she was at work. Where exactly does she work?” the Charmander asked.

Ekad smiled slightly.

“She’s a baker. Couldn’t you guess? She hasn’t been on for long, though. Before baker, she was an Herbalist. Before that, a Farmer. Before that, various assistants. She’s been a Craftsman, a Carpenter, a Quester, you name it. She just can’t take one job for too long, you know? But I think she may settle down as a Baker. Well, Baker’s assistant, actually. She works for Morcades.” Ekad said smoothly.

Tiponi thought for a moment. She had heard that name somewhere before. Medwin caught it before she did.

“Didn’t Morcades win a silver wreath in the cooking competition?” he asked.

“Yes, that’s right. She is half Mom’s age, but she is very talented at cooking.” Ekad responded.

“Morcades is Matchi’s older sister.” blurted out Anata.

This news shocked Tiponi. They hated Matchi so much, yet his older sister was renowned. Tiponi couldn’t make sense out of it.

“It’s odd that Morcades is accepted, but her brother...is not.” she said, trying to understand how the people of Swarm thought.

“I guess so,” said Anata, “They are in a family of 8 children. All of their names start with ‘M’, actually. Anyway, the seven older siblings are well known and respected in Swarm. All of them are Bakers, or great Questers, or something of the sort. A royal family, actually. However, Matchi is the only one that turned out, well, different, I guess. No one knows what went wrong,”

Tiponi noticed that Ekad had been quiet the entire time. She sensed that this was a touchy subject, and changed the topic of discussion quickly.

“I was thinking of challenging the Gym Leader,” she said.

“Mauta? Really?” said Ekad. He rose his head.

“Another sibling from Matchi’s family,” Anata said.

Ekad gave Anata a warning glance. He tried to conceal it, but the look was quite blatant.

“I think it’s a great idea, Tiponi. After all, you beat me. It’s time to challenge the Gym Leader,” Ekad continued. He really did seem excited about Tiponi challenging Mauta, but he had somehow left a sour aftertaste from his previous comments.

“Then we should go register, or whatever you do here,” said Medwin, in has normal impatient tone.

Ekad stood up and started for the door. He then paused and turned around.

“You know, a Quester challenging the Gym Leader is a big deal in Swarm,” he said.

Tiponi stood up and strolled over to him.

“Yeah, I know,” she said simply.

Ekad paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts.

“You might not. I mean, it’s really big here. Let me put it into proportion for you. You know how many people showed up for the events at the Harvest Festival? It’s like that. Like some sort of tournament, or something. I just don’t want you to be surprised,” Ekad said.

Tiponi thought about it, but somehow she couldn’t comprehend it. All she knew was that she was going to challenge the Gym Leader for her next Stamp. It couldn’t be that different from the other gym battles.

“It’s okay, I know,” Tiponi said.

Ekad, seeming convinced, led the troop out of the room, and they headed to the Swarm Gym.


----

Tiponi was not prepared for this. All the other gyms she had been to were side rooms or bare fields. But this, this she had not expected. This was a gym beyond her imagination. This was a dream come true.

The gym was far off from the main town. It was on the ground, with four pillar-like giant trees for the corners. There walls of finely polished wood enclosing the arena. A waterfall of ivy poured down the sides. The trees’ canopy created the roof. In the front of the building was a large wooden door. The shear size of the building was intimidating. Following Ekad, Tiponi neared the gym.

With some effort, Ekad opened the door. They entered the building, and a few moments later they heard a startling “thud” behind them. Turning in surprise, the two realized that the sound was the large door shutting. Still startled, they resumed to walk into the arena.

Tiponi was surprised to find the rim of the arena covered with seats. There were enough seats to hold the entire population of Swarm! In the middle of the building was a standard size Rec and Rim that made up the battlefield.

Standing on the field was a tall man. He wore green trousers and a thick, textured, green sweater. His hair was cut to earlobe length, and jet black like his siblings. Standing beside him was the largest Parasect that Tiponi had ever seen.

Noticing his guests, he approached them. They met at the edge of the Rim.

“Class doesn’t start ‘till sunset, you’re too early,” He said in a strong voice.

Now that they were close up, the girl noticed he had emerald green eyes, and was muscular.

“Oh no, we’re not here for Quester class,” Ekad said, correcting the man’s mistake.

“Oh?” Mauta said, clearly interested.

“I’m here to challenge you for this gym’s stamp,” Tiponi said, finding her voice. She stepped out from behind Ekad, and exposed herself to her competition.

The man stared at her for a minute.

“You’re that outsider, Tiponi. Am I right?” he said.

“Yes,” she replied. She didn’t know what else to say, so she left it at that.

“Well, this is an unexpected surprise, I must say. Well then, when would you like to battle? If it’s convenient for you, I could cancel my class this evening. It would be a good opportunity for them to see an official battle, anyway,”

Tiponi was flabbergasted. She had to schedule a gym battle? It seemed like a strange concept to her.

“That would be fine. But may I ask why you need that much time before the match?” she said.

“You really are an outsider, aren’t you? The people of Swarm need time to be informed, of course. And I need to allow them time to fill up the stadium, now don’t I?” he said, nonchalantly.

The outsider couldn’t think of anything to say. Even Medwin, who had diarrhea-of-the-mouth, couldn’t think of a word to say. This was much different from what they were used to.

Mauta continued, “This is short notice. However, if you tell a handful of people the news, the news’ll spread faster then chickenpox. Now go on, get the word out. Battle at sunset,”

With that, he exited the gym. He seemed very excited. Even his dæmon seemed to have a bounce in her step, as big as she was.

Ekad immediately followed, Tiponi close behind. At a fast pace, they headed to the main part of the city to spread the news.


------

Tiponi stood frozen, like a statue. A pale, trembling, statue. Ekad had been right, she was not prepared for this. The stadium was now full to the brim with Swarm residents, eager for a gym battle.


Not to long ago, her and Ekad had been telling anyone they could find that there was going to be a battle. Out of the couple dozen they had talked to, she had expected six at most. But this was ridiculous. The entire arena was filled. Ekad had tried to warn her of this, but she was not prepared at all. Gym battles really were a big thing in this city. The colossal crowd buzzed with excitement, and it seemed that battling time was about to begin.

The City Organizer entered the arena. The crowd hushed immediately. All eyes, possibly 900 pairs of them, focused on the lone man and his dæmon in the middle of the Rec.

He began, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to another exciting challenge in the Swarm Bowl. Today, our very own gym leader Mauta is being challenged by Tiponi of Quartz. Mauta has a record of 241 wins and 9 loses. Tiponi has received badges at Lichen, Lime Water, and Hot Springs. So without further ado, I present to you our battlers. Tiponi!”

Tiponi swallowed her nerves and stepped wearily into the arena. The crowed clapped politely, and a few cheered loudly. She reached the Rim and stood on a slightly elevated platform. Medwin strode in confident steps to the Rec. Tiponi saw him stand as tall as he could. He was completely ready for this match, and the meditation they had done early had only prepared them further.

‘You ready for this, Medwin?’ Tiponi thought.

‘Never been more prepared.’ Medwin thought snidely back.

That made the girl smile and her nerves were quickly calmed.

The crowed was now quieted and the City Organizer spoke again.

“And of course, the bug/grass Gym Leader of Swarm, Mauta!”

The crowd rose from their feet and cheered as loud as the could. Amidst the thunder, Mauta tread into the arena, with his giant Parasect close behind. They walked to their respected places and the storm soon submerged.

Tiponi could barely hear the rules and regulations being spoken, because she was too busy planning with Medwin. They had a few tricks up their sleeves. She handed over her Questing permit when called to. At last, the City Organizer left the Rec and sat in a front row seat. One of the advantages of being in his position, no doubt. Tiponi glimpsed into the stands and found Ekad. He waved at her, and she smiled back. The battle was announced, and the action began.

Tiponi closed her eyes in order to cut off her visual of the large crowd, and to calm herself.


“Carmelita, Plant!”

Tiponi opened her eyes. Ignoring the crowd, she set her mind on the battle before her.

“Optical!” Tiponi instructed her dæmon. It was an instruction for a tactic they had devised. It was just a fancy command for Medwin to observe the opponent. Of course, she could just as well have mentally told him that, but yelling a command aloud made it look as if Medwin was about to attack. And to add to the trick, the Charmander kept his eyes glued to the large bug, and kept moving as if using Agility.

“Watch out for him!” warned Mauta to his dæmon.

The Parasect seemed to nod, and resumed her attack. Tiponi and Medwin her alike in puzzlement as they watched their opponent behave oddly. First, she placed her claws upon her spores, then she strained several times, though nothing seemed to happen. At last, she seemed finished with her peculiar behavior, and she lunged at the speedy Charmander. Carmelita then attempted a Slash on Medwin. Fortunately, his movement allowed him to move out of her way.

Again the female Quester questioned this action; why had the Parasect attacked with a Slash, when her trainer had not commanded it? All he had said was ‘Plant’ in the beginning of the match. Could the Slash have been a part of the tactic Plant? In that case, there must have been something more to it.

‘Check her claws, see if there’s anything on them. But DON’T touch them,’ Tiponi thought to her dæmon.

‘I don’t know what you’re looking for,’ he thought back, in his normal way.

Nonetheless, he concentrated his view on the claws which continued to Slash at him. However, he had trouble defending himself, and eventually caught a blow, and another to match, on his two shoulders.

The crowd roared, which brought them back into Tiponi’s conscious. And on top of that, a sickening feeling filled her body that caused her to fall to her knees. All at once, she felt stiff, queasy, and drowsy. It took her several moments to even open her eyes, which were watered over from her pain. When she did, she saw Medwin doing anything he could to escape another blow from the deadly claws.

Although Medwin had not been hit again, Tiponi felt another reeling pain that sent her onto her hands. Panting, she tried to make sense of the situation. Doing her best to ignore the pain, and the crowd, she concentrated on the scene. Carmelita had put something on her claws, most likely multiple things, and had gotten them from her spores. And from them, Tiponi felt three symptoms; paralyzation, pain that happened in spurts, and sleepiness. If they had come from the Parasect, then there was only one option.

‘I think we’ve been hit with Stun Spore, Leach Life, and Spore,’ Tiponi communicated to her dæmon.

‘And Slash,’ he mused.

‘That’s what she hid the spores in, and she planted them in you with the Slash,’ explained Tiponi. Though in her physical form, she was still on her hands and knees and gritting her teeth.

As Medwin contemplated the theory, he was struck by another lethal Slash, which caused them both to flinch. And another drain from Leach Life made them flinch once more.

‘We need a plan,’ Medwin thought.

Tiponi was well aware of that fact. She could tell that the judges were on the verge of stopping the match. But her stubbornness would not allow it. Hardly able to move, she slowly fought her way to a standing position. With all the concentration she had left, Tiponi analyzed the situation so she could form a plan.

‘You need to do attacks that will keep you away from her,’ Tiponi concluded.

With that thought, she announced aloud, “Cause and Effect!”

Medwin was happy to obey, and immediately brought the plan into action. For the first step, he blew blazing fire from his mouth which quickly encircled the Parasect.

“A Fire-spin!” yelled several from the crowd.

However, the attack would not hold Carmelita for long. She would step out of the vortex any moment and render the attack useless.

And that was the exact reason why Cause and Effect was a two step attack.

Medwin then sent a thick, black cloud of smoke into the fire.

“Smoke-screen!” acknowledged various people in the stands.

The Parasect tried to escape the flames, but she couldn’t see through the smoke and was unable to find the way out.

Although the attack was inflicting pain on Carmelita, the previous attacks on Medwin where still taking their toll. The Charmander was really feeling the effects of Stun Spore, and was having trouble keeping up the flame.

“Come towards my voice, Carmelita!” Mauta instructed, “This way! Straight to me, and you’ll be out of the flames!”

With his constant voice to follow, the Parasect emerged from the flames. She was charred, but still had plenty of fighting left in her.

And Mewdin was unable to continue the fire, so it died down.

The residue Leach-Life drained yet more energy from the already wavering Charmander. And with it, the burn marks faded from Mauta’s dæmon.

“Slash!” yelled the Gym Leader.

With the paralyzation from the previous blow spreading into his limbs, Medwin was unable to escape the Slash the bug inflected. And through great strain, the orange lizard hobbled away from another attack.

However, the Spore attack on her claws had kicked in with the most recent Slash, and Medwin fell asleep.

Luckily, the remnants of Smoke-screen wafted over his sleeping body, and temporarily concealed him.

For several moments, the large Parasect stabbed in vain into the dark plume in attempt to get the Charmander while he was down.

“Use this time for Rest!” instructed Mauta. Obediently, she walked into the corner of the Rec and settled down for a regenerating nap.

Although the two dæmons were asleep, Tiponi was still struggling to remain standing. Her pain had died down for the moment as Medwin slept, but she still felt sluggish, and Leach-Life was still sucking away at her energy.

The crowd was still noisy, and thoroughly distracting to the girl. Do to their presence, she didn’t notice the smoke clear and the Parasect awaken, until she heard the Gym Leader yell.

“Body Slam!”

Tiponi looked up at her poor dæmon as the gigantic opponent lunged into the air and crashed down upon him. The slam jolted Medwn awake, and sent Tiponi to the floor. She breathed heavily, trying with all her might just to stay awake. The force had left her bruised on the ground, and Medwin glossing over in red from his own blood.

“Again, Body Slam! Finish him off, Carm!”

Tiponi tried to brace herself, but the force of the second blow was titanic. Blood spurt from her mouth, and she choked on another mouthful as she tried to breath. Coughing hard, she again focused all her might on staying awake.


How could the underside of a Parasect hurt so much? Wasn’t it supposed to be the weak-spot of that pokemon?

With that thought, an idea came to her. Placing her hopes on that one thought, she managed to bring herself up into a sitting position. With this burst of motivation, Medwin struggled onto his feet as well.

“One more Slash should do it!” said Mauta. And it would too, if Tiponi’s plan didn’t work.

As the claw came swinging toward Medwin, Tiponi yelled through her blood splattered mouth, “Flutter!”

The Charmander instantly knew what she meant. He jumped over the bulbous appendage and ended up sliding under the large bug.

With her last shred of voice left, Tiponi yelled “Flamethrower!”

Medwin let out a large burst of fire directed straight at Carmelita’s underside. Tiponi had been right: the underside was a parasect’s weak-spot. And Mauta’s dæmon was rendered immobile through her pain. When she tried to escape the flames, Medwin just grabbed hold of her legs and kept a continuos fire flaring.

At last, the flame took her out, and she crashed down upon the Charmander, and immediately fainted, as did Mauta. However, the orange lizard was crushed underneath her.

For several moments, the judges debated on who had one the match.

But to surprise them all, Medwin crawled his way out from under the Parasect. And through shear willpower, he crawled over to Tiponi, who was still on her knees, and into her arms.

It was there, that the Quartz pair finally fainted.

The crowd was quiet for a pause that seemed to last forever. And then it hit them, someone had actually beaten Mauta, the seemingly impossible to beat Gym Leader. They roared in applause, jumping out of their seats in excitement.


In the days to come, the City Organizer announced her victory, and Mauta bequeathed upon Tiponi’s Quester Parchment a stamp, his signature, and recognition for her well earned win. It was only when she had fully recovered from the battle that the events of the match came flooding into her consciousness. She had won. Tiponi, the Dæmon League Quester, had just won against Mauta, the unbeatable Gym Leader of Swarm. And despite all the throbbing pain, it felt great.

[mr_pikachu]

Whew! What a match! It may have been short, but it was well done. Very exciting! :biggrin:

As usual, I loved your use of setting here. The battle, obviously, was great, and the references to the gym leader's family were also done pretty well. The mental conversations between Medwin and Tiponi seemed natural, and the combat situations were clear. Very nice work!

However, there were quite a few issues in this chapter that needed to be resolved. I seriously considered trimming them to include only the most important points, but since you've said numerous times that you want and appreciate all the advice you can get, I'm going to go ahead and post everything I noted. I'm sorry if this is too much; I can cut it down a little if you'd like. Anyway, here were the things I saw.


The afternoon sun poured into the well furnished room.

(well furnished/well-furnished)


I strong wind rattled the room’s window.

(I/A)


Realizing where he was, he sat up, and gazed upon Tiponi.

Delete the second comma.


“How did I get back-,” Ekad began to say.

Using the dash to indicate a cut-off point in the sentence negates your need for a comma to close the quote.


“I had help.” Tiponi cut in, to answer his unfinished question.

Ack! Remember, you can’t end a quote with a period if the sentence continues beyond the quote!


He lowered his head and the room became silent once more. The two shuffled around restlessly. Medwin shattered the silence with his voice.

This could be really tense, but instead it’s quickly ended with three short, choppy sentences. Draw it out a little!


“She’s a baker. Couldn’t you guess? She hasn’t been on for long, though. Before baker, she was an Herbalist. Before that, a Farmer. Before that, various assistants. She’s been a Craftsman, a Carpenter, a Quester, you name it. She just can’t take one job for too long, you know? But I think she may settle down as a Baker. Well, Baker’s assistant, actually. She works for Morcades.” Ekad said smoothly.

You began by having “baker” be lowercase. Then, every job after the first half of the fourth sentence was capitalized (including “Baker”). You need to have continuity in your terms. Also, you again ended a quote with a period when the sentence continued beyond the quote.


Tiponi thought for a moment. She had heard that name somewhere before. Medwin caught it before she did.

Hmm. Again, short, choppy sentences really don’t do much for the tension here.


“She is half Mom’s age, but she is very talented at cooking.” Ekad responded.

Once more, you can’t end a quote with a period when the sentence continues.


“Morcades is Matchi’s older sister.” blurted out Anata.

See previous comment.


This news shocked Tiponi. They hated Matchi so much, yet his older sister was renowned. Tiponi couldn’t make sense out of it.

Again, short sentences don’t work well in this sort of contemplative situation.


“It’s odd that Morcades is accepted, but her brother...is not.” she said, trying to understand how the people of Swarm thought.

Again, you ended the quote with a period when the sentence continued further.


“I guess so,” said Anata, “They are in a family of 8 children.

Two separate quoted sentences cannot be put in a single overall sentence. In this case, the comma after “Anata” should be a period. This will fully divide the separate quoted sentences.


“No one knows what went wrong,”

Now, if the sentence does not continue beyond the quote, then you can’t end it with a comma; the comma should be a period here.


He rose his head.

The word “rose” describes something making itself move. However, in this sentence Ekad is described as a separate entity from his head. Therefore, the word “rose” should be something more like “lifted”.


Ekad, seeming convinced, led the troop out of the room, and they headed to the Swarm Gym.

Hmm. Ekad seems more perceptive than that to me. I don’t think he’d be fooled that easily.


There walls of finely polished wood enclosing the arena.

Is this supposed to be “There were walls of finely polished wood…”? If so, then you need to make the changes, as this does no make sense syntactically. (Also, that adjustment would make the sentence very passive, thus weakening it. It might be best to simply rework the whole sentence.)


The shear size of the building was intimidating.

(shear/sheer)


Turning in surprise, the two realized that the sound was the large door shutting.

It took me a minute to figure this one out. The door closed on its own, right? If so, it’d probably be good to explicitly state that. Adding something like “on its own” to the end would suffice, I think.


“Class doesn’t start ‘till sunset, you’re too early,” He said in a strong voice.

“He” is a pronoun. Since that word doesn’t begin the sentence, it should be lowercase.


“And I need to allow them time to fill up the stadium, now don’t I?” he said, nonchalantly.

The second comma only serves to break the smooth flow of your sentence.


The outsider couldn’t think of anything to say. Even Medwin, who had diarrhea-of-the-mouth, couldn’t think of a word to say.

First, the phrases describing how they were both speechless are redundant. Second, using a phrase like “diarrhea-of-the-mouth” in narration is very risky, as it’s highly informal. Even doing it in first-person narration would be iffy. If you want to use that, it would probably be good to attribute it to someone else (as in something like “Even Medwin, who Tiponi often said had “diarrhea of the mouth”…). That makes it sound more appropriate.


This was much different from what they were used to.

You can’t use “from” here; a word like “than” would be better. I don’t know exactly what rule applies here offhand, but I am certain that those words don’t match up. I believe that “from” and “than” are different types of words, like an adverb and an adjective, or something, but I can’t be sure without looking them up. And frankly, I should be studying for exams right now.


A pale, trembling, statue.

Second comma, begone!


Ekad had been right, she was not prepared for this.

“had been” is slightly more precise, but it weakens your sentence. I think, aesthetically, that “was” would be better here, despite the small chance that it could be misinterpreted. Also, you may want to change “was not” to “wasn’t” in order to make it more concise. Unless you’re planning on lengthening this with an adverb or two; then you might be able to make this sentence draw out the tension instead of being very matter-of-fact. Finally, you can’t use a comma to connect two complete thoughts without a conjunction. You could add a conjunction after the comma if you wanted to, but in this format, changing it to a semicolon (or a period) might be better.


The stadium was now full to the brim with Swarm residents, eager for a gym battle.

The stadium was eager for a gym battle? You need to make sure that the eagerness is attributed to the right noun. There are many different ways to do that, so you should probably find one that works for you.


Not to long ago, her and Ekad had been telling anyone they could find that there was going to be a battle.

The first “to” should be “too”, and “her” should be “she”.


Ekad had tried to warn her of this, but she was not prepared at all.

This is at least the third time you’ve used the word “prepared” in this context. Try to mix it up with a synonym or two.


Mauta has a record of 241 wins and 9 loses.

First, “loses” should be “losses”. And second… 241-9? It’s a wonder anyone even tries Questing… O_O; (And no, that second point is not a criticism. I think that the number of people who win badges in the Pokemon anime is exaggerated, anyway.)


‘Never been more prepared.’ Medwin thought snidely back.

…You can’t end a quoted thought with a period if the sentence continues, either. The rules work the same way for thought as for dialogue.


Amidst the thunder, Mauta tread into the arena, with his giant Parasect close behind.

You can delete the second comma for the same reasons I’ve stated a few times above.


Tiponi could barely hear the rules and regulations being spoken, because she was too busy planning with Medwin.

No comma.


She handed over her Questing permit when called to.

You really aren’t supposed to end a sentence with a preposition. If you can reword this, it’d probably be good to do so.


‘I think we’ve been hit with Stun Spore, Leach Life, and Spore,’ Tiponi communicated to her dæmon.

(Leach/Leech). This same homonym switch was made several times later, but I’ll just note the first instance, as I really should be studying.


“Smoke-screen!” acknowledged various people in the stands.

(Smoke-screen/Smokescreen)


And Mewdin was unable to continue the fire, so it died down.

(Mewdin/Medwin)


Do to their presence, she didn’t notice the smoke clear and the Parasect awaken, until she heard the Gym Leader yell.

First, (Do/Due). Second, there should only be one space between “she” and “didn’t”. Third, you can delete the second comma.


The slam jolted Medwn awake, and sent Tiponi to the floor.

(Medwn/Medwin), and no comma.


Blood spurt from her mouth, and she choked on another mouthful as she tried to breath.

(spurt/spurted), (breath/breathe)


Wasn’t it supposed to be the weak-spot of that pokemon?

(weak-spot/weak spot). No dash.


Tiponi had been right: the underside was a parasect’s weak-spot.

Again, (weak-spot/weak spot).


When she tried to escape the flames, Medwin just grabbed hold of her legs and kept a continuos fire flaring.

(continuos/continuous)


At last, the flame took her out, and she crashed down upon the Charmander, and immediately fainted, as did Mauta.

Delete the third comma. Also, this sentence is a bit long; it may be good to break it up into two (or more) separate sentences.


For several moments, the judges debated on who had one the match.

(one/won)


And through shear willpower, he crawled over to Tiponi, who was still on her knees, and into her arms.

First, (shear/sheer). Second, the end of the sentence is a little jumbled with the references to Tiponi mixed with references to Medwin. You may want to work with this sentence to make it clearer.


It was there, that the Quartz pair finally fainted.

No comma.


And then it hit them, someone had actually beaten Mauta, the seemingly impossible to beat Gym Leader.

First, the first comma is grammatically incorrect, as you can’t connect the complete thoughts on either side of it with a comma in the absence of a conjunction. Second, “impossible to beat” is a little weak; what about something more like “unbeatable”?


Still, this was great. Although this chapter could have used some more editing and refining, it still worked well. I'd wait a lot longer than a couple of months to see a chapter like this. Great description overall, and nice action scenes. Despite the quantity of notes listed here, I can certainly see a vast improvement in your writing abilities over the course of this fic. If I hadn't, then I wouldn't feel comfortable with giving this much advice. But since you're working hard on improving your writing skills, I think it's more than worthwhile to make a few extra comments here and there. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to your next chapter. Until then!


P.S. A two-month wait? Amateur. Until you can procrastinate away half a year, you're not even in my league.

[eevee-shayna]

I'm glad you liked the match! I'm not used to writing them, so I figured 3 pages in Word was a good length for a battle. And as for all the grammer faults; as I stated, I gave Rose a break and took a shot at editing myself. I can see that my dislexia effected that a bit, but I'll just try to get better at grammer and such.

As for 241-9, I figured that it would make sence for the City of Swarm. After all, there is a large population, and they all aspire to be Questers. There's an unofficial rule in Swarm that they won't challenge any other gyms, until they've defeated Mauta. so everyone tries and tries again.

Again, your notes are much apritiated. and I do read through all of them, and try to correct the chapters when I can get around to it.

And congrats on your Mod-ship, Sensei!

I hope I'm not taking too much time from your studying..

Half a year? I could never make you all wait that long!

One note: The begining of the climax of the story is about 5 chapters away. All the hints I've been leaving around will start to be answered soon. If you think there's action in the story now, just you wait..

[eevee-shayna]

it's been awhile (no, i haven't given up on this fic, it's still my pride and joy). anyway, no, i don't have the next capter at the moment (rose is procastinating the battle that's in the next chapter). but we did just record a new version of Leaves, so if you want a better version to listen to, here it is.

http://k.1asphost.com/Eeveeshayna/leaveswrosefinal.wav

Merry Christmas, Happy Chanuka, and Happy New Years to all!

[eevee-shayna]

Alright, I stared at rose for a few hours and watched her type the battle for this chapter, to make sure she would at last get it done, so your wait is finally over! Unfortunately, this isn't a great chapter, since it's just transition between sagas, but it's here! More chapters will follow (and faster). Anyway, enjoy.

hapter 38


"Tiponi, you sure you remembered everything?" Cauda yelled, stuffing loaves of bread into a worn cloth sack.

Tiponi held up her pack and said, "I've done enough wandering in the past few moons to know where all my possessions are. Yes, I have everything."

Medwin stood in front of his human and held up a pair of glasses.

"Everything?" he queried.

The girl snatched the glasses and placed them hastily on her nose.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to these," she said, with a hint of annoyance.

The room was filled with excitement. The residents of Cauda's apartment moved around in a chaotic stir. They had spoken of it the night before, after they had returned from the battle, and all the arrangements had been made.

Ekad burst through the door carrying a large bundle of furs in his arms. He waddled into the center of the room, then dropped them in a heap onto the floor. Everyone turned their attention to him and, as appropriate to the city they were in, swarmed around the pile.

"I was able to get a good amount with the prize money." Ekad said.

Tiponi had received a generous sum of money from winning the battle with Mauta. It was plenty enough to keep her stable for a while. Ekad had pointed out that furs would be needed if she was venturing into the mountains, especially since she was going during the cold season. Looking at the pile, Tiponi noticed something.

"Ekad, don't you think this is too many furs for one person? It may be that cold in
Boulder, but I don't think I'd be able to stand with all this on." Tiponi said.

Ekad gave her a sly little grin.

"You're not going to wear all these furs; I'm coming with you," Ekad said.

The troop stood, silenced by the news. Should Ekad go with Tiponi? It hadn't been arranged.

However, Cauda was used to her only child leaving on little explorations through the forest that enclosed Swarm. Thinking of this, she spoke.

"If that is what you want to do, then I don't see why I should stop you. However, it is Tiponi's choice if she wants company on her Questing journey." she said.

They all turned to Tiponi, waiting for her answer. She stood still, and silent, toying with the thought in her mind. But before she could respond, Anata piped up.

"If Ekad and I are with you, then we could show you the way through the forest. We guided you through the forest from
Hot Springs. Besides, if you went on your own, you would be wandering around for weeks," Anata said.

Tiponi gave in to their request. After all, they had a reasonable argument.

"Alright, you can come. But you'll have to let me make my own decisions once we leave the forest. I don't want help," she said decisively.

"Agreed," said Ekad, smiling widely. The sullen silence was once again replaced by noisy excitement. Ekad turned to cupboards and commenced to fill his pack.

As Tiponi waited for Ekad to finish packing, she picked through the furs. An unpleasant aroma wafted from them, but there was no doubt that they would be sufficiently warm. She was separating her furs from Ekad's when the girl heard her hosts exchanging their goodbyes.


"I'm all packed," said Ekad. His voice was coming from the kitchen. When Cauda responded, her voice also originated from the kitchen.

"Off for another adventure. I used to be like that, you know. I met my best friends on my travels as a Quester. And," she hesitated, "your father. Looks like your taking after both of us."

“I know," came Ekad's response. He seemed to have heard this story before.

"Well," said Cauda in the fashion of a mother giving up her child, "I know that you are capable of looking after yourself. Please be careful. And come back to me, okay, hun?"

Tiponi could hear Cauda giving her son a motherly kiss. A few moments later, the two emerged from the side room and joined Tiponi in the main room. Cauda handed Tiponi the sack of breads, which she promptly packed along with her furs. Ekad packed his furs as well. Soon the Questers were weighed down like pack animals, but they were strong and excited. A new adventure was about to begin.

Cauda and Ekad exchanged a few more hugs, then let the teenager go. Ekad's mom was soon a waving figure in a doorway at the end of a bridge.


Tiponi and Ekad were like birds at dawn. They chirped gleefully as they set off into a new horizon. The walk through the forest passed in no time as they exchanged pleasant conversation. The trip reminded them of their previous forest walks. It felt like home, and it felt right. They spent the hours of hiking talking about plants, pokémon, battling, strategies, Legends, Legendaries, and Their Meanings, and a whole stream of verbal ping-pong. Tiponi felt so happy.

As the sun rose on the third day of their journey, they were met by a surprise. A girl appeared from behind a thicket of bramble surrounding several tree trunks. She looked slightly older then Tiponi. Her face was mouse-like. She wore her hair short, about earlobe length, and had it in small pigtails on the sides of her head with a thick row in the back that was too short to be in the pigtails. Her dæmon was a corn-yellow Pikachu. She greeted the two wanderers enthusiastically.

"Hi Ekad!" she said, obviously already knowing Tipni's companion.

Tiponi remembered that Swarm was isolated and everyone knew everyone.

"Hey Imadoki. You out here training again?" Ekad responded.

"You bet!" Imadoki said.

She looked at Tiponi, then smiled.

"Say, would you like to battle with me? You must be an Outsider, 'cause I've never met you. And after all, the reason why I'm out here is to battle Outsider Questers. So what do you say?" she said. Her Pikachu's cheeks shimmered with sparks; he was clearly itching to get in a battle.

Tiponi could not refuse.

"Do you know a good spot?" Tiponi said.

"Of course! And in's only half a day's walk from the outside of the forest." Imadoki squeaked.

"Then lead the way." Tiponi responded.

In no time, they were set up in a crude makeshift Questing arena and ready to battle. Ekad held on to both girls' Questing permits, and then signaled for them to start.



"Freeze 'im, Tanpopo!" Imadoki briskly called. The Pikachu was already on all fours and dashing across the field. At his human's words, he circled around Medwin's side and fired a wave of electricity at his foe.

Tiponi remembered hearing about Thunder Wave once. Don't let that touch you, it'll make it hard to move, she thought to Medwin, then called, "Charge!"

Her dæmon unquestioningly ran straight towards his opponent, and thus directly toward the arc of electricity that zoomed over the ground towards him like ripples on a pond. Just before it reached Medwin, Tiponi said, "Flutter." The Charmander leapt up and let the electricity pass under him, then hit the ground running and kept heading straight for his foe. He swung his claw out for a mighty Slash…

"Divide and conquer!" cried Imadoki, and a moment later Medwin's claws passed through the air where Tanpopo had been a second ago. The electric pokemon had used Double Team to split into two identical images of itself which stood on either side of his previous location.

The twin Pikachus zipped off in opposite directions , then circled around to come at Medwin from his left and right. Medwin ran back and forth experimentally, and watched the pokemon adjust to his movements. So he stood still and watched them approach. Tiponi saw a grin creeping across his face and decided to let him try whatever it was he was apparently planning.

Seeing him stop, they picked up speed and their cheeks began to spark vigorously. When they were just feet away from Medwin, Imadoki realized the danger and began to call, "No, stop, you'll---"

At that moment Medwin jumped straight up and fired a Flamethrower directly beneath him. The startled Pikachu had no time to stop and plowed straight into it. His fake copy disappearing the instant it touched the flames, but the real one was engulfed in them.

Nice one, Medwin! Tiponi thought to her dæmon.

Oh, I'm not done yet he replied wickedly.

As the smoke cleared, the pokemon was seen to be a bit charred and clearly dazed. Nevertheless he glanced determinately around the field for his opponent. He only realized he had failed to look up when the Charmander landed heavily on his back, stomping down with the weight of his body and the force of his fall instead of any actual attack.

After a pained gasp as all the air was pushed out of his lungs, Tanpopo managed to scoot out from under Medwin with a Quick Attack. He zoomed away to what he considered a safe distance, then stopped and panted as he warily regarded his opponent.

"Optical," Tiponi said, curious to see what other tricks the electric pokemon might pull. Mediwn obediently shifted his stance and watched his opponent carefully.

"Storm," Imadoki called, causing Medwin and Tiponi to tense up expectantly. Much to their disappointment, Tanpopo simply fired a volley of Thundershocks at Medwin, which he skillfully dodged.

I bet you could do that better, Tiponi thought to Mediwn, then called, "Firestorm!"

Determined to end the match with a bang, Medwin first breathed out a Fire Spin and let it surround the Pikachu. Then he fired of his own volley of attacks; a rain of Embers that pelted Tanpopo.

Much to his surprise, the yellow pokemon charged boldlythrough the vortex of flames at top speed, sparking furiously with electricity as he went. He plowed his electrified Quick Attack straight into Medwin's stomach, but a quick Slash from Medwin finished him off. Twin thuds were heard in the field as the Pikachu and his human fell to the ground, unconscious.

At the completion of her third victory in three days, Tiponi felt confident about any challenges that awaited her on her journey.

[mr_pikachu]

Ah, it's good to see this fic updated again!

This was pretty good for a transition chapter. While the beginning wasn't all that exciting or surprising, you were smart to add a battle into the mix. I really liked few specific bits at the start, as well, like Tiponi's problems with glasses and the "unpleasant aroma" from the furs. It's good to see Tiponi progressing on her journey again, and I think it'll be all the more interesting with Ekad around. But what about the rival for Tiponi's affection? I have a hard time believing that we've seen the last of Matchi...

I did see a few things that I thought could have been done a little better, though. So, as usual, I'll show you what I mean...


hapter 38

Yes, this was a transition “hapter”. You’re right about that.


"Everything?" he queried.

It’s good that you’re trying to liven up your fic a bit, but “queried” is a little too unusual of a speech descriptor in my opinion. It just takes too much attention away from what Medwin is saying. While they may seem dull, words like “said” and “asked” at least don’t draw the reader’s focus away from the important stuff. If you still want to spice things up, trying adding something along the lines of an adverb (i.e. something that ends in “ly”) to the end. That way, the reader’s attention is still on the characters and their manner of speaking, rather than just an unusual word you chose.


They had spoken of it the night before, after they had returned from the battle, and all the arrangements had been made.

This is a little vague. At this point, you haven’t yet directly stated that Tiponi is leaving, so “it” could just as easily be a disco party as our hero’s departure.


He waddled into the center of the room, then dropped them in a heap onto the floor.

Since there is no subject after the comma (in this case it would have to be either “Ekad” or a reference to him), there shouldn’t be a comma at all. You could also consider changing the word “then” to something else, although that really gets into aesthetic opinion.


It was plenty enough to keep her stable for a while.

Maybe it’s just me, but the word “stable” just sounds a little out of place in this context. Another word might be better, but I’m too tired to think of any examples right now. (It’s well after 2 in the morning where I live…)


"Ekad, don't you think this is too many furs for one person? It may be that cold in
Boulder, but I don't think I'd be able to stand with all this on." Tiponi said.

This sentence skips to the next line, as you may or may have noticed. Even though it may look correct on whatever text processing program you use, the sentence still shows a problem on TPM. Be careful of hitting Enter instead of Space!


The troop stood, silenced by the news. Should Ekad go with Tiponi? It hadn't been arranged.

Okay, a few things here. First, the word “news” kind of contradicts the following sentence. When I usually think about “news”, at least, I think of something that has been confirmed. If the question of Ekad’s joining the adventure is not yet resolved, then it doesn’t seem to fit the definition of “news”. Another word might be better. Second, the second sentence is in the present tense. And third, the word “arranged” also seems a little unusual; maybe something like “discussed” would be better? After all, it sounds like the idea hadn’t even been considered, much less contemplated.


We guided you through the forest from
Hot Springs.

Formatting.


"Looks like your taking after both of us."

(your/you’re)


Cauda handed Tiponi the sack of breads, which she promptly packed along with her furs.

In my experience, at least, the plural of “bread” is usually just “bread”. No “s” is necessary, methinks, even if the loaves happened to be different types of bread.


Cauda and Ekad exchanged a few more hugs, then let the teenager go.

This makes it sound as if Cauda and Ekad let some other teenager leave. Be careful about who you are referencing.


She looked slightly older then Tiponi. Her face was mouse-like.

These two back-to-back sentences are very short and choppy. It might be better for the pace to combine them into one sentence.


She wore her hair short, about earlobe length, and had it in small pigtails on the sides of her head with a thick row in the back that was too short to be in the pigtails.

Well, first, I think you need to add something like “at” after the first comma. That clarifies what you mean by “about earlobe length” by explaining that the hair is “at” that spot on her head. Second, this sentence is a little long; it might be good to split this one into two. Always be aware of the length of your sentences and how well they make the fic flow.


"Hi Ekad!" she said, obviously already knowing Tipni's companion.

Who’s Tipni?


Ekad held on to both girls' Questing permits, and then signaled for them to start.



"Freeze 'im, Tanpopo!" Imadoki briskly called.

I noticed a few earlier points where two blank lines (rather than one) in between paragraphs signaled setting transitions. (At least, I think those were transitions, rather than extra lines mistakenly added…) Remember to be consistent with your formatting. Also, the comma in the first sentence is problematic, as there is no subject given after it.


The Charmander leapt up and let the electricity pass under him, then hit the ground running and kept heading straight for his foe.

Like before, you need a subject after a comma when it is used in this way.


Oh, I'm not done yet he replied wickedly.

As mentioned in previous chapters, you need a punctuation mark to close quotes, even if they are given in italics as thoughts. A comma or an exclamation point might be good here.


I bet you could do that better, Tiponi thought to Mediwn, then called, "Firestorm!"

Do you mean something more like, “…then she called…”? You could also forego the comma altogether and say something like, “…before calling…” in that spot. Oh, and who’s Mediwn? Is that Tipni’s dæmon?


Then he fired of his own volley of attacks; a rain of Embers that pelted Tanpopo.

The semicolon should be a colon here. A semicolon divides two thoughts, but a colon allows the part preceding it to reference the part after it.


Much to his surprise, the yellow pokemon charged boldlythrough the vortex of flames at top speed, sparking furiously with electricity as he went.

(boldlythrough/boldly through)


But really, even with these things, you still did a pretty good job with a tough moment in the fic. It's never easy to write a chapter when its entire point is to move from one part of the story to another, but you handled it pretty well under the circumstances. Your work in developing your characters is really paying off here, and I wouldn't be surprised if you're able to reap even more rewards from that. Anyway, good job with moving this along. I look forward to seeing how this will continue. So, I'll see you next chapter!


P.S. "Half a year? I could never make you all wait that long!"

...

...

Now I feel guilty... *runs off to write*

[eevee-shayna]

... three months is not half a year. I still made my scheduel (with thre months to spare, no doubt).

Anyway, there are two chapters in between the next battle, so those two will get posted without delay, but chapter 41 might be stalled.

onto another teran, a new saga, and furthering of the plot and characters!

Oh, and Pikachu Sensei, I put that chapter up sometime after 2am where i live. Who needs sleep? i've got coffee! well, not really. but i do have chocolate..

[Samchu]

Sweet chapter Eevee! I liked it very much. It's good to see you finally have the freedom to get down to some good ol' writing like we know you love to. I can't wait to see what's going to happen before the next battle and hopefully Ekad must survive a little longer than the last male to join Tiponi.

[mistysakura]

Hey, didn't see the update until now. This was a pretty good chapter, and it's good that Tiponi's moving again. The battle was worth the wait; I really like the tactics, the fact that everyone uses codenames so you don't know what's coming. It adds a lot of suspense, especially with Storm, which worked well because you held off telling the full effects until the end. I wish the fic as it is now was linked more to the previous chapters and plots though, like whatever was happening with Etchemin, and the people who killed his brother, and the mystery of Tiponi's mother. Especially since it's a fic and not a book, i.e. it's posted over a period of time, it would be good to remind readers of unfinished plots and stuff. Also gives a nice sense of continuity to the fic. I guess that's all going to happen once Tiponi's left the shelter of Swarm though; back to the real world where questers aren't welcomed, and all the problems will begin again.

P.S. Kitt and Katt's coming along great, I'm a closet reader.

[eevee-shayna]

Glad you're enjoying TDLQ! Hopefully the next chapter will be up this weekend, when i have some spare time. it gets better from this point on. Since this is a His Dark Materials crossover, I like making it different from just pokemon, like Tiponi and Medwin being able to read eachother's minds. they have the downfall of feeling eachother's pain, so that conection might as well give them the benifet of connected minds.

I kinda had those plots sink from view, so when they resurfaced, they'd be more of a suprise. of course, now that i mentioned it, it won't be as much as a suprise, but since you mentioned it..

Glad to know Kitt and Katt has more readers! thanks for reading it! You know, the big difference between my two fics is that TDLQ is completely planned out, and K & K is made up as we (Samchu and I) go. Different writing styles are always fun.

[eevee-shayna]

i haven't abondoned this fic, i swear! i've just been really busy, with all my school work, FFA, clubs, AP examines and SATs coming up, and stumbling upon a boyfriend (which, considering the chapter i'm about to post, is kind of ironic. but i wrote this chapter sometime last year). so i finally finished chapter 43. and i decided i wouldn't put up this chapter until i wrote 43. but now you (finally) get to see Tiponi and the gang on their way. enjoy.

Chapter 39


It was the end of the third day, and the travelers were just exiting the Swarm forest. They were half a day off schedule, because they had stayed with Imadoki until she had recovered. Imadoki said she was going to return to Swarm after she had given Tiponi money for beating her. Tiponi and her traveling companion were walking straight into the sun as it was setting behind the mountains.

"How far are we away from Boulder?" Tiponi asked. She walked beside Ekad, as she had for most of the trip. They were both strong from all their training and were able to endure long walks like the one they were on.

"About four days walk. If we don't encounter any more Questers, that is," Ekad said.

They looked around at the scenery, which was quite beautiful. The trees, which were scarcer now that they were out of the forest, were scraggly, yet their odd twists made them all the more astounding. The ground was spotted with brambles and scrawny bushes, with a thick blanket of green and tan to coat the ground beneath.

Tiponi's words reminded Medwin of another time, long ago, when his human had uttered the same sentence. They had been much less mature, more weak, and new at the sport that they were quite clueless about. It was as if they had gone in a circle, and this time around, the circle was bound to bring new adventures.

The Charmander laughed to himself. And maybe the next time around the circle, when Tiponi repeated those words further down the road, he would consider himself an amateur at this moment. Who could tell, but the future itself? Maybe life was just a pattern of circles, and each time you came around again, you'd get another chance. Medwin felt determined to take a swipe at that chance every time around the bend.

As Medwin thought all this, Ekad and Anata were also busy thinking. Ekad pulled his hand through his hair, letting locks separate between his fingers. The hair sprung back to it's former position once his hand left. Ekad turned to Tiponi.

Feeling his presence focused on her, she looked up to meet his gaze. Her hair spread over her shoulders and was tinted with red from the sun that dipped into the mountains. She was vibrant, a true daughter of Moltres.

Ekad swallowed.

"Tiponi. Umm. I've really enjoyed your company for this past while," he began, shaky and nervous. His cheeks flushed with pink, or maybe it was the sun tinting his skin. Tiponi remained quiet and drank in his words. Seeing that she was not speaking, he continued to talk.

"Tiponi, being with you has been the best thing that's ever happened to me. I can't tell you how much meeting you has meant to me. I mean, you've really added some color to my life."

Tiponi's silence was defining, despite the loud noises of nature. Her face was stone, except for the red sun mirrored on her skin.

Nervous, Ekad tried to salvage the moment and continued to speak.

"I think the reason I came with you instead of staying in Swarm is, well, I can't see myself without you anymore. It's just that, I don't know, I guess I've gotten used to being around you all the time, and I can't think of my life before you came into it. It's like I've always been with you, and I don't want that change. I just..."

Ekad stopped. He seemed to have trouble finding the right words. Tiponi lowered her head. She had never heard these words directed toward her, and she wasn't sure how to act.

Ekad took in a deep breath and laid it all on the table.

"Tiponi, I just wanted to know if you wanted to be with me," he said.

He breathed in sharply and held his breath, as if his whole world depended on Tiponi's response.

Tiponi had been quiet to this point, but she knew that she had to say something now. What could she say? What did she have in response to what he had just told her? Sure she enjoyed his company, but Tiponi could remember a time, many times, before Ekad. All of the other towns and cities, the people she had met, the adventures she had encountered. All of that had happened without Ekad.

Still, what did any of that mean? Ekad was confessing his love, and asking if Tiponi loved him. And if she would love him forever. What did the past have to do with love?

The past haunted her, teasing and taunting the girl with the memory of a certain boy with long hair and a thick accent. The past certainly mattered in the issue of love, and it was teaching her a thing or two.

Anata walked closely to Medwin, rubbing her graceful, spindly legs against the Charmander's side. There was unmistakable emotion in her movements.

Medwin, Tiponi pleaded mentally to her dæmon, how do I feel?

Medwin responded quickly by thinking back, Truthfully, I can't stop thinking about Mesi, but you do what you want?

Tiponi took the words to heart. She knew that she liked Ekad, but not as deeply as the boy hoped. The silence was overwhelming and the pressure for her to speak was immense. She took in a hasty breath and finally responded. Her speech was slow, as if treading unsure footed.

"Ekad. I really don't know what to say. I mean, I do enjoy your company, and traveling with you. And I am eternally grateful for all you have taught me."

"But..?" said Ekad, sorrowfully.

"But I don't want to be with you in the way I think you want. I really do want to travel with you, but as...friends," Tiponi said.

Ekad seemed to choke at the word "friends", as if it were the worst thing she could have possible said. He let out the breath he had been holding. The exhalation of breath was clearly the sound of his world coming crashing down. Tiponi had done no better then slapping him in his face or stabbing him in the back. He had exposed his heart, and Tiponi had stomped all over it.

"I'm sorry," Tiponi said, a pleading note in her voice.

But Ekad wouldn't hear of it. Anata broke away from Medwin, and they walked with quickened steps on the path.

Tiponi felt awful and tried to compensate.

"Is there anything I can do?" she said, her voice filled with concern.

Ekad glanced up, revealing his glazed eyes.

"Yes. Could you take it back? Take back your words?" he asked.

The girl bit her lower lip, then shook her head.

"I can't do that. My heart and soul have spoken. I can't," she said in a cracked voice.

Ekad and Anata looked at Medwin. The girl's soul looked back at them, though his usual fiery glow was dimmed.

"Is this true?" Anata squeaked to the Charmander.

Medwin said plainly, "I stand by my human."

A tie that bound both parties was slashed by the words and left severed, leaving the frayed end flapping in the cold wind.

The sun was now gone, and the two walking silently into the dead night.

[mr_pikachu]

Hey, congrats on finding a boyfriend! I hope things go well with you two.

Anyway, this was an interesting chapter, and despite its shortness, it sure seems like a critical point in the journey. Great use of emotions here, and awesome job with the metaphors and description. (The "frayed end" of the tie was particularly strong.) The actions were revealing as well, like the interaction between Anata and Medwin, and the change of the pace at which the two parties walked.

There were a couple of things on which I did want to comment, though...


It was the end of the third day, and the travelers were just exiting the Swarm forest. They were half a day off schedule, because they had stayed with Imadoki until she had recovered. Imadoki said she was going to return to Swarm after she had given Tiponi money for beating her.

So, is Imadoki still with them and waiting to pay up? It’s a little confusing, since you never did say that the money was paid or that she went back to Swarm.


They were both strong from all their training and were able to endure long walks like the one they were on.

Be careful not to end your sentences with prepositions like “on”.


Who could tell, but the future itself?

No comma.


Tiponi's silence was defining, despite the loud noises of nature.

I have a feeling that you mean “deafening” instead of “defining” here. The latter could also work, I suppose, although I’m not exactly sure what it would mean.


The sun was now gone, and the two walking silently into the dead night.

(walking/walked)


To be honest, I really don't have much left to say. This was a short chapter, and yet you did well to fill it with emotion and meaning. The events shown here could really impact the quest in the near future. It'll be interesting to see exactly how you use the rift that has suddenly appeared between Tiponi and Ekad (as well as between their dæmons). I'll look forward to it! Until then!

[eevee-shayna]

just finished chapter 44. an interesting one, it is. anyway, you're on 40, and so it shall be posted for you.

thanks for your comments, as always, pikachu-sensei.

Great use of emotions here, and awesome job with the metaphors and description. (The "frayed end" of the tie was particularly strong.)

^heh. thanks for the praise, but i must admit that particular example was inspired by the line "Is that what you call a get-a-way, well tell me what you got away with. 'cause you left the frays from the ties you severed when you say best friends means friends forever" from the song Seventy Times 7 by the band Brand New. Wanted to give credit where credit is due.

And now, on to Boulder!

Chapter 40


The four day walk to Boulder was not a pleasant one after that fateful night. That's not to say the journey was scornful and detesting. It's just that the trip had lost it's spark, it's liveliness; as if the new and fresh idea of adventure was worn out, used, and covered with dust.

The relationship between Ekad and Tiponi seemed to have changed as well. Ekad seemed to have lost his excited glow. And Tiponi could not act giddy and friendly around him without being painfully aware that he loved her and wished to be with her. As for their overall relationship, the connection they once had was cut, and who knew how much mending it would take to fix that.

As they approached the new terrain of hillside and rock, the path became steep and difficult to handle. The tough climb made talk impossible, as breath needed to be salvaged for more important uses. It was just as well, because the two had very little to talk about, in contrast to their nonstop chatter prior to the defining affair.

Tiponi couldn't help but think that the trip might be better without Ekad. It was a mean thought, but there was reasoning for why it had nested into her mind. She thought that it was nice to have someone around for pleasant company. But at his state, he wasn't pleasant company anymore. So what was he? A friend? An ex-lover that never was? Tiponi did not understand their relationship anymore, and it caused a cloud of confusion to hover between them.

At some times during those days, Ekad would show a spark of his old self when he found a plant in the area. He would point it out, name what it was called, where it commonly grew, and what it could be used for. At those times, Tiponi could feel the cloud lift, and they were two friendly people. But once the moment was gone, the cloud would return between them; like a fence, walling in their feelings and walling out each other's friendship.

Finally, through the rugged wilderness of rock and brush, came the much sought-after town: Boulder. The closer they got, the more the two realized that it was not like the other towns. Boulder was built into the side of the mountain. Buildings made of sun-baked mud and sand were rooted into the mountain side. The smooth, tan buildings were stacked on top of each other, like a large staircase. Wooden ladders propped up from roof to roof connected them in a tangled mass of doors and connecters not unlike Swarm's. In various patches of non-built-on land were deep pits.

"Boulder is known for being a mining city. Ninety-Five percent of the
Mineral Mountain's gems, rocks, and minerals are mined from this city," Ekad said.

Tiponi glanced at Ekad, then looked back at the scenery. The dried-mud buildings had a certain charm to them but they seemed to let out a sweltering heat that made the air quiver and distort the dusty background.

Tiponi started to walk to the city's foot and was about to ask what they should do next, but she stopped herself before the words pushed through her mouth. Previous words snuck into her mind. Words about not wanting help. Tiponi pushed the words she was about to utter down her throat, and continued to walk. After considering the circumstance, she spoke.

"We should find the local Gym Leader and avoid any contact with any Anti-Questers," she said confidently.

Ekad nodded in agreement. The pair and their dæmons wandered over to the closest ladder. Although Tiponi had no idea where she was going, she climbed up the ladder as if she had done so a million times. The wooden rings, smoothed by years of use, and the building side with sandpaper walls were unfamiliar to her, but looking at the girl you'd never know it.

"If we keep climbing we will eventually meet someone, and if not we will at least be able to see the entire city from the top. We will decide what to do when we get there," she said in a flawless tone.

In mutual agreement, the troop climbed. Heat pulsed out of the sun-soaked buildings and engulfed the climbers. With each rung their hands touched, a watery imprint of their hands was left and quickly licked away by the heat.

Beads of salty droplets popped up simultaneously along their bodies, as if their sticky skin had been sprayed with a gush of lake water. Despite the conditions, they continued to climb the never-ending ladders in hope of finding what they were looking for.

Tiponi thought of how the weather had been chilly in Swarm, and how drastic the change had been to the humid, blazing climate they found themselves in. A cool wind blew by; it teased her and made her long for the colder temperatures she had previously encountered.

Staring at the dry wall in front of her, the girl began to think about how the heat came to
Boulder. Although it was the cold season, the dry mud walls were able to soak up the sun and emit heat all day. The sun didn't affect Swarm as much because there was nothing to soak up the sun and the trees shaded most of the city anyway.

They were half a dozen ladders high when they decided to take a break. Sitting in the shade of a building, they passed around a water bottle. Once they were refreshed, Ekad began to talk.

"Do you know the history of this city?" he asked.

Tiponi thought about it, than said, "A little. We were taught about Boulder in school. I know it's a mining town, and that's why it was formed."

Ekad nodded

"Correct," he said, "Boulder was first discovered by Yotsubato Boulder. Have you ever heard of Boulder Jewels?"

"Oh, yeah," said Tiponi, remembering the well-known company.

Ekad continued, "Well, he was exploring Wingspan Mountain and he stumbled upon a cave that had all sorts of precious metals and rocks. He immediately began a business. Soon, word of the mine was spread through the Mineral Mountains. People from all over quickly hurried to the new town of Boulder, and all of them had dreams of riches and better lives. It was known as the Boulder Rush. Through the crowd of people, a city was swiftly born. Buildings were needed, so the miners made them out of the earth they dug up while mining. After all, it needed to go somewhere and the sparse trees that grow around here were needed for the mines. They were used to make shaft rails, support beams, and handles for the tools. Boulder has been thriving ever since. Right now, half of the residents are in the mines doing what they do best, and the rest are at home tending to the homes and whatnot. Or in school, depending on their ages. That's why we haven't seen anyone yet. The sun is at the top of the sky. People won't be coming out until the sun is behind the mountain."

Ekad wiped the sweet from his brow and said, "I don't blame them."

Tiponi thought for a moment, then said, "All that to get rich, huh? Why do people want coins so much?"

Ekad gave the question some thought before he answered, "I can see why you would ask. If coins were empty plates of metal that were passed around, then they wouldn't mean anything. However, Mineral Mountain coins represent a certain amount of land - I believe a square foot per coin - so the more coins you own the more land you own. And land is the most sought after treasure."

Tiponi nodded. The explanation made perfect sense. After a moment, she stood up.

"We should get going," she said.

The party rose and continued up a ladder, repeating the slow process of one rung at a time.

The sun had made good progress in crossing the sky by the time the group of travelers reached the top of the last ladder. Standing right next to the building edge was a nervous looking woman. She had short, finger-nail long hair, and tanned skin that was the color of the buildings. She looked like she was in her 40's. She held a large pack and suitcase and a Lunatone slightly larger then her head floated around her in anxious circles.

Remembering her plan from earlier, Tiponi walked up to the woman to speak to her.

"Excuse me, Ma'am, but would you happen to know where the Quester Gym is?" Tiponi said in her most polite voice, though she was out of breath and her enthusiasm had melted away in the heat.

"I-I must go," the woman stuttered hurriedly. As soon as Ekad had his feet planted on the ground, the woman took hold of the ladder and began to hastily climb down. Her dæmon floated next to her as she descended.

The two teenagers stared at her, then at each other. Without any exchange of words they began to follow the woman down the ladders they had just finished climbing.

"Ma'am, wait!" Tiponi yelled between labored breaths and climbing.

Medwin tried his luck and said, "We're Questers, we just want to know where the gym is."

That caused the woman to stop. She looked up at the team pursuing her, then the woman climbed down the last few rungs and stopped on the platform.

"Questers you say? Show me your permits." she said.

They reached the platform and Tiponi dug through her pack. When she revealed her parchment the woman became less tense.

"I'm sorry for my behavior," she said. Tiponi put away her permit and put the back on her back.

The woman continued, "It's just that, well, it's not safe to be one of us anymore. You know?"

Tiponi looked puzzled.

"What do you mean?" the girl said.

The woman fidgeted and glanced at the buildings bellow.

"With the banning and all," she said, "And now I really must get going. They'll be out of the mines by the time I get to the bottom."

She began to walk toward the next ladder, but Tiponi stood in her way.

"What ban?" Tiponi said.

The woman reached into her pocket, pulled out a crumpled piece of paper, and thrust it at Tiponi. She then bolted to the ladder and resumed her downward climb.

The puzzled girl smoothed out the paper.

"Read it aloud. I can't see it from her." said Anata from the ground.

Tiponi read, "Attention Mineral Mountain residents, after much consideration and have decided to permanently ban the sport of Questing. After resent events I have realized danger imposed. Anyone found participating in this sport shall face the severe consequences. By order of Quester Champion Mr. Cleac."

She looked up from the paper in utter shock. She and Ekad stood frozen for a long moment, until they heard the scurrying steps of the mysterious woman. Without discussion, they climbed down the ladders after her.

They were chasing for many ladders until Medwin yelled, "Who are you?"

The woman stopped and looked around. Seeing no one else around, she looked up at the Questers.

"The Boulder Gym Leader. And I suggest you stop stopping and start moving, because we don't want to meet up with them once they get out of the mines."

She looked up. The sun was quickly approaching the mountain. The woman continued to climb down.

Tiponi, Ekad, and their dæmons had no time to discus. Knowing they would lose the Gym Leader if they stopped, they continued to chase after her.

After climbing with great haste the whole time, they finally reached ground. All the travelers wanted to do by the end of that climb was bathe in cool water and take a three-day-long sleep. However, they might as well dream on, because it wasn't going to happen. The miners were pouring out the mine, like a swarm of ants crawling out on an anthill.

Seeing the miners, the Gym Leader broke into a run to the scrawny trees for protection. The Questers had no choice but to bolt after her. Once they were a good amount away from the city, they found the woman sitting behind a large thicket of trees and brush.

Red-faced from the run, the woman looked at her followers.

"What do you want?" she asked.

Tiponi paused at the words. It was a good question: what did she want? Why had she been pursuing this poor woman? Fortunately, Ekad answered for her.

"First, we would like to know your name," he said through deep breaths.

"Very well. My name is Jade Boulder. But now you must tell me your names," she said. At the mention of her name, Tiponi noticed the woman had brilliant green eyes.

"I am Ekad, and this is Tiponi. And did you say Boulder? As in-"

"Yes, as in the famous Yotsubato Boulder and the Boulder Jewels. I'm a descendent, of course. Twenty-fifth generation, actually."

Feeling a little more comfortable, Ekad and Tiponi sat down next to Jade.

"If Yotsubato founded Boulder and you are the twenty-fifth generation, that means the city is around two thousand years old." Ekad said, after a quick calculation in his head.

"That's right," said Jade.

"And you said you are the Gym Leader in Boulder?" piped up Medwin.

Jade hesitated and gave a disconcerting look before saying, "Yes. And soon to be removed from the position."

Tiponi and Ekad sat comfortably next to hear. They leaned in to hear her words.

Jade continued, "You see, the whole thing with Questing has Boulder in a buzz. This city has both anti- and pro-Questers, so we've been on edge between both sides. Still, the law was for us and they couldn't do anything about it. However, now that Questing has been banned, the law is for them. I mean, if I was mysteriously found dead they'd be able to twist the law and get away with lynching. It's too risky for me to be here, so I'm escaping to Swarm."

They were quiet for a while, thinking over the situation. Finally, Tiponi spoke.

"I want to battle you," she said. All heads turned toward Tiponi in disbelief, including Medwin's.

"What?" questioned the Charmander. The others were on the verge of repeating him.

"Questing is on the verge of being banned, the Mineral Mountains is being torn in half, and I haven't come all this way for nothing. Jade, I want to battle you. I've been cheated out of one fair badge already, and I will not let it happen again." she said. Confidence was reflected from the girl's face like sunlight off water.

Ekad was the first to recover, and immediately voiced his opinion.

"Tiponi, with all this chaos and the Mineral Mountains being unsound, you want to battle? How could that be your only concern?" he asked, astounded. Tiponi reviewed his questions. He did have a point asking why, in this odd moment, she had the urge to battle. She found it odd herself. There were more important things to worry about. Yet, deep down the girl found herself aching to battle this Gym Leader, as if something was telling her that this was the correct concern. If she had learned anything from her whole journey of questing, it was that a Quester always goes with their gut feeling. And her gut feeling wanted a battle.

"I understand, but we must battle. I know it. We need to," she said.

Her determination was uncanny. And her mood was so fierce, that the idea started to sound right even to stubborn Medwin. Jade could not reject the girl's whim. But that's not to say she was still weary.

"Tiponi, where would you propose we battle, if we are even able. None of the residents of this city must know of it. If it is in my Gym, they are sure to stop us. If it is out here, they will be able to spot us. After all, the town is on a mountainside, and there are few trees in this area. We'd be like a stage.And it's too far to journey to the forest. I can't see how this would work," she said.

"Maybe," spoke up Jade's dæmon, "Maybe if we battle in the caves. At night time, no one is in there. And it's been mined so much that there are full size rooms."

The idea nestled its way into their minds and planted itself firmly. The longer they thought about it, the larger in grew, until it was an idea so giant that it could not be overlooked.

Still fully confident, Tiponi spoke up.

"The mines it is, then. We will leave when the stars come out," she declared.

And before anyone could argue it, the plan was set and ready to be put into action.

[mr_pikachu]

Woohoo, another chapter of TDLQ! :biggrin:

I think you did a good job managing the new difficulties between Tiponi and Ekad. You made a good point to note that it's hard to say exactly what you'd call their relationship; I would think that would be more confusing than anything else. It was very interesting how you showed the end of their journey to Boulder with just Tiponi and Ekad. I was actually expecting it to be more like the two of them walking with Medwin and Anata being like little children and bugging them, but this made more sense. After all, since they are the incarnation of their respective souls, I doubt they'd want to talk then, either. Nice work with handling that.

Still, I do think you might have overlooked a few things this time around...


That's not to say the journey was scornful and detesting.

Was it the journey that wasn’t scornful and detesting, or the travelers?


It's just that the trip had lost it's spark, it's liveliness; as if the new and fresh idea of adventure was worn out, used, and covered with dust.

Okay, a few things here. First, “It’s” is a contraction that means “it is” rather than “it was”. So the first word of the sentence is in the present tense. The later “it’s” should actually be “its”. Remember, “it’s” is a condensed version of “it is”, while “its” is the possessive form of “it”.

Also, the semicolon would be better as a comma, as the passage that follows is a direct continuation of the earlier thought (almost like a list). This is not to be confused with the later part of the sentence that is a list based on the first part after the semicolon, however… @_@;;

…Maybe this would be better broken up into separate sentences. Either that, or today I’ve stayed up just a little too late. Early. Same thing.


"Boulder is known for being a mining city. Ninety-Five percent of the
Mineral Mountain's gems, rocks, and minerals are mined from this city," Ekad said.

Be careful with the formatting; it looks like you accidentally skipped a line here.


Tiponi thought of how the weather had been chilly in Swarm, and how drastic the change had been to the humid, blazing climate they found themselves in.

As a rule, you can’t end a sentence with a preposition. In this context, “in” falls into that category. You might remedy this by ending the sentence with something more like, “in which they found themselves,” or something like that.


Staring at the dry wall in front of her, the girl began to think about how the heat came to
Boulder.

Again, watch the formatting.


Ekad nodded

…Where’s the period?


"Correct," he said, "Boulder was first discovered by Yotsubato Boulder."

This doesn’t appear to me to be one sentence. If the two quotes passages are separate sentences, then you can’t connect them with commas. In that case, you’d want a period after “said”.


"I can't see it from her." said Anata from the ground.

First, (her/here). Second, the period at the end of the quote should be a comma, since the sentence extends beyond the quote.


Tiponi, Ekad, and their dæmons had no time to discus.

(discus/discuss)


However, they might as well dream on, because it wasn't going to happen.

Watch your tenses. If you divided the sentence between the part before the second comma and the part after that comma, the former portion would be in the present tense.


The miners were pouring out the mine, like a swarm of ants crawling out on an anthill.

Another rule about prepositions is that you can’t have one right before another. In this case, “out” and “on” are both being used as prepositions. The easiest thing to do would be to simply get rid of one or the other. Which one to keep would just depend on which one best suits your description.


"Very well. My name is Jade Boulder. But now you must tell me your names," she said. At the mention of her name, Tiponi noticed the woman had brilliant green eyes.

This is mostly an aesthetic point, but it seems like the note about the woman’s eyes would be better if it were placed immediately after the mention of her name, with the rest of the quote following that.


"If Yotsubato founded Boulder and you are the twenty-fifth generation, that means the city is around two thousand years old." Ekad said, after a quick calculation in his head.

First, the period at the end of the quote should be a comma. Second, you don’t really need the comma after “said”. In fact, that makes the phrase after it a fragment since it isn’t a complete thought on its own.


Ekad was the first to recover, and immediately voiced his opinion.

The part after the comma is a fragment. However, here you can’t simply remove the comma, because that would create other grammatical problems. It might be best here to just include another reference to Ekad after the comma; the pronoun “he” would fit fine. So saying something like “…and he immediately voiced…” would give a subject upon which the latter verb could act.


If she had learned anything from her whole journey of questing, it was that a Quester always goes with their gut feeling.

“goes” is a present tense verb.


But that's not to say she was still weary.

…So, she was no longer hesitant about battling? I think you forgot the second part of the double negative. Do you mean something more like “…that’s not to say she wasn’t still weary”?


We'd be like a stage.And it's too far to journey to the forest.

Whoops, you need a space after that first period!


But this was still solid overall. I liked the introduction of Boulder's Gym Leader especially well; it's especially interesting that she could be thrown out of a town which her ancestor founded. Then again, there could easily be dozens of Boulders living in the town after 2,000 years... Good description overall, too, especially in regards to the weather. And excellent revelation at the end about the region being in chaos over Questing. All in all, I liked how you conducted this chapter. Even though it was mostly a transition point, you still made it intriguing. Nice job! Anyway, I'll see you next chapter!

[eevee-shayna]

Hi Pikachu-Sensei! Thank you, as always, for pointing out the gramatical errors in my work. Other people might find it pesky, but I find it really helpful. especially now, sinve in the begining of May I;m taking the English Language AP exam, and SATs two days after (and Comparative Politics and American Government the following week, but they're not as relevent), so this is helpful for me to get more knowledgable on grammer.

Glad you're enjoying the story. The plot starts to get really good at this point (or I think so at least). I don't get to indepth with Boulder, so you don't get to meet the people except for Jade. But the point I'm trying to convey is how significant Questing is and the problems it causes in the society of Mineral Mountains. Questing is tearing the Mineral Mountains apart, which is a huge occurance. Jade is just one more example of this. She is a direct decendent from the founder of Boulder, yet the skism is so strong that she is thrown out. This conflict will become more evident further on in the story.

Of course, with all my tests coming up, first I need to get time to write more. Rigth now I have the break, but still, study study study. bleh. I still love this story, can't wait to make it complete. It will happen, just not soon.

[eevee-shayna]

AUTHER'S SIDE BAR:

hectic. so hectic. it's my fault for taking on so much i suppose.

Monday i had an AP test (English Language), Saturday i have SATs, and Tuesday i have two AP tests (American Gov and Comparative Politics). and last week was the Banquet for my FFA Chapter. it's a huge deal and lots of planning. i got a total of 21 hours of sleep that week. i was rather dead, to say the least. but it's all almost over! wednessday, you're almost in view! if i could, i'd sleep for a week. that would be nice...

Don't know when i'll get around to the next chapter. sometime. i know, at this rate this story will be done sometime when i'm in college (i'm a junior in high school, just in case i haven't mention that). and i started TDLQ when i was i middle school... that's kind of pathetic. oh well. after writing the scene were huck's raft gets crashed into by the steam boat, Mark Twain waited 2 years before returning back to finishing huckleberry fin. so i'm not too bad. i haven't had a 2 year intervault.

well, that's the smidget i shall post for now.

[eevee-shayna]

Time for some grave digging. Now that I'm in a new environment that's less cluttered and has better vibes, it's time to resurrect this old fic of mine. I just moved into college at the beginning of this week, and I might be just a freshman, but I can already feel the Maine atmosphere's refreshing affect.

I suppose for awhile I had surrounded myself with too many obligations. Then I broke up with my first ad last boyfriend, and did not feel like writing a story with heterosexual relationships for a looong time. But I think I've done a lot of independent growth during my break, and I'm ready to write this again.

This fic is very important to me and I am determined to finish it. I started it back in Middle School, and now I'm starting college. I've grown a lot through writing this story - both as a writer and as a person.

I might have killed my fanbase by taking such a long break, but at this point I'm just writing this for me. Thank you Rose for the battle, and without further adieu, I present Chapter 41 (which just happens to be my favorite number):


Chapter 41

"Tiponi, this idea is absurd," came a harsh whisper from Medwin.

"Oh hush, it'll be fine. Just keep walking until we reach the room," responded his human.

It was the arranged time, and the crew were making their way through the tunnels. Jade's Lunatone's red eyes glowed in the pitch dark. The Charmander's tail lit the passageways, revealing wooden supports framing the earth walls. As they walked, the tunnel seemed to get darker and more secluded; the perfect hide-a-way for a battle.

When they arrived at the make-shift arena, Medwin aided Jade in lighting some torches scattered around the room. The light was low, but enough to see the space.

Ekad took a stick and engraved a Rec and Rim in the ground. He stood in the doorway and the two women stood in their respective spots.

They hastily went through all the pre-battle ceremonies, before Jade said, "Ready? Let's go."

"Not quite," interrupted Tiponi. Jade paused in confusion.

Tiponi responded to the gym leader's blank look by saying, "Before a battle, I need to meditate."

Jade was shocked, but Ekad understood perfectly. He nodded in approval, and before Jade knew what was going on, Tiponi was cross-legged on the floor with her eyes closed. Medwin joined Tiponi. His tail flame dimmed as he concentrated.

All Jade could do was watch as the girl and her Charmander sat perfectly still for what seemed like ages in the dark cave. The girl had a face of complete concentration, and yet, total calmness. On the outside, they looked like they were doing nothing, but in truth their minds were busy at work.

At last, Tiponi and Medwin simultaneously opened their eyes and stood up. They walked to their respective areas.

With complete determination and confidence, Tiponi looked at Jade and said, "Ready."

Jade nodded slightly in acknowledgement, then called "Adular, Cosmic Power." Her Lunatone began to emit a silvery glow, as if he was emanating moonlight.

Since she was not familiar with that attack, Tiponi called, "Optical." Medwin obediently started moving around the field as if being evasive while carefully observing Adular. Since they only had one shot at this battle, they had agreed that it would be better to learn more about what their adversary first, instead of attacking recklessly. They were a bit puzzled when the glow faded with no other visible effect, but they had learned when something like that happened, the opponent usually had powered itself up somehow.

Whatever that was, we should probably keep him from doing it again, Tiponi silently commented to Medwin, then called, "Firestorm."

Medwin quickly spat out a rain of Embers, forcing the Lunatone to go on the defensive. He weaved in and out of the falling mini-fireballs with surprising agility. Despite his maneuvers, a few flames scored hits, but they left no mark on his rocky body and he seemed unfazed.

Flames and claws aren't going to hurt him as much as usual; he's a rock pokemon, observed Tiponi, remembering one of her lessons back in Swarm.

We'll have to wear him down with strategy, agreed Medwin.

As they conversed, Jade took the chance to say, "Nightmares." Immediately Adular's eyes began to glow. In an instant, Medwin was beset by wave after wave of drowsiness.

It must be Hypnosis; I guess "nightmares" is a strategy. Tiponi though anxiously, then called, "Quick, Cause and Effect!" Medwin shook off the feeling with great difficulty, then began to release a Fire Spin. But the Adular did not let up his attack, and in moments the Charmander fell over, overcome by sleep. His attack was only half-formed, and the Lunatone had no trouble floating out of the fiery vortex, which soon dissipated.

As Tiponi desperately called for Medwin to wake up, both mentally and verbally, her opponent hovered closer and began to glow once more. This time, Medwin started to glow as well, and then a part of Medwin's glow detached itself from the pokemon and floated over to Adular, who absorbed it. At the same time, Medwin shuddered in his sleep and Tiponi felt a small wave of pain.

"That was Dream Eater, wasn't it?" Anata asked her human as they watched from the sidelines. Ekad just nodded silently, trying to stay neutral, but his eyes betrayed his worry for his friend.

Adular began to glow again as he repeated the attack, but Medwin shuddered once more, then opened his eyes.

"Flamethrower!" Tiponi called hastily, as she mentally told Medwin which direction to fire the attack. He half-sat up and fired the stream of flames in the appropriate direction, and Adular, surprised by how quickly his opponent had recovered, failed to dodge in time. With his opponent occupied, Medwin had time to stand up and steady himself, all the while producing a continuous stream of flame. As soon as he was up, he reattempted the failed Cause and Effect strategy.

As the Fire Spin began to surround Medwin's foe, Jade called, "Rock Throw!" Adular stayed still among the swirling flames, but the field did not. Loose rocks that were strewn about the area began to rise, and soon threw themselves at Medwin. He hastily finished his attack and dove to the left to avoid the first rock, then ducked, dodged and jumped to evade the rest. He was clipped a couple times by near-misses, but avoided serious injury. Meanwhile, Adular had stayed within the fire, shifting only to stay inside the very center of the flame tornado, where he was the least hurt.

Tiponi watched the Lunatone, suddenly wondering how it was able to float like that. The Rock-types she had seen all walked, rolled, or slithered along the ground, and most pokemon that she had seen floating either had wings or were really light. Then again, there were also…

As soon as Adular's attack subsided, Medwin began to complete the next part of his interrupted strategy. Hold on, Tiponi interjected, he's not trying to leave, so there might not be a point in using Smoke Screen.

It'll still throw off his aim! Mediwn retorted. He began puffing out clouds of smoke anyway.

No, Medwin, I think he's... she tried to continue hurriedly, but she was interrupted by Jade's voice.

"Confusion," said the Gym leader. Instantly, Medwin's head was assaulted by a dizzying blast of Psychic energy, and he was forced to break of his attack to clutch his head in pain. Tiponi also staggered and clasped a hand to her forehead. Then the mental assault was over, and both panted tiredly.

...Psychic, Medwin said weakly, finishing Tiponi's sentence. And he could just target psychicly, so he wouldn't need sight, he continued, finally realizing what Tiponi had been trying to say. He allowed the thin cloud of smoke to dissipate, since it was no longer needed.

There was no time to rest. "Charge," Tiponi quickly called. It may not do much, but she needed to keep them on the defensive if possible. Medwin obediently dashed forward through the wall of flames, then leapt up and Slashed at Adular.

Medwin's claws barely scratched the stone pokemon, but the force of the attack combined with Medwin's momentum threw him back just enough to be tossed into the flames behind him. Seizing his chance, Medwin blew a blast of flames at his foe so that he was totally surrounded by fire. Tiponi made a mental note to remember that combination as Adular hastily floated backwards out of the spinning fire wall and to the side to avoid Medwin's fresh attack. This time he looked slightly singed.

"Cosmic Power," Jade called again, and the Lunatone once more began to glow.

Stop him! Tiponi mentally screamed at Medwin, though he hardly needed to be told. He leapt at his opponent again to deliver another Slash, more as a distraction than anything. But the moon-like pokemon simply took the hit and calmly finished his attack. Slightly frustrated, Medwin swung his other arm at Adular to deliver another Slash. To his surprise, the rock pokemon briefly shone like a newly polished stone just before his claws hit. Immediately it was clear that his opponent had used Harden, since the strike had hurt Medwin's claws and appeared to hurt Adular even less than usual.

Medwin barely heard Jade utter "Psywave," before he was blasted back from the close-range attack. He tumbled along the ground, too dazed by the psychic blast to land on his feet. Tiponi desperately tried to come up with some kind of strategy, but she was very dizzy from the mental attack, too. Medwin shakily tried to climb to his feet as Adular began to hover closer.

Flamethrower, she called quickly, trying to at least stall. But Medwin showed no sign of having heard, and only finished climbing to his feet. Medwin? she tried again, but the Charmander only shook his head, as if to clear it. It took her rattled mind a moment to think it through, which wasn't made any easier by the distracting buzzing in her head, but eventually she realized that the psychic attacks must have disrupted their mental link for a moment.

Meanwhile, Adular had thrown itself at Medwin in what appeared to be a Tackle. Suddenly Medwin was no longer wobbly (Tiponi wondered if he had been faking it) and he dove to the side, blasting a Flamethrower at the passing Lunatone. Adular stopped himself before he crashing into the ground, and instead turned to face Medwin before retrying the attack. Medwin shot another Flamethrower square in his face, with enough force to hold the rock pokemon back for a few tense moments before he used a burst of psychic energy to force himself through the flames and crash into Medwin.

Tiponi felt her head begin to clear, and hoped that meant her link with Medwin was returning. Try to grab onto him and use Scary Face, she instructed, testing the link. It clearly worked, since Medwin wrapped both his clawed hands tightly around the pointed nose-like protrusion in the middle of the Lunatone's crescent-shaped body. Then he glowered straight into Adular's closest eye.

Make it a Stand and Fright, Tiponi said, eager to make the most out of the attack. Medwin flared up his tail flame to maximize his frightening appearance, and Growled menacingly while he continued to use Scary Face. Abruptly he let go and blasted his foe with Flamethrower, throwing the Lunatone far back.

Tiponi had been focusing solely on the battle, but now she spared a quick glance at Jade. The Gym Leader's face was a mask of stern concentration, and she stood firmly, apparently undaunted by the clash in front of her. Only a thin sheen of sweat on her brow betrayed her anxiety. "Psychic!" She abruptly barked.

Medwin's head exploded, or at least it felt like it, and it was all he could do not to scream as he collapsed to his knees, clutching his head tightly and squeezing his eyes shut. Tiponi mirrored him, since she felt every bit of the agony he was going through. After what seemed to be an eternity, the violent storm in their heads eased, then disappeared. Tiponi's hands dropped to the ground, and she leaned on them as she took deep gulps of air. Medwin opened one eye and dropped his hands to his sides as he slowly rose to his feet, though his face clearly showed that each movement still pained him.

"Let's finish this," Jade said, a trace of satisfaction and more than a little fatigue in her voice. "Avalanche."

Adular floated far back from Medwin, then began to glow with psychic energy. Again the many rocks in the room began to float upward, then they suddenly flew towards Medwin. He attempted to dodge, but he was far too slow to avoid the storm of rocks that rushed at him. One rammed into his stomach, another smacked his side, then he was being pummeled on all sides as rocks raced towards him with apparently single-minded determination to beat him down.

This was not the usual way a Rock Slide attack behaved, Tiponi noted tiredly. She suddenly noticed that each rock was surrounded by a psychic aura, which looked exactly the same as the one around Adular. So he was directing the rocks with his psychic power. Slowly her hands tightened into fists and she stubbornly stood up, shaking slightly but determined to stand tall. By now Medwin was completely buried in a pile of rocks, and it did not even wobble to show that he was still there.

Jade finally looked at Tiponi, triumph evident on her face. "This battle is over. Give up before you fall over."

Tiponi said nothing, just stared at the heap of stone that concealed her dæmon. She could feel Medwin there, trying to muster his strength to break free. Her face hardened into one of fierce determination. Her journey could not end here, not after all they'd been through. "No," she whispered as she, too, gathered together her fighting spirit.

"What was that?" Jade asked, having been unable to hear her.

"No," Tiponi said, more loudly. "No," She repeated, screaming this time, "it's not over until one of us faints! Cleave!" The last word she shouted as loud as she could, physically and mentally.

Jade looked surprised at the ferocity in her voice, and puzzled at the last word. Then her eyes settled on the pile of rocks in the field, which began to glow with the white light of Medwin's tail flame. An instant later it was blasted apart as the battered Charmander leapt up from the stone prison, his tail flared high with Rage. Instantly he shot across the room at Adular and attacked him with a flurry of Rage-powered claw swipes. The rock pokemon and his human were too stunned to respond, and he cringed from the constant assault. Medwin did not let up for an instant, attacking his opponent from every angle for several long moments.

Then Medwin paused just long enough to lift one hand high above his head. It gleamed metallic silver as he prepared a Metal Claw, then plunged the reinforced claws deep into the Lunatone's rocky side. The field was silent for a moment except for the roaring crackle of Medwin's tail flame. Then a loud crunching pop was heard as a shallow but nasty-looking crack opened in Adular's side, precisely where Medwin had last struck him. Jade looked horrified for a moment before she crumpled to the floor, followed by her pokemon.

Ekad smiled at the Charmander as he remembered how Medwin had learned Metal Claw, his battle-winning move. Ekad had been practicing various tactics with Tiponi when he had asked Anata to show her the one called "Fein," which involved using Night Shade to limit their sight while Anata used a more damaging attack.

Tiponi had been stunned that a bug-type could use such an odd attack. When Ekad had explained that the move was most often used by Ghosts, she was even more surprised.

"Could Medwin learn something like that, too?" she asked. "It would be really useful to know something besides fire and claw attacks."

"Hey, what's wrong with fire and claws? Anyway, I know Smokescreen and a few other moves, besides!" Medwin said indignantly.

Resisting the urge to chuckle at the fiery dæmon, he replied, "Some pokémon can learn attacks that are completely different elements from their own. Charmanders can't learn anything like Night Shade, but they do usually learn Metal Claw. It is a claw attack, but it involves making the claws as hard as iron." Medwin perked up a little at the thought of learning a different claw attack.

"I think it would be easiest for you to learn if you see it," Ekad continued. "Anata doesn't know it…"

"But the City Organizer's demon does," chimed in the Spinarak. "I'm sure they'd show you if you asked."

The Armaldo was indeed willing to demonstrate the attack for Medwin, who picked it up quickly. He enjoyed being able to slash at things that would have hurt his claws previously, and practiced the move by clawing at rocks until he could slice them almost perfectly in half.

Unbeknownst to Ekad, Tiponi and Medwin had remembered the same training. They'd noticed something else as well; some rocks tended to have a spot on them that would cleave the stone in two if it was hit just right. Knowing this, the pair had prepared a strategy to use against rocky opponents to see if it had a similar spot. The seemingly random rain of claw-swipes Medwin had used were designed to test the opponent to find a weak spot, which the Metal Claw then exploited.

Medwin stepped back from his downed opponent and panted as his tail flame shrunk to its normal size. Then he slowly walked back to Tiponi. She had sunk to her knees again, but not from pain; this time it was to hug Medwin. He rushed into her open arms and they embraced each other tightly, exhausted but very proud of their hard-won victory.

~~~

Tiponi sat silently many hours after the battle had ended. Her spirits had risen drastically due to her victory, and the grimness of recent events involving Questing seemed to melt away in her new born confidence. She had defied the ban. She had succeeded in amassing one more of the eight stamps, leaving only three more gyms to tackle. Danger and tension stared her blatantly in the face, and she just smiled back. It was as if this win, this hurtle, had secured her in a safe spot for the time being. Of course she was in grave danger if anyone were to find out about the battle. And it was obvious that her profession was threatening to her life, but none of that seemed to matter to her. In her state of ecstacy, it all seemed irrelevant, or at least something to be dealt with later.

For now, she and Ekad were on the outskirts of town, safely camped out enclosed by a thicket of vegetation, with the unconscious Gym leader accompanying them. After the battle, they had hurried out of the mines and sought a temporary haven while the party recuperated. Jade lay slumbering on a mat they had laid out for her with her dæmon posed to the side. And her own dæmon lay curled at her skirt in a little orange ball with a tender flame steadily glowing.


At last, the girl was able to join her companions in slumber. She placed her glasses in her pack before curling up comfortably in her traveling bed. Medwin only shifted slightly as she adjusted herself. The battle had worn him out and he was regaining some well deserved sleep, as did his human.

[eevee-shayna]

and so the journey continues...



Chapter 42

A rustle was sounded and Tiponi turned to see Ekad returning from hunting. In her state of bliss from the previous day’s battle, which perhaps had left her vulnerable, she was caught off guard. For, at that exact moment, when he emerged between two low branches, he looked just like Etchemin.

Maybe it had something to do with the dream she had awoken from that rainy morning, or maybe because she had not yet put her glasses on, but the idea still sent her in a frenzy. Why, after so many moons being separate from him, did this incident occur? The more she stared at him after that sensation, the more defining characteristics she could pick apart that made them not similar in the least bit.

And yet, that moment’s deceivence still lingered on her mind.

He prepared the breakfast as Tiponi busied herself with tending to Jade. The Boulder descendent awoke in time for breakfast and she kept partly conversing by recalling Tiponi’s battle and strategies. She seemed fascinated by the trainer’s unique style, as any gym leader would be, and wanted to pursue the topic further. Tiponi kept up her end of the conversation, but her mind wasn’t focused solely on it. She craved to understand her brain’s mind trick on Ekad. The thoughts plagued her so deeply, that Medwin finally asked for them to be excused for a moment. The company must have thought their departure nothing more than a trip to relieve themselves, and did not press the matter.

After exchanging a few words, Medwin said, “I know exactly how you’re feeling. It’s Etchemin, isn’t it? You miss him.”

Tiponi tried to deny the statement, but she stopped herself. Medwin was right. That’s why the thought was beleaguering her so much. It was because she missed the boy. More than she had realized.

The Charmander went on to say, “I can’t blame you. I’ve often thought of Mesi as well. She always left an impression on me, and I’m starting to forget the way her eyes glimmered when she laughed.”

Tiponi still couldn’t think of a word to say, though her mind was buzzing with recollections.


Her dæmon went on further by saying, “And I think the reason these thoughts have finally surfaced is because of our latest victory. I mean, before that your mind was full of apprehension, fear, confusion, and a million other worries. But now that you got a taste of victory, all of that has blown away and your mind can focus on the matters you temporarily put aside. Of course, I’ve been holding all those thoughts all along, but I guess your mind works deferent then mine.”

At last, the girl was able to speak.

“What should I do, then?” she asked.

Medwin didn’t miss a beat, “You know the answer to that. Either you face your feelings now, which will drive both of us crazy considering we’re not in any position to do anything about it, or you can go on doing what you have to do, keeping the thought on the edge of your mind, and confronting it when you have the opportunity to do so.”

He was right, of course, and Tiponi questioned the topic no further. They returned to the camp site and went on with their daily life as if nothing had changed. Although, as the Charmander had suggested, the thought lingered on the edge of her mind.

“So,” Anata inquired, “What is our next course of action?”

Tiponi had finished her meal and packed away her belongings, as had the others. They had even taken the liberty of stamping out their fire and erasing their signs of dwelling.

“Well,” she answered, “The most logical thing would be for us to go to the next town, Eyrie.”

The crew looked at her with puzzled looks, but the first one to respond was her very own dæmon accompanied by his attitude.

“Why?” he asked.

“Well, for one, it would be the sequential place for us to visit next. I am aware that Questing is banned, but that isn’t a reason for me to stop trying and quit my day job. I set out on this journey and I’m going to see it through, I don’t care what it takes.

“Furthermore, I want to see what the status of Questers is in the other towns. I know about the ones I’ve visited, but I can’t say anything for the last three. I’d like to know where we stand as a union, how many people are on our side. You know, about still wanting to Quest. I’m not giving up just because this Mr. Cleac wants us to,” she said.

Jade stepped forward to offer her opinion.

“Well, that’s fine and dandy for you, but as for me, I’d rather retreat for the time being. If it comes down to it, I’ll stand up for the Quester’s side. But until that time comes, I’m going with my original plan. You can find me in Swarm if you need me.”

They turned to Ekad, awaiting his decision.


“Well, I will stick with you, Tiponi. I said I wanted to come with you before, and I won’t back off from my word. And I agreed before we left that I’d let you make the decisions. If that’s what you want to do, I’ll go along as well,” he said.

That settled, it was time to set off. Jade took care of her Gym Leader duties in stamping and signing Tiponi’s parchment, then left with a few parting words. With an uncertain road ahead, the remaining two humans and their dæmons made their way to Eyrie.

In a few essential words they decided it was best not to go directly through Boulder, but instead go the long-about way around the city.

The trip was similar to the one they’d made to Boulder, except this time Tiponi had additional thoughts that kept her occupied.

The two townships were a three days walk apart. Those days passed uneventfully as they made their way further up the increasingly colder mountain. The additional clothing Ekad had bought back in Swarm became very welcome as the trail became steeper. The days slowly passed until they finally reached their sought after Eyrie.

[eevee-shayna]

And now time for some character abuse ^^


Chapter 43

“AhI don’ kno’ why their all mak’n such ah fuse, Questas are peop’l tu. Bes’ leave ‘em alone, an’ not fight, tha’s wha’ AhI say,” said a male voice.

Tiponi stood frozen in her tracks, unable to comprehend what she had just heard. Could it be?

“An’ AhI agree wit’ yu. Those protes’as are ge’ing ou’ of hand. Their jus’ as bad as killas,” responded a female voice to the first.

Now Tiponi was really at a loss. She and Ekad had just hiked up the snowy slope to Erie after their several day climb from Boulder. They had just stepped onto the summit where the town stood, when they had come across their first human contact since the previous town. As for Tiponi, she had met up with a strikingly familiar accent.

“Maybe we should avoid human contact, until we find someone safe,” Ekad suggested.

But Tiponi already felt safe around this unknown couple. Simply because their accent reminded her of a long lost friend, whom she admittedly thought a great deal about.

“They’re okay,” she merely said, then absentmindedly walked to the Eyrie residents.

Ekad was about to oppose her decision, but he stayed quiet when he remembered his promise to let her decide everything.

“Pardon me,” she said to them, but stopped when she realized she didn’t know what she wanted to say. Instead, she took a moment to observe the strangers she had approached. As the voices had entailed, there was one male and one female. Both had dark brown hair and eyes, which where characteristically rare in the Mineral Mountains, and Tiponi had only encountered ones with such features once in her travels. Both were heavily clothed, which was appropriate for their geographical setting.

“Wha’ coul’ we do fur ya?” asked the female in a friendly voice. Hearing that accent coaxed the girl to gain the courage to speak.

“I overheard you talking and...” she paused, choosing her words carefully, “And despite the obvious dislike for the sport, I’m not apt to give up Questing just yet. I know I may be scorned here as well, but at the very least, could you point me in the direction of the Gym Leader in this town?”

The two residents of Eyrie stared at the girl, seemingly scared to answer her inquiry at first. At last, male spoke up.

“Our communi’y ‘as been kin’er tu Ques’ers then some, bu’ I’s still dangerous tu display I’ so obvious’ly,” he said carefully.

“Neva-the-less,” the female continued, “We can’ tell ya wha’ tu du. So if ya chose tu go, I’s in tha’ derec’tion. Jus’ keep goin’ ‘till ya ge’ tu ah large buil’n a’ the end of town. The accompanin’ ‘ouse is where the Gym lea’er lives. But be warne’, Aren doesn’ wan’ anthin’ tu do wit’ the spor’ anymore.” Her words were accompanied by a point in the gym’s direction.

“Thank you,” Tiponi said, and she promptly followed the given direction, with Ekad and the Dæmons trailing close behind. For a moment, the two strangers looked like they were going to say something else, but then they relaxed and watched the seemingly brave girl walk past.

“Are you sure it was okay to do that?” Ekad asked her, when they were out of earshot of the two Eryie residents.

“What do you mean?” Tiponi asked cool-headedly.

“Well, do we know if they were to be trusted? I mean, it’s a dangerous place for Questers like us nowadays. I just think the less people we come in contact with, the better,” Ekad debated. He even looked at Medwin for support, but was surprised to see the usually quick-to-judge Charmander side with his human.

“I think they were trustworthy. There was just …something about them,” Tiponi said, still facing forward. Without another word on it, they walked silently through the town.

The crusted-over snow crunched under their animal-hide boots, and the icy wind blistered on the few skin-exposed spots on their faces as it howled by. It was early enough in the day so the town was mostly still asleep. All that exposed the evidence of inhabitance were the thin trails of smoke originating from smoke shafts on the residential buildings in Eyrie. Being so far away from the resource of trees, Eyrie residents had resorted to what they had; rocks, shrubs, and ice. The walls and ceiling were constructed from an assortment of rocks piled into the general shape of a building. The rocks seemed to fit perfectly together, so they were as sturdy as if they were one rock, and a layer of ice coated each building as well, sealing any cracks and reaffirming the sturdiness of the structures. Some buildings had thicker ice hulls then others, which Tiponi guessed was due to the age of the buildings. She also guessed that the icy winds of Eyrie piled up ice onto all surfaces over time, and the longer a structure had been up, the more time it had been exposed to the elements. The only surface that disregarded that simple concept was the top of the chimneys, which had heat constantly pouring through. The buildings seemed rather low from the outside, but presumably the ground was hollowed out underneath the ice and rock shell to keep in warmth. Many of the buildings were white topped from snow that had fallen.

They walked past these odd buildings, and eventually made it to the edge of the town, as they had been directed. As promised, there was a large, dome shaped building that was patterned like the rest of the buildings in Eyrie, a small accompanying house, and a vast flattened field besides.

Tiponi took a deep breath of the chilled air, and just as she stepped forward, she heard the sound of a multiple boots crunching by in the near vicinity. This time, the girl took her traveling companion’s advice and ducted behind a building, with the rest of her party close in her shadow.

They disappeared just in time, because a not-to-friendly mob of men stomped out from one of the houses and toward the unsuspecting Questing Gym. As one, they knocked on the door, causing snow to slide off from the top. Through the angry yelling that exploded from the group, a little girl’s head poked out from the door.

“Tell yer father to come out now and speak with us,” said a voice from the mob.

Before the girl could turn, her father appeared behind her.

“Leave my daughter alone. Now, what do you want with me?” he said with a strong voice. The girl hid behind her father’s legs.

“Yer time’s up as of today. It’s time for you to leave town.”

“First of all, the day is not yet up. Secondly, this was not agreed by the whole town, just a group of you,” the Gym Leader said.

A particularly dangerous looking man from the angry group spat at the gym leader’s feet. In a mocking tone, he said, “First of all, we who want you out are a significant amount of this town. Secondly, we’ll remove you from here by any means necessary. Don’t matter what everyone else thinks, we’ll still come after ya.”

“Besides”, added another voice, “You know what your Champion has passed, yer not wanted, not even by your own disgusting sport!”

The crowd cheered dangerously at the comment.

“The day is not up yet!” yelled Aren, “And you cannot push me out of my home!”

“We’re not letting you stay without a fight!” yelled one of the mob.

“And I will not leave my home without a fight!” the gym leader yelled back. And with that statement, he slammed his door shut.

The group of angry civilians knocked the door with fortuitous fists, causing all the snow to clear from the top of the building. Even the icicles began to crack off. But finally, with no avail, one of the men motioned for them to stop.

“Midnight, we storm him out!” he yelled. Then, with a yell that could penetrate the door, he announced again, “Ye’ hear? Midnight!”

With that settled, the group finally retreated.

Tiponi and her group stayed hidden until the group had left. In their silence, the four stared at one another.

“Well, hate to say it, but I don’t think we have a snowball’s chance in my flame to get your questing battle,” Medwin said.

“There has to be a way,” Tiponi said.

“Tiponi, I don’t want to butt in with your leading, but you’re dæmon is right. Listen to him, this isn’t going to happen,” Ekad said.

“I am not giving up,” Tiponi said with some force.

Ekad sighed. “Then what do you propose we do?” he asked.

Tiponi shook her head, and looked at the snow beneath her. They needed a place to stay, a way to avert the Anti-Questers, and a way to get the Gym Leader to agree to battling with them.

“Let’s just talk to him first,” Tiponi said, and she began to walk toward the gym.

“Why, Tiponi? You know it’s futile!” Ekad said behind her.

Tiponi spun around to face him. Her face was pinched, and red from the cold.

“I have to try, Ekad. I have to at least try!” She turned around again, and continued to walk to the building. Medwin followed close behind. Anata was a few steps behind Medwin, But Ekad lagged.

At the door, Tiponi knocked politely. After no answer, she tried again with a little more force.

“Leave us alone!” came Aren’s voice.

“I am not here to harm you! I am a Quester-” Tiponi yelled, but was cut off by the door swinging open.

Aren, a short man with a thick beard and mustache, stared at the girl at his door.

“Go home,” he said, “Questing is over.”

“But sir I must-”

“I said go home!”

He shut the door behind him, simultaneously closing the last door left in Tiponi’s hallway of choices in continuing Questing. It took her a long time, but with stinging eyes, she finally turned around. Facing her was Ekad.

“What do we do now?” he said quietly.

Despite her desperate wish to stay composed, Tiponi’s sigh came out shaky.

“Tiponi?”

“I don’t know!” she cried. “Let, let me think.”

She walked past him, despite his beckoning.

“We’ll be back here later,” Medwin said responsibly, then followed his fast tromping human.

Clumsily, the girl fled through the snow. Her mind was a mass of swirling confusion and hysteria. A few times she tripped through the thick drifts of snow, but she just stumbled upright and continued to slice through the chilly air ahead. She breathed heavily as she careened out of sight from Ekad and the Eyrie buildings.

The icy atmosphere affected her sight, but she continued to follow her path to nowhere. Despite the cool air the enveloped her, Tiponi’s mind would not clear.

Her stumbling, confused mind, and iced over glasses made her blind to all senses, which was why it was such a surprise when she bumped into a dark figure among the white.

She took off her glasses to see, and looked up and the figure she had run into.

“Tiponi?” said Matchi.

[eevee-shayna]

in celebration of my nominations in the Silver Pencil Awards, here's the next chapter. I really like this one, then again, i'm biased ><
enjoy!


Chapter 44

Tiponi was in an aura of chaos, and could not get a hold of herself or grip on anything. Without any will, she let the seemingly strong figure before her guide her to a grounded tent nearby. Once out of the wind and snow, he sat her down amongst warm furs, and gently slipped her ice crusted glasses from her chilled-red face. He set the glasses aside to melt clean, then wrapped a bundle of furs around her shivering shoulders. Medwin huddled close to his human. He was as oblivious as her.

“Tiponi,” Matchi said softly.

He brushed her frozen hair from her face, and let it swing to the side of her head. She projected a chaotic radiance. The tent was warm enough, but Tiponi continued to shiver.

“What’s happened to you since we were last together?” Matchi asked with sincerity.

Tiponi would not make eye contact. In fear of losing her to shock, Matchi continued to talk.

“A lot has happened to me since then. Truthfully, I followed you out of Swarm, but at the foot of Boulder I found my own path. That is, I met a man, who altered my course of action. Tiponi, you should come with me! He has plans for this forsaken land! And we could be a part of it! For the first time in my life, I feel like a can do something. Something different, something unique. And no one will ridicule me anymore. By his side, I’m going to accomplish all I’ve ever wanted!

“Tiponi, since the first moment I met you, I knew you were different. I knew you’d lead me to the path a craved for all my life, and that you’d share in my ideas. Back in Swarm, you were the only one who believed in me. Not even my so called friends really believed in me. They just followed me as rebels so they could feel tough and bully others. But that’s not what I’m about. No, I want more. I want to leave the monotony of this set life, and find something else. And by following you out of Swarm, I’ve found it! This man has big dreams, and he wants me to be a part of it! We’re here collecting our last needed items, and then we’ll be off to Glacier, the highest point in all of the Mineral Mountains. You’ll see, everyone will see! You could be a part of this, Tiponi! Join me! As a Quester, who’s forsaken by most people in this land, you should understand best that a revolutionary thing like this is the way of the future. A way to take rare information to change the lives of all people in the Mineral Mountains forever. Please Tiponi, come with me.”

At first, Matchi was unsure if his words had penetrated the girl’s frozen countenance. But at last, she began to show signs of comprehension. Her shivering turned into violent shuddering, and her frozen face became melted with a strong stream of tears.

“Tiponi!” exclaimed the concerned boy. He wrapped his arms around her, and felt the full force of her quivering body. Still sitting on the pelt covered floor, Matchi held her body close to his with one arm, and cradled her head to his chest with the other arm.

“Tiponi! Tiponi, what’s wrong? Please speak. Tell me what can do,” he said with full concern as he continued to cradle her shivering body.

“It’s too much,” Tiponi sobbed, “It’s too much! All that’s expected of me. I’m not that strong, I’m really not! All that’s happened, I don’t have the strength for it!”

Tisiw, the Vibrava which was Matchi’s dæmon, caressed Medwin’s side comfortingly.

“Tiponi,” Matchi said, “No one is expecting the world of you. Don’t feel so pressured. I know the anti-Questers have been cruel to you, more than I’ve ever known, but if you come with me, we can change all that! You’ll no longer feel threatened! You’ll no longer have to wander this land making hard decisions. I’ll take care of you, Tiponi. I swear I will. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. It was you who helped me see difference in this world. I’ll help you rediscover your strength. We could be good together. All you have to do is come with me, and I promise I will make everything easier for you.”

Tiponi didn’t respond, nor did she move from his embrace. She just buried her head into his chest and wept. With the howling wind outside the tent as the only other sound, Tiponi wept for all her pain, anguish, stress, and confusion. She was a weak girl, a long way from home, without a future in sight. Only knowing the present, which was still more of a blur than anything else, she cried until she had no energy left.

When she had at last exhausted herself, and could cry no more, Matchi placed a strong hand to the side of her face, and lifted her head so their eyes would meet.

“You had me on a limb, everything went dim,” he sang gently. With that strong hand, he wiped the tears from her cheeks. Tisiw cradled Medwin in the same gentle manner.

Matchi looked deeply into her lost eyes. He stroked her hair until her shudders finally subsided.

“Tiponi,” he said in a barely audible whisper.

“Matchi, what should I do?” she asked, hopelessly indecisive at that moment.

“Come with me, Tiponi, to Glacier. All your problems will be answered if you just come with me,” he told her.

Tiponi swallowed and blinked her damp eyes.

“But what about my stamps? My, my life as a Quester? My goal to find my mother? And…Ekad?” she asked in a weak voice.

Matchi stiffened slightly at the mention of Ekad, but calmed with one stroke of Tiponi’s tawny hair.

“Your stamps? I hate to disappoint you, but badges are no longer being distributed. A good goal for you in the beginning, for sure, but now they are obsolete and we have grander goals. However, if they mean that much to you, I will see if I cannot do all that’s in my power to retrieve your remaining stamps for you. As for your other goal, I will ask the sources available to me to find her, if it means that much to you. This man has power, Tiponi, we would be well off to follow him. And Ekad. Ekad has a home, a mother, and all of Swarm by his side. He lived before you, and he will live on without you. Do not dawdle on such trivial things. He is capable of taking care of himself, don’t you worry.”

Tiponi looked at her dæmon. She was too weak to speak with him mentally at the moment, so she would have to suffice with juggling her thoughts in her own unstable mind.

Matchi’s proposal seemed like a way out of her dead end, and was almost welcomed. In this hour of need, he could provide a safe alternative for her. No longer would she need to wonder through the Mineral Mountains bound to her stubborn goal. No longer would she have to worry. If Matchi’s path was as wonderful as he said, her life would finally be stable, and she would be at peace.

However, could she just leave Ekad like that? He had done so much for her, given her strength, given her room and board, shown her kindness after Hot Springs, and led her to solving her sight problem. Would leaving him now be any way to repay all his kindness? She knew that their relationship was fragile at this moment, for he loved her and she could not return his feelings. Such a relationship was a scar on their friendship, and could make staying with him unpleasant. But it would be too wrong for her to leave him now.

“Matchi,” she said in her weak voice. He listened. “At this moment, I don’t know. I – I can’t understand anything right now, and my mind is a blur.”

She took another moment to collect her thoughts and take a deep breath. Matchi hung on to every word.

She began again, “Thank you for your kindness…”

“But?” he said, trying to stay composed.

“I don’t know if there is a “but”. I-I need to think, and I feel like I can’t think right now. I don’t know, I don’t know.”

Matchi stroked her hair some more in order to keep her from slipping away into the dark depths of her mind.

“It’s okay, Tiponi, if you don’t know. Think about it, if you need to think. I only want to do good for you. It would mean everything if you came with me, but if you need to sort out your own mind first, do so,” Matchi said.

Tiponi nodded then, reached for her glasses and clutched them in her hand. When she stood, Matchi’s furs slipped from her shoulders. With quivering legs, she careened to the tent’s entrance. Her Charmander was at her feet as she exited into the snow.

“Tiponi!” the boy exclaimed. He followed after her into the thick fog of snow and spun her around to face him. Clutching her shoulders he looked into her eyes. While gazing through the windows to her mind, he realized her desperation.

“If you want to think, then think. But know what my wish is; come with me. Join me on my path. Please decide on that when you think.”

He pulled up her hood and let her go. Now released, Tiponi unsteadily walked through the snow, and disappeared from Matchi’s view. With the general direction of the town in mind, she wandered.

[Shuppet Master]

I read this fic's first few chapters, but stopped reading it because it was getting dull. But now I realize something after watching "The Golden Compass" movie.

Did you read the His Dark Materials triology, because the whole Pokemon being daemons is similar to how the movie said that a person's soul is an animal called a daemon...

[eevee-shayna]

*points to first line of first post*

this is a His Dark Materials/Trainer fic, hope you enjoy. ^_^

I know the beginning is a bit dull. Bare in mind (as it I have said many times int his topic) I first started the concept of this fic when I was in middle school, took a year to develop the plot, settings and characters, then began writing it my freshman year of highschool. I am now in my first year of college, and am still writing it. More than anything the story is a progression of my literary development as a writer.

I don't expect anyone to read it at this point, I just want to write. Thank you for expressing some interest in the story. It never occurred to me that the movie coming out might draw in some audience/recognition. In the past people have detoured interest from this story because of the lack of interest/knowledge in the origen.

[mistysakura]

Aww, Shuppet Master, you don't know what you're missing out on!

Sorry I haven't replied; life has been hectic this past year. But now I finally get to sit down and muck around on TPM! I still like this fic as much as I did. The battle have gotten more interesting because of the connection between Tiponi and Medwin. And Tiponi's road keeps leading her to closed doors... poor girl. It feels like the fic's getting a bit stagnant though, like there is nothing Tiponi can do except miss Etchemin. Hopefully Matchi's suggestions will make a difference. I'm glad the search for Tiponi's mother is featuring again as well. I also hope that we get to see more of Medwin -- being Tiponi's daemon he ought to do more than battle!

Good luck with the SPs!

EDIT: Oh yeah, His Dark Materials is one of my favourite series. I believe a lot of people here like it as well, so I'm sure the fandom isn't turning readers off. Anyone who hasn't read them also doesn't know what they're missing out on.

[eevee-shayna]

Mistysakura, it means a lot to me that you say people are missing out by not reading my work. Im glad you like it that much.

trust me, it wot be stagnant for long. Tiponi just needs to get out of the childish rut she's in, and then something big will come.

just to give you an idea of this storie's life span, there are two more towns to visit after Eyrie, and then the finally setting. I still have a lot of writing to get to that point, hopefully it wont take me all of my college career (talk about stagnant).

Thank you for reading!

[eevee-shayna]

In celebration of my Best Overall Setting Silver Pencil Award, I give you a new chapter. Enjoy!


Chapter 45

After stumbling in the cold, white blanket which covered most of Eyrie, Tiponi at last made her way back to the Gym. Ekad was still at the front door of Aren’s house. Upon seeing Tiponi’s bent form, and the Charmander’s weak torch, Ekad ran to her side.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t right for me to yell at you like that. I’m following you on my own will and since I still choose to follow you, I should let you do things your way. I didn’t mean to make you run away like that. Please don’t run off like that again,” Ekad said.

Tiponi could not raise her head, for it was too weighed down with heavy thoughts. The only acknowledgment the boy recieved was Medwin looking up at Ekad and nodding. Tiponi continued to walk slowly toward the Gym, and the boy moved with her.

While they took sluggish steps to the Questing Gym, the mob from the morning emerged from an ice-crusted house and stormed toward Aren’s house.

Ekad looked at the mob and noticed two things. First, that the day was coming to an end, and therefore they were going to run the Gym Leader out of town. Second, the group had mostly flying type pokémon for dæmons, and those winged creatures were flapping angrily above their humans. With the furious flapping and yelling, the mob was a loose cannon.

“Tiponi, let’s go hide,” Ekad said urgently. He tugged at her coat and began to move, but Tiponi bared her feet into the ground and used her little strength to stay planted.

“Tiponi! Please! I know you’re not in the best state right now, but let me lead you from harm!” Ekad pleaded. Anata even tried to tug Medwin from the spot. But the pair from Quartz stubbornly stayed.

Tiponi even raised her head to glance at the threat which swiftly approached them.

“Anti-Questers,” she said, with a look Ekad was not familiar with.

“Yes, and they’re coming to dispose of the Gym Leader in this town. This is not the best place for two weak Questers to be at the moment,” Ekad said.

“Anti-Questers. They’re changing my way of life,” Tiponi said. Her eyes were fixated at the approaching mob.

“Yes, but we need to go now!” Anata said, trying to reason with the girl’s Dæmon.

“Medwin, we need to protect our way of life,” Tiponi said. Medwin nodded.

The mob was now right in front of them.

“Heh! Those two ain’t from around here! They must be Questers!” said an angry voice from the bunch.

“Tiponi!” yelled Ekad.

She ignored him and said, “Medwin!”

The Charmander raced forward with smoke flaring from his nostrils and his claws bared.

“Attack that Charmander! No Questers allowed in our town!”

A swarm of Zubats, Spearows, and various flying pokémon dove at Medwin.

“Wheel!” Tiponi said. Medwin stopped, breathed in deep, and let out a long burst of fire which coiled until it turned into a Fire Spin. The dæmon in the front of the group were engulfed in the swirling vortex of flames. A handful of the mob fell onto their knees in pain. The rest of the dæmon flew around the fire and plowed into the Charmander. He crashed to the ground, and while struggling to stand up again was pushed back to the ground by the swarm. Tiponi fell to the ground along with her dæmon. Ekad moved to help her up, but she used her energy to yell commands to Medwin rather than getting back up.

“No need to get up to beat them! Lay on your back!” Tiponi said. Her voice was strained, yet her tone was strong.

Medwin obeyed, and the group flew as one back to attack the Charmander with one final blow.

The moment the group was just above Medwin, Tiponi yelled “Full force!”

Medwin let out a stream of fire, which caught all the flying dæmons. As the rest of the mob crash to the snowy ground, so did the dæmons. However, being above the Charmander, they all fell upon him. Tiponi collapsed completely to the ground.

Ekad looked around at the mess before him. Tiponi had actually managed to beat a mob. Though in the act, she had been knocked out as well. And when the group awoke, they were going to be even angrier.

Anata used her webs to net the flying dæmons together and Ekad used one of the ropes to pull the winged creatures off of Medwin, careful not to touch them. Anata picked up Medwin and brought him to Tiponi.

“It’s you Questers from before,” came a voice from the Gym Leaders door. Ekad looked to see that it was the Gym Leader himself speaking.

“I appreciate your help for the moment, the meeting isn’t done yet,” Aren said.

“I-I don’t understand, Sir,” Ekad said.

“Here, she fought for me, bring the girl inside so she can at least get better. It’s my fault she had to fight that group, anyway,” the Eyrie Gym Leader said.

Still confused, Ekad carried Tiponi, and Anata dragged Medwin, into Aren’s house. Once inside, the man closed the door and immediately the room was warmer.

“They were really going to kick me out. Well, thanks to the girl, I still have a good day left in this place. That bunch outside needs at least that much time to recover and regroup. But as I was saying, the meeting is still going on. I came to my door when I heard a ruckus outside. But enough of that, back to the meeting,” Aren said. Tiponi and her dæmon were placed on a chair, and Ekad followed the man. They went through a door which connected the house to the gym. Inside the Eyrie gym, Ekad found all the Pro-Questers of Eyrie congregated.

“A girl who was with this boy knocked out that group of Anti-Questers, so we have ourselves a little more time,” Aren said

A few people cheered, then they resumed conversing.

Ekad listened to the group. Some people argued that it was the people of Mineral Mountain’s right to Quest if they choose to. Some said that if society dubbed it unfit, then they should just give up the sport. Others said that they should peacefully bring a petition to the Dæmon League Champion. And others still debated that they should use force to fight the Anti-Questers for their right to Quest. Although all these proposals were brought up, no one idea could be decided on. They continued to argue, and Ekad found himself dozing off.

When Ekad awoke, a decision had still not been reached, and Aren was on the verge of quitting completely and letting the Pro-Questers fend on their own.

Ekad stood to check on Tiponi. And Aren, wanting to get away from the discussion, followed. When they got into the house part of the building, they found Tipon and a girl sitting at the table, and Tiponi was showing the girl her Stamps.

“Oh!” said the girl in awe. “I wish I could get these!”

“They need to be earned while Questing,” Tiponi said. Tiponi then noticed the two who had entered the room.

"Like what Daddy does!" the girl said, smiling at Aren.

“Tiponi! You’re awake!” Ekad said, obviously relieved.

“Yes, and I can finally think straight. Just needed to get out of that blizzard-like wind, and a good night’s sleep, I guess,” Tiponi said with a thin smile.

“I’m glad. You had me worried,” the boy said.

“Well, you bought us some more time, but we’re still no closer to a decision,” Aren said. He collapsed into a chair beside his daughter.

Tiponi bit her lip. “I wish there was something I could do,” Tiponi said. But with nothing else to add, Tiponi folded up her Questing Permit and put it into her bag. But while looking in her bag, she noticed another paper. She pulled it out, read the top line, and smiled.

“It’s not much, but this could be a token of my thanks for sheltering me for the night,” Tiponi said, then placed the paper on the table.

The girl picked up the paper.

“Ooo! A recipe! I’ll make it right now,” she said, then went to the hearth and began collecting ingredients.

“What was that you gave her?” Ekad asked.

“Apple cider recipe,” Tiponi said.

Ekad half smirked and said, “A small mercy, eh?”

The group was quiet until Aren’s daughter was finished cooking. She poured four mugs of the cider and handed one to the humans in the room. After inhaling the spiced aroma, they sipped from their mugs. Then, to everyone’s surprise, Aren laughed.

“What is it, father?” the girl asked.

“Oh, it’s just, this cider brings back memories,” he said, slightly dazed.

Tiponi and Ekad looked at one another.

“How can that be? This is a recipe that only the 10 winners of the cider drinking contest get at Swarm’s Harvesting Festival. How would you know this cider?” Tiponi asked.

“Don’t you forget, to be a Gym Leader I too had to travel to all the Gyms, beat the Gym Leaders, then beat the Champion at the time, and, finally, be beaten. I traveled to Swarm a long time ago to get my Stamp there. And all those years ago, I remember being there during the Harvest Festival. I too was in that contest, and got the recipe. But I’ve long lost the paper. Long lost the memory too, until now,” he said, than took another sip.

“Oh, it was a long time ago that I tasted this. I’d just won the Swarm Stamp the day before, and then the Harvest Festival was the day after. To me, the taste of this sweet cider will always be the taste of sweet victory of winning a battle. You know, Swarm was the last Gym I beat. The very last one before I challenged the Champion. Wow, what a memory.” He drank the rest of the steaming amber liquid in his mug. His daughter quickly replenished it.

Before they knew it, the three Questers were sharing Questing stories. Aren suddenly found himself very interested in Tiponi’s plight. When she talked about her latest fight, with the mob right outside of the Gym, Aren was dumbfounded.

“So basically, you fought not just to protect yourself or me, but to protect the right to Quest?” Aren said.

“My mind was a little hazy at that moment, but yes, that was why I fought them,” Tiponi admitted. Aren took in the thought for awhile before speaking again.

“Tiponi, I think I’ve been up in these mountains so long that I’ve lost my Questing spirit. This cider reminds me of how much I love that sweet taste of victory from winning a Questing battle. And you, Tiponi, with you’re fiery passion for this sport, you remind me of how much Questing means to me. Yes, I think I’ve been detached from the Questing society for too long. But now that I think about it, we can’t just let this sport die! It is important to me, and to all the people in my Gym right now, and half of the Mineral Mountains! We can’t let it go without a fight. I don’t know what the Champion is thinking, but I don’t think he has the right to decide that our beloved Questing should be abandoned!”

With his rekindled passion ablaze, the Eyrie Gym Leader marched into the Gym, and announced his decision. The room silenced as the Gym Leader defiantly marching into the room.

“Questing is something dear to too many people. I say we fight for it! We’ll try to talk reason with this current Champion, and if he does not bring back Questing, then its war!” Aren shouted triumphantly.

The room cheered in agreement, sealing the deal in their minds and souls.


~~~~
Can a mug of cider really change a person's mind? Why not. When I first thought up with the cider plot device I was thinking about how in the gameboy pokemon games you have to go on little missions in order for the game to let you proceed. This cider stunt seemed like the type of thing you would have to do in the games. Though I'm not sure what kind of mini game drinking apple cider would be ^^

[eevee-shayna]

In honor of Medwin's award for Best Character in a Supporting Role and his shared award with Tiponi for Best Friendship, I think I'll put up a new chapter. Wow, is that what I've come to now? Putting up new chapters when I win an award? No wonder I got so many votes for Worst Writer's Block.

Well, a little chaos anyone? And perhaps another mental break down. Could be fun. Enjoy!


Chapter 46

It was soon after the Gym Leader’s announcement that a banging was heard at the Gym’s doors.

Tiponi rushed into the gym to see what was going on. Her attention was side tracked for a moment when she saw a huge orange pokemon near the entrance of the door.

“That Dragonite must be Aren’s Daemon,” Medwin said in awe. The two did not have time to ponder the assumption, because mayhem soon broke loose.

“Alright, Aren! You and ALL the Questers in here are now banned from this town! We’re kicking you out now! And if you refuse to go, prepare to be killed!” came an inhumanely outraged voice. The doors were thrown open from the outside, and a mob of Anti-Questers stormed into the Gym.

“Fight!” yelled Aren. And with their final decision to fight for their sport, the Pro-Questers did just that. Soon it was a full fledged battle between those for and those against the sport of Questing in the town of Eyrie. Tiponi, knowing her place, joined in the battle, as did Ekad. It was a chaotic match, with pokémon attacks flying everywhere. The Gym caught on fire several times, but ice and water soon quenched it. Poison took down a significant amount of people in one corner of the Gym, while in another corner merciless lightning struck down dæmons and humans alike. Some towns people, from either sides, fled from the battle.

Aren and his Dragonite were an unparalleled team, landing highly damaging attacks.

But eventually, it was the Pro-Questers who were victorious. Partly because they were so motivated, and partly because there were many Questers on the Pro-Questers side who were trained for battling.

At the completion of the battle, a dark figure stood in the doorway to the gym.

“I have a message from the Champion,” announced Matchi. All who still were standing stared at the boy. “The Champion says that ‘if this is what you have decided upon, then so be it. A civil war has now been proclaimed. You have until the new moon to prepare an army and to fight at the base of Wingspan mountain.’”

Matchi held a parchment to the wall and tacked it on. He began to turn toward the door, when he spotted Tiponi. He looked hurt to have found her in this crowd.

With a pleading and concerned face, he said, “It’s not too late, Tiponi. You could join our side. You belong with us. Please Tiponi, come with me.” He spoke softly so only those close to them could hear.

Tiponi, battle worn and dazed with confusion, could not grasp any words to speak. Matchi searched for the answer he yearned for in the girl's pallid countenance. He hoped, pleaded, for the smallest nod from the girl before him. Though her face stood frozen, her eyes began to move. His heart stopped, then fluttered as he noticed her eyes moving. He anticipated the moment when her beautiful brown eyes would catch his own sight. Almost, almost-

“Of course Tiponi will not follow you. We stand for the Pro-Questers, and believe in our cause,” Ekad said confidently.

Any hope of eye contact was severed as Tiponi turned her head away and stared at the floor. Then, as Matchi’s enemy said, “Right, Tiponi?”, the girl’s eyes rose to meet Ekads eyes. And to Matchi’s horror, the girl nodded to him.

Fuming, Matchi announced, “If that’s how it is, than I vow we will strike you all down.” He spun sharply on his heel and stormed away. Only Medwin noticed the tiny droplets that stained the snow where Matchi had been.

“Preparations must be made,” announced a Pro-Quester. Tiponi snapped out of the little world she had been in and turned to the speaker.

“Agreed. If we’re really going to be fighting a war, we’ll need to start being serious about it,” came another voice.

Many voices chimed in with comments and suggestions until the gym filled with noise.

“The nerve of that Matchi, storming in and speaking like that,” Anata said to Medwin. “Him and Tisiw, they’re the type you best stay away from.”

Medwin distinctly turned away from the dǽmon. “Cheap shots are unbecoming. You’re not the only one who has feelings,” Medwin said in a tone that revealed fire behind his words.

Tiponi and Ekad had heard their dǽmons, and stood stunned as they mustered up retorts. Still ragged from the Pro-Questers versus Anti-Questers fight, the two prepared for yet another battle.

“I can’t believe you’d stick up for him! He’s obviously on the Anti-Questers side. Tiponi, he just announced that the Champion has proclaimed war. War! Do you know how serious that is? Whoever that pathetic excuse for a Champion is, he’s a perfect match for Matchi: the scum of the mountains,” Ekad accused.

Medwin, still wounded and charred, found plenty of energy through Tiponi’s rage to flare his fire.

Tiponi looked Ekad in the eyes, like a dog challenging its authority. “How dare you say that. Perhaps the Champion is far from ideal, but you have no right to speak of Matchi that way. Perhaps if someone had been kinder to him when he was growing up, then he would have turned out more social. Out of all the words you said to put him down, have you ever once considered that he is a human with feelings? That, perhaps, he’s just misunderstood?”

“There’s nothing misunderstood about him, Tiponi. He’s just a bad seed. That’s all there is to it. Maybe if you just listen to me once-in-awhile then your head would be straight about these things!” Ekad said in a raised voice. Anata now bared the ground in a fighter stance.

“Aren’t you the one who taught me meditation and open-mindedness? Maybe if you took a second to reflect, then you’d see what I see in him! He’s a kind, thoughtful man who is trying to find his place in the world.” Tiponi’s voice raised to match Ekad’s.

Ekad threw his arms up in the air. “So that’s what this is all about! You’re so blinded by your own emotions that you can’t see what a dire situation we’re in!”

“What are you talking about?” Tiponi questioned angrily.

Ekad almost covered his face with his hands, but hesitated and let Tiponi see his eye: let her see his full pain. “He’s the one. You won’t love me, because he’s already gone and wooed you with his petty music.”

The pain Tiponi saw in his eyes made it hard for her to stand. Even Anata curled up on the ground, as if her heart was breaking.

“It’s not like that-” Tiponi tried to explain, but the damage was done. Ekad shrugged her off and turned his back to her.

“I should have never come. To think I could- I should have never come,” he said. His voice was fighting against the tears swelling up.

Tiponi took a step forward and reached out a hand. “Ekad, I need y-.”

Ekad turned sharply around, his hair partially covering his eyes. Tiponi thought better and put her hand back to her side.

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence. Don’t you dare,” he said through bared teeth.

Speechless, Tiponi watched as Ekad walked away. Tiponi was thankful when Aren walked up to the boy and stopped him.

“What’s the matter boy, I heard you and Tiponi yelling about something,” Aren asked.

“It’s nothing. I’ve, I’ve just decided to go back to Swarm is all,” he said. Tiponi breathed in sharply, but only Medwin could hear her.

“Well, could you recruit some Pro-Questers while you’re there? We’ll need all the help we can get.”

“I’ll, I’ll tell them,” he said. And just like that, Ekad walked out of the gym, and out of Tiponi’s grasp.

Aren didn’t have time to ponder over Ekad. He turned to the gym and called for silence.

“First things first. Those who aren’t injured, kindly bring the Antis to their homes. As for the rest of you Pros, stand by for triage. We’re going to get this settled first, then we’ll talk about war plans,” Aren announced. Immediately the room was cleared of fainted Anti-Questers. The humans could carry the humans, but the dǽmons had to carry the dǽmons, which became problematic with size proportion. Still, they managed.

Meanwhile, the gym was busy enough for Tiponi to slink away unnoticed. She wandered aimlessly until she found a secluded part of Aren’s house. A room with a hearth burning, and plush chairs to curl up in. With Medwin in her arms, Tiponi became as small as she could.

“Why can’t I hold on to anything? Everything just seems to slip away from me,” Tiponi said through sobs. She buried her face in Medwin’s shoulder, and he clung to her neck.

“Why can’t I be friends with both at the same time?”

Medwin shared his human’s tears.

“Maybe we should meditate about it,” Medwin suggested.

“No,” Tiponi said. She wasn’t being close minded or childish. Medwin understood without her having to say it: she didn’t want to meditate because it was something Ekad had taught her.

“Sometimes a good cry is just as good,” the Charmander said. He was being uncharacteristically understanding, but drastic circumstances can cause even the toughest character to soften.

The two were so blinded by their emotions that they didn’t notice a little girl sneak into the room.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt anything,” stammered the sheepish girl.

Tiponi quickly looked up, revealing her blotchy, red face. She lifted a hand and attempted to clear the tears from her cheeks. Aren’s daughter was about to leave the room, when the Quester spoke up.

“Please, stay,” she said feebly.

The girl walked forward and Tiponi reached out an arm to her. Tiponi still held Medwin to her left shoulder, but there was plenty of room for the girl to fall into a hug on the Quester’s right side, which is exactly what she did.

“What’s wrong?” the little girl asked.

“Everything,” Tiponi said, unable to contain a sob.

The girl, ignorantly innocent, hugged the older girl back comfortingly.

“Do you want me to make more cider? That cheered up Daddy before,” the little girl asked sweetly.

Tiponi laughed despite herself. “The taste of victory, eh?” She said as she let go of the child and pat the seat next to her. The girl took the hint and sat beside the distraught traveler.

“What’s your name?” Medwin asked the girl’s dæmon.

“I’m Kentiy,” said the Delibird said, “and this is my human, Nadya. We couldn’t help but notice that you and your human seem unhappy. Why are you unhappy? Daddy said the bad people are gone for now.”

Tiponi couldn’t help but smile at the simplicity of Nadya’s mind. Everything was in the moment with her. The future wasn’t even a thought in her mind. Was Tiponi once like that? When she first started this journey, all she knew was that she wanted to battle just like her father. Gosh, she hadn’t even trained ahead of time, or had carried a map. She just blindly ran into this adventure. Was that the key to happiness? To only worry about problems when they came across your path? Had Tiponi traveled so much that she lost her inner child and cheerful ambitions? And was it too late to gain it back?

Tiponi looked at the little girl more intently, like a student studying a Teacher. “Nadya, what are your goals in life? I mean, what do you want to do?”

The Gym Leader’s daughter swung her legs excitedly over the edge of the couch. Her heels thumbed against the push side yet her feet never reached the floor.

“Well,” she began, “I’ve always wanted to be like Daddy. He’s so strong, and so many interesting people come to our house to meet him. I want to live in a biiiiiiiiiigg house where people come to visit me. That way I might even meet everyone in the Mineral Mountains! I’d have a lot of friends.”

“I suppose you would,” Tiponi said. With this girl’s description, even Tiponi began to forget about the politics with Anti-Questers.

“But before that I want to travel, like Daddy did. He tells me about the different places he’s been. Wouldn’t that be the greatest thing? To see everything there is? You’ve been a bunch of places, like Daddy has. I know, ‘cause you have all those stamps. I think that’s great too, to have stamps proving that you’ve been everywhere. That’s what I want, to collect all them so I can show all my friends where I’ve been. ”

Tiponi had never thought of it that way. To her Questing had always been about the sport itself, and beating every Gym Leader so she would be able to follow her father’s footsteps. And – more importantly then that – to figure out the mystery behind her mother, and what had ever happened to her.

Tiponi had always been troubled about the whole Hot Sprigs incident, where she had obtained the stamp without actually beating the Gym Leader. Up to now she was a liar because by carrying that stamp she was saying that she had won a Gym battle, and therefore was a stronger Quester. This guilt had gnawed at Tiponi for some time now. But the way Nadya explained it, there really wasn’t any guilt. The stamps were souvenirs proving that she had been all over the Mineral Mountains. And the true test of strength was not being able to beat all those Gym Leaders, but the journey and struggles while traveling. Questing was an opportunity to travel across the land, meet new people, encounter new problems, and finding out what you’re made of. As a woman, Tiponi was looked down upon for traveling alone. But because she was a Quester, it was sociably acceptable for her to be on her own. Most people never left their homes all their lives, only Messengers really traveled to different towns. Questing was an opportunity to see what was out there, to weigh one’s options, to have an excuse to not work for a while and just explore. The very word implied it, Questing was about going on a life-learning quest, and not so much about battling others. And that was something worth fighting for.

“Nadya, at the moment the sport of Questing may not exist anymore: or at least that’s what some people are trying to make happen. A lot of us Questing people will need to… confront those who don’t want it in order to keep the sport. Just like what happened in the gym, except with many, many more people involved. Do you think it’d be worth it? Do you think the right to Quest is worth a fight that big?” Tiponi asked the girl. Medwin shot his human a look that said, ‘She’s only a small girl, That is not fair to ask her such a huge question.’

“I think,” the girl said, her face scrunched in thought, “I think that if people don’t want to play, then they don’t have to. And people shouldn’t tell others what to do, because that’s bullying. And I know I’d be sad if bullies wouldn’t let me travel like I want to. If I can’t Quest to travel, than there’s no other reason.”

Tiponi nodded in understanding. It wasn’t just her goals at stake, but also all the generations to come. If Questers didn’t take action now, then people in generations to come would never have the opportunity. This war was about the right to choose, and the right to explore all life and the mountains had to offer. And, who knows, maybe if questing was around long enough, long past the opposing generation had died out, then it would become an unquestioned aspect of society.

Looking at this girl before her, Tiponi could see the goals of children were at stake. She could see how important Questing really was, and why it must continue to be practiced.

Medwin could hear his human’s thoughts and he silently agreed. It was time to take a stand for what they believed in. For what many believed in.

Tiponi’s teary face was replaced by a much stronger countenance. She placed Medwin on the floor and stood. With sure footing she strode to the gym entrance and barged into a meeting taking place.

[Mew Trainer Rose]

Yay, another chapter! This one seemed a little rushed to me, especially the battle in the beginning. That seemed to start rather quickly and end suddenly, with too little time in between. And Matchi just sort of showed up out of nowhere.

Still, there's some interesting stuff going on here; the break of a friendship, a bit of soul-searching, and a new resolve. I like how talking to Nadya, a small child with a child's innocence, helped put such big issues as war and the end of Questing into perspective. And of course there's the upcoming war. I can't wait to see how that turns out.