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Thread: Poetry Corner

  1. #281
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    to the poet above me, you definitely have a wonderful grasp on the fairy tale style rhyme. even some of the sentence structures that you had to change fit in well with the language of the poem. if that's part of a novel, then the rhyme scheme could become very repetitive. you did say graphic novel though, meaning the illustrations could provide the variety. see that project through though, always. while you're interested in it, that's prime time for creativity!
    --

    "That Whir"

    Snow coats the road, flake
    by flake. Slow,
    I drive, waiting for the heat to kick in.
    Past midnight and deadened is this night,
    Alone, save the sigh of the highway.

    Tires, the road, the lampglows,
    All whir to me, that steady sigh,
    I could sleep inside it otherwise.

    But tires become tires as I slow to a stoplight.
    Quieter, the highway deadens,
    To mute.
    And I'm too warm.

    dratini by day

    haunter by night

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  2. #282
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Thanks! It is a bit repetitive... I hope my art provides a distraction, but it's not exactly the best!

    As to your poem- wow! The theme and the rhythm made quite an impression on me. Just finding that perfect moment, that hum, among all the background noise... it's a beautiful metaphor. Like I said earlier, I'm not exactly the person to ask... the only flaw I could maybe pick at is that you repeated "deaden." But was that intentional?

    I'd like to contribute two other poems from last December. The second I like more than the first.

    Two Poems For Winter
    I remember the mirror
    That they placed in the hall
    And the white shroud that covered it
    Covered it all
    And how the light struck
    On its half-hidden face
    The worlds laid beneath
    Shining in case
    Of some traveler coming
    Carrying his fear
    Like a ghost to a place
    Past some distant pier
    I remember the mirror

    II
    His hand clasped in hers
    Her hand clasped in his
    On a high star-flung ledge
    And far below this
    A chasm of fire
    And from it a heat
    A smoke that has taken
    All chance to speak
    Their eyes lock together
    Their eyes gaze beneath
    They clutch tight their hands
    But a rumble comes, deep
    The call of the others
    And fingers unfold
    The fires as they fall
    Are terribly cold

  3. #283
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Greetings

    Hello, I'm empty again
    Can you tell me what to feel?
    I'm not sure I want to hear
    you're sweet nothings
    all again. It's just a lie.

    So kiss me once and then let me go.
    I'll let your body drop
    off this cliff face down below
    and I'll turn and head on home.

    Hello, you're back so soon.
    I thought you said goodbye?
    You said you didn't want
    my thoughts and memories.
    So I've turned them all to ash.

    So kiss me once then let me go.
    I will not hold your hand
    any longer than I must.
    I refuse to save your life.

    Goodbye, this time for good.
    Pull the blinds down, shut the door.
    I won't wait for the knock,
    I'll set this place on fire,
    and embrace the flames and smoke.

    So kiss me once then let me jump.
    You will not catch my fall,
    but you always said you would,
    but now I knew you never.



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    Quote Originally Posted by shazza View Post
    Mt. Moon gives me that similar feeling I used to get when I would wake up first thing in the morning as an 11/12 year old and get excited about browsing TPM.

  4. #284
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Commence: Operation Clear-Head

    sometimes i find myself studying my very crux
    fly-on-the-wall in Jesmond Starbucks
    adding layer upon layer in the aftermath of playing the player

    embossed behind glass panes
    why did you love this place
    do you still love this place? Or have you decided you can't love it anymore; it's not what you want [to drink your coffee] in life
    I hope you come here to mope, come here to hope
    that I'll get in touch.
    I won't
    I hurt, you hurt, both in pain when feelings burnt
    exploding into the sky like a supernova
    a supernova that nobody can see; we shield uninterested eyes from the spectacle of our history

    TV tells me this hat will go well with the Facade I've been sporting for...months
    and maybe a pair of beat up chucks
    Muggy summer day, shove revision out the way, what to do but wonder what you are.
    A marvel of the mind, boxed in by the arbitrary,
    Losing all functuality, dissolving of soul.

    Not a morning person; happiest in my sleep, where you manifest as my angel,
    Performing like the method actor in love with me
    you're not coming around, are you.
    if only you could see how happy you were last night
    as I stared into your eyes
    3am-11am. It Was Wonderful.

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  5. #285
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Aw Chris, I really liked your poem, even if I didn't really get what it was about! haha. There was something enchanting in your phrasing. Especially the last three lines. I don't know what it was, but I liked it :-)



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    Quote Originally Posted by shazza View Post
    Mt. Moon gives me that similar feeling I used to get when I would wake up first thing in the morning as an 11/12 year old and get excited about browsing TPM.

  6. #286
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Pancake: Thanks for reading, glad you liked it. If you read it a couple times I think you can sorta see what its about. The narrator is musing over an old flame, who still holds true in their heart, particularly in their dreams. But maybe the very concept of layer upon layer is perpetually shielding their feelings in the poem.


    Orange
    does fruit miss the peel?
    exposed, vulnerable; lonely
    now you are a fruit
    Last edited by Chris 2.1; 27th May 2009 at 07:20 PM.

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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Ah Chris, that orange poem gave me plenty of lulz.

    Not feeling particularly poem creative right now.

    But I may edit one in later



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    Quote Originally Posted by shazza View Post
    Mt. Moon gives me that similar feeling I used to get when I would wake up first thing in the morning as an 11/12 year old and get excited about browsing TPM.

  8. #288
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    I think it sounds like something thats been badly translated into English :p

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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Will reply to the other poems when my soul isn't being crushed by deadlines - but just wanna say, I loved "Orange". It's so ... Japanese-haiku-run-through-Babelfish, or something. But in a lovely, endearing way. So simple but it has a nice sentiment.

    "now you are a fruit"

    Awesome.
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    In

    I caved
    in
    But I don't mind all that much
    For instance; there are 6,782,536,522 people in the world
    And yet we have a mere 171,476 words in the dictionary for which we as individuals can express ourselves
    What a horrific ratio
    What if one were to feel something inexpressible?
    Do we make a word up
    Blurg Smorf Ksnib.
    Maybe my academia overwhelms me
    Am I merely examining the relationship between thought and sound too much?
    But I do not like the odds between the people and what these people can think.
    What if the medically insane are merely exhibiting symptoms of a soul expressing more than we have created? What if we don't see their genius.

    The more life toys with me; a tiger playing with dinner,
    I realise that everything I ever thought is actually upside down

    And I love you, which is wrong
    It's not what the world has taught me about moving on and retaining some pride
    character, persona, feel.
    Hell I'll tell you this like a dirty secret. You are all I ever want
    But how to find a word to describe someone I love - and hate - simultaneously. Someone
    who has let me down
    made me weep my optimism and charm to a cause unjust
    Someone who made me say 'enough'

    But someone who pulls me back with a vocal touch.

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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Aw Chris I like your poetry And the way you phrase things too


    Shoe

    Stay with me
    These lonely roads are haunting to drive along
    And in the darkness, in the silence,
    There was you
    I'm leaping, I'm falling headlong
    Into your words, into a memory
    I would do anything for this
    To last a life time

    I'm drowning
    I can see the surface but I'd rather sink
    Into green backyards, into summer scenes
    I'm with you
    Running up, running down again
    Swing around the old hills hoist
    Good bye sweet surface, you have
    Nothing to offer me

    Tomorrow
    You are my most trusted companion
    You keep me going, my world there is safe
    And comfortable
    I'm torn between my two lovers
    The yesterday and the yet to come
    Now is such an ugly place to be
    When compared to you

    Blond curls
    Bright blue eyes and a reason to grow up
    Conquering the world, winning us over
    Making me proud
    From being born to being here
    There's not a moment I would miss
    If it were my choice but clearly it's not.
    If only it were.

    I saved a seat
    in church and kept glancing at the door
    Fooling myself that you would walk on through
    Blush for being late
    Stay with me, I begged of you
    Please don't leave, but you have too
    I would do anything for you
    to last a life time
    here
    Last edited by PancaKe; 3rd June 2009 at 03:31 AM.



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    Quote Originally Posted by shazza View Post
    Mt. Moon gives me that similar feeling I used to get when I would wake up first thing in the morning as an 11/12 year old and get excited about browsing TPM.

  12. #292
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Chris: Nice poems, I liked the last one the best. The feeling of doubt, non-understanding and constant pondering is nicely written.

    What if the medically insane are merely exhibiting symptoms of a soul expressing more than we have created? What if we don't see their genius.
    I like this scentence in particuliar.


    Tara: Interesting poem. I like the way the you personified tomorrow, yesterday and now; and portraited them as lovers. Very well-thought off.

    I'm drowning
    I can see the surface but I'd rather sink
    Into green backyards, into summer scenes
    I'm with you
    Running up, running down again
    Swing around the old hills hoist
    Good bye sweet surface, you have
    Nothing to offer me
    This struck me. I like the hopelessness in these phrases. Kudos to you.

    Here's another random poem I wrote. Please tell me what you think of it.



    ***

    Cohesion is my newyears wish

    If you could really look into my eyes you'd see that my pupils are holes;
    Composed of supressed evidence and half-truth.

    The corporeal vision you see is just a cloak.
    You see what I want you to see.
    Smiles keep the inner-chested darkness safely hidden.
    Masquering; my specialty. Masquering my doubts.

    Numb is how you wish to be.
    A relish for that drag, for that mindclosing substance.
    Frustration of your moral. Eating away at your consience.
    Like pulling out your hair, one by one.

    Limbs are sweating, a heat worthy of despair.
    Somatic discomfort means nothing to your head.

    The stratification of mind and heart created the great diverge.

    Cohesion is my newyears wish.

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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Nothingness is in the world I inhabit
    As the souls of those I loved now fade away
    Nothing in this world has to power to stop it
    And no one will know how much I have gone astray
    No man or woman can know how this feels
    To be a monster trapped in a man
    The hatred boiling through my veins and writhing like eels
    A darkness within me I cannot ban
    Someone come and take this evil from me
    Please come at any time
    For this is the fate that just has to be
    This being known and me is a criminal, for living is my crime

    Well I guess that about sums up my feelings in the past month, what do you guys think?
    “ In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil's might,
    Beware my power... Green Lantern's light! ”
    —Hal Jordan/All Current Lanterns

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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Its very powerful. There's an incredible sense of helpnessness which is oddly charming. Really nice work.



    Ferris Wheel
    Eclipsed, your emotions kept to yourself
    Like a juicy secret or a powerful knowledge
    to savour and enjoy when your bedroom door creaks shut

    Once I understood you Cycle
    I calm; no lashing out and shouting at Michael.
    If I ever see that boy again I will shake his hand
    I think he saw into my soul
    That weekend in January

    It brings me great satisfaction watching 'the spin';
    The safeguard dip
    and the conscience sin
    It's something I have waited to see,
    to marvel at your humanity
    And to know you better than anyone else.

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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Thanks Chris. your poem is very nice, I like the strange scheme that seems to work that you have going.

    Living in a life like mine is nothing but a nightmare
    Hoping to catch yourself in the middle and awake without a scream
    Not being able to shake yourself awake in the middle of this ongoing despair
    Thinking that your life is nothing more than a horrible dream
    Love, the one thing in your wretched life that made it all worth while
    Now seems like nothing more than a faded photograph in an ancient book
    Now everything seems to look horrid and the very air tastes vile
    All you can think about now is how life has made you look
    Emotions were once your only portal from this hellish place
    Now they are good for nothing more than making you cry
    You know now that your hate and rage has shown its true face
    Your the one who drove them away and now you want to die
    Life seems fleeting now as you lay in your own blood
    Nothing but thoughts of her swimming in your head
    Even though it feels like your trudging through mud
    You can't stop thinking of how she will hate you because your dead
    You awaken the next week in a white gown surrounded by people you know
    She is standing there beside you, a look of sadness on her angelic face
    Your hand in hers, you now know where you need to go
    Down the aisle with her by your side, that is your true place.

    What do you think of this one?
    “ In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil's might,
    Beware my power... Green Lantern's light! ”
    —Hal Jordan/All Current Lanterns

  16. #296
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Yeah. I enjoy reading poetry now. It makes me glad of the cup of tea in my hand. I feel very sophisticated and artsy.

    Thorn - I like the rhyming pattern you have going on, the A B A B format, and the way it's coupled with such dark emotions. Usually a structure like that conveys happiness and whatnot, but it's interesting the way you make it work! I like



    Happy Birthday

    I made this for you
    I thought you would like it
    and you did

    It's on your wall proudly
    declaring times you wish you'd never left
    Moments like these only live only live
    through rose coloured glasses

    I hate you
    You have me all choked up
    I wish you were never born
    Then I wouldn't care



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    Quote Originally Posted by shazza View Post
    Mt. Moon gives me that similar feeling I used to get when I would wake up first thing in the morning as an 11/12 year old and get excited about browsing TPM.

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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Thank you pancake, glad to see someone likes my work ^_^. Yours was interesting, I liked the scheme you were using, and though it is short I think it conveys your message clearly.

    Nothing more than a happy face
    Plagued by sadness and despair
    Even though I know my life is not a waste
    Sometimes it seems hard to want to care
    Now the happy thoughts are shining bright
    And the life I live is becoming good
    I have gone from the darkness to the light
    And can now do what I once never thought I could
    Everything is spinning in this new world of mine
    As my head settles in this grand and luxurious place
    Now I am happy and everything is fine
    As I now gaze into your beautiful eyes and see the smile on your face

    you likes?
    “ In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil's might,
    Beware my power... Green Lantern's light! ”
    —Hal Jordan/All Current Lanterns

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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Aww Pancake your poem had this really nice vibe. It started off so sweet and sentimental but turned sour quite quickly. I liked the duality of emotion

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  19. #299
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Well, I want to describe some poems with some phrases.

    PancaKe: Definitely I felt like a tidal wave on this one. rising up at the beginning with a good feeling to crash down wildly with rage into shore. Pretty cool poem.

    Thorne: I feel like a chamber of secrets on this one, since I felt like, at the beginning, emotions were locked up with a "smiling face" seal, and then, when it opens up, those emotions crawl out to mix themselves with all the happy feelings of the new chapter at the end. Like the light at the end of the tunnel.

    Well, here's a new piece of mine. As usual, based on fact of my own life, jeje.

    It lies within you

    I sometimes feel weird around you
    Everytime I heard: “I’ve felt that way too”
    A chill would run my bones…
    Plus there are rumors that are making me feel worse.
    “She is afraid of love.”
    “She thinks you are just doing good things just to impress her.”
    Is it true?
    The answer lies within you.

    ...


    I want the best for you.
    What can I do for you?
    Stop doing good things around you?
    Find a cure for the fear of love?
    Trust me!
    I’ll do it!
    But to fulfill the bond of trust…
    …not only lies within me…
    …it also lies within you.



    If you wish to cry…
    I’ll be there with a hug and a handkerchief.
    If you want to scream…
    I’ll have a megaphone ready in a place with echo.
    If you prefer to jump…
    I buy a springboard or a pogo stick to play
    If your passion is to dream…
    I’ll sweet your pillow and sweet dreams you will have.

    ...


    But if you yearn for love…
    If your interest is to love…
    Then my love is all… I have to give.
    The only possible option…
    …to help you learn the art to love.
    Love is a decision.
    My decision…
    I love you.
    Your decision…
    …lies within you.



    It all comes down to this.
    A tiny, but strong friendship
    It will become… a newborn true love.
    ..Or a void of abnormal feelings.
    My wish…
    …to make you happy.
    My dream…
    …to be with you.
    My reality…
    …a secret love between a man and his words.

    ...


    Whenever you read this…
    …the truth will be known…
    …the secret will be revealed.
    If it becomes the first page of the book of the beautiful details of the reality…
    … or if it turns into another file of the book of the good past memories…
    … or if at least becomes a memory…
    …whatever happens…
    …I will assure you three words…
    I love you!

    ...

    The rest…
    …lies within you.
    Last edited by Shadow Wolf; 22nd June 2009 at 11:14 AM. Reason: EDIT: fixing a lot of typos


    Optimist award 2012.

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    Thank you everyone... for being so kind and for bringing out the best in me! You are definitely awesome! ^_^

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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Aw that is so sweet Louis !
    It's like, sweet but so sad, because it's hanging on by a thread in one sense - everything is dependent on the others response. Sigh a most frustrating situation to be in!



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    Quote Originally Posted by shazza View Post
    Mt. Moon gives me that similar feeling I used to get when I would wake up first thing in the morning as an 11/12 year old and get excited about browsing TPM.

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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Tears falling down my cheeks
    Crying like a child woken from a bad dream
    Nothing seems to calm my nerves
    Haven't heard from you in more than three weeks
    You've forgotten me or so it seems
    I guess I know that this is what I deserve
    Every night we lay together with false smiles
    Wishing one would say what they truly felt
    Knowing a darkness had invaded our once tranquil love
    Now I can see the problems stretched on for miles
    And there was nothing we could do as life beat us with its belt
    Its like everything fell on us from above
    Wondering where we went so wrong
    Why we let them chime in
    Who said they were the ones who should decide
    Why couldn't we play our own song
    See where our problems had been
    I wonder if it will drive us into a greater divide
    Now that we are not together anymore
    My heart feels as empty as a cave
    And my eyes are always stinging
    Everytime I think about how it is you I adore
    Everything that I gave
    And remembering how happy I was when I could hear your singing
    Now I cry every night in silent mourning
    Wishing things had not gone so bad
    Thinking I should have been more wise
    As the rain outside is pouring
    I think about all we ever had
    And all I can do is apologize...

    I've been really down lately thanks to a recent break up, and my feelings just started pouring out like a river, so I hope you guys can understand them here and now.
    “ In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil's might,
    Beware my power... Green Lantern's light! ”
    —Hal Jordan/All Current Lanterns

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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Aw, Thorn, it sounds really painful. I hope that you feel better real soon, however that comes about.


    It's cold.
    I should turn you on.
    I'm coughing.
    Here, this is my lung.
    I told you I was sick.
    Now look at me.
    You really wanted me
    to work like this?

    I don't think so.



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    Quote Originally Posted by shazza View Post
    Mt. Moon gives me that similar feeling I used to get when I would wake up first thing in the morning as an 11/12 year old and get excited about browsing TPM.

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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Pain seems to breed the best poetry lol.
    “ In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil's might,
    Beware my power... Green Lantern's light! ”
    —Hal Jordan/All Current Lanterns

  24. #304
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Quote Originally Posted by Thorne_Darkrose View Post
    Pain seems to breed the best poetry lol.
    Alanis Morissette (I'm a fan...) said something like "the two great forces that inspire art are anger/pain and love/joy". I'm convinced of the first one, still a bit dubious about the second.

    But yes, I agree with you TD.
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

  25. #305
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Tara that poem looked like the boyfriend wanted to have sex while you were feeling ill. Just one spontanous remark I strumbled upon in reading it.

    No disrespect.

  26. #306
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    10%

    Isn't it a sorry state of affairs
    That following the death of Michael Jackson
    All that worries me is I only score 10% on your Facebook quiz.

    It's not the broadcasting toward others
    Or that I couldn't console you when your hero died
    It's that there was always 90% of you I never knew.

    Show-Off
    Contest fic
    *Chapter 37 up*
    Posted September 22nd, 2013


    ________________________________________________



  27. #307
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    I visited my former hometown (where I lived for 7 years) yesterday.

    Haapavesi

    As a winter person
    I usually hate summer
    Prefer ploughing through blizzards
    But on that day
    I found good that it was summer
    For I visited my old hometown
    Haapavesi - The Pearl Of Pohjanmaa

    The storm of memories inside my mind
    When I walked there one more time
    But the familiar faces
    Friends I once had
    Had changed to strange people
    I will never live my memories again as they were
    Haapavesi - The Pearl Of Pohjanmaa

    There were new houses built
    All around where I once lived
    Fields had disappeared
    Everything was different
    Everything that I loved
    I will never live my memories again as they were
    Haapavesi - The Pearl Of Pohjanmaa

  28. #308
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Quote Originally Posted by MeLoVeGhOsTs View Post
    Tara that poem looked like the boyfriend wanted to have sex while you were feeling ill. Just one spontanous remark I strumbled upon in reading it.

    No disrespect.
    Hahaha lololol! No disrespect taken! That made me laugh actually. I can see how you came to that conclusion.

    Actually, I was just feeling like writing poetry that day. I was sick, it was cold, and I thought I should turn the heater on. Work also continually messaged me throughout the week I took off, demanding I go in and work, regardless of my health. I kept telling them "No, I'm not coming in, I'm too sick!" but they just wouldn't listen to me. I didn't go in , just in case you were wondering.

    But ahhh MLG you make me rofl.





    You Want Strategy?

    Stuff you!
    Came the cry
    We pumped our fists in the air
    And cheered for the work that was to be done
    For us, by us, in the south west

    Fifty odd people
    With still some missing
    Passionate. Inspired.
    Living and breathing Your word.
    Waiting to see change
    Praying to see revival
    For us, by us, in the south west

    I want to keep the truth the truth
    I want to keep it in my heart
    I want to make sure it stays the truth
    I want to make sure it's never changed
    I want to make sure it's our reason
    I want to make sure it's why we fight
    I want to see the world come and know you
    I want to see it happen with our hands

    Stuff you and your resources
    Stuff you and your cash
    Stuff you and your committed workers
    Stuff you and the appeal of your land
    Stuff you and your comfortable thousands
    Stuff you and your discrimination
    Stuff you and your strategy

    We'll see training done for us, by us, in the south west
    We'll see plants done for us, by us, in the south west
    We'll see hearts won by us in the south west
    We'll see your light go out, by us in the south west
    We'll see your kingdom grow, in the south west
    We'll see people know, in the south west
    We'll see hope, in the south west
    We are the strategy in the south west.



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    Quote Originally Posted by shazza View Post
    Mt. Moon gives me that similar feeling I used to get when I would wake up first thing in the morning as an 11/12 year old and get excited about browsing TPM.

  29. #309
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Nothing is what I am
    No one is who I was
    Nobody is who you see now
    A no good life upon the world
    A nothingness in the space of man
    A meaningless thing in your way
    I am nothing, no one and nobody, the three things you wish you weren't
    I am the negative one, the one who everyone hates
    I am the one and only end of all things
    My fate is that of everything in the end
    The sweet darkness that befalls you all
    I am alone, with nothing, no one, and nobody to talk to
    I am your heart when he left you
    Your heart when your parents die
    Everything that you felt when you felt pain and sorrow
    What is this you have brought me now
    A new love to quash and send to the depths of your heart
    Your feeding me a new life today
    And I shall infect them as I have infected you
    I am the despair in everyone, the thing you fear the most
    Everyone has me in them somewhere
    For I am the one known to you all as doubt
    I make you feel worthless
    And make you miserable
    Thats what I was made to do
    And now you will suffer my fate
    Everyone you meet is infected with me
    I am a virus to which there is no cure.

    What do you guys think?
    “ In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil's might,
    Beware my power... Green Lantern's light! ”
    —Hal Jordan/All Current Lanterns

  30. #310
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Thorn, you know I like your poetry! I love the interesting imagery you use. Certain phrases really get at me, and hit me, because they're different, interesting or even just because you use them in a way that fits the poem and conveys your message.

    I think the idea of the virus really ended the poem on a strong, resonating note.



    Thank you that your love
    Meant Your son crucified on a cross
    Thank you that your love
    Meant His death was sufficient for us
    To be brought home
    Where you longed for us to be
    Thank you, Oh Lord
    That you have chosen me

    Those nails hammered in, one by one
    You turned away from Your only Son
    He took Your cup, took your penalty
    He drank till it was finished, for me

    Thank you that you said
    All would be complete in Him
    Thank you that you did
    What you had promised from the start
    You paid the price
    So now we take up our own
    And march our cross
    For your glory for your son



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    Quote Originally Posted by shazza View Post
    Mt. Moon gives me that similar feeling I used to get when I would wake up first thing in the morning as an 11/12 year old and get excited about browsing TPM.

  31. #311
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    original template

    you mullet-dived into the classroom's glare
    tripped on the carpet and sat in the front row
    you waited.

    you worked mundane and thankless
    but unaccountably, irresponsibly
    the jack of all trades
    the master of none.

    you walked into that room, arrogant-chinned
    unwilling and unready
    to have your skin stretched over their frame.

    how you cried and railed!
    you ran, musicked, poetried!
    and you were like you.
    what are you like now?
    ...Quest for the Truth of the Legend ...

    Lisa the Legend

    Winner of 12 Silver Pencil Awards 2011 - Including Best Plot, Best Character in a Leading Role, Best Moment and Best Fic of the Forum for Lisa the Legend!

    Quote Originally Posted by mr_pikachu
    Feel free to withdraw at any time, Gavin.

    Quote Originally Posted by DragoKnight View Post
    ...Far too many references!! You're like the Swiss army knife of discussion.

  32. #312
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    I like the flow of the poem, and how it conveys a religious message in such a powerful way. I think you did really well with the phrasing too, even though you repeated alot, it was done so in a way that was compelling and more helpful to the poem. It is written well, and I love the way you continue thanking god even though some would have stopped by the time they reached the death, it shows your gratitude to the Lord.

    A day marked in blood
    Like any other day in my life
    Reaching out to grab your hand
    And falling short every time
    Looking out to find your eyes
    Only to find they are closed
    Stepping up to take care of you
    Only for you to vanish without a trace
    For too long have I searched for you
    Looking everywhere I could
    Keeping a look out on the horrizon
    And loking back when ever I can spare the glance
    I have searched for you everywhere
    Except in the one place I should be looking
    I walk past that place every day
    And miss that spot on purpose
    For thats the place we fell in love
    And I know you could never be there
    But one day I looked there and there you were
    In the arms of another man
    I cried that night and every night since
    Because I could have had you back
    But I failed to act in time
    And someone else took their chance
    I watch you from afar now
    Living in the streets and in my car
    Just so I can live closer to you
    And watch you be happy
    I'm dead and gone now, and your crying at my casket
    Saying you looked for me but couldn't find me
    Telling me you never stopped loving me
    But now its all too late
    Your alive and I am dead and gone
    He tries to console you but to no avail
    You cry for days only to leave him
    And live on your own single from then on
    Crying of the love you lost
    And of the life I chose to live
    Nothing could save you and so I struck a deal
    I told the one who could help me I would do anything
    He gave me one chance to go back and change things
    To find a way to save you from this fate
    And so I went back and looked there the first time
    Where we fell in love in that April day
    And there you were looking for me
    We hugged and kissed and made up for lost time
    Got our lives on track and got married
    Years later I died and you once again cried at my casket
    Our children beside you
    You said you wished I was still there, but said not to worry
    You said you loved me and you would see me when your job was through
    When you died our children sobbed
    But you only smiled as you raced back into my arms
    There we now set, watching from afar
    Watching as our children grow
    And seeing them fall in love
    I guess God was merciful to me
    To let me try once more
    And I took what he gave me, and made the best of it
    Now we're with one another for all time
    And nothing could make me happier...

    Ok this is a bit different from my usual swing of things, what do you think?
    “ In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil's might,
    Beware my power... Green Lantern's light! ”
    —Hal Jordan/All Current Lanterns

  33. #313
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    OK, I just finished this song. I have yet to compose the notes, and I'm afraid I'll have to wait until my music threapy begins again, so that we'll have the equipment. The melody will be affected by the original Gym Leader Fighter theme, I think. It's meant to be realized in the spirit of Blind Guardian and Nightwish, but not sure if it'll work.

    Pokemon Power Metal

    Pokepokepokemon Pokepokepokemon
    Pokemon
    Pokepokepokemon Pokepokepokemon
    Pokemon

    For how many times we haven't seen the end
    Of those tales that legendaries tell
    The journey of Ash Ketchum
    Misty covered in mist
    Brock yearning for love
    Tracey is always drawing
    May my May come
    And her brother Max
    The beauty of Dawn

    Pokepokepokemon Pokepokepokemon
    Pokemon
    Pokepokepokemon Pokepokepokemon
    Pokemon

    A new life bigger than ours ever was
    A new journey has begun
    A new adventure waiting to be fulfilled
    Will we ever catch them all

    You are my fantasy you are my Pokemon
    Our smiles, tears never were in vain
    In Sinnoh in Hoenn
    We are destined to meet
    For on that day we
    Exchanged our promises
    We could come
    Comprehending life
    This meaning of it
    Of battling
    Of winning
    Of losing
    Of training

    Pokepokepokemon Pokepokepokemon
    Pokemon
    Pokepokepokemon Pokepokepokemon
    Pokemon

    A new life bigger than ours ever was
    A new journey has begun
    A new adventure waiting to be fulfilled
    Will we ever catch them all

    We walk over high mountains that are in Sinnoh
    Roam that desert in Hoenn searching for
    A path, deliverance
    Wander volcanic isles
    Near beloved Kanto
    Secret icy dungeon
    In Johto
    Blind without flash move
    In a cave we are

    Pokepokepokemon Pokepokepokemon
    Pokemon
    Pokepokepokemon Pokepokepokemon
    Pokemon

    A new life bigger than ours ever was
    A new journey has begun
    A new adventure waiting to be fulfilled
    Will we ever catch them all

    Shall we ever truly comprehend the power
    Aiming meteors back at the gods above
    This is not Kanto
    Where can we go to get to Johto
    Hoenn is out of reach
    We are in Sinnoh in our dreams
    May's father once told
    There's a time and a place for everything
    But my item Pocket is empty
    My PokeDex lost
    Barren and lifeless Johto lies
    Kanto was once full of them

    Pokepokepokemon Pokepokepokemon
    Pokemon
    Pokepokepokemon Pokepokepokemon
    Pokemon

    A new life bigger than ours ever was
    A new journey has begun
    A new adventure waiting to be fulfilled
    Will we ever catch them all

    [solo]

    You are my fantasy you are my Pokemon
    I just wanted to be loved
    Be worth of Gardevoir, Staryu
    Misdreavus, Bronzong
    Dragonair changed the winds
    Ho-oh rules over the Moon
    Latios guardian of Water Capital
    The gigantic Regigigas

    Pokepokepokemon Pokepokepokemon
    Pokemon
    Pokepokepokemon Pokepokepokemon
    Pokemon

    A new life bigger than ours ever was
    A new journey has begun
    A new adventure waiting to be fulfilled
    Will we ever catch them all

    Pokepokepokemon Pokepokepokemon
    Pokemon
    Pokepokepokemon Pokepokepokemon
    Pokemon

    A new life bigger than ours ever was
    A new journey has begun
    A new adventure waiting to be fulfilled
    Will we ever catch them all

  34. #314
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Ode to Bushmills


    My legs ache from lying
    Ear hot from your whispers
    And my eyes scan the ceiling for rousal.
    No movement.
    Flick aimlessly
    And sigh
    Talking about nothing laced with everything.

    How long a week can seem
    Especially fuelled by two hours of heavy breathing
    and inhaling your scent
    wrapped around your words.
    You Animal.

    But while I sign, swoon;
    I know tomorrow morning looms,
    The famed 'Talk of Shame'
    ;the clause that cracks the contract.

    So bashful - an angel in G-Star Denim,
    how dare people see you for who you really are?

    My insight is sacred,
    I savour your Truth
    Gazing as Bush soaks your lips
    relishing the hour when
    I touch your soul.

    More beautiful than even you

    Show-Off
    Contest fic
    *Chapter 37 up*
    Posted September 22nd, 2013


    ________________________________________________



  35. #315
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Broken hearted once again
    Not just another sin
    Nothing more here for me
    Other than this tragedy
    Despicable and lucideous deeds
    Hides among the flowers and the weeds
    As the poor little bumble bee
    Falls to the death that is me
    I have nothing now and never will
    I'll never knew how to go for the kill
    Moved in to quick and lost my prey
    Now I feel like I can't face the day
    Not sure how things are gonna go
    Without my love I do not know
    Fortunately I can sit here and sigh
    Instead of bumbling and asking why
    I'll just sit here under this old tree
    Writing on my poetry
    Looking to the sky above
    And wondering about my lost love
    I feel as though I am a corpse
    Something trampled by a horse
    Though I feel like carrion
    I know you'll save me Marian
    You'll take me out of this pit of dark despair
    And bring me out to the fresh air
    You'll hold my hand and give me wings
    While the most wonderous singer sings
    Forever now shall we last
    Alas it was this sweet girl from my past
    She got in then and now shes here
    Loving meand holding me dear
    I guess it wasn't so bad after all
    For now I stand instead of fall
    Next time I face this menace I won't be alone
    So long as I can grab my phone
    Your always here and always care
    For I know my Marian is always there

    Just a quick poem dedicated to someone who lifted me from a very dark place todayand helped me get my composure and sanity back... Marian this is for you.
    “ In brightest day, in blackest night,
    No evil shall escape my sight
    Let those who worship evil's might,
    Beware my power... Green Lantern's light! ”
    —Hal Jordan/All Current Lanterns

  36. #316
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    Default Re: The 2009 Silver Pencil Awards ~ Suggestion Topic!

    Oh the temptation to tl;dr you is too much to bear!

    I guess, realistically, it is stupid to have short story with poetry. The only reason I suggested that was because it also seemed stupid to cull short story awards, but with maybe one or two new ones popping up every now and then, not vital enough to keep it up.

    I'm thinking a Short Story Corner would be a good idea... Although is that the drabbles thread? Hrmmmmm...

    And yeah I can see everyone's points and where your all coming from. I can understand wanting to have heaps of awards so that everybody can win something and everybody can feel appreciated, but it does seem rather silly to have more categories than active stories....



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    Quote Originally Posted by shazza View Post
    Mt. Moon gives me that similar feeling I used to get when I would wake up first thing in the morning as an 11/12 year old and get excited about browsing TPM.

  37. #317
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Weekend in Rosyth

    Memory in scent,
    Shower, eradicate not
    Senses wrapped in you.

    Show-Off
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    *Chapter 37 up*
    Posted September 22nd, 2013


    ________________________________________________



  38. #318
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Here Be's Me

    It's been eight days since I stepped out of the train,
    Shook my hand and you led me through the rain,
    Passion eclipsed your fears
    We became a trend that we liked last year.

    Every shoot of doubt shot up from your pleasure
    Fearing that you'd be this way forever
    But alone with me you felt your crisis twist; a tryst
    Up against the wall that night we kissed.

    Whiskey swirled against my gums
    And I felt like I'd never won
    Understanding, your disguise
    My memories, like tiny spies
    Infiltrate and hypnotise.

    It's been five days since I clambered on the bus,
    Wishing You and Confidence the best of luck
    Giving something else to muse on while you sleep
    Curled between memories in sheets.

    Show-Off
    Contest fic
    *Chapter 37 up*
    Posted September 22nd, 2013


    ________________________________________________



  39. #319
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    Things We Do

    She laughed and said no way
    This can't be happening
    Too excited to contain the emotion
    I smiled and was proud
    I've always been proud of you
    If only you had some idea
    How proud you made me
    How I beam when you're around

    Sometimes I take your things
    And I always intend to give them back
    It just never happens though
    It slips my mind
    But then I see my things at yours
    And realize we are the same
    And I get angry and demand them back
    I secretly don't mind

    You whisper to me, don't make me go
    You fret and worry and panic
    I make you go because you'll do fine
    You always do achieve
    I didn't mean to cry when you read
    The first time in front of us
    I couldn't let you see me cry
    And then I had to leave



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    Best Poem (All I Can Say About You) | Best Plot Twist (Full Moon) | Best Contributor | Queen of Fanfic | TPM Addict



    Quote Originally Posted by shazza View Post
    Mt. Moon gives me that similar feeling I used to get when I would wake up first thing in the morning as an 11/12 year old and get excited about browsing TPM.

  40. #320
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    Default Re: Poetry Corner

    The Tales of Sharks, Egg Sandwiches and All That Comes In Between

    Just sitting on the shelf, ever waiting
    To be noticed, but what for? Nothing
    Lies you feed yourself daily,
    Lies that lie to you

    Colours that sweep across the sky
    And stretch across the plains before us
    This moment should last a lifetime
    I'll never wish it's end upon us

    Beside me, you'll smile, you'll laugh, and I'll know
    You are mine, momentarily forever



    No Diamonds, Please

    It's not that I don't love you
    I can't explain it like I can with her
    Or why I can at least put it in words.

    You know you're my everything
    I know that I'm yours
    Is it so wrong to want proof in a ring?

    Why can't I hold your hand if you're scared?
    Why can't I fight away the monsters in your closet?
    Let me protect you, like I promised.



    Sprint

    I seem to be able to write
    At three am in the morn
    All my feelings are typed
    And into words transform

    It's me avoiding my bed
    It's me avoiding some sleep
    It's me avoiding some rest
    Which I so badly need.

    I wish I were in your arms
    I wish you weren't just in my head
    If I could compose the songs
    I'd sing you my words instead
    Last edited by PancaKe; 21st July 2009 at 12:54 PM.



    ♥ Funeral for a Friend . Opeth . Faith No More . Dream Theater ♥
    Unown ! Award (2008) for Amazing Comback!
    Unown S Award (2009) for Smile
    2009 Silver Pencils:
    Best Poem (All I Can Say About You) | Best Plot Twist (Full Moon) | Best Contributor | Queen of Fanfic | TPM Addict



    Quote Originally Posted by shazza View Post
    Mt. Moon gives me that similar feeling I used to get when I would wake up first thing in the morning as an 11/12 year old and get excited about browsing TPM.

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