It Still Sucks to be Us! (STARTS! Limited LSUs)

[Asilynne]

Good stuff guys, very sexy XD

~~Jane Fox~~
Shes crazy....like a FOX!

I wasnt quite sure what was going on. Everything was happening so fast, it was almost as though the world was acting in such a way so that nobody really had time to thi-----
"GET DOWN!!!!" Suddenly the giant dragonfly we were flying inside dipped low, as an explosion ripped the sky above us. We all hit the floor hard, and suddenly had to hang on tight as the insect swerved violently to the right to avoid another explosion. And this was exactly the sort of thing I was talking about. Although I was always prepared for any sort of danger, the truth was nothing major ever really happ----
"Another one coming on the left MOVE MOVE!!!!!" Brigh shouted in Roys ear as he directed the giant dragonfly, sweat gathering on his forehead.
"Dammit you guys!" I shouted, leaping to my feet and balling my fists up, trying to keep my balance amidst the rocking of the floor. "Im TRYING to have an inner monologue here!!"
"Theres no time!!" Meiya, the girl who was the prisoner of the fire ant before, spoke with drama in her voice. "Look!! Mariah is stuck down there! Shes going to be k-k-k-k---"
"Killed..." the fire ant said offhandedly. I gave the Fire Ant a glare. "You dont have to sound so happy about it FIRE ANT!" I yelled at him, looking around the cabin for something, anything I could use. (As if Drake sounds happy about anything XD) Thinking fast, I grabbed a rope that was laying in the corner and looped it around my waist. As if on cue, some strange music began to play, as I hooked the other end of the rope to the dragonfly's feet. "Quick Jack!" I yelled, standing at the opening and looking down at the ground. "Give me your shirt!"
Jack looked bewildered. "But w----"
"THERES NO TIME!!!!!" I yelled, catching the shirt as it flew towards my outstretched hand. With one fast motion I ripped it in half, and wrapped each half around my hands. Hanging on to the edge of the rope I wasnt attached to, I gave everyone in the dragonfly a sober look. "If I dont make it back alive....please kill the Fire Ant for me." The Fire Ant slapped his forehead as Jack stared wistfully at his shirt. "That was my only shirt...."
I grinned devilishly. "Ill make you a new one out of the skins of my enemies!" Giving one last salute I pushed off with my feet, my hands wrapped around the smoking rope as I fell along its length. Reaching the end I grunted slightly as I momentarily lost my breath, then I focused on the ground below me. "Fly lower!" I yelled, the dragonfly responding by flying lower to the ground, sweeping near where Mariah was fighting for her life. In an awesome dramatic moment I caught her just as she was about to be overwhelmed by superior numbers. Swooping over and above the masses of deadly Ants, we swung ourselves to try and avoid the rain of arrows Brigh liked to call "bullets". Mariah looked down at the ground and then back up at the dragonfly and shrugged. "So, what happens now?"
I thought for a minute. "Well, normally they show a shot of the heli--I mean, dragonfly, flying off into the sunset, and the next scene we are already in safety, so Im not really sure. Maybe our loving friends will work together and pull up back up into the cabin."
A chorus of voices came from above. "Not happening!!!"
I sighed. "Well then I guess we climb up. You first..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
XDDD Sorry if it sucks Im not good at action type stuff. Ill get us into the next genre when its time, Ill let everyone have their fun with action for now though XD

[Blademaster]

Mariah and Jane are in trouble? Oh noez! How will they be rescued?

The only way Roy knows how...

Roy

"Another one's coming on the left! MOVE, MOVE!"

Roy jerked the chopper sideways, a rocket rushing between the supports of the chopper, just barely missing the underbelly and the tail.

"On the right!!"

Roy jerked the chopper the other way, his forehead beading with sweat as several streaking blips of light that could only be machine gun bullets whizzed by the cockpit.

"W-we gotta get out of h-here!" Meiya cried. "We're t-totally outclassed!"

"What about Jane and Mariah?!" Alex shot back. "We can't just leave them down there!"

"INCOMING ON THE LEFT!!!"

Roy yelped as he jerked the chopper sideways so hard that everyone behind him fell to the floor. Including Brigh, who slammed her head rather loudly against the co-pilot's dash, stunning her.

"Oh, thank Kratos." Roy sighed to himself. "I hate freaking backseat players..."

KABOOM!!!

Cries of fear and surprise rang out as the belly of the chopper was grazed by a rocket, flipping it and causing it to detonate inches from the hull. The chopper lurched back, its tail sputtering sparks as it came loose and bent down at a dangerous angle.

"Oh, shit..." Drake growled.

"We're gonna crash!" Steve yelled, pulling out his Pokeballs and throwing them. "Magikarp, repair our ship with Flail!"

The half a dozen red fish croaked and flopped around, occasionally batting at the damaged wall of the chopper but otherwise doing little to prevent its downward spiral.

"That's the way, team!" Steve cheered obliviously, pumping his fist. "Keep it up!"

Roy struggled to keep the chopper steady, reaching into his pocket with his free hand.

'Come on, come on, where is it...?' he thought, lips shaking as the ground began to get closer and closer. 'Come on, come on... keys, Game Boy Advance SP... PSP 2000... wallet... cell phone!'

Roy grabbed the phone and flipped it open, quickly dialing a number.

4-8-2... 5-5-5... 0-1-0-0...

Roy hit "Call" and held the phone to his ear; it rang once...

BLEEP!

The chopper jerked back upright abruptly, its damage magically healed.

"Way to go, team! You did it!" Steve cheered, dancing a jig much like his Magikarp (They were actually just flopping around gasping for air, but that's beside the point.).

"Phew..." Roy muttered, wiping his brow and turning to his colleagues. "Close shave, huh?"

"How'd you do that?" Jack asked, dumbfounded.

Roy grinned sheepishly.

"Cheat code."

Everyone was silent for a moment, trying to wrap their minds around what had just transpired...

It was then that the second rocket hit, ripping through the cockpit and blowing the chopper - and its inhabitants - out of the sky.

------------------------

You're up, Ben.

[Mystic_clown]

Jack Scarecrow
-----------------------------------------

Jack was just about to ask Roy is he possibly know a god mode cheat before suddenly a rocket slammed into the chopper. Unfortunately, Roy’s healing earlier didn’t stop this one from utterly destroying the cockpit.

“We’re going down!” Brigh cried out, grabbing hold of something as the chopper spiralled into the ground. Everyone was tossed about as the chopper exploded, sending debris everywhere, but otherwise leaving our heroes intact (because if a simple helicopter crash killed them, this would be one hell of a short RPG).

Jack’s head was pounding as he slowly climbed to his feet numerous cuts and bruises over his patchwork body from the crash (because while our heroes can’t die, injury still applies).

He looked around groggily, trying to find his friends. “Jane!” he called out, “Roy! Brigh! Drake! Guys!” His calling finally stopped when he spotted the body of Roy, laying motionless under some rubble. “Holy crap! Roy!” Not too far from him was also Jane, slightly bloody and also, not moving. “Jane!”

Jack dashed over to the two. Neither showed signs of moving. A sickening feeling rose within Jack’s stomach.

“No….”

Jack didn’t seem to notice the soldiers coming up behind him until a gun barrel was placed against the back of his head.

“Freeze dirtbag!” the soldier smirked, as two more walked to either side.

“Wow, I’m surprised anyone managed to survive that,” the solider chuckled, “This stitched up punching bag must be made from some tough stuff.”

It was at that point that one of the soldier’s noticed that Jack hadn’t turned around or anything. In fact, he was actually trembling.

“Aww, look, I think we’re scaring him.” one of the soldiers teased.

-------------------------------------------------
*Cue Sirens*

Attention! Attention! Now entering M15+ mode
-------------------------------------------------

The soldiers’ chuckling was suddenly cut off when the sharpened end of a wooden cross suddenly caused one of the soldier’s skulls to cave in, sending blood, bone fragments and other fleshy head giblets onto the ground. The two soldiers jumped back to see Jack, now turned around, large bloody cross in hand and an insane, feral look in his eyes.

“Jesus freakin’ chr-“ The soldier couldn’t even finish as the long end of the cross impaled him, lifting him into the air before slamming him down hard against the third.

Jack’s mad eyes then focused on the small platoon of soldiers coming towards them. Gripping his bloody cross tightly, he let a mad, almost demonic roar at them, his voice taking on a double toned quality.


Jack's gone batshit! Prepare for mass slaughter.

[Bear]

Fisherman Steve
~~~~~~~~~

After the crash, the group of former neighbors lay strewn about the ground, most of them unconscious from the fall. As Steve opened his eyes, still hazy from the shock of the impact, he glanced around at the motionless bodies of the others. He tried to piece together what had just transpired in his mind.

"Ok, so we were in the helicopter...and then I sent my team of Magikarp to repair it...and then it was fixed...and then the whole thing blew up...and now we're here, in this...desolate forest?" Steve said slowly to himself, examining his surroundings. He then heard voices, and looked over to his left. A few hundred feet away he could see Jack, conscious but scuffling with those strange soldiers. Before he could move, he heard several *click click* sounds from behind him.

"Hands up, fatty." barked the unmistakable voice of a bad guy, "And don't even bother trying to bring those fish into this. We know your moves, and they're useless!"

At this last remark, a grin suddenly crossed Steve's face.

"What? What are you smiling about?!" the soldier asked him impatiently.

"You know my moves huh? You must not know my team very well, then." Steve said, chucking all 6 pokeballs to the ground. Out sprang the Magikarp in brilliant little flashes of light.

"You fool! Do you really think those little fish are any ma--" the soldier began to yell, but stopped short as he saw what was before him. The rest of the platoon of soldiers stood motionless as well, mouths agape at the sight they beheld.

Each Magikarp was wearing a little green bandana, camouflage face paint, and was armed with a little AK-47.

"Once again, you have underestimated my elite team of Magikarp! We are prepared for EVERYTHING!" Steve roared, throwing his fist into the air to command the fish to open fire. Within seconds, the entire group of soldiers was wasted.

"Yes! You did it! Well done team!" Steve celebrated, dancing triumphantly in the circle of dead soldiers. He quickly regained his composure though, and turned back to the direction he saw Jack.

"I have to help him! CHAAAAAAAAAAARGE!" Steve yelled, commanding his little Magikommandos forward.

[Crystal Tears]

After my slightly longer than planned hiatus, I am back. :3 Sorry it took me so long to post.

Drake

He had decided, in that very instant as consciousness returned to him, that he hated flying. This entire scenario had gone from bad to worse, exactly what right did that old man have to say that he had to save the world with *these* people. And who the hell had said that Roy could fly the damn thing? Wouldn’t it make sense for, oh, Brigh to fly it? Even if she was insane, she would be better than the damn gamer. The Dragoon groaned sitting up slowly, the world returned him and so did a very large headache.

There were gun shots all around, and ever so briefly one of the soldiers dared to approach the elf. Drake looked at the man curiously, one eyebrow slightly raised as the rifle was pointed straight at him.

“Hands on your head!” The soldier ordered, though seemed oddly nervous about it. He sighed, bringing his hands indeed to his head, only to his temples as the headache grew.

“I’ve seen this in a movie.” Drake spoke, looking up at the man, though he looked like a teenager. “You die.”

“Is that a threat?” He growled, or whimpered… The Dragoon was having trouble deciding which.

“No.” Drake shrugged, and noted how his sword was missing again. Perfect… Came the sarcastic note in his head. “No, it’s a fact really.”

“F-fact?”

“Yes, it’s a fact.” He shrugged. “People like you die in movies from either shooting too early, or hesitating.” The soldier blinked, and his guard lowered. Drake rolled his eyes. “But see, you’re not going to die from either of those two facts.”

“I’m not?”

“No. See, while you were too busy talking to me, you failed to notice her.” He pointed behind the soldier.

He swiveled around just in time for Brigh, large machine gun in hand, to smile wickedly. “Say ‘ello to my little friend!”

Drake winced a little as the bullets tore straight through the soldier and blood splattered on the Dragoon’s face.

“You alright??” Brigh questioned, hopping over the corpse and looking the Dragoon up and down, not waiting for his answer before shoving a rather large pistol into his hand before bouncing off. “Look for the others! Take no prisoners! THEY’RE ALL COMMIES!”

She seemed giddy as she bounced over a heap of metal and went, guns a blazin’, into a large group of so called ‘Commies’.

I don’t know whether to be impressed or scared.

But seeing as she seemed (key word, he thought) to know what she was doing, Drake chose to more or less follow her instructions. He’d look for a very select amount of people who didn’t drive him insane and help them. All the while embracing the fact that they didn’t need to take prisoners, they were always a waste of time anyways.

Smoke rose into the air as the Dragoon moved to the left, searching through the debris and tossing it behind him. It seemed that the soldiers were concentrated on the other side of the crash site. Which was preferable, while Drake did like combat; he didn’t have his sword at the moment, and he hated getting shot. It stung and sometimes bullets were a pain to remove, and he’d be damned if he asked anyone in this group to help me. He’d end up dead by one of them somehow managed to turn a swab cloth lethal.

“Urgh..”

Drake paused, ears twitching he turned. Following the faint groan to its source with his eyes, there was Alex, lying on her back, slowly coming back to reality. The Dragoon frowned, well, there was one person. At least someone who was completely insane had lived through the crash. As she began to move, the man noticed one key fact.

A large piece of metal, barely managing to hold up a fallen tree, was collapsing. Of course, this wouldn’t be such a problem if Alex wasn’t exactly where the damn thing was going to crash down onto.

GOD DAMN IT

He rushed forward, dropping the gun and sliding down. Alex’s eyes widen as her eyesight finally returned to normal and saw was coming to try and kill her. Drake could hear her take in a deep breath of air to prepare to scream, a scream that she wouldn’t have time to make if the rubble landed on her.

But she did, and Drake heard it. Loud and clear, as he just managed to grasp the sharp metal edge and take the entire weight of the plate and rather large tree onto his arms. Which protested, as did his ears until that sharp sound finally ended. Drake had his eyes tightly shut, his headache had turned into a migraine and his hands (and arms) absolutely abhorred his heroics as now there were in an unreasonable amount of pain and discomfort.

PAIN

“Sweet Jesus mother a pearl never do that again…” He growled through gritted teeth.

“D-Drake??” She sounded surprised.

“Yeah…” He exhaled, straining. “It’s me.”

LOTS AND LOTS OF PAIN

“Oh… Oh! Are you okay!?”

“Alex not to point out the obvious but in my current predicament you better be alright or I swear I’ll drop this.”

“I’m alright darlin’, just a little spooked.”

Drake let out a snarl in protest, and began to lift. Slowly Alex came into view, who looked a little amazed that the man was even able to lift any of this.

“… Hi.”

She blinked. “Howdy.”

“Alex…” Drake ignored the blood dripping from his hands. “I honestly don’t mind you staring at me, but this isn’t exactly the best time…”

“Right!” She scurried out from behind the metal that Drake let go of once she was clear. He then decided it was time for his break, and so he slumped for a moment. Watching with little interest as is hands healed, but the throbbing pain the metal had caused them remained. “You sure you’re alright?”

He smirked and turned back to her. “What was it you said?” He rolled his eyes and stood up slowly. “Peachy-keen.”

She smiled, and picked up the gun he had dropped. “This yours?”

“You keep it.”

She tilted her head.

“I-“

OW.

There was a loud bang, and Drake stepped forward a bit, wincing and looked very irritated. Alex’s jaw dropped a little as the Dragoon’s hand became engulfed in flames. He whirled around, not even thinking that it could’ve been an accident and flung a fireball towards whoever had shot him. On contact the flames seemed to expand, and consumed the shooter before sending him flying back as a burnt corpse.

“Hate guns.”

They made their way back towards the primary group, Drake had found his sword buried under some of the rubble and now twirled it happily, finding that most of the soldiers had been dealt with accordingly (they had to deal with a couple here and there but nothing major). Both he and the cowgirl stopped as Fisher Steve whirled around, his Commando-Karps at the ready (and apparently suffocating).

“Whoa.” Drake put up his arms jokingly. “Don’t shoot us, King of Karps, we’re on your side.”

[Asilynne]

I know twf its the same post, but I added on to the end and since I was the last one who posted I decided this would be easier ^-~

~~Jane Fox~~
Dont ask "How"...
It had become a bloodbath...
Bullets thundered through the air, striking the remnants of the helicopter, causing a terrible sound and throwing dust and smoke into the air. An unholy howl joined the sound of metal on metal as a giant cross swung through the air, blood following in its wake with every pass. Anger, fury, and grief filled the cry, and other cries joined it, these of fear and pain. But the soldiers kept coming, and though bullets occasionly struck the undead man which killed the soliders with such wild abandon, he did not slow, and he did not stop. However, though he fought with all his undead heart, he was only one man. And that man was growing tired, the forces would eventually become too many.
Just as he faltered with the cross, sweat pouring down his face and bleeding from a few wounds, a bold soldier stepped forward and pointed his gun right at Jacks head. "Well looks like your running out of gas, strawbag!" The soldier sneered, his finger milimeters away from pulling the trigger...
When suddenly in the blink of an eye he gurgled, a hand going to his neck where a crude wooden spear was deeply embedded. His eyes bugging out in surprise, he tried to speak before falling to his knees, collapsing to the ground in a bleeding, twitching heap. Gasping in pain and surprise, Jack turned around, whispering hoarsely.
"Jane...."

I walked over with a grim face and pulled my spear out of the insects neck. Flicking it to the side to shake the blood off I unwound one of the cloths that were wrapped around my hands and wiped the blood off, before turning back to Jack. "Are you ok?" I asked, a bit of my guard down enough to show my concern. He winced as he stood and grabbed me by the shoulders (because just like in movies suddenly there arent any enemies to get in the way of a scene like this XD). "Jane..." he said, his eyes wide with surprise. "Youre alive!! But how?!"
I thought for a moment. "You know, I have no idea. One minute I was hanging from a rope under the Dragonfly and the next I woke up just in time to see that insect about to shoot his stingers at you. I guess this sort of thing always happens in action movies so I was allowed to wake up just in time for this dramatic moment."
Jack and I stared at each other for a moment, before we both blinked. "...Hey Jack? Whats a movie anyway? And why did I say that?"
Jack looked confused. "I guess youre just breaking through the fourth wall, thats what this rpg is all about after all." We blinked again and Jack shrugged.
But before I could come up with some paranoid rant for why neither of us were making any sense, the others showed up and proceeded to dispatch the remaining insects. When all was calm again (for the moment), we all briefly took in our surroundings. A forest, pieces of the forest floor still smouldering from the wreckage. Dead insects and their blood littered the ground. Looking at the insect closest to me I remembered something. Kneeling down I began to take off his shirt, before tossing it to Jack with a cocky grin.
"The skin of my enemies..."

Suddenly since in action movies no one is allowed to have a very long time to rest (there it was again, how do I know these things?) Brigh's Pocket Cricket rang. She took it out and answered it, her face going from perplexed to angry and finally to a huge grin as she crowed into the Cricket. "Commies?! Yes ma'am I accept! But if you are sending cars to come pick us up youll have to send a lot! Ive got my whole team here." She listened again and a confused look got on her face. "Well, funny thing is Im not quite sure where we are, we are in the middle of a forest since our helicopter crash----"
Before she could finish a roar rang through the woods, as a fleet of shiny black "cars" with tinted windows thundered across the forest floor towards us, dodging trees with uncanny accuracy and kicking up dirt and moss as they zoomed by. They squealed to a stop near us, sliding sideways and the doors flying open for us to leap inside.
"Hurry!" Said one of the drivers. "The Commies are on to our position, they will be here in a matter of moments! Get in!" As if to punctuate his statement a hail of gunshots rang out as another squad of cars began to charge towards us. Brigh, Jack, Roy and I leapt into the nearest car as everyone else followed suit in other cars. Clutching my spear in front of me, squeezed in between Brigh and Jack I yelped. "There is so much I dont understand!!!!"

Brigh laughed and gave me a friendly slap on the back. "Whats there to understand? ITS CAR CHASE TIME!!!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rawr I hope that doesnt suck, Im not in top shape atm, tired XD
Also youll notice I added onto it, thus the new post ;D

[Mystic_clown]

Jack Scarecrow
--------------------------------------------

Before Jack could get a single bit of rest, he found himself thrown into a car, sped off and now shot at. Well, at least he was being shot at in style.

“Ok, just let me ask one thing,” Jack spoke up over the sun of gunfire, “Why the crap are they shooting at us?”

“Because they’re communists!” Brigh shouted out, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “They’ve had it out for me ever since ‘Nam, those slimy bastards!”

“Vietnam? Brigh, this is 2009! You’re about 25! How the heck were you at Vietnam!?”

“There’s plenty of time for questions later!” Brigh shouted, “What I am curious about though is why Jane’s carrying around all those army fatigues. You only need one!”

“They’re the skins of my enemies!” Jane shouted out proudly, firing an arrow at one of the pursuing cars.

“You know, I’m kind of surprised you didn’t actually skin then,” Jack smirked.

“I’m not a sicko! They’re our fellow human beings!”

“…and yet, you think Drake’s a giant insect.”

“But of course! Have you ever seen a human like that!?”

“He’s an Elf!”

The small argument however was cut off when an explosion occurred right next to their car, causing them to swerve.

“What the hell!?” Jack shouted, “Do they have rocket launchers or some…thing…”

Jack’s jaw dropped when he saw a small group of tanks following them at top speed.

However, Jane didn’t see it that way…

“Elephants!” she screamed out, “now the elephants are trying to kill us!”

Despite the situation, Jack couldn’t help but sigh.

“They’re not elephants.”

“Yes they are! Look! They’re big, grey, and have trunks!”

“That’s not a trunk. That’s a gun barrel, and they’re grey because they’re made of metal!”

“Elephants in armour!”

Jack sighed. “I’m never going to get through to you am I?”

“Nope.”

[Bear]

Pokemaster Steve
~~~~~~~~~~

As all of them crammed into a speeding getaway car like Mexican landscapers into a Chevy Nova, they quickly realized the escape would be a tough task. Before long they determined they were being pursued by a small fleet of tanks (or armored elephants firing 8-inch shells). As Steve attempted to push Brigh's knee out of his stomach, he gave another order to his Pokemon.

"Magikarps! Take care of those guys behind us!" Steve shouted. The rest of the group watched as the Magikarps flopped up onto the roof of the car and began to build little turrets with sandbags.

"Are those..........sandbags??" Drake asked, thoroughly perplexed.

"Where were they keeping them?" Jane continued, also confused.

"I told you guys my Magikarps are the best!" Steve responded with a grin.

"But I thought you'd never won a battle in your life?" Jack asked him pointedly. Steve's grin faded.

"Hey! Pokemon is different ok? It's SRS BSNS!!!" Steve shouted defensively. The entire carload of heroes (including the car itself) sweatdropped. Meanwhile, the Magikarp had finished digging into their turrets and began to open fire on their pursuers. However, everyone quickly realized that something was missing.

"How are they supposed to combat tanks with AK-47s? Their armor is too heavy to pierce!" Brigh exclaimed.

"Aaaaagh! They must have left their RPG Launchers at home!" Steve yelped, still being the only person not surprised by the Magikarp's extensive hammerspace of weaponry and supplies.

"Well, they're not going to last much longer up there if we don't do something." Drake interjected, looking around at the group.

"Don't worry, I'll handle this." Brigh shouted, climbing out the window of the car and onto the roof where the Magikarp were.

"What are you doing!? You don't have any weap--" Steve began to shout at her, but was cut short as he watched her pull a massive Rail Gun seemingly out of nowhere.

"Playtime's over for you jackasses!" Brigh screamed at the tanks behind them, kicking one of the Magikarp out of its turret. "Karp karp KAAAAAAARPP!!" the Magikarp flopped into the air, flailing its little fins wildly.

"Magikarp return!" Steve shouted, catching the airborne Magikarp with a beam and recalling it into its pokeball. He returned his attention to Brigh, who had taken over the vacant turret previously occupied by the Magikarp. Brigh knelt down and took aim at the metal behemoths in pursuit of their tiny car.

"FIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE!" Brigh yelled, slamming down on the trigger and unleashing a barrage of depleted Uranium shells at the tanks. The explosions that followed shuddered through the area, rattling everyone in the car.

"Dddddddoooooo yyyyooooouuu thhhiiiinnnkkk thhhaaaaattttsssss gggooooonnnnnaaaaa wwwwoooooorrrrrkkkkk?" Jane choked out through the heavy vibrations. Everyone turned to look back, watching Brigh's ammunition rip through the tanks like a hot knife through butter, leaving nothing but smoldering sheet metal and debris in their wake.

"IIIIIIII tttthhhiiiiinnnnnkkkk wwwweeeee'lllllll bbbbeeeeee fffffiiiiiiiinnnnnneeeeee...." Drake said after a brief pause. Before long Brigh ceased fire, as all of the tanks had been completely demolished or retreated. As the vibrations stopped, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Brigh climbed back into the cramped car, a triumphant smile on her face.

"I don't think they'll be bothering us anymore." she said.

[Kuro Espeon]

I think it's about time we wrap up the Action genre so we can move on to something new! Let Brigh do the honors. :3

Brigh Dangerfield

“Well, that sure was exciting!” Brigh exclaimed as she lowered herself back down into her seat, a look of smug self-satisfaction plastered across her face.
“Speak for yourself…” Jack muttered, attempting to put out the small fire that had caught on one of his straw-filled arms due to the various sparks emitted from Brigh’s over-dramatic frontal assault. “But… at least we’re out of the woods for now.”
“Actually, Jack, I think we’re still IN the woods,” said Jane, pointing out the window to the trees that were still whizzing by at top speed. Jack sighed and rolled his eyes.
“No, Jane. It’s a figure of speech.”
“Oh….well, it’s not a very good one if you ask me!”
…….-_-;;

“GUYS!” Brigh yelled, regaining their attention. “You’re forgetting the most important thing! We completely and utterly decimated our enemies! Victory is ours! The Gem of Incredible-But Never-Really-Explained-Powers is practically within our grasp!” She took on a dramatic pose to illustrate her point.

“How can you be so sure?” Jane asked, her eyes darting back and forth suspiciously, as if a hoard of angry, giant apes would suddenly appear in the back seat of the car at any moment. Brigh couldn’t believe her comrades could be so faithless. So pessimistic! So…so….cliche! However, she couldn't really fault Jane too much for her fears, since Brigh herself was about as paranoid as a retired race horse in a glue factory. Whatever that meant.

“Hmm…” she said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully, “Jane has a point. We may have won this round but can’t let our guard down, even for a moment! The enemy may have more tricks up their sleeves that they can throw at us at any second!”
“Yeah,” Roy agreed, “Maybe we should go back to a Save Point, just in case.”
“A…what?” Brigh blinked several times. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing! In a suddenly fit of rage (an increasingly common scenario with her) she leapt forward and grabbed Roy by the front of his shirt, shaking him like a rag doll.

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! This is WAR! There are no ‘safe points’ on the battlefield!!”
“Save points,” said Roy in between shakes.
“SHUT UP! Don’t correct me!”

Just then the car suddenly lurched to a halt, sending the passengers in the car bouncing around like proverbial pin balls. After they had recovered, each with their own set of bruises and bumps, Brigh clamored forward and grabbed onto the driver’s collar, shaking him much like she had just been doing with Roy.

“Hey, buddy!! What’s the big idea slammin’ on the breaks like that!”
“I’m sorry, Miss Dangerfield,” the driver replied, “But I can’t go any further.”
“And WHY’S that??”
“Because,” he explained, pointing out the front window, “There’s a plot point blocking the road.”

Brigh dropped him and peered out over the dashboard. Standing in the middle of the road was a short, rather portly man in a clean white suit and dark red tie. His black hair was slicked back in a very gangster-like fashion and his goatee was neatly trimmed but still rather cheesy. And in one hand, for some unexplained reason, he held a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon. The entire cast of characters piled out of the cars and formed a line that resembled a battle rank, staring down the mysterious mob man with dangerous glares.

“Well, now, that was quite a show. I congratulate you all on making it this far. However, this is as far as you go, I’m afraid.” The man swirled his wine glass in a very stereotypical motion.
“Who are you?!” Drake demanded, growling.
“Me? Why, I’m surprised you have to ask, my good man. My name is Victor Giovanni and I work for The Council.”
“Giovanni?!” Fisherman Steve cried out, suddenly tensing and reaching for one of his Pokeballs. “The leader of the dreaded Team Rocket??”
“….Team What Now?” he replied, blinking in confusion.
“Silence, you cur!” Brigh yelled, pulling out an Uzi, “What do you want? Were you the one responsible for sending those tanks after us?!”
“Yes, it was I,” he confessed with a satisfied smirk, “Although, I found myself rather disappointed that you dispatched them so effortlessly…”

Mariah snorted at the word ‘effortlessly.’

“…Replacements will not be necessary. It is of no consequence now, as I have already found what I came for.” He reached into his coat pocket with his free hand and pulled out a small vile. Inside the vile was a shimmering sliver of some kind of gold crystallic substance. After a few seconds, realization dawned on our heroes and there was a collective gasp.

“The Gem of Incredible-But Never-Really-Explained-Powers!?!?” They all cried.
“Yes and no,” Giovanni explained, “This is merely a portion of the Gem. The other pieces have been scattered across various hard-to-reach locations.”
“Of course they have…” Jack sighed, already knowing where this was going.
“By itself, this piece is powerless. BUT, once we have gathered all of the pieces together The Council will obtain its endless power that has yet to be explained because the writers haven’t thought of it yet!”
“You’ll never get away with this, varmint!” Alex yelled.
“Oh, but my dear girl, I already have! As you can see, I have already obtained this piece of the Gem and there’s nothing you all can do to get---”

He was cut off when he felt a gun tip being pressed against the side of his head. He turned to see Brigh with her Uzi only millimeters away from his head. And in a matter of seconds he also had a spear pointed at his throat (Jane), a sword at his torso (Drake), a wooden cross poised behind him (Jack), the dot from a sniper rifle scope on his forehead (Mariah), a lasso hovering in the air (Alex), a set of teeth latched onto his arm (Roy), and a pair of flopping red fish at his ankles (Steve). Also, in the background, Meiya was preparing to lob a large, hard-back dictionary in his direction.

“ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!” Giovanni cried, wide-eyed with fear. He held out the tube containing the Gem sliver with a shaky hand and Brigh snatched it. She grinned triumphantly.

“Who says the art of persuasion is dead?” She said. She looked down at the Gem in hand, admiring its warmth and beauty. “It’s so beautiful! It’s my very own war trophy! Father will be so proud of me! It’s like a Purple Heart, only it’s gold and diamond-shaped!”

She heard Jack sigh again.

M_C: Feel free to change to the next genre. ^_^

[Blademaster]

Uh, Kuro...?

I don't recall ever saying that Roy was with the rest of the group after the helicopter crash. Or that he even survived it. You... kinda don't really have a right to take control of Roy after something like that, much less put him where you please.

[Kuro Espeon]

*raises eyebrow*.....Well, since the previous posts had indicated that all of the characters had gotten into the cars for the chase scene, and since you had not indicated otherwise that you wanted Roy to be indisposed, then I don't think it was too much of a stretch to assume he was with the rest of them.

Brigh, Jack, Roy and I leapt into the nearest car as everyone else followed suit in other cars.

And since when has this RPG cared about continuity? It's a non-sensical parody for chrissake.

If you're trying to say that you wanted Roy to be out of the RPG temporarily you should've said that. >_> If it really bothers you THAT much, I can write him out of the post...

[Mystic_clown]

Ok, I don't want a war breaking out here.

Anyway, I'll post a bit later, but for the meantime *pulls out the hat* the next genre is...

*drumroll*

...

WESTERN!

[ChobiChibi]

Meiya

The English Language and Literature Joint Honours student considers the previous words of the driver carefully as they stood around the car.

“There’s a plot point blocking the road.”

This thing actually had a plot?! Since when was it completely reasonable to go from a perfectly normal day at college, to having your home crumble around you, to being chased, shot at and take back a gem with little or no force? This was defiantly not like any book she’d ever read before and, believe me, she’d read a LOT of books.

Then again, Action wasn’t exactly her favourite genre to read.

“So... What exactly happens now?” Jack asked, breaking the silence between the group and glancing at Brigh, who was happily studying her gem.

“The Action genre is over now, right?” Meiya asked, breaking her silence. “I hate running...”

“I guess so...” Steve answered, engulfing his large, red, floppy fish in a red beam of light. “You did great, Magikarps!” He added, placing a set of red and white balls on his belt.

“Hey, where’d the car go?” Drake asked, scowling at the empty space where it once was, the group now stood in a car-shaped circle.

Meiya blinked. How was that even possible? Things didn’t just disappear like that...

Then again, nothing seemed right at the moment. She’d give anything to be back in her apartment, curled up under her duvet reading a good book. Or if her cake baking had gone successfully, maybe she’d be in Drake’s apartment, sitting on his couch, sharing cake...

She sighed, her cheeks warming a little.

“Howdy, partner!”

Snapping out of her daze, she looked up at a man dressed in a cowboy outfit sat on a kart full of hay, reigns to the horse in his hands, tipping his hat to her. “Um... Howdy?”

“You don’t look like yer from around these parts.” He commented, looking at the others. “None of ya do...” His deep Texan accent slurred and she could barely understand him.

She had nothing to say to the man, so he took a piece of hay from the kart and began to chew on one end, tugging on the reigns to signal to the horse to keep going.

Oh no... Meiya grumbled in her head, glancing over at Alex, who was talking to Drake. This must be the Western genre... I stand no chance.

She watched the kart head towards a small town, the lush green forest they were once in had disappeared and was replaced by desert and wooden buildings. She squinted to read a sign painted onto one of the buildings, a few horses tied up outside it.

“Tavern...” Meiya said quietly, ideas swirling around in her head.

She turned to the nearest person, who just so happened to be Mariah. “This predicament we’re in apparently has a plot, right?” She questioned.

The young girl nodded, huggling her sniper rifle. That was the only confirmation she needed.

“So really, it wouldn’t be an outrageous thought that it would be possible to be able to change some of the plot, right?”

Meiya’s face lit up as Mariah answered with “I suppose so...”

Taking a notebook and pen from her bag, she sat down on the dusty floor and began to scribble frantically. A shadow cast over her, with particularly pointy ears.

“... What exactly are you doing?” Drake asked as he tried to peek over her shoulder, his voice both curious and unexcited. She pulled her notebook closer to her so that he was unable to see what she was writing.

“Setting-”

“OH NO! JACK’S FALLING APART!”

All heads turned towards Jane, who was chasing after a bit of tumbleweed. Jack was stood near by, not looking too impressed with his arms folded. He let out a long, overdrawn sigh and everybody seemed to return to whatever they were doing.

“I’m setting the s-scene.” Meiya finally answered, scribbling a few more words, tearing out the page and folding it in half. With a blink of an eye, it vanished, the Almighty Gods of Plot accepting her ideas. “T-this way, I’m a lot less likely to g-get shot.”

Drake frowned. “So you’re just saving your own ass?”

“I-I guess so...” She smiled nervously as she wrote something else, tore out another page, folded it in half and stood up. “S-see you later...” She stammered as she handed the paper to Drake and ran off towards the town.

The Dragoon frowned, unfolding the paper as he watched her go. “Everything in a Western starts in the Tavern? What?!”

~~

The Tavern was run down, but in all honesty, if it was repaired someone would surely do more damage to it, as was the nature of the Wild West. It was clean and reasonably tidy, that was just the way the Landlord liked it. He was a chubby fellow, generally quite cheery with a fluffy white beard. He was on the Sherriff’s good side and that was all that mattered.

Today it was quite busy, especially with the load of new faces that appeared in the early afternoon. They seemed rather out of place, he noted, but that was quite normal in these parts, since most people were just passing through.

“Howdy!” He greeted them cheerfully, regardless of being wary of the strangers. “What can I get y’all?”

Overwhelmed by orders, he called through the door behind the bar. “Meiya, darlin’, I could use yer help.”

The name caused a few very confused expressions to appear as Meiya appeared in the doorway, her hair in pigtails wearing a red checked shirt, short blue denim shorts, cowboy boots and hat. Her plan had worked: with a few simple words, she had become the barmaid and fit right in with the genre.

She poured a drink, placing it in front of Drake, who looked very confused. “I set the scene, darlin’.”

Once everyone had settled, the landlord insisted that his new barmaid sing the punters a song, which all the town’s regulars and the very drunken passers by decided would be a good idea. It went quiet, all except for another young girl that started to play guitar.

“You’re on the phone with your girlfriend, she’s upset,
She’s going off about something that you said,
She doesn’t get your humour like I do...”

Meiya was quite surprised that everyone was enjoying this song, since they were unlikely to get the lyrics at all; there was no chance they would know what a phone was, would they? It didn’t matter, her audience seemed to be enjoying it.

When she got the chance, she glanced over at Drake, whose expression was quite hard to read. She concluded that it was pleasantly surprised; she had forgotten that he didn’t know she could sing. She moved through the tables, singing to everyone, hoping it would cover up what she was really trying to say.

“Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night,
I’m the one who makes you laugh when you know you’re about to cry,
I know your favourite songs and you tell me about your dreams,
I think I know where you belong. I think you know it’s with me.”

It really didn’t help that she kept singing to her friends, one of them in particular, getting eye contact with him occasionally. Did she really want to do this? She certainly didn’t have the courage to any other way, so this song would have to do...

She wandered back towards the bar and stood next to the guitarist as the song came to a close.

“Can’t you see that I’m the one that understands you?
Been here all along so why can’t you see?
You belong with me.”

As she finished, the whole tavern erupted with applause. She smiled at them sheepishly, a faint blush colouring her cheeks. She bit her lip, glancing very briefly at Drake before hurrying behind the bar and through the door she came from.

The Song

[Crystal Tears]

Drake

He was glad his appearance hadn’t changed much. For whatever reason whoever was controlling this horrible scenario had accepted Meiya’s proposal. Such a thing had changed his looks to a certain extent where he looked like the typical bad-guy cowboy he supposed. Dressed in dark colors despite the heat (and thankfully no stupid cowboy hat…), surrounded by a shady crowd (all of which he had no idea who they were), and found himself at the bar, sitting on a stool waiting patiently for a drink.

A drink he hadn’t ordered, but the man taking the orders had only briefly glanced at Drake before looking a tad nervous. As the others in the tavern began to want drinks and what-not, he called for help. The Dragoon watched with a bored expression as a worker appeared, who he, for the slightest of seconds, didn’t recognize.

The warrior blinked, suddenly realizing just who had served him his drink.

“I set the scene, darlin’.”

As she moved past to serve another, he blinked, unable to find the words.

A rough pat on the back nearly made Drake choke on his drink; he turned his head to the left to see that Steve had decided to sit beside him. He frowned, turning away from the fisherman (whose clothing more resemble a settlers) so scan the building again. The elf didn’t like this genre much better than the last; the only benefit to this one was, with the exception of Brigh, no one would have machine guns or rocket launchers.

He hoped.

“They didn’t have machine guns in this era did they?” Drake questioned.

“Not that I recall, was never much into watching westerns I was always-“

“Fishing.”

“Right you are! Do you fish?”

“No.”

“Not at all?”

“No.”

“A smidge?”

“No.”

“Not even a few minutes out of your day?”

“Steve I haven’t fished since I was sixteen,” Drake replied with an irritated edge. “And believe me that was a long time ago.”

Aha! But you have fished!”

“Not for…” He paused. “Whatever you have…”

“The legendary magikarp!” Steve seemed to increase in happiness at the mere word ‘Magikarp’.

“What makes them legendary?” The Dragoon questioned out of sheer boredom. “They always look like they’re suffocating to me.”

“No no, you see, that is their way of lessening their foe’s guard. It’s a brilliant battle tactic; you’re a warrior aren’t you? Haven’t you ever done such a thing?”

“Yes but I wasn’t actually dying.”

“Neither were they!” Steve’s insisting didn’t reassure the warrior in the least, but they had been useful with the guns-a-blazing routine in the action genre, so maybe they weren’t exactly hopeless. “Does Meiya sing?”

Drake blinked, and turned his attention to the stage, where his companion was looking. “I… Don’t know… Why…” He trailed off as his sights fell upon the familiar girl standing on stage, looking a bit nervous.

Then she began to sing and whether he liked it or not, the Dragoon’s ears perked up a bit. The song wasn’t bad, and he was impressed that Meiya could sing, sing well in fact. His head tilted somewhat as he watched her move through the tables, but everything still sounded perfect. Occasionally though, especially as the song progressed, no matter where she was, she ended up making eye contact with him. She almost seemed to glide back to the stage, standing next to the guitarist.

Meiya looked at Drake again as the song came to the end, her cheeks began to blush more noticeably as she sung the last verse:

“You belong with me.”

‘Subtle, Meiya. Really subtle.’

People applauded, even Drake, who was clapping a little slower as she glanced at him one more time before rushing off behind the bar and out of sight in the backroom.

“Wasn’t she great- Drake? Where are you going?” He barely heard Steve’s question as he came up to the bar entrance at the side, the bubbly owner however, stood in his way and crossed his arms.

“You can’t go back there son.”

Drake shot a glare at the man that was cold enough to faint one of those ever-changing magikarps. “Move.”

He visibly paled, and moved out of the way. Drake pushed past, holding back a growl of annoyance as he got into the backroom and spotted the barmaid.

“So…” He began, crossing his arms as he watched the girl jump. “You can sing.”

Meiya blushed as she nodded.

“Sing well, in fact.”

She smiled. “T-Thank you.”

The gap between them closed as he moved closer, she was nestled in the corner, the blush on her cheeks refusing to go away.

5 feet between them.

“So… You liked it?”

He nodded.

3 feet.

“Where’d you learn it?”

“Back… home.” She chuckled a little. “It was on the radio..”

1 foot.

A smirk appeared on Drake’s face as the space between them was tiny now, she was up against the wall, he imagined her cheeks must of felt like they were burning, considering how red they were as she blushed. She dropped her gaze and attempted to look at the floor in embarrassment, much to his dismay her head followed, dropping as if afraid. Gently though he touched her chin and guided her face so it was once again pointed at his. Her eyes opened and the Dragoon noted the jade colouring of them.

“Drake… I…”

“BEASTS!!!! HORRIBLE FLEA RIDDEN CREATURES OF HELL!!”

Drake could practically hear glass shattering, in fact he did. As Jane; dressed in garb which could only be a mixture between South American Native and Aboriginal wear; burst through the door. Crying bloody murder as she slid across the room and grabbed a slightly rusted, sawed-off shotgun from the wall.

She didn’t even see the two of them giving her glares of doom, destruction and death, not until Meiya had slid out from behind him and put a good distance between them.

“INSECT!!” She pointed accusingly at him. “Are these beasts in league with you?”

Drake gritted his teeth. “What beasts?”

Stomping into the room after were dogs, sort of ragged looking mutts who growled and barred their teeth at Jane.

Drake smiled darkly. “No, I’m not ‘in league’ with them, but hell, if they’re going to kill you…” He reached over his shoulder and grabbed the handle of his sword. “Maybe I’ll help.”

“I should’ve expected such treachery from an ant! Only loyal to your damned queen!” She pointed the weapon at Drake. “DIE!”

She pressed the trigger, but nothing happened. Jane was dumbfounded for a moment, but flipped the gun around and held it like a bat. “Fine then! Clubs were always more efficient then… Whatever Brigh called them!”

“What’s going on?” Jack question; moving in the door, behind the dogs. “Jane? What are you-“ He looked over at Drake, who had his sword drawn. “Oh jesus no.”

“Yes Jack! HE’S IN LEAGUE WITH THE CANINES WHO ARE WORKING FOR THE FIRE ANTS WHO ARE ALLIES OF THE APES!!! APES JACK!”

“How does she keep that straight?” Drake heard Meiya question quietly.

“Listen guys, you can’t fight here.” Jack attempted to cool down the situation; he nervously noted that Drake was hiding a fireball behind his back. “The locals… They won’t take too kindly to such things…”

“The locals have already tried to kill me!” Jane huffed. “The insect must be working for them too.”

“No.” Drake snarled. “I want you to die by my own free-will.”

“That’s because I oppose you’re queen!” She raised an eyebrow. “What were you doing back here anyway? Converting Meiya to the Ant Side?”

She flushed bright red and Drake narrowed his eyes, trying desperately to keep control of his spell.

“It’s the dark side…” Roy threw in, looking a little concerned about the situation. “You know; red lightsabers? Taking over the universe? Bzzzp bzzzzz” He mocked the noise a lightsaber made but stopped when Drake shot him a look.

“Thanks kid, you’re a lot of help.”

“Just doin’ my job.”

“You do it well,” He growled. “How about you go irritate a different set of people?”

“But if I stay I get to see if your fighting style is like Link’s.”

Drake blinked, “Who? No, never mind, I don’t want to know.” He turned his attention back to Jane.

Right on cue, another mad woman burst in, knocking the dogs out of her way as she stood in the center of everybody.

Brigh looked distraught. “Jack! They’re coming!” She gulped.

“Who?”

“COMMIES!”

* * *

Sorry I changed the outfits of some people, I hope you don't mind. I thought cuz she set the scene and changed we all did. Feel-free to ignore the clothing change if you don't like it.

[Asilynne]

~~Jane Fox~~
He was a cowboy once...apparently.

The "tavern" as they called it smelled more like the lair of some large beast. And indeed many of the so called "patrons" were really just large men wearing the skins and leathers of various animals, who smelled as though they didnt bathe often. All in all, it was almost like being back home on the Jungle Planet. Except these beasts could talk, even though you couldnt really understand them well.

"I never did see an injun with yeller hair before..." Looking over I saw an old man in a hat studying me curiously as he lit up a cigarrette. Everyone else seemed to be captivated by the singing of the girl the Fire Ant tried to kidnap, so I strutted over to the old man and pointed my spear at him, giving him a warning look. "I dont know what an "Injun" is but I am Jane. What are you?"

He laughed, a deep chuckling sound, as his cig bounced slightly in his mouth. Taking a big gulp of his whiskey he slammed down the shot glass and pointed to himself triumphantly. "Me? Well, I was a cowboy once.....Ive got the pictures to prove it!" I didnt see these pictures, but the mental image I got was a half man half cow, and it didnt seem like something one should be proud of.

Ignoring my confusion and slight horror the man continued. "Yep Missy, this aint no country for old men. Way out west, the gunfighter killed my darling Clementine, Ill never forget it. She was on the stagecoach at high noon, the wind blowing through her hair, and the wild bunch led by the outlaw josey wales murdered her in cold blood. It was a bad day at black rock. Folks still call that the ox-bow incident..." He paused, thinking about what he had just said. "Dont really know why though...there were no oxes involved..."

I grew bored pointing my spear at him during the story and just sat in the chair next to him, swigging his whiskey. It wasnt long before the world started feeling fuzzy, and I had almost forgotten the old man was there until he spoke again. "Listen, yer not bad for a squaw, you listened to an old man pour his heart out, and you can sure handle yer whiskey!" He laughed and slapped me on the back, before pulling out a gold coin. "Here ya go missy, little something to show off to yer injun friends. Go buy yerself somethin nice. Got that during the gold rush. Been real nice talking to you, Dances with Wolves." I was about to correct him when he went on. "Welp, gotta go meet with Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, by the way, Im the man who shot Liberty Valance!!" Cackling he stood up, revealing a pair of six shooters on his belt, and let out a whistle. Two beasts leaped up and trotted to his side, as my eyes widened. This old man was faking his old man routine! He really was in command of those animals this whole time!
He seemed to totally miss the suspicious gaze which I now gave him as he continued to talk. "Yep...lonely are the brave...ah well, Destry rides again! Got to make it to red river before....hey missy....whats th' matter?"
He finally began to notice the dark look I was giving his animals when they began to growl, clearly sensing that I was onto them and their planned violence against me. When he directed his question to me my gaze turned to him, as I stood up a bit shakily. "You...." I slurred, pointing a wavering hand at him. "You beastmaster....beasts do your bidding...trying to....to kill me...." Struggling to see straight I lifted my spear and threw it. It was off mark and off balance as it clattered against the far wall.
Destry watched it sail away and looked at me with wide eyes. "Now listen here squaw..."
But I wasnt listening, because when the beasts percieved a threat against thier master they leapt upon me and began tugging at my clothes. Letting out a howl I ran in a random direction and burst through a door to see none other than THE FIRE ANT!!!

~*~*~*~**~

"COMMIES!!"

I blinked and looked at Brigh. Or really, the two Brighs that I saw through my hazy head. "Commies? No, the beastmaster put something in my drink....he knew I cant fight when I cant see straight and he sent his dogs...."

She ignored my drunken rambling and continued. "I SWEAR they have to be commies! They all have guns and they came riding up and causing all kinds of trouble in the town. Everyones closed their doors and their windows, and I think theres going to be a shootout or a battle or an assassination or---!"
Meiya blushed and looked at the Fire Ant for a moment before calling out the door to the barkeep. "W-would anyone happen to know what time it is?"

A jumble of voices called out from the other room. "High noon!"

Meiya nodded, gulping nervously. "Yes, there will be a f-fight..."

I growled, not understanding the signifigance of what just happened. "Oh what, did the FIRE ANT TELL YOU THAT!!" I tried taking a step towards him and almost fell down, a straw filled arm the only thing holding my dead weight up. "Jane....dont." Jack said, giving me a warning look. I frowned and tried to stand, finally leaning myself against the wall. "Well what are we going to do, the beastmaster..."

"I think the "beastmaster" should be the least of your worries, folks. The Magnificent Seven is in town, and they destroy anything in their path. Someones got to stop them...."

Jack sighed and shook his head. "Why do I get the idea that 'someone' is us?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ive been wanting to write this post for awhile XD See if you can spot howmany western movie titles Ive referenced in this post ^-~

Also I cut my post in half so that Sie's post wasnt just retyped by me <3

[Mystic_clown]

Jack Scarecrow
-------------------------

Jack groaned, face palming at their situation. First their home was destroyed, then a battle with an army, and now they had to deal with a group of cowboy bandits. Being the main character of a story sucked at times.

“Well, got no choice in the matter,” he muttered, standing up and heading for the door.

“You’re not thinking of taking them on yourself?” Drake asked, all eyes turning to him. Jack spun around.

“What? Are you kidding? You guys are helping too.” Jack replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Jane staggered forward.

“I’ll go wiv you, take on thoshe beastmen…” she slurred, Jack shaking his head in reply.

“I barely trust you with a weapon when you’re sober. No way in hell I’m letting you fight drunk.

“Too bad, I’m goin.”

“I’m not going to convince you, am I?”

“Nope.”

“Damn.”

“I’ll help,” Drake offered, sword in hand.

“B-but they’ve got guns,” Meiya pointed out, worried for Drake’s wellbeing.

“Never stopped me before.”

“I’ll go to!” Brigh piped up, “You can never get enough of taking out commies!”

“For the last time, they’re not…you know what, screw it.”

Jack looked around. “Um, where did the others go?”

Meiya shrugged, “Who knows. They disappeared some posts ago.”

“Well, guess it’s just as three of us then.”

“I’m still going!” Jane protested.

“No you’re not.”

--------------*~*--------------

They were all standing in a line as they came out. Much like their name said, there was seven of them. All tough, big, and rather scary looking. They were simply walking down the street, randomly firing into buildings, smashing barrels, just having fun at the fear of the townsfolk.

They were amused when the four ‘heroes’ (Jack’s attempts at getting Jane to stay obviously failed), came out of the tavern, standing in their path.

“Well, look what we ‘ave ‘ere boys,” the man in the middle (obviously their leader) spoke up, “A patchwork man, a fairy, a drank injun, and a dame.”

Drake’s eye twitched at being referred to as a fairy, and the other four weren’t too happy to be here either.

“Why don’t you freaks run along?” another of the seven sneered, “Or are you actually thinkin’ of takin’ us on?”

Jack sighed, “Gotta do what you gotta do.” The seven laughed.

“Well, if you’re so eager to kill yourselves,” the leader pointed to a nearby clock tower, close to hitting twelve, “The instant it tolls twelve, we draw!”

“Um, I just realised,” Drake murmured to the others, “We don’t have guns.”

“I do!” Brigh chimed, pulling guns from out of nowhere, “Here!”

The seven watched as Brigh handed Jack a sniper rifle, Drake an AK, and Jane a rocket launcher (much to Jack’s dismay). They had never seen weapons like those before.

The two groups stared at eachother. Time almost seemed to freeze for them.

Then the clock tower tolled…

[Kuro Espeon]

Ok, backing up a bit since i start writing this post a while ago (before Asi and Ben posted), but I made it work. Sorry this took me so long. Western isn't really my forte so I was struggling for inspiration.

Brigh Dangerfield:

A hollow, whistling wind blew a lone tumbleweed across the dusty town road. Not a soul could be seen outside save for a solitary figure standing silhouetted beneath the main town gate. Behind the figure was nothing but a rolling expanse of barren wasteland, scattered with dried shrubs and the occasional cactus.

The clouds in the sky shifted away, allowing the sunlight reveal Brigh, clad in full Western-style Sheriff garb, complete with boots, a shiny star-shaped badge, and a cowboy hat which was currently tilted downward so that the brim covered her eyes. Her hand was resting on the frame of the old-fashioned Magnum revolver in the holster on her hip, ready to draw it at any moment if she needed to. And she knew she would need to. The enemy could arrive at any moment.

Brigh used the tip of her thumb to lift up the rim of her hat in order to better observe her surroundings, her eyes narrowed in chronic suspicion. She began to walk forward,the spurs on her boots clinking in time with her steps.
“There’s something foul in the wind, I reckon…” she muttered in a near growl.

Just then, the clattering of horses hooves interrupted the silence. Brigh spun around to face the town gate, spying a growing cloud of dust in the distance, the figures within it drawing closer and closer. Upon closer inspection, she counted seven rough-and-tough, gun-wielding, no-good bushwackers. The group rode right into town, yelping and hollering and firing their guns into the air. Brigh briefly mourned the loss of perfectly good ammunition before turning her thoughts back to the problem at hand.

”Commies…” she thought, bitterly, “They found me even here! Well, they won’t get the best of me! Or my name’s not…” *BLAM* “Jehosephat!” She cried, diving off to the side and rolling behind a conveniently placed wagon as the bandits open fired on her. “Why am I always the one being shot at?!” she cried, clutching her Magnum to her chest for dear life. She quickly realized that, as good as she was, she was going to need back up on this one…

*~*~*~*
[Insert events from previous posts here, since I don’t feel like rewriting all of them again…]

She went to get Jack and the others, stressing the urgency of the situation in the only way she knew how. Despite Jack’s insistence that they weren’t actually Communists, he decided to come and help anyway, along with Drake and Jane. After providing them with appropriate dueling weapons (in her mind, anyway), Brigh stood in a line with her comrades, ready to face down their adversaries, this so-called “Magnificent Seven.”

The clock was getting ready to strike noon, the two groups eyeing each other with intensity… all except Jane, who was trying to figure out how to hold and aim her rocket launcher through her drunken stupor and failing miserably.

Then the bell tolled Twelve.

In the blink of an eye the street was filled with the roar of gun fire… or at least it would have been if Jane hadn’t found that moment to accidentally drop her rocket launcher on its end, causing it to fire a rocket straight up into the air. All eyes watched with horror as the rocket went up, arched slightly and began to descend right into the midst of the entire group. The last thing they heard was Jack saying:

“Oh shi---”

*KABOOOOOOOOM*

Bodies went flying in all directions. Jack went flying through the window of a nearby butcher shop, Jane went smashing into the hanging wooden sign for the saloon, while Brigh ended up on the roof. Only Drake stayed on the road, managing to do a superhuman leap into the air at the last second, however the force of the blast still knocked him back and he landed on the ground with a THUD.

As the dust and debris from the explosion cleared, Brigh managed to clamor to the edge of the roof and look down. There was no sign of the Magnificent Seven anywhere. She slid off the roof and went to the middle of the road to rejoin Jack and Drake, who were all stumbling back.

“Well… that was easier than I thought. Destructive, but it worked,” Brigh said with a laugh. “Geez, and the cowboys in those old western films always made it look so dramatic!”
“I wouldn’t celebrate just yet…” Jack said, looking around suspiciously.
“Why?” Drake asked, although he sounded like he already knew the answer.
“Since when has anything in this RPG been that easy?” Jack replied with a sigh. “Besides, we still need to find the next piece of The Gem of Incredible-But Never-Really-Explained-Powers in order to get out this dimension, remember?”
“Oh…yeah… right.” Brigh scratched her head thoughtfully. “Well, I guess we’d better go get the others.”
“Wait…” said Jack, suddenly noticing something, “Where’s Jane?”

The three of them looked around and saw that Jane had apparently vanished into thin air. Only a single feather from her ‘injun’ headdress was left, fluttering in the breeze.

“Great…” Jack muttered.

There! @.@ Sorry, I couldn't think of anything else.

[Asilynne]

~~Jane Fox~~
She Who Survives...

Briefly, in the quiet, painless twilight in-between consiousness and being dead-to-the-world, I wondered if I was dead. The fire creature had once again hatched from the dangerous eggs that Brigh kept giving me, and this time I was sure that it had decided to feed upon me rather than my enemies. I vaguely wondered what the afterlife was like, before a crushing determination took over me.

"No, I am not dead, I AM JANE! JANE DOES NOT DI--ahh....." I cut my yell off as a splitting pain exploded in my head, and it was then that I wished I was once again "dead-to-the-world". I was sure it was the work of that foul drink the beastmaster had. (because theres no way that a rocket shell at point blank range would give you a headache >.> lol) I vowed to never drink anything but coffee ever again, with the exception of the blood of my enemies on occasion. As I tried to get up I came to realise I was tied with rope, and my ankles were also bound, to prevent my escape. Suddenly a voice brought my attention to the airspace above me, as a shadow fell over me.

"I knew I shoulda tied AND gagged you," the man said, dressed like one of the bandits we had fought earlier. I growled at him, but before I could make any demand or threats he cut me off. "It dont matter, not like I ken understand yer damn injun talk neither. Now, squaw, I dont like this one bit but yer the daughter of Chief Whats-his-name and so we're holdin you fer ransom." I was dumbfounded, this man thought I was someones daughter?
"My father was killed by giant apes, and furthermore I am not an injun, I am a Jane. Now I demand you release me---"

"Whoa Whoa quit yer foreign jabbering, unless you speak english Ill not hear another word from ya, She-Who-Survives." I was about to yell a string of curses at him for acting like he couldnt understand what I was saying, but the name he gave me stopped me. It DID sound like it could be my name. I tilted my head, a thoughtful look on my face. Well, cant really argue with that one.

"Anyway," he continued, apparently satisfied that I had been silenced for the moment. "What we're gonna do, see, is hold yer pretty lil yeller haired self for ransom, so that yer injun pops will give us the piece of the gem of whateveryacallit powers that hes got stashed in his injun camp. Its a foolproof plan, Im so glad I thought of i---hey!!!" He looked over at me just in time to see that I had gotten all the ropes off during his inane story and was about to steal his horse. Apparently I was getting careless because in one quick motion, he flicked his wrist and sent a lasso of rope around me, pulling me back over to him where he grabbed me roughly.

"The only thing is, you arent allowed to escape, try another stunt like that and me and my posse will put a bullet in that pretty lil yeller haired head o yers." To illustrate his point, since he obviously believed I couldnt understand him, he cocked his gun and put it against the side of my head. While usually I would try a daring escape and somehow survive it, my head really hurt! So I decided it was safer to just stay put at the moment.
I quickly decided my captors new name was Spider, because he wrapped the lasso rope around me so fast as if he were a spider wrapping up a meal. While I wasnt entirely sure if he would eat me or not, I wasnt putting anything past him. Tossing me to another of his spider friends, he shouted something about putting me on the cooks horse.

~*~*~*~

I soon discovered that the "cook" was none other than Fisherman Steve! "What are you doing here?!" I shouted at him upon seeing him. He grinned, seemingly unaware that we were prisoners, and pointed at himself with his thumb. "Well these good fellows here were hungry, and so they brought me along to fish for them. I told them how good I am at fishing and you know what? THEY APPRECIATE FISHING almost as much as me! They said if I come with them I could fish for them forever."
I stared at him with narrowed eyes, not believing what I was hearing. "Are you sure they didnt say you HAD to stay with them forever and fish for them or else they would kill you? And anyway we are in the desert!!! WHERE are you going to fish?!" Fisherman Steve looked indignant, clutching his fishing pole to him like it was a precious thing. "Well whos the one tied up JANE?! These guys appreciate me! And anyway," He puffed out his broad chest and grinned widely. "Im a master fisherman! I can catch fish anywhere! Even and especially in the middle of the desert!!!!!" He laughed heartily and I sighed, wondering how my situation could get any worse.
I wasnt even sure if the others had survived, or if they were going to be able to find and save me, but all I could do at the moment is sit and wait for a good time to escape alive, preferably with Fisherman Steve. But there was one plus side to all this.

I knew who had the shard, and the sooner we got that the sooner we could leave this dangerous and confusing genre!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

K hope thats ok with you James lol TAG group!

[Asilynne]

~~Jane Fox~~
Fisherman dont make good company...

"So....how long was this plan of yours supposed to take anyway?" I sighed boredly, watching as Spider played cards around the fire with his friends. Fisherman Steve was off somewhere...fishing...I supposed, and true to his word he still managed to catch fish in the middle of nowhere. I had long since given up trying to figure out the reasons for this madness I found myself in. Something horrible must have happened to everyone...thats the only reason they wouldnt have come for me! I cant stay around here waiting anymore... I glanced at Steve, who was returning from another absurd fishing trip. He cant be trusted, he likes Spider and his gang too much. I will have to leave him for now and rescue him later.

Standing up I addressed the group of Spiderfriends around the fire. "Well its been a fun two months guys but I think its about time I left you all---" Before I could finish Spider interrupted me. "No squaw jabber, She-Who-Survives, just get to cooking our dinner!" He gestured at the fish as Steve smiled proudly. I growled deep in my throat at the traitor Steve before I got an idea. Why the hell didnt I think of this before?! Forcing a smile (which looked more like a grimace) I nodded and got to gutting a preparing the fish. Before skewering them on sticks and setting them to roast I took an herb out of my pouch, heavily "flavoring" them with it. Taking out a different herb I flavored Steve's seperately, and once the fish was done cooking I set about serving the men. Now all that needs to be done, is to wait....

It wasnt too far into the night that it began to take effect. I was awoken from my nap to the sounds of yelling, followed by shooting in the darkness. Peering across the camp I saw Spiders gang running, dodging, yelling and shooting at each other, and amid the violence and chaos I smiled. The herb I used for them was a hallucinogen, who knew what they were seeing when they looked at each other? Steve's herb however...
I darted a look at him. His herb worked as planned too. He was fast asleep, snoring loudly and holding onto his fishing pole like a lovers embrace. Hefting his rotund body I darted through the darkness towards where the horses were nickering worridly at the sounds of the crazed men. Piling Steve on the back of one I hopped on quickly and took off at a gallop, hoping the crazed herb would keep them busy long enough for me to find and save my friends.

~*~*~

Although it turned out when I got back to town at daybreak my friends didnt need 'saving'. The first one I saw when I just got into town was Brigh, dressed in a shinier more updated version of her lawmens clothes. "Halt stranger!" She spoke in an authorative voice. "Be sure you dont mean any harm to my to....hey, Jane???" Looking past me at the groggy form of Steve her eyes widened in shock. "Steve!? We thought you guys were long dead! Well hey come on in!"
I stared at her in surprise. "Your ok....and you didnt COME GET US?!" My eyes flashed with anger, my mind running through all the possible reasons why they would just leave me captive. In league with the Spider, the apes, the fire ants queen told them to???
Brigh looked puzzled. "Well we kinda just thought you exploded when that bomb went off. As for Steve....well...." Brigh frowned and looked at Steve as he polished his fishing pole, whispering to it lovingly. ".....We kinda just accept the fact he doesnt have reasons for what he does."

"......" I stared suspiciously at Brigh, still trying to find a way to blame the Fire Ant for all this. "Are you sure that deadly betrayer fire ant didnt have something to do with all this?" Brigh looked confused. "What, Drake? Of course not! Hes the bartender of this fine town," She thumbed her badge proudly before continuing. "Furthermore, hes far too busy with his new betrothed to even think about killing you. Although actually Im sure he will be thinking about it again now that your alive...er...." She trailed off sheepishly, embarrassed about the situation. "I guess we've all kinda just accepted this place as home after what happened to you..."

I stared at her with horror. They were HAPPY in this hell?? Oh no, I couldnt let that happen, we HAD to get the shard to get out of here. "Where's Jack?" I demanded, finally nudging Steve off the horse as he yelped in surprise. "Well...." Brigh thought for a moment. "After the explosion he refused to believe you were dead so he went off looking for you. No ones seen him in seems like 2 months now. We all just kinda figured he was dead too...eheh..."

I slapped my forehead. This genre was changing people. We had been here far too long, it was obviously working some sort of psychological warfare on us, making us complacent and unwilling to leave! "I will find him!" I declared loudly, beginning to cause a scene as the town woke up and began to stir. "I will find him AND the shard and save us all from this hellish genre!" With an epic battle cry, I reared up on my horse and began to ride off into the sunrise.....

....but quickly ducked as bullets flew after me. I could hear the faint yells from the town, calls of "Injun attack!!!" and "kill the savages!!!" Digging my heels in I drove the horse to run faster, grumbling to myself. "Dammit western genre!!!" I snarled.

"You wont kill me, this I promise!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~

It may or may not suck but I got this idea and I had to. Also in this rpg anything goes so unless Ben yells at me for it its ok to double post!!!!! ^-^() lol If I didnt specify how you settled into the town or what youve been doing for 2 months feel free to, and if I did and you dont like it let me know <3

[Crystal Tears]

Drake
Return of the Jane

Drake watched, distantly interested in why every single gun-slinger this part of the very large, very barren, very boring west went screaming out of the bar. He raised an eyebrow, listening carefully to the sounds of ‘indians’ ‘injun’ and other slangs for the actual people of this land. His ears twitched slightly at the sound of hooves slamming into the ground, the creature seemed to be galloping at full pace. The dragoon frowned a bit, narrowing his eyes as he wiped a glass clean.

“Mm… Not my problem.” He noted dully, not that the poor man realized it. But this place had sapped him, it had changed him. Deep down Drake still remained, but in this barren world he was content. Not happy, for Drake could never really be happy, it was in his history the character creator may or may not of written (she doesn’t remember).

The dragoon was doomed to an existence of misery. This was assured.

Of course, his curiosity was called upon when there was a shrill cry of “YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!” and then numerous yelps of pain. He neared the door, something about that war cry familiar, it almost seemed to irritate him just by the sound. Drake opened the door slightly and peered out, tilting his head at the sight.

There was woman, native in all respects, fighting people off with a shovel she must’ve stolen. She leapt high off the horse and crashed (ungracefully) into one of the men shooting at her. He cried out, struggling until his face was embedded onto the shovel.

DONG

‘Ow…’ He winced, watching as the girl twirled it and kept the enemies at bay. She was quite good at improvising, as one guy grabbed her from behind, she smashed the shovel down on another’s head (DONG) and bit the arm holding her.

She was dropped to the ground.

Big mistake.

In a series of quick and powerful strike (DONG DONG DONG) the gun-slingers were put in their place. It was then her crazed eyes fell upon Drake and his memory was jogged.

The hole.
In his ceiling.
Pain.
Irritation.
Crazed laughter.
Grenade.
Rage.

Drake took a step back, eyes wide as he suddenly remember exactly who she was and WHY he hated her.

“DRAKE!”

He rushed inside, slamming the door shut and locking it. It was futile, he knew this. He would have to face her, but as he nearly stumbled back over his feet to put distance between himself and that woman. No, that THING. That horrible creature that instead of trying the door, leapt and crashed through his window, rolling on the floor and recovering.
“FIRE ANT!”

He growled, eyes turning fiery at that name. “God damn it Jane, why couldn’t you be dead?”

“Oh?” She narrowed her eyes. “I would expect no less from the queen’s slave!”

“So it seems death hasn’t made you any saner,” Drake smirked. “Pity, I remember someone mentioning it was enlightening.”

She twirled the shovel threatening. “Where is Jack!?”

“The hell if I know,” He snarled. “Probably strung up in some farmer’s field, he is a scarecrow.”

“Drake what is all the- Oh…” She grimaced at the sight of Jane. “Hi Jane…”

“Meiya, tell me where Jack is!”

“Uhh-“

“She doesn’t know,” Drake interrupted, and raised an eyebrow when the end of the shovel was pointed at him.

“SILENCE!”

“I really don’t know…” Meiya commented, biting her lip nervously as Jane rapidly thought this over.

“But… NO! YOU MUST BE UNDER HIS SPELL!” Jane, without any warning, smashed Drake into the head at full force. He was sent flying to the ground, and stayed there.

DONG

“There now tell me the- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

Drake was sick of this, his contentment was gone because of this woman he had nearly forgotten. With some satisfaction though, he watched as she was sent crashing through his front door and out into the sandy street again, rolling several times and dropping her trusty shovel. Drake smirked, dusting himself off, he walked over to her slowly and put his foot on the shovel as she desperately reached for it. She looked up at him, covering in dust and dirt, hair mangled and eyes wide.

“You…” He summoned his sword; it appeared in his hand with a burst of flame, and gleaming brilliantly in the sunlight. “Are no longer part of this story...”

~ ~ ~

*looks at Asi*

=w=

Bring it biatch.

[Asilynne]

Oh its being brought!

~~Jane Fox~~
Killer of Dragoon Dreams...

"But..." I gazed at the flaming sword with confusion, before glancing back up at the fire ant, my face changing to anger. "You cant write me out of the story!! My creator is a stubborn bitch and will never rest until she finds a way to let me kill you!!!" Suddenly I felt as though Id been slapped. "Twf did I just say?!" I gasped as I listened to the words which made no sense come out of my mouth. This genre has finally made me begin to lose my mind... (lol@ Begin)
Suddenly I broke from my shocked thoughts just in time to dodge the sword coming for my head. Yelping I rolled and took off running, pausing a ways away from the ant to search for a weapon. Spotting a clothesline I grabbed it and used a little trick I learned from Spider. Twirling it above my head I spun it around the fire ant, tying him up swiftly with a triumphant cry.

The fire ant merely looked at the ropes for a moment, before giving me an annoyed look. "Seriously?" In an instant the ropes burst into flame and ash, freeing him easily. "....Oh...right, the fire." I muttered, before my instincted caused me to dodge a flying object. Glancing back I saw a rather large book strike the wall of the building behind me. "So..." I said, staring at the human woman as though she had betrayed her own kind. "I see that the pheromones have you too far gone to be saved...." Meiya shrugged. "Youll never hurt my man when Im around!"

I decided to be nice and spare the fire any for now even though I could easily kill him where he stood. "Ive got to find Jack but Ill deal with you later, rest assured you havent seen the end of me!!! Count yourself lucky Im sparing your evil creature, Misleaded Woman!"

As I started to leave I wondered if it would really be that easy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

XDDD Sie <3

[Mystic_clown]

Jack Scarecrow
-------------------------------

It turned out finding Jack was actually going to be easy. Since at that point the tavern doors flew open, revealing a ragged, tired, and very irritated Jack Scarecrow. In one hand was his cross, and the other was the knocked out form of Fisherman Steve (and by the looks of it, he had probably beaten him more than he should).

"Jack!" Jane yelped out, surprised, "Where were you?"

"I was wandering this wasteland," Jack panted, "looking for you and the shard, and I come back to find you all at a freakin bar!?"

Drake didn't seem the least bit phased by the scarecrow's obvious anger. "Yeah, so what?"

"We're leaving."

"What?"

"We have been here long enough. We're leaving right now!"

"But we can't leave!" Jane replied, "what about the sha-" She was cut off by Jack holding up the shard in his hand.

"Well, you two can go," Drake replied, "But we're staying right he-" He didn't get to finish as he was clotheslined by Jack's flying cross, pinning him to the wall and promptly knocking him out.

"Drake!" Meiya cried out, ready to attack Jack for that. However, the rather murderous look in his eyes, as well as the fact that Meiya was merely human, while Jack a.d once masacured bunch of soldiers, prevented her from doing anything stupid.

"Grab him and let's go," Jack spoke with finality, "We're leaving, now!"

-----Beyond the fourth wall-----

WHAM!

"Ow!" Mystic_clown yelped out, grabbing the back of his head and looking back at a pissed off Crystal tears, "What was that for?"

"You know very well what I had planned for Drake in this genre," she replied.

"Well, we've been in this genre for a few months now. We need to keep the roleplay going."

"But-"

"Look, I'll tell you what. I'll let Drake be the villian of another genre, ok? But right now, we're finishing the western genre."

Crystal tears sighed. MC wasn't going to change his mind.

"Fine. So, what's the next genre?"

Mystic_clown reached down to the hat, rummaging around before pulling out a sheet of paper. "The next genre is...Sci Fi!"


Ok folks, we're moving on. Coming up is sci-fi!

[Asilynne]

~~Jane Fox~~
Writing one's future...

Jane....sat there. She knew she sould be doing something, as she felt the area around her shimmer and change. But she couldnt for the life of her figure out what. In fact, it was as if time had stopped for her, like some invisible force had been writing her life until this point and had also for some unknown reason stopped....

"Mystic...."

Asi growled as she looked at the creator of the RPG It Sucks to be US. Crystal had already struck him, and while Asi would normally defend him she also felt much the same way. Mystic looked ready to hide and flinch once again. "meep! Yes Asi?"
Asi sighed and plopped down on one of the comfy couches in the Author Realm. "Well, its just that, me and Kuro had some PLANS for that genre and you just fast forwarded it! Now theres no CLOSURE! Where was the shard and how did you get it? How did you find Fisherman Steve? Its just...just.....too many loopholes!" Asi shook her head, since she was uptight about proper story flow things like this really bothered her. "...did I seriously just call myself uptight?" Asi muttered to herself.

"Yes you did...er...." Mystic ducked again, then seeing no imminent danger, straightened. "Well, its not really my fault, the other characters disappeared and I HAD to do something or else the RPG would die."
"True..." Asi mulled this over. "Well, how about this, if you at least tie up the loopholes Ill post for the new genre, hows that sound? "
Asi did a cute begging pose and waited to see what would happen.
~~~~~~~~~~~


hrhrhr seriously I cant stand loopholes, please fill them in lol

[Mystic_clown]

Mystic groaned as he sat at the computer, trying to think of a way to tie up all the loose ends for the genre. Otherwise he was in for a a beatdown from Asi and Crystal. Needless to say, he didn't want this.

"Hmm, well, he could have found it in a mine...no...that's not epic enough. Or maybe he...no..."

He head desked, groaning in pain.

"You know what, screw it. Time to take the easy way out of this."

He reached under the desk and pulled out a big red button with the word "RESET" on it.

--------------*~*--------------

"We have been here long enough. We're leaving right now!"

"But we can't leave!" Jane replied, "what about the sha-" She was cut off by Jack holding up his hand...with nothing in it. Everything paused for a moment before Jack realised there was nothing there.

"Wait, what!? Where did it go? I swear I just had it!"

"Well then," Jane placed her hands on her hips, "That's settles it. We're finding the shard then!" Jack looked completely crestfallen as Jane left the building.

"You mean we're stuck in this genre for even longer!?"

"Looks like it," Drake sniped.

"Oh fuck you fire elf."


Ok, looks like we'll be here a little longer.

[Asilynne]

~~Jane Fox~~
Deja Vu

"We are finding the shard then!" I yelled as I charged out the building, then remembered that no one else knew where we were going. Running back in I collided with Jack as he was about to follow me. "Ow!!!!" I yelled before leaping to my feet. Jack brushed himself off, but before he could say anything I rushed my words out. "I think I know who has the shard since I heard Spider talking when they kidnapped me!"

Everyone looked confused. Except Fisherman Steve, who just looked in pain as he returned to consiousness. I went on. "They said that some 'injun' named Chief Whats-his-Name has the shard."

Everyone was quiet for a moment. "Well, whats his name?" Brigh asked, thumbing her sherrifs badge thoughtfully. "Im not sure...." I said, digging the heel of my spear into the hard floor. "But apparently hes my father, and my name is 'She-who-Survives'..." Drake let out a sharp bark of a laugh and crossed his arms as he muttered to himself. 'You mean She-who-is a huge and utter annoying bi----" He was cut off as Meiya slapped her hand over his mouth quickly. "How do we find him?" She asked sweetly, as if Drake hadnt spoken. I looked at her, feeling momentarily stunned, I hadnt thought of that.....


Suddenly the screen rippled and the scenery changed in one of those time lapse scene switches, and I was instantly outside and tied to a tree, apparently as part of a halfbaked yet supposedly clever plan which had taken place offscreen. "Oh help...!" I called out half heartedly. "Oh I need an injun to save me....INJUNS!!!! I am kidnapped....I hope Chief Whats-his-Name, who is apparently my father, comes to save me!"
"Wow this is lame...." Someone muttered from hiding in the bushes near the tree where I was tied. I gave them a glare and muttered back. "yeah well if we didnt have one of those silly rippling scene switches we couldve seen whos lame plan this was in the first place!"

Just then a thundering of hooves came and dust was kicked up nearby. I peered through the dust, trying to see who it was that was approaching...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Up to anyone to see whos coming ;D

[Mystic_clown]

Jack Scarecrow
-----------------------------

"Does anyone seriously believe that this plan will work?" Jack muttered as the rest of the gang hid behind the bush, waiting for the so called 'Injuns' to come and rescue Jane, which was kind of a big feat considering how small the bush was. Seriously, whose idea was this? Stupid rippling screens.

"Maybe if she sounded more distressed they'd actually come?" Meiya piped up. That was probably the smartest thing said all day.

"And how are we going to do that?" Steve asked. Jack snapped his fingers as an idea popped into his head.

"Hey Jane," Jack whispered loudly enough for her to hear, "Don't be alarmed, but I think I see apes coming on the horizen."

And, just as predicted, she paniced, screaming and trying to wriggle free from the ropes that bound her to the tree.

"Well..." Drake muttured, "At least it got her panicing."

"And I think it actually worked," Brigh piped up, pointing to somewhere in the distance, "Look."

All eyes followed her finger, seeing something in the distance coming towards the tree. Wait, the plan was actually working!?

[Kuro Espeon]

Brigh:

"And I think it actually worked," Brigh piped up, pointing to somewhere in the distance, "Look." The entire party looked, and sure enough there was a group in traditional Native American garb riding horses that were approaching the tree to which Jane was (unwillingly) tied.

"Ah, yes... Injuns. The Communists of the Old West. Savages that have no respect for anything American!" Brigh continued in a harsh whisper.

"A-actually..." came Meiya's timid voice as she peeked out from behind the pages of an encyclopedia, "The Native Americans were on this continent long before the European colonization of the east coast and the westward expansion that followed. They cheated and slaughtered the otherwise peaceful native tribes in the name of Manifest Destiny, which they believed gave them the right to..." Meiya stopped abruptly as she saw Brigh glaring daggers back at her over her shoulder. She gulped as Brigh leaned over, bringing her face inches from Meiya's.

"Listen you," she warned, her voice in a near growl, "It's anti-patriotic statements like that stared the Red Scare, which I still think is a valid threat. So you'd best keep your crazy theories to yourself."

"But Brigh..." Jack joined in, trying to come to Meiya's aid, "I thought you said the bandits that attacked the town were Communists? How could they BOTH be Commies?"

Brigh's head snapped sharply in Jack's direction. "Commies come in all shapes and sizes, Jack. That's what makes them so crafty." Her eyes darted back and forth in an expression that the others had come to know well on her. She was about to continue when a shrill shrieking sound interrupted them, and they suddenly all remembered something they had forgotten about.

"Whoops," said Steve.

The Indians on horseback had reached the bound Jane and were now attempting to drag her onto the back of one of the horses by her waist. Jane's arms and legs were flailing wildly as she attempted to break free. "NO! PLEASE! DON'T TURN ME OVER TO THE APES! I WANNA LIVE! I WANNA LIVE!!"

"Okay, now we just need to figure which one of them is Chief Whats-his-Name and talk him into giving us the shard," Jack said, pondering. He looked around at the group, making eye contact with each of them, "A calm, peaceful negotiation should do the trick. I'm sure if we just explain our situation they'll be more than happy to help us. As long as we don't do anything rash we should be able to---" Jack stopped when he turned to where Brigh was... or at least where Brigh would've been. In her place was nothing but a dotted outline of her body and a blinking arrow (similar to what one would see in Vegas if Vegas had been established yet) hanging midair, pointing off in the direction Brigh had gone. Jack groaned as he turned to see Brigh tearing madly across the desert floor, guns blazing, bellowing out a war cry that would make William Wallace jealous. She made a running leap and tackled the man with the largest headdress (whom she presumed to be the Chief), holding an impossibly large knife to his throat.

"OK! Listen up you feather-headed freakshow! Hand over that Gem shard before I pound you to a pulp, eviscerate you, cut off your totem pole and shove it up your ass!"

Jack sighed. "So much for peaceful negotiations..."

[Mystic_clown]

Jack Scarecrow
------------------------------

It was certainly a tense situation, thanks to Brigh's 'efforts'. Figuring there was no further point in hiding, the rest of the crew lept from their 'hiding spot' to try and diffuse the situation.

"Brigh! For the love of all things good and holy, get the crap off of him!" Jack shouted at her. The trigger happy woman was unmoved though, her knife still pressed against the chief's neck.

"This is the only way to negotiate with a commie!" Brigh replied sharply

"He's not a commie, he's an indian!" Jack replied with an irritated sigh.

"He's unamerican!"

"What the fuck!? He's more American than YOU!"

Brigh spun around, about to reply to such an insult when she was promptly spear tackled by five indians, who then proceed to tie her up and aim their bows at her. The rest took aim at the strange group as the chief climbed to his feet.

"We are very sorry Chief Whats-his-name," Jack spoke up, trying to be careful not to piss the indians off any further, "We were hoping for a peaceful talk, but our 'friend' is...well...she's a complete idiot."

"HEY!"

The chief finished dusting himself off before glaring at the group.

"What is it that you want," he spoke up, surprisingly enough with a british accent. Go figure.

"Well, you see," Jack replied, "We heard you were posession of a shard of sorts, and, well, we kind of need it."

The chief blinked for a few moments before pulling out a crystal shard. A shard of the jewel they were looking for!

"You mean this?"

"Yes! Can we please have it?"

"No."

"Damn..."

The chief stared sternly at the group.

"This shard has been in the family for generations. I will only pass it on to the man who marries my daughter." He gestured to Jane, who was now untied and still looking around for apes nervously. The group stared at her wide eyed.

"So...the only peaceful way to get the shard is to marry Jane?"

"Yes."

Almost on reflex, Meiya grabbed hold of Drake defensively. Well, he was out.

"Hmmm, Steve?" he turned to the magikarp fisherman.

...on second thought, that would be cruel. But they were really running out of men right now.

"Um...Brigh?"

"OH HELL NO!" Both women shouted out in unison, causing Jack to wince. Ok, so any of the women were out. That just left...

Drake chuckled. "Looks like you're taking one for the team Jack."

[Asilynne]

~~Jane Fox~~
Its a...nice day for a...WILD WEDDING!!!!

While everyone was pretty much deciding my fate without consulting me, I stared at the man who in this genre was my father. The funny thing was, he sort of did look like my father....from what I could remember anyway. Although come to think of it, he looked more like Patrick Stewart than anyone else. But Father, Patrick Stewart, Chief Whats-his-Name or otherwise, no one was going to decide my fate for me, except me!

"Patr--...er...Father, if this shard was passed down through generations of our family, cant you just give it to me WITHOUT the marriage? After all Im apparently in this family..."

He shook his feathered head and crossed his arms. "We've discussed this daughter, only as a wedding gift do you get the honour of possessing this shard. You need to prove yourself as an adult, take on the responsibility of feeding and clothing the children which you will bear---"

"CHILDREN!?" Jack and I yelled in unison, staring at each other in horror.

"Of course dear, as the daughter of the Chief its your duty to bear as many children as humanly possible. That way you can one day pass on the shard to the bravest of them. ....also if you are married you will finally be out of my tent...."
His last comment would have made me angry but I was still reeling from the children comment. Jane does not have squalling whelps! It was hard enough keeping myself safe from the wild beasts out there, but to have whelps to care for---! Also they werent quiet, not at all, and they emitted lots of strange and unpleasent smells which the animals could easily track! They were always hungry and could not be left unattended without getting into some sort of trouble!! It would be the end of my life!
I grabbed Jack by the scruff of his shirt, almost shaking him as the horror overtook me. "Jack!!!! We have to get out of this genre! Whelps! Do you know what that would mean?? DO YOU!?!?"
Jack looked stunned as I clutched his shirt. "But to get the shard we have to----"
"I DONT CARE!!! Whatever it takes!!" I almost shouted as I began to pace back and forth, muttering about wild animals and the even more dangerous human whelps.

"Well then its settled, quite right!" The Chief nodded and grinned, clapping his hands together. "Let us prepare the ceremony!"

~~~~~~
*******
~~~~~~

Later that day, there was another screen ripple thing and suddenly Jack and I were standing outside of a tent called the "Teepee o' Love" wearing white furs and feathers, save for Jacks headdress of black crow feathers. A bit aways from the ceremony was a sign that read "This is where Las Vegas will be in about 150 years". The Chief beckoned from inside the tent. "He-who-Scares-the-Crows and She-Who-Survives, please step forward!" Looking at each other nervously, we stepped inside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag anyone who wants to write the ceremony XD!

[Mystic_clown]

Jack Scarecrow
------------------------------------

This could not be happening…

Sure, Jane was his friend. Heck, she was the only person he would considered his friend amongst the group of loonies he was forced to hang around, but to marry her? No, not just marry her, but father her children as well?

This gem better be worth it…

The two stepped into the tent. Inside was an elderly Indian, most likely the ‘priest’ of this ceremony, Chief What’s-his-name, and a couple of others they didn’t know. The priest beckoning them to step towards the shrine set up in the tent.

“State your names,” the priest said. Jack and Jane glanced at each other nervously.

“She-Who-Survives,” Jane replied.

“He-who-Scares-the-Crows,” Jack answered.

The priest closed his eyes and then said some words that Jack and Jane could not understand, probably their language or something. He then produced two wooden cups, containing some milky liquid.

“Drink this,” he said, hand each of them a cup. The two glanced at the cups nervously before Jane looked at him, as if silently telling him to drink first. Jack sighed and drank from the cup.

Mmm, milky…

Seeing that Jack didn’t die, Jane drank from hers as well. As the two set their cups down, the priest smiled.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” he spoke up. Jack and Jane both blinked in unison and confusion.

“That’s it?” Jack asked.

“That’s it.”

Before they could say anything else, the two were quickly ushered out of the tent. They were then pushed along towards another tent, this one saying “The REAL Teepee of Love.”

The two let out a yelp as they were pushed inside, and the entrance closed up behind them. What they saw surprised them. The inside was surprisingly modern. Pink carpet, slow jazz music playing, and a heart shaped love bed at the far end.

Where the heck did they get all this!?

Both people let out a small whimper in unison. It was pretty clear why they were brought here.

“Someone better get that damn shard and get it fast.”

[Asilynne]

Western Soundtrack

~~Jane Fox~~
In the Wild Wild West, Doin' my best~

"What kind of strange trial is this?"
Looking around the room, I could see foreign objects the likes of which I had never seen. Foreign sounds filled the room too, but we had been brought here for a reason. Perhaps this strange tribe's wedding ceremony involved a battle somehow, to see which in the partnership would be the leader. I liked Jack, I didnt want to have to injure him too badly.
"Well Jack if we must engage in this trial I want you to know I would like you to submit quickly. I dont want to have to hurt you too badly, because we have been good friends for awhile."

Jack looked like he was going to have a heart attack. "WHAT?! Jane you cant be serious, you....you are willing...to...."
I shrugged. "I honestly didnt think you would be so against this Jack. You want the shard dont you? Ill make it quick so we can get it over with." Jack gave me a funny look as I got out a rope and grinned.
~~~~~~~~

"Do you submit?" I asked Jack, as he was bound against the wall, my spear to his neck. He looked confused, but managed to squeak out a nervous "Uh....yes?"
I lowered my spear and began to untie him. "Ok then, see I told you that wasnt going to be so bad. Now I am the leader and the ceremony is complete."
Jack looked shocked. "Thats what you thought we were here for?!" He exclaimed, rubbing his wrists. Now it was my turn to be confused. "Well, yes. What else could we be here for?"

Jack slapped his forehead. "Im pretty sure they want us to...you know...." I stared at him, waiting for him to go on. ".....um...well....uh...you DO know where babies come from right?" I started, crossing my arms over my chest and staring hard at him. "Of COURSE I do! The animals on the jungle planet told me human babies come from the sky in great shiny birds. The also told me they squall and make noise enough to attract many predators and that I was lucky to have survived as long as I did, so Id really not have to do the ShinySkyBird ceremony for a baby, Jack...."

Jack gave me a look like I was crazy for a long moment, before sighing deeply, hanging his head. I sighed too. Being in this room was boring, and the music was slow, almost encouraging us to relax. But I was Jane, I didnt relax, ever! But if we were going to be stuck in this room for awhile, we HAD to do something. "Hey Jack, while we wait for them to give us the shard, can I show you something?"
Jack looked like he would love to say no, but instead in a tired voice said "Sure...what is it?"
~~~~~
~~~~~

".....And this is the knot I use when Im making a rope trap." We both sat on the soft object in the corner of the room, a rope around his wrists as I demonstrated my extensive knowledge of knots. At first he didnt seem interested, but then he began to see how tight these knots could be, and a practical application for them. "I see...if I had known this knot earlier, I might not have been fired from my job! My arm could certainly stay on with that." Nodding happily I began to show him an even better one. "And this..."

Just then the doorflap burst open and the others in our group piled in, stopping short as they saw us. "What are you doing?!" Brigh yelled in horror.

"Nothing!!!!" Jack squeaked, recoiling.

"We got bored!" I exclaimed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry for the shitty ending XD tag~~

[Kuro Espeon]

*phew* Done! This turned out a lot longer than I intended. But I guess that makes up for it taking so long to post. ^^()

Brigh Dangerfield:

Brigh let out a rather large and obvious yawn as she lounged idly on a small rock formation, polishing her silver sheriff star with the sleeve of her uniform. She was getting really tired of waiting for Jack and Jane to finish this “ceremony” and wondered what the hell was taking them so long. The others seemed to be of the same mindset, as most of them bore expressions of boredom or anxiousness, as if they knew that the plot of this RPG should’ve progressed by now.

“What the hell are they doing in there?” Brigh finally said with a tone of extreme exasperation, getting her to feet and pacing back and forth. “They need to hurry the hell up. I want to get that damn shard and get out of this bloody ridiculous genre!”

“Well, they are in the ‘Teepee O’ Love’,” Roy said as he casually chucked pennies into the headdress of one of the Indians. “Maybe Jack’s having some trouble summoning up some “love” for Jane. Heh heh heh….”

Meiya let out a small, terrified-sounding squeak as she held her hands to her face. “Y-you don’t think…they’re d-doing…*gulp* that…do you?”

“How the hell should I know?” Brigh snapped, tapping her foot impatiently. “I’m not about to go and check, unless you’re volunteering?” Meiya blushed and violently shook her head back in forth. Drake leaned over to Meiya’s ear and Brigh thought she heard him whisper something about them “borrowing” the tent later, which caused Meiya to turn an even deeper shade of red than before. Brigh rolled her eyes and continued.

“Well, whatever the case is, if they’re not out soon I swear I’m going to…”

*BLAM*

Everybody jumped as the sound of a gunshot rang across the desert wasteland. A moment of silence followed before one of the Indians, who happened to be standing next to Chief-Whats-His-Name-Who-Looks-Like-Patrick Stewart, groaned and fell over dead. All heads turned in Brigh’s directions with matching fiery glares.

“Brigh!”

“What? It wasn’t ME! Not this time anyway…”

“Dagnabbit! I missed!” came a familiar voice. Everyone turned toward it and saw none other than the one Jane had referred to as “Spider”, the leader of the Magnificent Seven, the barrel of his gun still smoking from the shot he had just fired. Standing behind him was a group of bandits even larger than before, all with their own firearms.

“You!” Drake snarled, pulling out his flame-covered sword.

“Me!” Spider replied with a laugh, “Happy to see me?”

“Hardly…”

“Well, that don’t matter, now do it? Cause ya see, I’m a member of the Council! And I’m here for that there shard of The Gem of Incredible-But Never-Really-Explained-Powers!” Spider pointed at the gem shard that was hanging around the neck of the chief, who in turn clutched it protectively. “And this time, y’all ain’t gonna get the best of me! I brought reinforcements!” he paused and gestured to his wily group of rootin-tootin’ ruffian. “Once we lost track of that yeller-haired Injun missy, I wasn’t sure how we were going to track down those savages to get the shard. But wooo—eeee lucky me! All I had to do was follow you folks and you lead us straight to them! Guess I gotta at least say thank ya. Boys! Show ‘em our appreciation!” The group of bandits leveled their weapons.

“Everybody down!” Brigh yelled, sending our group of “heroes” diving for cover in the split seconds before the desert erupted into the roar of gunfire. The Indian tribe wasn’t giving up without a fight, and soon and all out rumblin’, tumblin’ scuffle was taking place, clouds of dust and sand being kicked up in every direction. As Brigh crouched behind a rock and drew her pistol, she aimed it out into the fray…but hesitated. The bandits, to her, were Commies. But so were the Indians. It was Commie vs. Commie out there. For the first time in her life, Brigh had to ask herself a very difficult question:

“WHO THE HELL DO I SHOOT AT?!?”

Just then she noticed a bright glint within the dusty swarm. The gem shard had been stolen from the Chief, but it was, quite comedically, being thrown back and forth between the two sides as they tussled for control over it. Now, it had been thrown high into the air and seemed to be falling in slow-motion back towards Earth.

“I GOT IT!” Spider, Chief Whats-His-Name, and Roy all cried at the same time. The all began to rush towards it from different directions, no longer a match of strength or weapons but of speed. Just when they were about to reach it…. A lasso flew out of nowhere and snared the shard mid-air, yanking it suddenly out of reach. Unable to stop in time, the three gem-chasers collided with each other and were subsequently knocked unconscious.

Confused, Brigh searched for the owner of the mysterious lasso, only to find the familiar, but surprising, face of Alexandria Blake on the other end, beaming and holding the shard between her fingers.

“Alex!” Meiya called, rushing over. “We thought you were dead! Or at least left behind in the action genre…”

“What? Naw! Why would y’all think that?”

“……”

“Anyway, just figured I’d step in an’ help you guys out, being neighborly and all. Here.” She handed the shard to Meiya. “Take that and scat!”

“Aren’t you coming too?” Steve asked, also appearing from his hiding place behind a large cactus.

“Nah. I think I’ll stay here. Besides, she jerked her thumb over her shoulder at the battle that was still going on between the bandits and the Indians, seemingly unaware that the shard was now out of play. “I need to stay and make sure things get all settled here. Y’all go ahead. I’ll even let you borrow my mounts!” She put her fingers in her mouth and let out a shrill whistle, calling over several horses, a mule, a cow and, for some reason, an ostrich. Brigh stared in disbelief.

“Wow…thanks Alex. I take back all those mean things I said about you.”

“What?”

“Er, nothing! Come on guys, let’s go get Jack and Jane and tell them we can leave!”

Brigh turned and rushed into the teepee, knocking open the flap in excitement. “Jack! Jane! You don’t have to finish the ceremony, we got the ge---” she stopped short when her eyes fell on the strange scene of Jane and Jack sitting on a heart-shaped bed, with Jane tying Jack up with rope in a very promiscuous-looking position. "What are you doing?!" she yelled in horror.

"Nothing!!!!" Jack squeaked, recoiling.

"We got bored!" Jane exclaimed.

“….Right. Well I’m going to fight back the extreme urge to vomit and let you guys know we got the shard and we’re getting the hell out of here. Now pack up your kinky rope tricks and let’s go.”

Sorry for the kinda sucky ending. XD Anyone else can feel free to end the genre now. I'm guessing Ben still plans on having Sci-Fi be up next.

[Mystic_clown]

Jack Scarecrow
---------------------------------

Everything was quiet in the teepee as Jane untied Jack, both rather embarrassed to say anything after Brigh's little outburst.

"Well..." Jack murmured after a long silence, "Let's get going, shall we?" Jane merely nodded as they left the tent. Oddly enough, nobody was around. Needless to say, both we confused.

"Hmmm? Where the heck are-" Jack started. Before he could finish, there was shouting followed by the galloping of horses. The two looked to the right to see the group running towards them, Meiya guiding another horse to them. In the distance, Jack could see the whole indian tribe after them. It should be noted that Brigh was slung over the back of one of the horses, tied up

"Brigh!" Jack shouted, "What the-"

"Notimetoexplain!" Meiya paniced out, bringing the horse over to them, "Brighpissedoffthechiefandnowwehavetogohurryhurry! "

Rather than hang around and question them further. Jack and Jane lept up onto the horse, the group taking off as they rode into the sunset, pursued by pissed off indians. A rather unorthadox ending to this story.

Well, it would be if the story was over.

However, the backdrop said otherwise. The group yelped as they ran into the fake sunset, causing them to bounce off their horses and onto the ground.

"What the hell!?" Jack yelped, finding that the sunset was nothing more than a painted wall.

Sorry guys. We really can't let the RPG end just yet.

"And why the hell not?" Drake snapped.

Well, simply because we've only been through two genres.

"But what about the indians!?" Meiya gestured to the group quickly closing in on them.

Oh, don't worry. We've got a solution.

Suddenly, a light shone down from above. The group shielded their eyes, trying to see what it was. At that point, they suddenly began to lift up into the air, as if gravity didn't exist. The group tried their best to resist the pull, but in the end, could do nothing as they were pulled into the light.


Next genre, Sci-Fi!

[Asilynne]

~~Jane Fox~~
From one frontier to the next...

Before I could wonder what that voice was that was talking to us from the sky, a great light fell upon us, and when it faded I aw we were in a strange new place...

It was shiny everywhere, and looking through the window I could see land far below us, the place called Vegas we used to be. "Shiny Skybird...." I whispered, before turning a suspicious eye to Jack.

He looked at me, seeming to wonder about that look I was giving him, which I knew was an obvious ruse, a false innocence that masked what we BOTH knew he did!!!

"Jack....you did the ShinySkyBird ceremony after all didnt you?! I told you I didnt want a baby!!"

Everyones eyes turned to stare at the two of us, as Jack almost jumped out of his skin (which was actually a possibility and not merely a figure of speech). "What?! No...no I didnt!! Quit looking at me like that guys I never said I wanted a baby!!!"

Brigh gave a short laugh and a smirk. "I guess the honeymoons over...."

Roy snorted and nudged Jack with his elbow. "What did I tell you man? Marriage is a bad idea..."

I gave the two of them a glare before our little discussion was interrupted by a somewhat familiar voice. "Greetings, and welcome to my ship."

We all turned to look at the owner of this voice, to see Patrick Stewart standing there! He smiled. "I am Captain Whatname of the Starship Surprise." Everyone gave him a funny look before I spoke up.

"Chief Whats-his-name? Arent you my father?"

Brigh eyed him up and down before agreeing. "And what kind of name is 'Whatname' anyway?"

"Its japanese...anyway, enough questions, Ive beamed you here for the specific purpose of being my crew. Ive seemed to have misplaced mine..." He looked lost for a moment as we all shifted uneasily, before continuing. "Right, so, Ill be assigning you a position and crew duties, so get ready to boldly go in search of the unknown or some shit like that." I wasnt sure that was how the creed went but I shrugged and went over to the lockers which he pointed at. Opening a locker suspiciously named "Jane Fox" I found a camo version of the uniform the Chief....er, Captain was wearing, a pack with many devices in it, and a folder of papers, which gave me my 'role'.

I raised my eyebrow. "Ship's doctor?? Dammit chief Im a survivor not a doctor!!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Corny ending to the post, yes XD Everyone choose your star trek related positions or someone will choose them for you XD You can design your uniform as you want lol

[Kuro Espeon]

Yay! This RPG shall not die! It's is EPIC!

Brigh Dangerfield:

Brigh examined her new surroundings with the utmost suspicion. There was no guarantee that this ship was not actually a vessel of the enemy, and their abduction and subsequent induction into the crew merely a ploy to thwart their ongoing mission to explore strange new genres, to seek out more gem shards, and to keep them from boldly going where no stereotyped characters had gone before!

...Why did that sound so familiar?

[Beyond the Fourth Wall, Kuro Espeon lets out a bout of particularly evil-sounding laughter.]

“Once you all have changed you will join me on the bridge.” The Captain stated, and then Brigh watched as he turned on his heels and marched out of the room.

“Well, I don’t know about the rest of you,” she grumbled as she fiddled with the latch on her locker, “but I don’t trust that Capt. Whos-its.”

“It’s Captain Whatname,” Meiya pointed out.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” She rolled her eyes and pulled open the locker with a yank. “I just don’t think we should be so rash as to blindly swear allegiance to someone who we just—OH MY GOD! LOOK AT ALL THESE GUNS!!” Brigh’s eyes twinkled with delight as her gaze fell upon a locker bristling with all sorts of high-tech, space age weaponry: Phasers, assault rifles with laser target designators, guns with plasma bullets, assorted pieces of cybernetic armor, and an array of miniature high-powered explosives. It took all of her willpower to keep from drooling.

She eagerly pulled out her uniform, which consisted of a dark blue top that was made from something resembling stretch polyester, a thick black vest covered in multipurpose pockets, and a pair of black, form-fitting S.W.A.T. pants with multiple holsters. There was a badge in the shape of the ship’s insignia (similar to the captains’) with a tag on it that said: Lt. Comm Brigh Dangerfield : Chief Security Officer.

“Sweeeeet.”

“Actually, Brigh,” said Jack as he very carefully put on his own uniform, “I think I agree with you for once. We have no proof that this guy isn’t working for The Council. We should be cautious until we discover what his true motives are.”

But Brigh wasn’t listening. She was too busy rubbing her cheek lovingly against the long, smooth shaft (hurr hurr) of a photon blaster.


*cackles*

[Mystic_clown]

Jack Scarecrow
------------------------------

Jack sighed as he saw Brigh fawning over her new weapons. Why was he not surprised about this. Well, here they were, on a space ship, going who knows where, and going to do god only knows.

He looked around the place. Jane was the doctor, Brigh was the Chief Security Officer. So what did that make him?

He noticed a locker with his name on it and approached. Opening it, he saw his uniform, a not too flash version of what the others had, and a large box of rather futuristic tools. Jack looked at the label on the shirt.

"Jack Scarecrow. Chief of Maintinence."

You had to be kidding! He was the grease monkey on this ship!? Sure, he had experience putting things together, mainly himself, but he was now responsible for a highly complicated piece of technology?

He turned and looked back to see the rest of the group. Sadly enough, he was probably the only one he'd trust with the mechanics.

Sighing, he pulled out his uniform and went into the next room.

[Asilynne]

~~Jane Fox~~
Boldly Going Crazy

I changed into my uniform as I listened to the others receive their roles. Some, like Brigh, were overjoyed. Others, like Jack, begrudgingly accepted their fate. A few were confused, like Meiya and Drake, although the latter was also irritated as usual. But then there were Fisherman Steve and Roy....

Fisherman Steve was far too overjoyed about his role. "I get to be the Chief Biologist AND the Ships Cook? OH YES THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!! Did you hear that Magikarps?" He tossed his pokeballs on the ground to reveal his six magikarps wearing the science blue uniforms that Steve was donning, all wielding bicorders (we dont want to get sued so dont say tricorders!!!). "Super Deluxue Awesome Culinary Science Team ASSEMBLE!!!!" And with that Steve went off into another room to do sciency type things with his team of Fish.
But Roy was another story. Before opening his locker he took a moment to snort at Jack. "Heh, Jack, Chief Engineer? Wow you cant even hold yourself together, looks like we're all doom---" He cut himself off however as he removed a red uniform with a black target on it from his locker. Upon reading his role his eyes almost bugged out of his head. "Expendable, what?? The Ships Red-shirt?!" Roy looked sick as Jack chuckled.

Seeing my chance to do my shiply duty I ran over to Roy. "You look like you arent feeling good, here drink this!" Before he could complain I began to pour one of my plant-based medical elixers down his throat as he struggled vainly. Coughing and looking even more sick than before he yelled at me. "What are you doing you crazy bitch?? And why arent you using the good technology for making people better, instead of your hocus pocus voodoo medicines??"

Before I could properly educate him on the fact that I was not going to use the evil metal devices that had been given to me, since I was convinced they would steal my patients souls, a voice came over the intercom. It was Patrick Stewart. <"All personnel please report to the bridge immediately. Red Alert, I repeat Red Alert...">

I looked at Roy before grabbing him like a human shield and running for the bridge. "Come, Red-shirt! Whatever is attacking us will surely get you first!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Im leaving Meiya and Drakes roles open for now to see if they want to claim them themselves since Im not sure if they still post or not. Anyone can decide what the threat is ;D

[Mystic_clown]

Jack Scarecrow
-------------------------------

Something was attacking the ship. Alarms were blaring and the lights were flashing red. So, naturally, everyone aboard the ship made a mad dash for the bridge. The metal doors slid open as our band of heroes charged into the room. The captain, Whats-his-name, turned to them. However, before he could open his mouth to say anything, an explosion rocked the ship, almost throwing everyone to the floor.

"What happen?" What's his name muttered, climbing to his feet.

"Someone set us up the bomb!" Fisherman Steve piped up. Meiya glanced over at at one of the monitors.

"We got signal," she spoke up. Drake turned to her.

"What?"

"Main screen turn on," Roy spoke up, pressing one of the buttons. At that point, a large screen before them flickered to life, revealing a man dressed in a black, hooded cloak. One could barely see his face beneath the hood. So, as a result, he was pretty much unrecognisable.

"It's you!" Jack exclaimed.

"How are you gentlemen," the figure spoke up, confirming himself as male, "All your base are belong to us. You are on your way to destruction."

"What you say!?" Jane yelled out.

"You have no chance to survive. Make your time," the figure smirked, "Ha ha ha."

The screen flickered off. All eyes slowly turned to Jack.

"Who was that man?" Jane asked. Jack merely shrugged.

"No idea. But I cannot help but feel like I should know him.

"Who cares who he is!" Brigh spoke up loudly, "The commy bastard wants a fight, a fight he'll get! Release all zigs!"

One of the men at the terminals turned to Brigh with wide eyes.

"All zigs?" he spoke up, shocked. Captain What's-his-name turned to the group.

"Excuse me, I'm the captain he-"

"No time for that!" Brigh cut him off. "Release all zigs! For great justice!"

Before the captain could reply, the minion gulped, pressing the button on the termainal.

----------------------------

Oh come on, I couldn't resist! *prepares for bombardment*

[Kuro Espeon]

Brigh Dangerfield:

“Release all zigs! For great justice!”

As the helmsman gulped and pressed the button, Brigh found herself holding her breath in anticipation. Amidst the wailing of the sirens and the flashing red lights, her heart began to pound to the rhythm of the alarms. Her knuckles were white as her grip on the arm of the captain’s chair (in which she had presumptuously placed herself) had tightened until she was practically shaking, her eyes transfixed on the display screen as she waited for something to happen. Time seemed to slow down and it seemed to her as if seconds were taking minutes.

….Then she realized that it WAS minutes. Nothing was happening. At all. All activity on the bridge had ceased. Even the advancing enemy ships appeared to have stopped moving. It was as if time itself had halted and everyone on board (except for our main characters, conveniently) had been stuck in place.

“Hey! What’s going on?” Brigh exclaimed, jumping out of the captain’s chair.

“I—I don’t know,” Meiya replied, hesitantly looking around, “Everyone’s frozen.”

“Literally…” added Drake, as he reached over and rapped his knuckles the forehead of a random crewman that was now, for some reason, completely encased in ice. As they spoke, the also began to hear a faint, rhythmic jingling sound that was soon accompanied by a light curtain of soft, falling snow.

“What kind of black, Communist devilry is this?!” Brigh demanded of the heavens. As if giving her a reply, a booming voice was heard echoing throughout the bridge.

[We interrupt this genre to bring you a special announcement!]

“Oh no…” said Jack, covering his eyes.

[Oh yes! It’s that time of year again, folks! Time for cheer! Time for merriment! Time for peace on earth and good will towards men! All of which seem to be quite lacking in this RPG…]

“And whose #$%$^@&$ fault is that….” muttered Drake.

[And that is why we have decided--]

“We? Who’s WE?” Jane cried.

[AHEM. That is why we have decided to hold the very first It Sucks to be Us: Christmas Special!]

“…You have GOT to be kidding me,” everyone said in unison.

[SILENCE! You’re doing a Christmas Special and you’ll damn well like it! Now then, it has come to our attention that the Council has stolen Christmas.]

“Stolen Christmas?” Roy chimed in from a corner of the bridge where we has making a snowman around one of the frozen crewmembers. “You mean like the Grinch?”

[Kind of. But the Grinch only stole presents. The Council has actually stolen Christmas itself!]

“Wait, wait, wait…” Brigh said, holding up her hands in a gesture of confusion. “That’s not even possible. How can you steal a day? There’s no way in hell that could---“ Just then a piece of paper flutter down in front of Brigh’s face and she instinctively reached up and caught it. Glancing down at it she saw that it was a calendar for the month of December, and the spot where December 25th should have been was conveniently blank. “Sonofabitch, how did they do that?”

[Now go forth! It is time for you…to SAVE CHRISTMAS!]

Suddenly, the entire area was engulfed in a bright white light, leaving the group temporarily blinded. After it faded they found themselves standing in your standard winter-wonderland-type terrain. All of their outfits had changed once again. Brigh found that her bullet-proof vest was now a festive sweater vest, and her pants were covered in bobbles. Fisherman Steve was, appropriately she felt, dressed in a Santa suit. Roy and Jack’s clothing had been replaced with green elf garb, complete with curly-toed shoes with bells on the tips. Jane was a reindeer (although it almost looked like she was just wearing the skin of a reindeer...). Meiya was some sort of sexy variation of Mrs. Claus which drew the full attention of Drake who, for some unexplainable reason, was now dressed as an angel.

There was a brief moment of silence as everyone in the group took in the full horror of the situation. Final, Drake broke the silence.

“Ho Ho F***ing Ho….”

[Asilynne]

~~Jane Fox~~

I wasnt sure what the hell was going on at ALL!

All this white stuff everywhere, and it was COLD! I suddenly felt the urge to sing!!!

"What’s this? What’s this? There’s color everywhere.
What’s this? There’s white things in the air.
What’s this? I can’t believe my eyes, I must be dreaming,
Wake up Jane, this isn’t fair.
What’s this?
What’s this? What’s this? They've stolen Christmas Day?
What’s this? They've hidden it away!
What’s this? Our clothes have all been changed around,
Wearing the colors of a rose
The same color as my nose!
What is this?
What’s this?
There’s children throwing snowballs, instead of throwing spears
They're trees in every dwelling, that stay green all year!
There’s socks near every fire
are they hanging out to dry?!
And in my soul I feel the urge thats telling me to fiiiiiggghhhtttt!!!!!"

"Jane, what ARE you doing?"

I looked around in mid epic singing pose to look at Jack. "Actually I dont know, something came over me. But for real, what is all this cold white stuff? Its like ash from a volcano but yet cold instead of hot?? And all this revelry, is it some sort of ancient tribal offering to the gods? Are they going to sacrifice us to this Sandy Claws beast Jack!? Are they ARETHEY?!!?!?!?!?" I shook Jack to get him to answer me, before Brigh stepped in.
"No Jane, its obvious to me what is happening here. Santa Claus is wearing red, Jane. RED. THE COLOR OF COMMIES!!!! HE must be a member of the council, so we have to find his lair and defeat him!!"

I blinked. "Well I dont know what a Commie is but I understand that beasts live in lairs so lets go find him!!!!"

Jack sighed.