Quote Originally Posted by Chris 2.1 View Post
Thanks Gavin, and yes, your correction was, er, correct. I find the more I try and think about writing, the less I get done. Last night, after quite an emotionally heavy weekend previously, I just put everything down on paper.

But even though I drew on some personal experience, the poem was meant to look generally at relationships, their destructive and exhaustive power. Particularly when someone who has been 'the other man' suddenly realises their partner is cheating. A sort of role-reversal.

Really appreciate the feedback
Good to get the full picture of where you were taking it man. Your poetry is always quite inspiring and clever, so it's a pleasure to read.

Quote Originally Posted by Shadow Wolf View Post

A soul seeking it…
A million more craving it…
But no one gives it!
This feels like some kind of ineffable universal need or conundrum. But what is it, out of interest, Louis?

Quote Originally Posted by Oslo View Post
My Second Body

How else might I convince you
except to fix my lungs upon a pin?
Perhaps I need to bleach my bones, jar tendon,
or splay my nerves against a screen
and let you map their blue fragility?
Dear skeptic, I can lend you nothing
more than all of it: my knees,
their pocked exteriors,
my cheeks, my pores and frigid palms.
You will measure and do tests,
scouring my flesh with chemicals
to learn its every end and limit.
Even after all of this, you'll still deem it necessary
to hold in your studious hands
my breasts, those which
you struggle most to validate.
Really, all that you require
lies below my chest, beneath it.
Press your beating wrist
against my muscled heart.
Let the rhythms unify.
Then syncopate. Then unify again.
Bear witness to that pear-shaped thing,
that pump. Then, feel yours. Hold onto it.
Maybe now, knowing
my authentic body,
you’ll never again ask,
“What kind of a

are you?”
Wow, man, your poetry always hits something deep inside ... This piece, I feel, could be even shorter and be more effective and resonant, but the images that you have included are just breathtaking. Those splayed nerves and their blue fragility. Whoa. Nice work.