<Game> Twisted Wishes v.6 (M.A. LV)

[Fett One]

Granted, instead of stealing and teaching it to yourself, firepokemon goes ahead and teaches it to you and charges you $550 per lesson

I wish to listen to some music right now

[MToolen]

Granted. Polka starts blaring very loudly through your entire neighborhood. Your neighbors eventually try taking you to jail but it just will not stop.

I wish for a cool hat.

[firepokemon]

Granted, you get a cool hat and everyone compliments you for it. Not only that but others start to buy the hat as well. Unfortunately, there is some strange side effect, while cool looking the hat causes your hair to fall out. Soon you're Mr. Unpopular and eventually there's gonna be people after you.

I wish to not recycle.

[Fett One]

Granted, by not recycling you end up causing to much pollution which ends up destroying all life on earth

I wish for a 3 Stoogies movie

[MToolen]

Granted but they hire terrible replacements and try to emulate the Joe DeRita years.

I wish for a kitty.

[Duo_Washu_III]

Granted. You obtain a stolen lion cub, whose mother isn't that happy with you. Hope you're resistant to disembowelment!

I wish I could play the trumpet.

[Fett One]

Granted but you end up playing it non stop, which causes your hands to become disfigured

I wish people didn't get sick

[MToolen]

Granted; mortality and fatality rates fall, then spike upward as people overcrowd Earth. Eventually, a combination of the millions of jobs lost by pharmaceutical companies and physicians and gross overpopulation leads to a collapse of the economy as newly elected President Obama insists on unemployment benefits for each doctor out of work and baby born.

I wish acne didn't exist.

[mr_pikachu]

Granted. Everyone dies before reaching puberty, and everyone who has already hit puberty is burned alive. Well done.

I wish that people could choose their own height and weight at will.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but I wanted to grant Fett One's wish.

...

Oh me silly, I grant Toolen's wish. Granted, but I have acne and after it disappears, I become super happy. I finally get a girlfriend but she doesn't like TPM so I'll have to choose between quitting TPM or her leaving me. Tough choice.

EDIT: Hey but mr_pikachu posted. Granted, but all of them choose the wrong heights and weights because even they aren't perfect.

I wish I could finish a fanfic.

[Duo_Washu_III]

Granted. They end like Dr. Strangelove, and your characters ride nukes into the sunset.

I wish I could wield gargantuan swords with ease akin to Devil May Cry.

[Fett One]

Granted but the swords are super glued to your hands making it impossible for you to put them down

I wish Disney would release the entire series of Gargoyles on DVD

[firepokemon]

Granted, the entire series of Gargoyles is on DVD. Unfortunately, its in French and therefore you probably can't understand it. There is also an English DVD but its missing 10 episodes and the other episodes are scratchy and the audio is crap.

I wish certain writers would have chapters in their books. It makes it far easier to read.

[Duo_Washu_III]

Granted, although there is a chapter every three pages, and have no tables of contents, so it's just slightly less confusing than before. Maybe if you've got a good writer he'll make quips for the chapter names like "That one where they go to the store" or "Going down the Street", though that'll get old quick.

I wish I had a tiny chest hand like the vortigaunts of Half-Life, so I could nail those solos in Rock Band.

[Fett One]

Granted but that hand can't be used for anything else

I wish to own the most powerful computer on the planet

[firepokemon]

Granted, you now have the most powerful computer on Earth. Only problem is it uses some insane operating system that is incompatible with most other computers and for some weird reason its glitchy as hell and has to be restarted constantly. Furthermore, you should check the electricity usage. As I think you'll find that your power bill has gone up immensely.

I wish I had a powerful computer that had a good operating system, that wasn't glitchy nor did it cost much to use.

[MToolen]

Granted, but it has half a gigabyte (512MB) of RAM.

I wish it weren't so darn hot at band camp.

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. Don't think I'm going to say something like there is cold, I say your internal system greatly changes and you'll feel cold while the others fell hot. And in turn, you feel hot when the others feel cold. So you are stuck in this reverse feeling and never know what to put on when you go outside.

I wish for a free dinner today.

[Duo_Washu_III]

Granted. It's poisoned!

I wish I were older so that I could legally buy Mature games. Darn if I'm not close, but whatever.

[Fett One]

Granted you are now 100 years old. You are now old enough to buy any game you want but too old to play them

I wish to be able to fly

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. You got wings. However, some activists think people shouldn't have wings and try to kill you. Fortunately, they aren't so good with shotguns. Anyway, then they use some food as a bait. You are reading my TPM reply right now and you know it's a trap so you don't go there either. But then you don't watch your back too much when you are reading TPM and somebody comes and cuts your wings off.

I wish for a Psyduck.

[Duo_Washu_III]

Granted, but the instance you get it, it evolves into a Golduck and disobeys your commands and mostly attacks you instead of your enemy.

I wish for... Neil Patrick Harris.

[MToolen]

Granted, but it turns out he's a gross, stinky man 98% of the time. You must also take him for walks, give him treats, and pick up after him.

I wish for a huge budget for every high school's music program.

[Fett One]

Granted but every other program gets cut in order to provide that budget

I wish schools never had to worry about money

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but school buildings have no soul, thoughts, feelings or anything already.

I wish I could steal every single wish MToolen has made and they all became true, but only for me.

[MToolen]

Granted. People treat you no different for a distaste of chocolate, even if you don't have such a problem. You have control over the weather. You have the ability to beat a Final Fantasy. Pinky and the Brain finally take over the world. You don't have to go to work today. You get free college. Ska is more popular. Tennis is also more popular. Acne doesn't exist. You get a pear. You get a very comfy couch. Heath Ledger didn't die. Playing sousaphone doesn't hurt your shoulder. TV ads are less cheesy. You get a cool hat. You get a kitty. Acne... still doesn't exist (didn't know I wished that twice). It isn't so darn hot at band camp. Finally, every high school's music program has a huge budget. Soon, though, you realize that this world is too perfect and jump off a clocktower, waking up at the moment before impact and realizing that you, Bruce Wayne, were simply tricked into the fantasy world by the Mad Hatter.

I wish Hilary would just give up already.

[firepokemon]

Granted, Hilary goes away from public life, the media and the Democratic party but here goes Bill Clinton. "I did not have a sexual affair with that women", he replies to Youtube audiences.

I wish for New Zealand to do well at the Olympics.

[Duo_Washu_III]

Granted. They do so well in fact, that they become like the Harlem Globetrotters and travel the universe, shaming every planet in their wake. Also, they fly around like Marvel Zombies after they ate the Silver Surfer.

I wish again for Observational skills like Adrian Monk.

[Fett One]

You become so observational about the things around you that you stop paying attention to the important things in your life such as friends and family

I wish to possess the power cosmic

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. First off, you try to make yourself smaller but accidentially your head becomes huge and everyone laughs at you, you try to change stones to food but when you try to eat them they don't taste good, you try to teleport the Earth further from the Sun to nullify the Clobal Warming but accidentially teleport a black hole near our beloved planet, in spite you save it by teleporting it back, you still try to create a force field around the Earth to protect it from meteors scientists told about, but it's all made of glass for some odd reason. A while ago. you made a portal to teleport the black hole to another dimension but now you go there too incidentially. You find yourself in another universe and try to contact them by means of telepathy and telekinesis, but the creatures don't understand you, your cosmic awareness is too big and they are abrsorbed by the black hole. The sentient life you created is too soppy driven only by emotions, you try to resurrect the aliens killed by the black hole but end up manipulating mortal souls and manipulating the memories and emotions of others. Your new home planet gets closer and closer to the black hole and you have to leave it. You try to rebuild it but then you realize this post was too long and you die before you have read this.

I wish I had made an explicit twist to that one.

[MToolen]

Granted. You start writing the wish in Finnish halfway through; when translated, it rickrolls us.

I wish I had caught more fish this weekend.

[Duo_Washu_III]

Granted. You hooked Leviathan, and you were crushed upon trying to get it in the boat.

I wish for a Sig Sauer P228 just for the darned heck of it.

[Fett One]

Granted, you steal one from a federal agent. You get to keep it for a few hours at which point you get caught and go to jail.

I wish to know a million people

[MToolen]

Granted. The process takes five years of nonstop handshaking, after which your arms literally fall off.

Well, good wishes go bad, how bad can bad wishes go? I wish everyone died.

[Duo_Washu_III]

Granted. We're all zombies, and like in Shaun of the Dead we go back to our primal instincts- Checking TPM.

I really hate soap operas, but I usually call life one. I wish I had calming elevator music to accompany me everywhere so nothing ever was truly intense or annoyingly emotional.

[Fett One]

Granted but you can't sleep at night because the music keeps you up and you can't go see movies any more because the music interrupts the movie which makes everyone in attendance mad.

I wish another star wars flight simulator game would get made (there hasn't been a new one since X-Wing Alliance came out)

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted, but some Final Fantasy fans who aren't as intelligent as I think it copies Final Fantasy XII.

STOP USING FINAL FANTASY

AHHHHHHH

I wish we hadn't gimmicks here at TPM. (not referring to the quote of course)

[MToolen]

Granted but our conversations become so sophisticated that we become snobby.

I wish for a cool siggy pic thing like Mikachu's.

[Fett One]

Granted but Mikachu Yukitatsu steals so that he can have 2 cool sigs

I wish people wouldn't steal stuff

[Mikachu Yukitatsu]

Granted. Instead, they repeat 'Gimme that, gimme that!' forever annoingly so you eventually give up and give them what they wanted anyway.

I wish I memorized every single move in Tekken (a fighting game series, in case you didn't know).