The Daily News

[classy_cat18]

There's actually a fair bit of good news today, so while we're at it... his penis belongs to me.

Shoot. She would've had better results with a hot curling iron.

[Jeff]

I'm not going to ask how you know that.

Anyway, how many more idiots posting their potentially illegal antics to MySpace is it going to take before they figure out that might not be the best idea?

[mr_pikachu]

I'm not going to ask how you know that.

Fire attacks are super effective against Lil' Pika. *whimpers*

...

Distraction time! Bush defends 2 tumultuous terms in farewell speech.

[Magmar]

Kentucky fried whores!

[Heald]

The British Women's Minister is trying to push through a law that will mean that women that perform ludicrous acts upon their partner will be absolved if there is alleged infidelity. Note the term 'alleged', and now you have given every married woman in the country the right to mutilate their husbands if they simply say 'He was cheating on me!'.

I can't wait to have to wear a penis-guard while I'm in bed!

[classy_cat18]

How about their partner's property? Nothing says "revenge" like a blown-up plasma screen TV during the Super Bowl.

EDIT: Or World Cup. Whatever strikes their fancy.

[Heald]

To be honest, I doubt a woman has even been sent to prison under this fascist government.

[Ultimate Charizard]

They do but theyre all working class, of mixed race or have done something incrdibly brilliant to swindle money out of people but then got caught cos they cant control those silly 'female hormones' and worried theyre pretty little heads off. Havent you seen Bad Girls? lol.

[classy_cat18]

Women don't have it so easy in the U.S. I watch Snapped; some women are more nuts than Miss Penis Torcher.

In other news, what happens when you don't watch A Christmas Story.

[mr_pikachu]

I reported on this one a few months ago, but new developments demand a new update.

Zimbabwe unveils $100 trillion banknote

The new 100,000,000,000,000 Zim-dollar bill would have been worth about 300 US dollars (225 euros) at Thursday's exchange rate on the informal market, where most currency trading now takes place, but the value of the local currency erodes dramatically every day.

The move came just one week after the bank released a series of billion-dollar notes, which already are not worth enough for workers to withdraw their monthly salaries.

Inflation was last reported at 231 million percent in July, but the Washington think-tank Cato Institute has estimated it now at 89.7 sextillion percent -- a figure expressed with 21 zeroes.

All you aspiring economists out there, take note... YOU CAN'T STOP AN ECONOMIC COLLAPSE BY PRINTING MORE MONEY!

[Magmar]

http://www.wftv.com/news/18503521/detail.html#-
Some kid got arrested for... throwing a taco at his mother.

[mr_pikachu]

In today's world, you can sue for being served a hot cup of coffee - and win. Our legal system is so messed up that no bogus punishments should surprise us anymore.

[Drago]

http://www.wftv.com/news/18503521/detail.html#-
Some kid got arrested for... throwing a taco at his mother.

And yet women could potentially get away with penis-mutilation. Sweet as. MUTILATE HIS PENIS, MA!

[Crazy Elf Boy]

My one possible contribute to this thread ever is this story (Yes OMG Windows Live messenger finally popped out a story which is interesting to me) The Top 10 most banned Cartoons, guess which is number 1

http://www.yourtv.com.au/news/?i=152429

[mr_pikachu]

You ought to post that one in GD, CEB. It's been awhile since we had a thread about the banning of Pokemon. ...I think.

[Toxicity]

New fauna discovered off Tasmanian shores, but warns of natural changes which might kill certain species.

I guess I'm just a person who cares for more optimistic nature stories.

[Roy Karrde]

Just off the AP Wire, Bush finally commutes the sentences of Ramos and Compean. The two border agents charged in the shooting of a Mexican Drug Runner last year and were facing 10 years in Prison.

This is something the Republicans and many Democrats were pushing for. Finally the two can get out of jail.

[mr_pikachu]

In my view, it's hard to blame Bush for that one; the whole thing with those agents seemed bogus from the start. We're prosecuting our border patrol agents for trying to keep an illegal immigrant from sneaking drugs into the country? Really?

The question is whether Bush will be signing away any other sentences in his final day. Some are still predicting he'll protect Roger Clemens from perjury charges... frankly, if he does that, I'll lose what little respect I had left for him.

[Roy Karrde]

The only ones I see left will be the CIA Interrogators who carried out less than legal interrogation methods in the months after 9/11. And maybe some of his staff that were following the orders of their superiors. Really nothing as controversial as some of the pardons of the last few Presidents.

[mr_pikachu]

I didn't see this until now since I don't browse the Fox News website very often, but... 22-Year-Old Sells Virginity Online -- and Feds Can't Do a Thing to Stop Her

A 22-year-old woman is selling her virginity online — offering her body to bidders nationwide in an auction that reportedly has netted a $3.7 million offer — and the law isn't doing a thing to stop her.

[Blademaster]

.......

Going to Nevada.

Brb in a month.

[Heald]

So if she gets raped, is that, like, stealing?

[Mew Master]

... Like... fuck.

[Jeff]

*Looks at picture*

She's a virgin?

...

In that case, hey guys, I'm selling my seat in Congress!

[Mew Master]

Actually I think it's honorable that she's raising college funds for herself and her sister. And it's in Nevada, where such an activity is legal, therefore the Feds can't stop it. Just because we get advertisements about Brothels in Nevada doesn't make it illegal if we go there and have some fun because of said advertisements, eh?

It's also consensual, so... yeah. Not much anyone can do to stop this.

[classy_cat18]

Is that even her real picture?

[mr_pikachu]

Is that even her real picture?

...Why do I get the distinct feeling I should have better things to do than look up pictures of a virgin hooker?

[Heald]

Pictures 1, 2 and 5 make her look hot. Pictures 4 and 5 (the Tyra pictures) make her look like a fat big-nosed skank.

Still, my current gf is hotter than this skank, so no.

[Jeff]

Pictures 1, 2 and 5 make her look hot. Pictures 4 and 5 (the Tyra pictures) make her look like a fat big-nosed skank.

My thoughts exactly. So would the hot pictures be considered false advertising?

[MToolen]

Does pic 2 look slightly photoshopped to anyone else?

Also, I understand your sentiments, Heald. My fiancé is also hotter than her.

[Mew Master]

My GF tis the hawtness ^^

[mr_pikachu]

This is starting to devolve into the old "Would You Tap That?" thread.

...Do we need to revive that one? It's been gone for awhile.

[Crazy Elf Boy]

I really don't think she is a virgin, I mean come on 22 in college with a body like that *cough* scam.

[mr_pikachu]

Now that we have a new thread for discussing "tappability," I'd like to direct your attention to David Stinson, a high school football coach who has been charged with reckless homicide for the heat stroke death of one of his players during a practice session.

The primary analyst in this video argues that the coach is fully responsible for what happened to the kid and should face punishment. I (and the opposing analyst) point to the temperature: 94 degrees. I'm sorry, but if you can't take that kind of weather - that's a cool summer day in most of the south - you shouldn't be playing football in the first place.

What was Stinson supposed to do? If he had to freak out every time the weather got a little warmer than room temperature, his only option would be to dump the kid so that he could actually hold a practice. And considering his condition and medications (which apparently contributed to his death), I guarantee that Stinson would've been fired and/or sued for discrimination.

[Heald]

I agree. While 94 in the UK is rather hot, I can understand if you're used to that weather, then I guess that's not so bad. While this is tragic, this coach is hardly responsible. If the kid felt unwell, he should have sat out. If the coach made him carry on despite the kid clearly being unwell, then he'd be liable, but there is no evidence here to suggest that.

[Jeff]

I really don't think she is a virgin, I mean come on 22 in college with a body like that *cough* scam.

Well, looking at those pictures from the Tyra show, I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

But if she does this again, I'm calling bull.

Anyway, on the football thing, I agree, if the kid was taking medication that dehydrated him, he should have been aware that playing a sport that involves the wearing of heavy gear during the hottest days of the Summer would be risky. While the coach should be responsible for giving the kid water, the kid should also have been responsible for asking for it in the first place.

[Heald]

Some real news, for once:

BBC refuse to show humanitarian appeal

The BBC is, by law, non-partisan and impartial, and therefore never makes any opinions on any of the news stories it broadcasts. It is the only broadcaster refusing to show a humanitarian film asking for donations in order to help the thousands of Palestinians whose lives have been destroyed by the wanton actions of Israel. It is citing its impartiality clause as the reason, stating it did not want to appear to take sides.

I want to call bull on this. You can still be impartial and still advertise a humanitarian effort. There is no pro-Israel or pro-Palestine message here; take out the politics and you have thousands of innocent people desperately in need. If it was any other country that had bombed Palestine into oblivion, then the BBC would jump at the chance, but the fact it is Israel makes all the difference.

I'm not against Israel, but their actions in the last few weeks haven't really done them any favours.

[mr_pikachu]

Iran: Men vs. women soccer game draws punishment

Perhaps I'm insensitive for saying this, but the only real surprise here was that none of the people involved were beheaded.

[Roy Karrde]

The 1 Trillion + Dollar "Stimulus" bill has passed, with all the pork it contains. The vote was at 244-188 right before it was gaveled, with no Republican voting Yes. At the last moment 2 votes were switched to make it 242-190, with either two Republicans switching, or two Blue Dog Democrats switching. Either way, with nearly if not all Republicans voting No, well as another website put it: Either way, for good or ill, this is entirely the Democrats’ baby now.

Edit: Confirmed on CSPAN, not a single defection on the bill for the Republicans, all voted No.

Additional Question: Has Obama now lost his Political Capitol with a bad treasury pick, and a horrible Stimulus plan?

[Blademaster]

Additional Question: Has Obama now lost his Political Capitol with a bad treasury pick, and a horrible Stimulus plan?

Additional additional question: Are we gonna have to hear about this kinda crap EVERYTIME something happens from now until January 2013?