Game: Whack-a-TPMer v.3 M.A. T_M_L

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

The rules are simple:

The object of the game is to "whack" as many different users that participate in the game and score as many whacks as possible.

to 'whack' someone, one must simply post who they are whacking and how they want to whack them.

I whack Bob; *SuperwhacKs Bob; *stomps Bob into the ground; are all acceptable whacks.

You may only whack those who have posted here. So, no sign-ups are necessary.

Here are the rules:

1) No Multiwhacks: only one whack per post, please.

2) No Rapidwhacks: you cannot whack multiple times in a row as per the double posting rule, and remember also that you must wait for two other persons before you post again just as in all the other 'normal' PCG games.

3) Don't whack yourself.

After a predetermined number of pages, I will tally up scores. Various "Awards" can be gleaned, such as:

Whack Champion: had the most variety of whacked users

Whackiest Whacker: awarded to the user with the most hilerious whack, as determined by poll.

This Round will last until the 121st reply, i.e. the 122th post since there's no whack in this starter post.

[Shadow Wolf]

Well, time to begin the whack party. Since I'm the first...

*pokes mikachu's eyes with a number one foam hand*

GO!

[Blademaster]

Heeeeeeere's number 2!

(takes two fingers and punctures shinypkmnchaser's throat)

Kung fu-whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

*Blademaster walks towards a table with free donuts.

"This doesn't look suspicious at all. So I will just sit down and have some donuts." Blademaster says.

*As Blademaster sits down to a jelly-filled donuts, he hears a noise from above. But it ignores it.

"I wish I had some milk to go with this." Blademaster says.

"You wish is my command." I say.

*Blademaster looks up and sees a bunch of cow dangling from above. I let go of the rope and the cows lands on Blademaster squishing him flat.*

You have been squished by a couple of cows, Blademaster.

[mr_pikachu]

*hits Blademaster with the Hangman Randomizer*

Irony-whacked.

[Shadow Wolf]

Hey Inferno, check out this!

"One day, a student asks her teacher
-Hey teacher, how do you write bullet?
The teacher answers: -The way it sounds, my fellow student.
The girl writes in her notebook: bam!"

*Inferno's ears start bleeding*

Lame joke whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Since it is almost Christmas time, I think I am going to festive on this one, mr_pikachu.

"Hey, mr_pikachu, since it is almost Christmas ... I thought I would get your a bunch of Presents."

"Really, Inferno_Dragon. That is nice of you. What did you you get me?"

"You know the song the 12 days of Christmas?"

"Yeah!"

"I got you that!"

"You got me the song? That's nice but that's boring."

"No, you misunderstood. I got you to the items."

"Really, where are they?"

"Funny, you should say that."

*Inferno_Dragon pulls out a device with a button and pressed it. A storm cloud looms above mr_pikachu head. mr_pikachu sees something coming down on him. Something really big.

"How did that song go anyways? Oh Yeah,

On the 12th day of Christmas, I gave to mr_pikachu;

12 drums drumming
11 Pipers piping
10 Lords a-leaping
9 ladies dancing
8 maids a-milking
7 swans a-swimming
6 geese a-laying
5 Golden Rings
4 calling birds
3 French Hens
2 turtle doves
and a partidge (Alan Partidge to be specific) in a pear tree.

Congradulations, mr_pikachu. You have been whacked by the 12 days of Christmas. Enjoy.

[Blademaster]

(runs in, breaks an ornament over mr_pikachu's head, runs back out)

Ornament-whacked.

[Shadow Wolf]

Rushes And Nails Dynamites On Mr_pikachu

mr_pikachu explodes.

R.A.N.D.O.M. whack

[darktyranitar]

"Hey, shinypkmnchaser... do you know what sound is produced from one hand clapping?"

"Hm...'Cl', I suppose."

"No..."

"...then what?"

WHACK! Shinypkmnchaser was then left to massage his cheek, which was recently slapped by one darktyranitar.

Haha, you actually fell for it!

[Inferno_Dragon]

darktyranitar, it is your turn.

*darktyranitar winds up in a room in a hospital. Wondering how he got here, he tries to leave but he is strapped down onto the hospital bed. He soon realizes that he is in an examination room. He is surrounded by a bunch of medical students. The door opens and in steps ...

"House, good to see you. The patient is ready for operation."

*Patient? Operations, this can't be good, darktyranitar thinks.

"So what is the problem with darktyranitar?" House asks.

"Well according to the one who brought him, he has a bunch of problems." One of the students says.

*Wait, who brought me, darktyranitar thinks.*

"According to this report, darktyranitar has Hypertrichosis ...

"Do I look like I am covered in hair?" darktyranitar yells.

"... has multiple personalities ... "

"Okay, I might be insane some times but I have one personality."

" ... is color blind .. that might not be a problem but we can deal with it. Let's see what other problems I can improve."

"Who told you this thi .... " darktyranitar said but he was silenced as one of the medical students injected a syringe into his arm.

*Several hours later, House and his students are clinking glasses.*

"What a success" All the students are saying.

"So how did he fare?" A shadow figure says from the doorway.

"He was quiet confused when I read him the list at the beginning but I think I cured him. He will be in a coma for a long time but he will be as good as new when he wakes ... I hope." House says.

"That's good. How much I have to pay you?" The shadow asks.

"Nothing this one is on the house. Thanks for giving me the information ... Inferno_Dragon." House says.

"Not all. Just trying to help darktyranitar out." I say as I walk towards the cafeteria.

darktyranitar, you have just been House Whacked.

[Shadow Wolf]

OK, time to do whatever.


"-Blademaster, can I ask you something?
-...
-Can you watch this pendulum?
-...
-Now, at the count of three, you will become a pokemon. One, two, three!
-...
-OK, now that you are a pokemon, you will use metronone at the count of three. One, two, three!

*Blademaster used metronone
...
Blademaster used self-destruct
Blademaster fainted*

*one hour later, Blade wakes up in a hospital, dazed and covered in bandages*

-Hey Lou, what happened?
-You won't believe what happened..."

Random whacked

[Blademaster]

Lou, you're skating on thin ice using my randomness without my consent. But I have other names on my list.

(strangles Mikachu with Christmas lights)

Light-whacked.

[mr_pikachu]

Festivity, huh?


On the evening of Christmas, a young man approached a large house bordered by an array of solid white lights. With a sigh, he kicked the last traces of snow off his boots. After looking through a frosted window to see that the lights were on, he rang the doorbell.

The varnished maple frame swung open. "Ah, Louis, it's you," said Brian. "Come in, come in. It's cold out there."

Thanks, dude." mr_pikachu took the newcomer's coat and sidled to the hall closet as Louis stepped through the entrance. While the outdoor decorations were only slightly more elaborate than what he was accustomed to seeing, the interior was loaded with everything from garland on the walls to trays of chocolate chip cookies on every countertop. The kitchen on Louis' right consisted merely of an oven and microwave, as well as the smell of flour and spices. The left was the living room, where a large sound system played only soft Christmas tunes.

Ahead of the two, a long hallway extended into what Louis presumed was the dining room. This was confirmed when Brian beckoned him forward.

"So, what's so important that you had to call me down here on Christmas?" Louis asked.

"Nothing special," Brian sighed. "Just some Hangman stuff. Need to get everything set for the new year, you know. I've got all our materials in our makeshift boardroom. We might have to-"

He stopped mid-sentence and mid-step, right leg dangled awkwardly in the air at the threshold of the dining room. It had almost been too late, but he had caught himself. Now was the chance to yank that blasted thing from the ceiling. His hand reached up...

Louis, his attention and eyes directed at the living room where a 60-inch TV was presently inactive, failed to see Brian's pause. As such, he toppled into his fellow worker, bumping him a half-step through.

The younger worker stood at the opening, slightly stunned, as Brian turned around and fought the urge to swear under his breath. As the senior worker approached Louis with an odd look, he caught just a glimpse of the patch of greenery dangling above their heads.

Louis' scream was only broken as the tradition was fulfilled.


Mistletoe-whacked. >_<

[Crazy Elf Boy]

*Picks up 2000 post and drops them on Mr_pikachu*

Eat all my posts boy

My 2000th post whacked

[Blademaster]

(takes the Christmas tree star and impales Inferno_Dragon through the eye with it)

Star-whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Crazy Elf Boy, prepare for your whacking.

*Crazy Elf Boy is sitting by his Christmas Tree looking at the presents he just received. There is still one present but it said do not open until 12:00 P.M. It was 11:50 A.M right now. Crazy Elf couldn't wait until 12:00 P.M. He pulled the string. Then he unwrapped it. What he found inside was a small TV. Crazy Elf Boy plugged it in and turned it on. A picture of me appears on the screen.

"Crazy Elf Boy, this is Inferno_Dragon. If you are watching this broadcast, then you did not wait until noon. You are very naughty ... and you know what that means."

*Crazy Elf Boy was confused because the last words sounded like it came from this room. CEB turned around to see me with a sack with black rocks.*

"Merry Christmas CEB, and here is your present: A Giant Sack of Coal."

*Inferno_Dragon swings the giant coal filled sack and hits CEB on the head with it. Walking out the house, you hear Inferno_Dragon say "You better not cry, you better not pout, you had better not open my present before noon because Inferno_Dragon is coming to town to hit your head with a giant sack of coal."

CEB, you have just been Present Whacked.

[Shadow Wolf]

While walking the street with his bow, shinypkmnchaser notices a chicken walking in front of him. After this, he sees darktyranitar at the other side of the road.

With a feeling of wacking darktyranitar, Louis decides to cross dt with an arrow, but he is unable to do this, as he left his arrows at a local store he passed by.

Shiny has no other choice, except to grab the poor chicken and use it as an arrow. He prepares the chicken in his bow, and the animal releases a scream that makes darktyranitar notice Louis. But before he could do anything to defend himself, the chicken is launched, stabbing dt in his belly and taking him down.

The chicken releases a low-pitch "kikiriki" and drops an egg.

Louis smiles as he walks away.

Hot Shots whacked

[Blademaster]

(takes coal from a stocking and pelts Crazy Elf Boy with it over and over)

Coal-whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

shinypkmnchaser, it is your turn to get whacked.

*shinypkmnchaser steps inside a house. He is over confident. He just target most of all the TPMer's house and stole their valuables. Now he comes across Inferno_Dragons house. He had just lockpicked the door and entered the house. Searching for valuables, shinypkmnchaser spots a giant safe in a back room.*

"No security alarms, no trip wires. It is like Inferno_Dragon is begging me to steal his stuff." shinypkmnchaser says.

*Using a old but effective tool, shinypkmnchaser is able to open the safe. It is dark, huge but somewhat empty. There is something in the middle. shinypkmnchaser steps into not noticing that he just tripped a button that causes the door to shut. But it shut so quietly that shinypkmnchaser was unaware.*

"The room has an unusual odor but I must get what ever that is.
" shinypkmnchaser says.

*shinypkmnchaser steps closer to the item and finds that it is a Wii with a bunch of games. shinypkmnchaser stuffs them in a sack. Then turns around towards the door. Suddenly, the room seems brighter. Thousands of gold coins surrounded him.*

"I didn't notice those before. I am going to be richer than I thought but how can I carry all these coins and ... "

*Suddenly, glimmers of white, red, green, and blue catch his eye. Not only are there gold coins but massive amounts of rubies. shinypkmnchaser's mouth begins to water. All this treasure and no security system.*

"I know what I will do. I will come back with a big crew and clean this fool out." shinypkmnchaser smirks.

*shinypkmnchaser heads for the entrance and is about to open the safe when another glare catchs his eye. There is a sign on the back wall. It reads Inferno Dragon's greatest treasure yet. shinypkmnchaser is drooling now. He shuts his eyes and runs at top speed towards the door. Just as he reaches the door, he is too overjoyed to realize what is going on and run straight into a titanium wall smashing his face and breaking every bone in his body.*

"Treasure!" shinypkmnchaser keeps on saying.

*A couple of hours, the police arrive to see the damage. They find shinypkmnchaser in a sad state. He is all covered in drool, his body is a wreck and keeps repeating the word treasure over and over again.*

"Poor kid, I guess this one did it in." The police chief said.

"Yeah, I guess he was too overconfident. Every thief that steps in this room thinks that this is my treasure room but I have it behind the wall. Just in case they are too crafty, I have a gas that makes them think that there are treasures beyond belief." Inferno_Dragon says.

"Poor kid, I guess his dreams of grandeur made him blind." The police chief said while he and his boys took shinypkmnchaser down to the mental hospital.

shinypkmnchaser, he had just been Overconfident-Whacked

[Master of Paradox]

It was the day after Christmas, and Master of Paradox was in his officer, pretending to work. Why he was bothering nobody knew - he was alone in the office. Still, he had other things to be doing.

At that moment, Blademaster sidled up to him. "Working hard or hardly working?" he quipped.

The response was immediate and drastic - taking his pocketwatch, Paradox looped it backward, catching Blademaster's throat before pulling him down hard, face-first, into the table.

Unproductive Whacked.

[Blademaster]

OK, Christmas is over. Time to be creative again.

------------------

Blademaster stood outside later that day, rubbing his cheek as he put the finishing touches on his Mario-shaped snowman.

"Got a potato for a nose... aaaaaaand... there! Now all I need is a cap!" Blade announced, grinning smugly.

Just then, a dark figure stepped up beside him. It was darktyranitar.

"Hey, Blade." he said. "Cool snowman! But where's his cap...?"

"Right here." Blade replied, holding up a white cap and sticking it on the snowman's head.

"...Why isn't it red?" darktyranitar asked, sounding disappointed.

"Because this is a Fire Mario snowman." Blade replied, holding up an orange tulip and sticking it in the snowman's hand.

With a distinct Mario power-up sound, the snowman's hands glowed with flame; fireballs shot from them, pelting darktyranitar.

With a power-down sound, darktyranitar shrunk to half his size. The next fireball made his eyes and mouth fly open; arms and legs spread out, he flew up a foot in the air, then fell off the path, accompanied by the classic Mario dying tune.

darktyranitar x0

GAME OVER

------------------

Fire Flower-whacked.

[Shadow Wolf]

Next, a random thing to do.

Louis: "Hey Blade! Can I do something random?"

Blade: "...NO!"

Louis: "...OK!"

(thinks: "Hmm what to do?")

*looks through the net*

"...OK!"

*shinypkmnchaser takes 2,146,420 topics, by putting them into a huge book and squashes Master Of Paradox with the book*

Louis says -"That is the wikibook! How uncreative... but it can be useful for learning stuff!"

Wiki-whacking!

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Mikachu: Inferno_Dragon, are you a coward?

I_D: No, why do you ask?

Mikachu: Let's play a game, then. It's a simple fantasy strategy game. If I lose, I'll give you my life! However, if you lose, you'll have to play a penalty game.

I_D: Sounds like fun!

Mikachu produces the board, and hands the manual.

Mikachu: I play as Finland, you play as Sweden. You have two cities, Stockholm and Uppsala. I, on the other hand, have Turku and Helsinki. This game is based on turns and we can recruit troops and build new buildings in the cities. The units move and fight as thrown with the dice.

I_D: I start by recruiting a Warrior unit in Uppsala.

I_D throws the die once. It's six.

I_D: How I move it six steps correct? Then I start building a Dragon Lair. And in Stockholm, I recruit another Warrior and start building Shipyard.

Mikachu: Dragon Lair takes 10 turns and Shiyard 5 turns. Now I recruit a Dragon...

I_D: What? You already have Dragon Lair?!?

Mikachu: Yes, Turku has no buildings at all, so it's just fair. I'll throw the die 7 times.

It's altogether 39!

Mikachu: Now I can attack Stockholm! You can defend by throwing dice twice with your warrior.

I_D gets altogether 9.

Mikachu throws dice 5 times and gets altogether 19.

Mikachu: Stockholm is mine! You lost your capital city and the game. Now you'll have to play the penalty game.

Mikachu turns the radio on. It's 'Finlandia' by a Finnish composer called Jean Sibelius. Suddenly, Inferno_Dragon finds himself in World War II, in the middle of a fire exchange between Finnish and Russian troops. I_D enjoys a quick death.

[Master of Paradox]

Something small and ovoid falls from the sky, bouncing twice before landing at Crazy Elf Boy's feet. He picks it up out of curiousity and gives it a look.

It's a small egg-like object, studded with closed eyes and mouths.

"Huh," Crazy Elf Boy mutters, turning it over. An unexpected sharp edge cuts his finger, and he curses and blood seeps into the object.

At that point, two of the eyes begin to open, and the sky starts to turn dark.

As Crazy Elf Boy begins to get a bad feeling about this, the egg finishes its changes, now looking like a screaming face. The sky begins to open up...

And as the demons descend upon him, Crazy Elf Boy realizes all too late what is happening. This isn't an egg he holds. It's a behelit.

Godhand Whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Your turn Mikachu Yukitatsu to get whacked.

"I'd like to thank everybody that came to my birthday party." Inferno_Dragon said.

*This was happening inside a big mansion with most of the TPM members. There was mr_pikachu, Dark Sage, darktyranitar, Lady Vulpix, shinypkmnchaser, Blademaster, Crazy Elf Boy, Master of Paradox, Fett One and a bunch others. Only one was missing but that didn't matter.*

"Now time to open presents." Inferno_Dragon said.

*The camera turns to a large pile that is clearly stacked to the ceiling. Then there is a smaller pile.*

"What you think I am that greedy? For every present I unwrapped, one lucky guest will get a present that I got them." Inferno_Dragon said.

*Suddenly, the door burst open and there was Mikachu Yukitatsu. He was confused and baffled. He turned towards the room. He saw the presents and then he saw Inferno_Dragon.

"Rats, not only did I almost forgot about I_D's birthday, but I forgot his present." Mikachu Yukitatsu thought to himself.

"Mikachu Yukitatsu, why are you late?" mr_pikachu asked.

"I slept in because my alarm clock didn't work. I accidently ruined my computer so I didn't see the reminder that I_D's birthday was today. Good thing I had my IPhone for that but then I forgot to bring my present." Mikachu Yukitatsu said nervously.

"That's okay. These things happen. You can bring me your present tomorrow. Why don't you open that present at the top of the small pile?" Inferno_Dragon said while trying to not to act so evil.

*Climbing the ladder, Mikachu Yukitatsu picks up the box and said "This one?" Inferno_Dragon shook his head yes. Mikachu Yukitatsu opens the present to reveal a snowglobe. Strange, Mikachu Yukitatsu thought, why would he give me a snowglobe? Just then a small hole appears on the snowglobe. Then a gust of wind pulls Mikachu Yukitatsu into the snowglobe. Inferno_Dragon catches the snowglobe and puts it beside his char.*

"That will teach you to be forgotfull. I will let you out once I get my present but for now, enjoy your confinement. Oh, enjoy the snow."

*Inferno_Dragon shakes the snowglobe causing not only to snow fall but Mikachu Yukitatsu receives several injuires.

"Now where was I? Oh mr_pikachu's present ... let's see what he got me for my birthday."

Mikachu Yukitatsu, you have been snowglobe Whacked.

[Blademaster]

Blademaster checks something off his checklist.

"Everyone's present and accounted for... Except him." he muttered. "But how can I appropriately whack... ...Ah... I've got it!"

With an evil laugh, the orange-robed swordmaster pulled out his cell phone and began making some calls...

*******

Master of Paradox is on his lunch break, watching MUGEN on Youtube, when the door to his office swings open; a man whose very being just screams 'I'm bored.' enters, a revolver in his hand.

"Hello," he says in a monotone voice, "I'm Ben Stein. And today, I'm going to make history... By shooting you in the face."

He aims and fires, blowing a hole through MoP's forehead and splattering his brains on the wall behind him.

"...Rtyffhnyfshjbmmdyjsgdkdktsjhjdldlkllkf..." MoP babbles, eyes rolling back in his head.

Ben Stein calmly blows the smoke off the barrel of his revolver and then pockets it, staring at his braindead target.

"So..." he says, smiling just the tiniest bit, "Who's gullible now?"

------------------------

Congratulations, Paradox. You have won Ben Stein's whacking.

[Shadow Wolf]

*After seeing Blademaster beating up a dude after calling him Richard Simmons, shinypkmnchaser asks Crazy Elf Boy what would've happened if Louis would've called Crazy Elf Boy Richard Simmons*

CEB-Nothing, since I know you would be joking!

Lou-OK, then I will call you Elf Will Ferrel!

CEB-Now you've done it!

*CEB tries to punch Louis, only to get his punch caught by him. Louis kicks CEB high into the air and then disappears and reappears in front of CEB. Louis firmly grabs CEB and with a shout, Lou begins to spin while grabbing CEB. They both begin to descend head-first, and before touching the ground, Louis plunges Crazy Elf Boy into the ground with an earth-shaking Izuna-Otoshi*

Lou-It is done!

"Izuna Drop-whacked."

[Master of Paradox]

Watching the fight between Louis and Crazy Elf Boy, the Master of Paradox gets an idea. He steps back into the shadows and waits.

Having finished off his opponent, Louis looks around for further enemies. At first he sees none... until a voice calls out from the corner.

"So you've mastered the moves of one Vega... but now you will taste the wrath of the other!"

It takes Louis a second to catch on; soon enough, however, he remembers how they changed the names around in America. His stomach turns over.

"Oh, damn."

Master of Paradox steps out of the shadows, dressed in red military finery and with a cape around his body. He hurls the cape aside, and purple fire bursts into being around his hands.

"PSYCHO CRUSHER!"

With one motion, he hurls himself like a human torpedo at Louis, the fire burning over his entire body. This living projectile blows through Louis's stomach, sending the upper and lower halves of his body in different directions.

Bison Whacked.

[Inferno_Dragon]

Master of Paradox, you are next.

*Master of Paradox arrives at a park that is giving away free pokemon. At the stand is Inferno_Dragon just yawning.*

"How can you yawn like that?" Master of Paradox asks.

"Because you are my only customer." Inferno_Dragon says.

"Well, I am. Here, give me my pokemon now." Master of Paradox says impatiently

"Okay, since you asked for it" Inferno_Dragon said while he pushed a button.

"Where is my pokemon?" Master of Paradox asks angrily.

*Inferno_Dragon points up and there is a Snorlax plummeting from the sky heading down where Master of Paradox is standing. Master of Paradox tries to move but his feet are stuck.*

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

*SQUISH! That was the sound of the Snorlax landing on Master of Paradox. Inferno_Dragon walks heading towards another part of the part where he is actually giving away free pokemon without cause of injury.*

Master of Paradox, you have been Snorlax Squished-Whacked.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

darktyranitar, did you know I study Spanish, too. And I already can say my name!!

Me llamo Mikachu.
My name is Mikachu.

"Halt, Señor darktyranitar, unless you confess that in the entire world there is no damsel more beauteous than the empress of Haapavesi, the peerless Maarit Matilainen!" Mikachu raised his voice.

"Show her to me! Even if her potrait shows us that she is blind in one eye and that blood and brimstone flow from the other, despite all that, to please your grace, we wil praise her in everything you might wish." darktyranitar answered.

"Nothing flows from her, but amber and delicate musk!" yelled Mikachu and lowered his lance and charged darktyranitar!! darktyranitar was hit bad by the lance nd stampled by Mikachu's horse.

darktyranitar, whacked by Mikachu de Cervantes!!

[Shadow Wolf]

"So you've mastered the moves of one Vega...

Actually, I didn't knew Vega did this. I know this throw because Ryu Hayabusa has it in DOA and in Ninja Gaiden.


*After speaking this, Louis picks up both CDs (the Ninja Gaiden and the Dead Or Alive CDs) and hurls them at mikachu, knocking him out*

C-Ds whacks.

[Master of Paradox]

Gonna be trouble
Baby I'm your trouble man

As the sounds of rock music reverberate over the Pokemasters forums, Mikachu Yukitatsu looks around himself, not sure what exactly is happening. He returns to his typing, just as a shadow falls over him.

Want a fighter come on
Don't you understand

At that point, a deep voice intones, "Come on, baby..."

There is a puff of smoke, and once it clears and Mikachu is done coughing, he looks down... only to find a rather impressive set of breasts on his chest. "The hell?!?" he shouts in a very feminine voice.

Then he - or shall we say she - realizes what has happened. Whatever that voice was, it's turned Mikachu into a woman.

She spins around, and then sees the figure standing by the window. Before she can react, he blurs up to her, grabbing her throat.

I'll give you double!

The figure's eyes glow red, and suddenly the skin of Mikachu's neck tears. Her jugular breaks, and blood flows from her neck into the figure's waiting mouth.

As her blood drains away, Mikachu shrivels into a mockery of herself, soon being just a dessicated husk in the man's hand. He tosses her aside, wiping off his mouth.

Baby I'm a trouble man!

Darkstalkers Whacked.

[Blademaster]

"I've missed THREE potential whackings. No good, no good..." Blademaster mused, flipping a page on his clipboard. "The regular cast is all here... I suppose it's time to start the REAL whackings."

Blademaster's finger slid down the clipboard, stopping on a specific name.

"Ah... Inferno_Dragon is next on the list..." he said, smiling evilly. "I'll have to thank Master of Paradox later for serving as my muse on this one..."

He pulled out his cellphone and flipped it open, dialing a rather ominous number:

'(666)-826-7473'

...RING...

...RING...

...RING...

...RI-

Click.

"Yes?"

"Yeah, it's Blade."

"Blade? ...Oh. You. You've got some nerve dialing this number."

"I've got a little problem I'd like to take care of."

"Why should I help you? I despise your kind."

"I know. I want you to kill one of them for me. He calls himself 'Inferno_Dragon."

"...Hahahahaha... I'm not a mercenary, you dolt. Why should I dirty my hands dispatching one human at a time when my top agent can slaughter you in mass numbers around the clock?"

"Because this one is a Belmont. A DEFENSELESS Belmont. Just thought you'd be interested."

"...Defenseless?"

"Defenseless. No whips, flames, or strings attached."

"...Hahahahaha. I'll look into it."

Click.

*******

Meanwhile, at TPM, said Inferno_Dragon is lounging around PCG, which seems... unusually dark today. A storm seems to be approaching...

No... Wait. That's no stormcloud. It's... some sort of a black mist. And it's swept past Questions Only, Pokemon Hangman... it's heading straight for Whack-a-TPMer.

"What the heck is going on over there...?" ID muses.

The ground at his feet begins to rumble. All around him, cracks appear in the earth as something forces its way to the surface. Something big...

"Holy shit...!" he gasps, running across the board at full speed. He turns around just in time to see a massive, ominous castle rising out of the ground behind him. The dreary structure creaks and roars as its spires and parapets rise into place, dust and debris falling from the structure as though being shaken off by a great, angry dog.

"What the Hell is that!?" ID gasps, doing what any intelligent man would and walking up to the castle. He cautiously steps onto the front stair...

That's all that was needed. ID screams as he's suddenly lifted off the ground by some unseen force. The castle's front gate flies open, and ID is yanked in at high speed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

ID screams as he's whisked through dismal, candlelit room after dismal, candlelit room, being yanked past skeletons, knights, zombies, bats, wild cats, monkey-like ogres, and many more such devilish creatures, flying at breakneck speeds...

Through the foyer.

Up a stairwell.

Through the mezzanine.

Up more stairwells.

Around a clock tower.

Out onto a balcony.

And finally, into a master bedroom.

ID is dumped onto the floor, a stunned wreck. He is on a faded, moldy carpet. Candles and torches line the walls around him.

And dead ahead of him is an ancient, wooden casket. Worn and rotting, the lone coffin seems innocent enough. But the black mist pouring from it says differently...

"Hahahahahahaha..."

ID nervously picks himself up, feeling like he just got off the most twisted roller coaster on Earth.

"Wh-who said that?" he asks.

His only response is a sudden outpouring of black mist from the casket, which condenses in front of him, forming a humanoid outline. The mist details itself, forming arms, legs, vague facial and genital features... But before it can fully take shape, a dark brown cloth flies from out of nowhere and wraps itself around the figure, forming into a robe.

Only the figure's head remains exposed. It is a man's head, likely in his 40's. He has stringy white hair and a short beard and moustache of the same color. His skin is a deathly grey, and his eyes are a glinting yellow.

He smiles a wicked smile, revealing two small fings.

"Welcome, young Belmont..."

ID stands trembling as the figure raises one clawed grey hand and reaches into his cloak.

"Welcome to Castlevania!!"

ID can only scream as the Dark Lord rips his cloak wide open, revealing an infinitely black abyss within; a fraction of a second later, a barrage of hellish red fireballs is unleashed from the Count's chest. The blazing orbs consume ID's body, burning his skin and flesh away from the bone and reducing his skeleton to ashes in seconds.

The Lord of Castlevania simply closes his cloak, then pulls a phone from it and dials a number. As he does this, he smiles slightly, sighing in both content and a sense of forlornness.

"If only they were all that easy..."

--------------------------------------------

Whacked. By Dracula.

[Shadow Wolf]

After mr_pikachu welcomes Louis to his home and fulfills the tradition, he invites Louis to fulfill another Christmas tradition.

"Louis-Please, no more traps!-he begs to Brian."

"Brian-No worries!"

As they both approach the Christmas tree, Brian tells Louis that the main tradition must not be forgotten. The Christmas gifts are set to be given.

Louis begins first by giving mr_pikachu his gift. Brian does not wait and opens the big box, revealing two other gifts.

"Brian-Two gifts!? Thanks Lou!"

"Louis-Hey, you know how we do!"

Brian opens the first box, revealing a new Hangman Randomizer.

"Louis-I know you are probably adapted to repairing the Randomizer again and again, so I thought of giving you another one, so you don't have to repair the broken one."

"Brian-Wow! That's...cool Lou. Thanks!"

With a disappointed look, Brian stares at the randomizer that Lou made, realizing that Lou has a lot to learn about randomizers. But when he sees the second gift, he puts the randomizer aside and opens the second gift, revealing a weird object with a single button. Brian wonders what is the mystery object that Los gave him.

"Lou-The real surprise lies in the button. "

Without hesitation, Brian presses the button, but nothing happens. As Brian wonders where is the surprise, he hears some kind of heavy objects hitting the roof of his house. He steps outside of the house only to realize that he made a terrible mistake, as he is squashed by more than a thousand randomizers falling from a nearby plane.

"Lou-I told you, you won't need to repair the randomizer, mwahahahahaha!"


*Insert funny title here* whack!

[Inferno_Dragon]

Blademaster, since I have whacked everybody here, it is your turn. You are my first in my second round of whacks.

"Whacked by Dracula? Of all the nerve, I think Blademaster needs to be taught a lesson."

*pulls out a cellphone and starts dialing some numbers. The phone rings for a while.*

"Hello? Yes, it is me, Inferno_Dragon. Vacation went well? Magma Islands was a good idea of mine, right? Oh you went to the Villian's Resort Planet. Well, I did give you those coupons a year ago. Now listen, I did a favor for you by spending all that dough. Now I need a favor from you. The target ... Blademaster. Really, he wants to join. Didn't know that you were friends with him. Well the more the merrier."

*Blademaster is resting in the Orange Islands drinking a Strawberry Daquiri. He had black shades on and is listening to music on his IPod. Suddenly, the sky goes dark and the sea turns to Lava.*

"Okay, I have to be hallucinating. Water just can't turn into Lava and the weather reports said that it was supposed to be a good week. What could do this?" Blademaster asked.

"Yes, what could do this indeed?" Said two voices.

*A dark whirlwind started to form right in front of Blademaster. Then he saw something come out of the Lava Sea. Blademaster couldn't tell what it was but he could see red glowing eyes. The whirlwind stopped and the lava dropped off to reveal ...

"Bowser and Ganondorf! What are you two doing here? Team Rocket is shut down, Aqua and Magma are extinct and Team Galaxy is a thing of the past. There is no body here to compete with."

"Who said we are to compete with anybody?" Bowser said with a smirk."

"We have orders to get you good." Ganondorf said with a chuckle.

"Who would do this?" Blademaster asked while shaking.

"I don't have to reveal his name but you should know. Now time for action since we have wasted valuable time." Ganondorf said while approaching Blademaster.

"Wait him? I can pay you double, triple whatever he is paying I can match it even further." Blademaster said while trying to barter.

"You don't get it. Ganondorf is simply trying to make sure that he owns no favors and this way we both win. So how shall we do it? " Bowser said.

"I think I know how." Ganondorf said while pulling out his sword.

"I like the way you think." Bowser said sticking out his claws.

"STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Blademaster yelled.

*Bowser lunged at Blademaster and swiped his claws across his chest. Then he kicked Bladedmaster towards Ganondorf. Ganondorf then used his sword to stab Blademaster a bunch of times at different parts of the body. Then Ganondorf tossed Blademaster towards the ground. Bowser jumped and turned his spiky shell towards Blademaster. Bowser dropped down and rammed his spikes towards Blademaster.*

"Can you help my wipe my shell? My claws are easy but it is so hard to clean this shell of mine." Bowser said to Ganondorf.

"I will if you help me clean my sword." Ganondorf said to Bowser.

"You know we make a good team. We should team up together." Bowser said to Ganondorf as they started to walk along the beach.

"Link and Mario will not know what will hit them. Maybe I can persuade Inferno_Dragon to join us. Want to hit the juice bar? It's on me." Ganondorf said to Bowser.

"Sure, all that work makes me thirsty." Bowser said with a chuckle.

Blademaster, you have been whacked by Bowser and Ganondorf.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

shinypkmnchaser: I like DOA, too.

Master of Paradox: You are not the first one who makes fun of my gender...but it's as funny as always.

Blademaster: That's quite long, yet interesting, I'll print this and read it when I have time.

shinypkmnchaser: I give you two lines here, to say, I am going to whack mr_pikachu now as well, although you may have guessed it.

Inferno_Dragon: That was very amusing.

Now, come turn the page!

http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/8061/img272ot8.jpg

#-1 1/4 mr_pikachu, whacked by me copying your very own fic!

[Blademaster]

"That... was just awesome." Blademaster said bluntly, applauding the comic he just finished reading. "Mikachu wins the Most Original Whack Award."

Blademaster drives the point home by picking up a perfectly normal trophy, and then whacking Master of Paradox over the head with it. Upon completing this simple task, Blademaster hands the dented, slightly bloody trophy to Mikachu.

"DA WINNAH!!" Blademaster exclaims, holding up Mikachu's free hand like a referee.

----------------

Whacked. By originality.

[mr_pikachu]

*drops Times Square ball on Blademaster's head*

2008-whacked.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

"What!" wonders Blademaster. "Snow everywhere. And why am I wearing these clothes?"

"Welcome to Lappland, Blademaster." greets Mikachu, who has similar outfit. "This is a Lappish national costume. We are going to have a shaman-or-something battle."

"Well, despite the snow, it's quite dark. Should we cast a light spell or wait for morning?" asks Blademaster.

"It is midday. It's winter and we are above Arctic Circle." explains Mikachu. "Shall we begin?"

Both of them start beating witchdrums with bones. Blademaster can feel the ancient wisdom of the land. He summons a meteor! But right then, Mikachu throws his witchdrum at Blademaster! Summoning interrupted, the meteor changes direction and hits Blademaster!!